![tinder[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3aZMgJ3.jpg "tinder[1].jpg")
Tinder stories thread, faggots
Post stories of wins, and of losses
Bonus points for pictures
>>706587114
bump
what are some good ways to break the ice? I'm fresh off a 3 year relationship, not necessarily looking for a hook up but in the time i dated this girl it's like i forgot to talk how to them.
No need for ice breaker
i met my gf on tinder then 6 months later we started using tinder again to find girls for threesomes. its super easy once you get your technique down. we had a new girl over every weekend for the last 6 months and i was super novice before I met her now I group sex is a regular hobbie that we enjoy together haha not really poly and we only fuck other girls. also im 28 and shes 21 in college so it makes it a lot easier to find girls. just gotta be straight up. i usually only have to send 3-4 messages before I have a number and set a date to meet. also we have always fucked on the first time meeting all these girls lol. girsl that say there arent there for hookups are liars lol and the less you talk the better. just match and make plans and follow through. no one wants to meet up asap and no one follows through.
>>706588323
>>706588748
kinda different when that's your end game.
what do you mean match make plans and follow through if no one wants to meet up asap and no one follows through haha.
>>706588958
yeah most betas dont follow thru and meet up so thats what makes the difference. everyones wants to meet up and fuck thats why they are on tinder. most people who cant get laid is cuz they dont follow thru. super easy if you just make plans and actually meet up
>>706589176
ah ok, true
bumping for more stories niggas
>>706589176
>follow thru
can you speak properly? what the fuck does that mean?
>>706587114
>be me
>alone and sad with no friends
>downloads tinder because I would at least test how to start conversations with girls
>take around 300 pics and choose the three best one
>being realistic and desperate I just swipe left for the ones I know I would have a real chance,some of them were almost twice my age
>two weeks go bye and I didn't got any match besides one obvious bot
>changed everything, I even went out to some places so I could pretend that those aren't all taken in the same day
>three months pass without a single match,not even a bot
>proceed to delet tinder
The girls I meet on Tinder don't reply to me. None of them. Why the fuck did they match up with me? I don't fucking understand.
>>706590320
accident swipes
>>706590483
I dont have any pictures from tinder as I'm now in a relationship but I do have a few tinder experiences from when I was single
Girl 1 was called Catherine. Her family own a BnB near me. Get talkin casually and I ask her what she was up to and her reply 'I'm playing with myself in bed' I was like wtf. Couldn't believe how straight to the point she was. She told me she was basically a sex addict. Sometimes, even when she was just walking down the street she was dripping wet because I guess she was extremely sensitive down there. We met up at a local bar the next evening and within an hour she was back at mine. She wasn't that great in bed unfortunately, but she made up for that ten fold with her blowjobs. Man, I still thing about her from time to time. Self confessed slut but had her issues. We only fucked a few times after then she called it off. Didn't bother me though. Knee deep in clunge on Tinder. Pic related (girl on right)
I have a couple more experiences if anyone wants
>>706590320
or your chat up game is weak
>>706590159
Are you ugly or something ? Should've made your radar bigger and gotten a landwhale for confidence boost
>>706591899
I have no idea what to say, so I usually take a detail from their bio or pics and say something about that.
wtf am I supposed to lead with? I don't want to come across as a fuckboi.
>>706592344
Start with "greetings traveler"
Had a one night stand with a girl while she was on vacation this summer.
Shit was cash
make female account
find male target 1
find male target 2
ask them both to meet me at spot x and say they should wear a red t shirt
two guys in red t shirt show up at an empty spot
i was watching from a distance
kek
>>706592344
well no two women are alike so what works on one might not work on the other so you have to kind of feel them out first. i usually start by saying something funny about their picture and just being blunt by saying 'id like to get to know you more' Don't be fucking creepy about it though. And act like a man who knows what he wants. Don't be apologising every two minutes. Women hate that shit. It looks weak. Ask them questions. Find out their passions and really get into their heads. Dont fucking brag. Use your intuition. That's how I roll (Guy who posted above about BnB girl)
>>706592642
damn college girl probs?
>>706592344
i usually use a stupid first sentence then I tell them I just wana fuck gotten like 4 or 5 that way
>>706592751
kek
>>706593181
>Don't be apologising every two minutes. Women hate that shit. It looks weak.
What the hell would I be apologizing for? I'm not an idiot.
Maybe I'll lead with a question instead of a statement. That's more of a hook. Thanks anon!
>>706591167
I was just kidding. I never used tinder I dont know shit about it.
buy new clothes. have some class. real class not fedora/douchebag class. Dress properly. Wear long sleeved shirts with dark jeans a lot. Be in shape. Not in mr universe shape but do 30minutes of exercise 4-5 times a week.
You skinny? Gain weight!!!!!! Eat 3-4times a day and exercise. You fat? Eat 3 times a day and move your fat ass.
and for the love of god READ. read books. you can be a fucking hobo and still get wemenz if you can dress properly and you seem like a literate man.
Try tinder again in 4 months and thank me later. Social media is incredibly superficial. Facebook, tinder and the other shits I dont even know are sucks ass and they attract shitty people in general. (I know many of them are not that bad. Maybe even 50% of them but hey thats 50% shitty people)
If you have no success on social media you can still slain pussy in the real world. Dont forget this.
Ohh and read books. you fucking cockucker now go get them.
>>706593481
yup, nyu
>>706593745
lucky dog was it a fine ass white girl at least?
>>706593644
I'm just talking about those beta fags who pander and apologise to girls for stupid little things. I've seen it with my own eyes mine. Shit is sad and cringeworthy af
>>706593813
you bet my nigga,
she had killer tits
used tinder to successfully find a gf for 8 months, followed by currently having two friends with benefits
>>706593981
hail satan
>>706593937
>my own eyes mine
my own eyes man*
fucking typo
>>706590159
Look at the second post. I literally stopped giving a shit and now talking to three qt3.14's. Going on a date tonight. Just don't give a fuck. Make it known you are down to bang
>meet a chick on friday
>she's 14 years younger than me
>spend all weekend together
>go out, get drunk, get food
>banged her all coceivable ways until she left me on monday
>will see again
I got catfished by a tranny yesterday. Just end my life.
>>706591555
check'd
and yeah share more stories nigga
>>706594704
greentext that shit
>>706595038
Next up is Sinead. Girl on right. What can I say, I fucking love brunettes. She was a real firecracker. Fiesty as fuck. Met her through a friend of a friend. Went to her house who she was sharing with a friend. Got drunk. All went out and came back to mine. Her mate had already told her mate who then told my mate she thought I was fit and wanted to fuck me so no effort needed. She was sat on the kitchen counter and everyone else was i the living room. I just said to her 'I like you, do you like me?' We were almost fucking in the kitchen. Had her legs wrapped round me like a fucking limpet. Took her to my room and we fucked like rabbits. Tight ass puusy (only 21). Again, only fucked her a few times. We both knew it was just a casual thing (she was on off with her bf but was split up with him at the time...at least to my knowledge) But yeah. Fuck she was good.
>>706594704
faggot
>>706595812
>like a fucking limpet
kek'd
>>706595638
>match with qt black girl
>I make a pun about her name
>proceed with pun competition
>she "green hearts" four of my comments
>this is going great
>she tells me she's a tranny
>it looks pretty damn convincing from the waist up, huge tits
>"...do you suck a mean dick?"
>tells me to fuck off
Welp.
>>706595812
Who wants the next. I have a few more corkers for you lads
I've gotten like 10 matches since I downloaded the app on sunday night, but I've talked to like 2 girls. one of them kinda lost steam, i tried that whole schtick of asking about their interests and stuff. i'm just shit at it when it's in text. other one is a mom. not sure what to do about that.
tl;dr
>how do i initiate dialogue because i'm a social cripple these days
>>706592344
Don't beat around the bush. You'll get to know them when you actually meet up, don't waste time on texting bullshit, just get to the point
>>706596628
keep them coming, it's hilarious
>>706596818
so what, almost immediately ask to meet for coffee/drinks?
>>706596818
That's actually great advice, I hate texting. It takes fucking hours for a conversation that could be accomplished in minutes through voice.
>>706596956
yes, I usually say what's up or something first but usually don't let like 4 or more messages build up before I ask if she's down to meet up. And also don't get discouraged, a lot of girls will swipe right on every guy just to boost their self esteem, if they don't respond to "hi" or "what's up" then they probably aren't down to meet up. Just keep getting more matches, literally anyone can get fucked via tinder with enough persistence
OC. I have a fwd so i just use it for cringe comedy to show my coworkers.
Met on Tinder in Jan 2015. Getting married at the end of this month.
>>706596838
Alright. Rolling in for girl number 3. Say hello to Izzy
>Hi Izzy
She was crazy. One of those vegan (I dont hate men, but I fucking do hate men kinda chicks) She was a 2 dater. First date was boring coffee. 2nd date was going out with her and a few friends. Back at mine. Nice takeaway (she had the vegetarian option obviously) Half an hour later we were in my room. Man, her ass was perfectly round. Had her bent over, eating that pussy from behind. Again, we were kind of casual but she was pushing for something more (after like 3 weeks...wtf) big red flag there. Anyway, it was her who ended up 'cheating' on me. Not that I gave a fuck. She went to a mates wedding or some shit. Told me about the next day. I was just like. Well at least I can fuck other girls now, cheers. Never spoken since
Met up twice this past month. First was a black chick who was a dead fish in bed. Second was an Indian chick who was very beautiful in her profile pic, but was 50 lbs heavier in real life. She was very forward about wanting the D. I ended up not taking her up on her offer because she was starting to bore me and I didn't want to have to deal with her anymore.
Tips: 1) be specific with the first message, pic something about her profile or picture to ask or tease her about. Ex. If they are tall i tease them about meeting up with short guys. Gets then talking about their specific experiences. 2) use the "cocky funny" technique where you tease her about something. 3) don't be shy about asking to meet up, that's why they're on tinder/bumble. 4) when you ask to meet up be specific (want to meet me for drinks Thursday at 8 pm at Vortex bar?), if she is interested she will offer an alternative if she's not available. 6) wash your ass crack with shaving cream, as the stearic acid does a good job of removing ass smell.
>>706587114
I use tinder since the beginning of this year and had three dates so far and always fucked the girl. Twice I nearly drifted into something serious. Tinder is a great app, it can really help you gain experience with girls. Once I met this crazy girl who said she could talk to trees and animals and ghosts and I still brought her home and fucked her. Thats the craziest tinder story I have to offer.
>>706598212
Who wants the next?
>>706597965
grats man
>>706598212
she looks kinda crazy
>>706598372
kek thanks for the tips.
>>706598673
keep going!
>>706598800
Yeah she was, man. She even admitted she was batshit insane. Very self aware about it, but I dunno. I did like her though, strangely enough. if she wasn't such a paranoid nutter, who knows...
>>706592344
Be specific about something in her profile or pic to tease her about. Reply with just "hey", says 'I'm uninteresting'. Lying always seems to help as well.
Live right now. AMA, friends.
>>706598372
Soap works fine on the ass crack. Just use a washcloth and scrub, then do it again.
The key here, and i cant emphasize this enough is to stand over a fan and let it get totally dry before you put your underwear on. I've had my ass eaten multiple times by this Italian girl (under the knee amputee actually, good sex because you can lay on the amputated side with her facing you while you fuck) and the air drying method worked perfectly.
Pic related. My clean o'rear
>>706597965
Tell your story, anon
>>706599388
whats the most interesting shit you have going on atm, and share
>>706599991
most interesting shit going on has moved over to what's app already. Right now all I'm trying to do is get some of these bitches to tell me hottest spots to hit up in town tonight. I'm traveling and don't know this city.
>>706598862
Right on. Gentlemen, meet Glenda. Standing in at 5 ft 2, she wasn't the best looking girl I'd been with but she had this sexy librarian thing goin on. I've always wanted to fuck a librarian. We actually had out first date on Skyp. Easy peasy. had a laugh with her and chatted about our shared love of game of thrones. We should defo meet up for a drink and then come back to wherever (mine of course) and binge watch Game of Thrones. The perfect bait n switch. Oh man, for such a tiny frame, she had pretty big firm tits. i was genuinely shocked. Pussy tighter than a pen lid. She wasn't great in bed tbh, but I always do most of the work anyway. And she was a bit shy when it came to blow jobs. Off putting if you're used to wild chicks. I kind of let her down gently. Ignoring messages, etc. I was a bit of a dick tbh. She eventually got the hint and just said fuck it and gave up. i still feel bad about it, but at the time I was fucking other girls who were better in bed so.....you know how it is.. But yeah. Glenda everyone
>>706598556
Gotta be careful about sticking your dick in a crazy chick. Don't know what they're capable of. Worried they'll cry rape if they have the slightest hint of coitus regretus.
>>706600336
ah shit forgot pic. Here it is. Girl on left
>>706587114
My GF work's out of town quite a bit and she is on tinder, she send me pics and i have to choose who she meet's
Pic related, GF
>>706599396
spread em
>>706600647
nice tits faggot
>>706587114
Im 25 year old. Recently matched a 33 year old milf. Banter back and forth on tinder, then she spontaneously wants to meet up on a thursday night even though i made plans for the weekend. I said I was watching the football game but i could meet her at halftime somewhere. She said ok and it was just a quick meet in public just to "officially meet."
Met her in the parking lot of a restaurant right next to her house. I step out of my car to give her a kiss on the check and hug. I accidently missed on the kiss and it landed on the corner of her lip. Then we kinda stand there looking each other up. she was fucking sexy. I pulled her in and we kissed. Brought her in my car, started making out. Goes down on me. I take her and bend her over on against a church right next to the parking lot. I met up with her once after to bang. Faded away after that.
>be on tinder
>match with cute girl
>go on date
>2 years later and we're still on it
>>706600336
Who wants the last one?
>>706587114
>>706600647
YOU.
FUCKING.
CUCK.
>>706600647
So you choose who fuck your gf?
Cuck swine!
>>706593686
I think you are wrong about reading books.
The style tips are right, a good oxford button down and dark denim and most importantly good shoes/boots.
But I've never met a girl who liked brains.
They prefer
1)humor
2)confidence
3)balls
Over intelligence.
And I have a lot of experience I've fucked four diffferent chicks in one day before
>>706600999
>>706600999
>>706600999
>>706601084
>Looking for friends
>Profile picture dressed like dick hunter
>>706592169
>landwhale for confidence boost
Kek it would make things worse
>>706601364
>no hookups
So this has been my profile for the past 3 weeks just to get a feel for tinder and conversation with the ladies. I've gotten 43 matches and had some good conversations with girls but end abruptly because they start asking what I look like. So what type of photos should I take of myself that show who I am and best highlight my appearance?
>>706597953
Moar!
>>706596771
Don't talk to hem about interest and shit. Say hello and after they respond ask them out. I know your scared anon but just fucking do it
>>706597965
You boys are cute! Congrats
>>706597965
Fag
I had an old roomate that went desperate one time and starting meeting tinder girls. He was a thin tall white kid who thought he was ghetto. Anyways he has this whale of chick come into our apt. (I guess she drove over 2 hours to meet him) and they do their thing. An hour goes by she storms out. I asked him what happened and he said that she sucked him and he nutted. She look at him and asked him to eat her out and he looked her dead in the eyes and said "Nah I'm good". Fucking hilarious.
>gf has cuckquean fetish
>find tinder date
>kiss on first date
>tongue on second
>licks on my dick on third
>full blowjob on fourth
>virgin and I try to get her to fuck but she's nervous
>get my dick sucked or fuck my gf before every date
>had my raw dick in my gfs ass on the 5th date when she sucks me off
>get bored and ghost her
>heart breaking texts all day long
>never spent much since our dates were just coffee and sucking me off in the car.
>>706590159
This. Lol. I don't know wtf women are looking for. I'm not that ugly. yet I get the same result. 0 matches.
>>706587114
Found ops mum and rekt her pussay i his bed. Shirt was cash.
>>706587114
>meet 8/10 on tindr
>she initiates meet up 4 days later
>thisseemstooeasy.gif
>hides 9mm under couch
>invites her in
>start kissing and feeling
>i get a knock on my door
>walks over to door
>sees girl dart across my living room
>run to get the gat
>point it at her
>shes screaming
>knocking gets louder
>tells her to open the door
>she opens it and runs past my roomate
>hes confused and im shooken up
no more tinder for me
>>706587932
In this anon's boat, bump.
>>706602878
Hashahaha
>>706602878
>>706603041
samefag.
>>706602878
my god those legs, wtf is this shit
>>706602878
dude wtf. you have ptsd from pussy or something?
Met my (now ex) gf on tinder. Were together for 4 months. She was drastically less experienced than me (not necessaruly sexually just worldly/mature wise). Anyway she was a bit insane (thats most women though) but she was very sweet and motivated me and the sex was bomb.
TL:DR generic tinder relationship #goodsex
>>706590145
I think they mean go with it
>>706603262
enjoy
>>706592344
>take a detail from their bio or pics
This is good, but make sure that what you say is actually interesting in some way. For example one girl in her bio was holding up a fish in a pic and said she was into environmental shit in her bio, I asked her "why are you tormenting that poor fish in your pic?" Another girl said she wanted to know where the best tacos in town are, I told her that they're "a closely guarded secret, can you be trusted?" One girl said she was from Austria so I opened in German. You don't have to be super smooth, overly sexual, or outright hilarious, just try to be flirty and not boring.
The other thing that might be happening with you is that you have a red flag somewhere in your profile. Girls might have swiped right just seeing your first pic. What's in your other pics and in your bio?
>>706603409
>4months
>gf
kek
>>706603625
nice ride LOL
>was a virgin
>moved to a college city
>met boy on tinder
>told him I didn't want to have the seks
>he was okay with it
>smoked the first night we met
>gave him a handjob second night we met after watching bob's burgers
>fucked the next night
>smoked some more after the glorious fuck
>1 year later, he is moving countries for me
Goddamn i love his dick
>>706602878
you are the reason why its so hard for me to meet women online. you're a faggot and deserve to stay alone
>>706603709
fucks ur problem faggot
>>706603865
>>706603865
no one gives a fuck about fags
>>706602878
did she call the cops?
>>706603696
My problem is that they don't talk back, not that I don't get matches.
>>706604050
Im a grill u gay retard
>>706602878
you ruined that
>>706604254
Ha! Gott em!
also you know the rules.
>>706604441
kezzles
>>706604254
yeah i get it, sometimes you're the girl, sometimes it's him. now piss off
First off, I'm not an attractive man. At my absolute best I'm still chubby and relatively short. 4/10. I know how to get talking which is the most important. Be incredibly open and thorough in your bio if you aren't good looking enough to get away with some snide shit. Once you get a match start talking whole-heartedly make this girl think you're for real. Make sure that you can make some connections within the first 10-15 texts whether that be her phone number, location or address for a meetup, a date, anything. I've been in my current relationship (not tinder) for 2 years. In March of this year my GF separated temporarily because she had serious personal issues that were putting a wedge between us. As soon as she separated I went on to tinder for rebound sex, and I had 3 options for sex - women that were explicitly down to fuck, and I didn't do it, didn't want to betray her trust, even if we werent totally together at that time. Called her at 3am told her I missed her, drove an hour back to her apartment and had the best sex of my life. GL with tinder, anons.
>>706604441
keklet
>>706604186
I know, that's what I'm saying. Your messages might be a bit boring, and you might have something in your profile that they didn't see because they swiped after only seeing your first picture.
>>706600647
>>706603650
any interest in this? she's out of town for another week or so
>>706604833
Where dem titties at
>>706604833
wheres she come back to, maybe i could third
Met a cool ass chick. She's a little on the chubbs side, but I'm willing to look past that.
Fast forward 3 dates in, and she invites me over for dinner. Bitchin'
Problem being, I work stupid early shifts in the morning... like 4AM, she has me over at 8PM.
Things start getting heavy at midnight, clothes off, heavy petting.
She leaves to go use the bathroom, and I fall the fuck asleep on her bed. She nudges me awake, and gives me the ol' "I've gotta work early, you should probably get going."
LOL okay. Texts me on my home after being awake for the previous 21 hours, and tells me she doesn't think I'm into her, and we shouldn't see each other anymore.
LOL okay.
Haven't heard from her since.
>>706604722
Ah, I see your point.
"I can ride my bike with no handlebars. Drummer. DC. XC. Tea. Studying CS and Theoretical Particle Physics. Need a running partner."
I'm a catch.
>>706592518
Well met.
>>706604833
definitely interested. Where are y'all from?
>>706605082
Not a bad bio. What are your pics like? If you're comfortable posting them, do that.
And how many matches have you had and how many have responded? What area do you live in?
>>706587932
Just talk to them. Start with hey. Then just not be a sperg. Ask if they want to meet up and that's it. My friends are fucking retarded and type a shit ton and wonder why they don't get pussy. Send a few words or one at a time and your golden. People are on those sites to meet/fuck. Just make it short and sweet.
>>706604833
>>706604913 - pretty much none
>>706605058 - emm... sure?
>>706605240 - Montreal Area, but she only tinders when out of the province pretty much
>>706597965
she got teh downs?
>>706605481
ah damn, nowhere near me
your girl's hot as fuck. Would definitely do a girl swap if you were in LA
>>706605481
ill see her in kentucky then...
>>706604659
Suck my titties first ahihihihi
>>706605555
Yay first quads lmfao
>>706605341
Only two responded. I don't want to post my pics, but I can assure you that I'm handsome. And even so, I can't really change my appearance so it wouldn't matter.
I used to get literally dozens of matches in 2015 but I was too afraid to talk to them. Left the app for a year, came back, its a ghosttown. I live in Chicago.
>>706605915
>showing skin
kek
>>706605915
Unmatch this chubs
>>706605915
>>706606124
How do you fucks find weeb girls though?
I can land girls pretty easily (Once a week, more if I'm lucky)
But I want someone I can embrace my inner autist with.
>>706597953
>woman
You just can't please em'
>be me join tinder
>talk to girl
>she funny
>tell her thats the second best thing i like in a girl
>she asks whats the first
>MY DICK i reply
For those asking advice keep this in mind. When I'm on tinder, 10 swipes and I might get one match. I jumped on my female co workers tinder to fuck with guys for fun once, 5 swipes, 5 matches. You're not picking them as much as they are picking you so your first message is the most important to stand out amongst a lot of other dudes. Also, I never have any luck when I'm home. I travel a lot for work and that's the only time tinder has worked, don't know if that's a common thing.
>>706606364
Classic
>>706601022
go!
>>706605555
This is fucking gold. god-teir quads
>>706605851
Yeah I have a buddy in Chicago who isn't having a great time on tinder right now eiher :/
I wasn't actually interested in how attractive you are since there's nothing you can do about that. There are things you can do in pics that will turn girls off or on.
1. No selfies, no messy or dirty rooms
2. Your main pic should be just you, clear view of your face, ideally looking away from the camera and not smiling
3. You should have a picture of you in a group of friends, but not too close to any girls in the group. Ideally you are in the center, and you look like you are having fun.
4. You should have a picture that shows you like to do fun stuff. Snowboarding, hiking, whatever.
5. If you have a good body, a shirtless picture is actually a good thing IF it's tasteful, artistic, and not in your fucking bathroom mirror.
6. Take a picture with a dog. Doesn't even matter if it's yours. Just do it.
7. A picture that shows you have a sense of humor is good too.
1-6 are based on actual research.
>>706606294
I have the same problem, I wish I could find a weeb girl
>>706595812
are you Irish?
>>706606504
Thanks, and they were my first ever quads too lmao
>>706600647
Damn i like that flat chest.
>>706606623
newfag
>>706591555
More pics of girl on right? Looks pretty stacked.
>>706605481
moar plz?
Started using tinder last September. Was a 17 year old virgin. Met a girl and lost my Virginity 3 weeks after getting the app. Kinda sketchy but I was still happy and std free. Then turned 18 in November and met another girl. Fucked around until January when we realised we actually have feelings for each other and I've been in a relationship since. About to turn 19 and Almost 9 months into the relationship and it's going really well.
>>706606591
lol nope. i live here though
>>706606983
Nigger
>download tinder
>get a reasonable amount of matches
>holy shit it's like messaging a dead fish
>one word or disinterested replies despite matches and them super liking in a good 90%
>in that 10% that do not reek of low tide, get enough conversation to know that neither of us is going to rob/rape/murder each other
>4/5 of that 10% either flake last second or never responded after getting asked out
>a handful of awkward dates that went nowhere
jfc, I know I'm not a 10/10, or even a 7/10, and I've had plenty of healthy relationships in the past. I've been out of the dating game for a minute but did I just hit a stream of really shitty individuals? I'm trying not to be bitter, but damn it's a lot to swallow
>>706606985
hot af
>>706606539
I guess I could crop my friends out of my main pic.
>tfw my dog died and all these hoes want is dogs
Sounds more like Chicago itself is dry, though.
>>706606439
wow. okay, this, i guess. next match ill message right away
>>706592751
Is that you catfish man?
>>706607496
not really
she's like a 6 at best
>>706597965
I think u used tinder wrong...
>Be me, madly madly inlove, infatuated etc. freshly dumped at the end of 2012. She said I was fat, loser etc.
>Hear she's been hooking up with heaps of chads which makes it worse.
>Start trainning for dem gainz and gurlz. Still crazy inlove with her. Regaining abit of confidence
>Tinder picks up around mid 2013. Feel abit guilty (like I'm cheating, massive beta and still a delusional loyal) but give it a go.
> Absolutely no matches. Kek ohwell. there goes that self estreem again.
> Mid 2014, gainz are coming in abit better. Rebuilt self esteem abit more
> Decide to give tinder another go. Much more successful now. (Getting like a 1/50 success rate now)
> See ex on tinder. Have a spaz attack/breakdown.
>Few months later think fuck it and goto an escort.
>Get herpes
>Accept my fate. No one wants a fat loser with herpes
I just find it funny now to be honest. Like you could not make this shit up. It's something you hear or read about but yeah. It's surreal. I'm Destined to be a wizard.
Also stay off of dating sites if you're an ugly tosser. You're just in for heart ache.
>>706607612
Meh don't give up yet, my friend isn't all that attractive and he kind of comes off as a fag lol. Also my city, which is relatively large, was absolutely dead a year ago, and now I couldn't swipe through everyone if I tried, and all the girls are active on tinder too. So it goes through ups and downs. I think the changes they implemented recently are going to improve the popularity of the service though
matched with this chic
traded numbers
found out she is desperate for money (which I have plenty of)
I told her I would pay her for sex on a regular basis
she agreed
found out when I met her that she has cerebral palsy, but is still hot af
so I've been fucking a hot chic which cerebral palsy on a regular basis
>>706608228
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
>>706600298
where are you traveling
>>706608311
wheres the pic
>>706607496
Keep em coming, she's cute.
>>706608224
Google Images took a massive shit recently.
Tineye is garbage.
>tfw depend on anons for sauce on fucking everything
>>706607612
Also I would recommend just taking a new pic. Call up a female friend and explain, look your best, go out and do something with her even if it's just grabbing a beer, and have her take a few pics of you. That's what I did and it's worked really well.
>>706608609
>>706608652
No way m8, the picture I have is the best picture of me I have ever seen. I'll never get a better picture of me.
>>706608615
>Be you
>Lurk moar
>>706608771
oh so hot, congratz
>>706605481
Man does she ever go to Ottawa?
>>706608964
Well then make sure you don't end up with a low-res, zoomed in picture if you crop it.
Also keep in mind that if you look different in your other pictures, that's gonna discourage girls from talking to you. And if a girl goes on a date with you expecting you to look different than you actually do, that's not gonna help you either.
>>706587114
>"girl" using pic of well known model
>interest is piqcued
>set up meet
>no one comes
I really don't know what I was expecting. I was curious what sort of person sets up those obviously fake profiles, and what they get out of it.
But more recently
>pretty girl, solid 8/10
>seems cool and DTF
>set up meet at a bar
>she shows up but brings a friend just in case I'm crazy
>friend immediately gets shitfaced and leaves with some Chad
>I get a BJ in my car
>now I have a fuck buddy
>>706608964
Oh and try bumble and other dating shit too in case something else has taken over from tinder in chicago.
There isn't much to tell really, this guy kinda made me feel like all tinder dates were the same.
So this dude comes over, we chill out and talk for ages, I say I'm 'tired' and he asks if I want a cuddle buddy and I smile, flick my hair back and nod.
Anyway we talk some more and he just jams his lips onto mine, I expected sex, what i didn't expect that for him to chip a tooth on my teeth ffs.
I would write a long story about what the sex was like but it ended as quickly as this sentence. He said "thanks bro." (I'm a chick) and we hung out some more s if nothing was wrong even though I was dying inside and wanted him to leave
I met the girl I'm currently going out with on Tinder.
Went out three times and on the third time we did it.
Went pretty smoothly.
Other times I pretty much beta'd out.
>>706609565
Will do, thank you anon.
>>706609300
loooool OP here, I'm from ottawa.
>>706608311
you mean you've spent money on damaged good
>>706609925
yes and it was worth it, cuz that pussy tastes so good. even though she has a handicap, its hard to tell. she is legit about needing money, so its for a good cause.
>>706607450
Same for me
>>706609790
Ah shit fam. I thought you meant montreal lol. Would you be down for sharing your girl in the city? lol
PSA any tindering girls in this thread: Do not misrepresent your weight or in general try to hide any feature that you think guys might find unappealing. Present yourself well but accurately. Having more 'polarizing' features will actually increase the number of guys who will want to contact you because the ones who don't mind that feature will imagine they don't have as much competition.
Also, you want guys to be attracted to you as you actually are. If I go on a date with a girl and she looks significantly different from her pics, not only is she less likely to be to my taste based on her appearance, but I'll feel like I've been lied to and won't go on another date with her even if I do like how she actually looks.
>>706609580
in hindsight i shoulda green text this. Ah wel story number 2.
>Met with friend from tinder.
>got wasted
>he had a bit of trouble getting it up
>when it was up sex was amazing
>I gave a lot of head though, not complaining
>I can't even remember how many hours
>he did this pretty hot thing where, when he was on the phone to a mutual friend of ours to pick him up he tried his hardest to make me yelp, going for the gspot. I did yelp but it was muffled.
>>706610295
Also worth noting: people like different things, and if you're a bit chubby or something plenty of guys like that, and those are the guys you want to attract, not guys who would prefer a skinny girl.
>>706610165
no, OP of thread, not the cuck guy. sorry dude. why don't you just go to montreal, it's like 40 bucks.
>>706609766
No problem, good luck
>>706610295
eh, my profile says im a fatty and i don't seem to have an issue, i even get guys saying I'm not eveen ft so w/e. Putting up photos isn't about tricking men in to dating us chubs it's about us feeling beautiful enough to put up a photo in the first place because of fat hate etc.
>>706603625
Oooh, i miss my mk2
> Marriage is falling apart
> Wife and I decide to call it quits
> Download Tinder to try and get a quick hookup
> Swiping through people
> Recognize a face
> Look at the name
> Holy shit it's my high school freshman girlfriend
> Swipe right
> Match
> She didn't recognize me at first, I had changed a lot since HS
> Her family moved a few states away half way though the school year
> Hadn't seen her since then
> Talked for a while
> Stopped talking for like 2 months
> Talked again, and went over her house
> Had some of the best sex I've ever had
> Hot, sweaty, animal sex
> We're still together and have a baby on the way
> I've never been happier
>>706610956
pic?
>>706610803
It's good that you say that on your profile. Keep in mind though that it's important to accurately represent your body just like it's important to include a clear picture of your face. I'm a bit of a chubby chaser but if I can't tell whether a girl is a pear or an apple I will swipe left, even if she has a cute face.
>>706611090
I've posted some nudes on here before and some white knight faggot who knew her and ratted me out.
>>706610602
Ah, sorry for the mix up.
True, but he said she only hooks up when shes outa town right
>>706610803
And I hope I didn't make it sound like I was angry at fatties for doing it, I completely understand. It's just that it makes no sense for anyone involved, including you, the guy who goes on a date with you, and the guy who would have but swiped left bc he didn't know what you really looked like.
>>706611478
Body type? oh mom bod haha. I do have to update my pictures anyway so I will keep this in mind :) even if it's just one picture haha
>>706611563
ah thats a damn fucking shame. fucking white knight faggots
>>706612082
Mom bods are hot :)
>>706612049
No i wasn't pointing any fingers but it does happen. I have a fairly striking face, high cheek bones, grey/blue eyes, lips that are nearly as juicy as Lana Del Rey, white/blonde hair down to my ass so I get why I get a lot of attention on there, representing myself a bit better is super sound advice.
i get matched all the time but no one responds ever. which is weird to be because in real life i have no problems.
>>706587114
>swipe left on everyone
>never see anything interesting
>be lonely
god I hate socializing
>>706612839
aw shit i guess i have shit pictures
>>706612701
micropenis?
>>706613268
Fapping feels better
>>706613109
If you have female friends, don't be embarrassed to ask them to take some pictures for you. Just make sure that it's in an interesting context, i.e. not your room.
>>706597965
hahahaha
just matched with this lady wat do
>>706600647
i have bad news for you
>>706614008
run, run fast
>>706614008
Compliment her on her realistic skeleton costume
>>706614151
>>706614008
She would probably be a great fuck. She knows it won't break.
>>706613109
From a chicks point of view I'll make a list of things to avoid.
1. Don't take pictures pulling the middle finger, it might be a nice pic of your face but it comes off a a "Fuck you."
2. Don't take pictures with your sister/cousin, Sometimes a hot dude next to a hot chick makes it look like you're cheating
3. I don't wanna spend my time deducting people out of six group shots to pick you out. one picture with a group of friend is fine.
4. Cuddly pets is a go. do that.
5. Babies I don't mind so much, I have one but that depends on the girl
6. too many snowboarding/fishing/hunting pictures makes me feel like I can't keep up with your adrenaline junkie lifestyle.
7. Those awkward, below the jawline, you looking down at the camera pics make me feel like my body parts are going to be found miles and decades apart.
7. Get a good haircut and wear some good clothes for at least one of them, we don't care if you look scruffy we just gotta know you clean up well.
>>706615336
>>706615396
this dude fucked up but still kek-worthy
>>706615396
lol
Any one get bored and just crank the age limit thing to almost ten years above yours?
I'm 23 and just set it to 33.
Two minutes of swiping and I found an older woman in an open marriage that just wants to bang.
Who else has tried this
>>706615613
lel what should I have done?
>>706597965
Congrats!
>>706615729
Well now I'm about to, lol
>>706615822
not make a Cosby joke as your opener
>>706614800
Thanks, this is very useful. How do you feel about pics with a cat?
>>706587114
Met one girl on tinder. Looked disinterested from the word go.
>>706616062
I also have a cat. She's evil looking though so I don't bother haha
>>706616025
Oh, yeah, I test out a lot of high risk openers when I'm iffy on the girl. If it fucks up, I get a laugh, and if she likes it, I know she at least has my kind of humor. In retrospect though rape jokes are probably a good thing to avoid on tinder...
>>706616350
i get the risky opener, but rape jokes are probably not the best opener when trying to get women to meet a stranger off the internet
>>706616524
Yup point taken. Sometimes it amazes me that women are willing to fuck me...
>>706590145
It's what happens after a fart if youre really unlucky.
everyone here is using tinder wrong. You don't shoot for the 9 and 10/10s on tinder. You're not looking to wife a bitch you met on tinder. Go to a library or bar for that shit. On tinder you're just trying to get into a wet hole. Swipe right on that chubster, swipe right on that goth chick, swipe right on that chick with a fat ass and horrible cleft lip. It all feels the same and looks the same with the lights off.
>>706605481
Zut alors!
>>706616861
this may or may not be wet
>>706596506
I probably would have given it a chance.
>>706617200
Actually laughed out loud
Met up and I was too drunk/ high to fuck, I flew back home two days later and have regretted it ever since
>>706616861
Why not both?
>>706600875
pic?
>>706617200
when I was still in undergrad at a lovely college(ranked number 6th easiest school to get laid at in the country), me and my buddies would play tinder bingo. Winner of the week would get $250, if no one won that week it would double on to the next week. 45+ was always the hardest to get, I would have fucked that bitch so fast.
>yes, we bulk ordered condoms
>yes, 3 out of the 5 guys playings got STDs with in the first month of the game
>>706617379
shit never realised her snapchat wa there hahaha
>>706617200
jesus fucking christ
>>706604441
waste
>>706617817
I want to be friends with you. I need you fam
>>706606294
cons, they love to glomp, glomp them back and have a cringey future... or check out /cgl/ or /a/
>>706618003
why?
>>706591555
>>706595812
>>706598212
>>706600336
>>706600499
You Sir, deserve a knighthood. Take note. This is how you deal with women.
>>706617817
That sounds disgusting and extremely fun
>>706617200
God I wish I could find a cougar on tinder. All the girls are in their 20s or 30s at most.
>>706618195
I no longer have pictures but we had a huge white board in our living room that was the bingo board and we each had multiple magnets with our faces on them that we moved to each square we covered. It was a campus of 35,000. With the town already being 40,000. It wasn't much to pull atleast 10-20 likes a day. You narrow down the squares you need to win. Chubster was the free space. some of the best squares were, "get girl to buy you cookout before you fuck", "local", "golden shower", "calls you daddy", or "she fell in love".
>>706618227
>wishma
potential for a much better opening joke
>>706618836
amazing
>>706604411
clearly you don't know how this works newfag
>>706612397
please post a few pics!! even anonymous ones you sound incredible
>>706620501
no way im tryin to hop in that!
>>706592344
Be a fuckboi, the only reason they're hated is because they get laid and betas are just jelly.
>>706608224
Kek
>>706620782
I don't think you understand how funny this is
>>706621050
what should i say to her im 25 shes 56
>>706614800
im going bald. getting a haircut is out of the question, what would you prefer I do? Also I'm hairy as fuck.
>>706621254
I really like your skeleton costume
>>706617379
>Hasn't even matched her
I smell bs
>>706615396
TOP FUCKING KEK
Got a pretty autism story for you fags
>be me
>match girl, few years younger, finished college with no uni plans.
>eh she looks alright
>go to meet her
>15 minutes before we meet get a text "btw I'm ugly irl"
>think to myself "oh fucking fantastic" then pray that she's being melodramatic
>send her a text "I'm sure you're not". Please let her just be melodramatic.
>she arrives. Jfc she wasn't kidding.
>one of those girls who uses instagram filters and weird camera angles to make herself look better than she really is.
>too beta/nice to just walk away and say "fuck this", actually go on date with her.
>throughout the date she is constantly putting herself down. Maybe it's bad anxiety or maybe she is fishing for attention. Idk. Either way it's pretty shitty date conversation.
>she occasionally makes me laugh but she's already crossed a lot of things on my red flag list.
>near end of date, she asks me if I want to see her again.
>again I'm too beta/nice to say no. Figure it can't hurt to give her another chance
>what a dumb shit I was
>by second date she is pretty much already falling for me and I'm just awkwardly trying to brush it off.
>second date is the most awkward thing ever. She was round mine. Think she wanted me to sleep with her. Kept asking me to sit with her on the bed.
>DONOTWANT.jpg
>I walk her home. Wait a few hours. Then send her a text saying its not gonna work out.
>she bitches at me about how I should've been honest to her from the start.
>tbh she kinda put me on the spot and who the fuck falls for someone after one date.
>offered to be her friend but she wasn't having it
>and nothing of value was lost that day.
>from then on I am skeptical about who I swipe right for on tinder.
>be me
>forever alone
>let's use this shit tinder
>after like 3 weeks few matches n shit
>no real meet up yet
>match this qt3.14
>gives me her number
>go on date three consistant times
>take her my place
>have sex
>I am a fucking loser
>fall in love with her
>tell her I fucking love you
>realise how big of an idiot I am
>she stops texting back
>she breaks up with me
>can't stop thinkin about her
>fucking tinder
Yes, I am beta. fuck you.
>>706623789
I never got the whole shame yourself for being a beta thing, your not good with chicks, you're going to suck at this shit, don't beat yourself up and just keep swiming
>>706624028
Thanks fam. I am actually thinking downloading and installing Tinder again now.
>>706622889
You actually sound like a decent human being, props for not being a cunt to her
>>706597965
Tinder stories not grindr stories.
>>706622889
Any pics?
How can someone look good on photos just because angle and filter? But ugly irl??
Here's my Tinder lads.
>>706625212
if you have that as your main pic but actually have real pics you might find someone decent actually
>>706625212
I can see an instant ban from all the butthurt liberal sluts who wants to tinder their god given purity to niggers, kikes, sandniggers, and the likes.
Make america great again.
Make america white again.
>>706625358
Nah, it's a gag account I made for fun
>>706625475
They already tried banning me once kek
>>706624270
no worries, trick is to identify when you're with a cunty chick and when you're being an autist, if it keeps happening over and over again it's probably something your doing.
I'm not even like a pussy slayer, I can just get laid if I try hard enuf.
>>706597965
Shit, that sad fuck looks like me. I feel sorry for em
>>706625212
Here it is in all its glory
>>706625212
>>706625861
Kek. I matched with Steve Buscemi once. It made my day.
>>706617488
>>706625861
Nice, I get some pretty buttblasted girls sometimes
>>706601492
Probably photos of someone else.
>>706626069
shes hot
>>706625861
this shit is awesome, gotten any matches?
>>706626630
I have over 70 right now, it usually depends. Sometime I get 6 or 7 and some days I'll get like 2. Some are buttblasted libs while others are genuine supporters.
>>706611637
Lol Ottawa here too. Small internet apparently.
I've banged this chick twice. I met her off Tinder at like 1.00am. She wanted to hang out. I didn't know anything about her except that she lived with her sister. I show up and we sit on the couch talking for like five minutes before she starts moving in and grabbing me and stuff. I'm not hot or anything, she was just really horny. I banged her on the couch, which was uncomfortable and awkward for a while. But when she took over and got on top it was absolutely the best experience of my life. She had a really great rhythm and her boobs are fucking great. I jizzed in like 30 seconds, but she was cool with it. She told me I could stay over that night, which I did.
I kept her number and texted her to hang out a few more times. She mostly ignored me until like three weeks later where she brought me over again. I'm like 90% sure she's just banging a bunch of different guys and just keeps me hanging around as backup.
She's a stripper in Melbourne Australia. Works at Kittens. Her sister is as hot as she it.
>>706624270
Tindering after a couple drinks is a good way to do it. You don't really know these chicks, let loose, say stupid shit that might be funnny. Find your groove.
