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Well, I decided to kill myself /b/. How should I do it?

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Well, I decided to kill myself /b/. How should I do it?
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>>674484360
By old age
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You think you're a fuckin badass huh, tell ya what. I'd beat the livin shit outta you kid. You ain't got shit on me. One time I went to a Planet Fitness and just fucked up every fatass in sight, and that was just for fun. One time, I was walkin down the street, and I punched some bitch right then and there. I took her purse too, old ass bitch ain't getting any social security now. Did I mention I'm a general in the Navy Seal Army? Anyway, if you still think your tough shit, let me know. I'll be the guy cummin on your girls face. Cause I'm just that badass. Oh, and before you sign your death wish, I bench 1,000kg for 600 reps. Come at me bro.
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Go die in some obscure lake.

Leave clues on how to find your body. Make it an easter egg hunt for the authorities.
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>>674484490
Fuck that. I want to be happy. They told me that it gets better but holy fuck I've been waiting more than a decade. I just want a way out of this endless pit of misery.
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>>674484360
Suicide is not an option, Jesus dude, YOU'RE 15. Everyone wants to kill themselves when they're teens, and it can change really fast for the good if you give it a chance.
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>>674484991
Depression is a brain ailment.

Life doesn't get better or easier. You just need to train your brain to be happier.
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>>674484991
>I want to be happy.
That will be impossible if you are dead.
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>>674484991
Well see now it looks like you're questioning it and want us to convince you not to do it. You came to the wrong place buddy. Stream it now or gtfo
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>>674484360
Dont! Unless you decent from cotton pickers and your skin is the wrong color
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>>674485532
Good man
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>>674484360
Get a S&W 500, nickle plated, and then get a single hollow-point gold plated, explosive tip .40 bullet, and put it under your jaw so it lines up as close to the back of the brain, and pull the trigger. Easy, but messy death.
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>>674478031
Get in here /b/tards. The cancer infesting this thread must be contained with spiderman.
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rope is effective, however if you want it to hurt less, work with a drop so that it breaks your neck instead of strangling you

bullets are also pretty effective , but you want to destroy the brain stem, otherwise you will be a cripple for the rest of your life
Pic related
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>>674484360
use an exit bag. Quick, painless, no mess, no more faggots who have no understanding of your life saying "DUNT DU IT ANONM UUU HAB EBERY REZUN TUH LIVE!"
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>>674484360
Inject anti freeze into your neck
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>>674485262
Shouldnt Noradrenaline and Adrenalin be turned around?
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>>674484360
>How should I do it?

by dying
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>>674485214
>>674484490
I hear reddit is nice this time of year, why don't you go back?
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>>674486596
Carbon monoxide
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>>674486506
>exit bag
there is a shortage of helium in the world.
when OP fucks off to vallhalla, I still want to have a nice planet.
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>>674487727
Fuck that shit ani freeze to the dome
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>>674484360
Dead yet?
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>>674487994
Will be on March 30. I just need to finish a couple of things before hand.
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>>674488232
Why are you ending it though?
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If you're gonna kill yourself, you've gotta take extra precautions to make sure you do it right and don't fuck up. You could always go like Hitler, taking a poison pill then for extra measures a shot to the head will do. You definitely don't wanna shoot yourself in the jaw or the temple then survive it
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Do it on April Fools.

>leave note
>drown self in pool
>leave 2nd note next to pool saying "hahaha April Fools!"
>people won't know whether to laugh or freak out
>be remembered every April 1st
>??????
>profit
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>>674488592
Everyone I talk to or look at have this sense of accomplishment and happiness to them. I on the other hand have none of that. My past motivation was the more sacrifices I make now the more I get to enjoy in the future. I missed out on so many wonderful opportunities to be be happy and it hurts when I think about them. I had set goals and chased after them but I am not even sure if I want them anymore. In the pursuit of them, I became so blind to everything around me that I just feel empty. I feel no joy, an never ending sense of tiredness. Nothing seems to work. Recently, I thought I had a way out of this misery and I put some much hope into it. But it fell through. I just don't see a way out of this. I know suicide just transfers the pain but I just feel so miserable. I just want a way out.
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>>674484360
Dude, if you want to die you should do it in a bada way. Like train with a bad ass samurai sword and several different kinds of firearms and go out by slicing and shooting the fuck out of an isis lair. I don't know get creative if you really lost the will to live.
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>>674489830
fuck off, weeb
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>>674484360
fag wont do it
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Careful not to fastest for it
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>>674484360
Step 1. Go to a Bernie Sanders rally.
Step 2. Get Sanders to take a question from you.
Step 3. Yell out, I'm feeling the bern
Step 4. Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.
Step 5. Profit.
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>>674484360
So you want to die huh OP? Well the world is your oyster go somewhere you'd never think you would go. You get killed or mamed on this adventure of a lifetime? Well you wanted to die in this first place.
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>>674489578
Ok. Normally i want people to kill their self but c'mon it will get better just chill take some anti depression pills or some shit. Honestly it gets better. ps are you black?
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Suicide? Ask yourself this question : Am I ready to do some extreme stuff before I die? If yes then I guess you wanna suicide....... go rob a bank? Try drugs?? Steal some shit? Fuck a hoe?
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>>674486324
Don't use bullets. My cousin tried to kill himself and shot himself more towards the front of the brain. He felt everything and was paralyzed. My family had to sit through a week and a half of deciding when to pull the plug. Just do something quick and something that doesn't leave a mess for your family/police. Be considerate.
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>>674484360
Try carbon monoxide. I've been meaning to do it but I'm broke. I can't even afford my own painless suicide.
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>>674489929
You have no class bitch. I'd fucking go out in a blaze killing scum bags. Your a just jealous that OPs death could be honorable and savage as fuck.
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>>674490440
if you destroy the brain stem you will be dead before you hit the ground.
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>>674490489
No nigga you're just a fucking weeb kek XD
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>>674490473
Rope, Bridge and bricks attached to your feet and go for a swim
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>>674490735
I've almost drowned before. Not a sensation I'd like to have again.
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>>674484490
Shoot up a school, Columbine style, Its the dream .
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>>674490489
>honorable
what is honorable in getting shot while trying to bum-rush a goat-fucker with a shitty, made-in-china replica katana.
and that is assuming that they don't easily overpower your neckbeard ass and burn you alive
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Ask your dog to give you anal
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>>674490940
But you die though, JUST DO IT.
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>>674489578
OP you're depressed. And that's okay. Breathe. Do it again. In and out. Make a plan to speak to a psychiatrist. There are resources out there for you. You can't fully appreciate the sunlight without a little darkness. Maybe the opportunities that will come down the road will be better, maybe they won't. But if you don't stick around to find out, you'll never know.
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>>674490324
No, I am not black.
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Reeeee get of 4Chan normie!!
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>>674490725
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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>>674484360
long drop hanging

like 10 feet and the right noose will rip your head off your body

google it
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>>674491116
Too much of a pussy for the struggle/pain.
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>>674491149
e>>674490325
>>674490314
>>674486496
>>674485532
>>674484490
normies get out
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>>674491152
Dont kill yourself then. Stay white
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>>674491087
The part where you literally are using years of training and suffrage to fuel your ungodly reign of destruction down upon the cancer of this planet. It's like you don't even care about OPs honor
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>>674491846
/thread
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>>674484360
You've got to meet people. It's never too late to be a happy mofo. Do what you want to do in life, who the fuck cares what other people say, you're you. You shouldn't have to live like others, we're all on our own paths in life. I've got depression but I know that suicide is not an option. That's because I have to get out there and try to meet people. I have social anxiety so it's difficult but I have to get by. You've gotta be optimistic about the next things in life. Suicide is not an answer to solve your problems.
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>>674491513
I feel you, if you're white stay alive if you are wrong color like example the color of shit END IT
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>>674491087
And obviously in those years of training you forge your own sword infused with the ashes of your ancestors, enemies, along with your own blood and tears. How is it that i even have to explain this.
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>>674492232
telling someone who has decided to kill themselves shit they have already tried is pointless. GTFO NORMIES
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>>674484360

Step 1: Learn Ukrainian and Russian
Step 2: Acquire necessary documentation and fly to Russia.
Step 3: Become a Novorossiyan Warrior
Step 4: Command the infamous War Tractor
Step 5: Realize that your military equipment is inferior
Step 6: Profit
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>>674491934
>ungodly reign of destruction down upon the cancer of this planet
here is what is going to happen if OP tries to attack an ISIS compound.

>OP goes to syria
>If ISIS people think OP is a budding recruit, they will allow him in, if not, OP is captured and dies a painful death
>once ISIS people allow OP into their compond and OP pulls out the ninja sword, ISIS will either shoot OP or capture him and kill him painfully.
there is no way OP would even hurt a member of ISIS
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>>674492355
Oh I'm also not white. At least I'm not black though. Or brown.
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>>674492578
Ye of little faith. Thou dost protest too much indeed.

By the time OP finishes his training montage he will realize there is no spoon giving him the ability to take down his enemies lair single handedly. After realizing he is the one he will return to his propulsion which time he will an hero on a live stream feed.
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>>674493406
Return to his people upon which time*
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>>674493130
You're good in my books then
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>>674484360
Dude dont kill yourself just do some weed or lsd shrooms are also nice just dont kill yourself drugs will make the pain go away trust me
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>>674489578
>Recently, I thought I had a way out of this misery and I put some much hope into it. But it fell through. I just don't see a way out of this. I know suicide just transfers the pain but I just feel so miserable. I just want a way out.
let me guess
you met a girl
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Don't do it dude start a new life
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>>674494079
Re roll
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>>674494136
Again
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>>674484360
by walking to Juno Alaska
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>>674494184
Come on dubs
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>>674494303
Jesus I'm trying to save a life grant me dubs!
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>>674494303
Jesus I'm trying to save a life grant me dubs!>>674494405
God maybe?
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>>674494497
Now?
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If you cut your carotid artery with a razor it only takes a matter of seconds to bleed out.
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>>674489525
This
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>>674494588
Done it saved your life
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>>674494588
Nice dubs
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>>674494700
Lol double saved
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>>674494700
Checked
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Go back in time and push your mother down some stairs.
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>>674494588
life saved

>because I'm sure the faggot was actually going to do anything at all
Thread replies: 87
Thread images: 11


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