Waifu claiming thread. Previous: >>712559587 >Claim
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Waifu claiming thread.
Previous: >>712559587
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>This is not /b/, this is /mai/
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>PLS don't ban me m000dz
>3D is almost always trash
>Only retards use elitism as an insult
>Most importantly, have fun!
>>712576563
>>712576563
Paul the Ball
Claim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN2Z2wPhFZk
well Yui ran off, Akame went to bed and I guess Houki went somewhere else for the time being
......I think I'm gonna go to bed.
Night everyone!
Hello again everyone
>no life
>Juvia claimed
>>712576210
Kek.
Tell me another and you'll get your hard earned lewds
I praise Haruhi the one and only true god. There is no god but Haruhi and Nagaru Tanigawa is Her prophet.
>Thou shalt have no other god other than her.
>Thou shalt obey Haruhi and all she demands.
>Thou shalt be Haruhi's slave.
Interesting thread.
Post bunny waifus.
Faces of Waifu
>>712576966
I don't have one
>>712576794
What did Hitler get his niece for her birthday?
An easy-bake oven!
God, I'm terrible.
>>712576761
P O S T
O
S
T
Why does this fat virgin have a basketball in the woods? I know you've never played sports before but you can't play basketball in the fucking woods you autist
>>712577041
I'm not on there
>>712576966
Claimu
>faces of Waifu
>>712577302
>You don't have a 7 inch dick, then.
And I got my hopes up and everything..
>>712576966
Posers
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
ACTUAL WAIFU CLAIMER
>>712577434
Whatever you say.
It's really not that big of a deal.
>>712577549
Filename game on point!
>>712577575
Small dick Virgin confirmed, how will you please your cartoon wife fag?
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>712577575
It is to me.
But sure, go ahead blueball me like that.
You're just like the others
How can one make claims if they're not going to back them up?
Hey shitposter I hope you save a photo of my ass too.
>>712577673
>how will you please your cartoon wife fag?
Well, obviously I can't, because she doesn't exist.
>>712577802
I really don't care.
>>712577814
>asswarts visible
PUKE
>>712577183
Hi Mai.
>>712576926
Hi Kirino
>>712576815
Praise be to Haruhi
>>712576794
Sup Juvia
Sorry if I missed anyone that I have met. You can call me a faggot for payback.
>>712576966
You mean like this?
>>712577814
That's your fat virgin man titties
>>712577894
You're still responding.
>>712576563
>>712576646
>>712576684
>>712576713
>>712576740
>>712576758
>>712576768
>>712576794
>>712576815
>>712576926
>>712576966
>>712577149
>>712577183
>>712577224
>>712577302
>>712577434
>>712577452
>>712577549
>>712577575
>>712577605
>>712577849
>>712577894
>>712577924
>>712577930
when someone posts a fucking anime picture i always imagine some sad fucking smelly faggot with empty mcdonalds bags/cups all over his floor waiting for someone to reply to his obscure and totally exchangable piece of inferior manga bullshit he posted. i tried watching it and its for total pussies what the fuck crying and talking about love and fucking honour just fuck off please nobody thinks its funny
>>712576966
Close enough?
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
>>DELETE THESE THREADS
>>WORST THREADS ON /B/
>TSUNAMI THESE THREADS
How does it feel to be the cringiest threads on 4chan?
>>712578186
Pretty good tbh
>>712578084
>i tried watching it and its for total pussies what the fuck crying and talking about love and fucking honour just fuck off please nobody thinks its funny
What?
>>712578053
I was saying that I didn't care that you were getting blue balled or whatever.
I don't want to be rude.
>>712578084
You're completely accurate. Look at this Virgin I screen capped from the last thread
>>712576966
>>712578084
DELET THIS
>>712578418
That's awfully lewd
>>712578296
>I don't want to be rude
>is rude as fuck
ok.
I'll come to you again when I need my internet feelings hurt.
>I'm 7 inches
>>712578418
STOP
>>712577452
I will have to eliminate you from this, otherwise you would win by default.
>>712577183
>>712578112
>>712578162
Pretty good.
>>712577953
That works too.
>>712578569
I was talking about not being rude by replying.
Bye.
>all these bun posting
>>712577149
KEK
You've earned your lewds
>
>>712577924
Hello. How are you?
>>712578769
>>712578661
I'll play fair
>>712578769
So I get home after work. No ones home. Go aroind the back. Tiny lil skink at the back door. Wew.
>>712578769
Claiming Yuuko.
>>712578840
Hey, that's pretty good
>>712578840
>three hands
Kuroko Get!
>>lewd
Sorry, this is honestly the most clothes she's wearing in any pic I have of her.
>>712579035
>flop
>>712578943
I think that's still good enough to win.
>>712578840
Saved t b h.
>>712578832
Hi, I am pretty good, got out of work an hour early so pretty happy, might try to go to sleep at a decent time tonight. Dunno, I'll see what happens.
>>712578968
Skink as in the small lizard, or did you misspell skunk? Either way, what do?
>>712579058
Sup
>>712578900
>>712579035
Rip
>>712578943
STOP IT
>>712579317
Let's not
>>712579390
But every post I make is a bun post
>>712579340
Drinking apple cider.
You?
>>712578661
Good, i find the actual bunny Nuis to not be very good in art quality.
>>712579317
Lingerie is so sexy.
>>712577924
Oh, hey, sorry about the late reply.
Was playing Runescape with Alice.
How are you?
>>712579340
Tiny lizard. He gone now. I wanted a lil buddy.
>>712579390
>
>>712579340
Yeah same. Hopefully i can get to bed at a descent time for once. Even though i don't mind staying up either so we'll see.
>>712579390
Also hello smugs
Feels good having a job and gf and not being a pathetic weaboo virgin pretending to be married to a cartoon character who wouldn't even go near them if they were real
What do y'all vape?
>>712580043
kys
best girl
>>712580196
>>712579567
Warm? With cinnamon? Or just cold?
Warm apple cider with a touch of nutmeg and cinnamon (maybe also a touch of alcohol) could trump any other winter drink.
>>712579619
I have two pet Eastern Fence Lizards. Have had them for a few years, suprising as they were wild.
>>712579770
Hope it is a fun thread.
>>712580043
What do I look like, a hipster?
>>712580190
Nighty night.
>>712579906
>Having a job
Most of us do.
Also Shitposting isn't considered a job.
>Having a gf
Disgusting
>
>>712579494
Why must you trigger me
>>712579619
Oh?
>>712579770
Hello juvia
>>712580190
Night
>>712579906
You know what else feels good?
Touching myself to cartoon girls.
>>712580328
I didnt get a good look at this guy. But it was small and a dark grey. Any number of local skink.
>>712580478
You should still be facing your bun problems. Leap forwards and hop over the obstacles.
>>712577541
>>712577235
>>712577153
>>712577041
>>712577814
>>712578186
>>712578364
>>712578840
So you should attach faces to tripfags for me so I know who to laugh my fucking ass off at for that shit-tier dress choice.
Also, fucking shave your god damn beards. And get rid of that afro. You're not a nigger, they only look good on niggers.
>>712580043
>That sleeve
>That horribly unhealthy wood
>those ingrown fingernails
>Alien Piss
>That stolen pen from an office
looks like threads have been shit all day
what happened?
>>712580758
Hi konata, how are you this evening?
>>712580758
>Implying threads aren't always shit
>>712580876
good I just had pizza :o
>>712580883
waifu is dead ._.
>>712580758
Greetings!
Weebs weebs go away come again some other day, 2d girl are not real, please please go away.
>>712580293
Wew
Nice lewd
>>712580328
Yeah i hope so too, hopefully the shitposters stop soon.
>>712580478
How are you tonight smugs?
>>712580758
Oh Konata-sama you're here
>
Also i don't know i just got here
>>712581038
Pardon me, nigger? I own one of these.
>>712581000
how did the dentist go? :o
>>712581123
yeah I haven't been on all day really
how you doing, love?
>>712580734
>implying I'm not at work at my office
Not everyone is a virgin claiming a cartoon as their wife. Nice damage control
>>712580982
(Insert copypasta quote here)
>>712577953
That's actually mine.
>>712581377
while a few of my posts have been made into pasta, they don't change the fact that waifu has gone to shit :o
>>712580642
I already did though
>>712581123
Doing fine. Playing arkham knight. You?
>>712581301
Better than usual, despite being a bit late and very tired so that's good,
Do anything fun today?
>>712581125
Those are pretty scary tbh. Wouldn't leave on the other side of the bed with me.
>>712581123
Yea they have been a little more active today. They should get bored eventually.
>>712581308
Whatchu do?
>>712580982
What kind of pizza?
Faggot weaboos pretending to date a cartoon
>>712581749
Nonsense, you lie like always!
>>712581793
>Implying it was never not shit
>>712581308
>Incorrectly assuming I was one of the shitposters
>Incorrectly assuming I hadn't just walked into the thread and jumped in, instead of being here prior
Anyway
>That second bottle of vape
>That vape itself
>Internet Explorer
I mean can't you make them put a decent browser on your work computer
>VLC
Makes up for it a bit
>Wireless Mouse
Ya blew it
>>712581956
Monitor an offshore facility and liquified natural gas tanks, 84 hours a week.
>>712582000
Ever*
>>712581957
>bothered and threatened by faggot weaboos pretending to date cartoons
>>712581957
>Faggot loser that spends his day trying to rustle some weebs' jimmies
>>712582000
but waifu used to be good before newfags :o
>>712581956
sausage ^-^
>>712581843
ate pizza and played games with a friend i made
and good job on your teeth
>>712581301
Doing even better now that you're here senpai, how about you?
>>712581807
Oh you know just being lewd and being a no life, no work this week though so that's good.
>>712581956
It's just something we have to deal with but like you said they'll get bored eventually and move on to another thread
>>712582101
Virgin confirmed Kek, go get some pussy telling a girl you shouldn't use internet explorer and all of these other arbitrary autistic criticisms that don't mean jack shit to a normal member of society with an actual social life, maybe it matters in the confines of your dark semen encrusted bedroom
>>712582272
I had a really good fap session earlier thaks to gaylol and miku ^-^
been feeling pretty good
>>712581989
It's actually true like always
>>712582238
How new do you have to be to be a newfag? Also are you konata or sachi
>>712581956
Really? I never had a problem with dolls. They don't move of their own accord, and it's my only one, so it's not too horrifying in the dead of night. Besides. The whole point is it gets up and starts moving.
>>712582363
I'll bite, why the fuck not. Have a (you).
>>712582602
6 months is new
and slachi :o
I LOVE ME SOME MATH
>>712582741
I guess i'm a newfag then. I've been here for somewhere between 5 and 6 months
>>712582846
I prefer English since it's the most important subject outside of high school in the real world :o
>>712582912
I've only been here 3 months :o
>>712581125
Lucky!
have you done the Dollho onahole mod on her yet so you can truly consecrate your marriage?
>>712582000
>IMPLYING IT WAS NEVER THOSE DIGITS
>>712582135
That sounds cool. Probably make tons of cash. Right?
>>712582627
I know, in concept it is cute and perfect. But real dolls just give me the heebiejeebies.
>>712582741
Oh am I too new?
I can leave when you are here if you want.
>>712582846
I like history. Especially WW2 to Fall of USSR times.
>>712582999
THOSE DIGITS
>>712582238
That sounds lovely! what did you play?
>>712582523
Your statement is actually a lie to cover up a lie.
>>712582999
So then you're a newfag according to yourself
>>712583123
Nice 123
>>712582627
>>712583098
dolls ftw
>>712582945
>>712583157
ITS FUNNY BECAUSE I'M ASIAN
>>712583157
it's okay I'm new too
>>712583166
nice double singles
>>712583227
we played league of lol it was fun
i usually only play solo but hes nice
>>712583294
no :o
Totori Get
>>712582517
>You wouldn't have to fap if you met my requests
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
>>712583316
I have six RealDolls
>>712583566
I already did tho :o
>>712583429
Make up your mind
>>712583598
Nice
personally, I don't think a western type doll would work for me
Nice big animu eyes help to bridge the uncanny valley effect for me
mine!
>>712583316
>those eyes
Absolutely terrifying
>>712583598
Where do you store them? You should show them.
>>712583670
How so? You didn't even get the hat right kontana-sama
>>712583929
kontana? :o
>>712583745
I love you
mind is made up!
>>712583429
Ah, that's great! how did you meet? irl?
>>712583899
Open your light shades.
>>712583913
>>712583899
I stole them
Anime eyes are creepy.
You wanna see my katana collection?
>>712584053
no we just met in game and we started playing duo
hes in canada :o
>>712583227
It's actually the truest thing.
But I'm gonna go do fun things with Nui in a bit, so goodnight.
>>712584009
Wait, that wasn't the question -_-
>>712584237
Sure why not?
>>712584365
*hugs*
>>712584238
Oh, well it's great to make friends anywhere!
>>712584297
So you admit you lie!
What do you dare imply?
>>712584220
but the light! it buuurns usss!
>>712584009
Is that not your name?
>
>>712584538
DO IT FAGGOT!
>>712584489
I was being ironic
>>712584489
You shouldn't hug strangers
>>712583578
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
>>712584606
>hello juvia
>>712584509
hello nui
>>712584489
hello yui
>>712584237
oh neat a ryuoko
>>712584894
Damn, I have yet to see an actual katana collection.
>>712584912
Why not? Everyone needs hugs sometimes, do they not?
>>712584989
O hai there
>>712584509
I said my statements are the truest thing! That's no lying at all!
And take a guess~ (still a couple minutes before I can join her in bed, gotta stop the oven and let this cheesecake cool in a few)
>>712584989
Well hello there Tali how are you?
>>712585313
Fucking faggot you let them finish then drop the personal experience bomb.
Woke up early and can't sleep anymore
Might as well make the most of it.
Morning everyone
>>712585432
Im new to this
>>712584937
>>712583578
>tfw he was actually autistic enough to type this
>>712584989
Oh neat a NEET
>>712585279
I guess so
*Hugs back*
>>712585340
out fucking standing that's how
>>712585279
how's your night/day going ?
>>712585707
nah just an anime loving semi normie autistic tbh
>tfw senketsu was kill
>>712584989
Greetings! what did you do today?
>>712585334
You're said that my statement was the truest thing though!
Even if it's a phony you should not speak of such things!
>>712585846
Oh? And why's that Tali-sama?
>>712585846
>tfw you wish you are senketsu/junketsu
>>712585958
I was countering your statement by saying mine was true!
My Nui is the genuine Nui! And we're a married couple, such things are implied anyway!
>>712585958
eh work today but now that it's night i have the house to myself
>>712586020
see above but also add in that my wife is currently looking for a girl for us to have a 3 way with and has no interest in other dudes.
>>712586157
>being worn by a busty qt woman
yes
>senketsu>junketsu tho
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
>>712585846
I'm doing pretty good, kinda made some new buds, got out of work an hour early. And I get my paycheck on Thursday. And I am getting more antidepressants tomorrow.
Why are you doing so good? Did you do anything cool like iceskate today?
Its this cringey "Tali" kid again. Jesus Christ, these threads have really gone to shit
>>712586244
But it was implied that you agreed that mine was true, and you lie now so it certainly was!
Nonsense, she's far above your kind! and such things, even if they are implied in some way, are not to be talked about!
>>712586285
Oh, that's pretty nice, what are you going to do? just rest i suppose?
>>712586534
Aren't you australian?
>>712586453
>(you)
>>712586430
that was fun but no see >>712586285
>>712586453
Hi Franku, how are you today?
>>712586644
so are all shitposters m8
>>712586643
yeah take it easy enjoy pizza/monday night football kinda night
>tali
>>712586285
Well that sounds quite nice. I assume you have say in this third person?
>>712586644
Yep
>>712586659
Is the little autistic kid triggered?
>>712586643
But actually we're perfect for each other. None of this "above me" nonsense.
And I see lo reason to avoid the subject. I'm not going around shouting out details.
(this cheesecake really needs to finish baking)
>>712586659
Ah, that's nice. Have fun with the two asses and 4 tits. You should do kinky stuff too.
>>712586320
Hey man. Making fun of autistic people ain't funny. When you call the weeaboos autistic it really hurts the actual autistic people's feelings because they ain't no fucking weeaboo
Pic related is my gf
>>712586686
>>712586659
>>712586644
>>712586643
>>712586534
>>712586320
>>712586157
>>712586020
>>712585661
>>712585432
>>712583899
>>712583503
>>712583166
>>712582550
>>712582200
>>712580362
>>712580196
>>712580190
>>712579614
>>712579317
>>712579061
>>712579035
>>712578900
>>712578638
>>712578569
>>712578418
>>712578372
>>712577814
>>712576768
>>712576758
>>712576740
>>712576713
>>712576563
-hugs-
>>712586887
yeah we both have to approve
@712587032
no (you)
>>712587328
we already have one of those under the bed restraint strap things
>>712587386
*hugs*
whispers in ear
"thank you"
>>712587386
That pic lies
>>712576563
Azuki Taken
>>712587539
My dick lies
In your butt oWo
>>712587386
Thanks! A hug is like sexual contact for me.
>>712587515
YOU should use it.
>>712587652
Did someone say bun?
>>712587652
No -_-
>>712586877
Alright, well hope you enjoy your time alone then.
>>712587176
You call it nonsense, but all you do is speak lies, at least know your place!
Seems like you are though.
(I'm starting to think that's a metaphor)
>>712587386
I have no reason to not trust and hug this person of whom is dressed like Kyubey so i shall do so.
>hugs
>>712587515
>@712587032
>no (you)
http://youtu.be/-1yzoiUIGGs
cut me yuno
>>712587641
I pirated that game.
It was okay. The sound of the dick going in sounded like I was murdering someone with blunt force.
>>712588098
true
Is someone making a thread?
new thread?
>>712587781
this is my new favorite image
>>712588450
Well shit
>>712588431
My favorite image is the of ur dick oWo
I would make a thread but i know as soon as i do someone else will decide to do it
>>712588546
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-sfG8BV8wU
>>712588657
There i did it
>>712588672
