feels thread b i need one right now
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
feels thread b i need one right now
>>712109355
bump
Bumpp
>>712111194
i dont understand this
>>712111315
Dude had a dream about meeting his younger self.
Younger version is disappointed in the older one because things didn't turn out the way the younger one expected them to.
>>712108837
>i need one
What. The. Fuck?
Why on earth would you want a feels thread? What will it do besides bring you down?
>>712112607
Let them know that they aren't the only one with a problem? I don't know. I just kinda feels good to be around sad people when your sad. It's a weird feeling.
>>712112810
I guess that's reasonable.
>>712112607
Not OP but sometimes I get so fucking depressed about something to the point that I can't even cry. I just feel sort of empty. These threads help me cry and relieve some of that sadness.
>>712112944
>>712112810
>>712112607
makes us feel less lonely fam, also gives us a reason to be sad instead of random sadness
>>712113063
Hello r9k
>>712112607
To see that others care. To see that you're not alone and there are people, real, live people as the captcha proves to us willing to take the time to fill it out to tell you that they care, that you ain't alone and never will be. Even those stormfront newfags do this. And sometimes, when you're feeling too happy and you're not used to it, you need to head back down into your cave, and a feels thread helps you with that.
>>712113595
change that to 4:30 and i get it.
It's a disease of the highest order
>>712113595
I get money which I can use to buy rope to hang myself with.
>>712113595
It gives me money to buy my woman pretty things, and Im saving up to invest in my own company.
Im making my way up there, one paycheck at a time. Slowly, but surely.
this one is kinda of feely
>>712114445
Oyasumi Punpun is fucking amazing
>>712114647
it is, but goddam put me down
>>712112635
Lost.
>>712113718
Ha. Jokes on you. Someone told me that a month ago and I ignored it.
>>712113901
Fuck that fucking furfags and all of its shitty emotionally stunted friends
>>712112463
Fuck, that has to be one of the saddest things I've ever seen.
Really got me, anon.
>>712112463
fuck this is my worst nightmare
>>712112463
Daaamn. Like James Bond. Is this actually a real life scene or is it a movie or something?
>>712113901
jesus....
>>712115399
Ugh, he always gets to me.
I looked up to that guy since I was a small child and suddenly he's just gone and I find out he felt the same as me. I even had a dream about him shortly after his death. He was comforting me.
>>712112463
>>712115559
>>712116247
>>712116319
It's one of those things the police and firefighters sponsor before prom to keep drinking and driving deaths down on prom night. It's a scare tactic.
>>712113358
I cried.
>>712112463
i dont get it what is tha-
...
oh...
no...
>>712113348
Holy shit, this is just too fucking deep.
>>712116489
It's called "Every 15 Minutes" in California. It's sponsored by the highway patrol.
>>712112463
CUCKED
U
C
K
E
D
Failing my resit year at school. My awful girlfriend dumped me over a text. I am fucked up and I have trouble communicating. I didn't get my promotion even tho I was a solid candidate. I am sooo tired. It all adds up.
>>712114639
This isn't ylyl.
>>712117076
Right. I don't know what the program is called here, but it was highly ineffective.
>be me
>tail end of 2015
>had girlfriend
>join military after high school
>she sends me letters
>I write back
>call her and talk when I can
>graduate boot camp
>try to call her
>no answer
>call
>voicemail
>call...etc
>leave boot camp
>get cell phone
>learn she has a fiance and is pregnant
>haven't heard from her since receiving her last letter in December
I loved her.
She won't even tell me why.
>>712117246
It's even better if you read it in Johnny Cash's voice.
>>712114639
I'd still fuck it though.
Anyone have a pic of the Ella thread that fits the new file size limit (thanks a lot mook)
>>712117405
Are you me? Because you're right.
His kids published a book of his never before seen poems before a couple days ago. I'm going to pick it up in the morning. I hear it's good.
>>712117419
The first time I saw that show, I binge watched the whole first season and downed a bottle of whiskey.
Still can't watch it sober...
I am done feeling like suicide.
I hate to live, and I live to hate.
Hate's always been there for me. Why should I abandon hate?
>>712115000
Look at this guy. Getting trips and having people love him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZqkMWGc0js
really recommend watching this
>>712117808
I honestly cant remember the last time I cried. I just cant be bothered.
>>712117665
>>712112463
picture is fake. high school did this as a drunk driving awareness thing or something
My dad broke his neck at the end of May, spent a month in a foreign hospital, first in a coma, then with no voice (tracheotomy breathing tube) and is now paralysed from the chest down. He told me that in the months before his accident, he had felt for the first time in his life like everything was working out for him, and now even though it was an incomplete spinal injury, he's convinced that there's no hope for recovery. I live in a very pessimistic country - when he had his accident he was abroad, and although the doctors didn't have much English, they assured us that he had at least a 30% chance of walking again, and that you can't tell with incomplete SCIs how permanent a disability might be for at least one year. Literally the minute we got back to our own country the first thing they did was to tell him that he had no hope at all, and no matter what progress or improvements he makes, they waste no time in reminding him that moving his legs is totally out of the question.
I'm not really sure what the purpose of my rant here is, to be honest. There's something uniquely heartbreaking about seeing somebody you love living entirely without hope, and even though you actually know for a fact that there IS hope for that person, others have convinced them to give up and they won't listen to you. I'm ok - I'm reading every day about all the things that are coming down the line even if he DOESN'T recover (stem cells, electronic nerve interfaces, walking exoskeletons which are already on the market) and I have to keep this all to myself, because as far as he's concerned, his "always look for the wisp of cloud on the sunniest day" asshole doctor has to be right, even if other doctors, including those who initially treated his injury and performed his neck surgery, have definitively told us the opposite.
>>712117808
The last time that happened to me, I let a friend know the day after and spent the day with him chilling, making food, watching inane shit and smoking weed. It helped being around other people.
>>712118230
[citation needed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DILENcLL9A
>>712118209
Jesus anon, sounds rough. Tell your day some random guy on the internet wishes him well.
>>712118209
You should try to counterbalance that doctor downer and tell your dad about all the alternatives.
Even if the changes can only come in small increments of rehabilitation work, it's still better than the original status.
>>712116668
Huh. Can't find anything reputable on rubatosis. Thought I'd finally found the medical term for that.
>>712118842
I've had rubatosis while having anxiety attacks.
I dunno if people have done research in it, but I can attest to it happening.
>>712118287
Some of aren't as lucky
One, two, three, four, tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights, that was what my youth was for
Old teenage hopes are lying at your door
Left you with nothing, but now they want some more...
Oh, uh oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, uh oh, you know who you are
Sweet heart bitter heart, now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart
Those teenage hopes, who've tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up, to one little lie...
Oh, uh oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, uh oh, you know who you are
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine and ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pYMZKVZ9Ws
Keep going
These threads always give my inspiration to write
>>712117364
I'm sorry friend.
>>712116385
Current situation
Anyone else chosen loneliness and boredom over socialising and all the pain that goes with it?
>>712119265
A female is reading about war and imagining being in it with delight, meanwhile real people, men, are at war killing each other at random.
>>712118287
Being around people makes me feel worse. The only time I am comfortable is when I am alone.
I have everything in this post >>712117188
but I still feel nothing. If anything I feel like I am slowly starting to resent her for not letting me be alone.
>>712119157
Well the only way to get friends is going outside to meet them. Back when I was friendless, I went to places where things that interested me were done in groups. I made friends there.
>>712119448
Choice has nothing to do with it for me.
>>712119114
Oh, yeah, same here, that's why I was trying to look it up - but rubatosis only turns up stuff on shit like urbandictionary.
i really like him, even his nasty toe :(
look at all pathetic unmanly faggots crying. I bet you're all millenial trannies or women.
>>712119570
That's why I feel guilty sometimes, because I know some people dont have a choice (and one day, neither will I). But fuck, man. Other people just make me feel so much worse.
>>712119475
Well I think the pic is more reminiscent of world war II. There were russian female snipers. I've been in a world war I and world war II phase lately... And shit man, it really makes you think and realize the shit that they went through. The comradery and bravery. I look around at my friends and shit, and they could never do the shit our grandparents did.
>Whilst we sit in the back not to be seen
>We see everything that is not to be seen
>Everything that is allowed not, to be seen
>As we look in awe,
>We realize that what we formerly saw,
>Was nothing but an illusion;
>Forged as an institution.
>We see misery in its purest form
>We realize that Janus dwells amongst the >mortal-born
>We realize that Janus dwells, born, inside his >mortal form.
This is loneliness
>>712117364
This is for you, sorry anon. (Fay)
>>712119748
>crying
Good joke mate. I come to these threads and listen to sad music as a way of emulating feelings that I do not have myself.
>>712119771
Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I understand what you mean though.
I used to be Mr. Chad McNormie back in the day, but after shit hit the fan, I became the isolated NEET that I am today. My only advice is to do what you truly want. If being alone is what you want, do that.
>>712119646
I had to deal with it recently because I managed to fuck up my internet connection by defaulting on some bills, it basically set off my fight or flight response. Luckily I know some breathing exercises and other ways to remedy it a bit. It didn't really go away before I got my internet sorted out though.
>>712119845
I agree. Notice the feminist slant to that image though too, maybe she's dreaming of "taking down the patriarchy" by killing men in war, yet she's reaping the benefits as a female not having to fight in war and is able to have the leisure she's having in the pic.
>>712113358
Holy shit. I've never seen this one before.
>>712119448
I'm heading down that road right now tbh, I'd just prefer to be left alone.
>>712118623
I will indeed. I actually think that'll cheer him up, he's always liked my stories about Anonymous and the random crazy shit we get up to around here
>>712118634
I'm trying, but it's difficult when the doc is so dismissive of any progress he makes and he has this "trust the expert" attitude to the whole thing.
I won't get into explaining how the spinal cord works, but it's divided into sections and at each sections a bundle of nerves exits the cord and branches out to particular body parts. For example, section C-7 controls your triceps. Sections C-8 and T-1 control your fingers, etc. He's improved by three levels since his injury, which in just six months is an amazing recovery, but his doc says things like "ah yeah, we'd expect a recovery of 2-3 levels but that's really the most you can ever hope for" - even when we now have evidence that nerves are starting to wake up 2-3 levels beyond where he's already got to (no movement, but one of the crucial tests is whether you can tell the difference between a body part just being touched and the slight pain of a pin prick - the pain sensor nerve runs right alongside the nerve for movement, so if you recover the ability to feel pain, there's a good chance that the movement nerve might recover as well)
So it's just rough having to watch him go through this hopelessness and basically be powerless to change his mind. Personally I regard pessimism like this from medical people as appallingly unethical. I mean, he came close to quitting his job which he absolutely loves and just got a huge promotion in, on the grounds that he wouldn't be able to use his fingers to type - now, several months later he has his finger movements back. What if he'd quit on the basis of the shitty and inaccurate prognosis he was given?
Anyway sorry for ranting, shit just really upsets me. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest, I'm too paranoid to post on other forums about it in case I get doxxed.
Dis is my cat, formerly. He provided a sizeable meal for forest animals.
I miss him. Many sads for fatass.
Live on my own and cant keep a cat or i would get a cat.
>>712120056
Hahaha, I see what you're saying, the fact that she's beating a man at something kinda thing. I think it would've been better and hit more at home if it was two dudes now that you say that, considering the vast majority of fighting and fatalities are male.
>>712120288
You should have a talk with the doctor on your own anon. Tell him to stop being so pessimistic and to encourage your dad to reach whatever betterment he can. Being pragmatic and dismissive is two different things and that doctor needs a reminder of that.
>>712119456
Sleep tight little pupper
>>712120313
Cute kitty. May heaven be full of slow mice for you, little one.
>>712119456
One of the deepest things I ever heard, when I lost my first dog to arthritis, was a quote from a vet's blog. He'd gone to a family's home to euthanise their equally sick elderly dog, and apparently when one of the kids asked why dogs live such short lives, his little sister remarked that if the purpose of this life is to learn to be happy and love others, then obviously dogs don't have to stick around for as long since they're basically born already knowing how to do that.
>>712113358
Goddammit I fucking hate death. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair.
>>712117633
that last one gave me the shivers
>>712120656
He was 4 i think. And really really dumb. Imcant really ask for slow mice for him because they would outrun his mental process even more than his body.
The cat my mom got to replace him also got eaten in the forest and pic related got hit by a car and then eaten by a turkey.
>>712112635
holy shit, this just opened my eyes a little bit
The past couple weeks I've been feeling pretty down, but this is a different type of sadness that I've not experienced before. It's like an empty feeling, a blackhole, that's been taking more and more of me to fill it up so that it won't consume me.
>>712117649
Super-villain confirmed.
>>712119986
For some reason this has just made me suddenly realise how unimaginably irritating it must be to be a foreveralone who's name happens to be chad. That's a kind of built-in frustration that must make these threads a complete pain in the hole to relate to.
>>712120935
You gotta let it out anon, if you feed it it'll just stay there like a parasite.
>>712120656
Plot twist: Hell for mice and heaven for cats are actually the same location
>be me
>christmas, last year
>feel depressed, need animal companion
>get myself a ferret
>think she'd be cuddly and cute
>she shits in my corners, pees on the floors, and smells
>want to love this animal so fucking bad
>after months of cleaning up after its mess and having it rip my belongings to shreds, I grew to resent it
>year later
>find maggots in her litter box
>feel like and absolute fuck up
>clean it out, blow $20 on making her a new extension for her cage
>room where flies cant get in
>she shits on her cage floor instead
I want to love this ferret so fucking bad, but its literally the most annoying piece of shit animal and it genuinely hates me. What did I do wrong?
>>712121094
Hey, I have BPD! Avoid people like me like the plague, seriosuly guys.
>>712121228
What's the treatment for people with that? I dated a girl with that, she was full blown nuts.
Having an issue /b/
Haven't properly cried in almost 4 years.
Was in relationship for 3 years that ended 5 months ago.
She was acting distant near the end, ended up asking for a break to try and figure out her feelings.
Not taking that shit because prior experiences ended with breakups anyway.
we had a good relationship, a really good one.
turns out she had no feelings for me for the last couple of months of our relationship.
didnt tell me to preserve my feelings and to not hurt me.
still insisted on having break.
i asked if she honestly thought it would change anything, if she would love me again.
she couldn't answer.
it hurt me more than it hurt her, but i broke up with her.
she still wanted to be friends.
i didnt even want to be alive.
"Anon, Dont just leave me like this, you're my best friend and my best lover at the time"
Begging me to stay in contact like it was some form of redemption, like i would just happily follow her orders and forgive her.
Like i would live the rest of my life thinking about what could have been.
Cut ties with her, never speak to her again
4 months pass
new message
"Im sorry"
Sit in silence for long time, still havent cried.
felt like balling and sobbing in bathroom or bedroom for almost 5 months now.
last time i really cried was 4 years ago.
what do i do b/ros?
TL/DR
Last cried almost 4 years ago
3yr relationship breaks open 5 months ago
still haven't cried, feel broken
>>712120918
Off topic, but does anyone know what the kid's story is here? Does he have a disease or disorder, or is he disfigured from an accident or something?
In other words, is this a "condition" or an acquired physical injury or trauma?
>>712121223
You got a ferret, that is where you went wrong. Cats and dogs have been with us for so long that they have an easier time being around us, ferrets are just slightly bemused at our company.
>>712121320
Medication, therapy, and a boring fucking life. Also, avoid getting high or drunk so your emotions and thoughts dont get too 'loose'.
>>712121137
Thanks, but I felt the best way I can show is the quote from the movie synecdoche new york
>>712121228
>>712121094
>>712121561
What is the opposite of that called? That is what I have.
>>712121223
Get a second one. Ive heard from self claimed ferret experts that they are better in pairs and can also literally die from loneliness
>>712121659
You mean you have very little emotional reaction to things?
>>712121426
It's hard to feel for a retard.
>>712121320
It's caused by emotional neglect as a kid. The extreme rage comes about if you've been conditioned through childhood to understand that nobody will react to your pain unless you express it in a way that inconveniences everybody else.
If you ever find the answer to your question, let me know. I've found that you can learn to suppress it at least most of the time, BUT, getting drunk with your friends is pretty much totally out of the question, because you *will* be one of those psychotic and angry drunks who doesn't remember how many bridges they burned when they wake up the next morning.
>>712110966
He can just roll off again...
>>712117081
tmw this has happened to me before
>>712121734
Yeah. All my emotional reactions are just LARPing.
>>712121773
That's not a pile of happy, it's a pile of member berries. So if it makes you feel any better, shit's about to get reeeeeal fucked up for that unsuspecting happy dude.
>>712122010
So you don't feel anything at all?
You're just continually neutral?
>>712122010
Hmm. How about empathy and consideration for others?
>>712121228
Diagnosed or
>hey this thing I googled sounds like me
That's how we started transtrenders
>>712121320
Beyond medication not a whole lot unless the victim is able to change themselves which is a hell of a lot to do. Otherwise you just gotta be as supportive as you can but i assume it's worse in women being creatures of emotion already.
Myself, I'm emotionally unstable. Self doagnosed, i fimd its similar to BPD but i experience all emotions to the extreme and can switch with any of them instead of just the 2 bipolar has.
>>712121867
>Inferior Space Testicle
>>712122271
>Diagnosed or
>>hey this thing I googled sounds like me
>That's how we started transtrenders
Yes, I'm diagnosed. I thought I just had depression all the years before hand.
>>712114639
Ugly? Yes.
Extremely? No.
That facial expression ain't doing you any favors.
>>712122462
Im like the infograph I posted.
Im not happy.. Just busy.
>>712121786
My sister has it, and she was never neglected. In fact more attention was always paid too her than myself. I just sat alone playing with transformers and bionicles while my parents did tons of activities with her.
Emotional neglect my behind.
>>712121426
been in similar situation
got over it when i fucked my neighbour
count your blessings
>>712117270
This would be alot sadder without the carrot on the dog
>>712122577
Idk, that's what I was told. That the theory at the time (five years ago, so maybe things have changed) is that the intense emotional outbursts and the intense fear of rejection / betrayal stem from having a fucked up parental relationship in which (a) you couldn't rely on their emotional support, and (b) you could only get their attention by acting out, simply being visibly upset or in need of help wasn't enough.
That's still just the leading theory though, so like every theory it could be a simplification, could be missing vital ingredients or alternatives, or could indeed just be flat out incorrect. But it does seem to correlate with a lot of BPD peoples' life experiences.
>>712122829
Are you questioning the artist's vision, anon? Heresy!
>>712122234
More or less. I can feel things like frustration and tiredness. I can also recognise what I should be feeling, but there is no deeper sense of anything. I can feel like maybe I should be worried in a situation, but I wont actually feel worried.
>>712122251
I can tell what people are feeling and generally understand why they might feel that way. I do not really understand why they would choose not to get over it though. Rationally I know emotions aren't something people can just control but I still feel some resentment or frustration when people waste time obsessing over their emotions.
my first actual feels thread. Thanks /b/ros! I know this may sound stupid but you guys are awesome! no matter how terrible my day I can always know that you guys will always be here for me, even if it's newfags, bananaposters, oldfags or closet 9gaggers you guys have helped me get through some really bad shit when no one else would. So I just want to thank you all!
>>712117749
The first time I read this I thought it said
"They look for you once they're gone"
Absolutely chilling.
>>712123256
Fuck you nigger
>>712123256
Have you ever heard of "anti baww"? They're memes which take traditional "feels" images, but inject some random humour into them by crossing out the punchline and replacing it with something shamelessly sarcastic.
I've found them more than anything else to be helpful in getting feels out. I think partially because the "graffiti" lines are reminiscent of the friendly chat or pat on the back some of us crave from IRL friends when we feel like this.
I'll dump a few to see if it's any help. Some love it, some despise it.
>>7121203
I'm so so very sorry for your loss anon may he rest in piece
>>712123552
thanx man
>>712123708
for sure man! doesn't quite sound like my cup of tea but always worth a try!
>>712120887
Thanksgiving's coming up, Anon. Nothing says revenge like some mass genocide.
This is sad but also funny
The day before I had to get my childhood dog put down, I posted a photo of her here and asked for a pick me up thread. Within *seconds*, somebody had drawn a speech bubble beside her and written "My master....... Is a faggot".
4chan's ability to make you laugh a proper deep belly laugh, even in your darkest moments, is unparalleled.
i want to give up so badly but i cant
>>712124172
>>712123256
Of course, anon. We'll always be here for you. You've started something beautiful tonight. Here's some feels music for your time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFVhKwtIPqc
>>712123552
Likewise.
>>712124277
> happy being violently sodomized
What are you, a fucking faggot?
>>712124041
Im canadian, we already had our thanksgiving
Small white/black cat in pic is only one we have left.
He has survived by being a spaz
Personal favorite
>>712124573
It's anti-baww, the point is to take normal feels jpgs and inject a "didn't see THAT coming" joke somewhere.
>>712124482
Thank you anon! It's the people like you that really stick out!
>>712116668
Thanks for posting this
>>712124578
At least you've still got one catbro, Anon. Sorry for all the fallen comrades.
>>712124573
Well look at it this way, Anon. Whatever horrible bullshit is happening in your life right now, there's another version of you out there somewhere who is, at this moment, being violently sodomized with rusty golf clubs by angry sand niggers. So really, the bullshit we're putting up with here... Could still be worse, like.
>>712124817
Sounds like a /pol/ sexual fantasy to me.
>>712113493
I will praise through the tears solaire. God damnit. you got me on this one.
>>712124993
tfw would enjoy being violently sodomized
>>712117364
Dude believe if your still in the military youll find someone else. I was air force and chicks were every where. Youll enjoy it
>>712124831
No problem. Glad I could help. I may have showed up a little late to the party, though. Have you already shared your story?
>>712122030
Maybe, my father eats them all the time. He seems happy enough especially since his retirement home seems to have an endless supply of free member berries.
>>712125097
I'm pretty sure that's one fantasy you could very easily find somebody to fulfil
Does it HAVE to be angry sand niggers with rusty golf clubs? I mean, that does narrow down your options a bit.
>>712112635
Have anymore "welcome to 4chan" posts?
>>712125384
I'll take mildly vexed regular niggers with rusty sporks, too.
>>712125179
No, you're good anon! Thanks for asking but the I still feel uncomfortable even typing it. Compared to what you guys have gone through this is probably nothing but I still feel uneasy about it, ya know?
>>712124277
okay, that was pree good
I'm >>712123256 btw
>>712125797
Anon this is a feels thread, we've had everything in here from dead soldiers to preteen heartbreaks. You're good. Let it out, you'll feel so much better.
Do it soon, because we're well on our way to the post limit in here, at which point nobody else will be able to reply. We have 50 posts left.
>>712111194
fuck.
>>712121424
lol
>>712125797
It's not a competition anon, it's a chance to share with people who can empathize. Don't get me wrong, if you're not feeling it, don't do it.
But don't refrain on the account you thinking your story isn't bad enough to be valid.
>>712113901
I'm a furry myself and I still think that guy is a piece of shit.
>>712125797
Oh, I know I've got a quote about that somewhere...But I can't find it so I'll have to improvise. Look, Anon, there's always going to be somebody who has it worse than you. Always. If we let that dictate who deserves to be sad and who doesn't... well, nobody would have a voice, would they? Because nobody has it as bad as some kid starving in a ditch or something. My point is that just because the struggles of others may be greater than yours, it doesn't invalidate your struggles or make them any less meaningful. Maybe getting the wrong color iPhone is not that big of a problem in the grand scheme of things, but it's still inconvenient. You feel?
Also, nice photo. Have another.
>>712126339
Found the quote.
“I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.” -Stephen Chbosky
Bump. Gotta keep this thread alive while OP is typing.
>>712123707
I remember I cried the first time I saw that episode, little did I know I could relate to that later on life.
>Things do get better, I am fairly popular now
i dont really feel anything anymore and im scared. its like im not even human anymore im not a person im so dissociated i feel like im watching a movie i hate it
>>712126086
>>712126234
>>712126339
Thanks guys! I'll just put my life in short form.
When I was 8 months old my father passed away due to a artery clog. I lived just with my mom and family that I had. My mother and family are very religious and I've lived in low income housing because my mom wanted to put me in a christian school so that I might keep that faith.(spoiler: I haven't necessarily) at the age of 10 my mom got remarried to a man who looked like a perfect match! But the day after their marriage my mom started getting doubts, we went through years of him hurting us and calling us names. He would publicly shove me and and mock me or my mother. Anyways 8 years of that and I've turned to drugs raining in all forms to help mend that, and just this summer after getting off work I was in a car crash and instead of loving me my ex-step-dad cursed and yelled at my blaming me for costing him money. My mom just got finished divorcing him and things just feel very hollow for me. Also not to mention because of the lack of any father figure I latch far too much onto people that show me even the slightest bit of affection, resulting in any "friends" thinking I'm too much to handle. I have no one to say I love you to, no one to hang out with either. All I really have is you guys and my mom (I'm 18 btw not a child)
>>712112463
things i don't have to worry about :(
>>712124817
Is that all there is?
>No. There is also Antartica.
Inappropriate, yet underrated post.
>>712127049
I was feeling very much like that earlier this year, anon. And I very much still am. But one thing that helped me was a break from routine. Sometimes, while brooding, I'll take a walk I didn't plan to take. Or rather than go home after my morning classes I'll grab my bike and go somewhere I've never been before, just to see what it's like there. Something like that. Anything to break the monotony of day-to-day life. And it feels pretty good. Being somewhere unfamiliar, alone with your thoughts, able to distract yourself with the new sights and sounds rather than dwell on your issues. It's very peaceful.
>>712127397
ive been doing things on impulse to try to do new things ive done pretty extreme things crazy things and at the end of the day its all the same nothing changes the only thing that ever did it for me were percocets
>>712127245
I'm a kissless virgin and see no sight of that changing any time soon(not that that will change much). I'm living in the shittiest part of my city, and feel too overwhelmed with life to actually want to do anything. My whole view on religion is completely fucked, because my cunt step-dad would praise jesus and worship at the top of his lungs at church and when we got home he would hit my mom. His parents always talked down to us (us being my mom and I) because we were poor and not as "intelligent" as them or whatever. SO, that's my story for you awesome people who somewhat gave a shit, thank you! Also, yes my writing is god-awful I'm well aware.
>>712127245
I can certainly relate to how you feel, anon. And I'm struggling with some of the same problems at the moment, too. What I can say is that being as sad as we are is a powerful tool, in a way: it allows us to more easily spot people who are going through the same things. One thing that worked for me (again, all I have to offer is advice based on my own experiences, for what it's worth) was finding someone else equally depressed and try to help each other through it. Hell, it's how I met my last ex-girlfriend and current best friend. It may not be a panacea (citation:me), but at least it's worth a shot. Right?
I'm 17 and I don't want to live anymore. I could talk about it... tell you guys my 'story' and you can either mock me and call me a faggot, or sympathize with me and say its ok 'it will get better'. I don't want either of those. I just want to know one thing. I turned to drugs to get through half of this but nothing seems to work apart from one thing. Does anyone else inhale aerosol? it's called huffing. I tripped a couple times off it and ended up breaking my headset and shit(that's not why I'm depressed before anyone jumps to conclusions -,-) its the only thing that makes me feel 'out of this world' I've got loads of bottles around me and my mother is confused on how I go through a bottle so quickly. If anyone is curious about it I can take pictures of the bottles.
>>712127385
TFW Antarctica is tiny but every world map they showed you in school had you thinking it was massive
>>712127584
My friend, I know it may not be worth much, but perocets are not the way to go here. It's far too easy to get hooked, and once they control you it's game over. If nothing else works for you, while I hesitate to say it because I know you won't listen, I have to recommend you see a professional. I'm not sure what barriers there are that have prevented you from doing so already, but it's probably worth it. I'm going to try to get one booked for next week, myself. It's just one visit.
>>712127740
oh anon, how I've tried. Thank you for the advice non the less! It felt nice getting some things off my chest
>>712127245
>>712127645
Dang, your stepdad sounds like a douche, no wonder you've been feeling bad and latching onto positive feedback. You should seek out some therapy anon, if you find a way to like yourself, you'll latch onto other people less. Sounds like you have a great need and capacity for love though, so you just gotta find a way to share it with people.
Therapy can help with that.
>>712127832
I did that once, didn't like how much it fucked me over though. I really can't recommend it. It basically melts the fatty tissue in your brain, giving you brain damage in small increments.
>>712127993
i already see a therapist i have been since june and nothing has changed idk what could help i want things to get better i tell myself they will but idk if they will anymore
>>712128148
I never knew about it giving you brain damage.... I've been doing it for 2 years (almost 3)
>>712127645
While our circumstances may be different, I can certainly relate to the feeling of being 'too overwhelmed by life to actually want to do anything'. That's actually why I'm going to see a professional. Or at least, that's how I justify it to myself and others. Otherwise I feel guilty about being sad without adequate reason. I would suggest you do the same, unless you think you can keep your life under control. With the holidays coming up, a break might be just what you need. Try to set aside some time for yourself this Winter. It might be just what you need.
>>712128305
I mean if your on /b/ you probably already have brain damage.
That being said, it fucks your brain up really good.
>>712128146
Well then, I'm glad I could help. That's pretty much all we did back in those days, me and her. Just get things off our chest to each other. Felt nice to have someone who listened but didn't judge. Someone who'd been through the same things. And while we probably won't ever date you, anonymous will always be here to hear what you have to say. Don't be shy.
>>712128305
Well the sooner you stop, the better anon. I know how shitty life can be, but huffing yourself into brain damage isn't the answer.
21/Virgin despite being in a relationship for half a year/Fat/possibly on the autism spectrum/well below average dick
I made the mistake recently of telling my girlfriend that I didn't want to live anymore. She is starting to become increasingly distant. My pessimism is starting to spread. Our strain is making me even sadder. She's gone from crying over my depression to wondering why we haven't split up yet. I know it's inevitable but I don't have the heart to be the one to do it even though ever since we began dating, my lack of self respect/ self worth has been drilling the thought into my head that she doesn't genuinely care for me. But more that she is with me because she doesn't want to be alone.
I can handle my own pain, but knowing im putting onto another I love and creating even more pain just makes things even worse. I wish I knew what to do to break this cycle.
>>712128226
I know how this is going to sound, so please understand that I mean it genuinely, anon. Drugs only make things worse. Have you communicated to your therapist that your condition isn't improving? They're the one person you don't want to hold anything back from.
>>712127740
>>712128148
>>712128382
>>712128538
God damn, you guys are the kinda people I wish I knew irl. It's so bizarre for me to think that some people, even if they're complete strangers may care. I've always just lived having people not care, so I would bury my feelings and forget about them
If you have been isolated for a long time, know that having even one person in your life changes everything.
It really is the impossible magic you imagine. One person. One mind that shares thoughts that aren't your own. One mind that that values you. You don't need a "significant other". Just any one person.
All (Damn near all) people are hungry for acceptance, approval, and appreciation. Muster up just an ounce of positivity, and offer these three things. If you can keep it together while others are around, they will feed.
With practice, you will be able to keep it together for longer and longer. And if they are good, after they have eaten, they will feed you too.
You've been fighting for a long, long time. Eventually, you will be able to hide your pain long enough to feed others. With this foundation, the real issues(obesity, virginity, social awkwardness) are nothing compared to coping with a lack of human interaction, a need as important as food and water.
I never thought it would happen for me. Keep on keepin' on.
>>712128305
>>712128553
On the bright side though, you're young and still retain neurological plasticity. You can recover a good deal from it if you stop now and start living healthier.
>>712128791
:P
>>712128770
yeah he said i should maybe get on anti depressants but idt anti depressants are that good considering everyone has different opinions on them
>>712128791
>>712128931
I'm glad I could help, anon. I want to help people through their tough times because every time I do, I learn something new about myself that I can apply to fixing my own problems. So if anything, I should be thanking you ^_^
>>712128521
true, Well if anyone out there does it, I want to give some advice I guess. Gonna give something to this world before leaving it. get a towel, one you would dry yourself with (no tea towel shit) fold three layers (four if the taste is strong) cover the nozzle of the spray (i recommend lynx/axe) put mouth over hole of spray (obviously with the towel between you and the spray) spray for a long time while doing this inhale for as long as you can. when you've reached maximum inhale capacity stop spraying and hold it in. hold for as long as you can the exhale slowly (open your mouth wide and let the smoke simmer out of your mouth if you want, that's what I do) usually, people go through about half a bottle and it makes them high asf. I think I've gotten used to it and it takes me 4 bottles before I even get a buzz.
>>712128553
I don't want to stop..
>>712128846
I don't want to recover.
>>712128931
Well i'm the one that isn't you, so you're not alone in there.
>>712128791
People like us are all around you anon, you just gotta recognize them. Look for that specific look in peoples eyes, the look you see in the mirror. Seek out those people and let them mirror themselves in your eyes, after a while of this, both of the looks in your respective eyes will have softened.
>>712128931
>>712129163
hehe, well thank you and other anon!
>>712129141
Have you communicated this to him? I, too, have major concerns with antidepressants simply on account of what I've heard from others. But I'm sure that if you communicate exactly what your concerns are to him, he can help you sort the fact from the fiction, and you can make a more informed decision.
>>712129227
Well thanks for the help then, friend ^_^
>>712129279
Both of those are me again :P
>>712111194
Right in the feels... damn...
>>712129185
4 bottles of axe? Your towel must smell like a fucking frathouse.
Also how long does the high last?
>>712111591
This was straight stolen from this film "all quiet on the western front", and it makes me angrier than it should
>>712129470
yeah he said that he think they would be beneficial for me but says its up to me if i want to take them or not
>>712128809
Truly fantastic advice. Thanks, Joe.
>>712129185
I have some basic experience in medicine, and I can tell you with a moderate degree of certainty that the high you are experiencing is oxygen deprivation. The aerosol you are breathing in, specifically the carbon dioxide in it, is poison to your body. Your cells can't use it. So when you fill your lungs up with it, your body has no oxygen to feed your brain cells with, and you begin to experience the symptoms of oxygen deprivation to the brain. One of the symptoms of this is permanent and serious brain damage if the oxygen deprivation is severe enough. I know you have expressed a desire not to stop, but what you are doing is literally killing you, making you dumber by the minute. I urge you to stop as soon as humanly possible.
>>712129796
Well ultimately he is the professional. Obviously it's your decision, but if you have talked through all the exact reasons you are hesitant to take antidepressants with him and he still recommends them then it probably means they'd benefit you. Though, again, the decision is yours, and there are a lot of factors in this decision that I simply cannot know.
>>712129644
they do, my mother is really confused and its quite funny. When I get really high i can sit there for hours seeing shit walk around me. The trips depend on your imagination at the moment. If you're having happy thoughts you will see happy shit. If you're like me you will see shit trying to kill you.
Fun story:
I got high at my PC and just started staring at my PC, a good hour later I'm still staring and start seeing weird faces on my monitor. Out of nowhere this really creepy one pops up and I freak the fuck out I swing back over my chair with enough force to snap my tiamat headset wire (i forget the name of the type of wire i think its called like double braided) I start screaming really fucking loud. Im now in the middle of my room (in my boxers wearing nothing else) screaming thinking something it about to kill me. my fight or flight kicks in and i run for my door. My door is closed and its a pull, i start freaking and punching my door as hard as I can. I finally open it and run down stairs and aimed for the door. as I got to the bottom of the stairs my mother caught me and stopped me from leaving. apparently I was screaming shit like 'I CAN SEE IT IN MY EYES, EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES' and 'ITS ON MY TOUNGE GET IT OFF MY TOUNGE' and started licking my mothers arm. To this day I think to myself what would of happened if i had left the house. As for my mother i told her i had a night terror (it was 11 pm)
>>712130298
i just want an escape from all this idc what it is anymore i just want to feel better
>>712123847
This one hit home.
>>712130421
Well then I think the question to ask yourself is whether or not you're willing to put in the work to improve your circumstances. Whatever it is that's making you unhappy, do you think you'd be able to tackle the problem if you were feeling happier? If so, then antidepressants may help you get just over that hill so that you can get your shit back in one place. But if not, then I fear they'll simply pose a temporary (and don't forget expensive) solution to problems that will just stick around and continue to haunt you.
