ITT: Superpowers
Come up with a superpower and other anons limit it.
>The power to never have to poop
>>711778377
Only if you haven't eaten
>The ability to read minds
>>711778377
... but you can never orgasm, either. Everything down there is dead to the world.
>>711778377
but youre always pissing yourself
>the power to get dubs whenever you want
Pokemon
>>711778377
The power to gas jews
>>711778440
>you dont decide when you want them
>>711778377
You're addicted to methadone, you also don't feel cold
Power over electricity
>>711778418
But you're immediately teleported to Southern USA and you have to live there the rest of your life.
>>711778418
Can't control ability and hear everyone in a 20 mile radius thoughts all the time.
>ability to stop time
>>711778418
Only when erect
>>711778456
You must lose ww2
>>711778524
Can only stop time when you have qt 10/10 gf
>>711778524
Only works when jumping
>power to MAGA
>>711778512
you're always wet
>ability to control heat
>>711778524
>but you can't move while time is frozen
ability to forget you ever had an ability
>>711778524
But you will stopped too, and the universe will be stuck in that moment
>omnipotent
>>711778418
It's a journal but unorganized, no index or ordering to it.
>>711778655
But you become a racist, sexist, narcissistic good-for-nothing cunt who everyone hates.
>>711778662
You turn into Steve Buscemi when wet
>power too teleport
The ability to make any meme funny
>>711778753
but teleportation takes as much time as walking
>>711778676
You also can't remember your name
>power to fix anything
>>711778753
You always vomint afterwards
>Power to crush anything on Earth
>>711778753
Only able to teleport 0.05 meter
>the ability to ignore the feels
>>711778751
Still waiting for the downside
>>711778456
According to Nazi propaganda theory, if something is said repeatedly it will eventually be true to the target's mind.
It's no wonder these holocaust denying white supremacists are so persistent.
>>711778706
but you have cerebral palsy
>>711778753
You don't know where you'll teleport
>The power to kill all modern day feminists
>>711778879
Feel everything at once once a week for an hour.
>>711778853
except what you break
>>711778897
Salty basement fag detected. You won, chill. Go fuck your sister or something.
>>711778932
it will also kill the hot chicks
>>711778879
Only works when drunk/high
>power to never run outta gas nor maintain car
>>711778853
But can only be used one every 500 years
>ability to commit suicide
>>711778436
I can deal with that, dead gurl is also gurl
>>711778706
>omnipotent
>noun: infinite in power, as a God
If you limit it its not really omnipotence. I guess you're forced to sleep in a usb drive (similar to a genie's lamp) for the rest of your life.
>>711778996
Cant buy car
>power to get that(you)
>>711778977
I want this anon to be able to take a joke
>>711778996
but you don't have a licence
>>711779003
It means you, the one with superpowers are are pretty much impotent. Never get a hard on.
>>711779094
> but all the jokes directed are her are lousy
>>711778812
You don't find memes funny anymore.
>>711778932
Your mom or other relative you love is a feminist
>power to memorize anything I read
>>711779203
that's cruel dude
Power to turn into a qt 20/10 japanese trap
>>711779221
but only in braille writing
>>711779221
You can never unsee any of it.
power to rustle anyones jimmies
>>711779221
You only read hentai manga.
> power to blow and snort at the same time
>>711778377
Power to get dubs whenever you post dankerino mems
>>711779394
You have to suck 30 cocks a day
>>711778998
You can only commit suicide by police
>>711779457
But you cant decide when the time is
>power to wake up inside
>>711778377
>The power to never have to poop
downside: be the leader of north korea
>>711779457
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING NORMIEEEEEE
>>711779394
Haha so just me then
>>711779071
Ou become a cuck
The ability to make logical contradictions without anyone pointing them out.
>>711779528
Still asleep on the outside
>the power to talk too animals
>>711779571
...and you start calling every girl you know onee-chan.
>>711778377
>17 poster
>59 posts
Holy fuck
>>711779701
What?
>>711779071
Never get repeating sigits
>>711779457
Can't identify the dankerino mems
>power to fuck ops mom
>>711779665
Cant hear the animals
>power to not be a faggot when being op
>>711779650
Your ears grow spiky and everyone wants to fondle them.
> can switch between man/woman at will
>>711779665
They all speak Hindu
>>711779650
They still know they're false statements
>power to convince anyone of anything
>>711779665
But they talk with a really irritating voice
>>711779769
Can't control what race you are
>The ability to kick normies off /b/ at will
>>711779759
Ops mom is a trap
>>711779844
Cant lie
>>711779767
All threads you OP have 5 or less replies
>>711779856
You yourself are a normie
The power of not having a power
>>711779856
All threads become cancer instantly.
> Nuke one small-sized town every month
>>711779844
But they can't break the law
>>711779769
Only kicks in after you cut dick or tits off
>power to alter the amount of valence electrons in an atom
>>711780004
The nuked populace mutate into a super-human species
>>711780032
You can only do this on one atom at a time.
>>711779970
You are retarded
>power too bring art to life
>>711780004
You become a bigger cuck for every city you nuke
>>711780133
Can only be done if u loose your virginity
>>711780133
It's still 2d when brought to life
The power to check'em!
>>711778706
You're gonna always be bored.
The power to make OP a fag
>>711780004
Must be within 10 miles of where you live
>power of knowing how too cook anything I eat
>>711780032
The missing charge gives you a nasty shock every time you use your power.
> Convince anyone to give you a blowjob
>>711780133
But it immediately tries to rape you
>You can see ten seconds into the future.
>>711780170
Sweet I'm set anon
>>711780246
Anyone you convince using this power always uses their teeth.
>can instantly fall asleep on command.
>>711780246
if you ever cum, you die
>>711780310
Works on anyone's command.
>>711780246
Only last for 10 seconds then they snap outta it
>power for phone to never lose charge, service or get scratched
>>711780310
But only if you're already tired
>can breathe without air
>>711780310
You have nightmares.
> Can go without sleeping for three months.
>>711780267
But it takes 10 seconds to charge up the brain in order to see the future. You then see the future from the point you started charging.
>You can absorb fresh dead corpse to gain permanent, extra power (strength, speed, int, etc..)
>>711780383
You still get tired though.
>>711780383
But only after you've slept 3 months in a row
>can turn into a brick at any time
>>711780267
But the 10 seconds have a 33% chance of actually being true.
The power to literally surf the Internet
>>711780439
Can't turn back
>>711780383
You won't die but feel the full on effects of sleep deprivation. You'll be full on meth head
>power to receive newest technology as soon as it comes out
>>711780486
But you don't know how to surf and unable to learn
>>711780516
But it's made in China, with batteries supplied by Samsung
>>711780200
You immediately become his lover
>The ability to manipulate weather
>>711780486
Internet sharks exist and are pretty hungry
>>711780439
Once you turn you're instantly put into the wall.
>>711780570
You manipulate it like everyone else
>>711780570
You become oblivious to weather change.
>>711780486
The waves are all made of tiny underage faggots parroting somebody else's worthless opinions at the top of their voices, making the whole experience insufferable.
> Always feel confident even under extreme stress.
>>711780414
But you have to eat the rotting corpse
>The ability to make anyone fall in love with you
>>711780570
You can only make it hail dead animals
>power to grow taller at will
The power to be untraceable
>>711778377
The ability to modify my own superpowers. Come at me, losers.
>>711780685
but you will hate that person
>>711780730
You don't have any superpowers
>>711780685
Only works on family members.
>>711780671
Ugh. Least i can cook with spices and sauces
>>711780685
They turn into an ogre, who is also *starving* for cock.
> Bend your fingers backwards and touch your wrist.
the power to enjoy a delicious glass of cold water on a hot summers day
>>711780685
Only works once, for 24 hours
>power to implant ideas into people's jeads
>>711780765
kek
>>711780730
but when you do, you loose the previous power
>>711780781
This still breaks your fingers
>>711780685
works only on people of same sex
>>711780711
You always have to wear an anonymous mask, and anything you do has to be tagged with "We are anonymous. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us."
>>711780660
Must maintain a supply of adderall and no one will prescribe it too you
>power to turn anything into cocaine
>>711780793
Leaves your jead jollowed out of ideas of your own.
> Never make any typo.
>>711780781
Wrist is made of jello.
The ability to float an inch off the ground
>>711780909
Druglords know, and they constantly try to capture you to exploit your cocaine powers.
>>711780835
You spread info but no one likes your shill ass
>power to know if people are lying
>>711780841
jokes on you, faggot, I'm already gay
>the ability to suck your own dick
>>711780909
You can only use it as baking soda.
> Make anyone angry and homicidal.
>>711780958
You can only float 2 centimeters
>>711780926
People always correct your "typos"
>>711780958
Only when you're jumping
>Ability to shrink own dick size
>>711780958
Can only float while upside down
>>711780380
Can only breathe in a vacuum
>>711781005
But you loved your girlfriend very much and now it's over.
> Instantly become an expert on any subject.
>>711780926
Can never type in the language you want
>power too go back in time up too 3 days
>>711781052
That would be pretty cool
>>711781015
Only when you're within 10 feet of a family member.
>>711781050
Never grows back
>>711780792
You only get one glass per day
>>711781099
You get the mother of all hangovers, that lasts for exactly three days.
> Piss beer.
>>711781095
You can never write down anything you learned, including problems, equations, subjects, history, dates, etc. (Can only share information verbally)
>>711778377
>power only works when you have a dick in your ass
>>711781141
Does this mean they only get one glass or only one enjoyable glass?
>>711781172
Beer tastes like shit, and it's really watered down.
>>711781113
>Only when you're within 1 foot of a family's member.
ftfy
ability to hit things with a sword really hard
>>711781095
>always being that "Well, actually..." faggot nobody likes or invites to parties.
The ability to move through time and alter causality at will.
The power too give a spider ptsd after it bites you
>>711781234
>Only when you are making direct eye contact with a family member
ftfy
>>711781095
But any person you argue with is autistic and won't listen
The ability to increase your strength by at least a dozen times for a single punch, but the punching arm goes off immediately, taking days to heal back.
>>711781205
I'm going with one enjoyable, you hate every other glass you drink
>>711781254
The force is exerted with equal strength back to you.
The ability to control all ants within a 100 ft. radius.
>>711781268
You never achieve the effect you want when you do.
> Ability to make your cum poisonous.
>>711781254
What you consider hard is actually only hard enough to cut melted butter
>>711781320
Did you limit yourself?
it costs 100$ to punch really hard
>>711781254
Every time you use your sword it breaks
>The ability to commit any crime without being punished
>>711781367
When it's poisonous, it turns green and smells bad.
>>711778524
But you can't start it back, you're not frozen but everything else is, no electricity, no sunrise or sunset, no running water, no animals, no video games, no /b/ etc. etc.
> the ability to have any superpower you want with no limits while still being able to decide what you want
(Limit that bitches)
>>711781320
But you don't get any kicks out of doing it. Also, all your hair falls off and your scalp shines.
> You can live the life of another person for one day.
>>711781414
Crimes are limited to petty theft among family members.
Ability to leave /b/ forever
>>711781414
But your crush knows about it and disapproves of any crime you commit.
>>711781414
Your friends are punished instead of you
>power to win 10 gold medals at olympics
>>711781480
You can't decide.
> The ability to grow any plant at super-speed.
>>711779253
but only when no one is around you or looking at you
>> power to create any type of drug
>>711781480
you can't choose what superpower/limit you get, and each lasts for a year (one at a time)
>>711781530
Special olympics only.
>>711781480
You can't decide.
> Grow any plant at superspeed.
>>711781320
You're arms don't regenerate, this will work with prosthetic, but it will be expense to replace them.
>>711781563
Cant consume it
>>711781563
Only in extremely small quantities
Power to sleep with literally anyone of your own choosing
>>711781530
you have to train for half your life to win them
>the power to control animals
>>711781514
You move on too tumbler
>power to write funny jokes
>>711779069
Nice reference there
>>711781495
They live your life for a day as well.
>>711781495
They live your life to a day as well.
Ability to control time and space.
>>711781659
as long as they have STDs
>>711778986
Soooo, that's all women then...
>>711781659
They are always a trap.
> Speak to the dead
The power to hear everything people say incorrectly
>>711781670
animals are limited to turtles, newts, and toads
>>711780377
But the screen is always cracked too much to see
>>711781676
Your jokes are so good you kill everyone you tell them.
> Speak to the dead
>>711781670
Must first touch for 5 mins animal to gain control
>power to count cards
>>711781758
But they only speak in Arabic about not getting any promised virgins.
>The ability to blow the entire world up whenever you want.
>>711781758
There is no afterlife.
>>711781764
But you know what they mean.
> Make people's heads hurt.
>>711781676
>too
>tumbler
kek
>>711781670
animals are limited to turtles, newts, and toads
>>711781808
They only scream at you
>>711781819
But you wake in bed the same day right after you die, and every time you explode the world your day gets shittier.
> Punch people in the face over the internet.
The ability to change any scent to that of Scarlett Johansson's sweaty ass
>>711781877
You hate the smell of Scarlett's ass (but love everyone else's).
> You can make any girl's boobs grow or shrink at will.
>>711781659
It literally means sleep not sex
>>711781874
This power should not be limited but it costs $200 every foot they are away from you
>>711781938
They know you did it
>>711781938
but you are gay
>>711781938
Only works on men that identify themselves as girls
>power to happy with your useless life
>>711778377
can smell vaginas from 10 feet away.
>>711782085
But your life ends as soon as you become happy
>>711782085
Nihilist
>>711782085
But you can only use it when you post in /b/.
> Smell when someone is horny.
>>711782085
That's not a bad thing. You basically just gave anon a fuckin pure profit plastic surgery business
>>711782093
can only smell vaginas with STD
>>711781815
Can only count with your fingers
>power to makes portals
>>711782093
Can smell vaginas from 9 feet away
>>711782093
But you hate the smell of pussy
>can fuck anyone you want
>>711778377
When you are near a toilet
Ability to tap faster at will
>>711782244
only with a condom.
>>711782244
blacks men you see in the street can fuck you whenever they want too
The ability to drink water
>>711782396
But u are allergic to water
>>711782244
You can only fuck anyone with aids, depression, or cancer
>Walk through walls
>>711782356
But can never cum
>>711782446
Its Trump's wall
>>711782356
But can't aim
The ability to time travel
>>711782446
But the longer you are in a wall or the thicker the substance is the hotter you get (think your atoms are colliding with those in the wall or something) (think param from the book Pathfinder)
>>711782621
but only to the point of your conception.
>>711778869
you get sent to mars
>>711782621
a minute at a time
>>711782621
Only 1 second into the future every 24 hours
>>711779665
everyone thinks your crazy
>>711782645
Just run through the walls, ya' fuckin dingus
>ability to change anyones facial features however you like
>>711780267
once you see it, you travel 10 seconds into the future
>>711782755
> just run through the walls
Still what I said about thickness (I meant density) applies and think how long it takes to cool down a certain amount
>>711782727
>dr. dolittle
>>711782755
You can only make them into your exs faces or your own
>Be the only sane person in a crazy world
ability to walk on water
>>711782943
but everybody thinks you're crazy
>ability to buy anything without money
>>711783006
can only walk on frozen water
>2x brain power as everybody else
>>711783006
you get killed by jews.
>>711783027
Already have everything you want legitimately
>what you imagine comes to life
>>711783222
everything you imagine comes out deformed and dying
>>711783053
Can only use the extra brain power to listen to NOMA - brain power in your head
>>711783053
but you must scream O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U-
JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A-
E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-
JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA 3 times every time you use your brain to think
>>711783285
AY BUDDYBOI BET ME TO IT
>>711783222
compulsively obsess about all of your worst fears
>can talk anyone into anything
>>711780377
its a car phone
>>711780660
only when naked, you also have a tiny dick
>>711780688
your dick shrinks for every inch you grow
>>711780909
you od
>>711781005
but you cant tell the truth
>>711781095
only on subjects people dont care about
>>711781815
outloud
>>711781833
you have to headbutt them
>>711783361
they ignore you
>power to open up portals anywhere and be able to transport through them
>>711783540
the portals open 300ft above where you wanted and you can't put them 300ft lower than where you want
>can control water however you want
>>711783540
All portals lead exactly 3 feet up Moots ass
>>711783624
only water from mars
>>711781757
Hillary Clinton would survive, unfortunately.
>>711783825
>take all the water on mars
>fly it to earth
>nasa finds alien life on mars water
gg ez
>the ability to control any object's temperature
>>711779918
I find this downside acceptable and I must have this power at any cost.
>>711784041
It's controlled via thermostat. You could glue one on, but that can be impractical in most cases.
The power to know what people mean when they use abbreviations
>>711778977
>>>/facebook/
>>711784041
Can only change the temperature to room temperature
>>711780769
acceptable "downside"
>>711780781
That power is its own downside.
>The power to be the Juggernaut, bitch.
>>711778491
kek
>>711778913
Fucking lol'd.
>>711784672
But you say it in Michael Cera's voice.
>The power of unrustleable jimmies.
>>711784672
You have no neck and your head looks like the top of an egg.
> Make everyone feel fuzzy and warm inside.
>>711781172
The beer tastes like piss.
The ability to not be a nigger.
>>711784874
This is an upside
Also you perpetually rustle everyone else's jimmies, thus making then hate you
>>711781290
>Only when making direct eye contact with a family member's member
ftfy
>>711781480
You don't know you have the ability, so it never gets used.
The power to turn invisible.
>>711784942
but people see your skin as black
>the power to see through all lies
>>711784874
but nobody gives half a fuck about you or your jimmies
>i can create a portal of finite size out of nowhere that leads into a pocket dimension. within this dimension i can create or manipulate anything, regardless of having the knowledge for it. i.e. i can create life without studying bio med. i can bring any object into and out of this pocket dimension with me, although no person may travel with me unless i grant them entry.
>>711778377
reality manipulation, no holds barred
>>711785191
but now you see that there are no truths.
>the power to never require food, water, oxygen, sunlight, or to pass bodily waste
>>711784909
but you will always feel cold and desolate forever.
>the power to transform into animals at will, and then back into my natural form at will
>>711782093
Downside is you can smell vaginas from 10 feet away.
>>711785110
That limit tho gg lmao
>>711785198
That's cool as shit I want that power! (Or even just having my own pocket dimension that's already, for lack of a better word, built and I can go in there just to get away from other people's bullshit)
>>711782093
must also smell only sweaty balls as well
>>711784264
You yourself speak and type entirely in abbreviations.
>>711778524
But you can never unfreeze it
>>711785617
Did you know Earth is a celestial body?
>>711785110
but everyone near talks major shit about you only while you use the power
reality manipulation, no holds barred
Power to suck your own dick
>>711786151
can only do if samefagging
>>711778998
>But you reincarnate as yourself again
Ability to morph into any person you want
>>711785110
Only when you're not in anyone's line of sight.
>>711778998
You always come back to life exactly 48 hours later.
>>711786209
Only when your on your period.
>ability to control temperature of the room I'm in.
>>711786420
The next room over keeps fucking with your temperature.
>The ability to punch yourself in the face without restraint.
>>711786420
but you're never comfortable at the current temperature
>>711786420
always sweat
>ability to be immortal
the ability to actually see tonights fucking "supermoon" through all these god damn clouds
>>711786613
You keep growing older anyways.
>>711786703
You're suddenly near-sighted. (RIP my glasses.)
The ability to generate potatoes and water out of thin air.
The power to destroy niggers, ragheads and sjws with my mind
>>711786891
Potatos are rotten and water is all frozen
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot...
>>711786891
Thanks for that image in my mind of an old fucker you just ruined my boner forever
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot....
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot.....
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot......
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot.......
>>711778909
you're a huge faggot........
>>711778909
Dont worry you are not a faggot
>>711787146
Glad to have helped.
>>711787188
wrong, faggot
The power to make kibble and water appear out of thin air.
>>711779203
I think I already have this one :(
>>711780486
but it's the mid-90's internet
>>711780685
you both fall immediately and irreversibly in love with each other but you both believe that the other hates you and can't be convinced otherwise
>>711780792
the rim of the glass has nigger piss on it
>>711781015
your dick goes numb and tastes like shit, but you still have to do it 10 times a day or your die
>>711784942
you listen to insane clown posse anyway
>>711781367
you're the only one who will ever drink it
>>711781363
but when you do, bees fly into your ass
>>711781414
you're a moralfag and force yourself to pay restitution to your victims and are crippled by guilt
>>711781480
you have an IQ of 65 and only want the power to produce play-doh at will so you can eat it
>>711781659
you are now only attracted to women weighing more than 500 pounds
>>711781833
by stabbing yourself in the eye with a pencil
>>711781874
but every time you do, a smugger, more annoying faggot appears
>>711782085
but hell exists and you suffer there for eternity
>>711782167
the smell kills your boner
>>711782244
but you get taken in the ass by angry niggers when you use your power
>>711782621
You are stuck in a time loop 1 subjective week long that forms the entirety of your existence and you're aware of it, but there's no way out.
>>711785315
but you're paralyzed
>>711785617
only in gay assholes
>>711786891
can't be used to make vodka
