Ok /b/ lets start a mercenary company, post your skills, abilities, defects and Choose a name to enter the squad.
name
>Tesla
abilities
>Specialist in electronics and communication
>Speak English, Spanish and Portuguese
>Could kill somebody
defects
>never killed anyone
>No military experience
>>711165744
Name
Fag
Abilities
Speak English and French
Defects
A lot
>>711165887
Ok you are the explosive expert
>>711165744
name
>Boss
abilities
>greatest soldier the world has ever seen
>speaks english, russian
>killed hundreds of men
defects
>defected to the soviet union
>>711165744
Name:
Nine
abilities:
Good with ropes, chains and the sort.
Experience with fierarms, mainly hunting rifels.
Military history, but not braggworthy.
Defects:
My English, and therefore my coalition ability is not the best.
Have a bad kidney from accident earlier.
Name: /b/ company
Abilities: Almost clean fingers after wiping ass, creepshots of sister at ready.
Dafuq am I doing here?
>>711166094
Combat squad leader the fag is with you
>>711165744
Name: niggerbeater. Abilities: beat niggers. Defects: niggers don't like me
Holy shit you kids are faggots
Name:
Boogs
Skills: Can throw really far
Defects: Can't catch for shit and only has 4 fingers
>>711166214
Rape squad leader you can pick anybody for your team
>>711166335
Inteligence squad
>Mr. Melvinheimer
>police training
>great marksman
>degree in chemistry
>skilled in all building trades
>diabetic
Name: Gerhard Wallmeier aka Adler
Abilities: Nazi experiments turned him into super soldier with inhuman strength and speed, speaks German and English.
Defects: Hates everyone who doesnt support his ideology.
>>711165744
name
>boris
abilities
>russian military training
>speaks russian and english
>good at killing chechens
defects
>raging alcoholic
>stupid
Name:
>Gears
Or something mechanical
Abilities
>drive any vehicle, cars, trucks, heavy equipment or tanks
>could do heist-y things like welding up contraptions or cutting into vaults
>can fix and shoot guns
Down sides:
>drink too much
>not a fan of violence
>>711166595
Yes sir.
>>711166431
Niggerbeater wil be my second in comand.
>>711166593
Bogos and
>>711166335
/b/ company
Wil join. For their rape-related abilities.
We wil move out at your orders sir!
Name - Mitch
Will snap and kill anyone in a second
Flaps hands when nervous or making spaghetti
Uses slingshot and fires jizzballs
Possibly autistic
Bald
Samefag here
Name: Nooky
Abilities: Yes
Defects: Still in denial about the number four, chinese new year, and the IRS
>>711166901
Report yourself to the combat squad leader
>>711167154
yes comrade commander!
Name: Tree
Abilities: bashing the fuck out of everything and is gigantic
Defects: is dumber than balls and needs a handler
>>711165744
name
>Denmark
Abilities
>Great/Free education
>Having really hot girls
>Small country, giant value
>Free healthcare
Defects
>Might get nuked by trump
>INsane taxes
>>711166774
Nice you are the bombs and shit expert choose your team Boss is your leader
>>711166064
Got it
>>711165744
name
>Tungsten
abilites
>can speak every European language
>fluent in all computer programming languages
>physically powerful and fast
>IQ of 250
>expert marksman
defects
>socially inept, bad at communicating
>doesn't have hand to hand combat training
>>711167000
Good work nine
Name:
Alpentia
Abilities:
can cook a mean quesadilla
Have killed before
Can kill without remorse
Handy with knifes
Hate sand
Defects:
Have a very large toe
Chubby
Hate stupid people
>>711165744
please stop this autism
>>711165744
Name
>León
Abilities
>Jack of all trades
>speak German, English, Spanish, French
Defects
>if the price is right
>>711166842
You combat squad now
>>711165744
name
>homo
abilities
>homo
defects
>homo
Name
>Spook
abilities
>Specialist in bullshit due to acting career
>Unassuming looks, always hiding in plain sight
>DIY skills
>Unbreakable morale
>Fast learner
defects
>No experience killing people or even doing mil-sim, despite being a gun fan and knows a fair bit about the military and procedures
>Autistic fits of murderous, mouth-frothing rage if people keep pushing me
>May get angry enough to buck the chain of command and tell my CO to fuck himself, I'm saving the girl/doing the right thing
>>711166581
You're no fun.
>>711165887
>>711166774
>>711166901
>>711166842
what up nigs, boss here, is this all for combat squad atm?
>>711167806
Wie ihr befehlt. Melde mich zu Diensten!
>>711166901
name
>aslanbek
abilities
>guerilla warfare
>speaks english, chechen, russian, arabic
>hates russians
>good at convincing people to become suicide bombers
>bomb making, dead man switch making, repelling flameflowers and thermobaric weapons
down sides
>chechen
>>711167666
Zdravstvuyte tovarishch
My friend you can choose enter a squad or create your own
>>711167975
It seems to be, or do you see others?
>>711166431
Fuck this made me laugh
name
>osornofag
abilities
>speak English, Spanish and bad Spanish
>could kill somebody
>lack of selfrespect, so
>could kill myself in pro of a mission
defects
>lack of selfrespect, so
>could die innecesarilly
This is the worst mercenary squad ever, lol
>>711166982
Gears you are my mecanical expert and my iron dick
Name: Weasel
Abilities:
>Knows about everything illegal going on
>Has connections everywhere
>Slick talker with balls of steel
Defects:
>No physical abilities, not a fighter
>Greedy, untrustworthy slimeball
Name:
Mike. It's the first letter of my last name on the radio, and I'm not autistic
Abilities:
Stealthy, but more importantly a quick, logical, and intuitive thinker, and a right tactical genius. Quick to understand and see motives as well, and just generally good with people. Decent experience with hand to hand and bladed weapon combat, with rudimentary gun training. Polylingual, ranging from English and predecessors to a smattering of Hebrew. Cannot hack, but proficient with code and a computer. Can fly aircraft, and skilled driver.
Downsides: Not autistic like the rest of you, pessimistic when another attitude is not required, isn't particularly fond of killing and no military experience. Firearms are only effective at close range. Doesn't do to well with many different problems at once, such as coordinating a larger operation (multiple units or battalions). A bit on the younger side as well. Chronically depressed.
Suggested role: Stealth operator or surgical strike coordinator.
name
>Seoul
abilities
>Specialist in assassination
>Speak English, German, Swedish, Korean, Mandarin.
>Loyal to the end
defects
>Bad memory
>Ignores everyone except his leader
>>711167013
Inteligence squad member
Alpentia here, another defect is that i can't greentext. I also hate water
>>711168081
dont see any others
>>711168374
My right arm, second in comand, but never around.
Name:
>de-kebab-ulator
Abilities
>Combat medic and recon experience (vastly prefer long range to urban combat)
>speak English, Spanish, Russian, Hebrew, Latin, German and Italian (some SE Asian languages too but only enough to get around)
>not green to combat
>resilient and unfazed by wartime pressure/fatigue
>mastered Krav Maga and mixed in a few other combat oriented disciplines
defects
>short (5'4"), not well suited for certain tasks
>don't do well as a grunt
>>711168069
anger.
>>711165744
>Blakey
>14 years Royal Marine Commando
>Speak Pashto, Arabic, little German and Russian
>I used to kill people for a living
>Five tours of Iraq and Afghan combined, two tours N. Ireland, and the Balkans.
>Used pretty much every gun available in those locations
>Designated company sniper
Defects?
>lost left hand, ear and eye in Helmand, my prosthetic hand is pretty good though.
>>711165744
Name
>Glitch
Abilities
>Tech Savvy
Defects
>Asian
>>711165744
>Name
ケン様 Codename: SamuraiShadowx
>Abilities
Perfect hand eye co-ordination: Aids me in my ability to draw manga and can wield my mighty katana.
Katana Wielding Prowess: I've been training every day. Vastly superior to any other weapon on Earth.
Speaking Fluent Japanese, including Osaka dialect.
Vast knowledge of Japanese Bushido code. Which I follow 100%
>Defects
Sometimes I trip while I run around town in my kimonos.
Don't have a Japanese Visa.
>>711167006
Combat squad
>>711167279
Base chef
>>711167429
Rape squad
>>711167698
Su-chef
name
>vlad
abilities
>can go invisible for 60 minutes at a time due to technological implant in nervous system
>stealthy
>skilled with handguns\
>low cunning intuitive intelligence
defects
>very small and physically weak
>low general intellligence
>too instinctual and impulsive
>>711167429
Welkom to rape squad denmark
If need be. I, the leader speak the Scandinavian thung.
Also, bring lube
Second thought, we wil just make our own lube.
Need more two squads leaders
>Assassin squad
>Defense squad
> anotherone.jpg
Name:
> Zxert
Abilities:
> Rolls natural 20's
> World's best dungeon master
> Some of the worlds strongest legs
Defects:
> Giant crab arm
> Chernobyl survivor
> Allergic to tap water and mustard
> Skin looks like fucking bubble wrap
>>711169226
Defense squad leader choose your team
Spook here. Notice me, senpai Bossu~
I feel like I'm in gym class again.
>>711168715
The assassin squad is yours
>>711169442
Spook is now second in comand in boss squad all okay boss ?
>>711169351
I choose
>>711168752
>>711168715
Samurai, Staz, and Blakey
Name:
Taco man
Abilities:
-Can cook awesome shit but prefers cooking tacos
-Great with knives and swords
-Loves spicy food
-Speaks: Spanish, english, latin and italian
-Has a sexy as fuck accent
Defects:
-Loves spicy shit and can handle it but still gets bad diarrhea when eating spicy food
-Can't green text or think of more defects
>>711168548
Loyal to the end..., loyal to the end.
>>711168752
>skilled in all trades...
>sometimes needs a reality check
>>711169708
Holy shit! I won't let you down, boss!
Name
>Osama
Abilities
>tons of military experience from first hand conflict
>established leader of an organized religious group of sandnigs
>already killed thousands of people
>billionaire family (many assets to contribute)
>shit tons of guns, drugs, and self detonated c4
>followers ready to die for my cause
defects
>I'm dead
How are the squads looking so far, commander?
>Seoul
Fuck guys i've got too many roles to play so boogs and nooky are up for grabs
> im zxert now i guess
>>711170112
Very good
I'm in need of a mercenary company. I need someone to kill a drug lord. Name your price.
>>711165744
Boss, Taco man here, i want to know if i may join you sir
>>711170243
Say the name i say our price
>>711170337
Taco man rape squad we still need a mexican there
>>711170480
Thank you sir, glad i can be of help
>>711170480
As cheif of the rape squad, i wil let him in ouer ranks... As long as he can behave until we are operating in field.
>>711170339
<Insert made up drug lord>
Can you assassin squad handle it?
I've got cash.
>>711170630
I will behave sir, i will keep myself cooking tacos and shit so i dont have to rape the squad
>>711170863
Good. Welkom. Report to the kitchen.
Name
Tex-Mex Taco
Abilities
Shorter that avrage penis
Pro
Not black
Con
Mexican
how things are by now
leader
>me
right arm
>seou
combat squad
leader
>boss
second in command
>spook
members
>fag
>Mr. Melvnheimer
>Gerhard
>boris
>tungsten
>mitch
Rape squad
leader
>nine
members
>niggerbeater
>bogos
>/b/ company
>Denmark
>Welkom
>taco man
>Trump
>A star
>Special ability, can grab anything by the pussy at any time, even if it doesn't have a pussy
>Unstumpable
>Manly freedom muscles
>Wig of holy memes
Defect:
>Not very smart
>>711165744
>Calvin
Abilities
>Ridiculous perseverance
>Talented at using machinery
>Knowledgeable about drugs
>Funny and helps keep morale up
>Good at manipulating the enemy
Defects
>A bit of both. Will get extremely angry if someone on the team is hurt. he will then fly into a destructive, uncontrollable rage.
>>711171083
Yes sir, i hope you like chipotle.
>>711170829
ok donkey
>>711169830
الله أكبر
Air support leader talk to boss for a job
>>711167837
design and shit expert
>>711168158
talk to the air support leader
>>711166901
*Good at sucking the NCOs Dick and getting shit pushed in during basic training
>>711168296
intelligence squad
Team Asskicker inc.
Name: Redskin
Abilities
>Trained private investigator
>some range time with 9mm
>Can find people.
Defects.
>few pounds overweight.
>no military experience.
I can literally sneak up on anything/anyone
Very good at killing things
Good with knife
My defects are I am a picky eater
And ihate gays refuse to work with them
My name is pale face
>>711171288
trump you are my left arm good luck my friend
>>711172352
What are you from the ukraine?
>>711172561
Ojibwe native
>>711172677
Oh shit, me too.
OP here going to sleep good night team
Name: The Joo
Abilities: Incredible levels of autism, vast supply of shekels, and some adequacy with rifles.
Defects: Still fat and autistic
>>711172821
Sleep wel boss.
We stand guard.
Nine out!
Name: Kefka
Pros
>Intelligent
>Nihilistic
>Wicked sense of humor
Defects
>will only wear fedora and trenchcoat
>watches at least 8 hours of anime a day
Name
>the handler
Abilities
>expert on stealth, guerrilla warfare
>mostly use silenced weapons
>expert in hand-to-hand combat
>fades into background
Defects
>perfectionist, can never leave a job undone
>bad moral compass, kills kids and women
>>711172855
Covering for Op for now, you will go to the "special" Ops team. Ok i am out too, got to go eat
>>711172778
I get my name after I have vision on magic ones chief says my face was pale as white man and I looked like I seen wendigo that is my name since pale face
>>711165744
Name: Richard
Abilities: makes shoot of gun. Well.
Can kick doors in.
Not a pizza box
Promoted to Lance corporal. Three times.
Defects:
Liver damage.
Pre-existing condition.
Name
>Dazza
Abilities
>Can throw a boomerang with precision
>Can speak Australian mate
>Able to fight off thousands of abos
Defects
>Yeah nah, cunts fucked
>Too many flies
>Is a descendant of convicts
Strewth!
>>711165744
>Name:
Thrasho
>Abilities:
Fluent in English, German, and Farsi
4 years US Marine Corps, EAS'd as a Lance Corporal.
Experienced in Heavy weapons (manned a 240 in corps)
>Defects:
Prone to racially/religously instigating the locals at the worst times
I'll need to borrow your waifu every now and then for "business"
Name
>Mohammed Stramanaza Abil-Jabar Streungafanzazan the III
Abilities
>Amazing voice which can easily boost morale
>can do a million voices
>Extremely deadly in close ranged combat
Defects
>Utter shit at long range combat
>Can easily get confused and does not follow orders well
>Insecure about his name
>>711173918
240? You sad, sad son of a bitch.
Cool thread OP
Name
>Жуков (Zhukov)
Abilities
>demolition, quickthinking, good accuracy, jury-rig weapons/exlplosives from junk, carry heavy stuff for squad, can read Russian, but can't understand it
Defects
>large target
>zones out too much
>cracks under pressure
>has never killed anyone
>Ctrl - alt - destroy
Abilities
>Punching hard
>Very amateur hacking
>Making explosives
>Making knives
>Making poison
>Making guns
>Amature arsonist
>No fear of death
Defects
>Can't hack computers, on games, and my own computer
>Only killed fish and deer
>Being watched by the NSA, and FBI for figuring out how to do the above and more!
>>711174296
Oi, boss, perhaps I could get my placement, no?
>>711174916
The boss is out for today but i will give you your placement for him, you will go in the demolition and heay weaponry team
>>711173753
You will go with the rape squad because you are descendant of convicts
>>711174543
You will be in charge of taking care of supplies (creating and transporting supplies when needed)
>>711165744
Name:
>Brand
Abilities:
>Some "military" training, was in the cadets for a few years as a teenager.
>Born in a muslim family so i know the culture and religion
>Half paki so i could blend into asian crowds a little better
>Studying clinical psychology and wanna specialise in PTSD treatment so I could help our troops
Defects:
>Physically Weak
>Smoker
>Lazy
>Can't drive
>>711176030
You will be part of the mental health team and in charge of giving therapy to everyone.
>>711176298
thats fine with me anon
>>711176030
Hmmm, sounds like your average day monkey
>>711173979
I would like-a-the placement, please
>>711173979
You can the be the Arditi (vanguard), first to charge the enemy at close range combat
>>711176741
i am, but i plan on having a military career in the future
>>711172959
you can be the reconnaissance squad. you can also do some espionage when its needed
>>711175403
Excellent, my talent will not be wasted after all, where is Tesla anyway? We should put this up on /k/ just to make sure that the thread lives, and gain recruits at the same time, how 'bout that?
>>711165744
>jesus
>have the super power to have whatever power I want
>chosen one squad
>>711172922
intelligence, you can take stock of supplies
> Beta
Abilities
> can kill a man
> Good with wepons
> Has a belt and can hang himself
Defects
> Lacks Millitary training
> Only Sleeked English
>>711172352
reconnaissance or espionage
>>711177343
youre a perfect grunt. dont be sad about this. this thread is lacking on them. all you need is some basic training
>>711177209
Defect: cutscene death
Name:
Ian
Abilities:
Excellent shot.
Excellent at information extraction and manipulation of people/events.
Hillary clinton supporter
Defects:
Deaf
Morbidly obese
Definition of internet retardation, I thought Habbo was fucked
>>711168644
You're a commander, need that kind of experience. You could be out in the field if you feel comfortable with only one hand
>>711165744
4rar reporting. 7 years Australian rifleman. More skilled then 99% of you fucks.
>have killed
>>711168568
Medic grunt. good than you speak so many languages
>>711177575
Compound guard is what you are Ian
>Name is Edward Penishand
>Great cook, awsome with the ladies. Shoots out face melting cum up to 20 feet from my palm
>But I cant run that well, my segway helped though
Lem Lemoncloak. Jaded, powerful warrior. Specialize in projectiles and foraging. Good at mission control and team building. Defects: worms ate last girlfriends maidenhead
Mantequilla
>Specialist on torture
>Ex-Narco
>Can jump any wall I have in front of me
>Can't get drunk
Defects
>I only do torture while listening to Funky Town
>I'm always saying "wey"
>>711178290
Camp torture
>>711165744
Name
>Shitstormers
Abilities
>Can literally start shitstorms in any message board
>Can speak English and mock every other language
>skilled Psychological internet warfare
>White knights
Defects
>Complete shut ins
>Never touched by women
>Mild weebs
>Stand no chance in physical combat
>>711178290
Ah, you're going to be a fun one, Funky Town is a good song
>>711178527
you can run the online recruitment page anon
>>711178738
Administrator see:
>>711177202
-Жуков
I'm gonna go patrol the streets, foo mine thing. Look for imigrants or children that are out now.
Its 5 in the morning here.
Take care of the tred and ouer battalion.
-nine
Cheif of rape squad.
Name:
> Pyro
Abilities:
> Pyrokinetic Abilities
> Stealth Expert
> Has an immunity to flames
Defects:
> Robotic Arm
> Allergic to tap water
> Must stay in anti-flame proof suit to survive rain/snow
Name
>Ivan Ivonanavitch Ivanisky
Abilities
>Russian Special Forces
>Rus/Eng
>Good With Potato's
>Can hold my breath for 13 seconds
Defects
>Slavboo
>Vodka
>squating
Name: Sanic
Skills: run super duper fast like a racecar
Spiky hair to stab enemies
Lots of gold rings to throw at people
Can run upside down
Roll into ball and crush people
Defects: am blue
Look like a rat
Don't know how to use a gun
Constantly harassed by man who looks like an egg
The night grows long, and the thread falls down, I will see you all some place else
-Жуков (Zhukov)
>>711165744
>xxxpussydestoryerxxx
skills
>360 no scope
>Cheto dust
defects
>Jew
>Holocaust denyer
>>711165744
Name
>Ruskies
Abilities
>Vodka
>Gopnik
>Stroganoff
>Spetnaz
>stalker: shadows of Chernobyl
Defects
>Krokodil
>PCP
>Very cold
>Vehicles reach max speed of 55mph
>>711165744
>name
Jack Burton
>abilities
dumb luck
charisma
i have a truck
>defects
if part of a group, can't be any other white guys in it
Name
>Gregor
Abilities
>Very fit, capable of running long distances and has enough bulk to take on pro boxers
>has a cool sword I guess. Looks like a normal "leaf blade" type of sword, steel cadaloy construction.
>Has a lot of snacks on his person at all times
>Can do yoga
Defects
>Speaks terribly in every languag he knows, can hardly understand his English, french, Spanish, German or Russian.
>refuses to wear normal paramilitary body armor or uniforms, and dresses up like a light infantry from the 1500s.
>Asks for all his pay in gold
>Is kind of gay
>>711181550
Great film.
>Big Trouble in Little China
