Feels thread?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels thread?
>Be 25, broke, no money, no job, can't pay rent, no food left in the fridge
>Mom lives on the other side of the country, says "Come here, give it a shot, anon"
>Figure fuck it, I've got just enough money to drive there if I sleep in my car
>Throw away/donate everything that I can't fit into my tiny korean hatchback and drive 30+ hours across the country
>Fucking hate it there
>Eventually find a good paying job, though, making more than most of my friends back home, even the ones with a degree
>Get a kick ass apartment, fix my life
>Or at least, the money
>Homesick as fuck
>Start talking with old girlfriend back home every day
>Arrange a visit, use all my vacation and sick time to take two weeks off to go see her
>>710951705
Go on...
>>710951705
>Finally get up there, so excited to see her
>The first night, she's busy with work and stuff.
>No big deal, it's almost christmas, she works retail
>Second day she can't get time to see me until 10 PM
>Hang out for a few hours in my hotel room
>Third day, same thing
>Fourth day, blows me off entirely
>Fuck.
>Drove across the country to get fucking ignored
>>710951886
>Get message on facebook from old female acquaintence, haven't seen her in years
>Go to her house, get drunk, have a really good time
>Do it again the next day or two
>Really fucking hit it off, it's cool
>Drive back home
>Talk to this girl every. single. day.
>Every day I tell her how much I hate it on this part of the country
>Every day she tells me I should move in with her.
>Want to, but I know I can't handle living with a girl as beautiful and amazing as her platonically
>One day she finally says, "Anon, if you come up here, we can start a relationship"
>>710951886
Damn, that sucks. I spent 4 years sitting right next to the girl of my dreams; all the while I was nothing more than a breeze on her shoulder. Finally got gf, she's black. Grandparents don't like her. LIFE is out to fuck you and you basically spend your entire life trying to unfuck your self.
>>710952075
>Pack my bags
>Same thing as last time, get rid of everything that won't fit in my shitty korean hatchback
>Drive the 30+ hours back across the country
>Things are amazing, we get along so well
>Relationship starts moving really fast, but whatever, I really like this girl, might actually be falling in love
>Shit was fantastic
>For a while
>>710952253
I hate how things only feel good for a time... then the sad reality sets back in, it settles in like a cancer that never kills you.
>>710952253
>Been working shitty bouncer job to pay the bills until I can get back into my field
>Girl's been acting weird, not responding to texts, staying at her mom's house
>Come home after working grueling 10 hours shift
>House is a fucking mess after I spent hours cleaning it earlier
>Half of my booze is gone
>Flip out, text her, stop being a bitch, we need to talk
>I know, she says
>What's going on, I ask
>I'm not really comfortable with this arrangement anymore
>Do I need to find somewhere else to live? I ask.
>Yeah.
>>710952493
Damn
>>710952493
What did you do to fuck up so badly?
>>710952493
>Go to my dad's house, 6 hours away
>Gotta go somewhere to collect myself, that's all I wanted
>She takes that as me moving out immediately, tells me to come get my shit and fuck off
>I have nowhere to go
>She's acting hysterical, I don't want to go there by myself, have my good friend come with me to see that I'm not hitting her or some stupid shit
>She and my friend talk the whole time I load my car up
>He can't fit in my car to take him back home
>She gives him a lift
>I go to the park, get ready for some homeless bullshit
>She texts me, "Where are you staying, anon"
>I don't have anywhere to go, I tell her
>Come back home
>Fine
>Go back, unload a little bit of my shit
>She agrees to let me stay till I find a place
>Few days later
>"Anon I'm going on a date tonight"
>"Alright, I'll find somewhere else to be for the night"
>Call my good friend, who had come along with me before
>He's the one she's going on a date with
>Fuck
>>710952865
>She suggests he just comes over and we all hang out
>Whatever, I'm already getting drunk at this point
>Starts out cool
>Quickly degrades to me being the third wheel on the first date between my best friend, and the girl I'm fucking in love with
>Later that night he asks me if it's cool, and if I had feelings for her
>Tell him no, it's not fucking cool, and I do still have feelings for her
>Says okay man
>Next day, he's still there, we start drinking again
>He steps out of the room for a minute
>Girl turns to me
>"Anon, you need to, well, go somewhere."
>"Why?"
>She wanted to have sex with my best friend
>I fucking lost it
>Stormed out of the house
>Drove to the park about 20 miles away, totally fucking shit faced drunk in the middle of the day
>Park, break down, call my mom on the other side of the country, ask to come back
>Dont' really remember, but apparently said some messed up shit to the girl and my friend
>Packed my shit up
>Went back to the other side of the country
>>710953207
>Try to get my job back
>They refuse to re-hire me because of a write-up a year and a half ago, that was for a violation that is no longer enforced
>Fuck
>Been sleeping in my mom's house ever since
>Living off what little bit of money I have left
>Can't find fucking work
The killer part of it is, I still spend all day texting back and forth with her. She's the only friend I have anymore, and really, talking to her is the only thing I have to look forward to.
I tell everyone that I'm gonna get some work, save up money, and go back to my home town, be around her and my friends again.
But honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna be around that much longer.
>>710952783
Literally, the reason she gave me was that I told her I loved her.
>>710953513
Shit dude.
Anon I know this'll sound stereotypical but please do not give up. I know it's hard everyday but you have to push on. If you can't do it for yourself do it for those you care about even if they don't care as much as you do.
Are there any other employers by you?
>>710953513
Try lying to work about family drama or some shit? Or is that really far-fetched. Beg?
I don't know how it works, but tysm for the read, going through something like that but not nearly as fucked or risky.
>>710954078
I don't want to go the bad way out, but it's tempting. It would destroy my mom, though. So far as employers go, not really. I have a lead on a job in my field but I'm not really holding my breath; moving across the country twice in three months looks kind of bad.
>>710954099
Good luck man. Shit sucks.
>>710954992
I don't know you, anon, but I love you, dude. It'll be okay. You've done your suffering, things will be much better sooner. Much much better. You'll get things you never even knew you wanted. Hang in there.
>>710955430
Yeah. If I can just save up a few thousand dollars, I can go back, and try again. But do it right this time, living by myself.
I don't know if that's every going to happen, but the fantasy keeps me going.
>>710955858
Anon you got this dude. You don't know me and I don't know you, but you got this. You can talk to me on kik as well (SiberianBanana) if you want to vent more, though.
ill throw in a couple pictures
>>710956318
>>710956354
>>710956390
>>710956438
aand im done goodnight anons
Anyone in here who is super depresed, try drugs and alcohol
Whole lot better than killing yourself!
>>710956713
alcohol is good yep
I also eat a lot of really rare steak
I also have been hoping to suffer a massive heart attack more and more each day as Im too much of a pussy to kill myself otherwise.
>>710956713
just started drinking heavily when I can, helps when I'm too drunk to comprehend anything but after that I just feel even worse
>>710956713
They only help for so long, I did drugs to deal with bullshit for a solid 5 years, now they just make me anxious and spiral me further down. Only thing left is herion and im way too smart for that path
>>710957749
Wow, I feel so bad for her. I wonder what people did with people like this before the industrial revolution.
We'Lloyd get better one day. That's what everyone says, time with health all wounds
How's it going, anons? It's been a while since I stopped by one of these threads, but I'm feeling pretty shitty tonight. Anyone still here?
>>710959084
sobbing in a bathroom at 1 am with my laptop, eyup.
>>710959178
I know the feeling. It's been a while now, but I had almost the exact same experience earlier this year. God bless feels threads. What's got you down, anon?
I feel like I let myself go. I am only 19, so I know it isn't too late for me. I'm getting a little fat and I just don't feel attractive any more. All I've ever wanted in my life is to feel as attractive as these instagram people.
I feel so ugly right now, like nobody likes me, or nobody will like me. I've been single for a year now after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years who the more I think about, I realize she was kind of ugly too. I always knew I could do better, but now I feel like I can't. I'm going to hit the gym soon. I can't let myself waste away. I need to make positive changes. I want to be attractive, and I want people to want me, but I think this mentality will be the end of me.
>>710959797
The fact that you're trying to change it means a lot, though. You may not realize it, but as much as you beat yourself up, taking real action to fix your perceived shortcomings as among the best things you can possibly do. And hey, if you're able to stick with it, nothing feels better than watching yourself improve.
>>710959797
I also spent 3 days studying for an exam and had to get it deferred cause I still felt lost. Fuck logic courses. I went outside that night and starred at the stars at the lake and just cried my eyes out. It was one of those nights I just wanted to cry. My whole body ached of stress, and I got high as fuck to try to calm myself. I've been smoking weed every day for the past two weeks. I wanted to experiment again and see how it feels, and it really really helped me sleep, which is something that is usually very difficult for me. I think I have to quit that too.
>>710951046
>some days
all days
Welp. Today would be my gf's and my 6th anniversary. In a little more than a month it'll be 3 years since she died.
I try and pretend like I've healed and moved on but around this time of year I start hearing her voice and seeing her in the corner of my eye, always just faster than I can catch her. Logically I understand that she'd want me to move on, that holding onto her for so long isn't healthy, that I didn't know it would happen, and had no way of preventing her death. But there's just that disconnect from the emotional that makes it so fuckin hard to accept.
How're y'all anons tonight?
>>710959364
i feel like im wasting my life, like i could be doing something right now. im very much a night person, i am most motivated at night, and i feel like laying here i could be doing something.
i'm also really into photography if anyone's interested. pic related, when i visited new jersey. i didn't mean to center the couple in the photo at all, but it just came out that way
I'm 22. Dad passed away 3 years ago. And mom passed away last year exactly the day after my birthday, live only with my 10 y.o little sister. Trying to save money for her school and our bills. Life is sucks
>>710960098
It just sucks knowing that there's just some things you'll never be because of genetics. I'll never be that beautiful without plastic surgery. I'll probably never be asian coke whore skinny again.
>>710952365
always a hallmark of a good plot
>>710953637
that's a pretty big fuck up
>>710952865
can't be that coincidental
fake and gay
>>710960502
I know.
>>710960698
Yeah. There's no way it could be the guy she had just been reintroduced to the other day. Totally fake and gay.
>>710953513
I am gonna be nice here.
You 'friend' sounds like a selfish whore. Ditch her and go out and make new friends. Seriously.
End me
>>710960321
I know how you feel, Anon. Sometimes logic and emotion just don't mesh. I'm going through something similar. Like when you logically understand there's no reason to be sad, but you are anyway. Or when there is absolutely no way you could ever be with that girl, but you can't force the feelings away. Goddamn human brain. Sometimes your own head can fuck you over.
>>710960325
Yeah, I'm also feeling like wasted space right about now. What's got you down? Also, photography is a pretty nice hobby to have, bro. I took a course last year and fell in love, though I've not had time to pursue it since then. Keep making photos, anon.
>>710960401
Not with that attitude. Every American action movie always has to have that one point where the hero is completely beaten down and broken, but then they win against insurmountable odds. It makes for one hell of a victory dance, let me tell you.
Here's some feels music for all you sad anons out there https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aZh261KZWI
>>710960917
Yeah. I agree partly. She did apologize, though, and has practically been begging me to come back up there. Even going so far as to help me apartment hunt.
Sucker for punishment, I guess.
>>710960995
I'm ready
>>710960995
>>710961055
I wish that I was never born. I have no use on this planet.
>>710961055
Oh you better return you glorious mf for slapping us all around with those feels.
>>710961273
you think any of us had a choice to be born? stop being a stupid faggot
>>710961032
another one for good measure
>>710961467
Nigger
>>710961579
I second this, Anon is being a retarded nigger
>>710961579
>>710961786
You're morans.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49Gz0Jfp-jI
>>710961032
It's a very frustrating thing being self-aware of your emotions, but unable to do anything about it (it doesn't help that I'm Bipolar). It's like you can stand on the tracks and point and yell "Train! There's a train coming!" and you can even rationalize whether it is being powered by coal, steam, or electricity, but if you don't have the willpower to get off the fucking tracks, then that knowledge doesn't prevent you from being mowed over by the train, now does it?
What exactly are you going through Anon?
>>710961055
God this shit gets me every time.
>>710961477
>>710960325
While they're a little fuzzy, I think it adds to the charm of the photos. I think you definitely have an eye for beauty Anon. Keep up the good work.
>>710962269
thanks, you're legitimately the fist to say this <3
last one i promise, this one isn't really good but i like it personally
>i was a clown once
>a happy clown
>the happiest clown in the world
>at least i felt like it
>i used to bring joy to kids
>everyone was happy
>until... THAT DAY
>a kid's Bday party on Halloween
>what a bless
>went to bring joy and happiness to this kid
>but he was not happy
>he was terrified
>but why? why wasn't he happy?
>nobody was happy
>everyone was scared... scared of... me.
>they started trowing stuff at me
>kids pointing out and screaming SCARY CLOWN
>that day i became unhappy...
>that day i became... a sad clown.
>>710962196
Great song.
>>710962507
wrong one fuck
>>710960356
keep on, you and her deserve something better
>>710962269
I really feel that train analogy. Well said, Anon. My story's not really as grand as some of the others here, but here's the short version. I've messed up a lot of my relationships with people close to me and I'm constantly reminded of it when I see their faces on a near-daily basis. I feel like every day spent in this town is killing me, but it's still nearly a year before I'm leaving for good. And as if it wasn't already cliche enough, I've fallen in love with a girl who doesn't love me back. My brain's all fucked up. I don't think I have any certifiable mental disorders, but sometimes the emotional instability can interfere with normal function, and the chaos in my mind can border on physical pain. I don't know, it's hard to articulate...
Overall I'm Feeling sorry for myself for a bunch of normal shit that people go through, and feeling even worse when I think that people survived far worse than what I'm going through, yet I'm living a relatively good life and am strongly contemplating suicide.
I go thrift store shopping a lot. I like to wear vintage clothes, and it's always fun to find random things. Today when I was at a Thrift Town, I found someone's old Law degree from the University of Michigan. He graduated in 1950. It was only $3, and it looks rad, so I got it.
Later when I got home, I decided to do some Googling and see what this guy did with himself. I also wanted to see if he had any living relatives that might want this back. I figured he had to be dead, because why would a living person dump his law degree at a thrift store? Anyway, when I put his name in Google, only a few pages popped up. His memorial page from the funeral home, a digital copy of the Michigan yearbook with his picture, and some random briefs from some law cases that he worked long ago. He was apparently a lawyer at an oil company.
His memorial page depressed me. Only a few scant comments from old coworkers and friends. No living relatives. Never married. No kids. No brothers or sisters. It only listed that he was survived by a cousin and his "best friend". I tried Googling those names and found nothing. At that point I had a realization, that this man probably worked his whole life, without anything really to show for it. He lived 92 years, without ever getting married. How lonely that must have been.
How close are all of us to that point though? I mean, eventually all of our shit is going to end up in a thrift store, or a maybe a landfill. Eventually there will be no one to remember us. We will be forgotten, just like this man. He had no one. I wanted to give this degree back to someone, but there is no one to give it to. I will be just like him some day. We will all be like him some day. I'm already depressed, but now I am more so. I don't want to end up forgotten, but I suppose it is inevitable.
Here is the only picture of him that I could find online. It's from the Michigan yearbook from when he graduated. I will keep his degree as a reminder of how fleeting life is.
>>710960356
Keep on anon, your little sister needs you more than ever. You can do it, I know it.
dang bro. sad but true. fucking sad but true.
>>710960356
Hang in there anon
>>710963177
Thank you. Shit came to me during one of my few lucid times in the year after the bae died, and I have yet to come up with a better way to explain it.
>Overall I'm Feeling sorry for myself for a bunch of normal shit that people go through, and feeling even worse when I think that people survived far worse than what I'm going through, yet I'm living a relatively good life and am strongly contemplating suicide.
Anon, somebody else having a broken leg does not somehow heal your broken arm. People have problems, some 'worse' than yours, some not so much; that doesn't delegitimize your own issues. While, yeah, if you were complaining about your yacht not being big enough I might be skeptical, but problems are problems, regardless of how 'good' your life may be. From what I'm reading I think, if you're in a good enough financial place, therapy would be good for you. It might not be the holy fuckin grail a lot of people make it out to be, but it's a great way to have a neutral sounding board for your thoughts, and it helps put a lot of things in perspective. Plus, if you really do have any mental illnesses or such (which I have a feeling you might), knowing what you have and being put on medicine for it (if applicable) definitely helps.
Oddly enough, you're basically in the same situation that my best friend is in, albeit she's moving much sooner, and she has a significant other to move in with.
Why the year before you leave?
Love the nightly "I should just drop out and live a shitty life, that's what a fraud like me deserves" thoughts.
>>710951705
> 33, fat, gynecomastia, got a nice grab bag of issues from lupus, virgin, never even had a gf, family is insane, I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of crying unless I'm distracting myself with vidya or porn, concentration is shit, can't talk to people I don't know especially women, occasionally (like every 5-7 yrs) get some woman's interest who I don't like and end up fucking things up anyway, got intrusive thoughts all the time, slowly realizing that my fucked up personality traits are from insane shit my parents did or said when I was younger
> I'm trying to save for a shotgun to blast my brains all over my tiny apartment
>>710964558
i feel this. even better when accompanied by the "I should destroy all my relationships and isolate myself so I can off myself in peace" thoughts.
>>710964865
Classic combo. I choose to not even make too many relationships because why would anyone want to spend time with me?
>>710953513
You are a giant fucking pussy
Why are girls so complicated? I don't understand them. It's like one moment they want something and then a few seconds later their feelings are gone. I don't understand. Currently out of alcohol wish I had more :(
>>710962590
Of course Anon <3. I like city views like that where you're passing by in a car. Makes everything seem smaller.
>>710964959
The worst part is the paranoia when you do have relationships; even when they say everything is good and they want to help/listen/be there/whatever, there's always that inkling that eats away at you that they're lying and pretending. Because why would you deserve that kind of support?
shit sucks yo'
I feel like I need someone to control my life. I want to do things but I have no motivation to do anything myself.
I want to be helpful and always tell people to give me a call if they need a hand with anything but nobody ever asks for my help.
So instead I just sit and wait and do nothing while the days pass me by.
Maybe I should get a life coach.
My roommate stopped me from cutting myself again today. She definitely doesn't know that, and I'm not going to tell her. I pulled out a fresh x-acto blade from the drawer and loaded it, and was about to go to town on my legs when she texted me and asked if I wanted to get coffee. I had been more depressed than usual today, and I made the only good decision I've made and decided to go.
We talked a lot. We came back to the apartment, chatted, and stuff. We're both single right now, although she has guys over every so often. It was a little weird at some points, because we were saying a lot of the same things about how it seems a lot of the good people are already taken. For the record, she's 25 and I'm 28. I was with a girl for 6 years before she broke my heart, and she was with a guy for 3 years before he broke her heart. I've been with girls since then, but nothing really serious. Anyway, I've always thought my roommate was cute, but today in particular I really wanted to be with her. After talking for hours, and hearing us share all these similarities we have, it just felt like in my mind that we belonged together in some weird way. I don't think it's going to happen, though. There's no way that it would as long as we are living together, and she's best friends with a girl that I dated for about 5 months, which is how I ended up living with her in the first place.
It's so frustrating. I don't feel that there are many women that I am genuinely attracted to, and she's one of them, but I don't think there's any way that we could end up together. She appreciates a lot of the things that I deal with, like my anxiety, being depressed, difficult family dynamics, and a host of other things. I know that she isn't the only one who can appreciate these things, but she's right here and definitely available. It's not going to happen though.
I'm just so lonely. All I really want is someone to cuddle with me, I don't even care about sex anymore.
>>710965693
Oh man you're so right about the inkling of doubt in every relationship. It kills me, prevents me from ever getting out of bed some days.
>>710956438
I thought this was a feels thread, not ylyl.
>>710965897
I know the pain, just want to someone to be with, don't even care about sex or anything.
Question: How long have you been cutting for? I myself have gone back to it 2 months ago. Thinking about admitting myself because I keep on getting worse and worse.
>>710965980
The worst part is who do you talk to about it? No matter what they say, you'll be doubtful of it, so you end up playing soundboard pong in your own mind, and then you just 'confirm' everything you're thinking as right because, hey, it's not like anyone is showing you any verifiable proof otherwise.
The brain is a fickle bitch
>>710965897
>I don't think there's any way that we could end up together.
You could just try asking her. In fact you better fucking try. Think of all the people who would kill to even be in a situation like yours. I have spent 12 years without being emotionally attracted to a single person and here you are living with someone that you are. Literally a golden opportunity and you better fucking take the shot or you will spend the rest of your life regretting it.
>>710956354
why did I read that
>>710966658
You're putting to words what I've felt for years, thank you so much for that. I tell myself I need to probably try to form a relationship with someone, especially a girl, because that'd help me gain some self confidence, but I lack any faith that anyone would even want that with me, so I just hang at home alone telling myself I am a useless fraud
>18 yo girl
>Has a roof, food, moms pays for everything
>Has a boyfriend
>Nothing feels like enough
>Depressed as fuck even tho i have nothing to complain about
>Hates everyone, mostly myself.
>Is a dumb fucking bitch that is never happy
>Fucking wish i was dead.
+ im fat as fuck cuz i always eat fucking junk food.
Girl question: I find this girl cute, we've talked a few times, met up at a few parties before, and had her and her friends over once for a little party. I think I want to ask her out to just see if anything COULD happen. Do I just text her to ask her out on a date? Or do I have to wait until I run into her again in person?
>>710967077
too soon
>>710967107
in person is more meaningful
>>710967107
In this world it's a pretty normal thing to ask someone over a text, and you never know when the next time you're going to see them. you have to take chances in life Anon!
>>710967107
Take initiative bro. If you like the broad make it known. The worst she can say is no.
>>710964865
I was thinking this a few months ago. Broke up with gf of 3 years in the ending of August because I was planning to kill myself. A few days later she had a new bf who she would fuck like a rabbit. Turns out my will to live is stronger than my feelings of wanting to die. I text her mid September with the mindset of getting back with her (I didn't know she was in a relationship at the time) and telling her all the messed up thoughts and my plans for myself. I felt like shit, anons. Seeing her bf easily accepted in her family while it took me a year to get along with them. Yet here I am alone, feeling shitty while smoking a cigarette. Mom kicked me out when I was 17 because of her boyfriend at the time. Aunt kicked me out at 19 after I helped her move and unpack. I work two shitty jobs and still can't afford to move out of my grandmother's home. Dropped out of college at 19 due to clinical anxiety and depression. I was all set too, 4 year scholarship at UIC, and I fucked it all up. My relationship with the bit of family I enjoy is going to shit, I have only 1 friend and he's as fuck up as I am. Everyday I just dream of my life ending, but yet I don't want it to end. I just work, smoke, and drink my life away yet I'm only 20 years old.
Bumping with pics. Post some too, fags.
>>710966996
>nothing to complain about
>fat as fuck
here's your problem
>>710965777
We're on the same boat, anon.
>>710966259
The first time I cut myself I was 14. I was so stupid, I got a butter knife and "cut" my wrist until I had torn all the skin away. It never really bled, but it hurt pretty bad. I didn't really know what I was doing, I was so hateful towards myself and so angry that I needed an outlet. I knew that cutting was people did, so I did what I thought you were supposed to do.
It didn't take long before I really knew how to cut, but I was skittish and didn't really cut myself too bad. I cut a lot when I was in high school, on my wrists like an idiot. I did it so close to my hand, my long sleeves still didn't really hide it very well. It was the only outlet that I had for my anxiety. I hated myself, and I suppose I still do in some ways. After high school, I moved away from home, went to college, and my depression got better for a time. I stopped cutting.
When things were really bad with my ex of 6 years, that's when I started again. When she separated, I got the x-acto knife that I had been using for projects and cut myself very slowly and painfully on my wrist. When she broke up with me, I was a mess. I started smoking weed all the time so I wouldn't cut myself and my anxiety would be tolerable.
Recently I started cutting again, like the past month. I am applying for a new job, and I need to have a clean drug test. My anxiety has been really bad, and cutting has been my only relief. It sounds weird to say that, but it's true. I avoid my wrists and cut my thighs. No one ever sees those, so the cuts are much easier to hide. I've been cutting almost every day to deal with things. I like the stinging sensation. I like seeing the dark red blood leak from my legs. I have a dark wish that my legs scar up pretty bad from all the cutting I've been doing, like it's some sort of badge of honor. I just know that it helps me deal with the crippling loneliness that I feel every moment. It makes me stop thinking about wanting to die, even for a few moments.
>>710967434
No
I will post this instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugJfjmxOR2I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSxJe2JWe70
>>710967503
I know but im so depressed i kind of dont even wanna help myself. Im just waiting for something very bad to happen to just kill myself.
>>710966996
Your only real problem is you are lazy, the saying "the devil makes work for idle hands" is what you need to say to yourself when you feeling down. I bet my last dollar that the times you feel down is when you are basking on the couch doing sweet fuck all.
>>710967650
Thanks for posting, either way. I love Bob.
Everyone in this thread should mass suicide and kill either Trump or Hitlery I don't give a shit iits been too long since a political war has happened in America
>>710967777
SInce my boyfriend lives with me i cant be alone with myself and be sad.. So i dont even think about it, i just am and i keep eating
>>710967841
We're all going down, anyway. Let's try to enjoy or do whatever we like while we're at it.
>>710967954
this will be us soon. My country is heading for a revolution its self. I just sit here. i don't want to lose my home.
>>710967954
And I want to watch people die, life is boring
>>710967841
Hitlery should die
>>710967581
Go Kill yourself.
You wont because you are an attention whore who hasn't the smarts to do the normal attention whore stuff like FaceBook.
The more doctors you see the more attention whorish you will become the only escape is to sell your body because in your fucked mind that is where you put self worth.
>>710966815
Fuck off. She's already told me that she would never want to live with a boyfriend until they were engaged. In addition, my ex/her best friend straight up accused her of having feelings for me, and she flat out denied it.
Also, have you considered what would happen if I told her how I felt and she rejected me? I'd have to find somewhere else to live tomorrow, because there's no way she's going to want me to stay here.
Go back to lurking, edgy faggot.
>>710966996
tits or gtfo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUea0h4DZTs
>>710967777
I saw those quads
>>710967349
>>710967299
Gonna text her tomorrow bros, I'll update tomorrow if there is another feels thread
>>710968322
theyre gross.
one more bump...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWJXTdCVsKI
>be me
>20 and still have innocent outlook on the world
>excited to start life with my soul mate
>marry high school sweetheart
>goes good for first year
>smashing 3+ times a day
>doing fun shit together
>start getting distant
>tells me she doesnt know if she wants to be with me anymore
>tells me she might be lesbian
>niggawat.jpg
>get divorced after 2 years
>chops her hair off and starts dating a girl
>im in town and she keeps texting me asking if we can try again
>tell her no, she's been the one to break up with me whenever we split
>her mom tries to guilt me into it, she misses me too
>me now
>going through the motions at work just to come home and drink
>get drunk and wallow in self pity every night
>few friends i have and coworkers think im just the fun guy to be around since i drink so much
>dying on the inside
>think about ways of killing myself to get through the day
Some nights I like to sleep with a gun in my mouth. Maybe in a dream ill pull the trigger.
>>710960325
that pic sucks fag, kys
>>710968404
Yea. They probably are. But I'm a lonely narcissistic fuck. So show me those pig tits.
>>710968183
>>710961477
is this a pisstake or u an autist?
Night, /b/, have a good one.
>>710967903
Dump the boyfriend, you are with someone who likes the person you dont like. He will keep you as the person you dont like.
You cant eat and have time to be sad when you are working or doing something, if you cant get a job then join a sports club, people who are active are normally more mentally balanced than people who dont, so they wont be cruel about your weight, I am crazy into sports a member of 3 different clubs, most of the members have imperfect bodies and aren't that skilled, it's just fun to push yourself with others no matter the result.
>>710968598
So other than being spiteful is there any reason not to take her back?
>>710968994
It would be so embarassing , i have huge social anxiety
>>710956354
cant stop crying
hello Everyone!! Blarg here. nice to meet you all!! been a while since i have been on one of these. do you want me to post the old shit i have on my laptop i found? its the old bwahh thread shit.
>>710969040
Maybe the principle of the thing? She decided she'd rather lick carpet than be with the man she married. What does that say about him if he accepts someone like that back into his life? You've got to surround yourself with people who make you proud.
>>710969118
sure dude or dudess
>>710967581
Sorry about everything mate same boat as you. Its gotten to the point with my legs that I can't see what they use to be, so many cuts it bothers me. Which in return makes me do it all over again, Stopped for 3 years but its kicked back up at me.
>>710969276
switching oveer
>>710968714
No just the truth, if you have a genuine mental illness you will be all over the place with your emotions, it feels like you are taking drugs.
If you are just on a pity fest then you will always feel down, always want to tell people how down you, cut yourself just in case they are deaf.
I used to run a mental illness support group, people with genuine mental illness nearly always try and hide it and keep it from others. You recognise that there is definitely something not normal with you and you can't control it and the last thing you want is to be some sort of freak.
>>710968183
Different anon then him but lets be honest here, some people find it helpful. I've taken up drinking before for comfort no help, smoking nothing, opiates were great til they started to fuck me up, so back to my first one cutting. Shit is awful and is a awful habit but it does help others much like smoking/drinking. At least with this it only leaves a scar.
>Never have cut my wrist til last night
>Only my thighs and lower legs
>>710969358
I also used to cut pretty bad, i think im gonna do it again tonight
>>710969380
don't understand (?)
>>710969040
We split in our dating relationship 2 times for the same excuse. "I don't know if I want to be with you anymore." Tried for months while we were still married to fix things. Not forceful "LOVE ME AGAIN" shit but go on dates to the zoo and stuff, hoping to restore those feelings. She wouldn't so much as show me affection though. She tried getting back with me while she's still dating the same girl. I asked her why would she do that if she has someone that's happy to be with her. Yet again "I don't know if this is what I want." I can't handle being tossed away over and over.
I wish I could turn back time, because that was the happiest I've been. I had genuine feelings of joy that I rarely ever get. I felt alive and the whole "us against the world" gave me a purpose outside of selfish reasons. I don't even know how to act around women anymore honestly.
>>710969593
Just be safe. Been thinking about admitting myself as I am starting to worry about myself. Oh the joys of the world
>>710968217
Shes not going to tell your ex she has feelings for you genius
starting the dump sorry it took so long.
>>710969816
>>710968414
Oh, look... its raining.
>>710969769
:( im so lonely
>>710969072
>It would be so embarassing
right up to the point where you feel like you are going to pass out because you cant get enough air and then the only thing in your mind will be "fuck I can't breath"..........your mantra must be "the devil makes work for idle hands"......fuck medication, fuck therapy.........when you are feeling down bring that into your mind.....you will be doing nothing when it happens.....so you can say of course I am sad because I am doing nothing with my hands.
>>710969855
>>710969915
just posting this old stuff i found on my laptop from highschool.
>>710969960
>>710969905
Id really like to do it but i feel so lonely id want someone to support me ..
>>710970013
>>710966846
I'm glad I can help Anon. From what I've learned, and what helps get me through, is the fact that it's really just baby steps and staying committed to trying. Find a hobby that you like and try and branch out and make acquaintances from there. Make yourself happy by doing what you love to do, or finding something to love to do, and you can find people through that. Whenever those thoughts come up, break them down and analyze them for what they really are: dumb fears and the thoughts of a neurotic paranoid brain. You're not useless, and you're not a fraud. You may have fallen off the wagon but you can always get back on. Even if you start but find yourself getting caught up again, falling out of routine, etc etc, just remember that that progress ain't always a linear thing, and as long as you're always trying to progress forward, then you're never failing.
>>710967107
In person will be more personal and you're less likely to fuck up with communication about your intentions/tone. However unless you know when you'll see her next, text will suffice.
>>710967425
>I'm only 20 years old.
Lemme preface this with the fact that it's 2am, and I'm exhausted with no brain filter right now, so I apologize if this comes off as patronizing but I'll say this: While your problems are not invalidated by your age - in fact, since you're so young this is probably the worst thing you've ever faced, and I want to give you an exceeding amount of credit for having survived through all of it - you are still only 20. If my dead beat ass can recover, you can still pick your life back up and turn shit around. I believe in you Anon.
>Hi my name is Anon, I have the attention span of a golden retriever and the typing speed of a rock, pls kill before I try to reply again
:/
>>710969859
>>710969816
Now available in WEBM
I haven't gone to school in two weeks. I'm so depressed right now that all I do is sleep. I hate waking up. I just want to stay in my dreams.
>>710970044
>>710969880
Things get better mate, trust me.
3 nights of begging myself to go through with it and well last night I gave it a honest shot went into shock and passed out.
>Walked down to a forest where I use to go as a teen
>Sliced up like a forth of July
>Ended up bleeding heavily (as planned) but ended up going into shock (kinda as planned)
>Decided to walk around town not giving a shit bleeding out (8/9pm ish)
>Cop stops me because I am walking everywhere and I am looking "sketchy".
>End up getting held for mental health as well as getting sent to the ER
>Lied the shit out of the place to get out of the mental ward
>"No No I ain't suicidal" "It was for release" more bullshit like that
>Discharged at 230am walked home.
>Now I am debating on going at it again.
>Anti depressants don't do fucking shit.
>>710970185
cool!!! dude thats awesome. that is such an old thing im happy to see it still going. and making its rounds./
>>710970308
>>710969790
And the guys that she brings over to fuck almost every weekend are just to make me jealous, right? You sound like you're an 18 year old kissless virgin.
>>710970339
>>710969855
OK you have the script, when are you going to make the movie ?
>>710970129
I wish I could cry but I can't. I don't remember how to.
Sounds like a cliche but its true.
>>710970357
>>710970379
honestly threw this script out before to a director but they didnt like the idea. said it felt to classless due to the nature being on such an obscure life and little real backstory.
>>710970408
>>710970407
Don't worry. I've been there, it feels weird and kind of bad. But may some day come that something makes you feel totally weak and or useless about a situation, or maybe something else, who knows... just a song from your childhood... whatever, may make you cry.
SORRY ABOUT THE ENGLISH; NOT NATIVE SPEAKER
>>710970565
>>710970565
boo
>>710970736
>>710970766
>>710970565
This is why turtles are often so sad
>>710970802
these old pictures bring back the time i wasted on here.
>>710961052
dude. she told you to come back while she fucked your 'best friend'. don't fall for it multiple times...
Hey at least half you fuckers have probably had sex before.
>>710970194
I think I'm just too dumb for this one. Can someone explain it?
>>710970852
>>710959797
Sounds like you're consumed by something awful.
You're 19. What you know now is nothing. Your values won't reflect much of who you are in half a decade....
>>710970920
>>710970905
basiclly a man works at a coffee shop, watches this persons life change but one thing always was the same coffee, then the store closes. for good.
>>710970905
Story makes itself seem like it's being told from the dude's perspective, when in reality it's the girl telling the story. The story is basically what the girl wishes the guy was thinking.
>>710971145
>>710971162
Okay that's what I figured, but then I doubled back and it said, "I work in a coffee shop"
Still an excellent read, though.
>>710970030
It's a mental illusion, you think that company is what you need because good company can make any situation better. But it is just a crutch or band aid, you are just borrowing someone else's happiness you need to learn to make your own. That begins when you are doing things on your own that bring pleasure, that's why exercise is a good thing, people can't say "oh look you are having problems breathing let me do it for you" it forces you to get into the habit of helping yourself because you will literally fall flat on your face if you dont.........most other shit in life, someone is always going to help you and prevent you from doing it yourself, you lose your self confidence and then you become anxious in groups........exercise is good because you can see the others in the group are focusing on their own moves and well being and no one else, other stuff and social settings you can see people are watching each other.
If I am in a bar and see a ham planet then I really notice and can think stuff about how disgusting they are......when I am exercising or playing sport I might catch them in a glance but then it's over and out my mind immediately...most sports people and club members only have admiration for someone who is massively overweight because when they started they were probably a lot better in shape and it was fucking hard so they imagine how hard it must be for you.......
Stopping imagining yourself as useless and that other people are seeing you as useless, get away from shallow materialistic bullshit like watching TV, playing video games, going to the movies, going to bars.........there are a lot of good people having fun that wont judge you negatively just because of your looks......find them.......exercise.
>>710971176
>>710961467
no one ever asked to be born my dude doesn't mean you can't wish it didn't happen
>>710971290
>>710971323
so many picturess. over 800
my girlfriend and I of the past 4 years broke up tonight. I don't know how to feel or what to do so I'm just going back to what I've always done which is vidya and 4chan and wasting time hard. I'm scared /b/
>>710953513
You brought all this upon yourself. Don't wallow in self pity when it all happened because you were acting like a retard.
>>710971252
Thanks..
>>710971391
>>710971391
>>710971400
life happens. things change, i moved forward from 4chan and videogaming for a long time got my girlfriend and now that is all we do is hang out and video games.
>>710971426
>>710971538
>>710956354
Damn, it's not like I wanted to sleep or anything...
>>710971579
>>710953637
you some kind of queer or something?
>>710971629
>>710971722
>>710971774
sorry double post.
>>710957749
sounds awesome tbh fam
>>710971796
>>710967581
I read in another thread that snapping a rubber band against your wrist helps to not cut.
>>710971828
>>710971865
>>710971844
I do that to not eat because i gained a few more pounds then i want to have recently due to things.
>>710971937
>>710972002
>>710972002
MY FAVORITE one of everything
>>710953513
You really are stupid uh? You need to think before doing stuff like moving across the country with someone you barely know, holy fuck just use the head over your shoulders and not the one in your pants for once
>>710972044
>>710972113
>>710972140
>>710972171
>>710972113
lol fucking faggot hippies get btfo
>>710972193
>>710971423
You should thank god that you aren't butt ugly like I am, I see so many people who are disgustingly fat but they would be a 10 if they exercised and it pisses me off because no matter what I do I will always be ugly and yet here is someone who can actually fix their ugliness and doesn't.
I exercise and do sport to compensate for my ugliness,,,,,,,,,well I used to,,,,,I'm 51 now and really dont give a fuck any more but I look back now and think that I would never have had some of the awesome friendships I had if I was handsome. I now tell people that my ugliness is a gift, it is my bigot detector, I get to find out who the horrible bigots are immediately while a pretty person might take years to find out that their friend is actually an ugly bastard inside
>>710953513
military
go infantry till you drop
die an hero
>>710972273
>earlier today
>see something I like
>want to express my amusement
>check my mfw folder
>be scrolling for a few minutes
>can't find any happy/laughing faces. Not a single one.
>>710972279
Its true.. i would be like a 6 or a 7 if i wanst as fat
>>710972336
>>710972360
Here Anon.
Space Ghost has you covered
>>710972521
>>710972559
>>710963715
Thank you anon. I'm going to save your story for the same reminder.
>>710972508
Well there you go you have the best of both worlds, a little bit ugly so you can find out who the horrible bigots are and a little bit pretty so if you exercise you can catch a pretty boy with a good heart.
Stop bitching :P
>>710965777
Nice trips btw
>>710968274
>>710972628
Where do I find more?
>>710972655
Thanks. Wasn't sure if anyone had seen it. If you're curious, this man's name was Roy Kendall Sherrill, but he went by R. Kendall Sherrill. This was his degree. Remember him, because other than me and you, no one else will.
Y'know what's sadder than all these stories? The fact that we'll never get any new ones because anons don't know how to write enticing stories anymore.
>>710970044
>>710971629
God I haven't seen these things in ages and now I'm b'awwing like a bitch.
I'm just gonna post this here to get this off of my chest, as I can't stop reading through it. I actually wrote this a year ago today, but changed the times so it'd fit for the today.
dear adelaide
god i hate how bullshit that sounds. you were never 'adelaide' after the first time we met. you were adele, addy, kitty, darling. you were mine. and now you're gone. or more accurately, you've been gone; it'll be three years this december. i hate this time of year. even though it's almost been three years, everything blurs around this time. today would be our 6th anniversary, and suddenly you're all i can think about. like how only three years ago i was planning on proposing to you. i wanted to give you the white picket fence, the kids, the stability, the world. all the shitty things i never deserved, and everything you ever wanted and more. one week i was planning on proposing, the next i was trying to figure out how to break the news to your family. funny how things work out that way huh?
i've been doing alright i guess. school has been getting better through some grueling studying but it's not where it needs to be. i'll get there. i tried some dating like i said i would, but it didn't work out too well. i saw you in everybody. the first girl had your smile - the way your face would light up, and you'd try to cover up your dimples and mouth because you were self-conscious. the 2nd gal had your voice - the soothing tenor that made me fall in love with you in the first place.
the 3rd guy had your eyes.
i haven't been on a date since then.
>>710972709
My boyfriend has a good heart. But he's happier than me. He's really a good person. But i wonder if we would both be thin, if he would be the same..
>>710972737
http://www.akimbocomics.com/
>>710960325
i am too anon wanna trade emails, id love to see some of your work!
>>710972709
My boyfriend is very kind hearted, but he's happier than me.. Even though his dad died, he wouldnt think of suicide or anything. I weonder if he would be the same if he was fit
>>710972787
I found this old laptop and thought you guys would enjoy a trip back. these comics some of them i havent seen on a single baww for feel thread for years!!
>>710972709
oops sorry for posting twice
>>710971937
minty gum helps with that I've heard. I dont really like things that are too minty but orbits sweet mint is alright.
>>710972896
>>710972949
god that was back when we where all kids and even i made one for that lonely guy.
>>710972787
it's always around this time that i develop a hair trigger temper. especially at the thought of your family.
i fucking hate your family.
i hate how they took everything of yours away from me. i hate how they barred me from your funeral; the thought of their insincere garbage eulogies and the crocodile tears over your corpse makes my blood fucking boil. i hate how they tossed you out, denied you a part of your identity, refused to acknowledge the two of us, and even still you wanted to forgive them in the end.
sometimes i wonder if you'd ever forgive me. i know it's a stupid thought; i can vividly imagine you chastising me and pointing out that you wouldn't blame me in the first place. but i blame me. and as much as i hate your family, i hate myself more. i hate that i didn't fight against your stupid fuckin insurance even though i knew first hand what the meds could do, hate that i wasn't there. i hate waking up every morning expecting to see the sun pour in and light up your hair and your sleepy face and see the smile that makes me feel like i'm the center of your fuckin universe. you were sunshine. you were warmth and happiness and safety and comfort. you inspired me to be so much more than i'd ever aspire to be, made me happier than i've ever been, brought me joy and love everything i didn't believe i deserved.
and you're fucking dead because i couldn't pick up the goddamn phone.
logically i know there is little i could've done, and my phone being off had everything to do with work and my thinking you were okay. but still. it doesn't help that your voice is back. so are the nightmares. i'm lulled asleep by your whispers only to relive that day night after night.
shit sucks right now. a whole fucking lot. but i've been here, done this. and next year i'll do this. and the year after that, and even after that, all until i die. i'll get through this, hard as it may be. we always do, don't we love?
until we meet again
shay
>>710973015
>>710970883
>tfw no gf
>>710973065
>>710973124
>>710973151
>>710961477
dehaze in post, lower your ISO and lower your shutter speed, lower iso will keep it from being this fuzzy and the lower shutter speed will allow more light to come in
>>710973194
>>710962590
ya got potential seriously whats ur email
>>710973230
>>710973275
>>710973275
...
>>710973194
https://youtu.be/diVsSr2aAPw
>>710973363
>>710973377
old shit love seeing the video every time know we did something good !
>>710973390
>>710972360
dw buddy i got you
>>710973523
>>710973607
>>710973607
fuck
>>710973652
>>710973607
Fuck you sir
>>710967077
Too fucking soon
>>710972796
Just having a good heart is never the foundation for a good relationship, the majority of people have good hearts, you can have a good heart and still be a bit of a cunt. What makes or breaks a good relationship is whether you have the same goals, if you feel like something is missing and he thinks everything is great then that is a sure sign.
Breaking a bad habit on your own is a mountain breaking a bad habit with a boyfriend/girlfriend is Everest.
My advice in these situations is to go stay with friends/family out of town, tell your boyfriend you need to find the direction that will make you happy, if he really loves you he will wait or make some sort of change himself to make you more happy, if he is quite happy to allow you to blame yourself for not being happy then he is just using you for comfort love and not real love.
>>710973678
they get way worse
>>710973726
>>710973775
>>710973820
The thought of getting into a relationship just irks the hell out of me. I remember while walking the streets of downtown in my city one night, I met up with this women outside of some restaurant
when she stopped me and said, "Anon! Anon it's me, remember? We used to hang out together and then we stopped, I called you but you wouldn't answer me and I left messages everywhere! I was so worried! where have you been, OMG it's so great to meet up with you again!" Admittedly, she was a pretty gal, with a hairstyle that just makes me reminisce about certain parts of my childhood and her eyes were a yellow-ish tint followed by the mascara lining the outside of the lids.
Yet again, I made a sorry attempt at pretending to have forgotten her, to this day I have no ideal reason as to why I did that. She was persistant in her attempts to make me recall, of course I knew her, but something in the edge of my mind told me that I was no good for her, that I was a lonely scum that would only be able to siphon the energy from bottom feeders similar to plankton. Each second was a second of me becoming ever more distant from her words and eventually she threw her mental hands aloft and said, "O-Okay then, I'm sorry to bother you" as she plugged her hands into the pocket fittings of her jacket and walked away into the night.
>>710973876
>>710953513
Holy shit dude.
My feel meter just broke. I hope shit gets better dude.
Lost my main job couple weeks ago, got a new job as a door 2 door saleman. Second day in job, get threatened by some crazy motherfucker because he thought I was scoping places out to rob. Think I went insane today and quit my job, now unemployed again. I feel like this is the end of my sanity rope, been wanting to kill myself for 3 years now.
>>710973916
>>710973925
Don't kill yourself, kill someone else. lel
>>710973957
I wake up some days and look back at all the time I wasted and realize that I'm not really great at anything I'm ok at a lot of things but I've never been told that I'm amazing at something
>>710973876
The iron giant.....oh man those feels.
>>710951046
some days? fuck off normie
>>710974001
>>710951046
always
>>710974062
>>710974140
>>710974001
This fucked me up....
My name is Christopher, I was born 2 days after this letter was written and Storybook land is about a half hour from my house.....wft
>>710974169
>>710974169
>>710974206
baww threads are amazing like that. thats why we go to them thats why i am posting all the old stuff. for the rekindled bawws and bringing it to even the newer people who just got here.
>>710973820
Interesting people aren't interesting because someone sprinkled interesting flakes all over them they are interesting because they spend a lot of time learning new stuff.
Stop fooling your lazy ass that they have some sort of magic and go and learn and do new stuff because right now you are that boring asshole that does nothing.
>>710974374
>>710974463
>>710974508
>>710974452
I guess i can agree with that. only reason people find me interesting is because im loud and have tattoos of shit people would get but are too scared others would talk down on them haha.
plus i drink a lot and know a lot about whats going on in history and the world. That took a lot of time researching and learning.
but once the oh wow" factor wares off for people no one remembers me even when i sit next to them at the bar, or slept with them less then a month ago. everyone kind of just stops talking to me and it sucks when the only people who call you is the bartender to make sure your okay because you havnt been to the bar in a week. Its a kind of shitty life.
>>710974715
I feel like I'm to old to start anything new. People say I make friends easily but I feel like they are just being polite. I am studying to become an actor but at 38 I feel like I'm to old and my chance has passed me by
>>710974755
>>710974775
Whenever you're acting, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, DO NOT think about how you want to use the still frame of your face later on as a reaction image.
Congratulations, you can no longer be an actor without cracking up.
Now you can move on.
>>710974784
>>710974784
>>710974755
>>710974715
God bless you and your time-machine laptop.
>>710974881
>>710974912
>>710974895
thanks man. the name is blarg btw. posting pictures from my laptop..
>>710974951
>>710975019
This is the picture that gets me the most more then any of them..
>>710975019
>>710975082
>>710974715
Well junk science is science with theory and no experimenting. A junk life is the same all theory and no experimenting. You are at first interesting and then boring to others because of this, when they meet you they think "wow here is someone who has done interesting stuff" then they realise you just read about other people doing interesting stuff.
Me and my wife have been trying to have a kid for about a year. My wife had a miscarriage a week ago. I held her while she cried and screamed that she wanted our baby back.
