Ask a real vampire anything
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Ask a real vampire anything
Do you love to suck cum out of dicks?
>>710268783
U like garlic?
>>710268783
underage fag detected.
>>710268883
actually... yes i sometimes do, alot of vampires are bisexuals including me, during our long lives we grow tired of just heterosexual sex, so we dive into homosexual sex, orgies, and very often hardcore BDSM thanks to our regeneration factor
>>710268783
if you are a real vampire you can answer this question.
wich hat?
>>710268886
as cliché as it may sound... no i dont, we vampires dont like garlic, but its not like we fear it and that it could kill us... its just that our sence of smell is hightened compared to u humans, and garlic smells really disgusting
>>710268783
After the constant bullying at your middle school are you planning to an hero?
>>710268783
Did I make you laugh yesterday?
>real
>vampire
Choose one.
>>710268940
i was turned in my mid 30 but i sometimes take form of an underaged girl just for the fun of it, but never of underaged boy, they have small penises because they didnt go through puberty yet and hey... vampire or not, what male likes to see his penis shrinking?
Are you aware of how much of a fag you sound like?
>>710268783
In that case I will ask some more serious question:
How the fuck you guys did not take over the world in this whole time? Id wish to meet some real vampire so i can beat the shit out of him or be beaten to death :D
>>710268783
Why do you bullshit on /b/?
>or actually answer this
The chicken-pig-baby, what is it? Why does it only attacks women.
Has your family disowned you yet for being a faggot?
>>710268783
Do you have to invited in to someone's house every time or does one invite work forever? Do businesses count? Are you allowed in if they have an open sign?
>>710269366
>How the fuck you guys did not take over the world in this whole time?
for what purpose? one of us tried it once, he got his ass beaten by our own kind. not op btw.
>>710269248
Kek
>>710269366
(OP) the procces of creating new vampires isnt that simple, some of us have alot of weaknesses and 300-100 years ago there were a shit-ton of really good human vampire hunters...
but the main reason is that there isnt enough of us, new vampire usually (there are exceptions) born when a vampire sucks blood of a human who didnt have sex in his life yet, meaning, u dont create army of vampires by just walking around biting people
>>710269516
they're dead
>>710269769
Well... That fucking sucks! But still - Would love to have a fist fight with any of your kind
>>710269661
yea i know what u mean, but thats just a myth and seriously i have no fucking idea where that came from... same as if u throw a bag of rice that we have to count it
just bullshit
>>710269403
Das me bae
How should I go about rewiring my nadis in order to break out of the demiurge's rhythms and restore my endocrine glands?
How do time and causality interact with magick, the human body, and willpower?
>>710269902
OP
well... even the lowest of the low of my kind are strong enough to fracture bones with their punches, fists fight i seriously would not recommend
only way would be possible if the vampire would be wounded, and u would fight him during the day (not in the daylight, just during the day)
>>710269147
What about ginger?
>>710270195
Wouldnt care about my bones tbh. I really dream of a great fight with someone who could test me to the limits... Also these days people dont fight one vs one... Happened once in my life. 1v2, or more - far more often
>>710270360
OP
the lower classes, like E or F might not like it, but during my near 600 years lifespan ive never heard about a vampire being repelented by a ginger in same way as garlic does
>>710269803
Did you kill them OP?
>>710268783
Prove that you are vampire. A real pic would be nice.
>>710270186
OP
i hope i understood u right, since english isnt my first language
if you are asking about procreation, vampires cant do that, since female vampires do not produce eggs, but male vampire do produce sperm
as for the willpower, most of vampires do retain their willpower but feel great respect and obidiance towards vampire who created them, but they are not bound by any means, there has been occurs when created vampire killed its creator...
willpower is very important for us and is usually the main thing to destroy us also (willpower of a man, that being)
Get to work Chris.
>>710268783
heeey
Are you a faggot? cause you sound like one. Kys
What happened to Susan Walsh?
>>710270437
OP
but u are still missing a determination to kill a vampire, and that one is extremly important, with this determination and willpower most of lower and even middle class vampires (F too C i'd say) are actually killed
>>710270618
OP
naaaah, i may be monster but i sure am not a murderer... my wife killed herself with our unborn child, father was killed by a political rivals and dunno what happened to my mother honestly, dad never spoke about her
I got more of a request tho. Vamp me up? I've been waiting for you all of my life.
>>710271545
same tbh
>>710271545
Same bruh, id love to be a vampire
>>710271127
like i already said here, i am a bisexual... if that counts by any means
a lot of vampires are bisexuals cos we grow tired of heterosexual sex during our prolonged lifetime
There's a board for vampires like you! It's called /x/. Enjoy roleplaying!
Why are you so edgy and obviously a lonely faggot
>>710271223
OP
how the fuck am i supposed to know, i dont live in USA, but thanks for your question and trust in my knowledge... i guess
>>710268783
ka ka
>>710271807
That's a name you shouldn't forget given what she did.
>>710271958
...or at least almost.
>>710271545
>>710271636
>>710271640
OP
if you are still virgins, u can be turned into vampires, thats the standart way, vampire drinking blood of a mortal who didnt have sex yet... other common way is for u to drink large amout of vampire blood, but with all due respect, im not giving u mine, and good luck finding a vampire who would be willing to do such a thing
>>710271636
>>710271640
Aye guys. It seems like such a damn beautiful existence. I'm not a virgin tho OP, if you're even willing, how would it go? Even information is helpful.
>>710272122
tfw still a virgin make me a vampire please
>>710271684
OP
thank u anon, i guess ill be heading there once this thread dies, but untill then, ill stuck here
>>710272122
100% virgin friend come suck my blood out
>>710272122
What qualifies as "sex?" Does oral count? Is it only PIV sex, or also anal? What about pegging, does that count for the one getting pegged? What about penetration with toys in general?
What specific activities make it impossible to be turned? Also why?
>>710272138
OP
u mean the turning of a virgin one?
>>710268783
are you religious?
>>710272591
No no, sadly (?) I'm not a virgin, I'd like to know how to still become a vampire tho. I'm:
>>710272138
>>710271545
Are you a real vampire?
>>710272568
OP
yeah i get where u're going with this, it appears wildly wague
anyway, as all i know, only classic penetration sex between two willing human beings counts as "the sex" ... so if u've been raped, u should be still able to be turned, it has to do something with inner innocence or some bullshit like that, a priest would be more fitting to answer this question
as for the "why does it make it impossible" part, im sure i dont know... id bet it has something to do with the innocense also, but i will have too look into that
>>710268783
why did johnny sack stay with that fat fuck of a wife until the end?
>>710272933
OP
i was... have u seen film Constantine with Keanu Reeves? there is passage that sums it up perfectly "u dont beliwe, u know" and God doesnt want u too know, he wants u too beliwe
>>710273461
What about those cranium-less monsters? What's up with those guys?
Why am i even still in this thread?jesus op you really did make me cringe hard,thanks.
>>710269769
you're just ripping shit from hellsing now
i mean hellsing is awesome but come on
>>710273154
OP
well!
the second usual way of turning one into a vampire is for u too drink large amout of vampire blood, like several glasses, id say between one and two liters, just a sip of a vampire blood really isnt enough
and then... theres the (as fucking stupid as it sounds) the "supernatural" way... when one spilled enough of blood during his lifetime, and when he is on a brink of death by a sword (or gun, anything but age) there is a chance that... *sigh* ... Devil will take interest in him, as we vampires are basicly spawns of Devil (but not demons) there is a chance that he would turn u... if u would be interesting enough for him
only the strongest vampires are created in such a manner and it is nearly impossible for a human too plan or count on such a thing...
srsly if u arent a virgin, the best way for u is to drink a vampire blood
>>710274079
Which way did you get turned?
do y'all do hella drugs?
if i had crazy regen powers i'd be doing every drug i could find
>>710273253
OP
yes... but then also, on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog either
u are not obliged to trust me, untill i sedusively bite u
Why am I not 100% human? I'm only 60% human. 40% Extraterrestrial.
>>710273294
OP
Love.
>>710274293
>sedusively
hot
you know Ozgin fam?
>>710273633
OP
u mean in Constantine? in the film?
>>710268783
sage
>>710273977
OP
The best is yet to come...
>>710274570
yes. i think there's a lot of interesting symbolism and messages in that film
LISTEN HERE NIGGERS.
When donald trump gets elected as presidemt, all of you niggers are going back to africa.
>>710274038
And Hellsing ripped off Bram Stocker... come on u :D
> be op
>buy fangs at hot topic like the edgy piece of shit he is.
>gee I'm a vampire now.
You're so gay op you make assholes bleed. Go rp on Facebook count fagula.
>>710274178
OP
thats rather personal
but it was the last way, around 550 years ago i was about too be executed by decapitation by my enemies, when i got the chance to drink my own blood, sip my own lifeforce and create the circle of undying
>>710275016
Halloween is over. Why not start to pretend you're an elf holy shit.
>>710274079
Thanks for the help so far, it's a lot. Alright, so I need to drink a lot of blood. I'm quite alright with this, but how would I go about approaching a willing vampire? I'd rather not do this against anyone's will, if it can be helped. I can't be the only one tho, right? There have to be precedents for this. Best places to go, willing vampire circles... something?
I'm still the same poster who originally asked, by the way.
>>710274188
OP
not hella but yes i do
molly, coke, occasionally cannabis, and acid like once a year
gotta be really careful with the last one tho... could u even imagine class A vampire on a bad trip?
>>710274178
My partner was buttfucking me then my ass started bleeding, a vampire came down and start licking my bloody butthole and then bit my ass.
>>710274362
OP
i dunno... parents had an alien gangbang?
sounds plausible
>>710275296
is there a way to become a vampire without interaction with other vampires or satan? i don't really wanna sell my soul because i like my soul
>>710275428
you sound like someone who wants to gain something w/o giving anything up famalam
>>710274488
yes, bitting females usually ends up in sex... but im biseaxual, so whatever goes if you are cute and obidient
>>710275428
Just do what these faggots do in this thread, become so gay you die and suck dicks for eternity.
>>710274490
OP
no, should i?
>>710275577
i just want cool powers fam, none of this "my soul belongs to satan" stuff
>>710275726
nah there's no reason you should, i was just wondering
>>710274648
OP
i dunno tho... they were some sorts of demons, that is way off my juristiction
what do you even do all the damn time?
if vamp then lets see em fucker
What the fuck is a class A vampire and how are some ways that you can die?
>>710275163
Hey op, in case you missed me. Sorry, but it'd be an understatement to say I'm really interested in this.
>>710276239
>>710276239
>>710276271
White people....are fucking....nasty
*Shudders*
did i hear someone say vampire?
>>710276378
whats so nasty? the fact that i have teeth that cut thru cans or the shit tear face hare that i agree is shit but it dont grow
and be fore under age i was born in 92
>>710275163
OP
about the blood drinking, be sure that u are drinking vampires blood, because drinking any other blood, including human, in such amouts could be VERY harmful to your human body, so be careful
a lot of vampires are willing to make new servants in form of new vampires, but they are not willing to offer their blood to them, its a bit matter of honor to us, blood is almost sacred to some old-school vampires so offering blood to someone mortal is a sign of HUGE trust and respect...
and where to look? heh, avoid goth bars, thats a first place for a vampire-hunter to look, try rather rock and metal concerts
>>710274949
Underrated post
>>710275412
OP
thats racist... but also fucking amusing image to happen
>>710276645
Hm. If I offered my literally undying loyalty, would it be feasible to think that a vampire would then offer blood, out of interest in a possibly eternal servant? Will also go to a lot more concerts from now on.
>>710276586
different anon but the nasty part is your pasty ass skin and blonde pubes for facial hair
your teeth are clean at least
>>710276645
speaking of music
what do you like OP?
why are vampires so cliche?
why are there no vampires that aren't goths, listen to metal, wear trench coats, or speak like they live in skyrim
>>710275428
OP
not without an interection with atleast vampire corpses, no...
and u dont sell your soul, u still keep it, its just fucked up
also, there is a myth that if u fuck a vampire, u have a chance to become one, but none i ever fucked turned, so i guess its just what it is, a myth... oh wait, sex is an interaction anyways, nevermind
stop right there kiddo.
do you know what we do to you humans around here?
better fork up some blood or you're gonna have a bad day sir.
>>710268783
Is Santa real?
>>710276991
appreciate the honesty see i lived for 5 years in northdakota and am from wi so still trying to get my skin to retain tan since nodak is almost always to cold to just be out side with out being covered up no excuse on the blonde pubes beard just cursed to never have a good beard since well i am naturally blonde haired Germen Irish decent
>>710275800
OP
being a vampire (or any other midian) isnt just having cool powers, but u also give up your humanity... some vampire hunters say, that we were too weak to bear the weight of humanity so we became vampires
honestly, i think its bullshit, but u do lose your humanity, there is somehow a little bit less happines in life (yea i know, we are so edgy we could cut power armor)
but then also... cool powers and shit
>>710276057
OP
kill other, lower class, vampires
i have to, but i do also enjoy it sometimes... man or a vampire, one must find joy in his work
>>710277560
so where did you live 500 years ago? what was your life like?
OP you said that there are not many vampires nowadays.
Do you know if there are many in Spain? I had a near experience with one, or at least I though so. I did A LOT of things about spiritism and such in my youth, and a witch I know, she say I had a mark on my soul. I'm trying to connect to dots... or maybe I'm just going crazy.
How's 7th grade going so far?
>>710277835
y tho
>>710277887
>>710276245
OP
as for everything in the world, there are classes and definitons for vampires
the classes are from A too F as far as i know, and the class defines power, abilities and rituals needed to do completely kill them
F being the most weakest vampire there is, it is a vampire equavilent of a new-born... and the gaps between the classes are increasing with each class
lets say that E is 2x stronger than F, than D is 4x stronger than E (not F), and than C is 8x stronger than D etc.
as for killing class A, that is a VERY difficult tast to take upon, because u have to destroy every life that the vampire has every devoured
>>710276249
OP
of fuck, it didnt send... have to write it again now, gimme sec
>>710269147
Been living this long and a nigga can't spell sense.
>Maybe cause he aint got none of it
>>710274648
Read the comics they explain everything
>>710276410
OP
heh, Blade is cool and stuff i really like that movie, but he wouldnt threaten me, nor he would need too, since i am obliged to kill vampires also
>>710275016
Pure cancer
>>710276249
OP
oh wait, it did send, i just have to speed up my replies!
>>710276645
lol don't go to goth bars. You're a complete 14 year old acting faggot
>>710272122
once you spend 666 bucks at hot topic they give you dentures and bang boom poo youre a bonafide vampire remember all good vampires dont do drugs and go to bed on time :D
>>710276826
OP
yes it is definatelly possible, but dont get too caried away, like u said, there are precidents to this... try to win the trust slowly, dont rush the second u think someone is an vampire
u get what i mean
>>710277560
So edgy you could cut power armor? The 500 year old 12 year old. Faggot
>>710277883
Spiritsm. Kek
Anon, why are you a fag?
>>710268783
how did you become a vampire?
>>710277067
OP
meh... anything "harder" either instrumental or electronic
rock, metal, dubstep, hardhouse, folk music, drums (instrumental)
i literally walked around with earbuds in swing and disco era
and now it all here again with that fucking electroswing, ugh
>>710277382
OP
i dont understand this, are u pretending to be a vampire hunter or a vampire?
>>710279696
500 years old and listens only to current fuckery
>>710277485
OP
I hope not! or he has some fucking explainings to do, fat fuck
>>710279488
Believe whatever you want, you uncultured swine orc
>>710277871
OP
it was fucking medieval ages so what do u think... it was dirty and smelly, and cold!
as for where, it was in south-east europe back in time, but then spend some time of my life in england
>>710279999
Idiot.. Spiritsm isn't a fucking word. Uncultured swine lol. Kys
>>710280185
Can you see yourself in a mirror?
>>710277883
OP
Hmmm never been to spain, but vampires were big there like 150 years ago, and there are vampires present in every larger city on world... with "there arent many" i didnt meant that there is like last 100 of us, no, theres more...
so like i said, vampires were big in spain 150 years ago or so... and im talking like class B vampires (which is REALLY powerfull vampire)... so yeah, id say there are some there now, but dont know for sure, spain is catholic, and i dont have many knowledge about vampires on catholic grounds...
as for the soul part, that is totally possible, because class B and A vampires are more interested in onces sould, than mere blood (but ofcourse, blood is the currency of soul)
believe me or not, but this thread is actually funny
>>710280688
You're 500 years old and you don't know any specifics. Not even where all you lived. If you're gonna role play fucking be good at it.
>>710279570
Op
My favorite meal is a cock sandwich, maybe that's why?
How can I become a vampire ? Do I need to send you money or something ?
>>710277934
OP
thats a reeeeaaally long story and im afraid the thred would die out before i would write it whole down
long story short, i was beaten and had two options, be tool to kill other vampires or be dead... and since i am a coward (as all vampires are), i became a tool of vampire hunting family
but its not like a regret it, most vampires i kill are weaklings anyway and deserve nothing but gruesome death in pile of their own piss and shit
OP
you must vote for Hillary
>>710280947
>>710280688
I'm sorry, but now I'm even more confused. Alright, let's say that my soul it's tainted. But I'm no virgin... why would I be interesting for a vampire? And how could I call his/her attention? (Actually, I think it's a her)
>>710281101
Vampires don't piss or shit.
>>710280598
yeah, only lower class vampires dont, C and below
>>710279934
why?
>>710279884
OP
maybe even when u are a vampire, you are affected by society? lol, thats why we dont wear medieval rags
>>710281076
OP
yes
>>710281254
OP
ofcourse we dont, our digestive system doesnt work, we dont eat either
Does the nigger seamon in your anus course that budhurt?
>>710279307
Thanks, and yeah, I get ya. Couple more questions if you're still around... how's the vampire scene in Italy, specifically Rome, and Europe in general? where should I go?
Also, any ways for a human to get into a vampire "social circle" , aside from the concerts you already mentioned?
Really appreciate all this help... "man"?
>>710281188
OP
tainted?... eh, what the hell does that mean (thats just rethorical question)
anyway, if she is interested in your soul, and if she indeed is a class B vampire, she might be interested in making u her familiar, by devouring your soul and bounding hers and yours together... u would live as a part of her, but could manifest physicaly if she would wish so
as for how to call for her attention, if u didnt meet her then i dont know, either she will find u, if she really is interested in u, or try to seek her out by yoursefl, there in no batsignal for us... sadly
>>710281101
if u kill one pour its blood into a bottle and sell it u idiot
>>710282253
OP
no, but my sperm is corrosive if you are interested in this information
>>710282113
No shit... you said they lay in a pool of their own piss and shit. So which is it.... get your story and facts tight before you try to make sense of your faggotry
Does blood taste different for vampires?
>>710282520
OP
yeah well no, rome is a big fucking "NOPE!" to all vampires because of vatican, and the catholic church, the hunts for vampires has decreased since the pope Francis, but still the vatican, rome, and id say whole italy is scarce for vampires...
anyway france and england are pretty ok for vampires, germany austria and czech are even better, avoid poland, same thing as with italy
also! try comic and anime conventions, also good place to look for kind
>>710282653
OP
since im not supposed to create new ones... no
>>710282713
OP
lol, that was just methafor
>>710283656
You talk like a method head, yeah I agree. And that's not what a metaphor is.
>>710283459
Alright, this is a lot of knowledge, thanks. Offchance... do you know any vampire who would be interested, or could you ever be, in turning me? I'd have eternity to repay you, I imagine.
>>710283360
OP
Hmm thats a hard one, cant remember the taste of it as a human... but id say no, the pure taste is still the same i think, since our taste buds didnt come through any change as far as i know, a bit metalic, warm, sweet from some humans
ofcourse, when our body starts to "diggest" (we dont actually diggest) we have this warm refreshing feel, id say its maybe like drinking something cold when its really hot and u are thirsty, u feel the liquid pouring into your body and helping u
>>710283813
ok, im sorry, that wasnt a methafor, but u get my meaning
>>710283969
OP
u read the reply where i spoke about familiars?
>>710268940
I'm 32 and I could totally imagine myself getting high and making a shiity b8 thread like this for xd so rando bobano
OP
well, im going out, its been fun u bloody bags
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hellsing-Alucard-Clapping-Anime-Gif.gif
>>710283969
Pretty sure I have, but asking if you know anyone specific, or if it could ever interest you specifically.