>ctrl+f no feels thread. So what eats at your soul every
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>ctrl+f
no feels thread.
So what eats at your soul every day?
>implying you have one left at this point
bumppp
Bump
>>709457859
Trying to belong anywhere is what eats me.
It's not the quest for a qt3.14 girlfriend. That'd be bearable if I had a life that I could distract myself with. If I had friends. If I had hobbies. If I could go to the bar and kick back a few drinks and watch sports.
But I've never belonged anywhere. It's worse than just being alone. Because when you're alone, you have yourself.
But I don't even have myself. Because even I hate me. I have nothing. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing passes the days. I spend my time looking for new ways to feel anything, and most of the time I don't find it.
>>709457859
I just feel like reality is mocking me anymore. Nothing makes sense to me.
I've recently just stopped giving a fuck.
I've come too far for every thing to be like this
>change it
I did nothing works.
>>709461732
Never cared to much for belonging somewhere.
Loneliness kills me though.
You spend your entire life with yourself if you hate who you are life is going to be rough.
>>709461732
Take some acid and go to a rave
feeding my addiction that feeds my depression once again.
don't even give a shit. and that's how i know things are about to get really scary.
Eye
I want to figure out a way to kill myself painlessly. I don't want to wake up in the hospital later. I don't have access to a gun.
How do, /b/?
>>709462662
xannies+muscle relaxants+alcohol and painkillers if you can
>flawless
dont do it though, faggot
If it hasn't gotten better by now it never will. The only hope any of you has now is to end it and finally do something right in your lives. Trust me after the initial shock it will be like nothing happened and the world will keep moving forward as it always has.
>>709462662
Nigger it too late to kill yourself you can't escape your fate by killing yourself
Any of y'all had to do something you knew you had to do to help you in the long run, but led to you hurting like hell right now? I had to cut connections with a really good friend that I talked to every single day because I was so in love with her. I couldn't stop my feelings for her, and if I continued to talk to her every day there was no way I was gonna get over her. I know I'll thank myself in a couple of months, but right now I'm hurting even more than when I talked to her.
I am working my dream job, IT at a great company, studying for my Cisco Certifications (company paying for them). I've got plenty of opportunities for advancement. I'm in a 6 year relationship with the love of my life, I have friends, loving family, emotional support.
I'm financially stable, I am in good health, I have my youth (26 years old).
But...
I'm not happy. I've worked so fucking hard to get where I am, from 65 hour weeks at work at the factory while struggling through college, from being destitute and homeless to comfortably upper middle class. From alone and friendless to in love and surrounded by friends close enough to be family. I've slaved away, toiled endlessly with studying and working my fingers to the bone to get where I am, all because I thought it would make me happy.
But it didn't. I don't know what happiness is. I don't think I've ever been happy. I do not know joy. I understand excitement, anticipation, things like this, but happiness? I keep trying to find it, and I'm trying so goddamned hard.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Will I always be broken like this?
?
>>709463279
It's okay anon, we're just different that's all we move clockwise while those who are happy move counter clockwise that's just the way things are, accept who you are and keep moving forward.
>>709462817
I'll probably either fuck it up or pussy out like I do with everything else.
In any case I'm not quite to that point yet.
>>709463400
Checked
>>709463279
i've worked my ass off to get in the IT field as well, so we have that in common.
but what we have more in common is never being happy. i've been in a lot of places where i should be completely happy with thing, and i'm not.
i don't think some people will ever be happy. i don't think a lot of people are ever truly happy. that's just what being human is about, i suppose. there's nothing wrong with being unhappy...it just...sucks. at least it keeps you interesting and moving forward.
stay hungry, my friend.
So I think my friend's sister is into me. I don't know how to start a conversation with her. I'm away for school and never really chatted with her online but back home we would chat and hang out whenever I would be at his house. Any advice on how to approach her online?
>>709463279
You're still looking for the next best thing anon. You're so used to having nothing and toiling away endlessly to get it, and now that you have it you're confused. You're still in the mindset of being at the bottom. Take a vacation alone if you can to collect yourself. Hell go on a cruise by yourself. Your partner should understand if they love you. But you need time off for yourself with yourself.
Keep your chin up mate, things will get better mentally like they did financially and socially.
>>709463822
figure out a question about something you guys talked about.
"hey, what was that show you recommended to me?"
try to keep the conversation going without forcing it to keep going. you'll know if she's into it.
>>709463822
ask her something about your friend and build a conversation from there. i believe in you anon
I remember being on top of this high building when I lived on the island of Cyprus. It was one of the gorgeous summer nights where you could see millions of stars. I looked down and thought about jumping... stepped right up to the ledge.. my feet halfway over.
I wished I jumped that night. Wish I fell through the warm Mediterranean air and ended it all then.
I fought and struggled, loved and lost, and over twenty years later I'm just now getting the courage to do it. It'll be a rope in a cheap motel in PA, but that's what I get for waiting.
Procrastination is a bitch right? Could have saved myself all this suffering and just flown through the night sky then.
>>709463822
This is a feels thread.
It'll go 100% smoother if you make up some reason to contact her. Like wait till your friend has a sick day or something and ask her how he is. Something bs like that, just as an excuse to start a conversation.
>>709464113
Don't worry you did take that step.
>>709464113
Holy hell, PA has so much better to offer than a rope in a motel. Go to a big cliff in a state park and jump. See the nature. It's the most beautiful thing I know. Wouldn't choose anywhere else.
>>709464224
I know but feels threads are the only place to get a semi civil reply on /b/
>>709464077
>>709464099
I can't ignore these dubs. I'll go for it. It might fail but dammit I'm going over the top lads
A few years ago I moved to a new country to chase who i thought was the love of my life and to be able to go to a good university.
That love of my life turned out to be the worst 8 months of my life as she was extremely abusive psychologically and emotionally. She guilt tripped me into paying her rent and constantly told me how much she hated everything about me while at the same time doing whatever she could to gaslight me into believing everything was okay. I tried to drink myself to death one night, and would have succeeded if my best mate back home didn't check in on me.
I was at my last few dollars when i finally found a job to support myself with. I found someone to give me the strength to leave my abusive ex and now I'm with that person, who over 2 years has been nothing but amazing to me. I'm nearly done with my degree and my life is on track but i still hate myself. I still think I don't deserve anything that i've worked for and I'm paranoid that everything is going to cumble down around me. Or that I'm going to wake up in my ex's bed and everything will have been a dream.
>>709463559
I'm not sure what you mean by that.
>>709463714
Thanks man, I'm not going to let myself get too dragged down. Come too far, worked too hard for that shit, am I right?
>>709464032
I've got three weeks of paid vacation saved up... I think I could use that.
I've been writing a (horrible) novel for the past two years, maybe I'll finally take the time to finish it. I don't care if I get published, probably won't even try to, but it'd be nice to have it done with.
>>709463170
yo man im in the same place, and i feel almost the exact same way. the only thing that makes me upset is that I know she probably doesn't feel like how I do having to give her up :/
will contribute a short dump
>>709465398
jesus...
>>709464847
you're right man. but that doesn't mean things aren't going to hurt and that you're going to be happy with it. hunger is what drives us, and we cannot be go any further if we are satisfied. thus we will never be satisfied.
for me, at least, i just want to contribute something to this world that can live on and help others. that will mean that all of this unhappiness must have been worth something, right?
find what you're willing to sacrifice for and do it. if that is your lover, give her everything good you have, man. if that's your craft, give it your all.
don't stop. for anyone, especially yourself. we are often our own worst critics, and we should never give in to it. we should learn from it.
i suppose this is as much to myself as it is to you, but i hope you find something useful in it.
again, stay hungry.
this one sends shivers down my spine
>>709465731
forgot my pic related :)
hey guys, hope everyone is doing alright, im here if anyone wants to talk.
-SLRB
>>709465731
At risk of sounding sappy and cliche.
I appreciate you saying this, I sincerely do.
It helps to know I'm not alone, even if it's someone I'll never meet.
It's just so goddamned hard sometimes. I know I'll never let myself give up, but it's so fucking hard to keep going.
and I'll end with the dispatcher thread. Hope you feel better /b/ros
3/3. Goodnight everyone
>>709457859
Just broke up a 4 years long relationship, she had some very bad moments on her life so I did everything in my power to get her up on her feet even to the point where I stopped paying attention to the career that I'm studying in the university, she always tried her best to be the number one on her career and she archived it, then she started dreaming about her own life and traveling while about me it was always like "you can come along if you want, but I can't dream with you in it because I'm not sure about us in the future", I used to dream about traveling and learning many things but while in the relationship all I could dream about was her, so listening to her say this kind of things brought me up to be destroyed inside and feeling like an idiot, now that we broke she's perfectly fine continuing her career as I'm just trying to regain the motivation before I started being on a relationship.
I cant sleep. I keep dreamingvabout her.
I hate going on, I mean, I'm not going to kill myself but fuck. This has only gotten harder. Everything as just fallen apart in the last few months
I'm getting old, /b/. It's been so many years, yet it's the same old routine everyday.
>wake
>work
>get back home after 8 hours
>turn on my PC
>add recently downloaded anime to playlist
>turn head to second monitor
>4chan
>shitpost
>act smart on reddit
>get to bed after a few hours
>browse imgur until I fall asleep
>repeat
I am so alone.
>>709467126
Better than not sleeping. But I know what you mean, I've had way too realistic of dreams about her
i need to vent /b/ros, why does she have to do this? why does she show intrest in me and talk to me and be really into me, then the next day she does the same thing to another guy? does she not realize what shes doing to me??? I've been depressed all day and im trapped in my own prison and ill severing a life sentence
>>709465405
Same here
>>709467364
I keep waking up. Damb wish could make it stop.
>>709467126
That's weird, I had a dream about "her" last week, it's been almost 5 years since I saw her but it felt so real. It was almost depressing when I woke up but then I got over it.
>>709466924
Ya, I went through something similar; I wasn't as hurt as you by the end of it though.
You put everything you can into them, into building something that you'll both have, and they walk away.
I don't have much to say but that I know what it's like. You'll find your way though, I can practically guarantee it.
>>709460678
This hurts so much. I just want to talk with him, to find out how he's doing, and help anyway I can
>>709466551
it helps me too, man. none of us want to be alone, especially in our suffering.
but it's hard. especially when you're too fucking stubborn to give up. but think about how strong you must be to have half of yourself fighting against you and to still be moving forward. it's not easy to work against yourself as well as the rest of the world.
keep going, friend. i'll see you on the other side. for now it's time to take my rum-drunken self to sleep.
>>709457859
I feel like I've wasted the last 6 years of my life studying something I ultimately won't use, in a field that's virtually meaningless. I just wish I could go back exactly six years and change EVERYTHING.
>>709457859
>want to be cute submissive gay
>live deep in russia
>may be in next life
>>709467674
>>709467397
Im in the sane situation. With girls its almost always attention.
>>709467397
but /b/ro, why does it have to be her? what does she have to deserve a /b/tard like you, if she doesn't appreciate you just fuck it, maybe you need to move on already before feelings get deeper
>>709467596
I just don't sleep anymore. I'm lucky to get 4 hours every 2 days now. Just when I sleep I feel like I'll wake up to her. It's a nightmare
>>709467323
Go the fuck outside. It doesn't matter where. Get out of work and go to a bar. Go to a park. Just do SOMETHING else than what you are doing.
I've been doing this shit before 4chan existed. The internet has been my home for over twenty years. My prime is over and wasted. There is no escape from hating yourself for what you do unless you do something else.
>>709462483
shit dude, you just described my life at the moment
>>709466493
why? no litk itll make a difference
>>709467674
Thanks /b/ro, right now I'm trying to regain the passion I used to have for my career, it's kinda what's keeping me going nowadays
So I met an older asian gentlemen today, after I found his post on CL's Strictly Platonic section. I wasn't excited when he wasn't cute but we went out for tea & coffee and Caribou and I ended up having a lot of fun. After this weekend, I'll call him again and do something else. Hopefully a game or something; it's nice to have something else to concentrate other than just the conversation.
>>709467323
Make a post on CL's Strictly Platonic section and you might get lucky
All of my high school friends are getting married, having kids, and starting careers. Meanwhile, I'm jobless and have been single since 2005.
I'm 27.
>>709468103
stay strong, friend.
>>709467791
>studying
Wait until you'd started working in a field that you ultimately hate after many years of your life poured into it. It will be another level of fuck-this-life.
I wrote this the other day.
I guess I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love Diana, but she is not the kind of girl I would want to spend my whole life with. Granted I just started college and she is in her last year of high school, I still feel like I would rather spend my time looking for someone else instead of being with her. Someone like Joy. I want to find Joy again. I would be so happy. It’s been so many years since then, but I still love her. I’m in love with a dead woman.
What is this pressure in my head? It feels heavy. It came over me as I wrote this last paragraph. I feel if pressing against the back of my face.
I’m alone. I feel like I will never find her. Joy. The girl who was perfect in every way to me. She was everything I ever wanted, including things I never knew I wanted. She showed me my mistakes. She challenged me philosophically. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. She made me feel like I wasn’t crazy for thinking of things people don’t normally think of. She showed me that people can love you for your faults. She gave me courage towards everything I was afraid of. She made me brave.
I wasn’t alone. Now I’m alone. I’m alone and scared of everyone. I’m afraid of failing and making mistakes. I’m afraid to do anything I’m not familiar with. I want to cry now. I want to cry because nothing but being with friends have been able to make me happy. After high school, nobody wanted to talk to me anymore. Sometimes someone will respond to my texts. But I almost never have time to hang out with anyone. When I do, it is taken up by Diana.
In love with coworker. Dying to tell her. She lives with another coworker
I had never had a girlfriend in my life before, always being the shy and awkward beta. Then I meet her. Get a few dates. Have sex on the third. I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere.
Then she has dinner with her ex.
Then she sends me this.
>confidencedeflating.jpg
>>709468328 Cont.
I feel lost. I want to find Joy again, but I don’t know where to go. I mean, she’s dead so I can’t actually find her. I suppose I’m looking for her in another girl. If there is another girl that is perfect like her. Fuck, she was perfect. I miss her so much. I’ve been trying to get over her for a long time. Years. But I still can’t. She was the only person who made my curses go away. ADD. ADHD. Bipolar. Asperger’s. Social anxiety. My depression. Pain. Fear. Emptiness. It was all gone. And I was happy.
Then she died. And now there is no one like her. There was no one like us.
All I want to do is sleep and dream of her.
>>709468181
whatever man, if you really can't change it you may as well come to terms with it. Use all the time you have for self improvement or kill yourself.
>>709462483
that was me a year ago.
Stop now if you can, please.
>>709468471
i can't.
well, that's a lie. i can. but i don't want to. i'd rather drown.
>So what eats at your soul every day?
My parents are old and sick. My mother has lung cancer and my father got 1 Kidney left, almost destroyed liver and is a chainsmoker. I'm 20 years old and i will lose my parents.. I know that. It makes me so fucking sad to lose those people who i love.
I cant sleep with that in my mind. Its 5:45am here..
>>709462483
hardest thing is to realize that feeding that addiction keeps you busy from overcoming that depression, you need to end that cycle and start doing something else that's at least not unhealthy
>>709457859
>discard hand from hand
What did he mean by this?
>>709457859
Tomorow i'm going to ask if she sees me and her together. If not i'm going cut all communications with her. The fucked up thing is that in my kind i already know the awnser. But still gotta try.
>>709467800
How cute? I don't want much more than a cute submissive boyfriend.
>>709467837
Keep them coming.
>>709468086
/thread
>>709467148
>months
How were things before then? How bad have they gotten sense?
>>709468853
I miss you Kevin. I would have really liked it if we could have traveled for a while and gotten to know each other. You were kind of special to me, you got my mind off Aaron. You were just the type of relationship I needed right when I needed it; I was looking forward to that.
And Victor, my friend. I still think about you from time to time. I wish I knew what happened to you, why you broke contact like you did. I hope I didn't get you in trouble with the parcel I sent you. But what ever happened, I hope you're doing well. It would have been nice to see Spain and France for you; and to have you next to me when Aaron left.
And Jasper, you're one of my best friends. It gets lonely without you. I really hope you're up for traveling over Christmas. The holidays aren't the greatest time for that but I would be excited to see you. As fun as that would be, maybe January would be better. If I got called in over the holidays, I'd be making over time pay and I kind of need the money, but what ever works for you. You’re who I talk to when I start to lose it, you have no idea what that means to me. I’ll always remember the first few times we talked, those were the best.
Cont?
>>709462483
i know the feel
i tried to drink away the pain every day
but it comes back everytime
now i just drink to die faster
>>709463279
for some people hapiness never happens
you just need to wait or accept it
i accepted a long time ago
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...Anonymous
10/26/16(Wed)19:51:16 No.17708697
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Guys, I really don't have a clue on what to do anymore. I'm over it, i think, but here is the problem.
Me and this chick were talking for a good two months. It went down the shitter because i got mad at her. I tried to make it up to her by taking her to a party. It was the last time we talked. And September flies by without a word. October comes, and Im over her.
Two weeks ago we start talking sporadically. She texted me first and we talked and snapchatted every moment for a few days, then she suddenly stopped.
Now, I kind of left us on a bad note. I want to hit her up, and go out for a while. I dont have a car momentarily. Should I hit her up or just not say anything anymore? We talk sporadically, but dang, I feel bad for being a dick to her.
Also why are girls so confusing? Why aren't they straight forward.
>>709463170
Two months out. She sent me a text today. Don't want to read.
>>709469535
You got to be fucking me. Lmao, I copy and pasted, my bad lads. But still someone help me
>>709457859
>be me
>go to top 20 college in usa
>doing badly in all 2.5 years of college so far
>parents keep supporting me even though I'm shit
>long distance gf thinks I'm doing fine
>I'm not
>always tired, never interested in my classes or area of study
>put on facade with friends
>smoke cigs and drink so i can forget about how shit i am at life
>other friends are getting internships and shit in NY and at IT companies
>i just watch anime and play cs (badly)
>i know im wasting my life but i can't help myself
I know this is a pathetic problem but it's how i am right now. i wish i could change
>>709469572
I had the samething. She told me she misses me. I was stupid and awnserd. Damn this time i really thought it would happen. But now i have to do the sane thing all over again.
>>709469151
>>709468852
This is best, you have no idea.
>>709468743
My dad is in terminal decline, one major (or even minor) health crisis away from dying, and can't even get himself to clean out leave the house for necessities and have no idea what top do. But at least he's bathing now.
He also chain smokes and is mobidly obese. He also might have some disease like Hep, my sister suspects.
I try to prod him along but he just gets angry. I've just given up, tbh.
At least my mom is healthy.
>>709469710
Quit college, at least for a time. Find a part time job you can enjoy and pays necessarities plus some (if you're lucky enough). Maybe when you're ready to go back you'll decide to go for a trade or find a job that doesn't have strenuous education requirements.
I'm 31 and wish I had done this. Good luck
>>709469710
How old are you?
Dude, you can always change your mind, I don't really think it's OK to keep denying that the choice you made might not have been the right one, if your career doesn't moves you then keep looking for one, find a passion, something that you love doing it and that may help you in the future, I know it's hard and it's cool if it takes you time, it's not meant to be right in front of you, that's why you gotta keep looking and don't sit there trying to move on being conformist about the fact that you're not really doing what you want.
>>709469535
Ya, he broke up with me and texts once in a while, I don't know what to think. I just make sure never to initiate contact
>>709463170
Why not ask her out?
>>709469880
What happened between you two
>>709469928
>>709470460
So I should cut contact? It's weird, because we talk sporadically. And I find it odd whenever she texts me something now.
>>709470178
>>709470363
i'm 20, turning 21. i want to change my major, and i feel like taking a break from college is terrifying.. i dunno what i really want to do. i dont even know what i'm good at. i thought i'd figure it out by now but I havent, and the pressure from my parents is growing. tuition costs a shit ton and they've made it clear i need to be self-sufficient when i get out of here
>>709468853
I think it might be easier to green text it, in all honesty
>>709471106
You don't really need to be good at something to like it, maybe you like something but you're not thinking about doing it for the same exact reason.
A given example may be the fact that no one is born knowing how to play any instrument, and everyone as they started playing it sucked at it at the beginning, but liking it is the key to keep doing it even if you suck at it until you're eventually with practice good at it.
Back again to the main topic, you still have time, maybe you can keep up to finish what you're doing right now and move along until you find what you really want and then start working towards it!
>>709470460
I knew this girl a long time. She was the crush and always wanted her. Started talking on and of sinds i was 16 now 23. And one day we started hanging out. We fucked a few times. And thought that this was the one. But just when this started i had to go on vacation wich was already planned. Felt lime she was slipping away. When i got back we chilled one last time and she was texting some guy all the while hanging out. Thought fuck it. But she becane distant. I cut all communication with her. Untill the message that she misses me. So decided to meet up at this club. Had a fun time with her but went home alone. But we were still texting untill today. She read my last text but never awnserd. So i'm just going to ask whats up and if she doesnt want to be together i have to cut vommunications again. This tome for ever.
>be me
>meet girl my age(18)
>start to fall in love with her
>she's a bit of a whore and does a lot of drugs but Idc she's hot, smart, and shares my humor
>we get the same class together senior year
>finally tell her that I have feelings for her
>she admits she likes me more than a friend
>since this has never happened to me a sperg out and change the subject (we were texting)
>we both ignore this ever happening
>eventually my friends convince me to ask her out
>find out she's talking to another dude right now
>I have to wait for it to blow over hopefully
>just praying this isn't the final nail in my coffin
>>709469928
Do you have any more like the first one you posted?
>>709471106
You're left some really difficult decisions. You have 2.5 years worth of debt to pay off and don't know what you want to do. How much are you in debt and is it managable if you leave? Are you going to be graduating in a STEM or some simular high-demand field which will make it easy to pay off the extra debt you'll take on graduating with a BA/BS or will you need to continue onto grad school/a Masters degree? Could you find a good/decent job if you left to pay necessities+down your education debt+a little extra? Answering these questions will help you make up your mind.
>>709471634
Sorry for the typos im on my phone. Also english is not my native luanguage
>>709471891
This is the last one I got.
>>709472022
Also this one
>>709471588
that's the dream man. i always get these spurts of optimism and resolve that this time will be different, i'll work hard this time and do well blablabla. i guess the issue is i lack discipline to do the things i dont like. maybe im using "i dont like this" as an excuse, i dunno.
sometimes i wish i was a robot. just made to do something and do it well. but i've been coddled my childhood, told im smart and all that bullshit. getting into the special programs at school, taking all the AP classes. and what of it? where has that gotten me? $150k spent by my parents to send me to this school where i cant even give enough fucks to do well
>>709471930
It's cool, i can read it.
It sounds really tough. I've had people lose interest after we spent a bulit of time apart, too. I never understood how they could be so fickle.
>>709472022
Thanks
>I've been lying to my family for the last 3 years, about almost everything.
>I have trouble feeling things now.
>I don't talk to anyone anymore. No one is worth the effort it takes to get to know them so why bother? Who cares? No one cares about anything.
Feels? Not really.
Last monday was my birthday (I'm 19) and no one told me anything. I have family but they don't give a shit about me. i'm keep myself studying and working to keep me out of my home, my gf just left me somedays ago and i have no friends. My life is so fucking sad. When I can't handle it anymore I just go to somewhere just to get drunk, I never did drugs and sometimes I want to because of my shitty life, one of these days I'm going to fucking kill myself. Thanks for this threads guys you all are my only family, sorry for my shitty english btw
>>709472222
Quadsssss!
>>709471882
>she's a bit of a whore and does a lot of drugs but Idc she's hot, smart, and shares my humor
That is really enough to care, and the factors you state you like about her aren't really that much "real" as to really differ from you only having the hots for her.
Anyhow, why do you state she's "a bit of a whore"? share some stories.
>>709471891
nah my school charges a crazy amount, i promised my parents i'd do well if they payed for my education but i feel like such a shithead letting myself down every day. "tomorrow" i tell myself. planning on graduating in biomedical engineering, but probably not going into that field anyway i fuckin hate it.
Just turned 23 this month, Gf dumped me last month. Hooked up with new guy days later. Talked for a while, went no contact. Now I just have been going to work, coming home drinking and sleeping. I feel nothing anymore. Like she drained me of all emotions I had. I don't know what has happened, I also take depression medication and it probably makes me even more numb.
>>709471882
man just nut up and talk to her about it. she already admitted she likes you as more than a friend. find out if she's for real
>>709472417
i guess i have that. thanks anon
>>709457859
>feels based on gf's
Get off the board you underage fuck.
>>709472425
She gets a lot of dick. She's been fucked by 2-3 at once before. She's also borderline insane but Idc about any of that, I'm in love with her and I may have fucked it up forever. My autistic brain wouldn't work with me enough to even listen to her when SHE HERSELF told me that she liked me more than just friends.
>>709458397
This
>>709472586
I have to wait for this current dude to probably strike out when she realizes he just wants pussy. She usually breaks up with people based on this. The only reason she liked me was because we had a real connection. I wasn't super beta about it though, I didn't go full "nice guy".
>>709463279
Happiness is something that the people who try to find it never do. You can't watch a pot boil. Happiness is something that exists in between the cracks. It's little moments where you catch yourself smiling or laughing. It's recognizing that even the bad things should make you happy.
You're life sounds like it's been incredible, and you sound like an amazing person for it. Don't waste the rest of your life searching for the fountain of youth. Just enjoy the moments where you feel like you don't need it.
Peace out.
>>709472361
A couple years ago I met someone like you, he had his birthday and no one to celebrate it with. So he gave me his address and I got him something. Just a knife set (something he needsed, actually). We still talk and he's doing better.
I hope you find someone.
If you can graduate and start making enough to quickly pay down that debt, i suggest do it and start over again when you're in a position with little or no debt.
Good luck.
>>709472628
:]
>>709472334
has your relationship with your parents always been bad? mine has and i always lie to them about shit. feel bad about it, we kind of avoid talking, especially about gushy love shit it's uncomfortable.
but don't be so cynical. there are people out there who will like you and care about you. they're just hard to find
>>709462662
Blood thinners, Coke, snare wire and a knife or helium tank + mask
>>709472222
I think that the thing is that as time goes by it's harder to just overlook the fact that something is hard, or that it really requires effort in order to work out. I know because I can relate to almost everything you've said and I'm as old as you, I've really put some thought into this kind of stuff and all I can conclude is that the real hardships are just overcoming difficulties when you're used to everything working out easily and smoothly given the fact that it was when you were younger, but shit man, you just gotta keep trying until you don't even realize that you're doing it, maybe the only difference from the early days was that we really didn't put much time thinking about what we were doing but as to what we wanted to archive, and now that we're on it and life is stumbling upon us we're getting blind by responsibilities and can't really just enjoy ourselves. Shit, I kinda overthought all of this hahaha, anyways, I hope this may give you some other perspective to the topic
>>709473132
sounds like she aint that bad man. dont wait for him to strike out though, that's a waste of time. maybe she's insecure and just wants other dudes' attention
>>709472434
If you can graduate and start making enough to quickly pay down that debt, i suggest do it and start over again when you're in a position with little or no debt.
Good luck.
>>709466493
True /b/ro right here
>>709473500
Y'know what dude? I'm gonna listen to you. Fuck all this being beta bullshit. Thank you. You might've changed my life anon. I'll text her right now.
>>709473349
yeah. my dad used to say that most things in life you dont like doing, but you must. my parents are both 1st gen immigrants so they've had it rough compared to me. i guess part of it is just growing up and realizing i have to fight my own battles and can't keep running. thanks man
>>709472870
>she liked me more than just friends
You're in love, she just likes you
You might as well just be another one of those 2-3 guys on the scenario at once
Or maybe as I don't know the girl I'm just judging on your statement shit that might not be real, but only you know since you know her.
My opinion is that if you're the only one thinking of "love" when she is not the you're better off without her, it may hurt but you need to move on or it'll hurt worse and for longer. Now, if you only want to get on her pants and you're cool with whatever may happen once you commit your feelings go for it.
Just be careful annon, don't want anything bad happening to you.
>>709472309
Really hurts tho. Dad had cancer i really could have used somebody at this time.
>Be me 23 now
>Depressed since 16 years old
>Always chasing the girl, to afraid to get attached
>Resorted to self abuse to help comfort myself.
>Starvation, over eating, cutting, med abuse you name it
>Lately its just affected me more and more
>Just giving up, well I shouldn't say I am giving up I have given up.
>To the point where I have written my note but am to deciding on weather this is really what I want.
>I just want to know if I am going to be okay.
>I just want to know... I want to ask for help but am to afraid too...
>If I do decide to go through with it, I will tell one person my good friend. Hopefully she can talk me out of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diiZ5gCJ6vY
Stuck in a shit marriage with 2 kids. Scared of change so I won't get a divorce.
>>709473932
is there anything you enjoy in life? anything you want to do that you haven't yet?
>>709473825
Well, I use love lightly first. But I see wha you mean and trust me, looking back, I had the biggest fucking signs ever and told myself she could never like me. I'm gonna at least try. And thanks for your concern man.
fell in love with someone i shouldnt have fell in love with. miss her so much. i feel so empty.
>>709473757
One last word for once you're out there fighting your own battles, in the occidental perspective things are only worth what it's archived by them. Different from oriental perspective, in which the only failure is to not try and learn.
This said remember that losing a battle is not failing, 'cause now you've learn a way to not battle, if you don't want to lose.
Have a nice life annon! I really enjoyed myself talking to you.
>have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to battle through traffic to spend 12 hours at a place i don't want to be with people i have nothing in common with for pitiful pay and nowhere to move up
>no dreams or aspirations, no idea what i want in life so i just end up sticking with the shit i got since i'm easily replaceable and work is slim pickings right now
>no friends and my family keeps away from each other because each of them just as miserable
>each day feels like the same one on loop
>keep waking up doing it all over again
i don't want to die or anything, but sometimes i find myself sitting there wondering what's the point.
>>709474153
There is many things, but the good is so few and the bad is so many. I guess in the end I just want to be normal and have this stop. The pointless injuring, the pointless anger the much needed happiness.
>The cut only hides my injury. Barely showing the world what is inside me. A broken down man is all that's inside.
I've got myself into a bit of good old bother friends, hopefully one of you can guide me through the dark and into the light.
A girl has taken to me as a support beam for a recent bereavement in her family, I've experienced what she has and I write off a beautiful list of cliches which she tells me makes her feel better, she comes back for me so it must be helping in one manner.
The problem I have that it's opening old wounds, I should be in sleep right now but instead I'm in a feels thread and without reading a post I'm crying already.
I want to help this girl and I don't have an underlying goal besides helping her so what can I do?
How do you cope with sacrifice?
>>709474463
thanks man, appreciate it
>>709474535
i feel you man. try to find something to live for. talk to your friend when you feel overwhelmed, maybe she can help
>>709471080
If you want more than she does, ya- it would be a good idea (or at least not a bad one).
>>709473893
You have me, if you'd like the company of a 31 yr old
>>709474593
You don't. Take it from a man who's cared for more people and barely focused on himself, in the end you can only help so much. She/He will in the be there for you but only once they sort it out. I've long since needed a support beam as you said, I don't have that. I need one but I simply don't. Many years of this nonsense and all I want is to be happy. Happy and normal. Be there for her, tell her how you feel, she'll understand but in the end don't forget about yourself.
>>709473932
>>709474535
Me above.
Help her but help yourself first.
>>709474808
Many things use to help me before this. As dumb as it sounds a fire in the woods always use too, before that hiking, before that talking to strangers on the street and helping them, long since have I done that. I just need to figure out what I want in life, if I want to even really live anymore. In the end, I often think about death more then I do about my future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWsTpEBut88
Seriously long read but it never fails to make me sob uncontrollably
>>709466194
>>709468382
Drop her anon, just drop her.
>>709475276
Thanks anon, I'm >>709474593
I think giving myself focus on her issues has pushed me into a painful clarity and self realisation that she will eventually be happy again and I can carry on as I am.
>>709474593
my close friend used to have a girlfriend that he felt was his responsibility to "fix." she was abusive, and everyone saw it, but he was determined to help her. it didnt end well, and was a painful few years for him. it seems you're in a similar spot, and i'm telling you it's not your responsibility to this girl. you are not jesus, you dont have to die for her sins. of course you shouldn't just abandon her, but put your own needs first.
>>709468382
>>709475934
she clearly still has feelings for her ex, this is a red flag
>>709476050
As dumb as it sounds, don't leave her but put yourself first. In the end you'll wish to of helped her if she does something. Put yourself first but make sure she'll be okay. Make sure she will be okay but make sure you will too.
>A friend of mine has recently taken his own life and I wish to say this at the funeral.
In most eulogies, we talk about the great things that a person now no longer with us achieved in life.
But the cruelty of Dan passing at such an early age leaves us inevitably open to stark thoughts of what he might have done, what he might have become, who he might have been were it not for the tragedy of his taking his own life so young.
We cannot know what inward conflicts left him feeling that there was no way for him to go on, and it does us no good to bring back small details of sadness in the search for a solution to this mystery.
But in the same sense, I have not come here to paint a picture, in my mind or in yours, of where Dan's passion, talents, and openness to the wonders of the world around him might have led. I am not here to invoke endless wondering about the fate of the woman who might have married him, the places he might have seen, the children he shall not now have.
I am here to remember him as he was: a gifted scholar, a talented comedian but most of all one with the soul of an artist. I remember him as someone that even in his own time of need was always there by the side of his family and those he loved. I remember him as a young man with troubles, never at ease with the age in which he was born, yet never shrinking from what he knew to be right.
I remember Dan as my friend.
>>709476577
rip Dan
fuck man that's powerful. poetic but not pretentious
>>709476577
Someone screen cap this, I'm on my phone & can't
>>709476489
She's safe now, she wasn't in danger or putting herself at physical risk but she was like a lost sheep. She's back in the pen now but I've closed the gate on myself. As I offered my support in her time of need I brought up a dreadful past. I feel naked talking to her.
>>709476687
>>709477043
I have a confession to make, I wrote this and this is the best friend I had and it's why I struggle and i cant do it
>>709477205
i think i want to die now like dan did
i cant helpit
>>709477205
As long as shes okay, thats all that matters. Make sure to make sure you are okay. I know I am not lately. I stopped for a short while but now have started back up but even worse. Not sure how I am going to deal with this anymore. No clue anymore no clue.
>Looking at pictures of my friend crying. Pretty fucking pathetic if I may say so myself.
>>709477449
like you i cant do it, im thinking of dan and how we had fun and hes gone so i cant have fun anyumore and i cant
ih avent been at all better since he went and i cant get better
>>709477205
man funerals are for the living. ultimately Dan won't mind if you do or don't share it. If it helps you come to grips with his death, or if it might help someone else, consider doing it. But just writing it down is already a powerful first step man
>>709466194
FUck you
>>709477298
how great it is to be remembered only for your positives. it does make it seem tempting, thinking about what people might say at your own funeral. but dont do it! live a proper life worthy of a eulogy like that
>>709457859
me and my gfof two years broke up today
so many thing going through my head
My girlfriend doesn't want to date me. She tells me it's because she doesn't feel like she's good enough for me and that I should go find someone better. One time she got drunk and told me that her friends were right and she should break up with me. She changed her mind when I cried but I never really recovered. Every time we argue about something she says it means that our relationship won't work.
What does it mean?
>>709477561
In time wounds will heal
In time things will get better
In time you learn to deal with things
In time you learn that you will never get over it
In time you learn that everything must get better
In time things have to get better right...?
I keep on telling myself this but I am not to sure anymore. I was anorexic for a while til my kidneys started shutting down. I started puking and pissing out brown piss. I ended up in the hospital. Just a story I'd share with you. You are on the opposite table then me. I want to go but you are the friend which I'd be leaving behind.
>>709477972
I feel like I've been in a grave tonight and you've pulled me out, thank you anon from the bottom of my fucking heart i fucking thank you
>>709465398
he doesn't look very happy tbh tho...
>>709478204
thank you for being my best friend
>>709478300
glad I could help, didn't know my words could mean so much :)
>>709478472
Thank you for showing some light on the other side I have never seen nor heard from. Thank you my fellow anon.
>>709478167
she's insecure for some reason. are you popular or successful in some way? maybe she feels inferior to you. the important thing is to remind her that her friends have no right telling her you're too good for her. that's up to you, and you chose her and you choose her every day. looks and shit arent the only factors in determining whos right for someone else. remind her
These threads are one of the few reasons I still go on this site, lads. You guys have helped me get through some times in the past and I'm quite thankful for that.
All I can really say is to keep on keeping on, friends. You're better than you think you are.
Everyone says one day it'll get better. But it's only gotten worse, and I really have been trying. I stop talking to those close to me about this because I don't want to drag them down too.
>>709479318
Same here. The only reason i come here is for the feels threads.
>be me
>dating girl for 4 years and some change
>having difficult time finding a job after getting out of college
>leave to go work so i can help her out some
>complains for the first few weeks about me being away but eventually stops
>asks for increasingly higher and higher amounts of money
>gets to the point where i can barely make bill and rent payments
>end up only eating once a day at work or if I'm lucky getting to take a few sandwhiches back home with me
>our friends start pulling themselves away from me
>after two years of doing this friends completely stop talking to me
>don't care as long as I have her
>decide to take time off work to go see her before my vacation comes up
>had to borrow money from parents to get back
>come back and find key to apartment gf was renting doesn't work
>talk to land lord
>tells me she moved out almost a year ago
>text her asking whats going out
>tells me to meet her at a coffee shop we went to on a few dates
>show up and she's sitting with some dude
>tells me she's leaving me to be with him
>heart feels like it has literally stopped beating
>can't help but cry
>her and the dude start laughing
>leave and end up crashing at my parents house the next town over
>spend the little money I have and get completely hammered
>drunk text her telling her I love her
>calls me a creep and tells me to fuck off
This happened two months days ago /b/, Went back up to start working again. I use to love my job but now it just feels empty. I feel empty. Apparently I'm a pretty good actor since none of my coworkers have noticed a change, or if they have they don't give enough shits to say anything. All the friends i once had have left, she's apparently been spreading rumors about me telling everyone I've cheated on her and i was beating her before i came up here.
What the fuck did i do wrong? I just wanted to help her, four fucking years just to have the only person i'd ever truly cared about toss me away like this?
>>709479512
fuck that talk to your friends they know you better than we do. good friends aren't just people that you hang out with only during the good times.
>>709479978
always a red flag when you start losing friends bc of a gf. you're better than she is. chin up. forget about her, even though it's hard. you deserve better. and you will find someone new
>>709463279
6 figure salary, wife, 2 kids, endless hours at work, no time to even watch the fucking shows every other asshole who doesn't work watches, socially detached... doesn't matter, got a low 5 figures into my 401k. think endgame here when you're 50 and facing the end of being out of the workforce and having a lovely bed complete with retirement funds. im good with being misreable at 33 to enjoy happy me at 53
>>709462483
This was me. Opiates. Pills for 9 years, heroin for 2. I had nothing in life and then as my addiction began I found and got the love of my life, and business opportunities with my best friend. My habit consumed my life and ruined everything around me. Here I am 11 years later at 31, finally clean, getting my life on track, but starting over, trying to repair all the damage. 11 years spent frozen in time I'll never get back. Unless you die, you're only delaying moving forward in life, anon. Get help.
>>709480243
Fuck man I've tried. Problem is when ever i try to flirt with a girl i end up having a panic attack thinking she'll be just like my ex. Seriously think I've developed some sort of gynophobia or something like it anyway.
I watched my mother die of heart attack at 4 am november 9th 1997
3 months later my father remarried
6 months after that we moved to a new state
1 year later he died from cancer/kemo
My home burns to the ground at his funeral
Adopted by gypsies
become child slave
drugs and manipulation
brain washing
Run away at 18
fail
taken to 56th and cincannati by gypsy
gun to back of head beg for life
taken home and kept as slave
attempt suicide
end up in hospital
cant beleive I asked the paramedic why they keep lizards in a ambulance
escape slavery
obtain G.E.D
get license
go to college
reconnect with highschool girlfriend
she had no idea
im to crazy
she runs to another country
find new girl in college
"hey I like your shoes"
6 years of confiding my pain in her
living a life that is stable
I begin to feel normal
one day girl has friends over
they are not here to visit
she never loved me and is done trying
friends help her pack
leaves for new state
She wont talk to me
Ill never see her again
everyone I loved in youth is dead
everyone I love now well eventually be driven to hate me
Im broken and fucked up
>>709479999
They're just getting sick of it. I don't blend them, I'm a social person but when I'm sad I'm just a fucking mess
would making up characters to talk to do any harm?
>>709481502
Been there. Psychology it's probably not the best but oh well
>>709480836
unexpectedly, your trust in women has been shattered. maybe just focus on yourself for the time being?
>>709467800
Ate you still here?
I've been closeted since I found out I was gay. I'm too scared to tell anyone. I'm afraid of being made fun of or losing the 'friends' that I have. I just want to be held and be told that I am loved. I daydream of a better tomorrow for myself but they never come true.
>>709482779
I just want a cutie 3,14 boyfriend, we have so much for each other
>>709482779
how old are you and where do you live?
>23
>depressed since I can remember (preteen)
>cant feel empathy when people talk about problems and have to fake it
>feel no passion towards anything and struggle to stick with things to get better at them
>like video games and lifting but no passion as mentioned
>cant tell any family members i love them
>3 year relationship i got dumped out of half a year ago
I just feel like I'm existing guys. Laying here because I can't sleep like usual just wondering why I have never felt passionate or real happiness. These "just man up" styled posts just seem stupid every time I read them. It doesn't make a difference. We who feel this way know it's permanent. I still refuse to kill myself just because dying is just as pointless.
>>709483152
i realize this sounds a bit creepy but i just want to know if it's an environment where you could feasibly come out without getting stoned
tfw ur going in a trip of 4 days with friends , and your best friend tell you , if u act like a depressing idiot im not your friend anymore... its tomorrow, the problem is , if i go there i lost my friends and if not i loose them too.
My life is not the fucking worst...but i hate it , the girl i loved for 4 years and my first time 1 month ago , dont talk to me anymore
>sorry anon , no time , study and work a lot
tfw a guy tag her in a lot of places and now he is his boyfriend
no work for nearly 7 months , no money or time to study , living with mother and paying for everything(i saved some money for emergency times like unemployed, etc)
24 yo , soon to be 25....and my life is empty , im sleeping like 4 hours daily and started smokinglast week , just want to die right now...
>>709483238
I rather not meet up with anyone from 4chan or say my age. But I live in 3rd world country shit hole. I am saving up to move to the USA though.
everyone in this thread is a pussy nigger loving retard
>>709483437
Good luck
>>709483535
nobody cares
I haven't felt happiness in about a year
>>709483652
exactly nobody cares about your bitch ass problems just kys lol
>>709483437
nah i dont want to meet up but i wish you the best in your situation. coming out as gay isnt usually as big of a deal in the US unless your family is super conservative or something. good luck man.
>>709483381
Man up, everything you described does not fall under the "life ruining shit" category.
You're young. Quit being a smug fucker and thinking your life is already done. 10 years from now you'll be embarrassed you wrote shit like this
>>709483840
lol do you feel better now
>>709483840
>2010 9gag tier image macros
step it up nerd
>>709483437
Please don't. Stay in said shithole country.
>>709484002
yeah had a good laugh, peace you emo faggot
>>709484128
nice. later nigger
>>709483727
I love you, anon
>>709484204
obvious troll is obvious
>>709483437
Come to canada dude, you'll be better off
It's mostly the face that I know I'll never get anywhere in live and I'm not doing that good in school because of my insomnia and I know I'll never find love
>>709484795
That's the best part. You DONT know. But nothing is going to happen unless you work for it
>>709484795
You found me, anon
Figures nobody ever replies to my shit on here lol. Fuck you all.
>>709485396
we r 2 , :l
23 feel nothing after gf broke up with me. She mentally abused me till I couldn't feel anymore. I just go thru each day, working... drinking... sleeping. Gaming here and there.
>>709485870
this chapter was ....wow so sad
>Only real friend is on steam
>Mom doesn't like me because I don't go anywhere and have no friends
>Dad left when I was born
>The 3 girls I loved never really liked me and b8ed me and one sent fake nudes
>I've never been happy in life when someone smiles at me I just fake a smile and go back to my room and play games until I get tired and go to school and come back home and just play games all day..
>>709485920
Been lessening to the ending track all day just staring at my window.caught myself breaking down on camera
>>709486189
thats how my life feels sometimes anon but with the internet like it is today I have so many people who I am close to that I can talk to about anything and just help me keep from being so depressed all the time. Life becomes so much easier if you have great friends to have your back
She's the most important person in the world to me, but I'm nowhere close for her.
>>709464113
You died that night. Everything else was just epilogue
>>709486545
got the name of the track? :L
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9k_HUq1Kd4
>>709487071
Chaos Chaos-Do You Feel It
>>709487263
thanks
is it better to be forever alone or to have suddenly become alone
>>709466194
>You'll never make someone happy
got to me
from this thread and myself id say forever alone is better
I've been lurking here for a long time now but i have never shared my story so here im writing it with a small bottle of vodka in my pocket and pint of beer on the table
>be me
>18 y/o
>high school
>pretty good grades
>apear normal on outside
>3 friends
>only had one girlfriend for about 4 months so no a kissles virgin but only a virgin
>Only talk to friends when in school exp to one girl who i occasionally drink with but she is in a more than 5 year relationship so we are only friends
>at home talk to others maximum 10minutes per day
>suicidal thoughts on dayly basis
>Know that suicide is the best way to go but still hoping for a better life so i dont do it
>ecery day think about how life is meaningless and that i will soon die - nothing i do will ever matter - i will be forgoten - learned to deal with it
>became numb to everything need for human contact - it's the only thing that keeps me from going insane
>dont care what happens - not gonna kill myself but no gonna stop anyonr or anything from killing me
Today:
>failed my driving for the fourth time
>evryone i know did it in first 3 tryes
>i know i should feel like a complete failiour but donz
>still cant feel anything
>would have to go to school
>cand get myself to do it
>went to the store and bought vodka and sat down in the bar in front of the store and ordered a beer
>it's 9 am and and i'm already having existential crysis that i'm drowning in alcohol
>Writing this story because it's the only thing keeping me from reaching in my pocket to take a knife and slit my throat
TFW ur having sex with a girl that wanted it and all ok , and after like 1 hour she say , "do you enjoy raping me" ? she puke like 30 mins after we finished and were sleeping , and she say im not coming again and went sleeping again, in the morning we did it again ....after that day i have not seen her , she is to busy to go out with me...
i dont know if she was trying to be "dirty" or what...but now i think of it and feel like a bag of shit, mostly because i think i love her...
GOD DAMMIT
>sorry for my shit english
I fell in love with a girl with aspergers back in high school. Nobody liked her because of her aspergers, she was loud, talked way too much, and spoke to herself and all this other weird shit, even though she was cute as fuck.
I had Creative Writing class with her and it was second semester and it was starting to be nice out so the teacher would bring the class outside to freewrite. She always tried talking to me but I always ignored her because once you start a conversation with her, she'll never end it. I started talking to her every week until she eventually pulled my ass and started to kiss me (she was my first kiss).
We would then meet up after school just to make out. Or we'd walk to the store and eat something together. But then I realized that mentally she was a wreck so I had to stop seeing her. When I told her this she started crying....
And that was the only girl I ever kissed.
>>709489095
you could have been her happiness, anon
>>709489095
Do you have a tail?
>>709489249
I feel bad, because I was never able to get a girl's attention ever again. I would probably still be with her even with her condition if I knew it would all end up like this
>>709489330
Nope
Why let someone go that loves you more then anything even if the love you hold for them doesn't seem to compare?
This will probably fall on deaf ears but just hang in there boys. I'm a socially awkward nerd that got cucked while I was in boot camp and I don't think I've ever felt so much pain in my life. Being tired of being lonely, I put myself out there and I met the girl of my dreams. She's really out there /b/ros. Don't lose hope just yet
>>709465586
fuck, this actually hit me hard.
>>709489968
daily reminder that you can't get cucked unless you're actively involved. you just got cheated on.
>>709490029
I know that but the dank meme tho
>tfw finally stop hating myself
>tfw my life stops being stagnant
>tfw I no longer have suicidal thoughts for the first time in a decade
>tfw I finally get a girlfriend
>tfw she says my dick is the biggest she's had
>tfw I finally have a couple thousand dollars to my name
>>709489985
thanks for pointing this out
>>709465586
Holy shit my face is soaked. my feels for this Anon are to real. Walt disney knew step mothers were fucked up.
>>709490285
>tfw I am the master of my universe
>tfw A bad environment does not have to be my mood.
>tfw meeting my own expectations
>tfw better than yesterday
Stay happy space cowboys and girls.
Pimp your life out, it ain't easy but it is necessary.
I just want you all to know, while you guys are crying over fucking mortal problems. I'm watching and you deserve to be where you are.
how i wish all life was a dream i will eventually wake up from
>>709491014
you're not anything other than mortal yourself
>>709491019
i wish that...and wake up at 14 Yo when everything started to fuck up :L
I keep cumming onto a blanket
>>709491014
because women are all actually one collective succubus? I could prove this mathematically with the posts in this thread
>>709491190
Uh huh :^)
>>709491346
consider death by your own hands
>>709491506
>>709491602
highly consider death by your own hands
>>709465789
i wrote this
>>709491631
>>709491900
very much consider death by your own hands
Dear /b/,
My story so far.
>been homeless twice
>after enduring 3 years of absolute hell, because of aforementionend fact I get a new flat.
>move in, feel like shit. I think it's nothing, maybe a cold.
>2 days forward. It's cancer.
>Luckily got free healthcare in my cucked country.
>endure pain like never before.
>as of now I survived.
>I am deeply depressed. I just don't see my purpose in life other than to suffer.
>go to Rehabilitation clinic.
>meet wonderful girl there. She went through the same chemo.
>fall in love.
>it's a 9 hour drive to her.
>I am alone again.
>everything is just so pointless.
>>709491945
Iv'e run out of memes
>>709492072
continue to contemplate the possibility of your death by your own hands
>>709485870
What is that?
>>709492163
I lied
>>709469710
I'm in a situation a lot like yours. I'm in a very good college, my grades have been mediocre at best, I'm failing everything this semester and I haven't told my parents how bad it is, they just think I'm like a week behind. I spend all day listening to music, playing video games, and streaming tv shows instead of doing my work, which I just can't bring myself to do. My friends are succeeding or at least hanging on, while I'm spiraling downwards. Like you, I know I'm doing pretty much the exact opposite of what I should be doing, but I feel powerless to change.
>>709492347
please i would implore to deeply consider a future path in your life which would lead to your death caused by yourself
She loves someone and it isnt me
>>709492235
what do you mean? its rick and morty.ending to the unity episode
>>709459369
Holy shit.
I know this feel.
http://sendvid.com/xpnro01d
>>709492432
Iv'e got more memes than you could ever handle big boi
>>709492489
Never heard of it until now
>>709492712
person on the internet, i think that it would be preferable if you took my advice to heart and took some time to think about the benefits of causing your own death
Got kicked from my DnD group for "annoying everyone" despite nobody speaking up all this time.
>Friend tells me through text that his friends don't owe me an explanation
>Puts blame on himself
>Tries to play off as a "styles don't mesh" thing
Should I just tell him to fuck off?
>>709492820
I bet you can relate
>>709493172
i've never considered suicide. but you could and should, non-mortal
>>709493069
no, that will just cause conflict. Just say alright, take the hit, and find another group or make your own.
>>709493069
IS THIS WHAT YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT? WHAT THE FUCK
>>709493247
what I'm thinking, but might as well get the edgelords out of here while you can.
>>709493201
I was referring to the image as a petty way to annoy you anon. Here's another image you might like.
All my relatives live 100 of miles away, I lost my wife of 13 years and my 8 yr old daughter, I got troubles with the law. Unpaid bills, and it all stems from me being in love with someone else from years ago, more than a decade ago, and she has come back into my life agian and as happy as I want to be in am still sad.
>>709493214
His friends are from a while back. Just some history.
>He gets into some bad stuff
>Friends all fuck off
>Ends up homeless
>Enter me
>We get along
>Friends are basically being pricks while he's trying to re-establish himself
>Family and friends want nothing to do with him because he's the "failure".
>Hang out a ton, we have our moments
>Skip to present day
>He invites me to hang out and play some DnD
>Invites a few of his friends
>Past year or so, we've been getting together and playing DnD or some obscure shit
>Last weekend, work with him while waiting for everyone to arrive
>Nobody pipes up and tells me to cool my autism
>Get text yesterday after asking friend about something I may have missed with my character
>We're just gonna go on without you
>My friends don't owe you an explanation. What you do at the table isn't the result of a deepseated character flaw, it's that your styles don't mesh
>They thought you were annoying
>mfw
I just want to bash someone's skull in after that.
>>709493440
oh, sorry. i haven't ever been able to suck my own penis, although i have tried a bit. i'm just not that flexible. honestly, i think it would probably be weird and i wouldn't be able to finish even if i were able to pull it off. and i don't worry about sucking my own dick because i can just instead 'pull it off' and come that way. also, it would be preferable to me if you were able to find yourself in a situation where you'd seriously and carefully consider the option of causing your own death.
sucking your own dick is more the sensation of sucking a dick then getting your dick sucked
>>709493673
yeah that's what i figured.
>>709462662
I was in the same boat about 4 years ago. I decided to step up the od'ing process a notch due to its statistically low success rate. So on top of completing a 24 case of beer, proceeding to ingest fistfuls of klonopin, ambien, and seroquel, I then slit both wrists wide open with a hunting knife. I passed out soon afterwards, and lost enough blood to soak through my mattress and leave a large pool of blood on my bedroom floor. I didn't even wind up in a coma, let alone come anywhere close to dying. I would suggest looking into an exit bag if you are completely sure you want to commit. This is not the method to use in an lighthearted attempt, since permanent brain damage is often the best case scenario if you fail. I know a guy who even survived a gunshot to the head attempt. He made the amateur mistake of shooting through one temple and out the other, missing anything vital. keep in mind that nearly no attempt is foolproof, and if you decide to follow through, do your research first and consider all factors. i also knew a trained medic who set both arms to drain continuously while passing out in the bathtub. both arms clotted just enough to drastically slow blood loss, keeping him alive until the next morning when he was found. One factor to consider is that you are in a location where you are not at risk of some hero finding you too soon. Keep in mind that goodbyes are also a bad idea, they send a red flag, often resulting in counteraction taking place to stop you. If you have to say goodbyes, save it for letters, stored and not left out where they will be immediately found, reducing the risk of them being found too soon, thus possibly fucking up your attempt as well.
>>709493538
shitty, but I assume there's bigger things to worry about. Same thing happened to me in my DnD session. not telling you that you a bitch, but it's better to just move on..sorry anon.
>>709493814
There are bigger things to worry about, but I don't like it when someone has to act as an intermediary for people who can't even speak up when the case is relevant. A couple days later is such a bitch move.
>>709493595
>This is you right now
>>709488680
she sounds really fucking unstable. my advice would be move on and don't pursue contact with her in the future. it's really hard to say what her deal is. it could be that she has a rape fantasy and also gets a feeling of empowerment from using people, intentionally making them falsely feel like they fucked up, then throwing them away. either way, she sounds unstable, and the love you think you feel is likely the sex and false guilt. you can't fix crazy, you can only recognize the signs and avoid it in the future.
>>709478405
What book is this?
>>709472870
Know the difference between lust and love
