When's the last time you had sex?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
When's the last time you had sex?
2012 if I recall
Never
Feelsbadman
about a month ago. long distance relationships suck
3 days ago
>>709370204
if I get trips then we'll say tomorrow I'll have sex
About 7 hours ago after taking the gf to Wasabi for some sushi my dude.
>>709370204
two days ago
in about 45 mins
>>709370204
2012ish
>>709370331
rolling in shame
>>709370446
>>709370331
HAAAHAHAHA TWO OFF EVERY TIME
>>709370204
2002
>>709370204
2 weeks ago
12 years ago... I think.
>>709370204
2014
a bit over a week ago.
I can't compete against these high scorers
>>709370577
>>709370490
>>709370331
fuck it I guess i'll never have sex...
never... virgin confirmed
3 months or more :(
On Monday I got a blowjob from my GF. We could have fucked but I felt like nutting in her mouth.
>be 21
>be virgin
>>709370661
not having sex is honestly the only thing i'm good at
>>709370665
IT IS CONFIRMED
SATAN LAUGHING SHITS ON YOUR RNG
>>709370674
You know fucking nothing
>>709370665
why has kek forsaken me?
>>709370204
spring 2015. feel good about it. It's like I'm a virgin again. Plus I'm dating a virgin. I was her first kiss about a month ago
>>709370777
Congrats. PICS
>>709370777
HOLY KEK
You have scored his numerals, my man
>>709370793
Aw, that's so cute
>>709370204
5 or 6 years
a week ago gf got a uti :(
>>709370777
lel god loves you
>>709370204
Its been a couple weeks. Not that i care. Btw i love those calvin kline thongs. No idea why
>>709370801
if the prophecy is true and the thread is alive, I will my son.
About 3 hours ago. steady sex flow. can't go past 3 days with my gf before we need to get our nut.
>>709370204
bit over a month ago, either september 16 or the morning after that.
two days ago, I got fucked in a gay sex club
6 years ago. Only obvious chance on sex got cockblocked.
A few months ago but I'm not really down to pursue it right now tbh
1yr, 10 months, 25 days
March, longest I've gone without. All the girls I used to fuck have boyfriends now. Considering Tinder here soon but don't really feel like putting any effort into it. Anyone have success with it?
This morning (18hrs ago) before class.
>>709371200
lel
>>709370204
Never had it, and I'm already 24.
>>709370204
last saturday.
>>709371200
Yeah man, ive fucked a few bitches off Tinder. Just set up a decent profile, look at a guide online if you want to, then just ask to meet up with girls.
Don't try be their friend. Make your introduction, have your small talk then make your move.
>>709370793
gross virgins are the worst fucks unless you're wifing up for long term relationship.
>>709370204
yo op I know this picture, where did you get it?
>>709370204
Hm, let me think. Oh yea, never
>>709370204
3rd March 2011
>>709370758
underrated post
>>709370204
July
>>709370204
Fucked my ex-GF after watching the MotoGP race on Jerez last April and then fucked another ex-GF right after watching the MotoGP race on Mugello last May. Both stayed home after a party and I wasn't going to miss some good races for a good couple of shags...
>>709371200
>>709371396
Don't bother unless you're relatively good looking. Also it's important to be able to spot catfish gotta do your research. Lotta whales on there post pics from when they weren't Monstro sized.
>>709370204
About an hour ago
>Fat bitch raw dog didn't plan it
>The stereotypes of them sucking like thirsty eithiopians is true
My wife is out of town visiting dying father
Feels horrible
I'm a piece of shit
>>709370204
march 5th 2009
OP WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PIC????
>>709370204
A few months ago
Let me titty fuck her last three nights in a row. Im loving that titty fuxkin.
>>709370204
last night, if my gf pegging my butt counts
September 2015
>>709371726
I want this
I just got out of jail so 2years with a woman and 6 months with a man
>>709371624
Story
2012, lost my V-Card to a Whore. Charged me $95.
>>709370758
You dont really have to try very much...
>>709371396
>>709371618
Worth a shot. I'm not half bad looking and never really had a problem getting laid, I just don't see the point of putting an effort into a girl when I'm not interested in anything serious.
Use Grindr
>implying any one of you pathetic fucks have ever even talked to a girl
>>709371961
But if we try, we loose the only thing we are good at!
I'm married, last time I had sex was last night. The last time before that was about a month ago.
To be honest, I'm either getting too old and losing my libido or just not interested in having sex any more.
Even before I got married, I was having sex regularly, but I could have lived without it. I'm 37 now and by around 35, my dick had less control over my actions than it did just a few years ago.
It's nice to not have every decision I make be motivated by pushy. I think more clearly and make more sound choices.
I feel sorry for younger guys out there that are plagued with the compulsion to get laid.
Sounds awesome, I've always wanted to be pegged
>>709372222
noice quads m8
>>709372154
Yeah bitchs will be flocking to the dick within moments
Chicks dig grindr (Trap)
>>709372222
Quads of truth!
This morning.
>>709370204
Saturday. But I paid for it.
>>709371846
Alright here it goes
>Be me
>19
>Married high school sweetheart
>Things are gud gud
>Stack money get apartment go do shit
>Hardly any problems
>Solid 7.5/10
>Get call from hospital one day and she tells me her dad is dying lung cancer
Oh boy
>Can't take time off work so just fly her out there
>It's only fucking week three
>Skype sex isn't enough anymore I'm 19 wtf testosterone says I need pussy
>Fuck it 1000 mile rule right ?
Cont?
Pic is wife
>>709371471
yeah, thinking about it actually. Not sure though. pretty early to tell but she makes me smile and so far there hasn't been anytime I haven't wanted to be around her... Thoughts?
>>709372222
Im 22 but i never really been driven by sex, i do have a gf of 4 years and i never had anyone else, we do sometimes have sex like 3 times per day but it just happens after hugging and stuff, neither of us really thinks about it.
Also had sex last weekend, SO have been away for few days
>>709372220
I dont have to try... i am like donald trump... Everybody likes me a tries to fuck me...
About two weeks ago... Lost my virginity. Then we broke up cause bitch was crazy and I was sick of putting up with so much shit for so long...
>>709372549
>married at 19
>married to a 2/10
>married to a flat bitch
Hahaha faggot
>>709370858
same here
>>709370204
Middle of June. Also when I lost my virginity.
>>709372549
>So sign up for tinder n shit
>Start posting pics
>Get few likes and shit
>Have mostly dead ends with sloots
>Just liking random shit
> Today liked pic related and get message a few hours ago
>Oh I see you like my pics anon you think I'm cute?
Yep fucking hot
>I just got a new king size bed and it's awfully lonely
>Oh cool
Guilty already feel so guilty
>You should come over I'm cooking naked right now
Wut
Kek
Ok
>Say fuck it whatevs
>Bronco is still in process of being fixed so have to city bus it like broke fag
>Oh don't worry anon I know the bus system well
And that's where I should have noped out that was the first clue
Cont?
Does having your cousin suck your dick count?
>>709373060
>Get on bus and bus down to transit center then over where she told me to get off
>Get off she tells me cross street to blah blah estates
K
>Look across street
>Double and single wide trailer trash park
......
......
......
*Light cigarette*
Fuck
Cont
Sunday night at like 2am, to the tune of my sister and her ex boyfriend screaming and fighting with eachother.
>>709370204
Last night. Fucked a hooker.
>>709371200
Tinder is not what is used to be, it used to be easy for going out/hooking up. It's largely now a validation app.
Few months ago in my cramp hatchback to my ex of 2 years.
>>709373307
but she got a king size bed tho so must be a nice trailer
>>709373442
"Validation app" explain
Nov 7th will be a year.
>>709373533
Not same anon but guaranteed he's talking about bitches only wanting guys to tell them how pretty they are.
2,5 years at least...
>>709370204
I'm wizard.
>>709371594
>>709373516
Kek
>>709373599
Ok gotcha well damn never used it but that kinda defeats the purpose bitches ruin everything
>>709373635
Me to but I have eaten pussy
>>709372549
19 and married? What year is it, 1984?
Have a feeling it's a setup he won't get puss by the end of tgis story
bout 4 years ago
>>709373307
>Cross Street
Says she'll come meet me instead of explaining maze roads
K
>Here comes this fat bitch
>Kek McDonald's is the other way
>Walk right by her
>Get text that says she thinks I just walked right by her
Uh......
.....
Oh boy
>Oh hi anon how did you miss all this
Lol must have been staring at my phone lol
>My place is this way silly
Fuck me
Whatever
>Walk through front door small tapk and what not
>Go to her room
>Hear car pull in driveway
> Oh don't worry its just my mom she doesn't care if I have anyone over
Wut
>Whatever fuck it it can't get worse than this
>Her mom fucking pisses loud as fuck in the shared bathroom sounds like a drunk full bladder jet stream piss
> What the fuck did you break my soap dispenser bitch ?!
>Shut the fuck up mom it was already broken
>Uhh you want to put a movie on
At this point im looking for exit routes through the cheeseburger wrappers
>Floors are creaky as fuck too
Don't worry anon she goes to bed she works alot
K
Cont
This is her final form anons now you see the mistake
>>709373827
3* years ago, I'm 20 and just remembered I last got laid on my 17th birthday. have had a bunch of hook ups/oral ever since, though
>>709370204
sunday
3 years today
>>709370204
1985.
>>709370665
The neighbor of the Beast!
Sat
>>709373864
lmao how the fuck did you not see she was like 300 lbs of pure flobber
wizard
>>709370204
yesterday
>>709370204
Never.
>>709370204
this morning
>>709370204
in this thread op trys to feel better about being a virgin by posting a pic of happy strangers thata bunch of people on b are sopose to be jealous of. if anyone says what I just said u can claim bait.
Last saturday...but dumped after that, so it is unknown for me when will be the next.
Maybe i can become a wizard
>>709374112
dont lie
when you were born, you had your penis inside your mothers vagina
ya motherfucker
>>709373864
No quick escape found and shoes and jacket already off
>Talking and she tells me how she still stalks her exes and how she can find people with just their number
And this is where I fucked up
>Quick process
>I have to take one for the team or shell blow my cover to wife and she's definitely not one I would take over wife
>God fucking fuck fuvkity fuck
>Just don't think about it anon 1000 mile rule right ?
>Start watching some dumb laggy movie about insane asylum that doesn't help my first thoughts on crazy land whale
>Laggy cuz trailer Internet's
>She starts rolling over and I have no choice but to fall into her because giant slope into her nesting spot
>Attempt to put arm around her but can't fully engage
>She rolls over and starts kissing me and rubbing my weenie
>Half chub cuz guilt and not attractive
>Think of wife
Instaboner
>Says she wants to fuck me
Uh don't you think we should take things slow ?
Before I could finish there's udders in my face and then she works way down to start suvking me
>Best head ever
Deepthroat and swirls till almost cum
3 months ago I had sex for the first time lost my virginity didn't care bout lil dick status. started feeling alpha afterwards 4 days ago ate out my roommates wife for half an hour.
>>709374112
its overrated..
>>709374316
define sex
>>709370204
10 months ago.
The ability to jerk off twice a day to an infinite amount of porn pretty much kills my motivation to get laid.
>>709374417
this is me fag rip identity
I had a good week last week:
>working like crazy
>in/out at crazy hours because I work in a kitchen at a brewery that just opened
>end up getting out anywhere from 12-3am every night
>took job and thought i'd have an hero'd by now because no tail, but I have actually been doing well
last sunday
>run into a friend of a friend while out at the bar after work with co workers
>get her #
>leaves, but she hits me up when bar closes
>we bang
>only girl thats ever asked me to hit her so she could cum
I later asked my co worker (he also knows her) and he said "oh yeah, she really likes that. I knocked her out once and she squirted."
Last Wed
>out with co workers cause we got out early
>cruising downtown bars, trying to find any kind of fun (read: blow)
>nothing going on but run into a friend of the head chef's
>happened to be his birthday, so we took him to the strip joint
>shell out $100 so he can get a decent private dance
>run into dancer I know
>gives me a private dance
>tells me to call her (i already had her #. I've been there before and we've shot the shit) cause she gets off at 4am
>leave, call her, she comes over
>screw like rabbits
>she leaves at 630am cause she had to put her kid on the bus
Last Fri
>know girl from a bar
>happen to be at bar and my regular bartender asks if I've seen her cause she left some shit there (phone charger and some weird bag with scrabble pieces in it, shaped like a banana)
>shoot her a text
>she wants shit back and also has beer
>asks me to come over
>bring her shit
>we drink beer and fuck with her kitten
>end up watching Arrested Development and banging
>sneak out in the morning after realizing cat knocked beer onto my chef's coat and I needed to wash it.
I had a date yesterday too. We made out a bit and i saw her titties, but She'll come around this sunday after we get drunk at a Hockey game. Sometimes, the anticipation is fun for me, idk.
>>709374459
Dude, this is the truth of life right here.
>>709374459
Dude this, I still bang my fuck buddy on occasion for the head but shit man I can relate as soon as I bust my sex drive is done
>>709372222
This guy speaks the truth. I'm 27 and recently separated from my wife and now after 11 years of getting laid it's lost interest to me. I don't even care though tbh. When you reach a point where you're happy that you've done everything you want to do sexually it stops being important. Nice to be able to focus on other hobbies for the time being
>>709374272
cont?
Maybe 3 or 4 months ago, I'm in Japan for business and I don't really know how to talk to the Japanese women, they're like scared of Americans or something
>>709370204
Sunday i believe. She always craves the ol' wake n bang combo
>>709374272
>Sucking my soul out almost blow in her mouth
>Then she rips my shorts off and climbs aboard
>I'm not giant but I hardly felt like I was breaking surface tension in that
>Her mom is in other room and she's plopping on me
>Half way through no shit think of how my mom is fat too
Boner annihilated
She gets off and sucks me hard again and right back on the horse
>Managed to keep some sensitivity with 300 pounds plowing on top of me and not sure if in fupa or pussy
>Get close
I'm getting close
>She goes full galop and that bed is about to give out
>Oh fuck no this isn't about to happen
>Use all my force to beach the whale to the side and cum all over her udders
>She licks it all up off each one
That was actually kind of hot
Say I don't feel good and need a smoke
>Ok I'll follow
Fuck
>Go out back and smoke literally shaking from almost dying
>Finish smoke and see if mom is up and could come get me cuz busses stopped running
>Make excuse that mom was leaving a bar from bad date and wanted to come get me
Oh ok text me.ok babe?
She said babe
Nope out of there and run down to gas station and get picked up
>Sitting on porch now chain-smoking shitposting this story here
I have royally fucked up she is going to stalk my ass and blow my cover with wife if I cut her off
Hug me /b/ros >>709374272
Pic is wife that I cheated on for land whale
Fuck my life
>>709370204
last night
Never, and I'm 19 :(
If I don't get laid this year I'm killing myself.
>>709374956
what have u done bro
2014 rip me
>>709371624
>The stereotypes of them sucking like thirsty eithiopians is true
I disagree. Dating a ghubby/fatty and I only get 30 seconds of bowjob before she literally rapes me everytime
>>709370204
6 months ago. My girlfriend doesn't fuck me anymore.
>>709374956
Dude I actually feel for you man, but fuck you're weak
2 hours ago
>>709370204
has anyone felt like they had been raped by a girl after sex
>>709375125
Landwhales
Men don't have to be in Soviet Russia to get raped.
>>709370204
We have 7 days to make Pepe the most popular Halloween costume
This has to happen. Imagine the memetic power of a million people walking the streets in Pepe's form the week before the election.
Ways we can make this happen:
1) Call costume companies and ask if they are making a Pepe costume this year. Sound disappointed if they say no. This will be taken as an indicator of demand.
2) Search Google and Amazon for "Pepe costume", along with a few other Halloween related searches. This will trigger marketing analytics.
3) Go to party/Halloween stores. Ask if they have a Pepe costume. Don't take no for an answer. Sound shocked that they don't have one. Ask the manager for corporates number, call and repeat tactic #1.
Also use social media to promote people to make their own Pepe costumes as well.
We can make this happen. Kek wills it.
Make up tutorial for poor fags.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyI1USKS_o
>>709374956
damn you fucked up dude
>>709375162
30 Seconds Later
Enjoy the ride!
>>709374956
well, at least you got some anon
>>709370204
Sunday. Long distance thing.
>>709371505
w0w got it nailed down to the exact day too hey?
>>709375261
Yup, I went back to my home town and got super drunk while out with this girl I knew from school. We ended up going to a mates place to crash and she guilted me into fucking her. Spoke to her once since and that's it.
I didn't even consider it rape because you know, I did fucked her, even if I was the only one drunk and passed out before I even finished.
>>709374956
Did you log your facebook to the tinder account? And do you really think your wife won't know?
>>709375162
FML
The only girls that ever loved him... can't suck his dick!
>>709374956
Guise she's going to fuck my life up I stuck my dick in crazy
>>709375430
Yeah it's my birthday and the slut dumped me
>>709375462
damn that must have been a weird feeling man, mine wasn't that bad - I had a random panic attack and took a clonazapam and got pretty high, was spaced out and my fuck buddy came over when she was drunk and aggresively rode my dick. It wasn't rape at all but it was kinda weird like the next day i thought about my life and what i was doing with it
>>709372222
Nice quads. Otherwise: meh. I'm 35 and my GF and me average about 1.5 times a day. Been together for 2 years. We'd fuck even more often if time permitted.
>>709372198
>I'm a virgin therefore everyone else is
4chan is as normie as Facebook now. Deal with it.
>>709370204
18months
But I'm craving companionship more than sex
>>709370204
About 35 minutes ago. I'm up smoking a bowl and gettin ready to play some SERIOUSLY FUCKING MODDED Fallout 4
October 4th, 2010.
fuck. well at least in january i'll have enough money to fuck a whore.
>implying I have had
Shiggy diggy doo
>>709375571
holy fuck dude you're actually dead, you're 100% dead, delete your tinder account fucking hell dude
>>709375475
After hearing how she stalks exes and finds people through there numbers I'm basically fucked and I'm trying to figure out an exit strategy or way to break it off she also told me how she has bipolar and other shit and her last bf she tazed so I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life if I can't figure this out
>>709375571
you're fucked. She's gonna tell your wife sooner or later
>>709375571
I actually feel fucking bad for you man like I actually feel your feels
Sunday, and again in 5 minutes when I finish this bowl and head upstairs to my wife. Cheers.
4 days ago.
FWB whose a french stripper. sex is crazy
will get it tomorrow if I can be bothered to see her (crazy as fuk, not worth it after a while
>>709375571
You dun' goofed
>>709375573
Damn, my last girlfriend dumped me on her birthday 2 years ago, had huge plans to take her out and make her feel all special and shit
>>709375719
dude say you're moving country
>>709375719
I can tell you don't lie too often, do you? Did you even go into this with an exit strategy?
>>709375583
Yeah I don't really consider it that bad, I mean I said no because I didn't want to ruin our childhood friendship.
Shit man she fucked you so hard you fell into the void of thought. Nice.
>>709375571
Cancel phone plan, delete tinder account and douse her trailer in gasoline then light the fucker up
>>709370204
2014 with a chick, though I had my dick sucked by a dude earlier this year.
>>709374956
Pussy is pussy. I wouldn't feel bad. Just chalk it up as an experience and go about your life. WHATEVER you do.. DO NOT tell your wife. I don't give a damn HOW guilty you feel, DO NOT tell her. Look at it this way, you didn't nut in that landwhale's pussy, so there is no risk of her being pregnant so she has NOTHING on you. If she tracks you down? Deny everything.
>>709375719
two options, both risky:
Say nothing and hopes she forget about you and find some other anon. CHances are she's really into you and things will escalate to the point where she's hidden in your house with a kitchen knife and your cat's guts are all over the living room
Talk to her. Maybe she will understand it's over and just forget about you. Maybe she'll take the bus directly to your house and burn it down.
>>709375801
Sucks hey. Fucking Bitches.
>>709370204
...
Monday, with FWB. She's not really my type bodywise, as she's pretty chubby. But her face is real gud and she's pretty awesome in bed. Also, random free blowjobs coz 'I wanna make you feel good'
>>709375942
Yea I'm lonely now but I think it's better than going through any of that shit again
>>709370204
last time i had a dick in a girl was at my birth
>>709375162
I've been with a landwhale for 6 years... the few times she does bother to suck my cock.. I'm lucky if I get 30 seconds of it before she demands that I fuck her. So I know how it feels.
>>709375841
yeah thats good dude hahah yeah , like i was spaced out and she was moaning and just riding my dick so hard it was sort of surreal but not bad either. do you remember if you had a good time with your friend?
>>709375801
yeah just dumped my gf on my birthday, she was being fucking so useless, feelsbadman
>>709375939
>Deny everything.
like it would make any difference...
>>709370204
About two weeks ago. I met someone off of POF. She was a fat ugly bitch and it was hard to keep erect. I think I would have been better off just staying home and doing it myself. That's that last time for over a year that I have had sex though. I just wanted some pussy. If only I were not so shy. Like why is it so hard to find someone who will fuck the kind shy guy. They all want the arrogant assholes.
>>709370204
fuck nothing turns me off more than those stupid calvin klein underwear that the thots wear these days. What happened to just wearing a nice red or black thong?
Almost a year ago, not that long ago but in that time I've had multiple chances to change that.
>friend offered to dump her boyfriend for me, refused with the excuse that he could do much more for her than I ever would want to.
>Invited to a cabin full of claimed "easy" bridesmaids. Told the group that I'm gay
>Other friend recently dumps boyfriend and admits she has feelings for me, kind of consider it but 95% of me is saying nahh
I could sleep with multiple people but they would be my first experience since "her" and that's the only experience I want.
>>709374956
>>709374956
hahahaah dumb ass!!
Been there and done that :). Here is a track that always pops up in my head when I or other fuck up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_qMagfZtv8
>>709375571
>>709370204
december or jan. have not had any prospects since. maybe 1, but it got fucked up cuz of a dumb friend. i just dont know what to do anymore. got laid alot in my mid 20s but now that my hairs thinned out in front, its way harder to meet girls (i shaved my head btw)
>>709375719
Tell her it's tinder and you wanted a fuck, let her down because fat people will not get the hint and need it spelled out.
Tell her this was your first straight experience and that you're gay but decided why not. Also that she scarred you away from pussy forever so she can't think there is any hope.
Otherwise change number and move on.
>>709376057
Was her name Kat...? I met a fat landwhale off POF a few years back... She drove to my house and fucked me that very night. She spent the night and left the next day. Never saw her again. She told me her name was "Kat Barrow", but really? She could have been lying. I really don't know.
>>709375713
>>709375738
>>709375743
Yea all accounts are deactivated and I'm disconnecting my number from my Facebook and shit and changing all my privacy shit to nobody and will probably change phone number if I cant find a way to peacefully break it off she's got the wrong idea and I'm royally fucked
-10/10 not worth it
When she asks I'm telling her don't want to be on dating websites anymore and go from there >>709375713
>>709375880
>>709375941
>>709375941
>>709376126
>>709376190
>>709376012
She's really into me, by now at least I get her to deepthroat me a couple of times during those 30 seconds. This week I helped her with some homework for college (fuck it, I made the whole thing) and she's joking about how I will get paid. I'm going to ask for a complete blow job. The problem is that I usually last like 30 minutes before cumming, and I don't think she will stay there for that long
>>709376057
yeah sex isn't really worth it if the girl is fat/ugly. or a hooker that would make you wear a rubber.
Being fat myself that's a problem, so while i may have only had 2 serious relationships and fucked 5 girls, it was all fantastic as they were extremely attractive.
>>709370204
3 weeks
>>709370204
does anyone ever get bored with fuck buddies, shes hot but i just am not feeling it , but then pussy is hard to say no too... but its getting harder to cum
>>709376037
It doesn't matter, dude. Deny up and down, no matter what evidence anyone has. Unless there's a physical photo of him balls deep, he's safe. There's always the wrong number excuse, but if he's smart he'll say nothing but "I have no idea what you're talking about" until it all blows over. If his chick is really that into him, she'll do all the mental gymnastics for him and convince herself it's all in her head. I've been down this road way too many times.
2013
Fuck my life
>>709376249
word, i don't know if ive ever came from a blowjob i used to only come by grabbing my hand and then ramming my dick down her throat as if i was jacking off with her at the end... but i dont know if thats a real bj lol
>>709376230
>kind
I reckon that people wont' believe it bc she's so fucking disgusting dude tbh
>>709374956
>Think of how my mom is fat too
Boner annihilated
Dude I fucking lost holy shit
Also,
Kys you're fucked say goodbye to wife pussy
Enjoy your trailer trash
>>709375571
This is going to get worse before it gets better.
With my wife, 12 years. With my landlord's daughter, 2 weeks.
septemba 2k16, i miss tha pussy
>>709376591
Thanks for the reassurance
>>709376587
Same kek wonder how many boners have been lost in the same fashion
>>709376329
I only came once from a bj, but she was a professional and boy did she know what she was doing. I've cum with handjobs at a massage place many times, but it takes at least 15 minutes after a hell of a erotic masasage and wathing a 10/10 jerking me off, so I don't know how much will it take with my qt and adorable but chubby gf.
And the wost part is that I know she will ruin my orgasm freaking out with all the cum. But we have to start at some point...
>>709376001
last year and half, I have been building a relationship with a transgender m>f. She has expressed an interest to elevating it to a sexual relationship. I might think about it more seriously, at least to see if it is any different.
>>709375571
Out crazy the crazy, tell her you want to do absolutely out there things like fisting or fucking animals, she's gotta have boundaries somewhere. When you find them, exploit them so she feels uncomfortable around you.
>>709376751
how do you find a massage place to do that?
>>709376871
I would pay to see that
>"I-I'm into raping anima..."
>"OHMYGOD, YOU'RE MKAING ME SO HORNY -SHUT UP, MOM- LET'S FUCK ON THAT GOAT'S CORPSE"
>>709370204
yesterday pic related
>>709377035
I'm curious too. Is there some code to watch for to differentiate them from regular massage places?
2004, Lost my virgin to gorgeous hippie with full hairy pussy with giant tits and smelly. It was the best ever. I was 17 and she was 25.
Now i'm 29
I want her back badly
.....................fuck...............
two weeks ago
>it was nice
>pull my dick out
>condom broken.gif
>oh fuck
>she refuses to take plan b pills, doesn't want to go to abort
>I'm fucked
>finally I convince her to take the pills I bought to her
>she takes first one, then refuses to take the second one
>wtf.jpg
>day later she finally takes the second one
>this can't be working anymore
>I'm going to be dad
>googling what's easier, kill her or kill myself
>few days ago she got her period
>I can finally live again
>life is good
>>709377098
Wtf bro, I also fucked this chick yesterday
Hour and a half ago. Morning sex rocks!
>>709376594
12 years without sex? Why don't you divorce her?
>>709376871
>Plan backfires on anon
>Ends up getting pegged on a trampoline in public while being pissed on by a tranny and land whale shitting with his dick in her ass
Oh
And they're all dressed as clowns
Tis the season
>>709376594
damn how old is she xd bruh if you're like 40 and she's 18 I respect that shit
>>709377162
high five mane
>>709370204
About 1 and a half years. Have a mean herpatitis and in my town basically all the girls over 18 have HPV. Fuck my life
>>709370204
I can no longer remember - about eight years ago?
in 3097 with some creep that's really into necrophilia
>>709377035
There is one here at this shitty town that I think might be the best thing that ever existed here. This is a small town and the chicks there could be working anywhere, they are absolutely wonderful and treat you so kindly
It's not cheap at all, but worths every cent
http://www.priveemasajesgranada.com/
>>709370290
Agreed. I last visited my gf in may, and we won't see each other again until new years.
>>709377281
Does he revive the corpses using nanotech or prefer doing it in full immersion VR?
>>709377406
He bones the bones no revival or VR.
5 hours ago.
>>709377493
>3097
>joke
>your head
About 2 nights ago
Also is nobody going to acknowledge how incredible this is?
>>709370331
>>709370665
>>709370777
>>709370886
>>709370204
3 years.
I only have sex with who I'm dating. I'm dating someone now but no sex since shes still lives with her family, works, and is a stem major. Not a lot of down time right now + her family is always fucking there.
As soon as we get time alone, her family is instantly going to know we fucked.
Looking forward to moving in together and fucking nonstop.
A relationship before sex is nice you get to really know some before urging to fuck their brains out.
This Christmas its going to be a white Christmas.
>>709377607
It means I have never had sex and I never will.
>>709370204
half an hour ago.
>>709377678
Spot the christcuck
She's never gonna fuck you, weirdo.
>>709374956
>>709375571
>TFW in open relationship and you will never have to deal with this shit, and me and my girlfriend would probably laugh about it
>>709376871
LISTEN TO THIS I know it's funny but I think it's actually your only hope and it will work
Say the MOST fucked up shit to her without insulting her like you want to die inside her, you want to have 7 kids with her you want to kill yourself in her arms idk w.e u can think of
>>709370268
Are you me?
> Another one of these threads
Goddammit it's been three months now, and I hate it. Fapping is just dissastisfying and boring at this point and I'm sick of it.
>>709377850
"I've always wanted to drink siracha sauce from a vagina"
>>709377758
Fuck Christ and fuck you faggot.
They're annoyingly over protective and not religious. They had to be cool with me dating their only daughter. I'm use to dating girls who's parents didn't really give a shit. Their old school and shits annoying.
few days ago. bae lives across town
>>709370204
Around 2-3 months ago. Girlfriend dumped me.
>>709377393
I last visted my gf in june, and we just broke up. feels shit man, I really loved her but the distance caused too many problems.
>>709377140
never put your dick in her again
>>709378252
How long you been dating her, faggot?
>>709376871
>>709378209
>>709377062
Who's ready for the best part ?!?!
*Drum roll*
She doesn't turn 18 till next month
I'm 19
Could this fuck me over even harder ?
It's been a spicy second. 6 Months maybe. Normally between gf's I'd just get some tinder pussy but tinder won't sign in and I haven't been bothered enough to completely find the solution. I know what its not.
>>709378377
Lol shit dawg.
This is why God invented hands, dummy
>>709378377
Dude this keeps getting better
Now you have to at least fuck her till she turns 18 so she doesn't completely destroy your life
>>709370204
>implying
>>709378377
depends on what state. you could be boned, she could hold it over your head. then again, you could get off legally if she brought charges, but your life would still be way down the shitter.
>>709378377
You're 19 and married?
>>709378377
Yea dubs says you're fucked mate better luck moving out of the country if she's as stalker crazy as you say
She will pull rape card the minute you try to leave her
Better get used to land whale pussy cuz that wife is done
Rip guiltwhale anon
>>709370204
1998
>>709378685
High school sweetheart type shit we've been dating since freshman year
>>709378377
Better just burn the trailer park down depending on what state you might be fucked even more than just losing wife
Or like another anon said fuck her till she's 18 then split
>>709378209
1up for hot sauce pussy
>>709378756
Have fun with your divorce in a few years.
Nobody stays the same from high school to thirty and the chances of you both actually growing up to be similar is none.
>>709378756
dude,,,,, nigga...... why
>>709378756
Just make her uncomfortable. Make up a fake story about how you and some friends go stray cat hunting and bludgeon them to death.
>>709378756
where you bored with your wife? also, what does she mean meet you in real life i thought u fucked her
>>709374475
proof faggot
>>709370204
sunday??? yeah i guess sunday
>>709379092
yes that's a good idea
Paid for sex a month or so ago, before that about a year, was some slut off tinder haha.
>>709377678
Them knowing you fucked is a non-issue. I've fucked a christian chick and her parents lectured her on sex before marriage literally right after. Ended up being my gf for 2 years with sex every other day.
>>709370204
Do blood relatives count?
>>709379250
yes
>>709375016
kek 19yo.... do it now you faggot idiot
>>709379264
2 nights ago, my sister (we are roomies and perverts). Been banging since we were kids.
>>709370204
October 7th.
Girlfriend got the ringworms and a mild yeast infection shortly afterwards so we're abstaining until she's done with that shit
>>709370204
Pffft, do you really think anyone here has ever had meaningful sex?.. probably, with their cousins.
>>709379466
wincest story time?
>>709377651
Oo whats her name?
>>709379466
story time for bed?
an hour ago
>>709370204
10 minutes ago
>>709374956
dun goofed
>>709377651
>>709370204
Is this you and where are you from? She looks mint if its the same chick
Couple of weeks ago. My buddy and I DP'd some chubby chick he's been seeing.
About a month ago? Had a girlfriend, we broke up in the middle of August, bust kept fucking for a month after.
>>709370204
monday morning
>>709379547
>>709379696
Nothing really to tell. We both had the day off and wanted to spend it banging all over our house. It's out of our system for at least another day or two. Our mother keeps accusing us of having an "unnatural relationship" but she never caught us. We loved the day we moved out together and not have to sneak more than drawing the curtans.
my ex and i almost got back together but she started banging her other ex so i'm fucking this fattie instead and it sux
3 months ago, am married.
Shit sucks
>>709370204
2009
>>709380029
pics of her?
>>709370204
Last Monday. Of July 1998.
>>709380210
Neither of us do social media. We don't really need it and we need a certain level of privacy to not be hassled for how we live.
>>709370204
2 nights ago.
Op gtf back here and tell us about calvin girl
>>709374956
Go live with the gf
>>709370204
2 years ago with her
4 years. I cant go back to other girls somehow, mental blockade or sth
30 mins ago. midnight fun with the gf
does jerking off without letting yourself orgasm make the next orgasm you have better and faster? sometimes my girlfriend has trouble getting me off
>>709380952
hold in a piss, works for me. just dont piss in her mouth like a dumbass. i can barely get my self of sometimes. kinda sucks but at least she enjoys it
>>709372549
>1000
Nigga, that is for when YOU are out of town, on like a business trip or something, so you're not fucking girls in the same town, and you better have a burner phone for it.
It does not mean bang chicks in your same fucking area when your wife is visiting dying family.
I hope your story is fucking true. You are too stupid to have a marriage, let alone cheat in one.
Learn from this, you derp.
>>709381106
that sounds like a recipe for disaster
>>709370204
4 days ago whit gf
>>709381266
nah just did it today, its incredibly hard to piss while you have an erection, your body closes that tube when youre getting close to ejaculating
>>709381357
it is still possible so just dont go full autismo
