/b/ WHAT DO I DOOOOO!?!?!?
>be me
>be right now
>be flicking a girl right now
>she lives with some of her family
>bf comes to visit and no one else is home
>literally hiding in her brothers room right now
>dude is massive 6'3" I can hear him yelling sounds like he knows
>dumb bitch never told me she was in a relationship
I'll take any suggestions on how to get out
Navigate my escape for me./b/ros....
>>707457485
Punch him
>>707457628
Fuck that I just wanna get out of here
I don't even want to associate with this broad again
>>707457628
Rolling for this
If you can, just book it to the door while he's screaming. Hopefully he won't hear shit and you'll be outta there
>>707457485
Is going out the window an option?
No windows around ? If so just jump out that bitch and start running , never looking back
>>707457770
Should I do something epic before I go? Leave something like a mark
Like one last big fuck you and bounce?
>>707457485
How are we supposed to know you are not bullshitting
>>707457485
create a diversion fire
>>707457788
Also this. This is probably smarter than going for the door
>inb4 op gets caught and beaten to death by big black nigger bf
>>707457843
If you wanna risk it, jack off and right as youre about to cum, run. Jizz all over the house as you leave.
>>707457843
Take a shit on his car
>>707457788
No that's a big add fall
>>707457843
OP, you gotta piss/vomit/shit on her clothes then get outta there
>>707457911
Dubs decided. Shit on car OP
>>707457843
Yeah take a shit in her brothers room before you, preferably on the carpet where it'll be harder to dispose of.
We need proof. Construct a timestamp out of ripped up piece of clothing and your own blood. Run in and take a pic of this fella with your timestamp in his face.
>>707457911
Down as fuck
>>707457485
this has happened to me before, fuck.
why are there SO many girls who are like "well my boyfriend is a criminal felon in prison, I think im going to try a tiny little feminine trap next"
why do they have to tell me after the fact?
why do they have to tell their boyfriend "i have to tell you, i cheated. here's their facebook"
how do you know he's 6'3"?
sage
>>707457930
The only other option is the door I guess.
Right as you get out of the door, yell "Id get yourself checked if I were you!"
>>707457485
No worries fam I got you
So here's what you do
>put on sunglasses
>Turn hat backwards
>Call friends and tell one to bring camcorder
>Hop out of closet and scream 'it was just a prank, bro!'
>Have group of friends come in laughing with camcorder
>>707457485
start a fire
Call the cops saying there's a huge domestic disoute and it sounds violent. Then when they arrive go out the back.
>>707458185
rolling
>>707458231
Fucking THIS
>>707458120
Cause I caught a glimpse of him through the crack of the door as he passed to her room jack ass
>>707457485
no worries OP
just come and say you work for the FBI
Federal Boob Inspector
and say shes all good to go
>>707457485
>put one of her brothers uunderwear in your pocket
>come out and make it seem like it accidently dropped
>then say you were sniffing them and trying to get to her brother through her
>???
>profit
>>707458372
Judging from the size of your fingers your dick is tiny.
Just scream. Not just any normal aaaaa
Go full on autismo REEEEE scream. Do it all the way down the stairs and out the door. They'll all be so confused and not know what to do that you'll get out fine
>>707457485
post some nudes of your secret gf OP
>>707458263
This is a good idea if you want to get out alive.
Also, order a shitload of pizza.
>>707457485
>>707457485
Dress up in her brothers cloths and say "Goodbye sis" whilst running down to the door
Clogging toilet with random shot from their trash then setting.fire to said trash and shitting on his car fuck it
>>707458969
Now THIS is an OP!
Call the police, tell them he has taken you hostage and has threatened to kill you if you attempt to leave
>>707458969
but what's the ESCAPE route
>>707458969
DO IT OP
Rolling for telling her you have HIV
She'll get his ass out OP
>>707458660
>Judging from the size of your fingers your dick is tiny.
holy shit you are some kind of next level faggot arent you?
>>707459125
or this
>>707458969
Do it pussy
>>707459125
May as well swat him
>>707459175
Fight if Necessary
Will keep my phone.ready at all times so if the off chance that I get a snap of me hitting him/getting killed happens I can post for you /b/ros
>>707458969
the fuck? what he do to you?
the girl is the one who fucked you over
dumb cunt
>>707459260
Start a video and just let it run while you are about to make your escape. That video will be a legend.
Don't be a bitch, your fucking some dudes girl, man up get out of that fucking room, either woop his ass, or get yours wooped. That's the way things go. Fucking deal with it.
Just wait an few hours, and walk out like nothing is happening. he'll be so confused as to your presence he will only stare
>>707459389
How to post to here
>>707459470
Webm faggot
Burn shit u fucking pussy
>>707458969
why are you barefoot?
what a fucking faggot
>>707459527
Yeah I'm also in underwear if you haven't noticed I'm pretty sure that's why he was yelling earlier
I'm not sure if he thinks im here still though
Maybe I have the element of surprise
Either way I'm tired of waiting here in this bathroom showtime.is coming
How do I into webm??
I'm suspecting a dinosaur any moment now
>>707459508
With what lighter you fucking cunts everyone wants me to burn shit
That either involves running to my pants in her room or rummaging around junk drawers, her parents room, the garage or whatever for wherever they keep lighters/matches
>>707457930
That doesn't look that high. 15 feet? Maybe if you're an uncoordinated overweight fuck.
Otherwise if you're a boy scout, take pairs of jeans from Bros room, tie together make jean ladder.
If this isn't fake, it's gold. If you dinosaur please die a horrible death
>>707459883
I sure hope it's not. As for the fire isn't it possible to start one with things normally found in a bathroom? Stick things in a nice outlet or something
>>707459681
You're such a useless piece of shit
>>707459681
http://video.online-convert.com/convert-to-webm
You'll need an audio-less version to do webm. You can always upload to YouTube then link it here if you have important audio too
>>707460040
>stick things in a nice outlet
are you fucking autistic? Would you honestly ever do that yourself? Holy shit you fucking kids nowadays are fucking morons. I miss the old /b/. At least then people around here where fucking creative.
Fuck you Brandon.
Unless there's a window you can get to super quickly and open to get out, you're fucked. If you're fast/quiet sneak to the door while he's distracted because he's yelling at his GF
>>707457485
OP this happened to me too
>Meet 18 y/o qt online
>Says shes single, invites me over to bang
>We're well into it in the living room
>Car pulls up, girl FREAKS out, jumps up and literally drags me to her room
>I stop her mid-hallway to ask WTF is happening and she literally begs me to just get into her room, she'll explain later
>aight.gif I'm already along for the ride lets do this - go into her room
>She pushes me onto her bed and covers me with a giant blanket to hide me, then sits on my face so I can't make noise
>Hear footsteps in house searching around
>Suddenly it's at her door (which is locked)
>Hear soft knocking and a man calling her name questioningly
>She doesn't answer, he knocks again harder
>She answers but pretends like she was just waking up/half asleep
>He asks why the door is locked
>mmm.. oh, I was just sleeping
>You can just hear the sickness in his gut as he responds
>O...oh... ok... I just had a surprise break at work and I wanted to see you for a minute... I.. I have to go back now........ ...... I love you.
>She just says "ok bye"
>He leaves
>It's awkward, but I decide to finish the job. I fuck her from behind while she tells me she loves my cock. I bust a nut all over her ass and then get up and leave.
Never saw her again. I felt like a degenerate for not leaving but I had already fucked her so the damage was done. I just wish I left the guy a note or something.
FIGHT HIM!!!! 2 MAN ENTER 1 MAN LEAVE
>>707460215
I wouldn't do it myself faggot, that's why why I'm telling you to do it. You're the autistic cunt that's doesn't have the balls to get out and confront someone's fwfe to face, grow a pair and die
>>707460467
Face*
>>707460467
That wasn't me you faggot, was just some other anon... decided to just leave a note in the bathroom and dash fuck my pants and shoes
Fire. There is nothing it couldn't solve
It's time to use some ninja skills, have you ever played some infiltration video games? just do the same. If stairs are made of wood, don't walk on the middle but at one side, to avoid noise, be stealthy, quiet, don't go too fast. You have no choice.
>>707460249
Then you woke up and realized you're still a virgin and a faggot
>>707460249
Damn dude... That sucks, to be in both positions. Guilt for doing it/feeling bad because your GF cheated on you. But she didn't tell you she had a boyfriend dude, not your fault
>>707460467
Im not OP you cuck. Nice try. Go stick your boi pussi in a socket, Brandon.
>>707460617
so much potential... fuck this shit
>>707460617
Booooooring! Such a fucking faggot... you're expelled from /b/ for being a sissy candy-ass
you're a fucking idiot. You should hi walk out the front door, if dude gets up in your face just be honest and say the bitch didn't tell you she has a bf, suggest he dump the bitch, good looking out, and be on your way. But also accept the possibility that he's going to kick your ass anyway, take it as a lesson learned, and keep crushing.
>>707458660
Seriously what kind of retarded ass reply is this.
Just go back and shout "Wanna fuck?"
>>707460722
I was much younger at the time, 23, and she was pretty damn hot - that pussy was so tight my dick hurt when I was done. So naturally I figured I'd just get it over with - might as well finish.
I think if that happened to me now I would have told the guy somehow.
She ended up staying with the dude another 3-4 months, only way I know is cuz she reached out to me when they broke up trying to get fucked again. Told her to go fuck herself.
>>707460914
Or just looking at him straight in the eyes and saying something like "I'm not tired yet" or "I'm still erect" while naked with a boner
>>707460805
>>707460834
Alright alright fuck you
Commencing filming just keep this thread alive long enough for me to upload the video cause I'm gonna have to wait til I get home to do it
You fucking bastards... You're lucky I care about the state of /b/ otherwise I would've just did the normie thing and walk out of here
>>707460940
Good dude, she shoulda fucked off from the get go
>>707461007
i love you
>>707461079
Fasten your seatbelts, here comes the dinosaur
>>707461007
why are you spamming every thread with this garbage?
>>707461079
Do a live on facebook and make sure you notify your parents about it so they see it too along with all your family
>>707461079
I've been disappointed before, please don't hurt me like the other /b/ros did...
>>707461079
we'll be here... as always
>>707460940
Confirmed virgin
Get the fuck off /b/ you underaged fagget
Bumping keep thread alive!
OP here. Read the first word of all of my posts.
I hope op doesnt die
>>707458969
Posting in this epic shit
bump
>>707461667
Will be epic if he draws a heart on the wall with his shit or jizzes onto brothers pillow or sticks her toothbrush in his ass.
Keeping shit alive come on guys just post occasionally while maintaining the tab this could make b great again
>>707461644
This really made me feel like a piece of chocolate cake with cream and strawberries.
Bump
Cmon
gun
Nom
Bamp
You can do it otto thatll be our motto
>>707457858
does it really matter
>>707462198
yes
BUMP
>>707462198
Kinda
Bump bump bump
Stayin' alive
>>707457485
Why would she leave you alone at her house ?
OP will surely deliver
OP deliver or die
>>707462844
Unless this dude puts him the hospital
Op?
>>707462913
Yes or that
I bet OP failed to exit...
Yep he's dead for sure
Op can't be kill!
he's still trying to figure out the webm
I wish that too but I've waited too long OP will not deliver
>>707462258
>>707462538
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
R.I.P op
"Was a good run" -OP
>>707460040
>nice outlet
As opposed to a nasty one.
Op bit the dust
>>707463599
R.I.P
OP's final moments.
>>707457485
>man up
>remove clothing
>walk in on gf with pride
>1v1 me
>pretend you think he is side dude
>tells you he's bf
>acted surprised
>apologise
>divert rage to gf
>double team the bitch
>bump fists
>obtain new bro
>>707457485
That'll learn ya to flick someone else's gf!
>>707463599
No, I'm driving home now. Will upload the video when I get back.
>>707463702
Fucking newfag. Read the thread next time. OP is having a 3 way.
>>707463775
You better, and if I do t see a single shit in the video I'll do it myself.
>>707463775
WELL SHIT, THIS THREAD WONT MAKE IT
START A NEW THREAD WITH VID READY, FAGGOT OP
>>707463301
clealry you haven't been here long enough to see some shit go down, kys
>>707463775
Where are you posting?
>>707463866
This
And even if not thrn its an original troll
>>707463919
Just told you I'm in the car. Have to wait till traffic to post. Nothing really happened.
>>707463992
ABORT
FAGGOT OP DINDU SHIT
CONFIRMED BETACUCK
>>707463992
Did you light the toilet on fire or what? What happened op greentext us everything!
>>707464157
OK I'm back. Nothing happened. I walked back to her room to get my clothes and put them on, the guy just looked at me and said 'what the fuck man, what the fuck'. I didn't look at them I walked out and they were arguing.
I chickened out of doing anything. I'm nearly crying.
>>707457485
Okay I know what you can do. You need to get out ASAP. Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.
>>707463992
Fucking faggot I vouched for you to all of these anons! Now my life is worthless...they all think I'm a joke....and it's because of YOU OP you motherfucking selfish prick why why would you do this? Because you want me to become an hero?
>>707464356
Man I bet that shit felt bad. That's when you throw the bitch under the bus and say she said she was single. Cause she did. Fuckin whores man I'm sorry this happened to you op.
>>707464356
This isn't OP...he promised a vid what the FUCK is this shit anon fuck out of here
>>707464356
You are not OP, get out.
>>707463992
>>707463775
>>707464356
Fucking faggot hijacking my thread ruining my credibility I'm back at home fuck you anon
Uploading video right now homies
>>707464946
OP lives!
>>707464946
Can't wait.
>>707464946
Thank God I was so fucking disappointed
>>707464946
Dam maybe op wasn't a faggot today
>>707460834
fuck you for not leaving the filename as VLC error
>>707464946
number 5 lives!
>>707464946
cut your fingernails you dirty spick pleb
>>707464946
Upload quickly. Don't make us wait.
>>707465514
kill yourself beta boy.
>>707464946
Op you man of men.
No video?
>>707464946
Didnt notice your hat before, where you from? I havent seen any tico posters in my life (except for myself)
Get naked start running to the door screaming random bullshit and keep doing that down the street
I hope he beats your spick ass
waiting
Bump
bump
I'm waiting
so?
Anything?!
Bump
still bumpin
Hurry up op
Okay you faggots here it is
OP delivers
https://youtu.be/WxZov_m9vVU
Btw not a spic... I'm Italian you fucking cunts... don't ever reduce me to beanfilth
>>707468097
y tho. Think of how much money you would spend on bread having to replace it all probably twice a day or more depending on how often you use your stairs.
>>707468125
Worth it.
>>707468125
OP is a faggot.
Nice troll nigger.
>>707468125
You fucking faggot
>>707468125
Fucking die op
Die.
>>707468125
dirty nails nigga.
Just an hero. Its the only way
>>707468235
>>707468267
>>707468273
I mean at least I'm trying to keep it original and fresh around this fucking place... come back after 2 years last week and all it is is get threads tripsnnames my faggot pet, waifu rolling and cut in your own mouth threads
The most exciting thing I've seen is a fucking civ thread
No more
I'm back and I promise real delivery from here on out... until then I will be lurk in in the shadows
Now I'm off to brainstorm on new.exciting original content
>>707468125
Op whats wrong with your face?
>>707468267
>>707468273
>>707468287
>>707468400
>>707468406
You know this was worth it.
>>707468125
put off going to work for this.
>worth it
>>707468125
Oldfag here (2005ish) and i appreciate the outcome and had a hearty chuckle
Cheers my italian nigger
>>707468503
If that is true, you are /b/'s true soul.
What may or may not be worth mentioning on your résumé.
>>707469227
>>707469225
>>707469191
>>707468647
Thanks guys glad you enjoyed it
Also rich inheritance fag here so I have all day everyday to think up lulzy shit
>ItalianNiggerFag signing out
>>707457485
Just tell him the truth, stop hiding grow some ball and tell him his g/f is a cheating bitch. It's what a bro would do
>>707469713
>Inherits wealth, makes /b/ better.
The last altruist deed I would have thought of, but it's still nice.
>>707468125
>beanfilth
A greasyball's a grease ball, fucking spic
>>707468125
>beanfilth detected
>>707470322
>>707470349
>op makes a thread that isnt about traps and fur
>gets shit on for decent entertainment
why?
>>707458144
Rolling for this
>>707468503
You bring me new hope op.
>>707470838
a little late to the party pal
>>707457485
you really need to do a 360 and turn your life around