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ITT WE MAKE UP NEW SEXUAL POSITIONS/SCENARIOS AND OTHER ANONS

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Thread images: 28
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ITT WE MAKE UP NEW SEXUAL POSITIONS/SCENARIOS AND OTHER ANONS NAME THEM.
>>
When a girl uses an icicle as a dildo and it gets really sharp and then she puts it in your pee hole.
>>
When you masturbate so many times your dick gets raw and then you put hot sauce on it

Name it.
>>
>>707387961
titanic
>>
>>707388213

Peppermint Patty
>>
>>707388213
kfc nashville hot chicken
>>
I once had a girl give me 3/4 of a handjob. What would you call that?
>>
>>707388689

Mounds. It's like almond joy without the nut.
>>
when a guy fucks a girl while wearing a jetpack and they fly around having sex in the sky

personally i like the name thunderfuck or thunderballsdeep
>>
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>>707388793

Or just blue balls...
>>
>>707388689

fucking depressing
>>
>>707388213
the spicy sausage
>>
>>707388689
ripped off
>>
>>707388213
Abused Mexican
>>
>>707388927
Either the Iron Man or the Hawkeye
>>
>>707388689
Clocking out early
>>
>>707388213
Flaming erector set.
>>
>>707388927

Low Altitude Flyfuck
>>
>>707389553

kek
>>
>>707388927
Sonic boof.
>>
>>707387797
The strawberry twinkie:

Woman on period, 10 men run a train on her ending in all creampies.

11th man eats the blood infused cum.
>>
>>707387797

When yo girl dress up like slave leah and she chokes you with her chain while you jerk it
>>
When a girl and a guy have fuck on a plane thats about to crash and they parachute out just in time and they keep fucking while they watch the plane crash and see the pilot crawl out of the wreckage on fire and they just keep fucking while watching then when they reach the ground the guy fucks the pilots ass
>>
>>707390071
>have fuck
>>
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>>707389892

Autoerotic E-jabba-lation
>>
>>707390071
did you just describe 9/11?
>>
>>707390071

The Sullen Sully Sullenberger
>>
>>707389892
thats just kinda sounds like rape.
>>
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>>707387797
Pouring bleach in her asshole and using ammonia as lubricant as you buttfuck her.
>>
>>707389892
Episode VI - Return of the Perverts
>>
>>707390496
The ol' spicy keychain
>>
>>707389875
>10 men
>11th man
>Implying she gives birth and makes new born eat blood infused cum
>>
>>707390496
Gas her Ass
>>
>>707390496
The Tide Pod Challenge
>>
>>707390071
Mile high descending yolo with an apocalypse ow.
>>
>>707390496
Ghost pepper shlepper.
>>
>>707390822
>my sides
>also dubs
Winrar
>>
When you put Twizzlers in her ass and then begin to eat her out
>>
When you pour coca cola into her butthole and drop some mentos in there
>>
>>707390071
the fire rises
>>
>>707391691
The rectum eruption
>>
>>707391691
science fair
>>
>im fucking a 200 pound beast
>Were in the middle of a room
>Her legs wrapped around my waist
>Me holding her entire weight in my hands
>While a rope is wrapped around her neck
>>
>>707387797
copulation in the missionary position for sole purpose of reproduction
>>
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>>707391947
Gulliver's Travels
>>
Making a girl spin on a washing machine until she gets dizzy and then pouring boiling detergent into her pussy, fucking her sideways, then cumming a spunktergent mixture all over her teats. Afterwards, snort powdered Oxi-Clean and eat out her detergent-creamed pussy, blowing out the powder into her cunt, and using your dick as an eggbeater to make a tantalizing smoothie of squeaky-clean semen supreme. Then drink it.
>>
when a guy digs a hole in the ground and throws a girl in there. the guy proceeds to jump down to and they cover themselves in worms and stuff from the ground and eat the worms off each other while eating the dirt around them.
variations include someone sprinkling them with more dirt from above or having water poured over them or both together
>>
>>707392272
Kitchen Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-7NDP8V-6A
>>
>>707391691
mento madness
fountain of fury
>>
Rigging a pulley with a noose around a girl's neck that you have the other end of the rope in your hand, and she's riding you, and you hold the rope at exactly the right tightness so that every time she plops down on your dick, she chokes herself. The closer she gets to cumming, the tighter you hold the rope.
>>
>>707387797
Mine is called the double decker deluxe.
I sit up on the upper toilet tank and give an upper decker.
She sits in the Lower regular seat and sucks me off while also shitting in the toilet.
Before we start I break the chain inside the upper toilet tank so no easy repair.
Double decker deluxe.
If you're still not impressed we could present the toilet tank lid with a sushi style poo poo platter or spray cum on the handle or something.
>>
>>707392272
washing machine wipeout
>>
When you stuff her vagina full of ham then pour some syrup in there to make it resemble a meaty vagina with cum dripping out. You proceed to eat the ham out of the vagina while eating her out
>>
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>>707390663
>>
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>>707393037

a maple porker
>>
You have your girlfriend act like your sister in public and make sure to give people that impression, then make out with her to mess with everyone.
>>
>>707393274
Japan Sweetheart
>>
>>707393274
The Country Bumpkin
>>
>>707392687
How does this get no responses? You guys are jerks. I didn't just make this up for this thread either, this is a legit fantasy of mine.
>>
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>>707393274
"the redneck ruse"
>>
>>707392234
Underrated post.
>>
>>707390663
Did I say only 10 men are there? Do you not comprehend English?

Fuck.
>>
>>707392687
The simple machine
>>
>>707387797
Define It:
Mustache Hunt
>>
"the ching chong ding dong"
>>
>>707393572
>"the redneck ruse"
you pretend to be your father
start having sex with your sister
just before you cum, let her know your her brother
hold on, enjoy the ride
>>
>>707393678
rich people hunt down gays with mustaches and fuck them
>>
Your girl fucks herself with a GI Joe while you masturbate in the corner and she tells you how much smaller he is than you and that you'll never be small enough to satisfy her.
>>
>>707393678
a form of extreme anal fisting where you try to grab someone's upper lip by sticking your arm up their ass
>>
>>707393678
There's five people in a line against the wall, all with mustaches shaved into their pubes. 4 are guys, and one is a girl. You get blindfolded, they all switch locations, and you have to play pin the tail on the donkey with your mouth
>>
>>707392672
kek
>>
>>707394032
This is funny, wish I could think of a funny name
>>
>>707391691
MGS: the fountain pain
>>
Define:
The ol' rubadubdub
>>
when her vag is so loose you literally fall in
>>
>>707394579
Your girlfriend/wife is taking a bath, and you barge in wearing a rubber ducky suit and fuck her
>>
When you have a quadruple amputee as an adult baby
>>
>>707394644
caution: sinkholes
the vaginal void
the pink black hole
>>
>>707394803
The kill me now
>>
>>707394803
1 Piece McNugget
>>
>>707394803
failed abortion
>>
Define:
The Cum Conundrum
>>
>>707395234
When you're horny as fuck and really want to fap, but also have to shit real bad.
>>
>>707395234
When she'll let you shoot off in her pussy, but only if you solve the really hard word problem written on her stomach. Show your work.
>>
>>707395234
Gather together several dozen men who haven't nutted in a long time. One lady sucks them off one at a time, see how many dicks she can suck without swallowing, just keeping it in her mouth.
>>
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>>707391691
>>
>>707394644
The footprint of the nigger.

Life of the chink.

The glory of the gook.

Ping pong's poon pound.

The Slanteye slam jam.

The stinky winky spunky spelunky.
>>
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>>707395057

kekekekeke
>>
>>707395427
Literary work-load
>>
>>707395390
that's already called a blumpkin
>>
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>>707394684
Ernie's Delight
>>
>>707395805
No you shit lord, a blumpkin is when a girl sucks your dick while you're shitting
>>
>>707395427
The Good Will Cunting
>>
>>707395234
When you run a train on a girl, get her pregnant, and wait 9 months to see who's the father.
>>
>>707395654
Freshman year
>>
when you are at an orgy, get blindfolded, one of the other people sticks either their dick or a realistic dong up your ass, and you have to guess which one it is
>>
>>707395937
Eric Cartman's mom
>>
>>707395824
perfect
>>
Define:
The lion, the witch and the big fucking dick
>>
>>707395654
>lady

She has to be a royal
>>
>>707395979
Dick or Treat
>>
Sharpie in the pooper
>>
>>707395937
The Niggy piggy poke.

The tax payers burden.

Not my problem.
>>
When your wife decides to eat the placenta and has you cum on it before she eats it
>>
>>707387797

the honeybee

break ur dick off in the asshole of the invader and run off to die for the good of the hive
>>
>>707387797
Hi, 4chan well and waht now(?
>>
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>>707395979
>>
>>707396128
When your girlfriend is babysitting and you come over and you tell the kid to wait while you and her go to Narnia.

You both go into the closet and fuck and use codified dirty talk.

"Give it to me Aslan! The White Witch needs your heroism!"
>>
>>707396435
The WHAT THE FUCK BITCH
>>
Your Stand violently rapes you.
>>
when you're secretly dating closely related women, convince them to have a threesome, blindfold them, have them start making out, and wait to see how long before they recognize their relative
>>
You fuck her from behind while she wears an oculus rift and watches reruns of post Andy Richter, pre-Tonight Show Conan O'Brien.
>>
>>707392007
the dirty samuel
>>
>>707396962
The Richter Mortis
>>
>>707396879
Close relaHIVs
>>
Define:
One man and his bouncy castle
>>
>>707393999
checked
>>
When you're raping a woman and your wife is standing outside the door waiting to threaten that woman for coming forward
>>
>>707390496
Jewish butt fuck
>>
>>707392687
And here we have someone who doesn't understand how a noose works.
>>
>>707397287
The Clinton!
>>
>>707397210
Jumping jack cocks
>>
>>707397287
The Bill Clinton
>>
When you meet your friend's dad for the first time and realize he's the guy from the gloryhole who sucks dick like a champ
>>
>>707390071
The big guy
>>
>>707397439
The "I recognize that gay blowjob".
>>
>>707397210
That's when you decide to treat yourself and buy a personal aid like a fleshlight or something but it turns out to be kind of expensive and you have to sign a safety waiver and when you finally use it it isn't as fun as you thought it would be when you were a kid.
>>
>>707390651

DAMN IT! Somebody beat me to it.
Although I think you nailed it with this one, so gg.
>>
>>707397540
The classic Mississippi bitch twister
>>
>>707397439
The Price is Right
>>
>>707391691

Volcanal
>>
>>707392007

Going too far.
>>
When you finish in her ear canal.
>>
Define:
The Bunker Buster
>>
>>707397210
you have sex on a trampoline and the woman lays on her back with all 4 limbs pointing straight up

a guy is suspended from the ceiling by a bungee cord while he fucks a woman who is holding all her limbs straight up

you close yourself in a small concrete room with a small hole in one wall, a baseball or tennis ball launcher is set up to shoot handballs through the hole, you try to masturbate to completion before being knocked unconscious
>>
>>707392272
The Aristocrats, Act I

>>707392375
The Aristocrats, Act II

>>707392687
The Aristocrats, Act III
>>
When you toss dog treats that you keep buy your bed to your dog who walked into your unlocked room to watch you fuck some girl from behind
>>
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Can I bum a fag, Gov'?
>>
>>707393274

All in the Family
>>
>>707397287
the Correct the Record
>>
>>707393274
the reverse leia
>>
>>707394032

Gnidlokcuc
>>
>>707397567
I've got no clue why that's what it made me think of, but I'm glad I wasn't the only one
>>
>>707389892
jABBA THE NUT
>>
>>707395057

Literally LOL'd while diarrhea'ing.
>>
>>707393274
The Alabama shake up
>>
Define: Welcome To Hell
>>
>>707398545
soak a bed in gasoline, set it on fire, fuck in it, you can't get out of the bed or put the fire out until you have cum
>>
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>>707388213
Hot Rodding
>>
>>707397783

Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. I have an ear infucktion. Nevermind, I'll finger it out later.

(RIP Chris Hooper)
>>
Define:
The Grand Gesture
>>
>>707397849

When you come so hard the condom shoots off.
>>
>>707395979
ass up 7 cocks
>>
>>707387797
when you cum in your hand and sling it at another anons asshole - the "hagis"

when the other anon farts it back at you and splaters your stomach - the "reverse hagis"
>>
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>>707398545
Walking your room and Hillary Clinton is naked on your bed with her legs spread wide open
>>
>>707398992
Bottle Cocket
>>
I call this one "The Nickel Game" but I feel it can benefit from a better name

>girl stands in from of a counter-top or some similar surface with her hands palm-down on the surface
>put a nickel on the back of each of her hands
>you can only touch her from the waist down
>you win if the nickels get knocked off her hands before you cum
>she wins if she keeps them on until after you cum

>>707398886
>Hot Rodding
sticking a plugged in and turned on curling iron up your ass while you fap
>>
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>>707387797
Reverse 69 position and both of you just shit on each other's faces
>>
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>>707398938
Quietly masturbating alone in your room
>>
Define the following:

Bricking

Plating

Piles

The Slinky Reversal
>>
>>707399179
kek
>>
>>707398938
Whenever you fondle her during a chivalrous act.

>You open the car door and lead her in by her tit.
>You receive the check and place the pen between her tits when done signing the receipt
>You let her walk in the store first and grab her ass on the way
>>
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>>707399243
No faggot

Hot ridding was my name for somebody else's position

KYS
>>
>>707399149

Pretend I'm Trump.
>>
>>707399293
A Thursday afternoon
>>
>>707398938
Gonna suck but: When you edit in a wedding proposal into the porn you and your girlfriend are pleasuring yourselves to
>>
>>707399474
kek. love it.
>>
>>707399243
Balance the nickel while I tickle my pickle
>>
>>707399474

Makes me think of my random "seatbelt checks".
>>
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>>707399480
the autism is strong in this one

also
thanks for giving me an excuse to post this pic
it has been a while
>>
>>707387961
Winters Bone
>>
>>707399243
"look papa, there's one of those gap toothed niggers green texting and choking on KFC!"

"don't worry son, so much cum has been pumped into his ass that he's surely dying of aids. "
>>
Define:
Winter Is Coming
>>
When you lure a ten year old girl out of her house, rape her repeatedly in the woods, then stuff her body down a well in Prince George county and then it got covered and it's been 15 years and still nobody knows where she is and I'm still a free man.
What do you call that?
>>
This thread is fucking gold, someone please screencap.

When you cover yourself in flour and have surprise sex.
>>
>>707400051
The Clementine
>>
>>707391691
Volcanus
>>
>>707395937
Black Lives Matter
>>
>>707387797
The limp salmon
>Girl is in a life jacket floating in a pool,
>you have sex with her while floating
>then you stab her in the gut until she goes limp
>keep fucking until she goes belly up
>>
You hang your wang in a baskets of baguettes at the local bakery in hopes of being tugged off by milf shoppers.
>>
>>707400163

Better than volcanal, anon. I concede defeat.
>>
>>707400062
The Powdered Pouncer
>>
>>707400280

"Let the buyer beware"
>>
>>707399329
Bricking:
>You cover her entire body in a layer of cum and then pass out on top of her

Plating:
>You garnish the load you left on her lower back

Piles:
>You bang her from behind while her head is in the laundry basket

The Slinky Reversal:
>You start fucking her while she's walking up the stairs, keep thrusting till she reaches the top, both literally and metaphorically.
>>
>>707396580
Jojo's bizarre misadventure
>>
Define bricking
>>
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>>707400295
>>
>>707392815
Kek
>>
>>707400450
Nevermind
>>
>>707400373

Thank you anon. The wife and I have been waiting over ten years for the answers to the first two.
The second two I just made up.
Words cannot express my gratitude.
>>
>>707400373
Bricking - you try to jailbreak your iphone as you fuck but you mess it up
>>
>>707399905
>bust a load on a paper plate as often as you can, and put them in the freezer
>once you've accumulated at least 100 frozen loads, wait till your girlfriend is asleep and take the loads off of the plates, and place them all over the room.
>when she wakes up, she finds fresh, wet loads all over the floor, too many to have been done by a single man.

Winter isn't the only thing that was coming.
>>
>>707400138
:^)
>>
>>707400648
happy to help
>>
>>707388793
I think this post is underrated
>>
Define these named after newspaper comics:

Get Fuzzy

Dennis the Menace

Marmaduke

Gasoline Alley

Slylock Fox
>>
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>>707394032

D.L. Doe
>>
The Chicken Tendy
>>
>>707396128
it is halloween and the kids treat is your BBC
>>
I see so much same fagging here, 3/10
>>
>>707396435
the dna strawberry smoothie
>>
>>707394032
Reverse Cuckgirl
>>
>>707402028
>I see so much same fagging here, 3/10
you tell your girl that you'll participate in a mmf threesome, but you pick the guy and she has to be blindfolded the entire time, you then try to convince her that you are two guys fucking her at the same time
>>
>>707399905
when you fuck a dolphin
>>
>>707402028

No John. You are the samefag.
>>
>>707400051
15 years in heaven
>>
>>707388793
I fucking loled
>>
Define:

Petticoat Junction
>>
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>>707402501
>>
you cover your testicles in peanut butter, take a hand full of ruffies, and let the dog into the room
>>
>>707402501
Doublemint Cum
>>
>>707403896
When you bang a girl wearing a frilly skirt and your cum adheres it to her ass
>>
>>707403896
Putting 15 condoms on and jacking off
>>
>>707404381
The Never-ending Fap
bonus points for shouting out "Moonchild!" during ejaculation
>>
>>707404059
The "I wish I could see their faces when they find me"
>>
>>707401578
>Get Fuzzy
You shave your pubes, glue them to your face, and eat her out
>Dennis the Menace
While fucking a woman doggy style, load a butt plug into a sling shot and try to shoot it into her asshole
>Gasoline Alley
Pour gasoline through a funnel into her ass, then fuck her doggy style while the gas leaks out
>Slylock Fox
This requires several women. You are blindfolded. One woman at a time gets on your dick (mouth, pussy, ass, hand, or tits) and you have to guess who it is. Bonus points if you have a picture drawn by an 8 year old
>>
The Designated Shitting Street.

The Crimean Invasion

The Social Justice Warrior.
>>
>>707405108
>The Social Justice Warrior
Fuck a girl, then claim she raped you.
>>
>>707405108
>The Social Justice Warrior
after having sex with a girl you apologize for raping her, then offer to testify against yourself
>>
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>>707405437
>>
>>707404264
Elmer's Glue
>>
>>707405108
>The Social Justice Warrior
Orgasm denial because you're cis white scum
>>
>>707388213
Tobasco fiasco
>>
>>707393274
The wincest
>>
>>707394579
Fucking her in the shower bent over while she has shampoo still in her hair.
>>
A dozen dudes make an anal chain
>>
>>707408353
The iPhone Release Party
>>
page 9 bump
Really like this thread
>>
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i call this the hangjob, you hang yourself while a dwarf nigger sucks your dick while another nigger watches from outside the window
>>
The "Rusty Gumball"

It's when she wraps her asshole around your balls.
>>
You cum into her eye balls to make sure she cant cheat during a kinky game of Marco Polo in a pool filled with watermelon flavored lube.
Name it.
>>
>>707411111
Nice pents.
>>
Assisted suicide and corpse fucking
>>
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>>707411228
>pents
>>
>>707411607
newfag gtfo
>>
>>707411676
>>
>>707411228
You mean quints
>>
When you came but she still sucking
>>
>>707396580
The work of the enemy.
>>
>>707412685
The Final Boss.
>>
>>707390496
the janitor
>>
>>707388689
tempo di valse
>>
>>707388689
nice guys fini
>>
>>707412685
the meaning of wife
>>
>>707406281
kek. I think this one wins it
>>
>>707395937
wheel of misfortune
>>
Right before you cum, you use a syringe to inject poop up your dick hole and blow the load and poop out onto someone's face....

Name it
>>
>>707390496
Yperite Surprise
>>
>>707388213
Deep Fried Chode
>>
>>707389892
>>707389892
fuck off stan.
>>
>>707415232
Chocolate Drizzle
>>
>>707388689
quick quarter quickie x3
>>
>>707388967
Cum ballon
>>
What do you call it when you Cum in a Goat's ass?
>>
>>707415814
The muslim special.
>>
>>707415232
Exploding Dickarrea

or Exploding Cummarrea
>>
When you ride a dog cowgirl while a pig fucks you from behind.
>>
>>707408353

The Human Fagtapede
>>
>>707400280
the baker's dozen
>>
>>707404059

Your dad in 1978.
>>
A spitroast between a Jew and a Muslim
>>
>>707416043
Mike Huckabee, on the farm.
>>
Cumming in a girls/guys food or drink and let them eat/drink it without them knowing.
>>
>>707416667
Special Sauce
>>
Fucking someone in the butt while they're wearing a diaper by cutting a hole in the diaper. Especially if the diaper is wet.
>>
>>707387797
Drinking vodka out of a pussy
>>
>>707411111
Darko Polo
Thread replies: 267
Thread images: 28


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