What is the strangest shit that you do?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What is the strangest shit that you do?
>>703917981
Pretend im a black man unironically
>>703917981
Wipe my ass standing
>>703917981
Come back to this place despite it being 100% unfunny cancer in a veiled hope that I might find a nugget of something interesting despite that never happening.
>>703917981
I jack off to totally spies almost daily for the last 10 years. Cant get off to much else
>>703917981
OP thats OC found nothing of it online. post more of those pretty beautiful tits I WANT MORE OP MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>703918128
Amen brother.
I look at naked women and play with my penis.
>>703918380
what? tell me more?
>>703917981
more titties
>>703918098
same
I jiggle my balls before I sit to take a dump. Feels good man.
>>703917981
Let gf beat the shit out of me 'cause I get off on it.
>>703917981
Fuck my gf from the side while she sleeps. Sometimes I watch asmr videos on my phone during.
>>703918380
Fucking bump. You need to explain what turns you on about it atleast.
>>703919223
holy fuck this. welcome my brother in arms.
>>703919335
>
I'm intrigued, are your orgams more intense?
>>703917981
Drink cough syrup daily to intoxication to combat my premature ejaculation problem.
Pro-tip: it works super well and my girlfriend is supremely satisfied.
>>703919468
Nah, I just get to bust a nut without having to worry about getting her off. Also I don't really love her so I don't want to be intimate with her. This way I still get some pussy. It's like I'm fucking someone else.
>>703919361
>>703919021
What do you want to know? They get my dick hard and their artwork and voices are fucking perfect. I'm holding out for VR porn of them
https://youtu.be/wZRFaA-Mk_s?t=5m
>mfw I just recently made a looping mp3 of this gasp.
>>703917981
Jerking off with my hands tied behind my back
>>703919849
What if she gets preggo?
>>703919989
Which one is your favourite? I was obsessed with Sam when I was a kid. Never could shake the fetish for red hair or green eyes.
>>703920193
She did, that's why I can't leave her.
>>703920119
Umm what??
got constapated, tried to pull the shit out ended up breaking only the tip
>>703918064
Pretend im not a black man ironically
bump
>>703917981
Browse /b/
>>703918098
ditto
>>703920482
So what if she gets preggo again?
>>703920360
Sam is also my favorite,always has been.
>>703921257
Not likely since she's got a Intrauterine device now, but if it happens I'll probably fake my own death or something.
>>703919335
You're dick must be tiny and she must be a roastie, if this if true,which i doubt.
>>703921365
>my nigga
>>703921438
Like I said, she's had a kid so it's pretty loose. Also she's a really deep sleeper. As long as I'm gentle she rarely wakes up. If I play with her boobs enough she gets turned on and I can even get her to suck my dick. She's not very good at it when she's asleep though.
I keep my pants on when I sit down to take a shit.
>>703920482
ancestry.com - if you have a nigger relative then you can bail
>>703917981
I turn on music and run around my house while thinking about whatever.
>>703921746
No need to check. My dad is a nigger and left my mom to raise me by herself.
>>703920119
Hail, master Kintaro
I write gay friend fiction. Thanks /b/ for gradually corrupting me with trap threads
>>703918098
I have so much ass hair I have to sometimes
sometimes I need a pressure washer
>>703922092
then it's in your blood, you must go
>>703918098
fellow standfag here.
secret shame. I once told a group of friends I stood up and they all laughed at me
>>703922451
Oh it's in my blood for sure. I'm still trying to fight my inner nig though.
>>703917981
Take a shower and wash my asshole after I take a shit. If I take a shit away from home, I make sure theres paper towels, soap, and a working sink so I can at least clean my butthole. Some may find that strange but no fucks given because at least I'm clean and thats all that matters to me.
>>703922619
>>703918098
I wipe standing as well, after I check my ass in the mirror to see if there's a piece of shit there. If so, then I'll open/close my ass in motion, hoping it falls on the floor so I can pick it up and clean the floor. If there's not a piece of shit there, then I'll procced to wipe.
>>703917981
I have this weird "carpe diem" feeling with the most mundane things. I feel like I need to do things a certain way or else im not doing them right and/or loosing a chance to do them that way
Like I was playing this game (fuck you it was decent) and I thought how fitting it would be to play it when it rained to get a nice atmosphere. Thats it, there was no grey area, I wouldnt play the game unless it was raining outside and it took me months to play just because I got it in my head to do that and it felt wrong to do anything else.
Or Other times I'll be watching a movie, playing a game, reading a book and I want it to be special becuase its the only time im ever going to finish it for the first time so I make a day of it to make it feel important I dont even know what to call it is what I do. I just really really like planning them so I call it stubborn autism
>>703922813
So much this. I've lately been trying to bring my friends around to this way of thinking. I mean, say you're walking down the street. You trip and manage to break your fall, but your hand lands in dogshit. What do you do?
>wash hands
>rub the shit with a piece of paper and smear it out untill you can't see it anymore
>>703922813
Damn. I feel you bro. Same here. I can't simply take a shit and walk away. If I'm not able to take a shower after I take a shit, that's a huge problem. That's why I only poop at home.
>>703922957
>>703922813
>>703922411
>>703919217
>>703918380
>>703918128
I love this thread. I have never felt so normal.
Sometimes i hold the tip of my foreskin and inflate it with my piss, it's just so damn satisfying
>>703923723
This, but only in the shower.
I spent hours on 4chan, re-reading the same threads and complain about the same problems but I never make any effort to fix them
[spoiler]you guys are the closest thing to friends I have right now[spoiler]
>>703924032
[zalgo]we'll always love you[/zalgo]
>>703923723
>>703924032
(SPOILER ALERT) you will an hero
>>703918098
I didn't realise this wasn't the normal thing to do?
>>703924032
Pop my dopamine reuptake inhibitor, go for a 15 mile run.
>Feelsgoodman
>>703922957
I do this too, maybe not to such an extreme extent but I like to set up shop when watching a good movie or reading a good book
atmosphere makes it all the more comfy
>>703924641
I thought I was alone doing this. I take some pain pills for my back and go for a bike ride,I do recommend it
The feeling of cool air blowing around you as you cruise is awsome, plus its better then just getting doped up and sitting at home
>>703918098
Why not just step in the shower real quick? In my experience puny toilet paper doesn't do shit.
>>703917981
lurking /b/
nothing
>go to school
>go to work
>look forward to coming home and shitposting on /b/ and fapping
Worst of all I sort of enjoy it
>>703917981
beat my dick to women who are over the age of 40.
>>703925614
I'm not joking.
>>703925640
At all.
>>703917981
Post my dick on the internet
>>703925614
That's not weird at all, I fapped to a horse once
>>703925672
If you have a daughter and you're worried about her being around me, then never fear because young women irritate me. All women do really, but older women don't have the same undeserved sense of entitlement that young women do.
They expect less and for that reason, you will never have to worry about your daughter around me. But if you're wife's good lookin and she has a tendency to stray from you then I'll tap dat ass raw and treat her like a queen for a night with a smile as fake as the name I gave her before knocking her up.
>>703924032
we're your friends, m8
also check my dubs for you
>>703917981
solo anal play
i can take a 12" double ender all the way in
and just worked up to a 9" girth plug
feels good man
My volume level on anything always has to be an odd number, preferably ending in a 7
When i cough and that goey things gets off my throat to my mouth, i take it to fingers and rub it until it dries and makes a goey little ball.
I know that it is disgusting. I can't stop. I am addicted.
>>703917981
- eat my bugers
- smell my farts
- piss over my hands occasionally
- check if all the doors are closed in my apartment regularly
- put a tenga on my erect dick and walk around town
- jerk of on the bus, with the tenga, inside my backpack
- take creep shots, and also openly take shots
- finger my ass while showering
- eat my popped pimpels
- eat my dead skin
- don't shower for 5 days then go to a prostitute and force close physical contact
- fingers my ass then shake hands with people
- fill a syringe with my sperm and shoot at unsuspecting women
- yell "whore" and shit like that to women on the street (at night), or "i want to throatfuck your face", whatever
- flip of random people
- steal underwear from the washing room in my building
- jerk it when on the phone with my mother
- grope shy girls who I suspect won't tell
- use a spoon to get rid of the stuff on my tongue (clean)
- call rando people (female) from the phone book and jerk it while trying to pick up conversation
- while having consensual sex derail to whole thing into psychotic madness trying to get her to break (revealing intense deep shit from my past, letting it all out how nobody fucked me for years, etc.)
- writing poems and stories about rape, necrofilia, etc
I enjoy the musky scent of my ballsack after a day or two of not showering, especially after the gym.
Everytime I walk by a mirror I do a stupid face or a wide grin.
I pick my nose a lot. I also pull out individual nosehairs with my fingernails.
I massage my nipples before and during masturbation.
When masturbating, I always browse through my folder for a good picture to cum to, if I cum to a bad picture it's not as good.
>>703917981
>feel guilty and 'dirty' after masturbating
>have to shower twice to get rid of the feeling or it'll drive me crazy (twice meaning over two days)
Pretty sure it's an OCD thing but I can't convince myself that what I'm doing isn't wrong
l put hair ties on my dick when mastubating as cockrings
>>703927526
Most of that is pretty normie, normie
>>703928470
I do your 1, 2, and 5
>>703929180
gotta keep a clean profile for the real shit when its goin down ya feel me brotha
>>703918098
Same, I thought this was a pretty normal thing to do. Like how do people thoroughly clean their ass if they are standing and checking the paper?
>>703919525
10/10
>>703922957
I do something similar. If it is raining I must play an open world game with weather effects. Usually have a mod or cheat to allow rain all the time. I'll also turn on my desk fan to get the wind sensation.
>>703918098
how do you live without washing your ass after every shit
>>703917981
>when showering I talk to myself in my head as if interviewed by someone, surprise how well worded and interesting my responses are. Act like an autist irl
>every time I get to go shopping I prepare what I'm gonna say at the counter, then when it comes to it I forget it or I'm misheard and have to repeat myself
>whenever taking a shit, I need to wipe until there is absolutely nothing on the toilet paper, usually stay in bathroom for 15-30 mins, depending on how heavy the load was and how the battlefields looking
>My favorite movies/shows are the ones with characters I can relate to on a specific level that I know most people won't understand
>everything I do has a specific way of being done, for example, when I shower I always clean specific areas first and work my way down. Nothing is ever different, everything is a routine otherwise I feel like I've done it wrong or forgot to do a certain part of it
I hold my breath around people I think are annoying because I don't want to breath the same air as them. I mostly do this if I'm in an enclosed space, like on a bus
brush my teeth in the shower
>>703931874
>>whenever taking a shit, I need to wipe until there is absolutely nothing on the toilet paper
That's not weird. That is what everyone should be doing
>>703929128
>>703929128
Brutha
>>703919989
holy shit i can't watch this shit.
but i'm so.....totally watching it >_>
fuck.
>>703920119
HANDS FREE FAPPING?!?!?!?!?
>>703932463
should've specified my technique
>shove finger up ass without tearing paper, clean out until it's clean
it almost hurts to sit until I forget about it
>feel like fapping to pics of a girl
>get pics
>go on a website like omegle
>show pics on omegle for others to fap to, claim I'm the girl's father or brother
>>703927526
damn...
Sit down when I take a piss, Im a guy
I return to the bathroom a couple times after I have a wet/sketchy shit and I wipe my ass because I feel as though there's still shit behind, even if there's none. I also shove a finger wrapped in paper up my ass to clean it after I shit. Sometimes I even squeeze toilet paper/a tissue between my asscheeks for a period of time to make sure nothing leaks
I'm not even gay my asshole just bleeds from intensive wiping and it feels like trickling shit
>>703932370
can you fucking cucks give your opinion? Ffs the one time i want you faggots to give your opinion you don't do it.. You're all worthless
>white people
holy shit
>>703934832
Opinion on what? Brushing your teeth in the shower is normie as fuck. I just did it about 20 minutes ago..
>>703921730
same here
>>703934727
so last night i took a shower then a shit later on before my girl came over, so i wiped well and cleaned with a wet towel. i always have a 'dirty towel' on the floor in the bathroom from my last shower to make sure my asshole is completely clean.
so i'm in bed with ol' girl for an hour or two and i have to get up and piss since i've been drinking water all day trying to stay hydrated since i'm busy as fuck.
take a leak, clean my dick, get back in bed....and notice my ass feels a bit funny. not like dirty but like every so slightly wet.....maybe it's just sweat.....
about an hour later she gets up to go to the bathroom.
go to backpack, grab rubber gloves i keep for random cleaning/work/whatever, grab paper towel, wipe, look at it. no brown. thank goodness holy shit i was so worried.
go back to bed with ol girl until like 11 am next morning.
that feel when gf. haven't had one in a while so i'm trying to remain relatively clean.
>>703929180
please stay on r9k you degenerate shit.
>>703927526
you fucking eat your boogers you degenerate?!
>>703935397
what
>>703932370
how is that weird?
i only brush my teeth like a couple times a week, and i'm about to find some shit with no fluoride in it. i quit brushing my teeth daily around 18 and haven't seen a dentist since, have had no tooth pain or issues whatsoever and i'm almost 30.
when you realize that human beings are the only animal based bodies that brush their teeth it really puts things into perspective, not to mention that we still use fluoride daily.
>the ADA claims on their website: Adding fluoride to your community water system is safe and prevents 25% of cavities
prevents only a fucking quarter of them?
i know what prevents damn near all of them, good eating (vitamins, minerals, quality nutrients), not brushing and flossing them daily.
pro tip: never floss your teeth if you have tight teeth, and preferably only do it once in a while if you have loose teeth.
the only reasons i brush my teeth is to 1. keep my gf happy and 2. remove the yellow plaque that builds up every few days. and i damn sure don't swallow that shit, i rinse the fuck out of my mouth.
how's that for strange shit?
Self surgery and modification, i do it quite a bit but nothing gay like piercings shitty home tattoos or wrist cutting...i like fucking with my insides. Bones more so, its cool and for some reason its just my thing idk i have been trying to make myself better with internal and external apparatuses thats atleast how i have justified it i have some parts being made in a machineshop atm i am working on something big.
>>703934285
I got my dick pierced a few months ago and started doing that so I don't spray piss everywhere. Turns out that i don't spray much piss but I learned to enjoy the time sitting so now I do it every time
>>703923723
Me 2
I shower with a knife incesw i am attacked
>>703938216
>not showering with glorious AK instead
or a glock.
>>703935982
and your mouth smells like shit.
nope....it does.
You can't smell it and your gf wont tell you the truth.
sorry about that.
>>703917981
I jerk off with my shit as lube in gloryhole booths for audiences of old queers
>>703922628
dont give in. break the fucking cycle.
>>703932370
a lot of people do this what kind of damage have you taken
>>703925936
I fap to this horse
>>703925614
nigga i jack off to full on granny. and i always think "you might not be useful to society, but you're still useful as a fuck hole."
>i know im a terrible person. fuck off.
>>703917981
i take cold showers and when i'm cleaning my body i constantly chant "keeping it clean, keeping it clean"
Sent from my Android phone
>>703923063
>>703922813
what about fucking wipes
>>703938957
loaded cz 75 po7 under the dry washcloths on the tank of the toilet. even do it when im just taking a shit.
>>703935982
you can do that if you eat like a neanderthal. cavities are relatively new in human history i think because of the sugar introduced into our diets. people existed cavity free for a long time before that. the problem now is of you eat processed foods they have sugar
Sent from my Android phone
>>703940656
not true
>>703921622
Shit, bad luck on that one mqn.
My wife had a kid, and there was no change. Still tight as hell.
She did kegels for 6 months before. And it works.
Its a muscle. If it isnt prepared it will get damaged.
>>703918098
I used to wipe my arse standing but I made the change. Sitting down or in a squat position leaves your arse a little more spread than if standing up so is slightly more efficient.
You usually just lift a cheek and yes I check the toilet paper after every wipe
ye
>>703918424
now it is uncropped copy pasta.
>>703924337
Fuck! You got me!
>>703922892
Stand fag, but also a left hand fag
>>703940656
This is vegetarian/vegan propaganda that has been disproved dozens of times.
Neanderthal remains have cavities, and cavities are an issue throughout all of mans history.
Some South American tribes didnt get them, and it was apparently due to chewing coca leaves...
>>703940485
how ironic that you have a p07, i keep mine in the car though. 1st gen, the one that gets all the hate. it's been great but i really want the gen 2 trigger.
cz75b is my house gun though. my ak74 seems to live in my car as well. now that i'm thinking about it i should really keep an old shotgun in my bathroom just because i can.
>>703918064
nigguh pls
>>703922628
Don't stay in that relationship. Tell her how you feel and work on an amicable break up. That's going to be beyond shitty for both of you and fuck your mental health up if you keep that shit going. Bad for your kid too.
>>703918128
pretty much this sometimes hours, also I check the news a lot, then this site.
>>703940485
I have an sp- 01 i just like the knife when i am naked i feel like a gladiator ntm i can have it in there without having to clean it all the time plus i like to play with it.
>>703938957
Ak good
Glock turd
When i moved out of my parents house i took my little leauge baseball bat with me. I use it to analy masturbate now and i can fit 9 inches in there
Tell fibs on the internet .
>>703942521
ha. super ironic i have a gen 1 as well and perfer it to the gen 2. i do not have combloc superiority yet. that will be next pay.
>>703944434
shiiieeeetttt. Czechnology does not need clean. ive put 700 rounds through my po7 since last cleaning and have yet had the need to clean it.
I pull on my foreskin in such a way that I let it fill with air. Then when I retract it back there's a pocket of air on the head of my penis. Then I squeeze out the air letting out penile fart like sounds. It's kinda like the armpit farts but with a uncircumcised penis
>>703917981
When cooking for myself I like to use large amounts of garlic so that I can enjoy garlicy farts later on.
Ive been told that I over complicate things. Like forming sentences while telling a story. I say 40 words when I could have gotten the same point across with 15.
>>703946326
>gotten
If you're going to be autistic, at least know how to use the language.
>strangest thing you do
Constantly attempt to "succeed" in something: startups, investments, software, business, career, constant fail in each one. Now I'm forty and in 25 years of trying have nothing to show for it. Strangely haven't given up, maybe I should.
I like to hold in my poops for as long as possible.
>>703944603
glocks are fine, they just werk.
>>703945456
you will have euro gun love sooner than later. i still need my dick grip makarov. btw i got my gen 1 p07 for like $350 online when the gen 2 was coming out. best bang for the buck cz out there as now gen 2 p07's are 500+, which i guess in a world where glocks are 650 actually makes sense. but i really want a 2075 rami.
>>703945710
mah nigga. cleaning guns is so fucking overrated and i swear it's more of an AR15 crowd sort of autistic mentality than anything else.
>>703945721
i would do that if i didn't keep my foreskin so tight. i rarely roll that shit back all the way, only if i want to lube the fuck out of it. God tier uncut master race, women love that my cock isn't "all rough like my last boyfriend!".
i do however clean my dick like all the time. every time i piss i wash that shit off unless i'm at work. i never want my dick to taste like piss when it's getting sucked.
>>703946853
Whenever I'm driving a flat, stretch of highway at night, I close my eyes and see how long I can go before getting nervous and opening my eyes again. Then I try to beat the record.
>>703922813
bidets are a fucking godsend. Pretty nice for getting off as a chick too.
>>703948115
fuck off
>>703919525
That's not good. Talk to your doc about trying an SSRI for that problem.
>>703948561
Settle down, fag
>>703940380
Dadbro here. I can't go a day without a good butthole wiping with Costo's Kirkland brand baby wipes.
My wife says that I play with my nipples and laugh like a little girl while I sleep.
>>703948548
amerifag, want bidet but not sure what's the best cheap way to go about it without actually doing any legit plumbing work. i'll google in the meantime but how's your setup?
I like to diarrhea in the shower
>>703948955
Duvet
i watch porn with gingahs :D
>>703948739
whatever
>>703948849
those must be some fun dreams
>>703938216
I do this too. Just in case someone breaks in when I am most vulnerable.
>>703932370
me too. it's the only way. i make too much of a mess to do it outside of the shower.
almost daily i jerk off with other dudes on the internet to fat chicks, sometimes on cam and mic
>>703936866
what the fuck? you need to go into more detail.
why are you people so bad at cleaning your assholes
baby wipes
wet towel
baby powder
shower
why the fuck would you wipe your asshole for 30 minutes instead of just showering
also you can just flush and then clean your ass with water and flush and clean and flush and clean
>>703948955
you can get one that clips on for like 15 buks
I pump air into my penis with one of these balloon pumps. Then I push it back out. It makes dick farts and sometimes bubbles will form on the tip of my penis.
>>703922619
whats wrong with standing up? I never understood the difference
>>703948097
>>703945710
>Weird habits and obsessions thread
>give someone shit for wanting to clean and re oil gun after having a hot shower with it
>thread
>>703949838
I know its weird but i cannot stop ever since i put a composite plate over my sternum...or where one should be i feel a little safer so i am starting to make myself a little safer inside and out, what you wanna know?
>>703950293
>>703949838
Also i plan on embedding optic fibers in my skin and pairing them with a tattoo thats the gayest thing id do
>>703950859
post pics or your implants dont exist
>>703948472
I do that when I'm walking
>>703917981
Before I go outside I take 3 shits so I don't shit myself in public.
I rehearse conversations with myself, especially any involving confrontation or aggression.
I have to admit this somewhere so I guess I should do dit here but I had a dream about my long lost step sister and I beat my dick to it. Disgusting behaviour and I am already considering therapy.
It's hard to think of any strange stuff I do without actually doing it and then realising what I'm doing.
When I'm feeling a lot of anxiety I put my head in a 5 gallon bucket and light packs of firecrackers inside of it. It's really jarring and I do it to try and get the anxiety out. Sometimes I scream into the bucket as well.
When I'm with a person that will give me anal sex.
I like to wait until they have a big hard shit to fuck them in the ass... No rubbers.
I'm bathroom shy. It's nearly impossible for me to pee in a public restroom when I know someone else is in there and even when I'm pretty sure I'm alone I still have problems. I defocus my eyes to help me get a stream started and it works pretty well sometimes.
>>703952447
lol pathetic
>>703935397
Stuffing toilet roll inside your anus can cause fissures as you retract it. I did this and now my ass is so bad I can't hold my shit in when walking. I don't want to go to the doctor either, no doubt he will try to finger my ass.
>>703952641
I have PTSD.
>>703953034
what the fuck could give you PTSD in a public bathroom so bad you cant go
>>703950293
perfect way to get a UTI
>>703917981
I cum in my girlfriends clean panties on a daily basis so that she walks around with my cum in them. she has no idea
>>703928980
It's the holy spirit.
>>703948849 I do it too but while wearing my daughter's panties like a mask and every time I do I cream on my wife's pillow.
>>703917981
I can read peoples' minds. of course no one would ever confirm it because peoples' thoughts are mostly negative.
but there are certain rules to it that you learn along the way and you stop taking stuff so personally after a while.
>>703934832
>>703934979
yes this is daily for me. I brush in shower in morning. why stand in cold bathroom and brush when you can stand under warm water and let the spit go down the drain?
I have a pretty strong paranoia based on the believe that musicians and EDM Artists send malicious messages to me via their music, which is only hearable for me, for everyone else it is party music. Even though I love electronic music I have stopped looking up new music because I'm afraid of new messages which will confirm my Paranoia
>>703953705
ignorant
>>703919989
i never heard of that show. but i see what you mean.
>>703954076
I do that but she knows, it turns her on.
>>703954687
I just kind of watch how people move in rhythm to grammatical english text. I figure I'm getting a general idea of what they think of daily.
Like I can form text in my mind out of any rhythm guys, music, movement, fcking anything the fcking sunlight flickering is like talking to random objects in your head
>>703924032
My nigga
{spoiler} You will be remembered in the chronicles of the oldfags{spoiler}
>>703928980
It is wrong. so many of your issues will go away if you stop masturbating.
I stopped about 7 years ago or so. you go through a withdrawal period for a few years, then things stabilize.
so long as you live a decent life and work and pay your own way, the readjustment will go smooth.
many quirks and nuances about people are the result of masturbation. and just about every sex offense is the result of a person who is a compulsive masturbator.
>>703925614
I fapped to horses,dogs,robots,dragons,gorrilas,zombies,aliens,plants,mutants,army people,explorors,niggers,crackers,red skins,ponys,transformers,traps,futas,men,sea creatures....I could be here all day
>>703927526
Fucking typical millennial trash.
Only thing you're missing is the piss bottles
>>703919077
12 year old detected
>>703955726
Dont indoctrinate that innocent teen with your christian moral values. Thousands of people masturbate and do not have to wash there hands OCDlike afterwards. Masturbation always is fine as long as you feel you can allow it yourself.
I'm currently wearing a pair of tights
I'm a dude
When I walk in the bathroom I make sure the window and shower curtains are closed, I keep thinking someone might be looking in.
When I take a piss I aim to the sides so I don't make a lot of noise.
I don't really do this anymore but for the longest time I took showers with the lights off.
>>703955329
I've wondered if i should tell her
When I'm masturbating I'll imagine women I know and I chronically have to stop every few seconds when my mind auto switches and I think of a family member or some shit.
>>703917981
Spray hot water on my anus, helps me poo
I clean my anus out in my bathtub sometimes instead of using toilet paper
>>703931874
I think I do the first two and 4.
>>703917981
I carry a small plastic spoon with me so when i got to the bathroom and poop i can scoop out the last bit that always gets stuck.
>>703948955
+1 for clip on one, so much simpler to set up
>>703952447
This
Enjoy fapping into my wife's shampoo bottle so that when she washes her hair she is using my cum
>I prepare what i'm gonna say if I have to talk to a stranger.
>and to practice I cover my mouth and I start whispering the planned conversation.
>After take a shit I clean my butthole both ways
>I'm getting use to pee on the shower instead the toilet.
>I laugh when I get hurt.
Rolling dubs
>>703956528
lmao why
>>703951047
Sure post pics of your mums pussy or it doesnt exist ill show you a pic of my chest with a big bump and long scar on it that will be really conclusive evidence.
>>703919525
made an ex cum pretty hard on DXM, light doses are chill
>pic related
>>703922813
At least I don't feel alone anymore
