ITT we work at a office
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT we work at a office
Who the fuck replaced the printer ink with piss!
*riiiing*
>>703641922
I'm actually at work right now in an office in a thread pretending that I work in an office, which I do.
>>703642136
what are you waiting for
hit on Debra already
>>703642136
meta
>>703641922
AN office you uneducated nigger cuck, who hired you? Did you suck them off for this job?
Who forgot to take the fucking keurig cup out of the keurig
>>703642208
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays
*sneeze*
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS PRINTING OUT DICKS ON THE 2ND FLOOR PRINTER
-Mike from pool department
Sorry guys, I broke the copier. All I wanted to do was make more staplers. :(
How's the wife and kids, George?
oh shit there is niggers stealing the computers!
>>703642456
Six feet under you sack of shit
>>703642136
Seriously, me too.
>>703642512
I here there is niggers near by
its time to lynch those negros!
>>703642736
Thanks adam
my soul is dying
>>703641922
Hey dweeb, where's my coffee?
>>703642887
I didn't think you drank coffee, Steve; I thought you only drank dicks.
>>703643040
*Cum, you autist. How do you drink a dick?
Remember people, i gotta get that paperwork done..by..friday... OH GO-
>>703643040
Nah nah, he only drinks liquid shit.
You're thinking of Steve from analysis.
>>703643093
Correcting this is the truest form of autism.
>>703643150
Tell my wife... she would have killed me with her poisonous personality anyways.
>>703643150
Holy shit our rivel comany get blown up!
Why do I get the impression that I'm the only person in this thread who has actually worked in an office
>>703641922
Help! my foxfire isnĀ“t working I cant use my internet now
>>703643700
Just get google ultra then you old cunt go die like the jews
>>703643040
I pay more in taxes than you make in a year faggot
I c-could set the building on fire
>>703643637
You aren't.
See
>>703642636
And
>>703642136
Im at the office right now.
>>703642887
Here's your mail Chad...and my pussy
For the last time, I don't care how much you hate McAfee. This is the anti-virus program management wants us to use. Disabling it WILL result in an incident report being sent to your manager.
--Steven in IT
***Riiiiinnnnggggggg mother fucker*****
>>703643869
Nope, i just looked up your salary in the HCM database, my base is higher than yours, AND i get a sales bonus.
>>703644143
Hello, this is Vandelay industries, how may I direct your call?
>>703643965
Go fuck you boyfriend steve
Bill from desk 88 is better than you and he is a neo nazi
Nice weather we're having today.
>>703644153
That's some fuckin high talk from an unpaid intern in Human Resources
So I see you're using GNOME.
Shitter is clogged again.
>>703644176
ok, im from tokio, and i will pay with eCoins one tonner... How much is long?
>>703643961
>>703642887
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE GET PREPEARED BECAUSE THIS WILL BE BLOODIER THEN SHANDY HOOK!
>>703644289
an executive running linux?
Hey front desk, can you point me to the HR copier? I'm from the repair company and I need to realign the roller.
>>703644602
>>703641922
WHO THE FUCK ATE MY FUCKING YOGURT?!?
IT HAD MY NAME POST-IT ON!!!!
Iāll have all you motherfuckers know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iāve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iām the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. Who ever ate my fucking yogirt is nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with eating my fucking yogurt? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your finger prints are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youāre fucking dead, FUCKER. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatās just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little āclever" theft was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have thighten your fucking belt. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youāre fucking dead, kiddo.
>>703644235
Is someone still pissed that I put Breitbart on the list of banned sites. Also, turn your McAfee back on or I'm suspending your login for a week.
-Steve in IT
>>703641922
Go fuck yourself Charlie, leaving me half your paperwork every, fucking, day
>>703644721
little kek
>>703644711
OOC I'd love a link to a version with sound
IC yeah, linux kernel, got it Mohammad, enjoy your trip to goatfakkistan this weekend.
Anon, where the fuck are those TPS reports I asked for yesterday?!
>>703642636
A friend of mine just got laid off from oracle. Worked in server development and Java development.
>>703644968
Catherine was supposed to send them to your office, I'll have them by 9!
>>703644721
Fuck you David you're just a jew and I don't care if magement says I can't wear thus or threathing my nigger co workers
>>703645137
Catherine was fired two years ago, Anon, stop bullshitting, or I'm telling Denholm on you.
>>703645151
I'm not paying again for your clothes
>>703645128
I dont work for oracle, I'm a peoplesoft development contractor working at a client site. We obviously bill by the hour, so much of my day is spent on 4chan.
>>703645214
Please dude, show some mercy, we've known each other for 2 years now
Did anyone sent the fax this morning? That client is creepy
>>703644235
Oh shit I broke Bills moonman collection WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO!
>>703644758
Incoming email, Steve.
From: [email protected]
(Warning! Sender may be spoofing! Reply "1" to view suspected fraudulent mail headers.)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Pay up
Message:
Hello Steve. I've just installed ultracrypter across the whole network. The entire rack in your NOC is infected, you can pay us 10.0 BTC at 1DENS-jdBUL-HMYvp-mwgsJ-w2mo8-aL8wc-VABW for the decryption key.
WHERE
IS
MY
COFFEE?
>>703641922
Is it wrong that this is pretty much my dream?
>>703645888
I'll get it for you, hon! How would you like it?
Who else is excited to see who's gonna become employee of the month for September?
I've heard that someone took a shit on Mike's desk on inspection day.
>>703645754
to:[email protected]
I am sorry to inform you that any ransom over $15 has to go through the IT Management Director. Unfortunately Alan quit last week and moved to Romania to become a full time hacker.
I've forwarded your email to Susan in Accounting. sorry for the inconvenience.
-Steve in IT
Is there fresh coffee? Could you bring some?
>>703646083
BLACK
GET IT NOW
I SAID GET IT NOW!!!
>>703646083
(Psst, spit in it)
>>703643965
I've never worked in an office but I felt some rage over this.
>>703646165
Yep that me
>>703646193
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
[email protected]
Technical details of permanent failure:
DNS Error: 151790150 DNS type 'mx' lookup of USSR.su responded with code NXDOMAIN
Domain name not found: USSR.su
>>703644711
>Tfw somebody posts something nerdy on an anonymous site and I'll never get to ask them to fuck me
Damn it all.
OK every body listin up we need to sign this paper to drop a another nuke on Japan
so who with me?
>>703646230
Oh god yes, yell at me.
I'll go get my collar as well.
>>703646661
AND DON'T LOOK WITH THAT STUPID FACE
>>703646515
What is your gender and state,county?
>>703646751
Calm down bro, you're hourly anyway
>>703644721
well i'm batman. try to beat that kiddo
>>703646230
>>703646751
Here you go, Sir. Is there anything else I can do to please you?
>>703646792
F/MO
Just making some microwave popcorn. 5 minutes should be enough time right?
To: The person(s) that sent tranny hooker to my office.
If you're going to send a tranny hooker to "relieve my blue balls and kill the bug up my ass" at least get one that's been on hormones for at least 12 months.
-Steve in IT
>>703646989
Please no. 2.5 minutes should do it. Be careful.
>>703646976
Ahh geeze, I'm up in PA. I will be in Independence in 2020 for a school reunion.
>>703647003
This is suspiciously similar to people I know who actually work in IT.
>>703647143
But I hate when there's a bunch of kernels left over! I'm gonna do 5 minutes just in case. I'll be back at my desk if you need me.
Time to microwave my tuna fish sandwich.
>>703646905
Polish my boots
>>703647003
Hey steve do you need adam kill the tranny
>>703642736
>>703647189
Ah, you're a bit younger than me, looks like. Assuming 2020 is your 10-year.
*sits on photocopier and makes a print job for 100 coppies of my ass*
>>703647293
Um... okay. Let me get my horsehair brush.
>>703647310
No, its cool. I paid them $50 to polish Bill's knob
>>703647293
that is strangely sexy
>>703641922
Probably something like this ....... HEY REMEMBER ME ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YZeoW-WFZ4
>>703647328
Free food in the break room.
>>703642379
That would be me. It's for the 4chan Traptober ad campaign.p
>>703647328
2020 was a bit of an arbitrary date, I think it will have been like 8 by then. I'm only 20, but I'm working in infosec now and don't plan on ever leaving this industry.
>>703647561
What in the world is that?
Also, be back soon. I'm off to masturbate to pictures of men in suits.
>>703641922
>sits down at desk
>taps pencil
>looks around
>opens up 4chan
>clicks on thread
>ITT we work at a office
>begins to type
>>703645128
Oracle is the biggest pedo Jew out there
>>703647633
to clarify, it was a boarding school that several of us were at for a few years as preteens and teenagers. We're going back as we will all be like... actual adults by then (25ish), just to catch up and reconnect. It's weird, you live in the same room with 3 people for a few years during your formative years, and those are some really enduring bonds.
*counts pixels on monitor*
>>703647749
you still that F/MO chick?
>>703647673
Its Naf Naf grill. They make shawarma and stuff. Its good. And thats really me, eating at the office IRL, right now.
>>703647849
Yep.
>>703647575
Susan, could you please make two million copies of this dick.
Bad news people. Management says everyone on floor 17 has to come in this Saturday at 9 AM for a sensitivity seminar.
Worse news is pic is the speaker.
>>703647907
sent
>>703647673
>>703647861
Have you taken advantage of the health club benefits yet?
>>703647907
>>703648131
I'm ushanka
>>703648175
What does a health club do? I've never heard of this. Is this like when people walk together on lunch break?
>>703648119
Dont worry either bill or adam will kill her
>>703642736
>>703644235
>>703648175
>>703648119
I'm not going.
>>703647907
>>703647749
>>703646976
Check your message requests on FB.
>>703648574
Damnit Sean you HAVE to go. You know the how the settlement went, its either this or she gets hired as an HR director.
>>703642456
Thier dead....
Hello, I'm Rick, the new GM. Hope you guys don't mind working late tonight!
>>703648747
Look, I'm gonna be straight up, if you looked me up on Facebook with that email I'm gonna have to see which profile you messaged. It'll be a minute.
>>703648862
Only if I get to masturbate to my coworkers. I love men in suits.
>>703648977
This is essentially a men in suits thread, with one guy who actually does work in an office (doing IT work probably)
>>703648862
Can't work late tonight Rick, I've been pulling 16 shifts for the past month and I need some me time.
-Steve in IT
>>703649050
Yup. I'm pretty hot and bothered at the moment.
>>703648119
Why ignore her? Let her ramble on incoherently, as we revel in her ignorance.
>>703649166
YOU SON OF A BITCH STEVE!
You know much gas you have to use to kill some one steve you cunt!
-Bill from desk 88 IT
Whon ever keeps putting "Chair for sale" pictures on the west side elevator, can you please stop it? I've thrown away about 17 of these things.
Thanks
-Julio the night janitor
>>703649553
Bill, for the third time, you cannot hang "Hitler Will Rise Again" flags on your window over the rear guest entrance.
- Management
>>703649650
Fuck you Julio, you're not my boss.
Yours truly,
JĆ©sus
>>703649888
Both you guys need to shut the hell up or your BOTH going to get a visit from ICE.
>>703649166
Hey Steve, when you get a chance, can you check my computer for viruses? I keep getting pop ups of a man farming out rainbows. It is very disturbing and I can't get any work done.
-Doug in sales
>>703649650
Julio, I'd like to personally remind you that our office is for you to clean, it's not an overnight daycare for your children. Bring em in one more time and I'm calling ICE.
- Management
>>703650017
Doug, we've got a report of your browsing history from IT. Accessing pornographic content while at work is in direct violation of the employee code of conduct. This is your second verbal warning.
- Management
>>703650006
Fuck you cabrone, I was BORN in amerikkka
>>703649050
You ask and I shall deliver
>>703650006
>>703650031
I was born in Cleveland. You will be hearing from my lawyers soon for this act of discrimination.
-Julio the night janitor
>>703649050
I'm a peoplesoft functional consultant. I mostly sell technical solutions.
>>703649201
Don't get hot and bothered. Its mostly cocaine and whiskey and failed marriages.
>>703648574
Sean, we're sorry you don't like the speaker. Maybe we wouldn't need workplace sensitivity training if you had stopped calling the southern Asian woman "Cambodian tranny hookers". Too late now.
- Management.
>>703642512
Jim, I think you need to take a visit to HR.
>>703650401
Julio, you're aware that filing a lawsuit against The Offices of Moot, Anon, & Chan Inc. immediately voids your employment contract and all owed severance pay, right?
>>703642512
Jim, I do not want to need to talk to you about this again. Darrel is a member of IT, and he works here. Racial slurs are not tolerated lightly here. This is your last verbal warning.
- Management
>>703650149
The first offense was clearly a misunderstanding. As I've explained to HR I was trying to listen to the band "Pussy Riot" and instead was shown a lesbian orgy.
-Doug in sales
>>703649876
Why the fuck not my brother adam has a moonman wallpaper for his computer
-Bill from desk 88 IT
>>703650556
You mean section 5 of the agreement? I thought that they voided it 2 years ago
>>703650535
>>703650556
Well shit, Adam already lynched him
>>703642736
>>703642832
>>703650709
Doug, I understand that you feel your first offense was a misunderstanding. Just don't let it happen again, ok?
>>703650749
Bill, this is not up for debate. Adam works in the annex and nobody even ever sees his screen, he's always got his SSH client open because he's actually working.
You cannot hang the flag because guests entering the rear entrance will see it. Do not let it happen again, this is your last verbal warning.
Hey everyone,
Don't forget to sign the card for Jamaal the secuirty guard. It is his birthday on Friday.
-Tina in R&D
>>703650968
Section 5 was voided because it was replaced by Section 22, which contains additional restrictions. Think carefully here Julio, you've got a family to feed, don't you?
Why oh why are we still using Windows 98?
>>703651126
Tina, check your Facebook
- IT Security
>>703651167
As you know, my family died last year in August. There was a service and everything.
Expect to hear from my lawyers soon.
-Julio (currently unemployed)
>>703651167
I'm JĆ©sus. What we mexicans all look the same to you puta?
>>703651260
At least you're not stuck trying to explain to our kike overlords that we couldn't get the free upgrade to Win10.
-Steve in IT
>>703651265
Who put "Happy Birthday Monkey! Avoided another lynching this year!"
This is TRULY DISGUSTING
-Tina in R&D
>daily report from all employees in this thread
>im the boss
>>703651489
Oh fuck that. I'd rather use windows 7 or Vista
>>703651545
Tina, that was your twice-removed cousin. I sent you a request. We should grab a drink after work.
- IT Security
If you could come in at the weekend that would be great.
>>703651081
He is apart of kkk are you blind or what
I mean look at him he is wearing a kkk costume!
>>703642736
>>703643813
*shoots up the place*
lol ur all ded kekekekekekekekekkekek
Christ. The IT in this building are useless. Can we get someone more mechanicly inclined?
>>703651545
It was adam from annex
>>703643813
>>703651912
What do need boss, just transferred here from Pretisge about 3 days ago. Gave me some discount laptop to reply from
-Marco the Mechanic
>>703651662
For the fifth time, I'm engaged. Please stop asking me out amd leaving flowers at my desk or I will have to notify management
-Tina in R&D
A few more days and it'll be HUMP DAY
*faps secretly under the table*
>>703652058
We need to lock out Bill and Adam fron company servers. If they want to look at Klan porn, they can do it at home
>>703652192
Whoah, I didn't mean like that. I'm not single either, in case you didn't notice that. Thought you were just looking for an infosec buddy.
- Ryan from IT Security
>>703652346
Ask IT for that shit
-Marco the Mechanic
>>703652305
Actual office guy here. Theres a guy at this site i am st right now who beats off under his desk. He was caught by a coworker who emailed him "slow down, buddy". Not even shitting you. Chinese dude, fapping to sex stories (not even pictures) apparently.
For the last time, MY SEX LIFE IS MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS! One, I am not into BDSM. And two, the SonicWall is staying on and will STILL block Facebook, Twitter, Breitbart AND Spotify.
-Steve in IT
>>703645151
Goddammit Craig i thought I told you, no threatening minorities in the office. If you pull this shit again I'll tell Linda in HR
I don't feel well but I came to work anyway.
>>703652346
For the record, Bill and Adam are in charge of the payroll servers. And since those things are from the 70s and STILL run on COBOL it would be a miracle finding anyone else to service those damn things.
To sum it up, Bill and Adam are staying so suck it up.
-Steve in IT
>>703652855
ITS MT BUSINESS!!! THATS MY WIFE YOU SON OF A BITCH
-Marco the Mechanic
>>703643965
>implying group policy doesn't prevent you from disabling it
I just stapled hands together!
OK since the speaker didn't work so well we decided to get a kkk member to talk about racism that it is wronge and bad
-CEO
I'm here about the phone system.
Sorry guys I just need to give the system a quick reboot. Phones will be down for the next 10 minutes.
>>703652855
Really? Because I found a picture of you and your mistress you have on the side. I feel like sending it to your wife.
Deeper Throat
>>703652283
Ah fuck me, WHO LET THIS FUCKING CAMEL BACK IN?
>>703653186
ą¤¹ą„ą¤²ą„ ą¤®ą„ą¤ ą¤Øą¤Æą¤¾ ą¤¹ą„ą¤ IT intern
>>703653688
I knew we should have called for the Mechanicum
>>703653273
For the last time, I DID NOT BRING HERE!!! DO you think I LIKE it that someone in this building is constantly sending me random sex workers to try and 'improve my disposition'?
If I see one more whore, tranny, dominatrix or gimp at my station I'm forwarding ALL company emails to the SEC.
-Steve in IT.
>>703653090
No you fucking spic I can say what ever I want to you're just a shit stain on American soil
>>703642208
No, i got assfucked.
>>703653524
1. I'm not married
2. What Karen in Sales does on her own time is her own business as long as it doesn't affect the office.
-Steve in IT
>>703641922
An office for ants?
>>703654391
OH SHIT WHY IS THERE SO MANY ANTS!
>>703642210
Except you won't forget your password. It'll just be a factoid of your life that you take to your grave.
>>703654362
Right, I forgot you had that messy divorce. No matter, I am still tempted to send this out to all staff in the building including the CEO... Unless you are willing to strike a deal.
Deeper Throat
>>703654525
Will, it is blood you're bleeding all over the desk
Rick here again, guys can we pick up the slack a little bit? These numbers aren't matching up with our goals and estimates.
We're going to have to stay late again tomorrow and the rest of the month at this rate.
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Can someone please explain why we're spending around $20,000 a month on "Bailey Jay" and "Brazzers" subscriptions on the company credit cards?
Maybe someone in IT knows?
- Mark Shekelstein, CFO
>>703654663
Go ahead, Karen just put in her two weeks and is opening up a dungeon. I think she'd love the advertising.
>>703654819
What the hell do we do here anyway Rick?
"PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean?
>>703654931
Its a liquidity trap
Who stole my sandwich from the fridge and put a loaf of bread in the shitter?
>>703642241
Dave.
>>703654931
Uh, Good afternoon Sir.
Merely highely sophisticated spreadsheet software absolutely necessary to remain competitive.
I won't bore you with the technical aspects, sir.
>>703642379
I contributed.
-Rich from IT
Who the fuck keeps taking lube from the supply closet?!?
-Marco from Custodians
>>703655017
Y-you sure? I literally have shit here that can tarnish your reputation here, and you're acting calmly about it?! People are hard to extort these days
Deeper Throat
>>703655331
I fucking knew it he wouldn't give me a mint that dick face
Me and some collegues have decided the coffee in the machines tastes like shit, so we are going to buy a real coffee maker to spice things up a bit. thing is only people who pay a weekly fee is allowed to get coffee. so stay away ass holes!
>>703641922
Alright everyone, I brought some munchkins! Now, you can only take a maximum of three, so the others can have some. Be sure to use the napkins.
>>703655597
No thank you good sir tea and crumits is all I need.
>>703655597
Well how much are we talking here?
>>703655597
This actually has happened at my office.
>>703655461
I need it for my gay orgies.
-Rich from IT
>>703655490
Tarnish my reputation? I work with at least two Klan members, I live in one of the electronic waste storage rooms (the one with all the old CRT monitors) and some jackass keeps sending me random sex workers to fuck me.
My reputation is already fucked. There is nothing you can do to hurt me.
-Steve in IT
>>703655791
There is only 20 of them there is 60 peopke in here dumbass
>>703655597
How much is the fee?
-Rich from IT
>>703655791
Thanks man.
-Rich from IT
>>703656092
That's why I brought more than one box, DYLAN. For that, you can only get 2.
>>703655879
i'll report you to my supervisor. only coffe here!
>>703655899
2$ per week. remember you are resonsible to make sure we have enough coffe. how often you'll be responsible depends on how many joins the coffee team!
>>703655904
mine too that's why i brought it up. it's a real story
>>703655419
Well, that settles that.
Keep up the good work, Johnson!
-Mark Shekelstein, CFO
>>703656081
Shit. You got me there. I... fuck.
Deeper Throat
>>703656081
I'll give you five bucks to go slap the manager.
-Rich from IT
PS: haven't seen you in the office before, you new?
>>703641922
Can someone please tell Gayle we are utilizing Dropbox now and she can stop intermailing the shipping forms?
>>703655904
you don't happen to work at sweco do you?
Carl, you're a fucking faggot.
-Literally everyone else in accounting
>>703656257
2 bucks?! Fuck me, suck me and call me daddy. That's a steal
>>703656257
I'll pay the fee. I'll bring in some Creamer in vase anyone wants some.
-Rich from IT
>>703656081
Make that three klan members
>>703653976
>>703645151
Anyone seen my dirty mags I keep in the supply closet?
I swear if Bill has them
-Marco from Custodians
>>703656409
No, i work for BCG.
>>703656470
Who are we dealing with in accounting? I'm rarely down there, I'm mostly fixing shit in the retard division, (most of this office by the way.) so who do you work with?
-Rich from IT
>>703656470
How's it feel knowing you're the only one who graduated from a state school here?
>>703656511
>>703656504
awesome. so we are 3 at the moment! now once a month we also need to have friday cake day. ok?
STOP MAKING MORE MESS AND PUT IT IN A PILE YOURE NOT HELPING
>>703656559
If it is nazi porn he probably them or these two klansmen
>>703653976
>>703656522
You can throw me in the neo Nazi category.
-Rich from IT
>>703656706
same kind of people same retarded problems ;)
I'm fucking done with this asshole of a company.
Anyone want a drink of whiskey, come to the 23rd floor, corner cubicle on the window side.
P.s.
Margaret from HR is a bitch, go fuck yourself you old hag. Smoking indoors is perfectly legal.
-Jay from payroll
>>703655597
Hah i just secretly drink booze from my flask
-Management is for winners
>>703656902
It's not, it's loli[spoiler]pop suckers[/spoiler] it's where they suck on lolipops while fingering each other
>>703656758
I say do it on the last friday of every month. Use it to motivate the employees
>>703656766
Fuck you, I can make mess if I want.
-Rich from IT.
>>703657066
I'll take a few shots. I'll bring my Vodka.
-Rich from IT
>>703642014
Are you going to answer that? The whole office can hear, James.
>>703656740
Ivy League prick who never let's anyone get away from a conversation without flaunting his fucking master's degree.
>>703656756
Fuck you, Carl. Even if you went to Harvard it doesn't mean that you're the king of the department.
Also, I know you buy store brand shoes you dick.
-George from accounting
Hello guys. First day here. So, where is my office?
- Steven, former career politician
So how are your families doing? Caught my faggot son fapping to a burning piano so I kicked him in the dick.
-Rich from IT
>>703657360
I swear to god you and I work in the same office. The competition here between yalies, columbrats, and brown towns is absurd.
>>703657770
Basement level, next to the dungeon that Karen opened up
Guys quiet I'm trying to do some work.
>>703657770
Second floor, down the hall, left side. Call me if you need help getting set up.
-Rich from IT
>>703657865
Sold my wife for some Cuban crack. Forgot my 3 yo son at Walmart
-Carlos from PR
>>703642341
Great! Now I'm gonna get sick because you have to fucking sneeze every where!
-Matt from Engineering
>>703657959
Fuck you I'll blast my metallica in a drunken rage if you don't stop being a faggot.
-Rich from IT
>>703657959
Oh shut the fuck up Ted. I can see you playing Starcraft right now, also way to get buttfucked by Terrans. You're a goddamn Protoss player, act like it
>>703658082
Hopefully someone got some use out of your son. Was that crack any good?
-Rich from IT
>>703657066
care to share a rhum and coke mate?
The tacos are coming up boys
Help m...
-Joseph from IT
>>703658359
ah
- Rick -GM-
>>703658349
No, half of the fucking package was dry paint.
-Carlos from PR
>>703658201
Is that Master of Puppets I hear you playing? I'm a floor above and I approve.
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late did I miss anything in the meeting?
>>703650420
I can't help it. Men in suits are fine as hell.
>>703658186
You want me to go and shoot the Bastard with the air soft pistol I bring in every day? ( in case you're wondering some faggot has been shooting me for days and I don't know where the fuck he is.)
-Rich from IT
hey mates has anyone seen my dubs?
>>703658490
Damn, what did you do with the good half?
-GM Rick
>>703658325
No I only play Hay Day in my free time when I finish my work. That's the only game I play.
>>703657959
Shut the hell up, Ted, you homo. We're dancing.
>>703658490
Damn. You lost the pussy and the crack. I got some crack if you want some.
-Rich from IT
>>703658028
Wait, that's my """"office""""
-Marco from Custodians
>>703658666
No, you got some nice trip there Satan
>>703658587
Wow, took a long time to fap didnt you.
say hello to tom from analytics my latest report is on productivity. we'll be bankrupt within two weeks. i am sorry.
>>703658201
Get back to work or I call the boss.
-Ted from IT
>>703658569
I'm playing Eye of the Beholder.
I'll go scout out who's playing the other shit with my trusty air soft pistol.
-Rich from IT
>>703656758
Count me in
>>703658856
Hey Tom! Fuck you.
I heard Karen blew some branch manager in hopes of a promotion.
Any truth to that?
>>703642185
Kek
Ok guys, this is Josephine. She's going to be working with Karen down in the dungeon. She'll also be doubling as our insurance's mental health provider.
>>703658585
Not much. It broke out in a violent air soft war though.
-Rich from IT
>>703658746
You too stop bullying me or I call the boss.
-Ted from IT
>>703658666
>>703658856
>we'll
I'm a contract hire, good luck
-Marco from Custodians
>>703658711
*you must construct additional pylons*
Uh-huh. Hayday. Real convincing.
>>703659017
Wait airsoft guns? You mean I brought my .44 for nothing?
>>703658774
He's working next to you. Let's hope he does a good job at not pissing anyone off because he's the newfag of the office.
-Rich From IT
Hello people. Is this the floor where I am supposed to be. And don't use pronouns on me
- Sulima, former Buzzfeed editor
Hey, Rich, sorry for imploding earlier, I've been having problems at home. My wife beats me, and it's been pretty hard to cope with it. I've just been really on edge and trying to control the few things I can.
-Adam from IT
>>703658881
I don't got shit to fix. I'll go organize all the old floppy disks I guess.
-Rich from IT
(PS: Got any Advil? My knee is acting up again.)
Who owns the building?
>>703659274
The fuck are you supposed to be you troll?
>>703659174
No. You could still use it, just not very advisable.
-Rich from IT
lolllolololollololololololololololol faggots!!!!!!!
>>703659274
FUCK
Get the neo nazis and klansmens right here now!
>>703658931
>>703651744
>>703653976
>>703649553
>>703659274
Oh, sure thing! Just grab a mop and start cleaning after everyone is gone, but don't forget your gender neutral janitor uniform. I spilled some vomit just now, so start with that.
-Adam from IT
>>703659358
Rich stop making up excuses and work.
-Ted from IT
>>703659326
Damn. Got any way you could get out of that shit?
-Rich from IT
>>703659326
> wife beat me
one word
cuck
>>703659402
Excuse me you ignorant cismale. I am a senior and professional video editor for Buzzfeed. Now show me some gender equality respect or I take you to court.
>>703659611
I'm working dammit. Was just asking for medicine.
>>703659549
Finally. The nazis are doing something useful for a change
>>703641922
DAMMIT KEN! STOP EJACULATING ON MY FUCKING KEYBOARD!
Who is up for a another thread?
Maybe if these bastards would stop shit posting on /b/ all day I could get some di*k
-Anna in HR
>>703659821
-Jerry from Accounting
>>703659821
That's not ken. That's me.
-Rich From IT.
>>703659921
Me.
-Rich From IT
>>703659493
Here you take it, you IT guys seem stable enough.
>>703659957
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
FUCKING NORMIE
>>703659998
Sorry Rich. Meant to send to Ken. Could you forward it to him?
-Jerry from Accounting
>>703659998
Hey Rich, why are all of the people who work here shitposters on 4chan's /b/ board?
-Anna in HR
Hey guys. I just unlocked Tina's user and I'm about to have her send Meatspin and Lemon Party to the CEO.
-Randal from IT
>>703659706
How about you suck my dick?
>>703660199
Meet me in the custodian's closet in 20 minutes.
-Anna in HR
>>703660360
Can I join?
Jerry from Accounting
>>703660360
Gotta get some creep footage. Gonna post that on /b/ later
>>703660171
The most qualified for their jobs. As I'm sure you are for you job.
-Rich From IT
>>703660360
Yea ok. Wait anna? Didn't we hook up at the Christmas party?
>>703660360
Good luck, that shits on lock
-Marco from Custodians
>>703660442
Let's go Jerry
*Rubs your hardening cock wallking down the hall*
-Anna in HR
>>703660158
I meant I'm the one jizzing on the keyboard.
-Rich from IT
Thread is dead.
>>703660546
*dongle extends*
-Jerry from Accounting
>>703660180
>>703660180
Always hated her. Godspeed, Randal, Godspeed.
New thread?
>>703660805
after this one
>>703660610
You fucker.
Jerry from Accounting
>>703660360
Can I join in? I got stolen lube.
-Rich From IT
>>703660782
*Sucks and spits all over your cock and bounces my big fat ass*
-Anna in HR
