>ITT We pretend we're on an airplane
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>ITT We pretend we're on an airplane
>>703242648
*coughs*
Weoooo weooo wroooooooom
Sir your sitting in my seat
>>703242648
This simulates the background noise of the engines.
whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>703242648
Dude, my legs. Can you not fucking lean your seat back.
>>703242809
Obviously Im in the correct seat. You've clearly misread your ticket.
Hey look how cool the twin towers look from here
What the fuck is this beard motherfucker saying?
>>703242992
Hey fuck you buddy
Huntington passengers this is your captain speaking our estimated arrival time from Phoenix to Dallas is about A2 hour-and-a-half flight
stop kicking my FUCKING SEAT
*Sleeps intensely*
Allahu Akbar!!!!
a quick jerk in the restroom wont hurt anybody...
Hey guys, why there is a banana on my sit...
Dubs amd allah snackbar
>>703242992
The guy in front of me is leaning back, can't you just do the same?
>>703243146
*continues to sleep intensely*
>>703243027
No this is row b seat 2 now please fuck off before I shove that neck pillow up your dogs ass
Omg that guy is chewing like a fucking mong *turns music up louder*
Hey captain, can I try flying the plane? Lol just give me the controls.... I'll try what I learned from battlefield
I think I saw my pilot getting shitfaced at the airport bar. Is he cool to fly this thing?
*whispers to next seat* hey did you see how shit the new iphone is?
If someone doesnt shut that baby up I'm going to strangle it.
>>703242648
Hey I know I asked for the window seat for a red eye but I'm now going to ask the 2 of you to get up every hour so I can go to the bathroom
>>703243343
You stupid shit, we all know you played battlefield 1.
>>703243085
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-2nByd2cr4
I hate you all
Don't mind me, just bomb- I mean chilling out.
>>703242992
i'm 6'1 with pretty long legs. I have zero problem stretching on a plane. i don't put shit under the seat in front of me so i have plenty of room regardless who leans their seat back.
BOMB!!!!
This FUCKING KID. STOP KICKING MY SEAT YOU LITTLE TURD
Why are there so many kids on this fucking plane?
Oh...right...
>underagefags
>>703243384
What did you just say?! The iPhone is the pinaccle of cellphone performance
>>703243428
Do you want a snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anyone know what movies are scheduled for this flight?
>>703242648
I'll just sit right here.
HE GUYS SISSY CUTE TRAP HERE WITH A FEMININE PENIS. ANYONE WANT TO LICK MY BOIPUCCI? ;D
>>703243553
Big mama's house on VHS and a lot of the tape is damaged.
Hey does anyone want some cool banana snacks i stole from this girls bag?
>>703243625
I need about tree fitty
>>703243569
Will someone get this hambeast off of me?!
>>703242648
Did someone say airplane?
wait a fucking minute, why is this shit flying on the ground?
Looks like the left engine is on fire guys
>>703243719
Yeah thatd be nice
>>703243343
see i can fly this thing
Goddamit, I'm a platinum frequent flier perks member and I demand to be upgraded to first class and have the hottest flight attendant blow me as part of the preflight service.
>>703243734
Fuk is thee ZYE Dud
>>703243469
>6'1
>tall
Everyone has problems with leg space on planes dumbass. It might not apply if you only do 2 hour flights and such, but if you stay in your seat for 10 hours + your knees and legs will start to ache and going to the bathroom isn't enough to fix it.
>>703243719
*wakes up from medically frightening sleep* I FUCKING LOVE BANNANA SNACKS *gets raped by air marshall*
>ounce of weed taped inside
>>703242648
BOMB!
>>703243771
Edgyfag spotted
Um sir, could you please stop kicking my seat? It's really annoying.
>>703243632
It's okay. My doctor prescribed me a bottle full of xanax for this exact reason.
>>703243894
Um bitch? Can you stop getting so butt hurt? It's pretty fucking annoying.
>>703243855
I don't know what the fuck are you trying you piece of shit, no bait is allowed on this plane.
i overheard the captain saying that the weight for the plane is far too much, so people will have to be thrown out into the sky and plummet to the earth and die.
i vote the fat fuck and the ragheads to step off.
>>703243727
Shut up or I'll eat you whole.
WAAAHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAH-AHH-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WAAAHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAH-AHH-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
>>703243938
Gtfo of my plane
>>703242648
WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAWAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAWAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAWAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAWAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAWAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No fuck you faggot flight attendant, I don't want to spend $30 on your shitty stale sandwich snackbox.
YOU FUCK NOW THE BABY IS CRYING
*tooks gun out* this plane is now managed by isis airlines, our next destination is: the white house
>>703244001
Ummm excuse me? Can you not? I"m just asking you in a civilized manner if you would please stop doing such an absurd thing.
>>703244041
Shut up you fucking mudslime where's your whore single mother
>>703243854
We have people waiting for you on the ground after that fake bomb threat. Prepare your anus
>>703243826
TELL ME WHY HE WEARS THE MASK!!
WHY DOSE HE WEAR THE MASK!?!?
>>703243905
That's why I sleep like a god on flights, it just feels like I blink and I'm there
FUCK!, im sitting beside a nigger
where is the rope when you need it!
>>703244150
>Tooks out gun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAryFIuRxmQ
A-alright anon-n-ns, this is a h-highjacking... Okay?
>>703244152
Okay I'm sorry. Were you off to?
Hello, new friends.
>>703244188
We won't make it that far.
>>703243384
Ugh, can you not? I'm trying to listen to my podcast?
WAIT A MINUTE. IF THE PILOT IS HANGING OUT FROM THE TURBINE OUTSIDE, WHOS FLYING THE PLANE
>>703243295
Sir that's my wife
*muslim prayer intensifies*
>>703244150
>Let's roll
May i get some another wine? I need to sleep.
>>703242648
*Ahem*
the flight shall begin as soon as OP checks 'em
>>703244351
Nosferatu Abdul
>>703244308
Leave me alone, you can't even pronounce basic english.
>>703244351
whoever the fuck is in the bathroom can you hurry the fuck up.
i have to take a shit for fucks sake
>>703243632
Yeah, it was ruined when someone filmed Martin Lawrence dressed as a fat black woman on it
Brought my Family guy boxset, whos up for a marathon?
Here man, have these Ambien. Nothing could go wrong
What the hell. Where are all these snakes coming from!?
>>703244248
Here is rope
keep up the good work my american friend
>>703244502
Okay sorry I'm not really smart but y-yea I'm sorry okay I've been having a tough time with my family
hey guys, missed the plane kind of but here I am.
any free seats for me? I'm so hyped
>>703244634
Did you try sucking their dicks? That usually works for me
>>703244072
>>703244041
Would somebody shut that chicken up? We're never going to make it!
>>703244553
*exits bathroom*
Good luck in the mate, I just made that toilet my bitch.
>begins humming off key
>quickly turns into singing
>>703244384
YEAH WELL YOUR WHORE WIFE IS IN MY SEAT YOU COCK MONGOLING FAGGOT ASS
>>703244724
KEK
>>703244634
I could honestly care less you stupid fucking neckbeard, I doubt you even have a family considering that they left you at the age of 2, you're just trying to get me to feel bad for you so you can see my pussy.
>>703244688
No I don't do that, again I'm sorry I messed with you
TELL ME ABOUT BANE
>>703244724
>Making me relive those mash feels
You're a horrible horrible person
Good afternoon whores and infidels, this is your captain speaking. We are currently approaching our target and will impact shortly.
ALLAAAHHU ACKBARR
ALLAAAHHHHU AKBAAAR
>>703244724
I crushed that Ambien and slipped it into it's drink, we're good.
>>703244923
Why would you shoot them before you throw them out of a plane?
>>703244851
I'm sorry, please forgive me it won't happen again
can i have sleep now
What's the deal with this food?
What are the in flight meals? Also where the fuck are we going?
>>703243485
Fuck you whaaaaaaaaah whaaaaaaaaaah
>>703244951
Suicide is painless, my friend.
>>703242648
*kicks seat*
>>703244724
It was an infant!
>>703242648
Hey, I hear there is a sniper on this pla
Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. Everyone please take your seats, fasten your seatbelts, and shut the duck up. And to whoever jerked off in the bathroom, please don't ejaculate on the door handle.
lights up cig in bathroom
>>703245160
*gets up*
You fucker I'll fucking kill you! *Starts choking anon to death*
>>703245092
Hey kid shut up and I'll let you play with mini me xd
*whips out penis*
>>703245245
The duck wont shut up sir
EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO LAND THIS THING!
Jesus Christ Charlie, I told you not to balance your coffee there ... Now look what you ... Holy Fuck!
Hello, everybody. This is your captain speaking. Thank you for flying Cokeair- I mean, Delta Airways. Please enjoy the flight.
>>703245379
It's actually a chicken. That is actually a baby.
>>703245379
Quack
>>703245379
Then just fucking kill it. We are in a nosedive anyway.
This thread just plane sucks
>>703245629
Quack
>>703245414
This this happens
>>703243811
>>703245629
>>703245505
>>703245751
It wasn't a chicken, was it?
>>703245721
Well then fucking leave retard
>>703245721
Yeah. I knew it would never take off.
Hey guys, look in the back, there's some guy showing a little girl his knob.
>>703245811
>I understood that reference
>>703245891
It's okay he's actually showing it to a duck dressed as a girl
Oh for fuck sake! Those fucking Chinese planes and their tiny fucking sits!
Sir can I have a fucking space to live? Well fuck you too you cheap fucking ass it's not my fault that they delayed us, you could fuck your wife before not now when we're on the fucking take off!!
Is there a porno being filmed in the bathroom or is it just a fat chick that ate too much?
Excellent flight, now off to Japan to play some golf.
>>703242648
*sneeze*
*wipes with hand*
*cough cough cough cough*
*sneeze*
*sneeze*
*sneeze*
*cough cough cough*
>>703245852
Wow, that one almost flew over my head
>>703242648
ALLAHU AKBAR
>>703246118
*plane lands*
>claps like an American
>>703245721
The jokes just flew pass over your head, isnt it?
>>703246219
why is the autist clapping?
yeah, this is my first time flying, can you tell im nervous?
you know planes are supposed to be safer than trains, i read that on google.
we have a higher chance of getting in a train crash than crashing in a plane right?
*nervous look as middle eastern guy passes by*
>>703245505
>>703245143
>>703244724
>>703246029
>>703245811
Whoever is doing this, you made my day.
Top kek.
Can we land now? Where are we?
>>703246287
Sorry about that, I'm his caretaker. Let's get you back to the back anon
This is your captain speaking! We will be leaving in approximately 892 minutes! To waste some time we've given you Sylvania ‑ 9 Portable DVD Players for your entertainment, the only movies we have is "9", "Hotel Translavania 2" and "Cars"
Also we will be serving you cheese n crackers in 300 minutes so stay tuned!
What the actual fuck is a "tendie', ma'am? Control your manlet son or I'll have him thrown off the airplane.
>>703246175
Sorry to drag that one out.
I open the door, depressurizing the interior, and jump out with stolen parachute.
>>703246733
0/11
I could be wrong gents, but, I think someone is trying to crash this plane...with no survivors.
hi guise im adalia rose, wanna see my new outfit?
>>703246855
I think you mean 9/11
>>703242648
Double whiskey DIET coke
Does anyone else see that man on the wing of the plane?
ALLAH AKBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
>>703242648
Hi. When I fall asleep, please punch me in the arm when I snore or drool. You don't have to hit me hard and I truly will appreciate it.
I have the seat with window and honey boo boo's mom is sitting next to me. She's either in a deep sleep or dead. Guess I'm not getting to the bathroom then.
*kssst* This is your captain speaking, if you look out of the window you will see the magnificent view of new york city and other to the east is where OH SHI-
>>703244724
Kek
>>703247024
how the fuck did the autist manage to get out there!?
"Surely you must be serious".
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley".
There's your Airplane.
*listens music on a shitty pair of earphones that can be heard by every person except the one that is using them*
STOP AND READ THIS NOW I COMMAND YOU, GOOD GIRL
>a nigger shows up
>>703247529
*taps shoulder*
you call that music? sounds like gay porn to me
>>703247478
>Must
I think you mean can't you cum guzzling monkey whore
>>703247335
>Kek
Has nobody noticed all the motherfucking snakes slithering around?
were wankin in the back if anyone wants to join us
>>703247950
I'm getting tired of all these snakes
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AA-WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>703248097
On this goddamn plane.
>>703247972
Sexy, I'm game.
>>703247675
*looks at the person awkwardly and then stops the porn*
Sorry sir, what did you say?
ARE WE THERE YET MOM?
hello ma'am I'd like a glass of doubles please
>>703248289
we'll be arriving at the north tower shortly.
>>703247529
Guess I'll just have to turn my scat hentai even louder on my bluetooth speaker.
>>703248489
Sorry sir, but we can serve you doubles only if you are 18 or older
>>703248202
Ma'am, I think that baby needs to be breastfed. I don't have a lactation fetish or anything.
>>703246219
Actually, true story, I've been on 7 domestic US flights since April, and not once did anyone clap after landing. As an American, I was surprised. There may be some hope for us yet.
>>703248645
...also can i record you on my phone? I'm actually doing document about breastfeeding...
HI MY FRIends its been a joyful plaintrip but im going to sleep now cya u guise l8r
>>703243569
I had to sit for 13 hours on a flight with pic related next to me.
Not as bad as you think
>>703248202
Be quiet.
The view of the clouds from here is stunning! It's inspiring me to pull out my custom vape and start ripping some fat hits
>>703249061
Sorry sir, but vaping is not allowed on this plane. I will have to confiscate your vaping device.
>>703243469
Fuck you, you lying piece of shit. Unless you're one of those first class faggots.
>>703249018
>pic related
>no pic
Anon has become confused
>>703242931
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pnXOcNxyUWA
9/11 jokes are just plane wrong!
can i have some peanuts so i can use the bag as a condom?
>>703249344
CARLOS!!
>>703249191
*stealthily takes a couple of smaller hits from the backup vape pen*
>>703243905
Dude, give me some.
>>703249440
That'll be $38.74
>>703249344
I will find you and you gonna bleed slow, fucking Carlos
>>703249227
Meant the pic in the post I was replying to
I spy with my little eye.. something beginning with S
>>703249510
Sir, did you just vape again?!
>>703244384
kek
>>703249586
That was bait friend
Silent, deadly and protracted fart.
>blames fat nieghbour.
>>703249857
As a proud whale dressed as a human i find your comment insensitive and demeaning to all whales.
>>703249545
ok sure! sounds fun
The fresh air feels so good between my sweaty toes, I'll just leave my socks to dry on the headrest of the person in front of me.
>>703249746
Oh. Oops
>>703249590
sexual assualt
>>703249647
No sir, not at all. *coughs a little puff of mountain dew and cinnamon smelling vapor*
>>703249344
Ugh. Just wait till Sunday Carlos, they'll be first class.
>>703250054
>calmly turns and looks you in the eye while holding a lit cigarette lighter to your socks.
>smile as they go up in flames
FIRE! ANON BEHIND ME STARTED A FIRE!
>>703249590
aliens!
>>703249590
Signature by the x
>>703250238
Sir, you'll need to give me all of your vapes or I'll need to report you to the police
>>703242648
am i too late for this thread?
>>703250025
Suck it.
>>703250460
Relax mate, it's just powdered jizz. We just finished up in the lavatory.
>>703244999
>>703250460
Okay, okay. Just please don't tell my mom.
>>703249590
Satan
>>703250802
Anybody else ordering this 5 feet tall statue of dog licking his balls? Damn I love skymall.
If dubs I pull a sandnigger and blow the plane up
>>703243389
It's not even mine. I found it in trash in the bathroom.
>>703249590
Syria
let me out, i'm afraid of heights
This is the pilot speaking, we're approaching our destination in 30 minutes, this has been Hugh Foric Air, thank you for choosing to fly with us.
>>703251103
Rerol
>>703249590
Some Tall slim identical towers
>the one fucking annoying child crying and screaming in the back
>>703251251
Did you say "hugh" as in hugh mungus? I'm starting to get a panic attack from all this sexism.
>>703249512
Fuck you. Medication isn't free in America. These pills cost ten dollars a piece.
>>703251679
stop being poor
get me another screwdriver bitch
Attention passengers, today's flight includes complimentary express service to your rental car pickup. Please advise the flight attendant which rental company you are using today.
THIS THREAD IS DEAD
PLANE HAS CRASHED
>>703252103
If I was poor I'd be riding the bus. Just like your mom rides my dick.
This is your Captain speaking. Brace for impact
>>703252429
HEY GUYS, LOOK AT ANON, HES SO EDGY!
Coughs in Terrorist
>>703253117
durka durka
Excuse me, flight attendant, my seat won't recline.
>>703253496
shut the fuck up and be quiet, your in the peasant class for a reason
DEAD THREAD
>>703244724
Fucking kek!
>>703254217
EJECT
Serious question: Do commercial planes not have ejection seats for the crew for ethical reasons?
>>703254522
no you stupid bastard, cause anyone could pull the eject
>>703253609
I'm in first class, the button isn't working.
>>703254723
thats the button that lowers your IQ, apparently its working sir, did you want any refreshments before you become a downie retard?
>>703255041
Yes mam may I plese have a lemomade???11?1?1??1?1 xddddddddxxd
>>703255555
sure let me piss in a dixie cup for u
>>703255692
Thanks you1111+111+++×++%1*1€!
Xdddddddddddxddddddddddxddddddd
Air Sex Society anyone?
>>703256005
Sure, thanks boss hogs
>>703256081
>>703256005
I'm tired of everyone telling me what I can't do. They tell me not to drink on the plane. They tell me not to bang on the plane. They tell me I can't be doctor. I can't be a pilot.
>>703256319
I'm Dr.Toboggan. Mantis Toboggan.
>farts
what does it happen if I use my phone without airplane mode?
Hey guys if I shoot this window will we get sucked out like snakes on a plane?
>>703242648
GUYS 9/11 WAS 15 YEARS AGO, I HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS ON THIS FLIGHT
DUBS AND ALOHA SNACKBAR
