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What dumb shit did you do, say, or believe...
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What dumb shit did you do, say, or believe in as a kid?

>be me
>first or second grade
>lunch time
>peanut butter jelly sandwiches
>cut diagonally, stacked like pic related, and wrapped in saran wrap
>halves kind of smooshed together
>figure it's just one oversized half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
>I buy 2
>sit down at lunch table
>unwrap my first "half"
>open my mouth as wide as I can and take a bite
>cont..
>>
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>>703203575
>cont
>mfw I'm working on my second "half"
>mfw lunch lady walks by, stops, and asks me what I'm doing
>mfw she explains peanut butter jelly sandwiches to me
>>
>>703203575
I cried when I first learned about death. I was watching a tv and somehow I understood and started crying. My sister tried to calm me down. I think I was 4th grade.

Didn't learn what heaven was until I was in the 10th grade haha

I don't think it's real and when you die that's the end.
>>
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>>703203575

I thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows.

That laughing gas really made you laugh uncontrollably.

I also once went down a hill really fast on a scooter and tried to jump on a homemade ramp (ie a board loosely balanced on like a brick or something) and ate shit on the pavement.
>>
>>703203575
>Peanut butter jelly.
>Jelly.
It's fucking JAM.
>>
>>703205070
Aw. Geographic argument. Fascinating.
>>
>>703204771
Me too. Felt like someone was about to drop me off a cliff and I couldn't do anything in a way. If I remember correctly.
>>
>>703205070
Jam is different nigger
>>
>>703204925
And then you find out nitrous makes you uncontrollably retarded. Wawa.
>>
I used to talk too much when I was 4. My dad told me
>You have only a fixed amount of words to speak during your whole life. You are soon going to run out of them
I didn't say a word the next three days.
>>
>>703203575
these were the best pb&j's man. slightly chilled and shit tons of pb and j
>>
>>703205070
Its jelly. Galantis says so.
>>
>>703205365
Jam is different. But the two are called one another depending where you are and how much people care.
>>
>>703204771
>I don't think it's real and when you die that's the end.

Very few people will join into religion if not introduced as kids.
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>>703205070
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jScuYd3_xdQ
>>
>>703204925
I also went really fast down a hill on my scooter but it resulted in me breaking my tibia and fibula
>>
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>>703203575
I believed that sex with a female could literally kill you!
I was a young elementary school lad in watching the nature channel (shark stuff just went off, it was awesome). When an doc on spiders came on, I was kinda zoning out but remembered something about how each time a male has sex with a female there is a high chance of death. I laughed to myself thinking how dumb my dad must be to have 4 kids 4 fucking kids and risk death like that. I believed that from ages 7 to 9

>>703204771
I had a goddamn panic attack and my grandparents almost had me rushed to the hospital when I finally realized what death meant, and the final nail in the coffin about how their really is "no fucking escape" because it happens to all living things! No matter what people told me or how they tried to help, I couldn't believe in the concept of heaven, I fucking wish their was one but its just far too implausible. I think its the end off all things too, the soul "if it exist" doesn't do anything anyway, its the brain that allows you to perceive, act, and react to stimuli anyway.

I only stopped having panic attacks about it 2 years ago, and I still need to find some alone time, work out & listen to some good music every once in a while to deal with this impending doom looming overhead. Fuck if I'm gonna let this shit happen tho, or let anyone IRL ever know about this shit!
>>
>>703205794
Used to ride down the hills in Berkeley. Sitting though, I was 10. Used to do it every day. From the hill top down to campus.
>>
>>703205813
It's the concept of infinity and realizing life is finite. It's like looking into a gaping maw.
>>
>>703205640
Yep. I'm 25 now and all my family is religious except and and my younger bro.

It's kinda makes me mad because wtf do they except that they were to lazy to teach us so now I argue about things sometimes just to see how family reacts.

I don't do it to my grandma though because she is to nice haha

Plus I feel like people who belive might be a little less intelligent yet I know there are probably smarter people than me that do belive. Isn't it weird man.
>>
>>703206102
It depends on how close to cashing in you are. And whether or not you can accept and be happy with death. Existentialism says that we spend our lives looking for a happy death. Some anyway.
>>
>>703204925
Laughing gas does make you laugh uncontrollably though, if you do it while watching funny shit.

Apparently when I got given laughing gas at the dentist as a kid I started singing. Which didn't go well with all the pointy things in my mouth.
>>
>>703205813
>>703206299
I'd be happy with death right now. The only thing I would miss at the moment is food and sex.

I know it's not the right thing to be okay with but I have a hard time picturing my future.

I'm not suicidal or anything just kinda have a negative viewpoint on most things.

The medicine I take doesn't really help with that just makes me feel more okay with a bleh future.

I really miss smoking weed that always made me feel better haha
>>
i told both my sons when they were young kebab meat came from elephant legs and they belived me for years.

im a shit dad.
>>
>>703206102

I appreciate you not fucking with your nana. People that can't curtail their antireligious feelings and can't tell who its appropriate to argue with are the worst.
>>
>>703206299
My family is religious and they raised me as such but when I was around 12 I realised that I was ok with death, and would rather put the imperfect life I know I have to good use rather than waste it in church for a perfect afterlife that I might have
>>
>>703206068
Yeah, this is why I don't let petty little shit on this earth get me down like so many others. They are looking around crying about ants and some giants, and all I can see rows of teeth completely lining the sky and all I can do is watch it happen to me.

But oh fucking well

ha, you'd think this might be a problem that humanity would spare no expense to remedy.
>>
>>703204771
>I think I was 4th grade.
Wtf?
Aren't you like 10 or so in 4th grade?
>>
>>703206617
It's alright. I feel the same. I'd miss those things, but the world have me a lot. I could happily die right now, just based on that and knowing my child is healthy. And it's hard as shit to come to terms with the idea of leaving that to chance. But it worked out okay for me.
>>
>>703203575
>be me
>about 6
>read in book about siphon effect
>now terrified that if i drink anything whilst taking a piss, entire bodily fluid content will drain out of dick
>>
>>703203575
>Under 5 years old
>Thought when I grew up and 'used' my balls they's be used up and disappear

Also,

>2nd grade
>First time I had a hot teacher
>Actually started to believe I was gonna get to fuck her one day
>Was not alone
>All the boys in class thought we had a chance
>Obviously nobody scored
>None of us could even get usable boners yet
>>
>>703207140
Being a kid was the best. This kind of fear just made you feel twice as good when you realized, it was going to be alright.
>>
>>703207115
Your point?
>>
>>703203575
I thought you got girls pregnant by cumming in a glass and making them drink it and the baby formed literally in their stomachs and got shat out
>>
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>>703203575
triggered. why the fuck is there 2 pieces of bread in the middle?!? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>703207115
I was this young when it hit me. That and holiday figures. That one felt like ice water. Also, I was pissed.
>>
>>703206782
topzozzle
>>
>>703206617
I don't think I'll ever be happy with death. I just hate the thought of no longer being sentient, to not be able to ponder concepts or construct ideas. I could just be a thinking consciousness floating through time and that would be fine with me but even death robs me of that. I love everything, all things and people, I just want to enjoy an everyday life for the rest of eternity. I don't want to die, I don't want to watch people I love die, I don't want any people to die at all, but its just not how things are.

"if wishes were horses"
>>
>>703203727
? what's there to explain? u eat them and what?
>>
>>703207447
That you're a retarded faggot.
>>
>>703207472
its two halves of a sandwich you autistic fuck
>>
>>703207693
IT SEEM NECESSARY TO EXPLAIN THAT EATING PRODUCE POOS
>>
My big brother told me how the US can draft me into the army when I turn 18. I started crying like a bitch. Was 6 at the time.
>>
>>703207671
I died, and was in a coma. Can't be sure, but what I saw wasn't anything like Heaven or Hell. Just overwhelmed with people or souls. Couldn't contain them or move them fast enough. Can't say it wasn't a dream, but I had no brain electricity for this. I guess I'll find out.
>>
>>703207671
>>703207726
How so?
>>
For my entire life up until earlier this year I believed several meant seven.
I am incredibly ashamed of this for whatever unknown reason
>>
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>>703207352
>when you realized, it was going to be alright.
It was the fucking best, specially after something that seems so trial after being so serious.
>>
>>703207747
so she worried that his shit might destroy the toilet or what?
>>
>>703207743
did you just assume my mental identity? well i'll be a double nigger's uncle
>>
>>703207447
This anon >>703207726 wasn't me but he basically got it.
>>
>>703203575
I'm really dumb, so I'm not sure I understand.
>>
>>703205070
Jelly is literally a translucent jelly. As in "Jellied fruit preserves".

Jam is a thicker, pureed fruit preserve.

Next thing you know you'll be telling me Soccer is called football.
>>
Troll friend of my dad's told me that eating the shells of peanuts made you strong. Ate that bitter shit up until I was 16, thought about it and said "wait a sec, fuck this".
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>>703207965
you should be
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I once tried to mail my friend toys in an envelope
I stuffed like 3 action figures in an envelope and wrote "to josh" on it and put it in the mailbox
Mail lady comlained and my mom loled
So I just walked to his house and put it in their mailbox
They were just as confused
>>
>>703208132
This.
>>
>>703208041
>>703208041
Okay so like I said my family didn't teach me religion. I didn't have the internet at age 10 and they didn't teach death in school so yeah I'm supposed to go down to the library and check out a book about death??

The fuck
>>
>>703208334
It tends to be way better tasting especially in small batches. Wow, I went right off the fucking track with you.
>>
I didn't believe in leap years. I thought it was obvious that, when a year was really about 6 hours longer than 365 days, the next year would would start at 6am.
>>
>>703208292
I recall someone asking me how many several was and I just kept on repeating seven and became infuriated when they didn't believe me
>>
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>>703208132
Brits have no right to tell anyone anything about calling it football, since Brits themselves invented the term Soccer in the late 1800s. Short for asSOCiation football.

Also, soccer should be called handegg, not american football; zero percent of egg-laying species produce oblate spheroid shaped eggs, while thousands of bird, amphibian and reptile species lay round eggs. A kicker starts an NFL game with his FOOT. A punter kicks to the other team as well. That's 2 positions dedicated to kicking, and only 1 dedicated to passing. Meanwhile, in soccer, a goalie uses his hands constantly. Players use body parts that aren't feet like elbows, knees, head, chest.

checkmate, agnostics
>>
>>703208459
Some of these time rules were added as a matter of business. Oddly. And most cultures got it wrong. Took a long time to do things like reliably track the moons patterns.
>>
>>703203575
I thought you came a back to life after you died.
One of my dad's aunts passed, but I always says heard stories about her, likee they just happened, so I figured she was alive.

I didn't understand death until my dog died.

I also thought that you could get women prego through the asshole or the vagina. That was mostly due to discovering my friends older brothers hentai.

Trunks fucked Bulma in the ass and got prego.
>>
>>703207852
>>703207863

I also died as a kid, "bee allergy" stung in the neck.
I was clinically dead for short while, I stabilized an didn't remember anything, I didn't see anything, no dream, no thought. It felt so different from waking up from a normal sleep.

I was the first time I can "remember not dreaming" if that makes any sense.

every-time I don't dream then wake up its a reminder.

Dreaming is rare now.
>>
When I was a wee lad I had a crippling fear of pooping. I would just hold it as long as possible until I exploded, Like a ticking turd bomb. In kindergarten I would just stop, stand in place and just let loose. It became such an ongoing problem that I wasn't allowed in the classroom without a diaper. I was that kid. Didn't overcome this until like 2nd grade
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>>703208606
peace be with you
>>
>>703205609
Underrated post
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>>703205433
The fuck, my dad said the same
>>
>>703208459
I still have a problem with the nomenclature.

Shouldn't all of the other years be leap years? Those are the years that we leap over the last few days of February.
>>
>>703208756
Your sleeping well, it would seem.
>>
The raisins in Raisin Bran are crab eyes.
Can't eat till this day
>>
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>>703208839
no wonder you never told about the bad touching
>>
To get me to stand up when i peed my dad told me that if you sat down when you peed long enough your privates would shrink and fall off

Believe it or not i believed him until i was around 12 when i started sitting down to pee on purpose to become a hot girl

after like a week of doing it and no results i told my dad that it wasn't working and asked what i was doing wrong. he just kind of made this face at me like he smelled something really bad and then told me to go to my room because he had to talk to my mom about something
>>
>>703205433
Kek, gotta remember that if I ever have kids
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>>703203575
> Santa Claus
> tooth fairy
> God
> government
> humanity
>>
>>703205640
Or do lots of drugs, get too close to dying and come out retarted
>>
>>703208760
Charles from Morgan?
>>
>>703203575
i thought I could go to a special science complex and exchange my dna to that of a dolphin and that would make me one. i think I played too much ecco on the megadrive.
its a fukken miracle i didnt turn into a furry
>>
>>703208846
>Few days
Just one anon. February has less days because Romans kept taking days out of February to stick them into more important months o they could last a day longer, then leap year was found out and they said where the fuck do we put this extra day every four years,
>le put it in February because nobody gives a fuck
>>
>>703208989
Kek, posts pics of your wee wee.
>>
>>703208989
Kek. I think he was aiming for the opposite. Parents and expectation are a self fulfilling disappointment. Sometimes. But at least you find it funny.
>>
>>703209041
>God
you only capitalize it if you are religious and have a specific one in mind when you talk about it, otherwise it's just a concept referring to any supreme being, and is not a proper noun. It's not as if it's a real title anyone has ever held.
>>
>>703209202
Let's** not le
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>>703209041
this
>>703209041
>>
>>703209041
It is the intelligent human play list. For most.
>>
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>>703208891
one day at a time
>>
>>703207671
anon, do you feel sad about not being concious before you were born? Then why feel bad when you'll fade back to black? Everything dies, feeling bad about it is like feeling bad about gravity, or wanting to stick it in a pooper
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>tfw i knew pretended to think santa was real for years to get the extra presents
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>>703209300
His family may of been Christian, etc, and he believed in God for awhile, ya dingus.
>>
>>703206782
sound like a cool dad to me m8
>>
>>703208606
>>elbows
guess again
>>
>>703209575
And the truth is, you probably won't have any idea it's about to happen, or even remember when it did. Makes you realize a lot if you survive it. Some people get, well unlucky and have to live through the fade out. Some get to live with intention right up until the moment of death, and don't even realize their dead until it's too late. I was the latter.
>>
>be 13
>thought Nigger was a derogatory word for Jews
>>
my dad told me if you kill yourself you go to hell because everyones life has purpose and by becoming an hero your going against gods plan

it really freaked me out as a kid to think about all the individual children who killed themselves from being bullied that were getting burned in hell
>>
>>703208606
Prolate*
Fucking mong.
>>
>>703209141
Greg from Horsham
>>
>>703208760
My son was like that, but before he went to school. Reason? I yelled at him once when he took a shit somewhere when he was being potty-trained, I forget where. So he wouldn't go anymore until it hurt so bad he couldn't hold it. Got over it in a few months...
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>>703209888
Checked
>>
>>703205614
No, they are different. Jam is coarsely processed fruit, whereas jelly the fruit is cooked and the juice extracted, sugar added. Thats why jelly is translucent and jam has fruit it it.

Oldfag here, used to live in Upper Peninsula Michigan, lots of wild fruit, mom used to make jelly from unedible small fruit like pincherries and chokeberries, these fruit were too small to eat, but if you cooked them and extracted the juice, you could make jelly out of them.
>>
>>703209545
I think Mr. Brooks changed the serenity prayer for me permanently.
>>
>>703210159
Loved Burt Lake. Used to teach sailing there. Outside Petosky. Also, Petosky stones were fascinating to find and polish.
>>
>>703209888
Nigger isnt limited to just Dindus.

Its believed the original definition for it was "An ignorant unwanted person." So, it could be used for people other than bicycle thiefs.
>>
>about 5
>Watching Ricky lake
>Some land whale complaining about men
>"Men are dogs, and dogs are crap"
>I think that puppies came from crap
>Next time doing a shit, after the main event poop a little on toilet paper
>Run it under the sink, hoping to reveal a little puppy
>Dad walks in
>Asks what the hell I'm doing
>Realise this is fucking stupid
>Tell him that "my sister told me to do it"
>It's a whole thing
>Ended up in counseling
>>
>>703209791
but you're still here among the living, hence your perception of your "death". If you forfeit that, the ability to compare existence and not-existence, what is there left to fear?
existence is a capricious mistress, you didn't ask for it, and it will be taken from you at random. Hurray I guess?
>>
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>>703210422
>>
>>703207115

it depends on how many years of fourth grade you have to do...
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>>703210422
Oh no. Fecal smearia parental diagnoses. Kek.
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>>703206102
People who believe are indeed considerably less intelligent than atheists.
Here's a scientific study that proves it.
http://psr.sagepub.com/content/early/2013/08/02/1088868313497266.abstract
>>
>Watched a Jason movie
>Went camping a week later
>Didn't sleep because every sound was a murderer
I still hate camping, but for the reason of being a NEET now.
>>
>>703210421
Thieves*
Nigger.
>>
>>703210696
Massa neva teached me how to right good
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>>703205070
>not knowing the difference
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>>703210629
kek
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>>703209575
>anon, do you feel sad about not being concious before you were born?
No, because at that time, their was no solid concept of me, who I was had yet to be perceived by my own mind

>>703209791
>And the truth is, you probably won't have any idea it's about to happen, or even remember when it did

I know, but I try not to let it get to me.
It won't stop me from attempting to live my ideal life, at least for now. I don't really know what else I can do but keep it suppressed since after 22 years of trying to ignore it (realized first when I was 8, from a book report project)


All I can do it keep on trucking till the gas runs out.
Kinda hoping on medical science tho, thats one of the things that keeps me calm even if its just fiction.
>>
>>703204925
>>703205794
Hi anon(s), I also went down a hill as a kid, but I busted my head open because there was a dumpster full of glass
>>
>>703206782
I actually thought they were Elephant Legs for a while when I was small.
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>>703205813
I think people really misunderstand the concept of the soul.. As in, "the soul "if it exist" doesn't do anything anyway, its the brain that allows you to perceive, act, and react to stimuli anyway." See you have to consider the actual implications of consciousness when looked at in the context of uncertainty. As in, what is the nature of observation and just how much does it create the world around me? The way I see it consciousness is a vital energy for the universe to percieve itself and verify the information, localizing it at this level for us, and everything else inbetween bigger or smaller in more ways that we can hope to process, consciousness is required to collapse the wave function and bring about a stable, concrete perception. This makes me really feel like consciousness itself is a fundamental aspect of this 'universe' or 'existence' and as such has to manifest itself in one way or another to maintain the balance holding everything in place. It really feels like such a delicate system, and I just really can't imagine there is nothing in store for us after this, i dont believe in heaven or hell or even that we will remember anything about our time here, but the vital archetype that makes up our ability to percieve doesnt just disappear, we all share in this process and draw from the potential in unrefined, un-localized conscious thought. I think this is what people confuse the 'soul' with, and it could easily be looked at in terms of the Hindu Atman/Brahman dichotomy if you detach from the rest of the belief system. Suffice to say, I really just dont think 'everything ends' because this that I am considering 'myself', the fact that I even have manifested at all tells me there is more going on behind the scenes related to consciousness and whatnot, and while our individual personality dies with us, the far more important energy to back that personality seems, from my studies, much too integral to ever really just 'die'...

That is all for now..
>>
>>703210381

Yes, to me, petosky stones was something mythical like finding a gold nugget. We lived at Kincheloe (Kinross). Probably the most fun I've ever had (or will) Just a lot of good times in the wilderness.
>>
>>703211049
They do look like them on the rotisserie for cutting, certain meats more than others.
>>
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>>703210982
>going down a big hill for the first time, super hyped
>that feeling of having made a grave mistake when you're going too fast
>>
>>703207852
You died but only a bit of your brain did.
>>
>be me
>believe in a talking snake, magic apples, a boat made out of wood that could hold two of each of countless millions of species, zombies, witches and an invisible superman in the sky who wants me to cut my winkie
>be 46 years old
>>
>>703211200

Dude, you've used up your word allowance for this life, please report to the Soylent Green processing station at once.
>>
>>703211224
It's so beautiful up there. I remember the stars being like a planetarium. Being able to lie under the stars and have NO light pollution or very little. Nothing like it, since the UP area.
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>>703211200
Thats a lot of text anon
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>>703211289
More than likely. It was oretty interesting though. Had some very well thought out scenarios in it. But again, the subconscious can for anything if we let it.
>>
>>703211378

Yes, claiming a huge oak or maple tree as a "fort", but the forests were so vast you usually didnt see anyone else for weeks.
>>
>>703211200
>while our individual personality dies with us

Call me selfish but this is the only part I care about, the only part I want to exist sentient forever.
>>
>>703208846
You don't cut the day out of others. It's because a year is actually 365 1/4 days so the extra day is so the year doesn't slowly get out of wack
>>
>>703211277 that was most likely mfw my head was busted and so is my shoulder
>>
>>703211562
Something incredibly awesome about that. We used to walk for hours and end up where we started. It's a special place. And I've lived on both coasts and the Midwest. Only place with similar energy was Putney, Vt. But not nearly as unspoiled.
>>
>>703211778
I didn't say anything about cutting any days out, or not knowing why it happens.

I pointed out that we call the ones in which we don't actually do any leaping "leap years".
>>
>>703211815
You might have been lucky. A friend of mine had to have a position of his brain removed after a head injury with no helmet. Had to learn how to speak again and ended up with seizures. One fall, off a longboard.
>>
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>>703203575
babies come out butt, and girls pee out butt
>>
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>>703211428
I'm surprised
Ive never legitimately hit the word limit before, lol.
>>703211574
In the end, its inconsequential, really. You are no more or less real now than you will be after you die. What even is time? Consider that after death linear time ceases to be a limitation. That which happened can never un-happen. Maybe its the few near-death experiences I have had, but I think people really need to learn to abstract this kinda stuff far more.. Its not like this reality is simple or anything..
>>
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>If I acted nice, niceness would come back around to me eventually, like good Karma

Then realized people would rather be mean because niceness is thought of as a sign of weakness, its easier to be mean and indifferent than warm and nurturing, because then you would have to show you inner insecurities as well. Society has made sharing these things deemed as weak or pathetic.

>girls grow out of their childish ways after they get older

Then I realized than a womans mentality never really out grows the age 15 or 16, the only difference is they become legal age at some point and learn to use their childish bullshit to manipulate in other ways. Iv seen my own 78 year old grandmother do some petty as fuck shit to my grandpa, its as if she were a ten year old.

So, i realize as men, we are left to stoop to their games if we want to mate, or else fuck dudes or barnyard animals. ( the latter seems almost appealing )

>school would make sure you get a good job.

The biggest lie in recent centuries. I realize it was mostly a ploy for parents to get rid of their kids long enough in the day to keep their sanity, and do chores and shit, and its also was an opportunity for the government to tax and make more money.

My high school degree doesn't do shit, used to think it would give you a leg up, it doesnt.

The only way to get a job these days is for someone you know to hook you up with a favor.

Its all about who you know now.

>Its going to be great when i get older, parties, girls, alcohol.

Then i realized, around 26 years old, that you get sad and miss the days of childhood, thinking thoughts you have never thought before, first experiences, a genuine sense of wonder, staying up all night with you bro's playing Final Fantasy 9 and not having a care in the world for booze, and drugs.

Now all i care about is trying to find a place to relax, trying to get away from these things that i hate, not being able to sit down and focus on a hobby because some thing is in way
>>
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>>703210949
fuck you asshole
>>
>>703212282
Piss off with your pseudo-intellectual philosophical bullshit.
>>
>>703211825
Yeah if it wasn't for the lack of jobs, I'd move back.

Unrelated, mom always warned us not to eat any fruit without letting her see it first. me and the kid across the street were walking home from kindergarten and came across a raspberry bush. we started picking them and he started eating them. Hey, you aren't supposed to do that, I started eating some. I guess they weren't ripe, I got home and puked from the frony door to the upstairs bathroom. Mom was angry, made me go to bed while they went picking strawberries.

To this day, I dislike raspberries with a passion, lol.
>>
>>703212282
If my death experience was at all accurate, it is about where, and for how long our souls are kept, and who has say. Whether we are dead or dying, and what is chosen for us. Like we die only to find ourselves unable to choose where we go at first. It's a matter of when, how, and what you accept.
>>
>>703212150
Well you said something about leaping over the final days of February. Which implies we remove them each year. It's a leap year because the year "leaps forward" in the form of another day to make up for the lost time.
>>
>>703212345

are you euphoric?
>>
>>703203575
>Be me
>9 years old, 4th Grade
>Currently in advanced class for smart kids
>about 10 kids
>I love Super Mario Hyadain
>Also huge weeb at the time
>Also ran with my arms out like Blaziken or Naruto but thats other story
>Stood up in front of class
>Sang Super Mario Hyadain
>Tried so hard to sing slurred, fake japanese
>Didn't know half the lyrics
>when I was done, teacher asked me what it meant
>Couldn't answer it because it didnt rhyme in English

I have other cringe stories, too
>>
There was no sexual education in my third world shithole country. So when i hit puberty and started wacking it to Britney Spears on mtv channel, i was constantly thinking - shit, if i do this for like 10 more times i will definitely run out of jizz and will never be able to have children in ny life lol.
>>
>Be me
>year 2002
>9 years old.
>see full moon.
>believed it was a reflection of the earth.
>>
Though you ran the risk of getting AIDS/HIV from having sex period. Like, even if the person you were fucking didn't have it, it sometimes just happened because of the wrong mix of DNA or something.... unless of course condoms.
>>
>>703212345

>"a woman's mentality never really out grows the age of 15 or 16"
>wants to stay up all night playing Final Fantasy 9
>>
>>703211825

The only thing I disliked was shoveling snow morning AND night, lol
>>
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>>703212518
>>
>>703203575
that the earth was a globe.
>>
>>703212842
This, is true. Or seeing tha walls of snow on the sides of the road during weather reports. Those winters, and even the thunder storms in A squared are something else.
>>
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>>703212548
There are alot of different types of NDE, but I do know what you mean. I just dont think this is the best place to get into it.. Really fascinating stuff, though.
http://www.near-death.com/
I'll take my leave now.
>>
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuZXMbX-2w

This is Super Mario Hyadain
>>
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>>703212282
>Its not like this reality is simple or anything
What its mad simple, science and logic tells us all we need to know. It doesn't tell us all we want to know, yet. I get it, I understand the spiritual separated-self looseness that is phantasmagoria perception. I've delved so far down that whole I feel like I've traveled light years into the core of it. The problem is when I look up I still see daylight and everything is the same. It brings me no comfort, it doesn't even allow me to alter the way I think although I believe I can fully comprehend the path and how to transverse it. In the end I'm still stuck-fast mentally and emotionally on the subject even if I felt like I've moved.
>>
We believe wholehearted that the things our parents or the people raising us tell us are carved in stone, sometimes. It becomes really upsetting when others question, or prove our Guardians wrong, and they're right. It hurts us for some reason when we're kids.
>>
>>703212864
Great comeback!
>>
>>703213042

Yeah, the snow was piled up 10 ft high and walking to school and you'd see that snow blower with the blue rotary light, you'd have to run as you didn't know if the operator could see you and there was no place to get out of the way. You learned a lot being in kindergarten and making your way to school and surviving, lol.
>>
>>703213395
And then you run across a lawn and break through the ice. Only to sink up to your waist in snow. I've gotten stuck up to my armpits in Putney.
>>
>>703213510

Because of that we couldn't cut between the houses, dad was afraid that we get trapped in the snow because of the depth and that's why we ended up on the walking and running from the snow plows and snow blowers
>>
>>703212822
you missed the point, Its not that i want, or even could play video games like i used to,

Its that i miss the ability to enjoy something again like that with no fucks to give to the world.

moron.
>>
>>703205431
No it just makes you faster
>>
>>703213814
That and the ice sliding off of roofs. I remember my friends Dad pushing him out of the way and getting clocked with a huge price of ice. Sent him right to the hospital.
>>
>>703213937
Sometimes : ) can't say the same about some things tho. Like poppers. Pac man with your brain cells.
>>
I didnt know babies came from vaginas. I thought they just erupted from the stomach tearing open a hole
>>
>>703214005
we used to collect the icicles, the basement extended up about three feet or so and icicles would collect, we used to see who could get the biggest one. I guess I never thought about the snow and ice falling off the roof, lol
>>
>>703208747
Not sure why but your story reminded me of when my grandmother died and I still kept seeing Facebook updates from her, creeped me out till I realized that I have 2 relatives with the same name (One was Cathy the other was Kathy, same last name), and I was just seeing the other, living one's status updates. Their pictures even looked almost identical, freaked me the fuck out for a while.
>>
>>703212801
This would be pretty scary to believe. Like its Russian roulette no matter what. Become a Catholic priest, kind of fear.
>>
>>703214327
It was some resort up north. Went with a class. All the buildings had big drastic angles on the roof, so most people stayed clear, but one of the kids was just in the wrong place and time. It probably would have done him a lot more harm than an adult.
>>
>>703203575
Thank you OP. Miss being able to assume dumb things without knowing for a fact that they are a fallacy. It was like exploring every single day.
>>
>>703213395

The memory of this coming down the street was sort of like in home alone, where the kid was scared of the furnace in the basement as being haunted, thats the image I had of this making its way down the street
>>
>>703207743
[irony] lost on you [/irony]
>>
>>703215006

And having to walk on the street at six to school with the snow piled up ten feet high on either side with this groaning behind you as this made a terrible racket
>>
>>703215006
It's like street cleaners. But way more Mad Max. They were intimidating.
>>
>>703215285
I forgot about that(!)
>>
>>703212822
You missed the point.
>>
>>703215306
They moved fast, I always wondered if the guy operating it would floor it to get a scare out of you, lol
>>
>>703203575
I used to think that traffic signals were memorials to children killed at that location. In kindergarten, a classmate was killed trying to visit me. The next fall, a stop light was installed. I saw a connection. Afterward, I remember resting my head against the car window just to look up at nothing other than all the traffic lights downtown, thinking "some kid died here".
>>
I just remember having emotions that were so much more intense. Being offended was something intense. It's amazing how jaded we get from repetition. From being desensitized. I feel like some times, I lack the ability to feel sometimes. Like it was taken from me along with some of these beliefs.
>>
>>703203575
My mom told me sausages were octopus legs.
>>
>>703215417

The snow plows would move faster, they had a yellow beacon, but wern't as scary
>>
>>703215996
They were the savior so to speak. Also, they made it so school happened, so it was a love hate relationship.
>>
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>>703205640
>yfw adults are too stubborn to admit that their worldview might be flawed and that something outside of themselves has a strong potential to exist
>>
>>703214441
Fuck yeah exactly
>>
god
>>
>>703216121

xcept when you got done shovelling the driveway and it would push three feet of rock hard ice and snow and block off the entrance and you'd have to go out and shovel it clear so dad could go to work
>>
>>703216479
Oh god. I remember that. And it would often be so much harder because of the plow. Like a wall made of oil, ice and rocks.
>>
>>703216121

yes, at night we would run to the window to watch them roar by
>>
>>703216616

yep, lol
>>
I used to be really afraid of getting cuts and shit because I thought that if I lost blood I would never get it back, and all that blood that was in my body now was all I would ever have.
>>
>>703203575
When I was In kindergarten the teacher said we were having our first fire drill but I thought it was going to be a real fire in the building so I started bawling my eyes out. lmao
>>
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>>703203575
>Pokemon are real, as evidenced by the amount of animals in the world
>Fat black women are the epitome of femininity
>Being gay is bad
>Mortal Kombat is Chinese history
>Women can't be gay
>Math and Science aren't that important
>We're just living in a bit shoe box, and the stars in the night sky are holes in the box roof
>Websites can teach us how to do DBZ moves irl
>I should stay in regular contact with my biological dad's side of the family
>Christianity and the Bible
>Satan was a real person/thing
>The Mushroom Kingdom really exists, but you have to go to the sewers to find it
>Y2K
>Kirby is real
>France, Germany, and England are all great friends
>The USSR still exists
>China and Japan are the same
>Korea and Vietnam are the same
>I'm 'broken' because I don't like sports and prefer to watch anime
>If you don't have a girlfriend, you're gay by default
>Being an adult is going to be easy as shit
>I'm going to be able to live off of a cake, pizza, ice cream, and candy diet
>>
>>703216705
The thunder storms, how the drains in my house would screech from the pressure dropping. And the thunder was so intense as to be house rattling powerful. But the green sky and the drains sucking, was otherworldly.
>>
Was anyone else as a kid told mountain dew made your dick smaller so you never had mountain dew again? shit happened to me in high school, havent touched the shit ever again.
>>
>>703203575
compromised a network of 200 pcs with a porn virus
>>
>>703203575
God.
>>
>>703216834
Kek. Awesome list.
>>
>>703216883

Yeah, I remember. And how peacefully quiet when it was snowing outside
>>
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>>703217161
>>
>>703217001
I was told it made your balls smaller. So, sort of. But I believed it.
>>
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>>703216834
>big shoe box**
>>
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>>703203575
When I was a kid I read a book on multiple asian countries with their religion and stuff.
The weird thing is I just couldn't understand why they didn't band together since they were the same .
I was even asked my mom something like
>why doesn't china combine with Japan?
>>
>>703207468
I thought you had to pee in them...
>>
>be me never liked eggs
>live life up until 18 w/o any worries
>order an omelette on easter
>ask to hold the eggs
>ask to hold the eggs

that infamous day i found out omelettes weren't tortillas.
>>
I was 8 and was going door to sell stamps for school charity, and this old guy answers the door and agrees to buy, then randomly tells me he was a soldier in WW2.
Dumbass me asked him if he killed people.


As a kid it seemed a normal question to me, but today I cringe and wish I could turn back time. I also realize that the poor man must've been really really lonely to tell a small kid that.
>>
>>703217751
It seems so obvious when we're kids. The idea that people should work together. It may be better to have no concept of stupid bias. But it gets ingrained in
People. It's fascinating, to kids I think. Why can't they just get along? It seems simple to the young.
>>
5 or 6 years old my dad told me that if a white guy has a baby with a black woman that the baby would die. Believed that till I was 14

Be under 4 my dad told me that I ran so fast that sparks came off my shoes

6-7 my brother told me that marmite is made by old guys sticking tar up their nose and sneezing it out into a jar
>>
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>>703217880
>lived until 18 without knowing how omelettes are made
Do you live in Chad?
>>
>>703218033
Parents are having a laugh at our expense some times it would seem. Or just trying to get somthing thing out of us that they desire.
>>
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>>703217001
I was told it killed your sperm

>mfw I still believed it wholeheartedly at 17
>mfw I would drink a shit ton of mountain dew before seckz with my grillfiend
>mfw I'm a dad now
>>
>>703218335
What is it? "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
>>
Nah black people are fine. Then I got older and realized like 90% of them are terrible, loud, and annoying and also closet racists. It's as if their bad habits and bigotry rubbed off on me. Because I legitimately know 4 or 5 good dudes who are black, and 1 girl who is black that are cool people. The rest that I know (I live in a 50-50 racial place there's about as many whites as there are blacks) are fucking terrible. I know hardly any whites that are racist yet the black people secretly despise us. And I'm a really nice guy to just about everyone I meet.
>>
>>703218429
Kek.
>>
>>703218599
It's a conundrum. It becomes more set in stone as time progresses, and more people pass it on to their kids. Like genetic memory of it exists, it becomes impossible to disbelieve.
>>
>>703203575
I used to believe that Government was the solution to everything.

>Be 90's, not enough internet, Govt. should enact an internet tax to finance internet for everyone.

I know how silly that is nowadays.
>>
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>Used to think my parents and elders knew everything and I could always rely on them for help and advice.

Then I realized that my folks were young parents and fucked up many many times along the way.

They are people just like you and me going through trial and error, with their own insecurities and problems.

That maturity isnt a magical breakthrough, its just learning how to fake not being insane in public.

Because when we all get home, we all do stupid immature shit.

Nobody ever really matures, its just an abstract idea.

im 31 and me and my fiance still have farting contests at home, sometimes we smoke pot and laugh like baboons at cartoons.

Sometimes...I pretend im buying cool action figures for my nephew, but instead i keep them and play with them when no one is looking.
>>
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>>703218033
Based dad warns you not to racemix
>>
>One day, as long as I don't do drugs or be a bad person, I can become a Power Ranger, too.
>>
>>703219021
Not letting your childhood die, is a noble cause.
>>
>>703218177
nope the u s of a. i just never liked eggs and finally was like well i gotta see why everyone likes omelettes. i thought they were a quesadilla with eggs
>>
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>>703218599
>>703218950


Its like black people see that we are moving on from racism and miss the attention, so then they try to make reasons for us to be racists.

The majority of them really havent evolved passed this selfish nature that they share with most primates.

its sad but true.
>>
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>>703219224
Beaner hopper detected
>>
>>703219214
You dont do anything childish when no one is around?

Surely you jerk off to porn still.
>>
>>703219290
People can't take bad experiences from us. It's a sign of intelligence, to learn from your mistakes. It's just really subjective. We can't say someone is wrong if they have a real experience and they change because of it. It would be illogical, and impossible in many ways.
>>
>>703219539
No, I mean, it's okay to still be a kid inside. Not letting your ability to think as a child remain is a good thing almost always. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
>>
>>703204771
>I cried when I first learned about death.
>4th grade.
wut
>>
>>703219766
I said that wrong again. Shit.
>>
I believed happiness was real and everything would be fine.
>>
>>703219867
thats alright, i understand what you mean bro.
>>
>>703219867
Seems like people who give in to logic always end up way more depressed. Where as people who don't know any better can remain happier regardless. I still think I need my logic, but the creativity and brilliance of being a kid is partially reliant on not knowing everything. The assumption that you have all the answers is self defeating, and so many adults seem to accept this as fact. I know it all, so there can't be anything fanciful or out there. It's just kind of depressing really.
>>
>>703220385
I miss that excitement I used to get when I got a new Action Figure. A new Comic Book. It was joy, and excitement. All rolled up into a package. It was never as great as the anticipation, actiually having it. But all around it was a much richer experience.
>>
>>703215006
You guys are making me jealous
>>
>>703203575
>used to think freddy kruger was real and would cut me in half from the bottom up, so i would sleep with a pile of stuffed animals between my legs
>heard older kids talking about crabs and thought it was a sickness where people would grow literal crab claws out of their stomachs
>have always had terrible OCD, but as a kid it was out of control would close a door 30 times etc or something bad would happen
>the movie the truman show fucked me up and i use to think there were hidden cameras everywhere
>thought i should save my virginity for the girl i wanted to marry (that didnt work out). more of a late adolescence/early adulthood but still worth mentioning
>>
>>703205431
Whipped cream man.
>>
>>703205070
>he thinks jelly, jam, and preservatives are all the same thing
>>
>>703207852
that's just your brain fucking with you(atleast i believe so)
>>
>>703208357
do you think they teach death in school now or what?you truly are a moron that you havent figured this out by ten
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