After telling my gf my fetish she has been acting more and more uncomfortable and when we have sex i don't even bring it up because I know just asking will prompt her to ask for a breakup
How do i brush this whole situation under the rug and rebuild our relationship?
Guys the fetish isn't very important or relevant. Please just tell me how i can bring back our relationship to what it was before
Ok since all you faggots have tunnel vision, my fetish is juggling farts. I asked her if me and her could connect our assholes with a tube and fart and toss each others farts back and forth. The warmth of a fart arouses me.
I asked her if she wanted to just try it and she refused and is now acting really uncomfortable around me, now please tell me how to get the girl i love back
goobye sides, we had a good run
This cant be real....This just cant be real
lately been telling my gf I want her to go one dates with other guys because it makes my cock hard.
I just say go for it flat out OP, talk about what makes it sexy. This is your sex life you want to be awesome right.
OVERLOAD OF KEKS,I REPEAT OVERLOAD OF KEKS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, SIDES EXPLODING
Oh god OP you are one huge faggot
You don't just jump straight into a fetish like that
First i told my gf that I liked eating her out
Second I told her I like feet while also beforehand having sex with her and licking her feet (which she liked)
Third, I figured would be less comfortable for her, I told her I wanted to lick her asshole beforehand to not freak her out but she let me and liked it
You don't just jump straight for the asshole /b/ro
Put me in the screencap of this magnificent thread anon
Just set her free, and be a faggot with someone equally or more fucked up than you, which you'll find somewhere on the internet or at a gay biker bar.
Don't destroy her for your weirdness. If you have any soul, let her get away from you.
Listen guys i know its all shits and giggles but i'ts not a good feeling to be the one who messed up and is in this situation. Please give me a good way to fix this
4 happy months :(
I was saying it in a serious tone so theres no way i can pull the joke card..
I was jacking off one day and had to fart so i just let it loose and suddenly my dick felt so good, so i tried to fart again and i did and it felt really good again, and i just started trying to fart as much as possible to get the feeling
This is dumb. All girls like their asshole licked, they might just not realize they like it yet. All you gotta do is let your tongue dart down there a few times while your licking her box, "accidently" and sporadically at first, and then just go full on salad tossing. Guarantee no female will stop you.
This, because it's a win-win. She doesn't have to deal with your fetish and you can find someone who will deal with your fetish, maybe even share it.
Else, apologize and tell her you won't bring it up again.
>4 happy months
How money money has she sucked out of you? $100? $400?
Top kek my friend
I too want to be in the screencap of this thread, please
I am a straight male and when I'm alone and have to fart, I cup my hand over my asshole, fart into it, and then cup my nose with it and inhale sharply. I guess you could call it recycling farts. Thoughts?
Bro, you need ti just sit down with your girlfriend and admit you've got issues. I don't give a shit if you don't find it weird because she does. Just tell her what she wants to hear, and if she doesnt want to be with you after you admit to fucking up, then shes not worth it. Find a girl who will fart swap with you. Theres gotta be one out there
Don't get me wrong I won't tongue punch a girls fart box if it's dirty or hairy, there's just something irresistible about a cute little tight, clean butthole. I wouldn't lick a shitty ass clean or anything. Nor would I like a one night stands butthole, I have to know, to the best of my knowledge, that there's been no foreign penis there recently.
i have been staring to the screen for solid 5 minutes WTF OP!
What's with all these fucking screencap replies?
I have literally never seen people saying that shit before. You can smell the fedoras.
Anyway anon, you are totally fucked. From what circle of Hell did you spawn from?
Like other anons have said, just ease into the butt stuff. Also get some proper kinks. Sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality.
Holy shit OP. Put a ring on it if that good woman didn't just noped out of your autistic ass when you uttered the phrase:
>connect our assholes with a tube and fart and toss each others farts back and forth
She's a keeper. Holy fuck what an angel of a woman to bring a glimpse of joy to your sorry face.
Get some fucking help.
Put me in the Plebbit screen shot
"It started when I was 8. My uncle and I use to have farting contests and he would always win. He promised to buy me a new bike if I could fart louder or longer than him but I never could.
It was fun at first but then he started to add conditions to the game. "if you lose this time you have to take off your pants and run around the outside of the house once!" That's how it started. He was very smart about it, always careful to hide his objectives behind the game,
One day I asked him how he always won and he decided to show me. He had a can of compressed air, the type used for cleaning computers. He said all I had to do was pull my pants down and let him stick the little red nozzle up my bum......"
This is the point where you break down.
Fucking kekled so hard. If this kek was top, it'd spin me right round baby, right round.
Yeah but the point is its easier to get someone to give you a quarter if you asked for a penny first, or a dollar if you asked for a quarter, or 5 dollars if you asked for a dollar etc etc
>the warmth of a fart arouses me
She may leave you anon, but I love you forever.
include me in the screencap faggots
Aaaaaaand my sides are beyond the multiverse.
What do you mean? Why would I be happy if something I didn't enjoy was going on?
I'm fine, I have my own set of kinks that keep me happy. No worries, anon.
May all your fetishes be consistently fulfilled.
If u want her to fart u finger her ass while she's blowing u bent over in front of u it makes the asshole a vacuum and she'll have to fart same thing with pussy u can literally hear the air sucked in I did it to my girl n she got pissed lol but I laughed at the funny sounds
That's just the beta way to do it. Be a man and be dominant. If you want to lick the booty, lick the booty. She will respect you and enjoy it more if you do what you want to do, instead of awkwardly asking "hey, can I lick your asshole?"
OP your a sick fuck, and she WILL leave you. The only reason she didn't break up with you immediately is to spare her feeling. yes HER feelings. finding out someones fetish and immediately breaking up with them is a meany thing to do, but rest assured, she is already in the process of rationalizing leaving you. You're fucked OP.
>Laughed at the funny sounds
What are you fucking 5?
>The warmth of a fart arouses me
Rest in piece, /b/ro, for there is no return
Fucking Screencast this thread, this is golden
And it's a fart when it's out of the ass and yes I'm a virgin that's why I can desrcibe a detailed experience of my girl getting air sucked up her vag and ass from me fingering her while getting a bj good job anon continue to fb fap threads of girls ur obsessed with but will never sleep with cause you'll ask too many questions instead of being a man n taking the body in front of u that she's clearly offering whatever u want to do with
Tbh I don't remember if I asked or one day just went down on her ass and pussy when she was in doggy style position its hard to remember stupid details like that when you did it for the next few weeks too
I don't even have a fb faggot. /b/ is the closest I get to social media. When I'm not on /b/ I go outside and actually interact with real people, females included. I know that's hard to imagine.
>told my gf about this thread
>she wants to try it out
The fart would be a third-party fart, trapped in the tube prior to our juggling. She would insert the tube in her anus and I would then blow the trapped gas from the tube into her with my mouth, before inserting my end into me.
No way to draw, sorry. But third party, maybe a hooker for example, would fart into plugged tube and quickly plug the open end. Then we would take tube and insert the clean end into my gf, unplugged, of course. Then I'd take the end with the hooker shit on it, and using my mouth I would blow the hookers fart into my girlfriend. Then I would insert the same end into my anus so that my girlfriend and I could juggle the hooker fart.
Firstly, you don't brush it under the rug. That's the act of a coward.
Secondly, if she doesn't want to ... Fuck her. That's her loss. Move on and find somebody else.
Are you the first born son of Tilefucker, sent to get rekt for our porn folders?
Put me in the screencap of this classic
>suddenly the doors blow open
>two carts pushed side by side
>nurse grabs me
>we need you for this
>walk into room
>pull back sheet
>male and female conjoined by a pipe in the asshole
Gay version of human centipede
>the girl is yelling
>"I never should have tried this!"
>blahblah... Woman talk
>remove pipe with lube and a bit of elbow grease.
I think to myself : "if she doesn't leave him, she damn well earned that ring.
>going into private practice soon.
>Find a girl who will fart swap with you. Theres gotta be one out there
that's a conversation you have when you're married and sex starts to get boring.
hopefully she doesn't spread your shame by telling everyone she knows about your fart juggling.
We've earned the right to be idiots considering we've accomplished nigh on everything.
4 months.. Fuck outta here with this shit and just Let the relationship end
ORLY? need to capture the power of this "juggling" to make alternative energy source
This is legendary. Posting in epic bread. That's seriously fucked up, OP. For real, we don't have your back on this. You need to see a goddamn psychologist about this.
Oh my god.
> farted while fapping
> felt good
This will be spoken of in the annals of time.
i wouldn't be surprised if it was real. farting is a fetish that exists.
"I like to juggle farts" said Op in a serious tone.
His girlfriend was never the same
Save me from the nothing ive become
I would say my sides are killing me but I've just done 30 situps after not excercising in any way for a good few years, every time I even snicker my abs fucking wrench in pain
This is so fucking funny I cant even laugh about it
thats a pretty shitty fetish
put me in the screencap pls
Baby otter says hi to /r/4chan and asks to be in the screepcap. <3 <3 <3
OP. You deserve love. Tell this girl you are sorry that you freaked her out. You care about her a lot and you want her to feel safe and comfortable around you. Make it clear that you love her and not her farts.
But you have to ask: is she willing to work with you to fulfill your fantasies? If the answer is no, you must find a woman who will.
nah, bob smith set the maggots on fire, poured spirits on them, set them on fire again, posted vids and went to bed. bob says he'll make a thread in about a week of him cleaning up the mess and his house.