*BOOM BOOM CRASH* >HANDS IN THE AIR >GET ON THE GROUND
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>HANDS IN THE AIR
>GET ON THE GROUND
>I SAID GET ON THE GROUND
>FIND THE HARD DRIVE
wat do?
>>702962944
Turn 360 degrees and run away
>>702963091
Why would you run into them retard
>>702963370
There is always at least one faggot who falls for it.
bite down on cyanide capsule in teeth
>>702963370
>>702963674
And there's always at least one faggot who falls for me pretending to fall for it
>>702962944
good luck passing through bitlocker with a password of over 30characters...
*teleports behind them*
*Slices them in half with my dubs*
>>702962944
sit and wait. I'm not a nigger who keeps illegal shit
>>702963811
there's always at least one faggot who falls for me pretending to fall for the bait of it
>>702963965
>teleports behind them
>unsheaths katana
>Nothing personnel, kids.
>>702964075
litterally this
>>702963963
This
Everything's encrypted including OS
>>702964139
*personal
you fucking imbecile
>>702964446
>autism
>>702963963
>>702964416
>bitlocker
password is sent to MS automatically
enjoy your v&
>>702964514
>Reflecting own stupidity on others
>>702962944
arm MOAB
warn them they have to move 10 blocks away to live
>>702964416
Enjoy you backdoored encryptions algorythm. Master race encrypted /home here on separate hdd with 12 key pass, button wired under my table to thermite ontop of my harddrive
>>702964416
>>702964599
Using Truecrypt, was just too lazy to mention
>>702964446
You must be Kevin Robinson from school.
>>702964784
Trucrypt has proven backdoors.
>>702962944
initiate thermite release
>>702964514
Should have posted this in reply to >>702964739
i would start a roll thread on 4chan and let dubs tell me what to do
>>702962944
Pull out my pocket knife and slit my own throat and wrists lengthwise to make sure, because it's fucking over
>>702964784
you are fine then
>>702964870
sauce for retarded claim
>>702964643
>>702964643
Listen up you stupid nigger. Maybe English isn't your primarily language. But fucks like you are a diamond dozen.
>>702964802
>Kevin Robinson
who the fuck is kevin robinson
So most of you have illegal stuff stored? cp i guess.
>>702965200
>Listen up you stupid nigger. Maybe English isn't your primarily language. But fucks like
butt fucks*
>>702965331
>>702962944 (OP)
*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
>Playing in the street gonna be a big man someday
Used syringes from free STD testing laboratory down the street under doormat and inside a tube sock filled with feces.
>Somalian style
Don't have cp like you fucking pedos so I've got nothing to worry about.
Also there's every chance a good percentage of you will be outed in the future for your sickening ways, ill look forward to lynching you little cunts with the rest of society.
4chan is not a benchmark of society, you sick fucks are in a disturbed minority, most likely because you're incapable of attracting girls your own age.
>>702965331
Thank you, anon. I'm embarrassed. For all intensive purposes, I forsaw that.
>>702962944
>see them coming through cameras
>MG 42 aimed at door way
>open fire after BOOM BOOM
>nerve gas through "sprinker" system to kill everyone outside
>grab bug out gear
>move to cuba
come /b/ have you lost your creativity these threads used to be good
>>702965872
>For all intensive purposes
>>702965777
>projecting
I don't even have a computer.
>>702965777
check'd.
Welcome to the minority Anon
>>702963811
>hurr durr im retarded
fuck off retard
>jk u got baited xd
>>702962944
Let them walk the hard drive right through my magnetized doorway, erasing it. Thank you, Law and Order.
>>702962944
NIGGER!
>>702963091
Omg lol then you would be going the same way! xD
no Core purge hotkey?
>>702963370
Won't ridecule you anon, because I fell for the same b8 a couple months ago.
Please, just try harder next time.
>>702962944
Stay completely calm. They'll pay for the door and for the hard drive. Then for the emotional pain and stress. I'll be rich in no time!
>>702963091
>>702963370
>>702963674
>>702963809
>>702964139
>>702964446
itt: retards and their retarded cousins baitin' and memein' until everyone is autism.
>>702966086
Nice n edgy pepe
>>702965977
I'm gunna give you leadway and assume you have old timers disease or something. I suggest you do a complete 360 and revalue your life.
>>702965872
> intensive purposes
You might wanna google that brother
>>702963811
>damage control
>>702965200
>diamond dozen
>trying this hard after the other 15 fucking sets of stupid.
>>702966005
> projecting
Fuck off to tumblr fgt
>>702966476
i would be walking TOWARDS the xbox again
>>702966396
>autism
>not a meme
>>702962944
Hide your hard drive where you keep your dubs.
>>702965977
>>702966513
getting two birds stoned at once.
>>702966362
> couple of months ago
Summerfag
>>702966644
how can everyone being an autism being a maymay
>>702966750
No m9 bcz I triple trolled u bcs I knew u wer b8ing so I b8d u into thinking u b8d me, so I triple trolled u honest m8. Bloody got u lol.
>>702962944
execute order 66
>>702966513
>>702966582
>>702966605
>>702966633
>>702966396
>>702965977
>>702965331
>>702965004
>>702964643
>>702964446
I don't think I've ever gotten so many (you)'s in my life.
Case in point: I've done my due diligence.
>>702967061
fucking laheys been drinkin again.
>>702963370
>being this retarded
>>702967265
>I don't think I've ever gotten so many (you)'s in my life.
and that is how faggot trolls are born
>>702967265
well... I'm one of those... what eggzactly do you mean
>>702962944
>cops bust in looking for my drive
>try to unplug hard drive
>Industrial Electromagnetic device gets switched on as a safety precaution
>cops got nothing on me
>>702966005
>I don't even have a computer
Says the fucking faggot fucking posting on the fucking internet!
>Inb4 the CPU on my cell phone magically doesn't count
>>702967484
look at this picture for an explanation
>>702967831
haha veri fani xD
dindu nuffin officer
The Keks Would be real as the 12Guage , and 7.62x39 auto Pistol go off putting them down and the 127Lb bulldog cut loose...... Yep ballistic mercury tip slugs are nasty when you got about 3 grams of Nitro Cellulose in each.
>>702967831
I'm seeing it, but I'm not seeing how it relates to you posting like 10 different peoples things and being like theres a lot of yous when you linked my link and that means that one of them wasnt yours, so it can't be just a lot of you's if you are posting my posts.
>its gotta be a catch 23 situation.
>>702967831
im bored, leave me alone. But thanks for the (you)
>>702964733
Moab, Utah? That whole town is barely 10 blocks.
>>702968120
yeah but its OK when the NAACP bitches on the news.
its just RACIST when the KKK does it.
>>702963370
>>702963674
>>702963811
At this point, it's impossible to tell if anyone reacting to it is legit or baiting
>>702968357
I call that one the moab.
>>702962944
good luck faggots, they're all encrypted
>>702965200
The hardest dozen known to man.
>>702968361
any group that singles anything more then their natural out for preservation is wrong inherently.
>>702964643
didnt realize this was a cringe thread.
>>702963963
you must have some dark shit on your shit
>>702964446
ITS A MEME YOU DIP
>>702965592
Got blood on your face
You big disgrace
Shitting yourself all over the place
>>702967265
Cool radical trolling bro.
Only kidding I didn't like it lololololllooolll get trolled hahalol
>>702967265
heres your final (You)
>>702968692
>>702965777
>lynching you little cunts with the rest of society
>disturbed minority
Yeah sure, and you're in the majority. If so, I'll gladly lynch your punk ass at the next beta uprising.
Show my dick and start fapping with tazer on my testicles.
>>702963809
C'mon anon that meme is dead
>>702969750
Newfag: The Thread
>>702967238
Unzipping peenrar
Lol I have a password on my profile. I think I'm fine
Sell my computer on eBay and use their super fast and effective 1 day shipping. It's great for events such as running from the police, dying, and posting in cancerous threads like these. Have a good day.
>>702967462
And you're not a troll because of your valuable life lesson?
25char AES-256 - srry agents
>>702970014
yes, yes you are
Dudes, i'll show you where my porn stach is, just dont break anything, the house is rented.
where do i even get good cp
>>702970944
reported
>>702968926
I like you, you think like me.
>>702962944
Uhhhh, do you want me on the ground or to find the hard drive?
>>702967831
Oh, I get it. You're Donald Trump.
>>702962944
Tell them they're retarded because I have a solid state drive
>>702971321
B cuz we are us. Fuck the mundanes, they're clueless.
>>702962944
>>702962944
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>>HANDS IN THE AIR
>>GET ON THE Floor
everybody walks the dinosaur
Swat team busted in to save a shit laden news station and things got ugly.
https://youtu.be/_SPsWWp5e0Y
>>702962944
AIIEEEEEEEEE PRIVACY RAPE!! CZECH UR ALPHA PRIVILEGE!!
>>702962944
>wat do?
Hold on, how did they get close to the front door? Where's the metal security screen? Where's the metal reinforcing around the door hinges? Where's my dog?
>Turns around
>Unsure look at FBI agents
>Problemofficer.jpg
>FBI demands to look through computer
>nothingtoseehere.bmp
>FBI apologizes for disturbing me
>Continue playing ESO:TI
>nazipigs.rtf
>Blasts Cannibal Corpse
/encounter
>>702962944
Charge at them, forcing them to shoot me so I die and don't go to jail.
>>702963370
loool noob
>>702966277
newfag detected!
>>702971889
Fuq awf, you gawddamned youtube shill. I don't mind your shitty drawing, but at least put the effort into some half-assed animation.
>>702962944
>Get down on the ground,
>unplug pc
>smile and wait for them to ask for the password
>say I forgot.
>wait for judge to order me to give password, >say I forgot,
>Spend years in a drak dank prison and never give password,
>finally give password,
>smile knowing there isn't shit on MY machine, >get released
>sue the fuck outta the state or fed for false imprisonment because of memory problems
>profit
>>702964739
>bitlocker
kek u techsavvy
>>702962944
press off switch on the power connector with my foot. Drive is encrypted, they can fuck off.
>>702965081
>thermite bitch! USE IT
>flare open my cloak as I start floating backwards into my sex dungeon
>they follow quickly but can hardly keep up
>dragon dildos hang from the ceiling of my chamber doors
>I'v waited all my life for this
>I slick the floor with anal lube and coconut oil
>they fall into my trap
>i disarm them and rip off their clothes
>they're sticky from the lube-oil
>I dash glitter upon their naked bodies
>I turn on the stereo
>WE DANCED
>THEN WE CRIED
>WE HAD A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD TIME
>>702962944
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOMBOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOMBOOM CRASH*
>kek lel as they try and bust through my steel door bolted into a steel frame
>windows have bars on them, that's secure too
>calmly walk downstairs, grab my firearms and bug out bag
>make a nice lunch too, because I have time, they aren't getting in
>proceed to basement
>escape through tunnel that intersects city sewer
>call up my guy on a disposable phone, tell him it's time
>he picks me up, drives to private runway
>I board small aircraft and head to Alaska
>spend the rest of my life living in the woods
>>702972882
>We will, we will cock you, cock you
good cp where tho
>>702973293
Good luck, m8. No tendies in the woods.
>>702973363
>You got cum on your face. A big disgrace.
>>702969882
but it literally is dead
>>702973500
here you go, friend.
>>702973674
>Wavin' dat ass all over the place.
>>702973789
"Heroes never die"
>>702969882
Must be why you're here.
>>702973857
finally this thread is getting interesting... contributing
>>702974395
Nice, have you seen this one?
>>702964446
>being this new
>>702962944
turn off tv.
be glad that I don't live in a shithole country where this happens on a daily basis.
>>702974916
inb4 404
>>702962944
>tell them about the highly flammable chemicals I'm working with, so they better don't do anything to ignite em.
>show lighter, tell them you'll burn the house to the ground if they come one step closer
>360 and walk away
>>702975369
Fuck the mods they can't ba
[USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST}
I got this out a hacked iCloud
>>702975972
>360 and walk away
you would be walking towards them idiot
>>702962944
>Shoot self in head
-COUNTER TERRORIST WIN-
>>702976370
that isn't even b8 anymore
>>702976478
you just made me realise that a suicide key would be great in counterstrike
so much trolling potential
>>702976710
kek
>>702962944
start the 30 second timer for all the explosives in the house, then leave through back door of garage, hiding behind bushes make my way into my neighbor's garage
>boom goes the dynamite
steal neighbor's car, calmly drive off, admiring the caos in rear view mirror
>>702963963
"I WAS BORN IN THE USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Isn't it
>>702962944
yessir officer, i have nothing incriminating other than the incest and interracial history section of firefox
>>702977431
bruce springsteen?
>>702962944
"Calm greetings, what are your extremes? how may I be of service?"
>>702962944
ask them if they need help finding the best parts of my vast porn collection
>>702962944
Let go of the dead man's switch for the magnets.
>>702965898
yeah, just a bunch of pussies left.
it's a shame
>>702965303
Shut up Kevin, stop showing my deviantart page to kids at school!
>tfw nobody posted pic related
>tfw i have no face.
>>702967265
lel le epic trole 69 gg no re
Grab a hand grenade and blow myself and the hard drive up so they won't find my embarrassing christmas photo
Of their first words aren't identifying what department they're with and if they have a search warrant, then shoot .
>eat hard drive
>>702966091
you do realize this doesn't work?
you would need ridiculous strong magnets for this, magnets that would interfere with all kinds of electro-mechanical devices in your house and a couple of neighbor houses, and would pull every piece of metal in a meter radius towards them with insane force.
the huge super powerful magnets i hid in the door frames and window frames of my house will erase the drives as swat hauls it out as evid.
>>702962944
>activate incognito mode
>they can't find hard drive
>???
>profit
>>702978704
like antenna towers have stong magnets, just flip the switch.
>>702978719
see
>>702978704
also: enjoy getting every credit card deleted that enters or leaves your house
smack the teleport button. clean dead swat off my lawn now in bali.
>>702965329
Its a sad day when people don't just assume we all have illegal shit on our hard drives. What has happened to /b/
>>702978951
you would need more power for those magnets than your power line could handle. like several kilowatts.
even if, enjoy every piece of metal in your surrounding flying towards that magnet like a projectile. including your belt buckle.
>>702979357
> belt
Implying anon doesn't wear sweats with mustard and cum stains.
>>702979047
i only use cash. its all buried in reused mayonnaise jars in my back yard. And because of what is on my drives i don't have family or friends, so no one ever comes over. plus its all on a switch.
>>702978719
>>702966091
They might notice that their radios died.
i don't wear clothes. i only tape my dick up my ass crack when i fight.
>>702963091
I'd turn 720 degrees and run away
>>702962944
Just run at them. Or run for the hd. Either way im fucked for life if they want it that badly.
>>702979619
my point was that the whole magnets in doorframes thing doesn't work for deleting a hard drive.
it would have all kinds of funny side effects, like pulling and holding the SWAT teams' guns and stuff, but it doesn't actually delete a hard drive.
deleting a hard drive with magnets doesn't work, it has been proven several times.
I'll probably get b& for posting this but here ya go guys.
>>702977622
Hey /b/ro, whos the fuck is bruce springsteen?
>>702979656
magnets don't affect radios.
learn2physics
shit yer pants and scream like a bitch so they laugh when they kill you
>>702980346
if they are powerful enough to erase unpowered hard drives, they will
>they will also pull the guns against the wall
>>702968372
It's really easy to just pretend you were trolling all along when someone catches you being a stupid faggot on /b/. Why do people have to be so insecure.
>>702976043
>[ }
>>702980346
damn, all that work for nothing. magnets were heavy too. good thing i just installed acid packs to the drives. think re purposed bullet squibs from a movie set. just pull the cord. dissolves everything.
>>702962944
Throw my fucking laptop against the wall and stomp on it repeatedly, try and break it. No way I'd get to the microwave, I'd have to go past the front door.
>>702962944
be confused because i don't have child porn on my fucking computer that i share with my mom
If you kept everything on paper punch tape, they wouldn't recognize it as media.
>>702981117
a lot of people are also actually pretending
>>702980970
yeah, possibly.
>>702981229
if you're interested in the magnets vs hard drive thing, read physics.stackexchange.com/questions/110870/could-a-hard-drive-actually-have-been-erased-as-described-in-cryptonomicon#110874
>>702962944
Get down, let them take the laptop in for screening and continue making my grilled cheese sandwich. All the stuff that I need to keep away is encrypted and locked in a password protected DMG file, with a hella advanced password.
>kindly macfag
>>702981659
>falling for obvious bait
>hur hur get baited faggots I'm not actually new!
Yeah, sorry for the skepticism.
roll for dubs.
>>702962944
I'll get butt naked, curl up on the floor, and start crying like a little bitch. They'll be so ashamed of me, that they'd just leave and never come back.
>>702982163
>was being neutral
>hurr durr bad vibes
it's ok i forgive you, anon
>>702976478
Hey man, nice shot.
>>702982436
Don't let your tendies get cold, Billy!!
>>702969750
So is he
I don't trust white people.
>>702982841
uh ok
>>702982016
Are DMG's safe, though? Also, what's in your folder?
>>702962944
I would laugh and laugh and laugh. Oh no! The police are going to find my 2 terabyte collection of porn.
>Swat team bursts in
>run hackthefbi.exe
>download all the company in front of them
>point to the top of my screen
>I'm in incognito mode
>they have no evidence against me
>call the police on the swat team for breaking and entering
>>702983229
With 256-bit AES encryption I wish them good luck digging for it. And it's mostly porn, some things that might be incriminating and stuff I don't want my friends to see. Nosy shitheads always snoop around on my computer, so I locked it all away.
>>702983528
Fuck, cp corrected to company
walk the dinosaur
>>702983528
i can has exe file? need for research. mail it to me on [email protected]. thanks.
>>702963370
>>702983980
Just type "hack the FBI" into notepad and save it as hackthefbi.exe
>>702983528