Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
I'm in love with my girlfriend's best friend. Like, a few days ago, I realised I'm actually in love with her. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years and I've known her best friend all that time, but something's clicked recently and now I can't shake it. What do I do Am I fucked
>>702844984 Tell them both. Chances are you'll turn both of them off but it's unfair to the girlfriend and unhealthy for you in the extreme. I know it sucks but sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and trust me when i say there WILL be others so long as you actively look, the current population and density damn near ensures it.
>>702844465 Because at every persons core is a weak child emotionally vulnerable and ultimately untested. These experiences we have that hurt that child are what make an adult and adult. Yes it is a sad thing but it also makes us stronger as a person which is a good thing. Eventually you can make mistakes without the hurt and thats where LEARNING from mistakes truly happens, which is a better thing. The lies just help us cope with the change by prolonging the injury.
This image kept me from killing myself the last couple depressive spirals I've had. I think about it every time I want to commit suicide and I can't do that to my 2 cats. No one cab explain to my 2 cats that I love them so much, I just don't love myself
>>702846954 Yes. At best its petty. Your pain is as equal in intesity as theirs is despite the problems technically being on different scales as they have as little experience as you have experience with internal turmoil. Everyone deserves help and no one more than the other as we're all suffering.
>>702847143 Its logical cause i've been there and that is the shortest cut you could take and the best option overall as staying in stasis will do nothing but emotionally kill 2 out of the 3 of you. We have them because without them we'd never do great things like art or science or see the grandeurs of the universe or make wonderful music. Emotions are the workds gift to us and while they may hurt us from time to time its our gift to ourselves and others to experience and use it.
>>702847882 Pills aren't great as most commonly prescribed pills like SSRI's have been around long enough for suspected side effects to be proven side effects. Long term usage of common anti-depressants commonly damage long term and short term memory as well as the ability to deal with emotions which is the opposite of what you want in these cases. Some also fuck up the intestinal flora which is generally bad as well.
When your mind clings to things you suffer. Its this clinging that you have to learn to tame. The thoughts of this girl you liked are doing nothing positive for you, so every time you start to find yourself clinging to those thoughts you have to conciously decide to think of something good in your life, or something positive like a goal you want to achieve.
Picture thoughts of her as clouds passing by in your mind. Its okay that theyre there but you dont need to focus on them bc they hold no value.
>>702849301 Sounds like your a codependent emotionally shuttered person and she's an average human. Thats not a good mix anon and she's right about it being a problem and in the long run "fixed" is lots of therapy and possibly a mood stabilizer for you. Main thing to take away from here is NEVER make someone else your only motivation or reason for emotional stability as its vastly unsustainable and extraordinarily unfair to the other person. You should try and avoid the manipulative behavior to keep her close and talking as well as that generally makes people uncomfortable.
Do you guys ever just feel alone? Like, so alone and misunderstood in your problems that it's almost smothering, and you don't bother to tell anyone anymore because even though they ask, they won't understand? I'm just laying here and the dark really does feel like it's trying to smother me, wanted to know if it's just me
She already found another guy (probably didn't cheat yet though), a normie with a job or a good college and a lot of normies friends. He talks to her about his nights at the club and at the movies and his travels, all these things you probably don't (can't) give her. In short, a guy with other motivations.
Unless you're willing to immidiately change things in your life in order to TRY ( try is the keyword here ) to keep her in your lif, it's basically a done deal. Of course that brings forth the question of, do you want her in your life?
In my opinion you don't. Not really. You do want to have female company. But not her in particular. She's just the most convenient one and you're used to her.
Chances are it wont get better either way. Even if you do manage to keep her this time, how long til she starts making ridiculous demands once she figures out she can bait you with the threat of leaving? >b-b-but anon, she's not like that
>>702850082 Have u tried talking to someone whos opinion u value and respect? Find someone with life experience. They may not "understand" you but they may be able to rationalize your problems better then you can right now.
>>702849847 I don't think it's that bad, plus she's being influenced by her best friend, who just got out of a shitty relationship and has found someone new who makes her happy... >plus her friends hate me for no good reason >i can't be problem...can i?
yeah. a lot. i literally broke down the other day and sadly/thankfully there was someone there to see it. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i think i'm better these days but i don't like that there's someone else besides me that knows this side of me.
>>702850082 >Do you guys ever just feel alone? Like, so alone and misunderstood in your problems that it's almost smothering, and you don't bother to tell anyone anymore because even though they ask, they won't understand? I'm just laying here and the dark really does feel like it's trying to smother me, wanted to know if it's just me No because nobody asks me.
found out my gf lied about being raped and abused and lied about me to her parents and myself as well, luckily it wasn't anything serious. Used me for the year we dated, basically told me to fuck off. That's when I told her to kill herself multiple times and then made memes of her and she came to visit me after she saw them. Triggered beyond belief
>>702850759 >I think the main problem in my relationship is communication on her end.. No. You are the problem because you made "[her your] ONLY motivation". It can't work and she doesn't have to be your guardian.
>>702850587 I understand that completely. It's not always bad, but it definitely isn't always good. Lost the one person who I knew could really, really relate and she took all those things with her when she left. Es no bueno.
>>702849301 Four months ago I split with my gf of 14 years. Didn't speak for three months, and then she called start of August.
This exact thing. I'm useless without her, but I can't be with her because I only hold her back. We both love each other, but in the wrong ways for the other person.
If you're too different, and you know it, don't hold on for the sake of holding on. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, but it's better for you both if you don't drag it on to the point you start to resent each other.
I'll send good vibes to you, anon, but it's all down to you what happens. Good luck.
>>702851501 Meet people through social activities. Talk online or go to clubs or bars or events of any nature and chat them up. Eventually you find people interested in the same things and you as a person. Eventually one of those people will want to date and hopefully you feel the same way. The main issue is if you go looking you usually don't find them you sort of have to just throw yourself out into open space and it just happens.
>>702851834 >Be me >Be asked out by a girl I liked >We go to the movies >I pay for our tickets >She leans on me as the movie starts >Suicide Squad >As she gets out of my truck, she looks at me >I look at her and tell her that I love her hair >She got it done 3 days ago >She smiles and says thanks anon >She kisses my cheek through the window >And tells me that I am a great friend >I got home >I lay down to sleep for the night >She calls me >Drunk >Tells me about her life >About how she's lonely >Turns out she went to the movies because her bf dumped her I hate my life
>>702852305 Sounds like she opened up to you while getting sauced and you missed out on earning brownie points. Like the other anon above said, you don't get friendzoned by others you just place yourself in the friendzone through your own actions.
>>702852386 It's manipulative is what it is. It's forcing her to talk to you later and you get the satisfaction of being guaranteed that moment and thus make yourself feel better at the expense of her.
>>702852305 >Ask her why she's drunk >She tells me that all her bf wanted was to use her body >Resist the urge to tell her I told you so >Tell her about my new job >About how It'll make me move out of state for a while >She tells me that if I leave her, then she would be lonely >I ask her what she meant by that >She just goes silent for a while >Then she sighs and tells me that she really does love me >But she wants to be just friends because it would be weird >I told her to give me a chance >Told her that I want her to be happy >that was the moment I fucked up >She laughs lightly >"Anon, Thanks... But what about your leg?" >>>Prosthetic leg KILL ME!
I was jealous, a hypocrite, uncaring, and selfish. I still am, and I can't help it. She left me, and I was angry but when I realised what kind of person I was, I stopped being angry and regretted how I acted. I have a girlfriend now who I love, but I'll always miss my ex.
I'm making the same mistake again, but I'm already dead inside
I knew I was holding her back, I couldn't be what she wanted, and that despite loving her a lot I'm too autistic/narcissistic to ever think anything is my fault in the moment. It was only the fact that our last conversation (the one four months ago, not the one last month clearing the air) ended with is both angry and hurt and we literally went into radio silence for three months. I could think of how shit I was and how much we clashed when together.
On reflection, I was lucky I held onto her for so long.
>>702852926 >I tell her that it is fine. >Tell her that since I had the fitting, I can drive again >She kinda chokes up >She asks if I am ok >She tells me that everyone in town talks about what happened in the accident >Accident involving oil well >She says that everyone thought I was drunk >Tells me that they way I drink, I turn into a different person >Says that she does not want to be with me, because I push myself too much
Soo, quick question, do you guys know of a good resource for mental health??!? I'm not doing to good lately, and need some assists. I've been on these forums before, but nothing lasts. It's really coming to a head i believe, slowly but surely. >"Numb" is the word for today kids!!"
>>702853007 Kinda sorta yeah. If it makes you feel any better most people that have these types of problems have them stem from issues like depression or anxiety and actually can't help doing so. I know its gonna sound weird but go to a therapist and just talk. Most happily accept that you come to them with nothing but chatter and worries and that they can help with that. Best case scenario? Zero mental issues and you can change your ways that much easier. Worst case? Probably depression and social anxiety which they can help you with.
>>702853411 >Right now >She called me >asks if I want to go hang out with her bitch friend >I told her sure >I get there >Bitch by herself >Tells me I'm a freak and to leave town I am sitting here... with my only fifteen personal belongings. >Leg >Wallet >Truck >10 dollars cash >Laptop Who should I leave these too? I have no one anymore
this is surprisingly helpful, anon. i realized about a week or so ago that I am clinging to the idea of her, out of habit at this point, but clinging anyway. she doesnt want a relationship with me, and has moved on. i'm making things hard for her by my unwillingness to let her go.
>>702853605 Therapists. They literally make their living off of the stuff. Don't even tell them why you want to talk to them just go in and chat. Most love the challenge of actually figuring someone out as it just comes with the territory.
Anyone else here have aspergers? All my relationships last for about a year until the girlfriend realises that I'm actually pretty shallow and selfish and I find it hard to care about issues they have with me sometimes. I try to change. Feels bad man
April 27th, An old man in his late 80's gets put into a retirement home by his daughter. The first few days the old man was happy that he finally has people to socialize with. Months upon months go by and his family never visited him. He was being abused by the staff working at the retirement home and on top of his family abandoning him he became very sad and wanted to make a change. One late night the old man wakes up and grabs the small package of food he had stored up. He sneaks out of his room and slowly makes his way down the hallway, then the moment he saw a guard shine her light he ducked and waited till she passed. He eventually made his way out of the home and was in the fog covered yard of the retirement home. It was dark but he started walking until he eventually reached the bottom of a hill, he climbed the hill till he reached an old cottage at the top. The old man rested there for the night and woke up to a fox staring at him motionless. The Fox's bright red fur made the old man feel warm, but soon the old and the fox became friends. The fox always stayed with the old man and brought them small animals to eat. Weeks go by and one day the old man wakes up on a cold, gloomy, rainy day and fox is gone. The old man lights a fire and sits in an old creaky wooden chair hoping fox will return. Days pass and fox returns to the old man, the fox ran up to the old man and tugged at his pant leg. The old man follows fox to the opening of a dark cobblestone tunnel. Fox runs in and the old man follows, a few minutes of walking and the old man is surrounded by complete darkness with no fox in sight. All of a sudden he feels a warm presence in front of him. He sees a bright, warm, white light at the end of the tunnel with fox sitting in front. (Part 1)
(part 2) He walks towards the light looks at fox as fox walks in and follows shortly behind. All of a sudden the old man wakes up in a hospital bed hooked up to IV's and heart rate machines. The nurse in the room greets him apon wakening. The old man looks around for fox which is no where in sight, he starts hesitating, the heart rate monitor goes off with a loud blaring siren, the nurse runs to go get a doctor. The old man stands up out of bed and Being weak he tripped over the IV connected in his arm, he falls to the ground and looks up, fox is sitting calm in front of him, he gets a wrinkled smile on his face with tears of joy flooding his eyes, then the fox puts her paw on him and the says "This is it, this is the way the world works, you cannot go on any longer. Let go."the old man says " I don't want to die, please let me live, I don't want to go!" With tears falling down his wrinkled face, the fox presses her head against the old man's head then pulls away as the doctors rush into the room running straight pass fox as if she wasn't there. The old man turns onto his back and slowly closes his eyes as the sound of the heart rate monitor goes off and the yelling of doctors fade into nothing as he takes his last breath
>>702854307 Most people think of therapists as for crazy people. You can literally just chat with them and they'll help you feel better about your situation. If you feel you need more yoy can go back. They're the proffesional equivalent of a shoulder to cry on and come ready with the exact knowledge and skills needed to help you become mentally healthier. It doesn't have to start or end with a diagnosis just a worry you can't seem to do much about. They're doctors of the mind and soul and you seem to have an ache that won't go away.
>>702854846 I get where you're coming from, I just don't think that i need one just because my girlfriend left me because i was a cunt, i'm just going to have to use this experience as a "how not to act in a relationship"
>>702850082 I'm with you, completely. Even with my fiance, I felt alone. I just lost her yesterday, which is what ended up drawing me into this thread. Now it's a combination of my loneliness, my boredom, the constant depression, and a sense of grief all balled up in my chest.
>>dated more than 3 years >>both go to study abroad >>try the long distance thing >>make it like 3 weeks >>she seems distant the whole time >>one morning she messages me asking to skype >>i can feel it coming >>we break up when we talk on skype later that day >>the entire time i'm just staring at the hickey's on her neck wanting to die She couldn't even bother to break up with me, just cheated then dumped me when she felt guilty. I wanted to marry her after we graduated college. No one has even come close to making me feel the same way since, and its been more than 4 years now.
I'm pretty sure I saw pics of my ex somewhere on the internet... I'm not sure if I should tell her or not. She might think I'm just being a jealous creep but I just genuinely still care about her as a person and I would hate it if she was unknowingly seeing a scumbag who would spread her pics behind her back... what should I do? I'm about 50% sure it was her, there was no face.
>>702856830 It's not that you have complaints but that the way you were raised along with your natural proclivities and the influence of the local area makes the human more or less. Whatever your expose was might have set unreasonable goals for what life actually is while your parents may have done the modern age thing of not telling you the bad bits about life or letting you make your own bad decisions and dealing with the fallout of such. If you're parents never punished you for instance or if they never let you go out and do something stupid or if they told you with actual conviction that you could in fact be anything and you actually believed them and you're part of the 99.99% of human beings not capable of that.
>>702856548 i've been preaching this for 4 years now man, i learned that lesson the hard way. at least it only took me a few weeks for LDR to realize it wasn't gonna work instead of doing it for years and getting fucked over. that's always been my approach anyway with girls, if they're not into me i don't even bother. its just hard when you fuck girls way hotter than your ex and you still feel like an empty trash can on the inside lol. >>702856785 thanks man
>>702859355 >can you? I can try right? >do i want to? Yeah, i want to hold onto for a little longer, and prove to myself that i'm not a complete asshole. >worth? Yeah, she's amazing and deserves better. But i'm determined to fix it. >would i risk hurting her again? yeah. i don't intend for this to happen again.
Can I get any advice please? I've been liking this girl for about 3 years now, i met her in PE, she is the prettiest most perfect girl in the world, she has guys all over her, i started talking to her and automatically hit it off with same music interest, i ngl, im an ugly kid, but she doesnt seem to care, we start to build a friendship, she dates other guys and i cant look at any other girl, this one is too perfect, i start doing little shit for her, i buy her tx to her favorite band, i take her to an amusment park, i take her to see other concerts, i will at times give her money for no good reason, ill give her like $50-$100 (i know it aint shit but thats a fuckton if you are a broke 16y/o with desires), as bad as it sounds, its not that sad, she probably used me, but it payed off, she would spend nights on the phone with me and we would talk a lot and she would become one of my closest friends and I one of hers, she would tell me shit no one ever knew about her, and i never told her how i felt about her, until one day, i decided fuck it, i sent her the usual message every dumbass sends, of course get shut down, fuck it move on, she starts dating this guy, guy leaves for navy training or some shit like that, she asks me to go to Homecoming with her, fuckyeah.jpg, go to HC with her, it was whatever, at this time i didnt have any classes with her, it helped me move on of her rejection, second semester change some classes, then i have her in 1 class, everyday we talk without stopping, barely pass class i was so distracted from her, finish the rest of Junior year, beginning for Senior year <right now> she breaks it off with her BF of over a year, she calls me, we start talking on phone like we used to, sleep till like 2 on phone with her every night, she tells me how she doesnt have many realy friends but only a small circle of 4 (including myself) she also tells me how she fucked a guy older than her, then how she regrets it since he didnt show any interest after...
She's fucking someone else dude. All of them. She's out right now taking all the dicks that aren't yours and not even thinking about you. At all.
You probably wont ever forget her, guys aren't soulless monsters like women, but you can get over her. Go and fuck someone else. Anyone. That chubby gamer chick that smells like cheetos or the flat chested nerd at the library, fuck it just bone someone that's not her and let the feels dissolve.
>>702860076 she complains to me about how she doesnt have a BF, it gets kinda akward when she says that, and shes also inviting me to Homecomin this year, i want to be something with her, but i also know that she doesnt want anything with me but to be friends, so fuck it, i cant do anything about it, but im starting to feel depressed from it again, what do /b/ advice plz, BTW I AM 18 NOW so plz dont fucking ban me
>be me, 18. >new Christmas job >meet him, let's call him Bob. >blonde curly hair, green eyes and just a little taller than me, about 160cm. >the way that the light bounced off onto his complexion is angel - like. I'll never forget >I liked him so much >he'd drop me off home after shifts together >gave him chocolates to say thank you. >he didn't like me back. >post Christmas, started to get over him >then he asks me out on a date. >fucking comes out of nowhere. I accepted >went to the city to watch the last hobbit movie >eats out at a ramen place, he makes a rose out of a napkin >head over heels for this guy >we held hands during the date - being asian, a really big thing but not really for you white folk. >we make out in his car. >parents are sus - they don't like relationships and are pretty strict >cont.?
Yeah shouldn't be whimpering like a little puppy dog after that, if anything you should be pissed that she would do something so stupid. If she isn't willing to have some self control then she isn't worth the time.
Quit with the whiny wall of text, you don't advice over something that should be natural in the first place. If she want to use you as her comfort zone beta orbiter then stop talking to her, or else make yourself clear that you aren't looking for a just friends relationship. I know you're only 18 but fuck off with this kid shit
>>702860476 the other times were for different reasons.. >shit excuse i know, but the first time it was cause she had a panic attack and because i didn't run out to her, (couldn't drive then and its an hour walk) at 1am, apparently i wasn't taking the relationship seriously.
The second time was because i was treating her "like a friend" and not a girlfriend.
And i know it can't be an overnight fix. I just want her to stay with me so i can show her how much i really care.
>>702860824 if you and your company alone isn't enough to cheer her up then you're fucked. sorry to be blunt but you seem like you're trying to convince yourself there's a possibility of her falling for you and it looks to be pretty evident that she never will. honestly if you need to prove it to yourself, go for broke. take her to homecoming again. flowers, nice suit, the whole fucking thing. be an amazing date, and take her to a party or something after. make a move. if she rejects you, you'll know for sure and you can move on.
>>702861373 Drift apart, go your separate ways, grow up. Youngfags always place women on a pedestal when they lack self esteem. Instead of relying on a women to make yourself feel competent, you need to find a way to be competent without a women. She knows you lack this part of yourself just as much as you do.
I think i have depression. Im always pissed off or bummed always down pretty much. It started in april when my friend shot herself and was down for awhile still miss her. I got better got new friends. My two best friends both lied to me. One used me to fuck the other cause she caught feelings and the other lied to me so i wouldnt know. Then she realized he only wanted to fuck her. Havnt told anyone how i feel what they did cause he has a girl friend. Those plus family issues tears me apart.
>>702860824 You're still a child so I can't expect you to see this: you're her emotional cushion. She keeps you on her leash and she keeps you close. Of course she doesn't ASK for money cause she knows you'll just hand it to her without the asking. She won't ask cause that raises suspicion. She does everything she can to keep you at hand so she can depend on you emotionally without the attachment and you PAY HER FOR IT. Break it off if she doesn't commit and do it cold turkey. Again because you're you won't get this but there is ALWAYS another "The One" somewhere waiting to be found you just have to find them and you have your whole life to find The One that actually fits.
> I just want her to stay with me so i can show her how much i really care.
sounds to me that you pretty much want to masturbate in her face and say "ugh look how wrong you were about me you bitch, look. i do care". if you really did care you would have said "i want to stay with her because i care about her" >b-b-but anon that's what i meant no you didn't
just let it go mate. it will be better for you in the long run.
>>702849301 >>702844183 >>702844037 >>702843293 >>702854169 >>702857796 I'm sorry anons, I wish I could say that it gets easier sooner, but it takes a long time to feel better again. Pic related, sent this to my ex two weeks ago. I really saw a future with her too. I know this isn't the advice that you guys want, but you have to let go before it starts to feel better.
Dropped the girl after 3.5yrs, 2.5yrs of it spent in romantic relationship. First for everything for both of us. Finally after us being broken up but still best friends for a year she got a boyfriend. Dropped her a week later since I clearly wasn't as important in her life as she was in my life.
Did I do it right? It still hurts a month later. I've gone to some parties with my brother which I've never done, also got drunk for the first time in the last month too. Worst part is she still wants me, I told her I don't miss her and to message me in a month and the 15th can't come soon enough.
I'll post 1 more since there are actually people participating in this thread. I'm the study abroad anon. >>out at the bar one friday night at college >>see friend's ex, been single ~6 months now >>i got to just casually say hi, turns into us hanging all night >>we have so much fucking fun, stealing drinks from the bartenders (crowded college bar) and gossiping like bitches >>last call is like 30 minutes away >>she just leans in and kisses me, catching me totally off guard >>we kiss for a minute, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, i do the same >>we meet back up, i go to kiss her again >>she says "we can't do this here, too many people we know" (remember she dated my friend for years) >>I go for broke, "well then lets go back to your place" >>holy shit it worked >>take uber home, make out the whole drive back >>get to her house, make drunk grilled cheese >>start to hook up in her living room, she's an aggressive kisser >>pulling hair, tearing off clothes >>i've got my hands in her pants (leather leggings holy shit) >>so drunk at this point i brown out >>faint memory of going into bed with her >>wake up the next day in only underwear in bed w her >>i feel fucking amazing, she's def the hottest girl i had ever been with at that point in my life >>she drives me home >>as i'm getting out of the car she says kinda jokingly "well that was fun" (it was a little awkward the next day due to me being good friends w her ex bf) >>i reply "we should do that again sometime then" >>we both kinda awkwardly laugh and she drives away >>had one other similar encounter with her a couple months later >>we talk every day, i def want to date her but i seriously doubt she would ever date me At least I got to see what she was like a couple times and I can notch it on my belt as a fun random hookup instead of the usual crushing heartbreak, but my god I would do just about anything to take that girl out to a nice fucking dinner and impress the shit out of her.
>>702864559 It's a kinda weird situation, yeah. We were together for two and a half years, high school sweethearts. Suddenly in July last year I suddenly lost my romantic feelings for her. She stayed and "waited" for me. After a year she suddenly found a boyfriend. I didn't feel important to her anymore so I decided to dump her but she still wants me to stay. I can't stop thinking about her but there's no way I'm willing to put time into her if I'm not important in her life like before, I guess.
I fully expect that she'll message me, honestly. If she doesn't though, I won't be messaging her though. I'm not willing to just tell her to stop messaging or whatever but if she puts me in a position where me simply restraining myself from acting will let me, I'll take it.
I put myself in a situation where she was my only person in my life really. I had one other great friend but she messaged me 10 months ago saying to never message her again- she'd gotten into a polyamorous relationship and was moving to Texas from here in Canada. So me losing Chelsea now is pretty rough since I'm basically alone in the world apart from family. Never made friends in high school because I was too busy being in a relationship...
>>702865231 >>702865231 >Suddenly in July last year I suddenly lost my romantic feelings for her. She stayed and "waited" for me. To clarify we stayed very close friends in this time, first in each other's lives, still had sex. Just no romantic stuff really. I don't know why I lost those feelings, I just did.
I'm so socially inept. Every time someone asks for my number I hope they never text me. I get anxious when just thinking about getting invited somewhere. In a sense, I want friends, but maybe it's best for me not having any.
>>702865630 I get that. I got new clothes and a new haircut and I want to go out 'cause this is my weekend, but I have no friends to go out with and even if I did would probably be too scared. I'm super bored, lonely, anxious, and depressed, and this is my average weekend.
Netflix and fapping is getting boring, okcupid is fruitless, and I can't go to a bar alone or I would die. How do you break this cycle?
>>702865553 I mean, I tried to recommit to her once she told me. I sorta knew what was going on, knew it would happen. I talked to her about it and she said it was all good fun, just coffee. By the end of it he had asked her on a date.
I immediately told her I wasn't happy with it, she kinda blew it off. I tried to recommit with her after their coffee thing, she wouldn't accept it though. She's obviously moved on, and clearly I hadn't in reality. I was comfortable having her with me like that.
I figured the best thing from there was to remove her from my life rather than become some orbiter or something. I'm just not sure it's right yet, I guess. It's a lot, I'm pretty introverted and I'm happy just having a person or two. I've lost all my people though so I'm feeling pretty lost and lonely at the moment.
>>702866214 Well, for all the jealousy she's making she's not making a lot of getting back together when I try.
>>702866323 If you muster up enough courage to ask some friends to hang out, hopefully enough of that will become normal and not leaving that disgusting feeling in your stomach. It hasn't worked for me so far but I'm only one person. My psychiatrist even says I need more friends, more sleep, and to eat more. I never listen but it's worth a shot.
this was my weekend >book posh restaurant with gf >she has just recently come back from ibiza so want to see her and have good night out >tells me shes excited on friday >tells me to cancel on saturday and that she wants to go to the pub instead >when she finishes work on saturday she asks me to come but heavily hints she wants me to go somewhere else >i stay home, she goes out with work >get call, meet me in the pub my friends gone home >go to wetherspoons (pub) >shes late and drunk >give her cocaine and take some >she tells me "everyone in this pub fancies me look how they all stare" >then spends the next hour and a half ignoring me and talking to 5 groups of guys >putting her leg on the table and flirting hard >after ages i tell her i want to go >she says i should go and get food and she stays there >tell her thats bullshit and im leaving she ignores me >leave, cant sleep >6am she comes on fb >went to music festival with a group from the pub >tell her im angry and that i felt like shit >she apologises and goes to sleep >cant leave it, tell her i feel like im drifitng away and ask her if she still likes me >she wakes up and replies maybe its not working >take it badly, tell her its done then >sleep >wake up at 11 feel depressed >send 8 shitty texts to her instead of going to see her and talk face to face >block her >smoke a spliff >head cleared, maybe i overreacted >apologise but she wont talk to me >"its done, i dont want to be harsh but i guess i have to"
havent slept a full night since saturday i fucked it up big time
>>702866608 I feel like leaving her was the only choice in the end but it hurts so badly still. In the time before I really cut communication, as much as I was able to, I couldn't do anything. I just wandered around my house, or laid in bed. I did work that was handed to me but couldn't do anything more which is kinda a big deal if you're self employed. Couldn't focus on anything. I'm still feeling that way a bit but now the loneliness is setting in more than anything. I spent so much time with her, hours a day talking via text or in person.
I simply have nobody or anything to fill that time with.
>>702869450 I'd say don't contact her unless she contacts you. If she really wants you she'll come back. The ball is in her court, don't walk over to her side of the court just to get the ball and serve it again, so to speak.
>>702869801 Well, she didn't really ask for space. But she said she doesn't want to talk about what happened. I said I would let her breathe, because apparently everyone was arguing with her about what I did, which was just me calling her out on how she acted.
>>702868340 >>702868937 i know what she did was bad but shes not normally like that. i think she just wanted to socialise after her holiday.. i felt like an idiot and that we should have just had an argument and left it at that.
i just think if i hadnt have sent her loads of texts on sunday she would have felt really bad and come and seen me to apologise. i couldnt stop myself though
I care about him a lot. Too much, I feel like, but he's great. I mean, he's a regular guy overall, he makes stupid jokes and complains about work and has certain subjects he's really knowledgeable on. He treats me so well, though, that it feels strange and wonderful.
I'm afraid that, over time, I'm going to fall in love with him. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to ask him to commit to me in some way, because I'll want him to be with someone who's perfect. I'll always feel an aching kind of guilt when I somehow disappoint him or can't bring myself to talk to him about something.
> date on and off for 3 years >finally end it she moves away to nyc i stay in college for 1 more year (im a year younger) >im crushed, only girl ive ever cared for, took my v card >never see each other, move on... mostly... at least i'm numb >self sabotage relationships because i feel nothing >2 years later november 2015 > she texts me >you r amazing >i fucked up >im sorry for how hurt you >you deserve apology >i dont deserve you >"you deserve an apology and all the best i could never give you"
>huge spike of depression. initiial reaction is to curse her to hell >want to tell her how fucked i am >want to tell her how i cant seem to feel anymore >want to tell her ill never forgive her. >want to tell her she knew what she was doing to me, but did it anyway. didnt care the damage she knew she was doing.
>dont respond for 2 days, snappy responses were part of what damaged my previous relationships with her. >decide to ultimately tell her its ok, forgive her, i hold no grudge >give her the peace of mind she wants
>further damage myself doing so, basically sacrificed my damaged emotions so she could move on. .in grad school, surrounded by beatiful women. keep to myself getting violent tattoos and probably just seeming like a fucking weirdo
why did she text me again after years of radio silence? was the guilt she felt that extreme? should also mention she told me she loved me then disapeared 2 weeks later from mylife the last time we dated.
i think i am making excuses because i know she can be so grown up but when she drinks she just reverts back to acting like a fucking child. i just need to accept that she wasnt as into it as i was. insomnia not helping much though
>>702861373 I don't know if I am too late or not but I will give you some advice. I have yet to see any other man on here with good advice, everyone seems to be so pussy. What you are doing wrong is that you are being a little bitch, you don't act like a man, and what she wants biologically is a man who can lead. You're probably boring her too and not being very interesting. Do you ever take her out of her house and let her experience new things? When she tells you emotional problems do you try to fix it? That is a sure fire way to lose her, a man will listen to her problems, acknowledge them and move the fuck on and take action. Instead of telling her "I will change" show her that you will change. When you are always waiting or wanting some kind of approval it makes you an approval seeking bitch and not only do you dry up her vagina with that attitude, you also repel her. I am telling you, if you change overnight and do not seek for approval, take action and give her experiences that only you can provide(by being original) she will be surprised and she can't give approval, but more importantly she will feel more happy. Don't be discouraged if she doesn't respond well, keep going, even if it takes weeks you need to show that you can do this. Do you possess any of these qualities? Humor, cooking skill, lots of money, handsome or influential. Focus on one of these at least and perfect it, girls need a man who can take care of them. Well these are the deciding pillars. Make her tummy happy, make her laugh, make her feel wealthy, make her feel lust or make her feel lucky. Look buddy, girls are fucking stupid, they think too much and if you go down the same hole as them, you won't be a winner. That's why you need to be a man. Learn from your mistakes but do not admit to them except to yourself, do not act sad, do not cry openly, do not conform to someones standards, be confident and take her on the adventure of a lifetime. I speak from experience, act now, trust me.
>>702860391 3 years? No chance until you man the fuck up. If she didn't chase you it's not worth it anyways. You must ask her out on a date, not as friends. You must tell her how you feel about her, no bullshit.
>>702850082 It happens to me a lot. I learned long ago that it's better for everyone's sake to just suppress what I'm feeling until I can't not baww anymore.
It's not that people don't care but that, like you said, they just don't understand. If good intentions made a difference, my life would be so much easier.
I just wait and wait until it's no longer an option, and I come here to find a baww thread and talk to my /b/rothers. I feel like you anons always understand. If not the details, then the pain. You are my heroes.
>>702870528 DON'T RESPOND TO IT, IT'S A SHIT TEST AND IF YOU FAIL YOU LOSE HER. Acknowledge it in sort of a mocking way like "meh" don't ride the rollercoaster with her. Don't let her steer the drama. Let her know she doesn't control or affect your feelings and that you don't give a fuck about her mind games.
>>702843293 only last month the police found the two guys who beat my friend to death ( he died 3 years ago ) so i'm not sure what to feel... happy because they finally got caught and jailed or sad because i miss the cunt.
>>702875861 Thanks for the reply, anon. We talked it out. We're going to stay friends, but keep our distance regarding romantic things in our lives. I pretty much said I don't want to be a beta orbiter cuckold, and she agreed and apologized if it seemed like she was going to lead me on with the whole 'not together, but not broken up thing'.
>>702877324 Noooooooooo!! Do not stay friends, not only will she feel like it's an acceptable thing to do to the next guy but you will also make her see you as an option. You need to completely cut off ties, she will either chase you or let you go, if she chases you it means she saw you as an option while she shops other guys like a break. If she doesn't it is over. Give yourself closure while you still can, if you keep being a friend you will end up miserable. Be a man, there is other girls and a man doesn't need female friends that you have been intimate with, man up and move on.
I still remember how pitifully she cried when I broke up with her. My little sweetheart. She lay next to me in my bed. Her, half a planet away from home. She could not go anywhere, she couldn't go home, and I couldn't just throw her out in the streets. We lay there together in the abyss of our torment.
She cried uncontrollably, every sob, every whimper, forever boring deeper into my soul. Like the ghostly voice of a child I had just killed. Every moment making me want to escape the room, the house, the country, the planet, the everything.
The root of my anguish being that the girl I broke up with and the girl I fell in love with were the same, but it was the girl she was in between I couldn't stand to be around anymore. It was as if a demon had killed her and invaded her body, to tortured me. In my mind I'm reminded of how she would complain and accuse, the faces she would make when I didn't get everything just right. Yet all I wanted to see was her smile. However I came to realize that it would by my words that the light in her eyes would be snuffed out.
I can still remember how I would meet her half way between the train station and my dorm when we first started dating. The snow would fall from the dark sky, and we'd be so happy when we saw each other. The kisses and the laughter, how she grasped my arm as we walked together, it still torments me to this day. Not a day goes by without thinking about her; without mourning her.
To this day, walking along on a snowy night, it is almost as if I can see her come towards me. And my heart jumps, right before it dies yet again.
>>702869627 I've felt that way before and it really doesn't matter if she deserves something better or if you are not what you think she needs. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts i guess... you never know if you'll ever have it again
You guys seem to have good advice, so... >is schizoaffective, bipolar type(basically paranoid schizophrenic with rapid-cycling mood swings) >has congenital heart problems and only one good kidney due to an ex stabbing me >medication used to control psychotic symptoms affects health due to kidneys and extremely high blood pressure
I can't make relationships anymore, because when people find out everything, they give up on me. They're afraid to be close to someone they know they're going to lose soon, it seems.. What should I do?
>broke up with the girl i love cause it didnt work out, she refuses to have any contact with me even though shes stil friends wither her abusive ex >long distance best friend of 5 years completelY fucks me off, is bitchy too me and blocks me on everything with no reasoning >realise im not doing what i want in college but cant get out of it >drinking problems and depression come back
>>702878717 >>702845607 Apparently it's fiction, something doesn't match up with the story when one of the obituaries for anon's GF (supposedly Nicole Carol Miller) state:
>Miller made an impulsive decision to fly to the East Coast to vacation with a friend. The couple toured Manhattan landmarks and New Jersey boardwalks and beaches before boarding separate flights to return home. A thunderstorm on the evening of September 10 forced Miller to re-schedule her flight to the next morning.
If it is true, I hope anon found peace, especially with the 15th anniversary coming around.
I've got a story I need to get off my chest, but don't know who to tell without feeling like a piece of shit.
>be me >21 >move away from home because I wanted to experience life on my own >too lazy to talk to my family because it's always the same conversation >months go by >mom calls to tell me my dad is in the hospital in a diabetic coma >ends up passing because of complications >go home and visit a few days >come back because I have a job and shit >next morning I am going through my drawer looking for my work clothes >I find the first dress socks my dad let me borrow for my 8th grade graduation >kept those socks all throughout high school and used them every nice occasion I went to >first dates, school get togethers, job interviews >realize I never got to thank him enough for everything he did for me >I end up calling in to work and crying like a baby in my room the whole day
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