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What's the last good deed you did. No lying edition.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 192
Thread images: 31
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What's the last good deed you did. No lying edition.
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>>702831092
About a week ago, I bought someone on here Dragon Age Origins.
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>>702831092
Some of us don't live to serve, faggot. Fuck everyone who's not me.
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>>702831797
Do you need a hug?
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I farted in an elevator while no-one but me was in it.
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>>702831908
I could use a back rub, i suppose.
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>>702831092
passed the joint
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>>702832065
Do something good and you may at least deserve it.
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>>702831092
Posted a pic of a guy fucking a dead cat on /b/. Was banned for two weeks
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>>702831797
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>>702832221
i deserve it when i pay for it every week because i work. Go write "karma" on a broom stick and shove it up your ass.
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>>702832419
If that's edgy then you're either a bleeding heart college kid or a child. No one's here for you, guy. I thought you autists didn't believe in god; Yet you believe in karma?
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>>702831638
Honestly anyone who does this is 100% good in the karma department DA:O is amazing
Pic related, my waifu
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Gave my burger to a stray dog.
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Got rid of the muslim infection.
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>>702831092
Bought a round of drinks for the kitchen staff at a restaurant I ate at
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about a month ago I spent 3 weekends painting a buddies house with him free of charge
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>>702832417
Thank you for removing yourself from the community for 2 weeks I suppose, but you can do better
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>>702831638
Dide it was like 7 bucks not that much
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>>702832740
It's not karma, not every good deed deserves a reward. You do good deeds because they are the right thing to do.
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>>702833048
I'm more an alistar girl myself
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I opened the door for myself
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>>702831092
I ended the instruments for killing myself
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>>702832547
Bravo. Even better when you don't pay tax.
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>>702833941
>Alistair
>the delicious spaghetti falling by the pounds from his armor every time you hint at fucking his brains out
>Morrigan's fw

Alistair confirmed as best husbando in the series.
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Gave my bus seat to an older lady, smiled at people walking past and said hello, included a person left out of a conversation etc.

>it's nice to see these threads on /b/
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>>702831092
I don't know, I haven't spoken to anybody but my parents in a while. I guess I held the door open for someone when I went to the doctors. I also tried to make one of my friends feel better after a break up. Oh, and I tipped the hair dresser because he was nice to me and did a nice job on my hair.
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I occasionally buy games for my third world friends who can't afford them
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>>702834643
Cunt off normie
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>>702834591
Yea he's so god damn akward its cute
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>be me at work a month ago in the hood. Drunk Mexican comes over to where working and gets in face, politely back down. 10 minutes later drunk Mexican harassing woman and making her cry. Whoop his ass, get arrested and have woman make statement against me. Drunk Mexican is her son and I attacked him. FTW
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>>702831092

Saw some motorcyclist stranded on the side of the road, he had some old piece of shit he was trying to restore. I helped him put it in the bed of my truck, tied it with some rope and gave him a ride home. This took about an hour out of my day, but saved him a shitload in towing fees or an assload of time waiting for a friend with a truck to swing by. I've helped people move in the not-too-distant past, bought some homeless people some meals.

But ultimately I'm a cop, and it seems like every day (at LEAST every week) I overlook a shitload of tickets and arrestable offenses. I always throw out weed or whatever personal amount of some drug, I don't write tickets to people for little piddly shit (I pull them over on it, just to see if they're wanted for anything or just to say I did a traffic stop). I'm extremely patient and never really lose my cool. Sometimes some motherfuckers need to go, though, because their families are tired of their shit or they just won't calm down or there's an actual victim who deserve justice.

So I guess I can say the last good deed I did was be a good cop.
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>>702834922
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>>702831092
5 days a week I wake up knowing that 10 hours of my day will be spent taking care of 8 mentally dissabled adults, does that count for something at least?
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>>702833834
Aim for profitable deeds.. and feel even better about them when they don't hurt others as this gives less of a risk to receive societal punishment later.

The ultimate reward is thriving. If you need to do good to feel better about yourself then something inside is wrong with you.
>>
I give blood on a regular basis, every few months.
But giving money to charitys only makes the world worse.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2016/jan/11/population-growth-in-africa-grasping-the-scale-of-the-challenge
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>>702835237
Damn man respect respect
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>>702835011
indeed
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>>702832740
it's not about karma you colossal faggot.it feels good to do good things. compassion is natural and healthy. i know you are not happy
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>>702834750
>Thinks third world friends can afford computers
>Doesn't realize he's litteraly being cucked by americunts with no dignity

Yes, yes, I know. Americunt and no dignity is kinda superflous.
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>>702831092
Stood up against my colleagues on behalf of someone who couldt do it themselves.
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>>702835237
Yes
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On Friday I gave my mother $140 so that she could drive up north and visit my elderly uncle.
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>>702831092
Gave Miesha Tate the cock because she said she has horny
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I had sex Sunday, so does that count?
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>>702832740
Not everyone is a psyhopath without empathy
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>>702835609
Well arent you an edgy eurofag go back to shooing muslims off your porch
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>>702835011
you're a good guy. keep it up mate
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>>702835801
*psychopath
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>>702835235
Gets better than that, I'm a habitual offender and my last acod for fleeing police, threatening a public safety official and wanton disregard for public and private property is being brought up lol
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>>702835713
Ahh you're a nice guy I'm being serious btw>>702835760
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Bought my friend lunch today. No reason. He's just a good friend and decided to show him some appreciation.
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>>702833626
>letting employees drink on the job
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>>702835011
Racist
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>>702835995
GOD DAMNIT STOP DOING THAT 4CHAN
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>>702831092
Gave a friend 2000$ so he can go visit his dying mother. Yesterday.
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>>702836018
He didn't say they were on shift they were proably closed
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I like seeing these threads. The kind of people that shit on nice threads should be sterilised
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>>702835609
>Is currently in a 3rd world shithole
>Entire house has laptops and smartphones
>No running water or power on weekends

Yea, youre fucking dumb. We can get this shit easily, but goddamn do we need the basics
>>
I've been helping two undocumented families in my neighbourhood fly under the radar for years now.

Nothing keeps the blacks out like a neighbourhood full of armed eastern europeans and Hispanics.
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>>702835859
>Shooing muslims off my porch
>Not pretending to have invited them in to avoid the embarrassment of confronting the break-in

It's like you think I'm some kind of racist. You even know I'm no Trump voting redneck already.
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>>702835237
Absolutely. Where the fuck would they be w/out people like you? Respect due.
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>>702835594
And yet you don't understand why it makes you feel good, servant.

I'll keep being the faggot you say i am and you keep being the idiot i know you are.
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Saw a homeless guy in town told him id get him a steak pasty on way back for the train, got him one and a coke on the way back
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>>702835011
Thank you for that.

You or somebody like you let me go twice on minor shit and I haven't forgotten it. It probably would have rekt my life in my youth even though now I'm a generally good, law-abiding person. Some people grow up if given a chance.
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>>702836393
You are Satan, fucking die
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>>702836234
I guess that makes sense. And I would have done the same had I been that last minute motherfucker that makes them dirty the kitchen up again 15 minutes from closing time.
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>>702831092
Neighbor accidently locked 6 month old in her car with the keys in the driveway while in a rush. Car was not on. Florida summer heat. I smashed the front driver window and unlocked the doors for her. She sent me a thankyou card. Feelsgoodman
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>>702835801
well, higher thought process is difficult for most. If more people tried to manage their emotions better then maybe i'd be interested in having a few myself.
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>>702834750
Same

I also bought a gaming PC for one of my really poor friends all the way in India. He played the hell out of it until he passed away a year later. He didn't have anything going on in his life so I'm glad I was able to give him many hours of fun before he had to go.

Miss you Ady.
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I make a lot of money so I pay for my family and friends whenever we are out. Also make sure to tip well. No skin off my back but people are very appreciative
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>>702831092
Being a parent, and the only one who stuck around. Never let my kid down.
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>>702831797
>>702832065
>>702832547
>>702834416
I applaud you my good sir, the world needs some tough love.
As long as you aren't an asshole on purpose
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>>702834760
Ok :(
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>>702832417
I have seen that pic

menh, it's /b/
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>>702831092
I let someone go ahead of me at the methadone clinic
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>>702837431
no, fuck you and your friend. you think the world needs tough love because you're mad about shit you can't do anything about. this thought process is the most beta of them all
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Driveing down highway one day. It was raining. See guy on opposite side of highway (divider between us). Hes standing outside his car with his hood up and jumper cables hanging on his open door. Ppl keep driving right past him. I find an opening down the road do a u-y and drive back to give him a jump.
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>>702831092
You really made me think here... I usually tend to be nice to people, but i don't really see it as a good deed. There have been countless times when i gave up my seat to grans in the bus, or mediated in a conflict between some friends, setting it down; kept company and looked after an ill friend in three occasions, but i never thought it could count as a good deed... more like "it's a natural thing to do". But when it's about doing something for others even if that means putting myself at a disadvantge... i can't remember doing that sort of thing at all. Now i feel like a monster.
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>>702837838
It's not always easy. Especially when you have the fear.
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>>702837838
Got a family member on the stuff. Hope ya get better man
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>>702838052
Or when your sick
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>>702836581

You've obviously never seen 10 people flood the streets and beat the shit out of some guy hotwiring a car, then. It's glourious.
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>>702838067
I appreciate it, I'm lowering my dose gradually
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>>702837838
Also, stick with it. No, it's not better to stay high because it's hard to get off the juice.
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Was in a card shop getting an anniversary card for my gf when some old woman walks in with Parkinsons. I ended up reading out about 30 cards before she chose one for her granddaughter and wrote it for her afterwards. The entire time the cashier just watched me do it.
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>>702837916
>can't do anything about

The tough people who tell you the truth you don't want to hear are the ones that can push themselves harder. The universe wants you dead. Face it and keep going.
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>>702837127
Sounds sad man. Good on ya for making the rest of his life enjoyable
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>>702833692
Good job partner.
>>
Impregnated someone. Just over 5 years ago
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>>702836538
you are mentally ill
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>>702831092
Every week I hand money to 3 veterans and a homeless woman.
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i sold most my drugs for half there worth
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Be me, 1980's
watch saturday morning cartoons
always interrupted to show starving kids in africa
people give like crazy for decades
popuolation of africa explodes
flood into white countries
still starving kids in africa, people still giving like crazy, population still exploding


yes I know I'm a newfag and can't greentext
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>>702831092
warning coalburners of the danger they will likely face.
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>>702833736
Then go buy it for a random anon and do the good deed
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>>702836429
I didn't mean that as a racist thing i meant that as a common European practice thing
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>>702831092
I... I can't remember
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>>702838277
i pity you
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No lying edition eeehh!

Well I witnessed an assualt on a nun on the street by a gang of niggers with nun-chucks. Told them to stop, they charged me instead. I quickly dropped my pants to my ankles and put my hands on the ground. After they were done fucking me the nun gave me a blessing.
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Bought a sandwich for a homeless man yesterday, and spent about an hour today talking to a terrifying schizo old woman that was clearly driven mad by loneliness.
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>>702838269
and how was your 4 some? Did the parkinsons lady surprise you?
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>>702838546
All you have to do is put a fucking > at the start of every line you absolute fucking retard
>>
Used to work at a game store, sold everything from atari to ps4 to dvds to bluray, etc.

Lot of broke families come in since we have the biggest PS2/PS3 etc generations available.

Fast forward

Ran into an old customer while getting food, he was one of those broke guys. Ended up buying him food.


Recently on RS3, I go around finding low level players wearing welfare gear and giving them shit. P fun
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>>702838731
cool. You wanna fuck or something now?
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>>702837981
Anon, just being nice is a good deed. You care for your friends. You help strangers for no reward. You reflect on your actions and evaluate yourself. If that doesn't show you're empathetic and care for others, i don't know what does.
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>>702838873
Fuck. Kek.
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>>702837916
I'm mad because I work a lot, pay taxes and those taxes go to sit that it should not go to, like people who HATE us

dumbass
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>>702834750
stop smoking idiot
thanks for trying to be nice but dear god just stop it's fucking stupid
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>>702838269
Lol fucking cashier must have been a, nvm.
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>>702838969
yeah I'm down for that
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>>702834748
>he
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>>702838355
Mhmm. So? i'm still right.
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Payin me taxes
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>>702838879
Just so you can read it in green
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>>702839431
Kay. How do we hook up?
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>>702839046
thanks anon. you've just gifted me with a smile.
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>>702835011
>So I guess I can say the last good deed I did was be a good cop.
please dear god ignore all the faggots with their lives matter bullshit and their anti police attitude.
it's a fucked up time we live in.
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>>702839221
where do u live that ur taxes go to the president of zimbabwe?¿?
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>>702839650
It's just easier to follow you fucking sperg. No one wants to read a white jumbled up fucking mess.
Just carry on lurking until you stop being a complete faggot.
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>>702839695
Well, I'm in England, on the east coast. Where are you?
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I let my sperg friend shoot hoops with me. I mainly just didn't want to practice alone, though.
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>>702839877
He didn't say pic related you fucking retard.
And if his taxes went to the president of Zimbabwe it would be fairly easy to assume he lived in fucking Zimbabwe.
>>
>Be me, approximately 2 weeks ago.
>In car behind another that gets hit from side by pickup at quiet intersection.
>AwwwShiiit.jpg
>Get out to assist those in front. Guy in pickup is having a fit and I drag him out of pickup on to pavement as boiling water spraying wildly from radiator of other car. Placed him where it was safe. My GF stayed with him.
>Seen to other two people, husband and wife who got side smashed by pickup. Husband who was driving in bad way and fell unconscious as I approached vehicle. Wife screaming as car is smoking and hot water spraying into their car also.
> Checked husband as priority - was conscious after accident but as now lost consciousness have to treat as priority. Pupils not fully responsive and blood on head indicating head impact. Has steady pulse and shallow (but not too bad) breathing.
>Checking for any breaks or fractures to husband who took full impact. Seems his collar bone and shoulder may be fractured due to the level of bruising coming through and slight wobble when pressed. Not responsive to pain.
> Wife by now has made her own way out of car - no other vehicles around. Wife falls to floor in a panic attack. I now have two people to deal with at once. I have emergency training from military - my GF does not, so she starts panicing too.
> As husband is stable to an extent I continue to monitor him, whilst trying to talk to wife to calm her down.
>Clearly In Shock.png
>All of a sudden husband grunts and blood gushes from nose - head injury just got serious. Likely bleeding on brain.
>Check head for wound and notice wobble on skull indicating fracture from deep laceration where head his glass.
>Need to drag husband from car but is jammed by door and seatbelt. Knife out, cut seatbelt and get sprayed with blood in process.
>Drag husband out to attempt treatment. Have medic bag at ready - still no ambulance.
>Packed head to compress and reduce blood loss from head and accessed ice to reduce swelling.
>AwwwwFuuuuck.mpg
>Cont.
>>
Skipped attending college to move in and help take care of my aunt after her husband snapped and assaulted her and smashed a bunch of shit in her house up.

Not going to school sucks, but at least I feel like I made the right choice.
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>>702831092
I resist the urge to beat the fuck out of stupid people, honostly in 1 day at work i come across 4 to 5 people manlets who think there shit doesn't stink and i know in my heart they need a proper fucking beating.
But i cant do it.obviously i would lose my job..
Thinking about poisoning them with iodine..just to teach them a lesson ..
Dont be assholes to everyone.
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>>702839877

The US spends a ton on foreign aid to African countries, including Zimbabwe. And many African countries abuse the money if not extensively monitored or preferably directly administered to the people.
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>>702831092

went to deliver pizza which was 17,50. it was late so at night, and the man of the wife who ordered the food came out with 50. i gave him 20 and his 12,50 in change, however he didnt look at the receit and asked; do you keep the change? i said yes and he proceed to gave me all the change ( 12,50 ). i was overwhelmed and not sure if that was his idea, so i called his house when i was back to check if he knew howmuch he gave me. He didnt know because he thought the pizzas were more expensive. so i drove to his house and gave his money back
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>>702840754
hurry up
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>>702840269
Other side of the planet. Sad. I've never gay'd before.
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>>702840890
Aw is da wittle baby upset someone twiggered him?

Dumb frogposter.
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>>702840754
(Cont)
>Husband stops breathing.
>Lift husbands head back and attempt CPR.
>By this time pick up driver has stopped fitting and is snoozing on side. GF panicing.
>Wife notices and runs over screaming at me to do something.
>GF tries to drag wiife off me to calm her down.
>Continue CPR.
>End up with face full of blood when husband eventually breathes and coughs in my face.
>This Isn't How I wanted my day to turn out.jpg
>Wife runs over again and grabs husband's head to stroke him. Not a good idea I push her away - unable to determine if any side impact injuries to spine.
>Stress and trauma make you dumb.
>Continue observations on husband until EMT arrives with fire.
>Get called good guy and husband taken away. Report given to police who turn up shortly afterwards.
>Apparently told I saved his life as head injury was severe. After coma to reduce swelling, I received a letter thanking me as well as offer of money.
>Imma good fag - decline money as just did what I would have done to anyone.
>Ended up in local news as newsfag.

wweeeeewww... how good am I b?
>>
>>702839877
It's not just zimbabwe, it's all of africa.
Pretty much all developed countries of the world give aid, mostly because of the U.N.
That money comes, in large part from taxes.
Did I really have to spell this out to you ?
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>>702840428
wow learn something new everyday :^)
>>
A month ago I found a purse in a shopping cart in the parking lot of the supermarket. Didn't even open it, walked it in and gave it to the manager (with plenty of witnesses to keep her honest). Live in a small town, I'm sure she got it back. I have to admit on the drive home I really got curious as to what was in it.
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>>702840754

Shoulda just driven on by anon.

I can't handle shit like that.
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>>702841800

>DECLINED THE MONEY
>THE MONEY
>>
>>702841800
good job anon. A few years back I was at my uncle's tractor store for the grand opening when a guy on a motorcycle got hit by a car in front of the shop. My mom and sister who are both nurses ran out to him but he was killed in the crash. They were able to take off his helmet and bring him back. Ambulance showed up right after he came back, would've stayed dead if it weren't for my mom and sister. That was some crazy shit to watch. Never heard from him though.
>>
Gave a poem I just wrote to a cop who helped me navigate a lake
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>>702841800
Probably saved his life. Nice anon.
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>>702840131
In other words, yes, just so you can read it in green.
And if I keep on lurking in /b/ I will become a complete faggot
just like you
>>
>>702841800
Good work. I hear AIDS isn't a death sentence these days.
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>>702841612
That's a shame. Yeah I'd be more of a giver and I suspect you would be too, it was never going to work. See ya later bud
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>>702831092
Fucked a fat ugly girl with small tits and a flat ass.
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>>702842473
that's hilarious
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>>702842126

why get paid to save someones life faggot?

people should do this anyway.

Didn't even go into the time approx April where I stepped in to stop some gurl getting fucked up by 4 nigs.

>Out with GF on night out. Sure GF is unlucky!
>GF hears noise around corner as we walk down street.
>Take look.png
>4 nigs in hoods are pushing a young girl around trying to mug her. Calling her white trash and honky slut.
>GF tries to grab me, but Imma already gone.
>White gurl punched in face and has knife shown.
>Imma Leeeeeroooy Jeeeenkkkiiiiins.wav
>Flying kick to head guy with blade. Blade flies to other side of alley way in by the bins.
>Other three nigs turn - fight mode active.
>1 nig out cold - 3 to go.
>End up taking another down before something hard, probably bottle, thrown at my head (didn't smash).
>Imma bleeding, but fucking adrenaline is awesome!
>Bleeding just makes me fight harder bitches.
>End up taking all three down. 2 k.o. 1 on floor holding his jaw and scrambling for his cellphone and other is trying to drag unconscious nig away.
>Police not far away - hear sirens.
>Help gurl up who's crying - GF runs towards me looking concerned at blood.
>Nigs all run down block.
>Get called a hero by GF.

Upside is, kink sex on tap with GF .
>>
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>>702843286
you used the girl as an excuse to beat up black men didn't you anon
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>>702843286

its simple. they offer you money because you did something nice, yes everyone else would do it. but if they dont need the money i sure would take it. since it would help me
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>>702842926
Did it feel good to give ?
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>>702832740
don't listen the haters anon you know what's up. let the poor faggots starve.
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>>702842451

yeah - never get really used to seeing people die. Especially if you know them anon.

I'm military fag and seen this first hand - fucking hurts bro. Been shot myself in ass - not life threatening though - just sucks. Shrapnel wound to side too. But bros from military - losing these is hard.

getting shot in the ass by the way is just plain embarrassing!! Fuckers!
>>
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>>702842864
It hasn't been a death sentence for quite a while, as long as you can get the meds of course
>>
>>702832417
I post a pic of a guy fucking a kitten. I was banned for 2 weeks too. Why?
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>>702843539

money not everything bro.

imma good fag. Not a white knight. Just on the right side of the good-o-meter.
>>
>>702843740

Only if the blood enters me through open wound or fluid exchange bro. It's all good - imma pro.
>>
>>702843286
I would like to believe but pics or it didn't happen
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>>702843796
Lurk moar
>>
>>702844032

kek

Next time anon. I'll wear my go pro next time!
>>
>be me last week
>walking up short concrete ramp to office building
>hear a little commotion at the top of the ramp
>mom with baby in a stroller pleading with her toddler running down the ramp to slow down
>dad holding what looks like another baby that might have been born yesterday is and also pleading with toddler to slow down
>kiddo with huge smile on his face running full speed (for a toddler) down the ramp and giving zero fucks about warning from his parents because toddler
>toddler trips on his own feet because toddler
>smile quickly vanishes from toddler's face
right place right time
>I go down on one knee and catch toddler about 6" before he hits the ground
>toddler looks at me confused because toddler and runs back up the ramp to mom
>bro fist from dad
>mom thanks me about a dozen times
everything went better than expected for the rest of the day
>>
>>702831092
i didnt try to seduce my cousin
>>
>>702840890
How did you pass 5th grade with that spelling dude
>>
>>702844265

did you get to fuck mom? Blowjob at least?
>>
>>702843539

so accepting money is bad

right. you sure are a white-knight.
>>
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>>702831092
I try to be a good person pretty much all the time
I don't litter (at least as much as most people)
Say "please" and "thank you" and "you're welcome"
and I repost dank mems
I'm a racist, but only to niggers and sandniggers who deserve it
sometimes it's the little things
>>
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>>702842838
>I know you are but what am I
Wow you really got me there kiddo
>>
>>702840890

>I'm retarded or at least severely autistic
>Everyone else is a manlet who's shit doesn't stink
>Don't want to lose my part time job or mom will take away my GBPs
>>
>>702844406

no
>>
>>702845225
>I know you are but what am I
Either it is just one faggot with limited imagination and a ton of time on it's hands, or that is a growing/forced meme on 4chan
>>
I did no good deeds, I'm a worthless contribution to society
>>
I found a bag of coke and threw it in a sewer the other day
>>
>>702831092
My wife and I we're on a bike ride, going up a hill. A woman was pushing her bike down the hill, and asked if we by chance had a tool to fix brakes on a bike. I did indeed have my Specialized multi-tool. While my wife chatted with her, I fixed her brakes, and sent her on her way.
>>
>>702845467
Well it's pretty much the same as 'no u' which is forced as fuck.
It's worse though.
>>
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>>702842838
>>702845225
The way I put it was much better
nigger
>>
>>702844745

Nope.

But they were husband and wife anon. They didn't look rich themselves - just happy they're alive.

Why should you expect a reward for doing something good. I don't do shit for that.

Idealist Fag maybe? I just don't like good people getting shit on - and that was real fucking unlucky! If you were in that position, would you offer cash reward anon?

I'd prefer it if the person just saved my life. Nothing white knight about it - just human... unlike you basement dwelling mutant.
>>
>>702845666
Witnessed
>>
>>702845666
Satan himself
>>
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>>702831092
I provided cp to internet pedos
>>
Caught a bat stuck in a sears store and let it out
>>
>>702846105
>far-left
Yeah, right.
>>
>>702832740
>Literally 17 years old
>>
Bought a homless guy food yesterday
>>
>>702831092
i've murdered a jew when i was in another country, travelling with my father.
i'm not sure anyone knows he's dead because he was a hitchhiker and probably far away from home too.
after i dumped his body into the woods neaby, i immediately left, travelling for 10 hours non stop.
top kek, would kill a rat again.
>>
>>702841800
Post news story
>>
>>702835237
Bethesda???
>>
I bought land and i built my wifes grandparents a house.
>>
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>>702848155
>>
>>702849379
kek
>>
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>>702848155
Land AND a title
>>
>>702849379
This made me laugh. Well done anon
>>
Paid a sugar baby money so she could help out her retarded mother
>>
>>702846105
Well at the very least it made the left look bad
>>
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>>702848149
8/10 made me lol.
I live on site at a residential care facility, so I spend a lot of time with my clients both on and off the clock.
Thread replies: 192
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