>>702743879 I remember when I was 10 or 11 I found this book at my friend's house and read it. I didn't think much of it until I started walking home. At first I got mad and thought it was stupid; then it became the first time I realised my parents would die. My Grandfather had died but that made sense to me because he was old; then I realised my parents would get old as well. I got madder and madder then right as I was walking through the path to get home I broke down and started sobbing. I basically just hid in my room and said I had allergies when they asked why my eyes were red.
>>702747450 I'm a grill, I can't provide tits with timestamp at the moment. I understand if you don't believe me about being a femanon, it's not like it makes me special or more important than you anyway.
>i saw a lot of pictures on a thread about 20 minutes ago >they showed lonely young adukts looking miserable at their birthday surrounded by food >aw food I thought about it and for a while now i realized sonething. Whenever i have a horrible day, or go through sonething traumatic, life is just like "here have done food, everything is fine" >i used to fall for it Now i just stare >im not hungry
>>702741545 >be me >be 16 >dad says get a fucking job >grandma tells me they need help at her retirement home >housekeeping >Enjoy the work >enjoy the people and their stories >enjoy helping them with their day to day stuff >I even hang around after work talking to people >years go by >see people come and go >some go by way of the front door to other facilities >some go by way of the service elevator escorted by the coroner >get to know Ruth >84 years old when I first meet her when I'm about 18 >Her and I chat while playing chess >she used to play for some soviet country >we have long talks well into the night playing one or two games >As the years pass I watch her health deteriate >She only ever talks about her past, like her parents and brothers and sisters who have died >for all I know she's all that's left >on her 95th birthday I have a special chess set that I made out of ebony and kingwood. I machined pieces out of titanium and anodized them a deep golden bronze and a light purple >its my day off and I go in to see her >knock on her door and it opens >a woman is there "can I help you?" >see another woman and two men >"I'm here to see Ruth for our chess game" >"Ruth passed away this morning. I'm her daughter." >shocked >speechless >the news hit me like a Mac truck >"i-i-i-i'm so sorry." >"Anon is it? hmm? Yeah?" >nod >"Well if you think we're letting you get away with this you have another thing coming" >slams door on my face >walk out and down to the kitchen and collapse in a chair >losing a resident never hurt this bad >sit there all night unable to move >manager takes me home in the morning >tells me to take all the time I need and they'll cover my work >a week goes by >Monday morning getting ready >Open the door to a guy in a suit >"Mr Mous? Anon Y. Mous?" >"Who are you?" >"Hi my name is Jew Sheckleton, I'm the lawyer for Ruth's estate, if you have a minute, I'd like to sit down and talk with you." >She changed her will only a month after we met.
>>702749013 >Every month after she had changed her will she sent copies of her phone bill and visitor log to her lawyer. >only person other than me to visit her was her hospice nurse, the priest, and her doctor, >family contests the will in court. >her will specifically points out how her children never visited her, and I was the only person who did >they accuse me of beguiling her, and manipulating her, and all this evil shit. >I tell the lawyer, fuck it. it's not worth it >35 million dollar estate went to her kids that hadn't seen her in 20 years.
The lawyer told me that in all honesty it would be a long drawn out protracted litigation because of the size of the estate. their lawyer would villify me, would go in and try to dig up shit on me to show how I was manipulating old people.
He said the chance of winning was 50/50 but it could of taken a year or more. wasn't worth it to me.
>>702743542 This doesn't give me the Feels; it makes me excited. It throws the magnitude of life in my face, demanding I cherish the singular perspective I'm privileged to experience. Every life I do have the opportunity to break the surface of is another entire soul allowing my brief look.
here i am, 1:52, i have to wake up early tomorrow but i cant sleep, i have tears about to fall but i still cant cry, i am just so tired of my life, i've been just accepting whatever destiny/life has to give me and it's always the same, it shows me something, tells me that i'll be happy with it, gives me a little taste of how it is going to be, then punches me in the kidneys and laughs at my face as that bitch called life takes it away and i'm left broken again, it has always been like this, i'm just sick of this happening every time, i dont want to wake up anymore, i always tell myself "that little happiness is worth it" but it isn't, is it too much to ask for ANYTHING to go well? please someone make me fucking cry once and for all, i need to be able to do it and vent all the shit i have inside
>>702751235 Well, I don't even know what kik is. Some chat media probably >Google is your friend Not now Google >>702751331 This is why I usually avoid this kind of threads in the late night >>702750723 I dunno, I take it as a reference, as the bottom of the barrel, like the begining of the end.So I try to stay as far as possible of that kind of state. Don't know If I make myself clear sorry for bad english
>>702751801 It's ok, you'll get the full experience someday. I promise. I thought the same thing, but I started putting in that little extra effort and it paid off. Go out of your comfort zone. Approach a couple guys to make friends. Ask that hot girl out on a date. Take some interviews for really good jobs. You can do it man, you know why? Because I believe in you. That may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to me, anon.
>>702749722 You may as well have spit on her corpse. It was the last act of her life that she could give meaning to. In her old age there was nothing she could give you back, as your handmade chess set ...but then she wanted to give you what would be left of her hereafter. And you gave it to a bunch of assholes so you wouldn't have to deal with their crying! Her kids won't be giving a cent to charity. Fuck you. You stole the meaning of her death.
Fuck /b/ros. I'm breaking up with my girlfriend eventually. Its gonna hurt like shit but I can't be with someone who doesn't love me anymore. This is my life everyone I thought that cared about me just drifted away.
I don't know whether to be mad or sad just I'm so fucking emotionally anf mentally confuses and exhausted.
>>702752636 thanks anon, but i have friends, i talk to girls without any problem, i can socialize, the thing is that i can't find love, the only thing that actually make me happy, the thing that motivates me, the only girl who ever loved me was a 15 y/o with bipolar disorder, after that one, for every other girl i've been with ended with "you are a great guy anon, but i'm not ready for/i dont want something serious/still feel something for my ex" i'm always the great guy who is just left alone besides "being perfect for her" everyone that knows me thinks that i'm a great friend/guy, when i just treat people like i would like someone to treat me, but no, life doesn't give a shit about how you are to people, you still don't get shit because fuck me, why would i even deserve it
>>702752791 fuck, well then look at >>702753551 for love and friends, i cant finish any kind of proyect i start, be it music, building something, whatever the fuck, i cant bring myself to start anything because of how depressed i feel, i cant even clean up my room, i cant feel like anything is worth doing something
I honestly feel the same man. Hobestly some nights I can't even fall asleep until 4:00 am cause my heads just filled with so much bad thoughts. I just wake up and hope and wish nothing bad happens thst day. Some days it never does but I cant get over the feeling that everything good I receive in life sometimes just suddenly just vanishes. Friends, close family and now even my fucking girlfriend. Fuck
>>702753301 Not either of those anons, but for me, hopes you could say. An idea of a stronger Human species, a drive to improve it and guide it. At the very least anons, if you can find a girl, make a better life for your children. Our written history, a sense of past and future, that is what makes humanity so great. Strive to be apart of that, and make a better tomorrow.
>>702753301 What inspires me to go on? I just yearn to experience. To be. This world in a wonderful place. Maybe not in a positive connotation, but it's just full of things waiting to be analyzed and felt. I push forward because I love the minutiae of life. The occasional remarkable event is great too, but I just appreciate the little seconds I get. Besides, there's not much else to do besides living except dying, and that's gonna happen later anyways. Might as well just fuckin do it while it lasts. If your main problem is that you feel uninspired or apathetic to your surroundings, just know it's not the world you live in, it's you. Mindset is very important. >>702753551 Just keep looking my dude, you'll find it. That sounds so cliche but I really mean it.
>>702754093 i feel you man, i've been through ending a relationship because it brought more pain than happiness, and i totally reflect in the > I just wake up and hope and wish nothing bad happens thst day. Some days it never does but I cant get over the feeling that everything good I receive in life sometimes just suddenly just vanishes it seems that anything good that i get just slowly disappears into darkness everytime, and that feeling that there's something missing even when nothing bad happened
>>702754731 Anon, are you me? Perfectly describes how I feel each day. It's probably why I rarely get my hopes up for anything anymore. I wish we all knew eachother irl and could get together for a drink.
>>702755052 i doubt that you are from argentina, but anyways i wish the same, i don't have a friend with who i connect in my depressed mode, and a beer or a fernet would be nice, maybe i'll open up that flask of whiskey i bought the other day
My cat got out the Wednesday before last. My mom found him in a field about 100 feet from our house on Monday. He had been gone for days and had died of starvation or dehydration. I miss him so much, and the thought of him being here two weeks ago and now hes gone just makes me even more depressed. I can give more details if anyone wants some d-tier feels.
>>702754123 I get ya /b/ro. Same here. Love you say? From who? >>702754423 >stronger Human species Physically good, not getting sick nor any other type of problems, but mentally weak. I blame the society. I blame the media. I blame myself and I feel shitty for not having what everybody seems to have. For feeling that I'll be incomplete unless I get a girlfriend. For not having someone to hug or cuddle. For not sharing the joy of what I belive is "life". So I keep on going and hope that change will happen. If not by myself by somebody else. But I try to move foward and say it's "just a bad period" >>702754656 Damn right anon, thanks for the advice, I think I have to love life for what is and not for what I expect it to be, and to learn to love myself.
>>702756109 at the moment there isn't anyone giving it, so, anyone i could find and feel something mutual beyond friendship would be enough, family and friends are what keeps me here, but without love i don't function
>doggo died recently >liver cancer >mum took her to vets night before and left her overnight >came back the next day pre-op to tell them not to wake her back up if it's inoperable >it was >doggo i had for 15 years died on a cold steel table, surrounded by strangers
Been wanting to get this one out there. >be me >be 16 >reserved, chill, sophomore in highschool >also a drawfag >walk into Chemistry and see the cutest 8/10 I have ever seen >sit next to her >plan out a smooth-ass hello >"um...hi." >she smiles, mouth full of braces and cute as hell. >spend next few months talking >finally work up the courage to ask her out >says yes, everything is good for about 6 months >she's very aggressive, yells a lot, doesn't like a lot of my friends >try to calm her down a lot >isn't having any of it >things worsen and eventually we have this relationship ending argument >"anon, you're a piece of shit, hope you mess up your next relationship like this one." >says she regrets her relationship with me >she was right >next gf barley lasted 7 months >left me for some girl
>>702756109 Indeed anon is that not the story of our species? What did our great grand parents and grandparents say about living during ww2? During the wars, famines, droughts, catastrophes? Every age is something new, something terrible. This is something humans have been dealing with for as long as we have been homo-sapiens-sapiens, and probably before that even. You need to be present and active in your own life, at the very least present.
>>702758867 dude you're an idiot. she is clearly cheating on you with conor. she sent him a bra pic, what else do you think might've been sent that you don't know about? she cried on his shoulder over this, and now he's smashing her sweet vag. move the fuck on, she has.
>>702757664 Thanks anon. Burying her was the hardest thing i've ever done. I went back to my parent's house after work (mum called me to let me know while i was on shift), and they'd put her in her bed with a blanket draped over her. My dad was just lying next to her on the floor, stroking her lifeless face. Not once in over 21 years have i ever seen my dad cry, but he cried then, we all did.
Please everyone, remember to love your pets as much as you can while they're still here. You're all they have.
>>702758685 jesus christ bro, you guys broke up. Get over it. You want her to respond? You apologize for being a drunk fuck, and then tell her that the only reason you didn't drive to her place to be a drunk ass hole is because you were persuaded not to. Why would she want to talk to you? fuck people are losers, why the fuck did I read that
Guys, I need help here man. I know this isn't the right thread, and I don't want to keep talking about my problems, but can someone guide me?
I have been talking to this girl for a month, so this isn't me being autistic. There is more to this story that dates back to July, but help me out now currently.
So I had a fallout with a girl just this Wednesday. We have had a thing for a month, I told her my feelings, she said she doesn't want to hurt me because I'm joining the marines and leaving.
I invited her to a going away party for my friend yesterday, and we were having a blast. We were outside relaxing, drinking, swimming by ourselves. We were on each other all night until she left, which was around the time I was piss drunk.
Texted her earlier today, and we got into a tiny dispute, now she doesn't want to talk to me. Her friend doesn't like me anymore, I feel bad, but we had a good time last night talking to one another and getting over what happened.
What should I do to save whatever we have? I still like her and have feelings.
>>702758684 I blame myself for not trying. For not being in the right place in the right moment. >me 13 y/o >New girls in class, one of them gets my attention. 6/10 but damn those tits. >Be friends with girl and somewhat close to each other >Beta as fuck unable to make the move nor express real feelings >A year pass, think it's already time to make the move >Not talking to her for a while, being nervous at the time >Listenn, I've got something to say... >Confess >Girl laughs, saying "I have a boyfriend" in a despective way >Get mad, blame myself >"If only I had been quickier" >Not talking to her anymore, fuck it >She doesn't talk to me either, keep staring at me sometimes at class >Whatever >After some time, she starts saying things out loud >"Wow sex is great, I fuck everyday with my boyfriend ow wow" >Well, what a hore. Get even madder with myself. >6 yrs pass by >"Hey anon, it's been a while" >Oh hey >Starts talking to me like old friends >Listen girl, you know how I felt for you, and how it ended. So please gtfo. >Well, to the point, she confessed me that her boyfriend of that time violated her and that he now can't get closer to 50 meters to her or something (she reported him to the cops) and how she would loved to be with me and shit. >A bunch of more bullshit happened later, I'm no longer talking to her. She is now recovered of that trauma, have kids, etc. My point is, being bullshit or not, that I think I could avoided that bad things, if I were more confident, if I wouldn't hesitate, if I just talked to her earlier this story may be different. What kills me is the indecision. The "if". The know that things could have gone better if I would have been bravier. So now I live on, trying to not make the same mistakes again, to never ask myself again "what would happened if..."
>>702761490 She wanted to fuck that night, was probably throwing you signals that you missed and she took it as you didnt want her and got offended. girls are young, especially at 18-20 ( assuming thats how old you are if you're about to enlist
>>702761871 I already enlisted, I have my contract and my shipdate. And I don't know man, we argued a few days before.
>>702761825 The argument was about her acting totally different around new people, and how she ignored me while I was around her, but she suddenly cared about me when I was there. It's still carrying out right now, but she doesn't want me talking to her for a while.
>be me >be 10 years old >great grandfather is sick >don't know why cause no one told me >little back story on old grand-dad >when i was born he actually wanted nothing to do with me >on account that i was born under bad circumstances >father and mother were druggies >so he thought i was probably going to be taken away anyway so never wanted to get too attached >grandpa finds out grandma got custody of me > tells him ill be home after im treated in the hospital >when i get home doesnt want to let me go >as the years go by my grandad taught me everything, from how to be a proper man to how to fix just about everything that can be fixed in a house > every time i went to visit him he would tell me stories about how he was in WW2 or just make stories up to entertain me >he was practically my father
>so i'm 10 and grandpa is sick with alzheimer's >dont understand what that means so i dont really pay attention >find out what it means and start to get sad >he started to forget everyone, including his kids and my grandmother >never forgot who i was though >every time i would come over he would just tell me more stories >until one day i came over and he seemed different >i walk up to him and say "hi grandpa how are you? >asks who i am >didnt know how to react so i just run and cry >a week later me and my family go on a vacation >dad gets a phone call a few days into vacation >grandpa passed away >dont know how to feel >couldnt ever muster up a tear >came back from vacation a few days later and cried harder than i ever have >won't leave my room
>go to grandpa's house and grandma tells me she has a suprise for me >shows me all of the things grandpa left for me >old war medals, paintings, even nick nacks he got from japan during the war. >start to cry again >have no place to put all of his things so i tell grandma to hold onto them till im old enough >find out 2 moths later that aunt and uncle came and took every thing he left me
>>702744795 This gave me a whole outlook on the people who gas animals. They're just people like us who got such a shitty job that they need to make a living. I personally would rather die starving and dehydrated than have to do that as a job.
>>702761700 You can live a normal life man. Just make time out for them. Don't sell yourself short on opportunities, they didnt do that when they were in your shoes, and they wouldnt want you doing that.
Just make it a point not to forget about them, make time out for them. Cook them dinner once a week, hang out at the house, swap shit with pops. W/e it is man, just take a few days out of the month and commit your time to them. They just want you in their life. Tell them about things going on with yours.
>be me >18 just out of highschool >moved cross country and credits got fucked up >no chance at scholarship due to having a class retake on my record >constantly fighting with my now long distance gf >always arguing with parents >going nowhere in life
>>702763659 Feels very bad man. Wanted to go to Full Sail down in Orlando, but at the last year of high school my family move to Cali, and my credits got fucked. Went there this week to apply and they said they would never take me with my performance in school.
>>702763822 I moved to cali as well (same guy you're replying to), planned on going to CSU and attended a school where I could take the required classes. Turns out common core fucked me over and my math credits from junior year didn't transfer right. Went through senior year just done and not giving a fuck. Worst school year of my life realizing all I worked for was gone. I was also planning on going for music. Assuming that's what you wanted to go to Full Sail for.
>>702764427 Nah, I wanted to go for game design. Honestly I wanted to fucking shoot myself knowing that ever sketch I drew, every game I ever learned the mechanics of, every class I ever ever took was useless now. I know your feel /b/ro.
>>702764634 Ah I see, there's still hope man, maybe check out other colleges like I am and show them some work that you've done. They may be interested and offer you some kind of credit program or special exception if they see you put in effort. Keep your head up and don't give up on your dreams. Sounds cheesy but it's a good mindset to have.
>>702753534 Im going through the same shit bro. Its tough and Im having a hard time. She started hanging with this guy Ill call T and has essentially forgotte n I exist. Here I am alone at 3 am whe shes still up with him talking. That used to be me. If she doesnt love you you hotta man the fuck up and realize she aint worth it. Thats what Im trying at least. I know the pain, anger and everything. Just focus on yourself, hang out with people and forget her.
>>702761732 Look to the past and find the answers. One of the most sobering things I realized say 2 years ago, is that my feelings are nothing new, my ideas are largely unoriginal and that others have been through far worse. Plainly, I don't have it bad enough to justify feeling bad about myself or to buy into some idea of specialness. I practically redpilled myself through the challenging of my own ideas by myself. This did not however make me a nihilist. Instead, I found a new meaning to things, that being the best thing you can do for yourself, everyone around you, and humanity, is to live well, do your job well, and contribute to society in the best way you can think of, a lasting impact. Don't concentrate on things you don't have or how things could be different, concentrate on how to obtain those things.
I don't know how you're doing with women now anon, but the best tip I have is confidence. Pure confidence, just do your own thing. And if you're not already, get /fit/. I read again and again, of people's lives improving on here simply from working out, and taking pride in yourself, be it not excessive. Hope this helps.
>>702764634 Hey, man. If videogames are your thing, then you don't necessarily need to go to uni for that. Unreal Engine and Unity are free to use and there are a lot of tutorials online for them. You can model environments and characters using blender and I think you can animate in there too. Make anything, anything at all, just to get your name out there (make things to be proud of, of course) and you can get hired more easily at a studio with a game or two under your belt.
> be me 18 > 19th birthday in a couple weeks > parents ask for a list of friends so they can throw a party for me > i tell them i don't have enough for a party > say they will pay for me to go out to dinner with a couple friends > don't have the heart to tell them i don't have a single friend... > told them im going out clubbing for the night with 'all my friends' > i'm gonna spend my birthday alone in my car, sleeping in a carpark....
i'm so fucking lonely /b/. you guys are my only friends
>>702765224 Yeah I try to do that, to live well. But somethimes I got thoughts like, a feeling like "life should pay me for my good intentions" or "I deserve this, so why I don't have it" I know It's the worst way of thinking, like who the fuck you think you are, demanding shit, but I don't know, I guess I'm really tired of waiting things to come. As for confidence, I'm not the best, not the worst too. I'm trying to boost my confidence. I'll take your advice, thank you, I do some running but I'll check /fit/ anyway tomorrow.
>>702764861 Thanks anon. I do think more than I act but situations like that (the "if" ones) makes me click.
>be me >22 yo >travel by hitchhikinng quite a lot >liek 30 000 km in six years >want to go to Mongolia >badly >try it year before, but realize too late how long does it take to get all the visas >this year be prepared >have a made up plan already >have everything gathered and acquired >even a girl >that's right >girl found on some local site gathering travellers >btw we're polish >we talk a lot, get to know each other a bit >she's cool and can keep her shit together >which is vital ten thousand kilometers from home when shit hits the fan and you're on your own >we start by the end of june >nope.jpg >april comes >she was quiet lately >I write to her >makes one of the shitties excuses ever made >whyitalwaysendsthisway.exe >fine bitch, I'll go alone
>thenallofasudden.gif >I follow one hot hoe to some party >in student house >art faculty >we sit outside by the fire, quite a group of people >apparently news spread quickly >I hear some drunken female voice from away >"heeey, so you go to Mongolia" >am also drunk >which is rare, but I'll elaborate later >"yeah" >"take me with you" >"sure" >I come to her >we speak a lot >turns out I have friends so fucking good they actually arrange for us to get intimate >thatfeel.jpg her backstory >is 21 >also hitchhiked some >wanted to go to Romania >badly >tried four times >thrice somebody changed their minds last moment >once she got fucking sick that's why she had a good motive to go with somebody who actually gets stuff done, not just brags
>>702766923 also, tell me whether you enjoy and if I should still continue
>anyway we sleep in her bed >too drunk to fuck >too drunk to care >morning comes >we fuck >she has a hell of a beautifull face >inb4 post; nope >sadly with dreadlocks on top >whatever >has next to no tits >thisilike.png >has big, shapely ass >thisilikeevenmore.png >after one fuck we talk >sober now >she still wants to go with me >youmustbeshittingme.jpg >no, she actually does >in fact she is afraid that *I* will not deliver >wellapparentlysometimesevenopdelivers.webm
>>702767005 >preparations start >during this period we fuck like bonobos >7 times a day >first anal of my life >she happens to be my first girl to actually like sucking cock >in a total nick of time we manage her visas >she spends every single coin she has >I will pay for stuff on the trip >she will give it back later >fine with me >btw she actually did >the day she gets her passport we leave. >travel through poland, lithuania, latvia >nothing special
>>702767044 >we enter russia >sukablyat.mp3 >since russian visas are fucked as fuck, we have 3 weeks of stay already (instead of a month) >7 thousand kilometers to go >no problem >I know russian >she drinks vodka >dreamteam.jpg >I hate alcohol >HATE >my favourite state of consciousness is soberity >I have control >my thoughts are clear and sharp >only alcohol I can drink is the tasty kind >notinsovietrussia.bmp >and when I say she drinks I mean it >many men before underestimated her >every single one of them wanted to die the next day >amounts she could drink in comparison to most people were basically on the scale of comparing tight virgin boi pussy with an old horse's asshole >and so we go
>>702767073 >we get to Moscow easily >buy an atlas as maps can't contain russia >russia why you so big >pretty little happens at first >the first locals who want to drink with us are met in Perm, 2000km from the EU border >they buy Finlandia >but this is not part of this story >next vodka time happens like a thousand, maybe one and a half frop Perm >we drink with truck drivers >we drink with Tatars >well, let me just tell you those guys keep up to the stereotypes >for a whole day we go with one old Tatar >cool guy btw >night comes >no truck driver drives during the night >not in russia >it's cause when you leave the industrial part close to Moscow the roads become... russianish >so he stops somewhere >plenty of such places in russia >his buddy brings vodka >Abakan >Kazach vodka
>>702767126 >mfw russians don't drink russian vodka >not until they run out of cash that is >mfw this shit is cash >pure vodka actually tastes good >tastes good to a guy who hates vodka >but this isn't good news >we drink >the problem with them was not the quantity of liquid >it was the speedracing >whenever I empied my glass it would magically become full the moment I straightened my hand >we eat a lot too
>>702767294 >finally I start having enough >totally enough >I go to pee, try to sober up a bit >no way >after some time I come back >forgotten to mention I hate cigarettes more than alco >of course they smoke, as they always do >I sit on the drivers seat, by the window >just in case >but she has to smoke >why stupid ho >why >changes seats with me >I sit in the middle now >they pour me one more >BTW we are in the middle of the third 0.5l bottle >I drink >like, it's russia >rules are rules >I must not break them rules >under the penalty of angry russians
>>702767342 >now I feel bad >vomiting type of bad >youknewitwascoming.jpg >I would easily manage to open the fucking window >but dumb bitch took my place >I puke a bit toward the steering wheel >she moves back >I manage to GTFO That's the way to show thankfulness in poland. Drink someones vodka, but give him back a little bit >notreallythough.jpg >I kneel on the grass >in the very middle of nowhere >completely drunk >not knowing where am I >during the night >and I must have just pissed the only people who can help me now >the real trip begins now
>>702767342 >beautifull fullmoon glows above me >I kneel and puke till there's nothing left >I wait for the two moons to unite again into one >in the meantime I see the other driver leading the girl out of the truck and helping to pee >"she must be drunk as fuck", I think not giving a shit anymore >nearly eaten by mosquitos I return to the truck >turns out they did not really care >instead they finished two more bottles >everybody goes to sleep now >I make it to the higher bed >she tries and falls breaking some plastic "table" >is too heavy and drunk to get to me >whatever, alcohol inside me doesn't care
>>702767433 >I wake up >need to empty my bladder >cringe thinking of the last night >look down >iwasntpreparedforthisshit.gif >she is naked from waist down >kind of hugging him, but obviously she just fell in that position in her drunkenness >I try to wake her up quietly >she only hugs him tighter oblivious to the world >shithitsthefan.jpg >I feel strange >she was my... pair >somebody to go arm by arm with me >somebody to help, no matter what >and, hell, somebody I was fucking with actively >now I have this picture of party whore in my mind >feelsbadman.png
>>702767481 >I have to go on >I get down >cover her >she notices me >and him >and that she hugs him >unhugs him confused >I get out >piss >I return >he is on the driver seat >she lies covered >everybody is wasted >he leaves for some reason >I confront her >tell her she wears no panties >she is confused as the fuck itself >remembers nothing >nothing >we talk >this part is blurred in my memories >I finally say something along the lines of "we can be together if you won't be doing such fucked up things" >she is moved >"would you really like such a terrible creature as me?" >whynotifithasafuckableholeandafemininepenis.jpg >seriously though I say "no problem" >and this fucked up night and getting rekt connects us in some strange way >more than nice stuff would I guess >we discuss it and agree to become a couple >I have a girlfriend again >winrar.zip >the driver returns >we clean up >we drink some tea >after a whole night of heavy drinking and like one hour of waking up this guy >simply starts the engine >and rides for another day straight >russians By the way the driver told me that nothing happened between them. All the little evidence available spoke for it, so I assumed she just lost her panties accidentally.
>>702767531 >we cross russia >shit is cash >easily make it to the border in time >travel through Mongolia >holy >shit >the best country ever >everything is cool >food strange but good >landscape is beautifull >every local invites us and wants to hang out with them >now I can die happily fast forward >about a month after the russian incident she starts acting strange >when we wake up she mopes >"what is it?" >"I'm not good for it" >"for what" >"relationship" >thefuckyousaywoman.png >I ignore it for some time >Then we talk more >I finally give up >better to have her happy than worried all the time >I guess we kind of split up >but of course I still have the pussy for me >and for me only, at least until we come back >in fact I see no difference >then we cross Mongolia >then we cross China >China is fucked up as the fuck only can be >but also cool >then we cross Kyrgyzstan >loveit.gif >we fly to Turkey >return home
>>702767834 so, now things will start getting weird and fucked. last chance to run away from feels. btw are you still with me?
>when we were away her student's house got rekt >closed, that is >she moves to my flat >luckily I live alone >I am afraid she will start fucking other guys now >nope >in fact we discuss some rules >no fucking other people (though I'm not jealous of other girls) >some unimportant stuff >in fact we are nothing but a couple without admitting it >shrugs.gif >time passes >finally she starts telling me some stories of her past >dark stories >when she was seven some 14yo dumbass acolyte fingered her >later he even told her about more stuff he did to her while she slept >she started having sex when she was 13 >lost hymen being 15 >but had some anal before it >when she was 15 or 16 she would hang out with some punks on some squat >fucked with one of them a couple of times >something wrong happened between them >she went away, but some days later he convinced her to come back >hit her had with some metal bar and tied her up >when she awoke he tried to rape her >orally >sirdoyouevenlogic.jpg >she bit the fucker hard and managed to untie herself >ran away
>>702767932 >her parents were also pretty fucked up >one time she got a boyfriend her mother told him some shit >like intimidated him badly and stuff >for some reason it was like a milestone for my quasi-gf >if this point makes no sense to you, well, highfive >parents hated each other >divorced later >her father wouldn't send her the cash >and many more little things have happened over time >I don't remember >you don't care anyway, time passed. The story was slowly revealed to me for about four months, mostly when she was drunk >This all together made her start actually believing the world is against her >if she cut her finger there would be like 5 mins of screaming >and saying things like "sure, why not any MORE fingers?" "why don't you cut your WHOLE hand?" > can't tell when things actually started going wrong >maybe she made them wrong (subconsciously I mean) >I study psychology, you see, and there is sth we call "self-fulfilling prophecy" >long story short it's when you not knowingly act in a way that makes your expectations right at some point >as with a guy checking whether his neighbour is agressive by throwing a stone at them
>be me 19 now >been dating a 10/10 super cutie way out of my league (i considder myself 6/10) for 3,5 years >the happiest I've ever been in life >gave her everything >she made me happy >fucked up with school and too poor and stupid to try college >she accepts that and tries to help me >about amonth ago we moved in together >we have allways been super close and in love >she becomes distant and hangs around drinking witv her friends super late >I got a stressful shit job to pay bills and food 'cuz she is a student and can barely afford those things >only thing I do at home is sleep >never see gf since shes drinking or out when I get off work >she said she doesn't have feelings for me no more >heart broke >no friends >no family or relatives >new city >I may lose my job since I can't stay focused at work I have been planning to take my life for a week now. I feel that I have nothing. I'm so sorry for all fuck... I have nothing to wait for in life, this is the end, I'm sorry
>>702767978 >before winter >shit starts going a lil'bit worse >shestudies at two faculties at once >works non-stop >she doesn't like anal anymore >cuz she would have to clean her ass both before and after >little thing but it shows that her comfort is already more importatnt than my pleasure for her >in retrospect I can't tell whose fault it was though. maybe my behaviour was similar, maybe not. >yeah, whatever >the worst thing is she will always call me her roommate >you know, it kind of hurts >fuck it hurts a lot >mostly cause it's as if she had no feels for me >butistillhavesumsex.mp3
>>702768025 >so autumn slowly turns to winter >she comes back home drunk sometimes >(as you could guess she used to got to the parties without me. I hate vodka.) >she slowly tells the story of childhood and shit >then one day, as pink floyd phrased it, >she tells me "I'll start cheating on you soon" >wtf.jpg >wtf.png >WTF.mp3 >"see, I used to push things quite far" >"I would make out with a guy on the party" >"then right before we have sex I would leave and come back" >but one day I won't be able to hold it" well, that's not sth you like to hear, is it?
>>702768082 >It hits me even harder because it's somehow similar to how I lost my previous gf >the only person I really miss breaking up with >a bit of my soulmate >back then I didn't understood the whole point of not fucking anybody beside your lover >so I arranged an open relationship >and got cucked out of it >left alone >so it won't happen to me again > I fucking swear >now it will be different and so it was, because, believe it or not, I'm the type of person who does what they plan to do. this way or another.
>>702768128 >well, the winter starts for good >we still fuck >but not too often, sometimes even less than once per day >I start to die inside >then my exams come >she as always is preoccupied with her studies >like, I don't take this perspective in the story but I really admired her for this. she was fucking hard working >so my exams come >I never mentioned that I failed two exams in the previos year and also my degree paper, dunno how they call it in english >all because of that trip >so this year I have really just a couple of courses to do >I go to a lot of non-obligatory shit though >I used to anyway >I fail miserably my exams >that is, two exams >I just couldn't get my shit together >I would wait until she gets away from home >somehow her presence was constricting me, idk why
>>702768181 >I wait >she leaves >I fool around on the internets/vidya cause I'm too tired to work >once I start working, she comes back >later on I won't be able to even start so I had a month for this shit. And I did nothing NOTHING in that time >one time I asked her to actually help me a little >she said she would have the time only after like february the 1st >which would be after my exams >during that time she worked >and worked >that's why I left her alone. I wanted her help but not for the sake of her studies
>>702768004 She has been my best friend gor so long and ~3-4 years ago I told her my feelings and she told to she felt the same way. There hasn't been a day in lur relationship where it'd felt like she doesn't love me until now. All this came out of the clear blue sky... If I'd move out and commit suicide no one would notice until next months rent isn't payed for
>>702768219 >she sometimes tells me to come and hug her >I fell as if on some duty >unpleasant duty >cause even though I couldnt do shit I felt as if I was losing the time >remember this point, I will come back to it much later thus january ends >I'm wrecked >completely >always tired, always feeling bad for not having done anything > I know I still can do it >maybe they will agree for another date or sth, you know >after all it's not that bad at my uni >but no >she never kept her promise >never helped me when she finally had some time but again, to this part we also will come back later > easter is coming
>>702768405 >so as I told you, I was trying to somehow "best" her in the realtionship >I mean this part about cheating >I knew exactly what must have been done >I had to find myself somebody before she could manage >or even after but before she would leave me >I imagined we would just remain fuckbuddies or sth >that we will simply remain roommates, just as she wanted it >you see, she could fuck on all of those parties, but she wouldn't find herself someone for anything more serious/lasting >in fact I was but her second "boyfriend", I forgot to mention this >and that's in spite of quite a record of people she already fucked >this was because she was so obsessed with her mother shouting at the previos guy >she was so absolutely scared of her mother screaming at me that she preferred to call me her roommate permamently >and for any person, not just parents >for some reason she considered me a special person >other than anybody >for this reason she, sure, could fuck anyone >but would come back to me afterwards >in fact I already thought she is fucking other guys regularly
>>702768459 >easter was coming >by this time we almost stopped fucking >even if we did, it was pretty lame >well, I was still waiting for an ocasion >good friend calls >she is from some little village in the mountains, thus knows a lot of places around >invites me and a couple of other friends for a walk >of course I go there >of course I find myself an... object of interest >not really, though. she was just a cool girl, so I talked with her a lot during the tirp
>>702768495 >during the first night we spoon >(we come from kinda hippie background, so it's not sth strange to do, wheter or not you plan sex) >I gently work my way into her panties >takes me all night, but boy, do I like it >btw she is a solid 3/10 >her face, that is >body is very decent, petite >and she is a simple, nice girl >like, no problems. nothing. emotionally stable >once I try to touch her pussy she says >"I really shouldn't" >"but does it mean you won't?" >"no" >and so I touched her, she touched me. >everybody was waking up already, so nothing else happened >whatever, she was already mine
>>702768543 >we go to another mountain >there is some kind of dome made of plastic foil, whatever >built well, but primitive >btw I never mentioned that snow was still all around. not much though >we come there >we collect some wood >it gets dark >at this point me and the girl, let's call her Susanne, go "for a walk" >we get to some bent tree >we can't really contain ourselves >after making out fiercely we start looking for a nice place to lay down >not this easy with this snow around >thenamiracle.jpg >we find some ground completely without snow >I put my coat on the ground >this leaves me just in a ligh shirt, trembling a little from excitement ant cold >she's concerned >I politely ask her to shut up and take what is coming >she politely does
>>702768581 >man, was this shit cash >yes it was >YES IT WAS >this pussy was fucking amazing >so soft >so wet >so waiting for me >I teased with her for a moment, then entered >"oh fuck", she said >in fact, she would repeat it constantly, along with "o mother" >whatev >I nearly came too soon >but no, I am a gentelman >I simply waited not moving for some time >then I came back to fucking this best pussy >It was definitely the very best fucking sex in my life > very best
>>702768627 >we come back >eat somethign with the others >there is like four people beside us >and one little sister of my friend >sister even went to look for us, but luckily got bored before she found us >we go to sleep >well, they go to sleep >we talk >she explains she has a boyfriend >I knew already from previous night >Susanne and I cuddle for some time, then I strat to finger her >I finger even more. she is very receptive. after this she whispers into my ear "thank you for those magnificent, MULTIPLE orgasms" her boyfriend mus have been totally lame when it came to sex well, now thats something I liek to hear. finally after those sad months. >then she gave me the head on my request. >I came inside, she didn'e expect this. Me neither btw, bcause it takes me VERY long to cum, especially from a blowjob >but she swallowed. >my girl. I was so proud >finally somebody wanted to make me feel good >I was so happy >finally
>>702768681 >later I ask her about boyfriend >does she love him >of course I know the answear >you don't love people you cheat on >she tells me that he loves her, so she just don't want to ruin this for him you know that joke btw? -I just ended one relationship without perspectives -aren't you sad then? -no, it wasn't mine >I did exactly that >simply explaied to her that she is destroying his oppotrunities by lying that she will be with him, wasting his time >I genuinely believe that, btw >she broke up with him like a week later >we come back from the mountains >she wants to go to some kind of party/ hippie celebration coming this night >so, obviously she will come to my house >let me sum up what I think of my relationship with "gf" at this point:
>>702768725 >she probably cheats on me >but not really, because, remember, I'm but her "roommate" >also, there is one thing I forgot to mention >on the new years eve she brought home a girl >girl found on the street >working in some cheap ass bakery >tries to fuck her for like two hours >girl has fucking nothing between her ears >not a single thought >back to present >if she can bring home a girl and fuck her (well, try to at least), then so can I. >to be honest it was some hipocrysy on my part, as we kind of agreed for her sleeping with girls. >so, you see, this is what I think of the situation, this is what I tell Susanne
>>702768773 >but I know what I deliberatley plan to do is wrong >it is bad, it is... >sinful >and I am an atheist btw >this is why I write this story >as some kind of confession perhaps. this is request for you, faggots. tell me, when the story ends, how wrong do you thing I behaved. how fucked up shit it was in your opinion >I don't feel that it was wrong to fuck the other girl >but I shouldn't come with her home >I shouldn't take her to bathroom >I shouldn't undress her to see her body for the first time completely naked (remember, it was cold winter still) >I shouldn't fuck her for like one hour and a half >I shouldn't take her out of bathtub to finish doggystlye >that was when we heard my "gf" from another room >"I BEG you, stop" >wtf? >we finished >dressed up >I opened the door >ohshit.jpg
>>702768817 >It's not the dinosaur >It's not even the fucking spaghetti
>blood >there is human blood >on the floor, everywhere >footprints >very artistic, btw I must admit >but there is fucking blood >well, she told me she used to sometimes cut herself when fighting with mother or sth >I say "oh. she really tried hard on this." >I'm calm, really calm >Susanne is in worse shape, but she resists >I tell her to start putting shoes on >I get to gf's room >pool of blood inside
>>702768883 >I consider all this to be a call for attention >and there will be no attention from me >not for her >I notice sterile needles she used >good >I notice that nothing that cannot be washed is covered in blood >good >this makes me think that she is well >just pretending >hardcotre-style, yes, but still just a good girl who cares of things that wouldn't be important for someone in true distress >I come to her >I ask whether she needs doctor >no answear, but I know she doesn't >she didn't even cut the vein, only punctured it >I try to touch her >she suddenly moves back, hissing >looks at me as if she was about to kill me >i decide to leave her alone to calm down >we leave for the party
>>702769159 >we come back form the party the next day >she's gone >to the mental hospital >she couldn't live inside of her own head >Susanne is fucking strong with her head though >as I told you, mentally stable as fuck >blood didn't scare her >we fuck some more, then she rides back home (lives in another town entirely) >Susanne became my fuckbudy. I taught her to ejaculate and stuff. we sometimes meet.
>>702769209 so, gf spent easter in the hospital. She quite liked it. Enjoyed the company of all those freaks. After all those are some special people. if you know what I mean. The situation finally fitted with her vision of life, the life that is always trying to kick her harder than before. >I visited her after a week on her request >she asked If I would come >"if you want it" >"but it's you who should want it" >and I really did not, but never told her that >so I came there for her sake. Couldn't care less for her at that point, but I never wanted her to suffer, believe it or not >this place is a nightmare >people like zombies, without their minds, swarm it shuffling their legs >oh, well >we didn't speak much >but she told me she tried to hung herself >later on it hit me >shit >I might have returned home with a girl >only to find a hanging corpse >right before our eyes >and there would be three victims >it was pretty hard >it is still, after half a year
>>702769270 >she came back from a hospital >slept only one night at my place >we cuddled >she told me how she loved me (well, I'm refferring her words) >she never actually fucked anybody since we became a couple >she have seen my troubles during the winter >but didn't knew what to do >she would come back from parties sooner, because she knew I'm sitting alone >she wanted me to hug her, because she thought *I* needed it >when we tried to fuck she would remember that fucker who molested her when she was seven, thus the miserable sex drive >when we came out of the bathroom she just wanted Susanne to be gone and me to hug her >I told her my perspective >we realised that we simply never learned how to speak to each other >we just laid there, in sadness
>>702769249 the others told me to proceed... anyway, not much is left also, kys
Your story is too fucking long, use whole paragraphs instead. I stopped after 3rd replies cause your shit aint going anywhere.
My story: I cant seem to open up to people and always feel insecure about myself; I dont like myself and envious of what "I" could have been. Subsequently, I m getting nowhere - just drifting in life as time passes by. I feel the walls closing in and regret every misses. I am no mean dumb or lacking, matter of fact college graduated, working experience. I have friends not enough to count one hand. It's 4AM Eastcoast and Im still up wandering.
>>702769394 >one more night she came back >we went to bed >it was dark >talked a bit about aforementioned stuff >I finally asked why she can't just stop loving me >(for I still didn't feel anything toward her anymore. and it never changed) >she went apeshit, trying to hit me >well, she is higher than me and of the same weight, so it was a bit scary in the full darkness >but I survived >she only bit me bad on the hand, but no blood or anything >cried afterwards >can't even remember whether she stayed for that night or not >she left my home and we never met again somebody not that long ago told me she's more delicate now. can't tell if that's true and what does it tell about her mental health
just lost every chance i had with my dream girl today. Not quite sure what i did but shes acting really different and weird with me. hunch is that she found out i liked her and shes handling the situation weirdly. Feeling down make me smile or give me feels stuff please. <3 love you guys /b/ has always been here for me
I got some real shit for you /b... my best friend died in a car accident. I was overseas when it happened. The next that reads u ok was sent 45 minutes after she was dead. I didn't know yet due to time change. The last message was sent 2 days after. Didn't know how to cope
>>702769844 thanks. at least one person is not telling me to kms. that's consoling. also, don't worry I am ruminating about it constantly, and I feel it's like a punishment. I really realise that was just wicked, y'know
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