>>702733061 >>702733061I Anything on your mind that you want to vent? I have depressed since I was a sophmore in highschool. I didn't get help until recently(I'm 21 now). There is hope with medication and therapy, you just need to try a few doctors and medications.
Only 8 people said happy birthday to me September1st but you know what I don't care. My best friend Brian and Stefan hugged me and told me happy birthday. The girl I liked told me happy birthday. My mom, dad and grandpa. And 2 anons. Fuck my other family and friends this is the last time I'm staying up late at night to tell them happy birthday. Fuck them days later and not even a happy past birthday fuck them /b/. But you know what at least those people said it to me and I know they'll be there for me for the longest. I love them.
>>702732833 i dont get what the problem is, i spent most of my birthdays alone. luckily for the past three years i met a girl, and shes my best and only friend, we're going away for the weekend of my birthday. i hope to god she doesnt cheat on me, she is completely out of my league, im a fat lonely neckbeard who plays elder scrolls and she looks like cara delevinge
>>702733629 look at the bitch in the left corner who took the pic, i bet shes laughing at this pathetic old man, probably sent the pics to her friends on whatsapp laughing at that 'old freak'. women are shit man, i hope she gets raped
>>702734191 Dude thats even worse, a parent who spent years making you the best you you can you. And all theye want is to spend some time with there kid whos moving on in life slowly separating from there family and the kids annoyed by this tender outreach that the parent can verbally say because it whould just be the same "i love you" that they regurgitate after talking on the phone
>>702733950 Femanon. July was the first birthday I haven't been alone in years.
> work all day on my birthday, 11 hour shift > my ex (but boyfriend at the time) makes me come over, after I insist I would rather celebrate in 2 days (my off day). > gets angry at me midway through the day because I planned on spending it with my parents (they're usually out of town this time of year) > he is allergic to cats. When we get to his house, he freaks out and says he must have inhaled a cathair in the uber > rolls around on the bed groaning for an hour while I watch American dad reruns > I suggest I watch an old movie I like (Heavy Metal), I know it's not great, but I like it. > he groans more and says what we're watching is fine. > I fall asleep within the hour out of annoyance. Wake up at 2am. No birthday gift from him, no card (we had been dating for almost 2 years).
They can literally fuck anyone within their league, even if they're fat they could reel in another fat guy to be with for the night.
They just have to spread their legs and fire off a few texts and the guys would be in them by that night. So fucking unfair. It's why I sort of stopped caring about women, no point in trying to help them out in life.
>>702736834 i ask her everyday if shes going to leave. im fucking worried man, its like a pain in my chest and my stomach clenches. i doubt id ever get with another girl again. people literally STARE at her in the street, its really opened my eyes to how pretty women get treated. Guys will buy her drinks in front of me, she gets free stuff at shops, its fucking weird man, she doesnt even appreciate it she said its how shes been treated her whole life.
>>702737675 We both work at a head shop. And he had the day off. And trust me, I wanted nothing extravagant. But the simplicity of a card, some small candy, something that I wanted to do... I got nothing and I felt so bad afterwards because had I celebrated with my parents, who I blew off, I would have at least felt cared about.
The thing is, except for two people, none of these people are actually alone. They are either celebrating with other people, or AT LEAST celebrating with whoever is taking their picture. So this really shouldn't be a depression thread. None of these people are alone.
>>702737279 That's shitty, kind of reminds me of my birthday freshman year of college, and sophomore year
>roommates knew birthday was coming up >oh dude we'll make you a cake >say that's okay because I enjoy making cake and would always do it for myself at home with my family >they insist on doing it anyway >oblige and tell them they can do it >mom sends me some birthday decorations in the mail >birthday day >ask them if they want to make that cake >"oh sorry bro we're busy" >o-oh... >go have birthday dinner in dining hall >alone >make myself cake, alone >hang birthday decorations up >eat cake alone >pissed off because my roommates said they would bake cake and didn't, let alone have time to say happy birthday or spend some time with me >clean up >nothing else to do so I go to bed >talk with parents next day after I talked with them earlier on my birthday >mom says she sent me like three birthday cards because she knew I was struggling >none of them show up, mail room lost them When I went to sleep, the girl from down the hall slipped a card under my door with a really nice note in it. we had met and talked a little bit but we were never anything more than just people who lived on the same floor. Not even really friends. She even sealed it with wax, which was really cool. I think that's the nicest thing someone has done for my birthday outside of my family.
>>702738065 either improve yourself or become a beta provider. I wouldn't recommend the second one. Who cares about women's validation anyway man, they're less capable than a 14yr old boy. And when they turn old they won't get treated like princesses anymore so they become frigid bitter women asking themselves why men their age go for the younger models
>>702733778 >>702733629 The story is. His wife died 3 years before from cancer and for the first time in 57 years of marriage he's alone. That diner was where they met a long time ago. The diner has changed a lot but he goes back on anniversaries or birthdays and sees his wife eternally young across from him. It's depressing as fuck. I believe he himself died a few months ago.
Yes the cunt is laughing thinking its some crazy old man. I hate modern women so fucking much.
>>702738065 I realized that he was narcissistic too late into it, and I blame only myself for watching him treat other people like shit and assume he wouldn't di it to me. I'm 22 and still making mistakes, but I don't wonder where the goos guys are.
I'm seeing an old friend, a real beta, swert as hell guy now. He plays magic the gathering and vintage games with me. He would bend over backwards for me and can't shake these cute bouts of nervousness. He appreciates me and he's a great person.
I think birthdays are kind of a dumb thing to celebrate anyway. Most holidays are a little dumb like fathers day or mothers day or Valentine's day. Just dumb. I don't put much weight on these holidays so I don't feel bad nor feel bad for others whenever they're not celebrated. The looks on these guys faces does make me sad tho.
>>702732833 i havent had a genuine birthday since i was atleast 3. Every year I spend it by myself with the same old dry cake and boring pizza. No friends come over no nothing. Last year I had feeling my family would forget my birthday and when the day came, they did
>be me >just me and wifey >from big fam >always get siblings b-day gifts >and their kids >mail them every year >never late >never receive gifts on my b-day >never get thank yous for gifts sent >don't even think about it till wifey points it out >shrug >sending more gifts tomorrow
I'm more successful than them Have no kids eating all my money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Am I supposed to be upset about it?
>>702734008 Seriously, I think most of the girls that get praised on here are average as fuck but she's like an irl version the dorky girl in a movie of that gets a quick makeover and suddenly she's a 10
>>702738674 I've heard this probably a hundred times before.
It's extremely common for women to find guys who don't give a shit about them because they have confidence which they find so sexy. But the truth is in time you'll stop caring about your beta friend, at first his quirkiness will seem cute and you might think "hey, m-maybe him and I could just be more than friends hehe". But that'll wear off, you'll then go seek out another douchebag who emanates courage but won't care about your feelings. At first you'll think he's perfect and you'll fall right into that trap again.
People usually don't learn from their mistakes, you'll be doing this for the rest of your life. I say this because i've seen it happen so many times before. You can't run away from your instincts.
>>702738679 i agree 100% with what you're saying. but facts are facts man. until three moths ago i was so fat i could only see my dick by sucking in my gut. im still around 250lbs but ive been going to the gym every day, i am determined to try and not be completely pathetic.
my gf is acutely aware of this, and often tells me the only good thing about my life is her (its true). she has a career that takes her all over the country and i fucking hate it. i find it incredibly hard to believe that several men on the way to the train station, at the coffee shop, on the train, on the way to the hotel, at the hotel lobby, at the conference are constantly asking her out. all it would take is for one time she says fuck it, ok lets go. im either going to kill myself or kill her then myself. i cant see how i could continue, especially since i have no friends, no money, no job, no car. pretty much the only thing i have going for me is that i give her unadulterated praise and attention
>Be me during Middleschool >A+ student, had like 2 people I called friends >15th birthday >Mom and dad greet me and sing me >Happy about that >"Friends" don't even say hi to me >Are they waiting? >Day ends >Nothing >Not even on facebook >Become distant from my parents >They don't look like they care anymore >Mfw I spent the rest of my birthdays alone >Mfw I don't have anyone >Mfw I'm turning 23 next month
>>702732833 >Did something I hate >Could barely drag my ass out of bed even after 10 hours of sleep >Started doing something I love >Can actually bare to go through the day Chalk that up in the win box
male here, dating girl 7 months break up find out she was cheating on me, then find out shes living with my dad, ask my dad to kick her out, he tells her she messages me laughing at me saying shes glad she cheated, dad calls me a piece of shit and now im pretty much fucked.
>>702738877 >dads a complete cunt throughout childhood >physically and mentally abusive >wonders why no-one wants to spend time with him for thanksgiving when he always gets drunk and makes his grandchildren cry.
Bitch you dont know whats going on there stop jumping to conclusions
>>702739862 i know, im just preparing myself. im gonna get a job and move to thailand, ill find something to do over there and never come back. i just woke my gf up an hour ago to tell her i love her and she told me to fuck off. i guess shes tired.
>>702738387 >Implying the fact that only your parents care about you isn't depressing as fuck Fuck. You. All throughout high school I had no friends. I was good looking, I was seen as one of the funniest kids in school but I had no friends. If I ever asked a single person to hang out or tried to seriously talk to anyone without being funny it was like I didn't exist. I almost killed myself, but didnt for my parents and siblings.
>>702740335 i know that there are dickwads for fathers, but lets say he wasnt an ass, there is no excuse to act like a cunt to him. just because your dad hates you doesnt mean that the guy in the pic is a horrible person.
I've completely given up on finding a relationship at 25. Been alone for my entire life, and at some point last year I arrived at the conclusion that people cannot be trusted. There is no longer any loyalty in relationships, people cheat on each other left and right. People whore themselves out on camera... there just no decency left in this world. I'm probably gonna end up dying as a virgin.
>be me >make post >femanon after my post with tits and timestamp >everyone now replies to femanon >no one even cares about my post >my last bastion of hope now gone >nobody wants to reply to my feels >forever alone
>>702732833 >you were born into this world >no one asked you if you wanted to be born, you just were >your mother held you in her arms >she looked at you, smiled, maybe even cried >you were hers >she imagined what you would be >she raised you with the best morals possible >without even thinking about it, she thought I would be a good person >she raised me to be happy >got into my teens >grew out of them just as fast >now I just sit >no job >no education >future barely there >don't even try to find work >wondering what she thinks of me now >wondering in how many ways I'm letting her down >still can't even muster one ounce of determination, not even a tiny shred of motivation >just sink into my chair >type this shit >feel like shit >no matter how many times I say "time to get off my ass and get my shit together" >it never happens >and I don't know why >and I hate myself for it
>>702740335 >my dads a shit >therefore all dads are shits
great feminist logic there. Your making assumptions. Maybe its just an old man trying the best to maintain a family of young selfish nasty cunts who care more about YOLO instagram pics than having a meaningful relationship with someone who loves them
Literally my biggest fear. I have dreams about this happening, it wakes me up. The only thing that saves me is clutching the shit out of my fiancée when I wake up, but it doesn't stop me from being terrified that one day I'll wake up from that dream and she won't be there.
>>702741111 this is extremely sad. the old men in this thread have probably lived their lives, this guy hasnt even had a chance. man, those eyes in the last pic. id defo be his friend if i wasnt a social retard
Bump for this thread is gonna go in my suicide note >Be me 3 years ago >15 >Never been missing anything material in my life, dad worked his ass out >My mom is my father's 4th woman >My dad is my mom's 3rd man >All of my step-brothers are older than than, about a 7 year gap. >have no conecction with them >Have a single person I call my friend >Always loved this one girl who rejected me. >Could never let go >Fuck >The world of internet showed me a part of reality, I was a loser. >The nice guy, beta as fuck, suck at everything I try, worst at what I do best. >My only friend Killed himself last year. >Mom and divorced when I was 16 >Turned 18 last week >Spent my B-day completely alone, sitting with a candle at midnight sining to myself >Suicide doesn't seem so bad. >I know this is bad >Can't get help from family, for I am a grown adult with a childish mind. >Choking on anti depressants everyday I hope stuff goes for the better
>>702732833 >>702732874 >>702732990 >>702733554 >>702733682 It is kind of funny, i often think to myself, im so fucking done something needs to kill me already because im too much of a pussy to do it, then life gives me food like it will all be better. I used to fall for it, the past few years im just like "yea im too stressed to eat"
>>702741821 saving these to my porn folder only to masturbate to them once and then delete my whole porn folder in a week because the very existence of a porn folder on my computer makes me feel gross but we all have urges so when I am in the mood I will remake it for another week only to repeat the cycle
>>702741832 let me be honest man, im ten years older than you. life doesnt change. its impossible. you're still going to be a human being, plagued by self-doubt and self-awareness. the only chance we have at life is to accept these conditions, dont be any more mad at life than you are at the sun for setting. acceptance of the limitations of life is essential. ive accepted that most people are selfish arseholes. suicide is an option, but you must be 100%. ironically the reconcilliation of being ready to die is that reconcilliation that you need to make it through life
>>702741832 If you're gonna commit suicide, go for something better.
Grab a bunch of pills and a bottle of red wine, and go to the mountains during the coldest part of winter. Hike up a few miles away from everyone, find a nice spot with a view, and pop those pills and guzzle the bottle.
As you start to feel warm and dozing off take off your jacket and wait until you fall asleep. In no time your core body temperature will fall and you'll pass away peacefully.
>>702733629 Damn... getting old is really going to suck. Especially when all your friends and loved ones start dying off, and you just feel weak and tired and achy all the time. Not looking forward to that.
Then again my grandparents seem pretty happy, who knows.
>>702742295 Not like im doing great business.. im a student but SEO specialist in my free time to earn some money to pay my weed from.. I could teach anyone here what i do in 2 nights .. but getting clients is the hard part. You didn't answer my question though.
>>702742242 I've never been a cheerful person but seriously I've been feeling awful this year, some days I just want to die, I don't know what t do with my life I feel like I have no talents, skill or anything to make it through life. Today has been quite good but it never lasts. I just have the feeling nothing will get better, there are time when I think I should probably see a doctor to talk about this but other days it doesn't feel as bad Idk what to do.
>>702743165 I do because my birthday gives me a lot of anxiety, I don't want people to acknowledge it at all. I know how stupid that sounds but I can't help it. Last year told people at work about this and they still brought a cake, I had to put a happy face and everything but I had to leave early because how bad I was feeling.
I'll... be honest here. Not trying to be the "All atheist are bad" guy who constantly baits and shit. But, I've been going to a church lately, and talking with the priest. He gave me his unction, and told me that jesus loved me even if I didn't believe. He also gave me a bible. My spirits have gone quite up since then. Yesterday I had nothing to lose on suicide, and today still, but I don't feel the necessity to do it. I feel relieved from my mistakes and that's just.... magical. Anyone else have experiencies like this with religions?
>>702742126 I understand Exactly how I feel There's always hope I guess
>Iv been dealing with manic depression since I was 12(22) >They put me on med's which made it worse so never took any. >Have been doing drugs ever since and it has only kept me still. >I got a therapist at 19 who stopped calling me for appointments
>never progressed in life. >Friend just died 2 days after my Bday last month.
Everybody who knows me knows im a complete loser who will always be the guy you never want to end up like
It was my birthday on the 1st and like 50 people said happy birthday, and all my immediate family came up, 4/5 of my closest friends the other was working, and i went out with my family for drinks on Saturday then afterwards went to my friend who wasn't there's house for like a small party.
I'm clinically depressed and this shit should show me that there is worse shit and should make me feel better, but it doesn't. It makes me feel worse, it makes me think wtf is wrong with me, why am i depressed, and because i don't know I don't even know how to solve it.
I am very depressed myself. I thought I was happy. I had a decent job and a gf i genuinely loved. 2 months ago I found out she was pregnant(didn't care cuz of the money I was making)but anyway she stopped talking to me and ignored me for 2 weeks then we had a huge fight and she blurted out that our kid died inside her then she abandoned me. The same week that happened I got laid off from my job and I haven't found work since. She won't respond to me so I have no idea if she lied to me and I don't know have a kid on the way or not. Am 23 btw
>>702743501 I remember seeing that picture when I was 19 laughing my ass off.
Now i'm 25... and my life hasn't gotten any better. Still living at home with family working a crappy part time job, still a virgin and riddled with every negative emotion out there. Now when I look at that imagine I feel like crying.
Hey at least being alone is better than being with people you pretend to like. I remember the first couple of months in college I was so excited and wanted to network and meet new people. I would also hold back my feelings and just go along with it. After months I just had an epiphany. I wasn't happy doing this, this isn't me. So I said fuck it and I'm just being myself, I get along with pretty much everyone in class but not enough to hang out after school or anything. Still, it's actually nice to be alone. Better than being with people you aren't comfortable with.
>>702736071 TFW > no friends > empty list of phone number outside of family > used to eat lunch in a bathroom stall > stay up every night and eat until I feel warm from the fullness of all the food in me.
>>702739620 I would break up with her and just focus on personal development man. Like, just end it right now so you have the ability to say "I did it, I broke it off first."
Then begin a strong personal regimen of diet and exercise. Get down to 185 or whatever healthy, 12% bodyfat, etc. Get yourself fit, learn to dress right, maintain strong personal hygiene. Stop playing vidya, read major philosophy, history, science, and literature and develop your mind. Look up social engineering and pickup game and develop a good understanding of psychology and sociology. Then look up RSD nation and read the power of now by eckhart tolle. After about six months of successful hookups, start looking into good potential girlfriends in the right places and date women. Get cheated on, get your heart broken, get over it, move on, learn.
After all this, once you're over it all and nothing fazes you anymore, go interact with this girl you love and speak to her. Realize how plain and unremarkable she's been the whole time, learn what she really thought of you, realize how often she was getting dick on the side, and furthermore, realize how much you don't care and how little all the emotions you once felt for her actually matter.
Then when any sense of grandeur and emotional investment in the world has been killed off and you live for nothing discernible, go train your body and mind again, join a private military company, purchase a Heckler and Koch battle rifle 91 series that fires 7.62 NATO rounds, and take back Rhodesia under the name of Blackwater or Triple Canopy. If you're not dead by the time it's finished, use the spoils of war to purchase an oil rig and carry out strike missions in Afghanistan for wire tendered funds. Retire at age fifty in Bogota and drink yourself to death wondering what could've been.
>>702743743 Maybe you weren't gonna find happiness on big groups of people, it's not as simple as thinking that a party would help. And it's not even your fault. Most people told me I was ungratefulwith my parents during my teen years beacuse I didn't appreciatte materials gifts that much. But they just don't fill you, it's not like money will ever make you smile. Nor will random people partying with you, search for that connecction, Anon.
>>702742932 >It's the anonymous internet, niether if us care.
By "us" are you talking about you and me, or you and your beta bf? Because I bet you he does. Why don't you send him a tit pic? He's your loving bf, right? I know why. It's because you don't have the hots for him. You love only yourself and the idea that he loves you. You crave excitement and he's offering stability. You are still a stupid girl, just like your girlfriends, only slightly less stupid. But in the end you're still using him, even if you rationalize to yourself that you aren't.
>>702743963 Not at all. He just puts a hand on your back, one on your forehead and start talking about some devils getting into your head, named your problems even if you don't tell him (Or at least that's how it happened to me) and sorta gives you hope telling you that in the hands of jesus you'll be great and live a great life.
>>702743579 Kind of. I'm an atheist too and one day I was just chilling at the park and a couple of teenagers approached me and one politely asked me about what I think would happen after I die, so I told him that I believe death is final and nothing happens after it and they asked me if I believed in God so I told them no and the guy sat next to me and asked me if it was ok if they prayed for me, I told them I had no problem with it and he kinda like side hugged me and started praying for me. I felt really good after it, you know it's human contact and the fact that someone cares about you, I don't think it's something magical but we're social beings, that's supposed to make us feel good.
dont get me wrong, there are legitimately depressed people and people with real problems.
but if you're sitting in this thread on a monday night bawwing over birthdays then yeah ur an edgy faggot who just wants to be sad. not because 'ITS THE ONLY THING I CAN FEEL EXCEPT (SHADOW THE HEADCHOG) INSIDE'
but because you think it gives your life meaning.
>quite sure my existence is totally meaningless and my life is insignificant
this implies that we are blueprinted with destinies. if you believe that, than you are basically saying that will and choice do not exist. by insisting your life is destined to meaninglessness you are insisting that you are not even alive, that you are just a tool the universe uses so that others can use to fulfil their pre-planned destinies. the concept of destiny makes no sense even if you disregard all of the above.
you can't be created with an 'end goal' because if there was any being capable of creating that, they would have been able to take care of the existing problem we were created to solve on their own.
long existential rant aside, there is no destiny, there is no meaning. which means that the only way to give your life meaning is to... well, give your life meaning. through choice.
>>702743791 It's crazy how it all seems to pile up at the same time. Similar thing happened with my fiancee. She pulled away, until the relationship became unbearable. I ended up calling it of, and ending it. She later apologized saying she did all that, because she couldn't bring herself to end our relationship even though she wanted out. That shit destroyed me though. Soon after I was one of 20 that were let go from my job. So all those people became competition for the few positions available elsewhere. The worst thing though was my dog died. The only living being that truly loved me unconditionally.
>20 Oh anon, you're still young! You've only just begun! >25 You'll find someone someday, just keep at it champ, she's out there >27 hey man, have you asked around lately? like seriously, do you even try? >29 dude seriously? for real? never had sex? how come? lets talk about this >30 just hire a hooker and get it over with, i'll buy you a few beers >33 I don't even know what to tell ya >35 just kill yourself, i'll buy the helium combo for ya
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