Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys who were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat? I don't think so I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested yet I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, holmes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
[To be rapped at rap god speed] Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated I make elevating music You make elevator music
Te voy a cambiar el nombre Para guardar el secreto Porque te amo y me amas Y a alguien debemos respeto Te voy a cambiar el nombre En base a lo que has traído Ahora te llamarás Gloria Lo tienes bien merecido Y hemos de darnos un beso Encerrados en la luna Secreto amor te confieso Te quiero como a ninguna Y puedo cambiarte el nombre Pero no cambio la historia Te llames como te llames Para mi tú eres la Gloria Eres secreto de amor Secreto Eres secreto de amor Oye Eres secreto de amor Secreto Eres secreto de amor Delante de la gente no me mires No suspires, no me llames Aunque me ames Delante de la gente soy tu amigo Hoy te digo, que castigo Eres secreto de amor Secreto Eres secreto de amor Te voy a cambiar el nombre Para guardar el secreto Porque te amo y me amas No debo… this gon be gud...
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
In west Pakistania Born and raised On the bomb range where I spent most of my days Blowin up infidels, relaxin all cool Shootin U.S. troops outside of school When a couple of americans who were up to no good Started defiling islam in my neighborhood I set off one chem bomb and my mom got scared She said "You're moving in with your 6 aunties in Tehran" I whistled for a plane And when it came near The license plate said "Boom" and there were severed heads in the mirror I thought to myself "Man, this plane is rare" Then I thought "Nah man, fulfill Sharia law" "Go bomb in Tehran" I pulled up to the cell about 9:11 or later I looked at the driver and said "Allah hu akbar, madh Allah, yarzuqna" I looked at my flag I've earned my title Time to sit on my nukes as the prince of ISIL
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo./
I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.
hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there i'm gonna have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture huh? do u want that? do u wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if u keep this up then well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy
>>702707705 Y'all niggas can't fathom The depth of the god particle, Straight up lyrical disambiguation, minimalist design, universal mastermind, not so slick but smooth delivery I wouldn't even let ya hoe touch me Fagget cunt suck my dick like I would a blunt, Call my dick skinny pesci cause it pimps a runt
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I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as a spicy memer. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling every web page in the known universe with my spicy memes. People say to me that posting memes is a disgusting habit and I'm a pleb but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install pepe's on my face and 100 dongers on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "spicy memer" and respect my right to fill your browser history with cancer. If you can't accept me, you're a filthy tumblr newb and need to refresh your browser. Thank you for being so understanding
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What the dank did you just blazing say about me, you little meme? I’ll have you know I ayy’d top of my lmao in the Dank Memers, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on 9GAG, and I have over 420 confirmed memes. I am trained in gnome warfare and I’m the top sweglord in the entire /r/dank_meme forces. You are nothing to me but just another 9Fag. I will smoke you the fuck out with memes the likes of which have never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, memer. As we speak I am posting my secret network of dank memes across reddit and your karma is being rekt right now so you better prepare for the storm, shitposter. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your karma. You’re fucking downvoted, kid. I can meme anywhere, anytime, and I can dank you in over sixty nine ways, and that’s just with non-dank memes. Not only am I extensively trained in danked memeing, but I have access to the entire stash of Snoop’s dankest kush and I will use it to its full extent to blaze your miserable memes off the face of the thread, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn’t have posted those shitty memes. But you did, you had to, and now you’re paying the price, you little 4chan. I will blow my dank smoke all over you and you will choke in it. You’re fucking memed, kiddo.
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LOL? People still play this fucking garbage shit tier game. I could LITERALLY wipe my ass with a fork and it would look less shitty than this game. Do you literally live under a fucking rock? It's like you never even fucking heard of Bioshock Infinite. It's as if you ENJOY playing repetitive fetch quests with NPC's that quite honestly look like FUCKING SHIT. HOLY FUCK!!!! Do you actually like a game with unrealistic graphics and capped at 60 FUCKING frames? Jesus fucking christ you have autism. Maybe if you tried actually looking for a decent game like Bioshock Infinite or even fucking Fallout 4? Fallout 4 is basically a superior version of Skyrim that doesn't look like utter asshole and made by actual capable developers... No offense, but your game is trash and you most likely have a terrible personality.
I sexually Identify as a steel beam. Ever since 9/11 I dreamed of getting drawn closer and closer to my melting point by jet fuel under the Twin Tower letting them drop on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a steel beam is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install steel beams and jet fuel on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Steel Beam” and respect my right to not melt by jet fuel and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a steeliphobe and need to check your metallic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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You casuals don't understand the value of a good meme. It's a blood thing. Some people collect good memes. There are entire families that collect good memes, and the people from those families can't pass over a good meme. Shit. I live in a fucking apartment, I never make memes. Yet, I have a dank meme I found on reddit as my phone wallpaper. No one understands good memes. You never know when you're going to need one.
You know what I don't understand? No one ever takes copypastas seriously. I'm being honest here. No one ever stops and really understands the copypastas. They just pass it off as just another shitpost that was made by some edgy shit in his basement, waiting for downvotes and hate comments. These people are wrong. copypastas are made by the greatest minds on the planet. Each one is carefully and delicately crafted to get the least amount of karma on Reddit. I'm led to believe that maybe even Ernest Hemingway made a copypasta. Now, I am not talking about the shitty twitter copypastas that don't take any effort at all, like what you see on say, for example, Berny Snaders' page. They lack a soul. I only speak of 4Chan copypastas and the like. Copypastas that make fun of the saltiness of OP and call his post cancer. These types of copypastas deserve respect. They aren't trash. They are literature.
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I sexually identify as a Nazi. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of throwing those disgusting Jews in gas chambers. People say that being a Nazi is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a Hitler mustache, a swastika, and a Walther P38 on my body. From now on, I want you to call me "Nazi" and respect my right to kill Jews and kill Jews needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a Naziphobe and need to check your Nazi privilege. Thank you for being so understanding
been in this game for years, it made me a animal It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual A step by step booklet for you to get your game on track, not your wig pushed back Rule nombre uno: never let no one know how much, dough you hold, cause you know The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially if that man fucked up, get your ass stuck up Number two: never let em know your next move Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence or violence Take it from your highness (uh-huh) I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips Number three: never trust no-bo-dy Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up Hoodie to mask up, shit, for that fast buck she be layin in the bushes to light that ass up Number four: know you heard this before Never get high, on your own supply Number five: never sell no crack where you rest at I don't care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce Number six: that god damn credit, dead it You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it Seven: this rule is so underrated Keep your family and business completely seperated Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch Find yourself in serious shit Number eight: never keep no weight on you Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too Number nine shoulda been number one to me If you ain't gettin bags stay the fuck from police (uh-huh) If niggaz think you snitchin ain't tryin listen They be sittin in your kitchen, waitin to start hittin Number ten: a strong word called consignment Strictly for live men, not for freshmen If you ain't got the clientele say hell no Cause they gon want they money rain sleet hail snow Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up If not, twenty-four years, on the wake up Slug hit your temple, watch your frame shake up Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass Your girl fucked my man Jake up, heard in three weeks she sniffed a who
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Ima spit that fire Sit back and watch the world burn Free cremation for these Niggas Better bring an urn Got that brand new whip Indiana Jones Got a cutie in the back Paying student loans Don't be mad Cuz I stack cash Give you whiplash Click bang flash And alsother OP is a neckbearded ass hat
So what do you say to somebody you hate Or anyone tryna bring trouble your way Wanna resolve things in a bloodier way Then just study a tape of N.W.A One day I was walking by With a Walkman on When I caught a guy Give me an awkward eye And I strangled him up in the parking lot With his Karl Kani I don't give a fuck if it's dark or not I'm harder than me tryna park a Dodge When I'm drunk as fuck Right next to a humongous truck in a two-car garage Hopping out with two broken legs Trying to walk it off Fuck you too bitch, call the cops I'mma kill you and them loud-ass motherfucking barking dogs And when the cops came through Me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house With a can full of gas and a hand full of matches And still weren't found out From here on out it's the Chronic II Starting today and tomorrow's anew And I'm still loco enough to choke you to death with a Charleston Chew Slim Shady, hotter then a set of twin babies In a Mercedes Benz with the windows up When the temp goes up to the mid-80s Calling men ladies, sorry, Doc, but I been crazy There's no way that you can save me, it's okay, go with him Hailie
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