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ITT: Things you think only you do
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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ITT: Things you think only you do

>can't sleep without the sheet over my ear and feets under it
>Before I leave my house, I have to wash my hands in case I eat something with my bare hands
>neighbour can see through my window when he's upstairs. I think he often sees me fapping.
>>
>>702556264
>run a catheter up my urethra, drain out all the piss, then fill my bladder to the breaking point with jizz lube
>>
>>702556264
>can't sleep without the sheet over my ear and feets under it
Ikr, sleeping without a blanket/quilt feels fucking weird now, & it has.to be over my ears or I think a spider or some shit will crawl in.
>>
Put miniature marshmallows is the freezer. I like frozen marshmallows
>>
>>702556264
>in case I eat something with my bare hands

nigger, start carrying antibacterial hand cleanser with you
>>
>>702556938
Thought I'm the only autist doing this
>>
>>702556264
>think I'm severely retarded to the point where I see the world in completely warped way separate from anyone else and everyone else is hiding it from me, covering it up, telling me I'm witty or smart or that I have a cynical view of the world in a way that reflects intelligence

Holy shit I'm losing my fucking mind. I haven't had social contact outside of my family and the internet in a FUCKING year.

Could this cause me to lose my mind /b/? The other day I started hearing the door next to my room slam. The problem is that no one was home, when I went to investigate the incident there was no one.

I thought it could've been a draft of air or something so I called my dad, he left his door closed. That means it would've had to open and close once more.
>>
>I cry because of how alone I feel sometimes
>>
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>>702556264
>wipe my ass both directions several times, folding the paper each time, until it's completely white
>take my shoes off when I enter the dorm/suite and put the shoes on a plastic bag on the floor
>workout 6 days a week
>eat pic related as a snack
>actually not care at all about sports
>wrap my dick in rolled up cotton and cloth tape before leaving each day
>>
>>702557733
>>wrap my dick in rolled up cotton and cloth tape before leaving each day

Why? WHYYY?
>>
>>702556264
>>702556938
Glad I'm not the only one that sleeps with just a sheet, can't have it any further up than my neck or I get the thought that I'm going to suffocate myself in my sleep.
>>
>>702556264
>be underage on 4chan
this claim is invalid since edgy ledditors or whatever the fuck browse this autistic website
>>
>>702557733
You eat the commie flag... as a snack?
>>
>>702557733
>wipe my ass both directions several times, folding the paper each time, until it's completely white

That's normal.
>>
>>702557089
I don't do that but it sounds good
>>
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>>702558151
From February to late-July of this year, I had very serious dick-psoriasis. The skin was (and kind of still is) very sensitive, and would 'leak' plasma and stick to the underwear. Skin breaks were common and plentiful. Just to put on a pair of pants and walk, I needed to wear something around the dick to make sure it stopped happening.

>>702558255
Oh yeah, I mean to do Harvest Snacks snap-peas as the pic. Sorry.

>>702558269
I dunno, most people just do it once or twice in only one direction.
>>
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>>702557245
Go outside
>>
posted these a few times but no-one else has admitted to doing these yet.

>poop into a tissue on my hand and lower it into the water so it doesn't splash

>also put the tissue over my butthole when i'm beginning to shit so it muffles accidental farts and no-one hears

yes i wash my hands thoroughly
>>
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>smell dishes, spoons and forks before I use them to eat.
>only eat at home.
>only eat what I cooked for myself.
>if somebody else is cooking I have to watch him/her cook or I will not eat food.
>>
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>>702558695
>ninja-shits
But why?
>>
I finger my asshole clean.
>>
>>702558218
neither underage nor newfag. here since 2010
>>
>>702557245
have a good meal and go to sleep.
>>
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>>702556264

>clean up after myself at the gym.
>Think indian women are hot.
>think "milfs" are disgusting.
>talk to myself in the shower.
>Jaw clicks loudly when i chew.
>fart really loud in my sleep.
>don't care about sports.
>look for porn from the late 90s and early 00s.
Pic related. I want her name , and every photoshoot she's ever done.
>>
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>>702559047
i hate other people hearing it. my bedroom is right next to the toilet and my whole life i've had to listen to my whole family piss and shit. not a burden i want to put on anyone else.

also i can only ever shit in my own house comfortably. when i was at uni it was hell, i literally didn't shit for a week, eventually got the courage to shit in a sainsburys public toilet when no-one was there, gave myself a haemorrhoid. that was the only place i could shit the whole time at uni, even though there was a toilet a few steps from my room .
>>
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Flush the toilet mid-stream and then pee really hard to try and finish peeing before the toilet finishes flushing.
>>
>>702558574
>>702559547
Either I have schizophrenia or I'm retarded.

I did pretty well in school so I really don't think I'm retarded.
>>
>my ears tense in public to the point they get sore
>>
>>702559723
I'm alright with some Indian women.
Who doesn't fart loudly in their sleep?
Who doesn't talk to themselves occasionally? I mean as long as you realize you're talking to yourself and not something that isn't there you're okay.
>>
>>702559723
For a second I thought there was a bright yellow pedo bear waving hi or something over her left shoulder. I need sleep
>>
i prefer eminems newer stuff
>>
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>>702559772
toliet school highscore status
>>
>>702557106
Mmm... benzalkonium chloride... delicious.
>>
>>702556264
you know how sometimes when one yaws ones inner ear rumbles, i can do that manually
>>
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I still watch anime over the age of 25. I also make sure to take in at least 1 episode of Star Trek each night before bed.
>>
>>702558483
So most people don't wipe until their asshole is clean?
>>
>>702559727
I don't like to shit in other people's toilets either.

I piss in public toilets all the time, I've even fapped in a park bathroom before.
>>
>>702560426
Not really, no. They think a few times in one direction is good enough, oblivious to the fact that they have a cluster of shit right wherever they stopped.
>>
>>702560425
Suicide is the only solution.
>>
>>702560426
Exactly
It's disgusting but that's the way it is
>one of the many reasons I will never get a girlfriend
>>
>>702558483
Fucking kek, sucks to be you. Dick Psoriasis Man!

Dick Psoriasis Man! Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Neither! I wear several socks on my dick because of the sores and weeping, confused citizen.

You know what DPM, just go.
>>
>>702560555
But if I die now, I'll miss the next seasons of my favorite anime.
>>
>>702560545

You've done a shit survey?
I'm pretty sure most people manage to wipe their ass satisfactorily.
>>
>>702556264
Wash my ass after a shit.

If you got shit on your hands, arms, legs, face, etc., you wouldn't just "wipe it with paper", you'd wash it.

Asshole is no different.
>>
>>702560788
Dubs of bidet truth.
>>
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>>702560692
I tried a sock for a while, but it turned out to be a bad idea because of the 'frillies' inside the sock. Even the outside of the socks are pretty rough.

Just imagine your dick splitting open every time you get an erection.
>>
>>702558695
You can just put a few pieces of paper into the bowl before you shit
That's what I do
No splash and no shittrails in the toilet
>>
>>702558695
I hate my shit splashing too . But I do something much more reasonable. .. put some fucking tissue into the toilet before shitting.... the shit lands on the tissue and is silent...
>>
>>702560473
yeah i can fap, used to always bust a nut in in the London Euston station toilets after a 3 hour train ride thinking of how i'd fuck any hot sluts i'd see

related: i figured out the cure to travel sickness, just get a boner and stay horny the whole journey. it hasn't failed me once.
>>
>>702560426
I personally use some paper first and then clean it with water and rub with my finger
>>
>>702561063
you have to use a lot for it to be effective, one bomb and the cushion is sunk
>>
>>702560367
I think most people can
>>
>>702560760
You'd be surprised. I used to think people didn't spit indoors, but then I started going to college stateside....
>>
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>>702556264
>Buy an Antman tin popcorn bucket , Aloevera tissues & drape the tissues over the head of my penis then masturbate and throw the tissue soiled with semen into the Antman popcorn bucket , empty contents of the popcorn bucket each morning into the toilet , take a piss on the tissues and semen , flush and then shower.
>>
>>702561091
That's fuckin weird. But I'm gonna try it.
>>
I can sleep after doing 1g of cocaine.
>>
I talk to myself almost all the time, laughing at my own jokes and arguing with myself. It's like another person lives in my brain and dislike things that i like. Also, after wiping my ass, I check if it's clean with my finger, then smell it.
>>
I fap to vanilla porn
>>
>>702561326
That's discusting and you should die.
>>
>>702561326
what in the fuck, are you me?
>>
>>702560788
Do this too
Everything else would be disgusting
>>
>>702557700
Same
>>
>I fap to every girl I meet that is even remotely attractive.
>I like to scrap off sweat off my balls and sniff the sweat
>Sniff toenail clippings
>After I take a shower I pinch as many nose hairs as I can and pluck them all at once
>Make sure my asshole is squeeky clean when i shower. I spend more time cleaning my asshole than the rest of the showering time
>>
>>702559723
Yeah , some indian women ,specifically if they have a dash of Anglo in them , can be fucking amazingly attractive.
>>
>>702557733
>>702558269
>>702558483
>>702560426
>>702560426
I generally only take a shit before I shower. That way, I can finger my butthole completely clean with no worries
>>
>>702560425
There's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't obsess over it like weaboos do. The fucking faggots in this board are so obsessed with being adults that I believe they must be really insecure about their own adulthood
>>
>>702556938
Same
>>
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I can't sleep without taking a sleeping pill an hour ahead of time, because a former roommate and his gf used to keep me up all night (often waking me up as I slept) with their nightly fuck-sessions. I have become dependent on these pills.
>>
I cum when I'm like half hard and just rub my dick under my shorts instead of jerking off.
>>
>>702561544
Learn how to spell , I may take your advice into consideration.
>>
>>702557733
>actually not care at all about sports
Nice dubs
Same here. Also, I hate competing in any fashion.
>>
>>702560555
Trips command your death
>>702560425
>>
>>702561534
You monster! That's disgusting!
>>
>>702561205
A pack of toilet paper lasts me for over a month and it's better then cleaning the toilet
>toilet brushs are disgusting
When I have to clean the toilet I screw off the shower head and use the shower as high pressure cleaner
>>
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>>702561639
Yeah. I'm not as vocal about my hobbies/anime-watching as I used to be. I didn't even attend a certain convention that came to my town this weekend.
>>
>>702556759
Enjoy your UTI
>>
>>702561579
i do all of these except the nose hair thing and obsessive asshole cleansing.

ball stank is the best stank
>>
>>702561786
In any fashion including friendly? Like just a board game or something?
>>
>>702558483
fellow psoriasis mate, I have it on my dick as well now, not that severe though.. and just the glans (HEY IS THAT AN STD ANON, NO IT'S NOT)

and basically all the haired spots on my head

fml
>>
>>702561786
Football season just started, too. Get ready for people foaming at the mouth over teams, buying jerseys, and putting on all that weight they lost over the summer with "tailgating parties" and get-togethers.
>>
>>702561579
>After I take a shower I pinch as many nose hairs as I can and pluck them all at once

Ouch what the fuck dude
>>
>>702556264
I wrap my foreskin over my japs eye to catch my cum when i masturbate, I then walk to the bin and release
>>
>>702561848
dude. just try my method, it's easy and silent. once you get past the whole holding your shit through a few layers of tissue it's really comfy to do and keeps the bowl clean
>>
>>702556264
>have legit misophonia; get triggered by people breathing out through their nose as they drink from a cup
I can't eat around kids in a quiet setting.
>>
>>702560425
Sounds pretty average to me.
>>
>>702562024
Get a tube of Mometasone Furoate Cream USP: 0.1%, and apply it 3-4 times a day for 4 days. It should clear up.
>>
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>I hate going outside
>Hate people overall
>Humans are disgusting
>I'm a human
>mfw
>>
I've fucked cow pies.
>>
>>702561715
You will make a girl really happy
>>
>>702557700
>>702561568
chin up lads
>>
>>702561552
..because regular tissues are too abrasive on your penis & aloevera as well as being smoother on your skin , it provides a strengthened tissue.
>>
>>702561848
as an extra, you can mummify your shit in toilet paper and drop it in while chanting "tu-ten-kha-mun"
>>
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>>702561806
Only quints can kill me.

>>702562183
Nah. At my age (27), everyone's gushing over shows like Empire and spending more time with kids/married life than watching anime.
>>
>>702562168
No ffs
>disgusting
>>
>>702562221
cortisone

no ty
>>
>>702562055
Meh, it could be worse. My wife also doesn't care about sports, and I work with engineers in Vermont.
>>
>>702557700
I cried in my dream last night

Apparently I really miss someone I haven't talked to in a year
>>
>>702561715
>>702562274
my wiener is big but i cum very easily and dont get hard all the way
>>
>>702562221
plus I've had cortisone creams before, don't help shit

only light-therapy really helps me
>>
>>702559807

schizophrenia is gods gift, most people have to pay for such a thing.
>>
>>702560358
Exactly. I would never use hand sanitizer as an alternative to washing my hands before eating. Hand sanitizer is a temporary thing to kill germs. Not an alternative to washing.
>>
>>702562543
Good luck then. In the mean time, wrap it up in cotton so it won't get rubbed in your pants or anything.
>>
>>702562424
Quints get
>>
>>702562505
r u nigger?
>>
>>702556938
are you me?
>>
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>>702559727
You can come over and fuck my sister.
>>
>>702562674
reroll
>>
>>702561593
Consider that you do this because you like fingering your butthole.
>>
>>702560555
Is anime that bad? I'm really into this girl who loves anime and cosplay. Was considering watching anime to get closer to her.
>>
>>702562698
No Im a smooth white buoy
>>
>>702562776
re-reroll
>>
>>702562785
Who doesn't?
>>
>>702562766
is she hot and legal?
>>
>>702562424
So to be normal you must ingest identical media to your peers or be busy with family ?

Freedom of choice exists right ?
>>
>>702560741
lul i tell myself this everyday.... i can't kill myself untill several of my favorite anime, manga, tv series etc end...
>>
>>702562917
re-re-reroll
>>
>>702556264
Source on the image?
>>
>>702562917
re-re-re-reroll!
>>
>>702562988
Yes. That's the accepted social 'norm' for people my age.

>>702563009
>
>>
>>702556264
Can only sleep with blanket between knees/thighs, so that legs do not touch each other
>>
>>702558896
are you a king or something?
>>
>>702561369
I do that especially when working
>>
>>702562454
I miss you too. Just text me or something.
>>
>>702563317
kek.
>>
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>>702563234
I will get quints!
>>
>>702562661
uncut, lel don't care lel
>>
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>>702563538
You can't kill me, fam.
>>
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>>702558896
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHHSHSHAHSHASFHASHHAHAHAAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAAHHAHHYARHARYARYARAYARHARHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>702562988

also since i'm a pleb and read A song of fire and ice series i'll probably end up killing myself when that fat fuck George R.R Martin kills over from a massive heart attack...
>>
>>702563741
quints get!
>>
>>702563741
you win this round anon
>>
>>702558896
i do the same. i'm afraid of getting poisoned by someone - friend or family
>>
>>702556264
>brush my teeth in the shower
>pick my nose & eat it
>if one of my hands got dirty. It would irritate me to not get both hands wet
>sometimes scratch the area inbetween my balls and thigh. Feels so good sometimes I can scratch till it bleeds
>sleep with my arm pinned under my body. Wake up several times a night with no feeling in my whole arm for a good few mins and scared it's going to fall off one day.
>go back to sleep after snoozing and can carry on my dream I was having before I woke up.
>>
>>702558695
I purposely try to fart and splash as loud as I can when using public bathrooms.
>>
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>>702563914
>>702564035
>Each day goes by
>I patiently await my eventual death
>>
>>702558896

actually smelling utensils isn't a bad idea.
>>
>>702560875

For serious. You all need to get one of these. Welcome to modernity.
>>
>>702564208
heh lad
>>
Can't sleep without seeing my neighbour fapping
>>
>>702561579
I think everyone smells their ball dude
>>
>>702562132
If it doesn't hurt u are doing it wrong
>>
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>>702556264
Anuspussytitty?
>>
>Listen to folk and march music on reg especially foreign
>Bite off toenails instead of clipping
>Bite off nails instead of clipping
>>
>I Think I'm literally retarded and somehow am able to pass as a normal person of my age, and only know how to speak and do anything because of things I've watched through television and movies
>>
>>702562424
>Only quints can kill me
Is that you GigaNigga?
>>
>>702556264
Now THAT's one hot momma!
>>
>>702564775
aye
>>
>>702564699
You are me
>>
>>702564922
We both got dubs too. Coincidence? I think not...
>>
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>>702564818
Close.

I'm his son, Son GigaNigga.
>>
>>702565023
Cosmic /b/onds, faggot
>>
>>702556264
Squeeze those little yellow hard lumps out of the pores in my skin.
>>
I bite off the whole fingernail carefully, then bite it into 4ths
>>
>>702559047
>Ninja shits. Kek
>>
>>702562813
i only watched 2 anime series and i enjoyed them a lot actually, but im not really into all the weeb shit. i think its fine as long you dont become one of those little faggots
>>
>>702565140
I dont think yellow hard lumps are even normal
>>
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>>
>>702563302
Same fucking here. Can't stand my legs touching each other.
>>
>>702563302
Same
>>
>Jizz into small ziplock bags, let dry.
>Crush dry jizz into fine powder.
>Leave powder jizz bags at local bars and nightclubs in hopes someone will think it's cocaine.
>>
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>>702565563
wat
>>
>>702565342
Those little "seeds". Sebum plugs.
>>
>>702556264
When I run, if I accidentally graze the inside of my calf with my sneaker, I immediately need to graze the other side with my other shoe. The graze needs to be in the exact mirror opposite side and of equal strength. When they aren't of equal strength, I need to assess each graze a point value from 1-10 and I will continue to lightly graze each leg at a time and keep a mental score until the score is equal. I once had a 15-15 tie during a long stretch while on a 10 mile run.
>>
>>702564775
Bingo.
>>
Cum without touching myself
>>
>>702564075
I do the dream part easily 4 times in a row, or the next day.
>>
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>>702565563
Goddamn, genius.
>>
>>702565707
Glad I'm not the only one
>>
>>702565563
Either you are copying the original poster, or you are the original poster..
>>
>I can't eat without watching something on the Internet
>>
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>when I go to people's houses, I frequently piss in their bathroom sinks. Have done it since I was little. Don't know why

>when listening to music, I vividly imagine myself (or the artist) playing the instrument. Most often with jazz.

>I also feel like I'm the only guy that is satisfied(even happier) without a girlfriend or wife
>>
>>702565355
zozzle
>>
I can fuck like 60 min like an animal and finally cum without feeling much.

> circumcision made it possible.

Thank you Mr Goldberg, thank you for making me all life unsatisfiable for the rest of my life.
>>
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>>702565883
your retarded m80

>>702565563
ive seen this before when i walked through the door for her
>>
Take my External HDD's power cord and use it on my genitals like a cheap electro-cockring kind of thing. I normally just put it up my ass now and it makes my cock twitch but I can't ejaculate just from it, makes me leak like crazy though.

Be careful before you go and try this, similar cables, like for my speakers or whatever, are actually a lot stronger and hurt, this doesn't at all.
>>
>>702565563
future sex offender registry member,
>>702565967
maybe
>>
>>702558896
I also smell dishes before using them
>>
>>702565967
How do you feel not knowing which?
>>
>>702561976
No, I don't like any games played against another person except for trivia games.
>>
i cup my balls whenever im not doing anything with my left hand , lately ive started doing it in the middle of conversations without thinking about it
>>
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>>702565999
>>
>>702556264

yes and? do you think life is a clinical procedure?
fuck off with ur faggy fears, harden the fuck up kid.
>>
>>702565999
sik
>>
>>702556264
>wipe my dick with toilet paper to get the piss off
yep, I'm the weird one.
>>
>>702565563
I hope someone catches you and takes a massive fucking shit in your ass.
>>
I sleep in between 2 mattresses, theres no bed frame.

I put girls stockings on my head before I sleep.

I put ChapStick on my lips, cream all over my body, and vasaline on my hands and feet before I sleep.

I don't brush my teeth for weeks and when I finally do I spit blood because of how dirty my gums are.

I drink a full jug of milk with every meal, no matter what it is.

I shower once a week just so I can smell my balls.

I stick my step sisters razors up my ass and don't clean them.

I wear shorts in the rain just to show other people that they're little bitches.

I go outside at night hopping to catch someone breaking in, stealing, etc so I can hurt them badly without being punished.
>>
>>702562505
It's from jacking off too much. Happened to me at my peak of jerkin it literally hundreds of times a day. I'm down to dozens now and can fuck my girlfriend for hours now.
>>
>>702559304
thought this was the norm
>>
>>702560205

holy fucking shit
>>
>>702567562
lol you snorted one of his coke jizz bags didnt ya
>>
>>702559723
is.... is that the pink ranger?
>>
>>702558896

I rinse all my utensils, plates, cups, glasses, pots, pans etc... before I use them.
>>
>>702561282

yeah, this
>>
>>702567567
you would literally die if you jerked off hundreds of times a day
>>
>>702559772

OMG, I've done this all my life! My gf thinks I'm crazy.
>>
>>702561579
Mmm. Love me some ball stank. I think every man likes to smell their own sack.
>>
>>702556264
>>702556264
>>can't sleep without the sheet over my ear and feets under it
Same here, the fear comes from hearing whispers, helps to block it out.
>>
>>702564208
I also do that
literally the only way a modern man can display his dominance and power
>>
I have never cum from a blowjob.
>>
Every morning when I wake up to go to the bathroom I give myself a light slap to be sure that I'm actually awake, dont wanna wake up realising I pissed myself
>>
I love to fart into my own hand and smell it. Sometimes I hold farts in until I'm about to explode and sit on a chair and blast it all into the cushion so I can smell the stanky upholstery. Sometimes I take baths instead of showers so I can fart in the water and smell the bubbles as they come up and pop in my face.
>>
>>702568807
fuck off anthony
>>
>>702560426
since my asshole seems to be hairy I have to always wash after taking a shite..I probably have the cleanest arse in the united kingdom as not one of my underwear is skidmarked
>>
>>702562163
Do this with a finger, when releasing I call it the fire hose
>>
>>702567563
I'm so glad I don't know you.
>>
>>702568856
I also did that when I was a teenager...
>>
>>702556264
i do the sheet over the ear thing
>>
>>702569136
Why? I think we'd be good friends anon :)
>>
>>702559304
Is that gmcfosho ? Done that shit once never really done it afterthought
>>
>>702569065
Every time I masturbate, I clamp my fingers over my dick right behind the head right before I ejaculate so the cum doesn't get out. Then I walk to the bathroom and let it out into the toilet. At first, it was really painful to hold it back but I'm pretty sure I stretched out my urethra over time because it doesn't feel like anything now and when I let go it just falls out with no pressure.
>>
>I don't jack off, rather I massage my penis as it makes much less noise than jacking it and I don't live alone.
>I have a fap folder full of sorted folders of pictures and videos of girls I know. I have like probably around 60 folders with about an average of 50-100 files per each. One in particular is at about 250. They're generally full of facebook and instagram pictures. I also make sure to have the highest possible resolution of each image or video (so no cropped versions of other pictures, no thumbnails, etc. etc.)
>>
>>702569371
You're greasy and you smell bad, your teeth are disgusting and you may snap at any time.

Other than that, you're a real charmer.
>>
Cry to random songs. Sometimes it's a song on the radio, sometimes it's a song playing overhead at an event/store, sometimes I even look them up on YouTube
>>
>spit in peoples drinks or food that i despise
>shoot snot rockets in peoples hair that i despise
>lotion self up when alone
>shave once a week
>put hand sanitizer on my wounds to feel the burn
>dont wash hands after i touch myself
>if i touch my asshole i will not touch my dick
>only farts silently
>frequently collects my cum and rubs it on objects that i dont like touch
>dont talk unless spoken to. Just smile
>eat like 8 times a day but only in small portions
>clean under nails by putting my tooth under my nail and running it under
>shower about 4 times a week never on weekends
>constantly paranoid someone will hit me
Idk
>>
>>702569635
literally me
>>
"That i dont like touch"
I meamt that the people i dont like touch
>>
>>702556759
>>
>>702569635
>I have a fap folder full of sorted folders of pictures and videos of girls I know.
mega upload pls
>>
>>702562412
>Not saying "poop-en-kha-mun"
>Missed opportunity.

>Mfw when it sounds like "poop incoming"
>mfw i have no face
>>
>>702557089
do this all the time. friends think im crazy until they try it
>>
>>702558695
i do this kek
>>
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>>702556264
>my bearded dragon look at my penis
>so i shove it in his fucking face some time to stop it
>>
>>702569660
I don't smell bad at all actually. My sister never realizes if I've showered or not (I've asked a ton of times) the only time you can smell my balls is if I'm in my underwear and have my legs spread wide open.

My teeth are actually really white and I don't have any cavities, fillings, etc and because I generate a lot of saliva my breath smells just as bad as yours, no worse or greater.
>>
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>Whenever I do physical activity the saliva pools up so I spit it out. Do it on treadmills, weights, outside, and during fapping (spit on the dick tho)

>Unconsciously rub my dick whenever I see something arousing, was caught stroking the weasel in middle and high school multiple times.

>I mock everyone around me by imitating them in an autistic voice, when I get really pissed off I start doing it in front of them and call them retarded.

And the best part about all of this is I have 130 iq, hyper autist checking in.
>>
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>>702558695
A better way of taking ninja shits is to drop a piece of tissue into the toilet then pooping. It keeps water from splashing when dump lands on the tissue. God you're autistic
>>
>>702564775
I know that feel.
Even told myself way back when I'd an hero if I ever became retarded.
Botched surgery later and I just decided to re teach myself everything.
Only a few people noticed and just blamed it on weed, despite not smoking lol.
>>
>>702565999
Hi me

Especially the girlfriend thing, ive had 4 pretty hot gfs now, but at the moment, everything women say is just pure bullshit and non-useful stuff
>>
>i sleep with my socks on
>>
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>>702570316
bro
>>
I can tolerate 30 fps with ease
>>
>>702559772
I sometimes do that. Not so much anymore though.
>>
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>>702570668
I actually take showers with my socks on, then I roll them up (they roll up really well), I dry off a bit then open my armoire and put the socks in, once they dry I unroll the dried ones and wear them.
>>
>>702570571
already covered this
>>702561205
and here
>>702562168

as long as i clean my hands there's fuck all wrong with my method tbqh
>>
>>702570338
Roadside bomb burn victim ptsd Pepe.
>>
>>702570903
Oh, and sometimes I use them as fleshlights too, have to use lots of lotion otherwise you'll get rug burn.
>>
>>702557245
yes, it can. I had almost the same problem. My advice mate, if you want something easy to start havinf social interaction again is to take classes of something, wathever you would like to learn, i took dancing (because i thought it would be useful) and singing/guitar because i had 2 guitars at home and nobody played them. Also as i was fat and lazy i started doing some basic workout 3 times a week wich later became a HIIT routine every morning before i start doing my daily stuff. Changed my life a lot, i'm not awkward in public anymore and can actually talk to people, plus i met a girl who is a lot into personal care and shit, she told me some things like how to clean my face from stains and those little black spot, and how to dress up and cut my hair to be more attractive, sounds gay as fuck that shit is gold, works like magic
>>
masturbate too straight guy on girl vaginal porn
>>
>>702566034
I feel bad for you
>>
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>>702571028
>>
>>702571084
Every str8 guy has his price? ;)
>>
>>702556264
I eat seashells and sometimes dip them in honey mustard
>>
>>702569732
maybe see a therapist homie
>>
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>>702571386
>>
I have a broken tooth in the back of my mouth. I hate going to the dentist, so when I got a cavity I let it ride until it got huge, then my tooth cracked open and I still didn't go. It hurt for a really long time, but now it doesn't. Some kind of discharge comes out if I suck on it, it tastes like some kind of weird garbage but I kind of like it.
>>
>>702565044
I guess we only need these handy dandy quads to kill you then.
>>
>>702570806
I've played the whole GTA 5 campaign on 25 FPS. Will generally play a game that I love as long as its over 10-15 FPS
>>
When im home alone (married with 2 kids) and I know with absolute sincerity that nobody is coming home, I go the middle of the living room (biggest free space) I lie on my back or side and try to shit my pants without bending my legs into a seating position. When I am absolutely filled in my pants I grab my dick and jerk it until I cum all over myself. I always take a trash bag with me so I can safely undress into it so no traces of feces go anywhere else, I keep the shitstain on me as I wipe the stains of my clothes before putting it in the laundry (a bag of shit would smear the washing machine) I usually burn the bag right outside unless I manage to get the bag shitfree.

Then I prepare a hot shower and I bask in the cleanliness under the shower head as I wash away each strain of shit between my bums.

I don't really know why, but it feels so rewarding to be so shitsoaked and shampoo clean afterwards.

I usually open both front door and back as I let the scent escape so everybody is clueless about it.
>>
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>>702572048
Nope, my power is maximum.
>>
>>702556264
I have to scrape my tongue on my teeth and it sometimes gets really bad. It once got so bad that I lost some of my taste
>>
>>702571734
oh god you're me in the not too distant future. i've been riding out a broken molar for 2 years now and it think it's going to give way any time now
>>
>>702559723
the jaw clicking is TMJ prolly
>>
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>>702571734
>>
I peel skin out of my soles. Also I never clip my nails. Peeling them too.
>>
>>702572258
"surprise! honey we're home early we have takeout"
>>
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Pull out my pubic hair and bite off the follicle part and spit it out
>>
>>702572751
As I said, Only if im 100% sure, like they are staying the night at my inlaws or are out of town
>>
>>702572735
I do this too skin picking
>>
>>702566034
i can last that long, sometimes more

>i'm uncut

i don't know why tho' i feel a lot but usually i won't cum during sex (unless we fuck a long time) sometimes my body is tired before i'm even close to cum (or my gf pussy can't take it anymore)
>>
I let my dog eat my cum
>>
>>702572978
still, what do you think you'd do if your wife walked in on that?
>>
>>702558483
Damn i love those snapea Crisps.
>>
>>702559723
My jaw clicks too sometimes, if I've been grinding in my sleep
>>
>>702573155
>gf pussy can't take it anymore

I had this problem with an old gf but it would happen randomly. I'd be thrusting in and out either with her propped up on top with my legs or just in missionary.

I'd be going in and out in and out she'd be moaning but sometimes she'd end up going OW OW OW. So I'd stop and slowly pull out. I'd always ask her what kind of pain was it and where did it hurt she said it felt like stinging/throbbing. Wonder what causes that? I'm not big so idk
>>
wipe my ass; sniff the tp with the shit on it.
>>
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>>702573721
AREN'T THEY JUST THE BEST?! I have a couple of bags now, and I'm trying to restrain myself from eating one. Them and Brownie Brittle.
>>
Time my poops so they're always right before I shower
>>
>>702574198
I do that daily. Usually in the morning or before I go out. I am both clean and sure that I wont have stomach pains while I'm not home
>>
>bite the skin on my fingertips and my nails when i'm not doing anything
When they get wet, I can see the layers of skin I went through.
>>
>>702573155
isn't that just masturbating too much + death grip syndrome or getting in the habit of edging?
>>
>>702560367
duuude same. But only for a short time after I wake up.
no clue whats up with that
>>
when i'm bored in public i play the drums inside my mouth with my tongue hitting the sides of my gums/teeth. only i can hear my 1 toned jam session
>>
>>702570554
means shit when you behave like that
>>
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also in the mirror i pretend the underside of my tongue is a little blue eyed ghost that can expand when you flair your tongue (it makes it look evil) pic related
>>
When I go to people's houses I use the bathroom when i don't have to.

I use the time to go thru their medicine cabinet's and drawers hoping to find cool stuff

I've come across dildos and a bottle of oxy that belonged to Ian from Smosh when I went to a party at his house.

I took 4 of them (5mg) and the party was ALOT better because everyone there was autistic
>>
>>702565694
I believe that is called mild OCD
>>
I like to fap on busses on my way back from work
>>
>>702575804
how do you not get caught
>>
>>702575952
sit on the back of the bus, hope theres no camera above me, place bag on lap or at the side as a cover and just fap using only my wrist to move so there's not alot of movement. I had a woman sitting 2 seats infront of me as i jizzed today, such a turn on.
>>
>>702575583
Maybe so, but my calves are on point.
>>
>>702560741
Bro there's seriously nothing wrong with watching anime, unless you're watching something like Madoka Magic. I know grown men with wives and children who watch anime, and are beyond normal people, with blue collar working class jobs.
>>
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>>702560426
no way this cant be real, surely noone can be that disgusting
>>
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>>702576541
....I happen to love Madoka. I even have the Weib Schwarz deck.
>>
>>702560426
I do, but I use new toilet-paper each time
>>
>>702577041
Well maybe a better example would be something like Boku no Pico. Regardless, just don't act like a weeb in public and you're golden man.
>>
>>702566924
holy shit same
>>
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>>702577217
I think you mean...
>Golden Boy
But yeah, outside of a few anime shirts, I pretty much keep it to myself.
>>
>When i'm in a friend's house i have to check the fridge
>I wet my hands several times in a hour
>i always have bruises on my legs thanks to get hit with tables.
>>
Daye
2912 Redbud Lane Round Rock Texas

She fucked over /b/ owes us nudes.
>>
>>702572549
This. I have it. Get a retainer
>>
>>702577384
Then yeah don't sweat it homie, that's normal af.
>>
>>702577705
Ordering pizza then swatting that nigger
>>
>>702557106
this is ultra laughable, only fucking faggots use hand sanitizer. I wash the shit out of my hands, but hand sanitizer? Fuck no. The reason I wash is so I don't have greasy ass chemicals or perfumes on my hands when I go to eat. Bar of soap that I pre and post-rinse. No liquid soap. No fucking dish soap (never comes off). NO FUcKING PERFUMES.
>>
>>702557733
>>wipe my ass both directions several times, folding the paper each time, until it's completely white
>completely white

Huh?
>>
>>702558151
would never be an option for me, I piss 12 times a day, rivers. Drink too much water, liquor, and water.
>>
>>702577960
The paper must be white, otherwise it's unclean. Both the paper and my ass.
>真っ白になれろう。
>>
>>702558186
I sleep with just a sheet but thats because in fucking california you get tired of weaking up drenched in sweat, fuck comforters.
>>
>>702574543
nah, i just masturbate like twice a week, but i do edging. What's death grip syndrome?
>>
>>702558896
>>702566220
same, and they always smells like FUCKING DISH SOAP

there is no good smelling dish soap, they're all fucking pure perfume, fuuuuuckkkkk I hate that shit.

Fuck fabric softner too. It's fucking greasy perfume that ruins clothes. I will re-wash my clothes if a fabric softner sheet ends up in the dryer somehow.
>>
>>702573743
i think it has something to do with the pussy's lubrication, girl could start to run low on that after fucking too much, at least that happened to my gf even if she is horny and enjoying it
>>
>>702566500
my father walks around slapping his balls thru sweatpants when hes up early on a weekend morning in sweatpants on the phone. Only on the phone. Slapping his balls while looking down at the ground and pacing, totally oblivious.
>>
I keep my dick pulled up and tucked into my waistband to get rid of the bulge
>>
>>702565977
I'm at that point where I have to be watching something when I eat too.
>>
>>702556264
>Before I leave my house, I have to wash my hands in case I eat something with my bare hands

Ill do this, and when my hands feel grimy again and i cant get to a sink, ill have to eat with napkins covering my hands :/
>>
>I wash my hands whenever I feed my cats because I don't want my hands smelling like cat food.
>>
>>702556264
>Before I leave my house, I have to wash my hands in case I eat something with my bare hands

Ill do this, and when my hands feel grimy again and i cant get to a sink to wash them, ill eat with napkins covering my hands
>>
>>702564328
>sit down
>turn on spray
>it hits the taint and my balls
>have to use more toilet paper to clean up as a result
>trying not to wipe back to front but don't feel dry enough without vigorous scrubbing
>gave my dick warts from my butt somehow

Thanks anon
>>
>>702562929
she's one of those
>>
>>702577920
>never comes off

You're using too much, dumbass. It only takes a tiny drop to make a bucket of suds, how much do you think you need for your dainty little hands?
>>
>>702570438
>and because I generate a lot of saliva my breath smells just as bad as yours

ackshully they say dry mouth is what causes bad smell and other problems. the bacteria thrive in a wet environment, yes, but they also need oxygen. since they thrive in the crevices already, less saliva is better.
>>
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>>702564699
>bite off toenails
>>
>>702570571
jesus christ kiddo, out of the 10 people who haven't thought of that, anyone on here who has lurked for 30 seconds already has seen someone else say that "life hack", youre fucking mega dense for not realizing how obvious it is, thinking youre goddamned Q from james bond.

>they say ignorant people tend to underestimate others
>while intelligent people are often let down due to overestimating
guess we know which you are
>>
>>702576487
I don't doubt it. I used to have a similar issue wherein I had to do anything I did incorrectly backwards and do it again. Such as; if I tried to turn a light off and missed the switch slightly, I would have to miss the switch again backwards and try again. I have no idea why I did it. This applied to almost everything I did for a year or so.
>>
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>>702565563
>>
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>>702567562
>>
>>702578747
>>702578846
*Post*
there was an error with your post
*Post*
>>
>>702569011
You're legitimately going to get pink eye
>>
>>702579102
a drop is too much as well, it still never fucking comes off. you think if I hate something I am drenching my hands in it? I completely avoid the shit now because it's intolerable. Bar soap or die. Pre rinse it because as a famous nigger said: SOAP DONT BE DIRTY. SOAP CLEAN SOAP.
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