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Post No. 702552086
>my only female friend left me
>she's from city 50 miles far from me
>every minute with each other irl was fuckin' miracle for both of us
>only grill I ever liked
>we both liked science, silence, night and stars
>few days ago we've almost fucked
>we know each other for like year
>we spent every fuckin minute writing to each other
>poetry, sexting, fashion, usual stuff
>I couldnt talk to her about everything, she knows shit about philosophy and politics
>she's not ideal
>she liked to psychically mutilate me because she cared too much 'bout me
>desperatly mutilating me because I'm far away from her and can't be with her right now
>I liked it, gave me imunnity to whores, after few her tries to hurt me I almost always started pretending I'm hurt, just to please her
>few mins ago I started mutilating her over some shit
>told myself "Why the fuck shouldn't I if I have survived it for year?"
>she told me that today she wanted me to come over
>she blocked me everywhere
>I wanna kill myslef
What to do? How can I get over such loss?
Just btw, I'm not beta male. Just tried to keep that gem for myself. Never met girl like this before. So unique.
Pic not related, I don't have any pic of her, but she loves NASA. I'm so fucking ill of it. Yesterday we would have hook up too. I'm addicted to her. Already smoking 3rd cigarette as substite.