Hey guys its me again.
I'm about to have sex for the first time with a virgin girl. And I'm scared out of my mind right now about what to expect and if I'll get caught.
I herd that popping a cherry makes a loud noise, kinda like a shotgun going off to warn family members of the sexual act being committed on their daughter.
I'm afraid of her family hearing it and come breaking thru the door to kick my ***.
Is there a way I can suppress this cherry pop? Would a condom help? Can I put a pillow between my dick and her pussy to muffle out the loud noise?
Help me out!
>I herd that popping a cherry makes a loud noise, kinda like a shotgun going off to warn family members of the sexual act being committed on their daughter
I can;t even fucking breathe OP
Do I need to tape the bedroom windows so that they don't shatter?
I've seen people put tape on their windows before and was wondering if that had something to do with it.
Good to see a fellow anon reading up on this. I will help you prepare for this, Ive been down this road. So first and foremost, you DO NOT want any family members in the house, let alone within a 1/4 mile radius of where the cherry popping will take place. This is critical. IF, for some reason they are within range, there are steps you MUST take to prevent them from being alarmed. Get her naked, and lay her on the bed. Next, have her spread open her legs and apply a half cup of peanut butter inside her vagina and around her vaginal opening. Do not use pb with nuts. So once the peanut butter is applied inside and out, proceed to line up your penis with half the head inside of her, ready to go in. Now squeeze her sides with your hands, and upon release, THRUST as hard as you can inside her with all your might. The pressure differential of the squeeze release and thrust will dampen the any noise, and the peanut butter will prevent any noise from escaping her. If done correctly, the cherry will be popped and no noise will be heard. There will be blood, but this is normal. Now the fun part, I usually prefer slightly toasted wheat bread, but you can use any kind of your liking. Proceed to scrape out the peanut butter and "jelly" and use it on your bread to make a sandwich. Congratulations, you now have a tasty snack and a fuckable partner! Don't knock it till you try it anons.
All I have is pb with nuts.
Does that present a fragmentation hazard? My dad is in the Army, would using bullet proof vest material be acceptable?
I could poke a hole in it and see if that works.
What the fuck? Man, you got self reflecting to do, don't ya.
A fucking hyman (cherry) don't make no loud shot gun pop. Just strip that bitch naked and hit that shit like a caveman.
Dude you are so fucking retarded it must be unreal
It is actually an evolutionary fuction.
Back in the caveman period of humanity, noone would marry a non virgin female.
Once you hear the eardrum-bursting sound of cherry-popping, you will most likely be able to identify where it came from.
This is for the greater good. it encourages monogamy, and the raising of the offsprings.
If the girl has an outie hyman, you're definitely gonna want that bulletproof vest if all you got is chunky pb. Something like 5-10% of girls have an innie, though. When an innie pops, it doesn't make any noise, but it will implode, causing an incredible amount of suction. My friend's gf in highschool had such an innie that when he popped it, it sucked his dick right off, along with the bedsheet an an alarm clock. They had to go to the ER and sew it back on. About the best thing you can do is get hard, then cover your dick in duct tape, then put the condom on. Make sure everything in the room is secured. I don't think you'd be amiss wearing some safety goggles, too. Then put on that vest and apply the peanut butter, and you kids can have a great time.
Probably also warded off predators while people were having sex.
But now its going to get my ass caught.
Speaking of ass, if I just fuck her in the ass will it make a loud noise as well?
well, its easier to clean up the shitstains than muffling the sound.
I suppose you could take her on a roadtrip and get the deed done there. Or alternatively, hire a trained professional with great experience to get it done.
It is the truth, I penetrated an asshole and a massive pop that literally defened me for a solid 5 minutes went off, it smelled terrible and filled the whole room. When I pulled my cock out it was covered in blood and fecal matter. She wouldn't stop crying and starting shitting and pissing everywhere. I started shaking her to pull her out of it. The doctors told me a few hours later that she had died of shaken baby syndrome.
I'm a visual learner.
Is this description adequate for what I need to do?
I would do the rope method, but attach to a climbing harness, otherwise you could get whiplash pretty bad. And don't forget to use a stud finder, or you're gonna be patching drywall.