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How would you go about committing the perfect...
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How would you go about committing the perfect murder?

Asking for a friend.
>>
>>702512797
>asking for a friend

lol ok
>>
>>702512797
Easy.

>>buy rope
>>hang self
>>
>kill
>eat body
>dispose of stains, weapon, and clothes you used that day
>eat stains, weapon, and clothes you used
>go to detroit in all blue
>die
>eat the body
>>
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>>702512797
Use this, it always worked for me.
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>>702512797
Would just take my chances most murders go unsolved so odds are on his side
>>
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>>702513292
>most murders go unsolved

nope
>>
>>702513783
1/3 in 'murica go unsolved.

Mostly because nobody really cares about apes.
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>>702512797
It's not about the murder going unsolved

It's about the murder never being investigated
>>
>>702513292
>>702513783

Murders in which the killer targets a RANDOM person that they have no connection to whatsoever normally goes unsolved 90% of the time, especially if it's carried out somewhere far from home in some forest or whatever, where it takes a long time to find the body and the DNA evidence (if any) has time to get compromised. Just do NOT contaminate the scene with your semen, no matter how rapey you feel. However, if you keep on murdering, they can start finding the patterns in your behavior and catch you. Do it only once.
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>>702514432
that's a good point

I guess I'd commit the murder in some shitty nigger country where you can pay the police off
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>>702515098
you stupid faggot.
you can rape and semen all you want.
so long as you arent already on the database from breaking the law and getting caught previously.
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>>702515098
Correct.

Suspect X ftw.
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>>702515314
Of a family member that they can narrow down the focus from.
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>>702515098
Also. It's way esier when that peron goes "missing" Basically you kidnapp someone by the river or in the forest. They will keep searching there istead of looking for murderer.
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>>702515314
>you can rape and semen all you want.

You're going to get caught, nigga. Eventually you'll have to leave a sample or something at the doctors and then they'll catch you. You honestly think the feds don't cross-reference their databases with the healthcare ones? Of course they do.
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>>702515547
they wont start testing family members in another state in the hopes that one of them that couldve possibly been connected to the murder was amongst them.
be random. that was the idea.
>>702515765
no.. they dont.
where do you even get your information faggot?
>>
>>702515765
there are patient/doctor confidentiality laws.
they would need a warrant most likely. ive never heard of a case like this however.
>>
>>702516040
because in the age of the patriot act and NSA fuckery the FBI is 100% by the books and wouldn't do that and then find another way to link you to the crime.
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>>702515204
>some shitty nigger country where you can pay the police off

or Portugal, where the police are clearly utterly fucking incompetent
>>
>>702515886
You trust in your government too much. It's 2016 - They WILL do what they can to catch you, even if they have to bend the rules a bit. Noone's going to give them shit for checking into you nowadays - You know they already spy on you and your people isn't doing shit about that; Even going as far as calling Snowden a TRAITOR. Why would this be any different?
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>>702516262
blatantly the parents. Makes me so angry that they've gotten away with hiding in plain sight.
>>
Tsk tsk tsk, you guys have it all wrong. It's not about not getting caught, it's about making everyone THINK you've been caught. Leave just enough evidence at each crime scene to make them thing they're on the killer's trail, then when you get bored leave enough evidence to close the case. In other words, frame someone else. They'll think they've got the killer behind bars, and you'll walk away scot-free. If you still feel like killing people, just move to another area, hell maybe even another country. Rinse, lather, repeat.
>>
>>702512797

Stab them to death with an icicle?
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>>702512797
Step 1: Never tell anyone, including people on 'Anonymous websites', which have a history of giving out user information in court cases. (fuck you moot)

Step 2: Never tell anyone ever, because then they'll know a new method of the perfect murder, and develop ways to detect it. (fuck you FBI)

Step 3: Success.
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>>702516414
I honestly believed 2016 was going to be the year they got arrested and charged, seems the Potuguese police have hopelessly fucked the case up though
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>>702516279
take off your tinfoil hat faglord.
they spy in mass in most cases. and thats through the internet.
unless you were seriously compromising their personal position, or making blatant terrorism type threats and acting on them, they wont "bend the rules" and waste tons of resources to catch you.
be a low-key killer.
make ripples and sink beneath the surface.
dont be the autistic spazzing retard with the extra toe making waves thinking he wont be caught. a by-product of generations of inbreeding. daughters having daughters and they are all in the single digits of age.
faggot.
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>>702516524
Always frame murder victims using previous murder victims.

This also works with rape as well, you just have to keep a sample of semen from each dude you rape, and plant it on the next victim.
>>
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Mass Shooter style
>Lots of bombs
>High Capacity Shotgun with huge spread
>???
>"Not guilty by way of insanity"

Or kill people the legal way, pay your taxes.
>>
train a chimpanzee to use a Uzi
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>>702512797
Insulin, in the spine. Just so you know.
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>>702512797
>Tell your friend to google how to commit suicide
>Have him google shotguns
>Shoot him with a shotgun
>Put shotgun in his hands
>Profit?
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>>702516960
?
>>
>>702517026
>puncture marks

goto jail, directly to jail.
>>
Use gloves. If you use a gun always take the bullets out of the body. Drive the corpse at least 80 km away from where you live. Bury it in the middle of nowhere.
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>>702517026
Coincidentally, I've just spent three weeks in hospital following severe diabetic hypoglycemia. Had two spinal tape because they thought I might have mengingitis. Tracheotomy, ventilator, heavy sedation, the full nine yards.

insulin isn't a very reliable means of murder, most people will recover from the hypoglycemia.

pic related, the small scar left from the tracheotomy
>>
Stage the muder like a suicide staged murder
>>
Quads
>>
>>702517372
Also, there's no point injecting insulin into the spine. Insulin signals the liver to store blood glucose. You'd get a far faster and more pronounced effected by injecting it into an artery.
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>>702517787
checked

and found wanting
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>>702517787
Nic quads
>>
titty fuck tha lasagna
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>>702516856
>waste tons of resources to catch you
>all they need to do is an automatic search to see if your semen's DNA matches anything in their database
>literally takes less than an hour and is fully automatic
>stay pleb
>>
>>702517737
Popo will eventually find out he was "suicided"
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