>Sometimes I hug my pillow
>Just to feel warmth
>I'll hug it so hard my arms ache
>And that'll make it warm
>But never will I feel warm inside...
Help me /b/...
I can't kill myself yet... I need to make sure there's not something teasing me beyond the horizon...
But I'm planning for when I hit 30 to just end it
There's this guy I have friended on Skype. He's on so infrequently but I can't get him out of my mind. We've flirted a bit, we've basically given solace to each other, and we've both said seeing each other is something we'd like to happen. I just wish he'd say something more often than he does.
Come over here, anon. I'll hold you.
Because I determined 30 to be long enough to endure this, and if I don't find it by then, I don't want to continue any longer.
I remember having fun with my brother sometimes
I wish I could still do that, man
He would sometimes do really mean things, like one time he picked me up by the neck, and one time he started talking about how he always wanted to kill me
He was joking
But he did want to kill himself...
The worst losses are the ones you didn't say goodbye to, because they were ripped from you with no conclusions...
My last words were "come back to me later"...
Come back to me...
Tell me something about yourself. How old are you now? What are you doing, in regards to school or work. Are you seeing anyone? Do you have friends you can confide in? Why don't you talk to your family?
It never concerned me, or concerned to minimally, how my suicide would affect anyone who knew me.
Moved to a new city about a year ago. Left college friends behind. Have a good job, nice place, every measure of success but a social life.
For all you anons out there thinking material success is the answer I can assure you it isn't. Having things doesn't mean anything if you don't have people to share it with.
I wish Victor hadn't just disappeared from my life. He was such a good friend.
I know you're right, but I'd rather not be living at home at 31 & depressed. At least I wouldn't be feeling like such a loser.
18, working at a Staples, senior in hs. I have no friends, man. I go to class, do my work, carry any group activities, and cry myself to sleep every night.
I don't talk to my family. My mom is an alcoholic and fucks people whenever she's lonely. She just spiraled even further down after my brother left.
My dad is a distant person, and I know I couldn't tell him anything, without him trying to get me on more medication.
I can't talk to them.
I think about them constantly and they are so important to me, but I can barely even bring my fingers to my keyboard to type a Skype message to them, let alone hold a conversation with them in real life. I think I may even love them. But I know they don't feel that way about me. They probably never will. And so I sit there every day, looking at them, thinking about them, wanting to talk to them, but knowing that this is all one-sided and nothing will ever come of it. I'm pathetic, actually. They are my motivator, the reason I lost weight, the reason my grades got better, the reason I started dressing nicer, but to them, I'm just another person they know. Not special. Just someone they talk to, just like they'd talk to anyone else. And yet I keep convincing myself that somehow, there's a little part of them that might like me. But that's not true, is it? If you're reading this, and I know you're not, I love you.
I wanna see more from this guy...
Not because it's just such a great story,
But because it's someone who had a bad life, then it turned around, and he has a happy life now... I want that man. I want it so bad.
Yeah a year ago I was in debt. On anti-depressants and really had no path forward.
Flash forward to now, I'm a front end architect for a software firm at 22 years old but I don't relate to my coworkers because they're all 30 and have kids and whatnot.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the grass is always greener man. Take account of what you do have in your life and be thankful rather than looking at what you don't have and feel shitty.
It could always be worse
You have time, at least. You need someone to talk to, though; it'll get far easier if you have someone to unload to at the end of the day.
Are you the guy above?
I've only posted with images, I guess so you can identify me. I've tried to confide in people. I wrote a journal of all my thoughts, and tried to give it to her, and she started giving it to her friends, and they would mock me with it.
It's funny. I remember back when I was younger I would look at the older kids in school and wish I was them. Then I got here, and I want to go back.
What happened to this man? Several weeks ago he decided to go back to his gf after the baby issues, and I haven't seen anything since...
Don't fucking kill yourself you stupid twat.
I've thought about it a lot myself. To kill yourself when you're totally worthless would verify everyone's opinions of you that you are worthless/good for nothing/etc... instead make something out of yourself. Matter to people. If you still feel that nagging feeling that life is pointless and painful and you'd rather not partake then by all means kill yourself. But to do it at your weakest point? to quit when things are tough... well you'd just be proving a lot of people right.
I don't understand why people get aggressive when trying to tell people not to kill themselves
I don't plan to do it regardless of circumstances. I'm giving this life 12 more years, and if nothing good comes of it, I don't want to worry about the rest of it.
Watching stranger things I thought that too. Can't get caught looking at other points in your life. Gotta focus on the here and now and live it up so you don't look back thinking why you spent so much time thinking about how you didnt take advantage of opportunities....
Its like in any moba when people say gg just because they got rolled in a teamfight. You can still comeback. and honestly overcoming adversity to have success makes it all the more rewarding. So to see someone give up is upsetting. Keep fighting. You might pull a win out of your ass.
Got dumped by my gf of 3 years a while back.
Don't make the mistake of trying to say things or do things to intentionally hurt her. I know it might seem like the right idea but really deep down you probably just want to make her feel as bad as she made you feel.
Live well. Its the best revenge.
I'm on anti-depressants and it's great, it helps with the fact that my life is in shambles and living at home at 31... (I wish /b/ had IDs, it'd be nice to know who made which post).
I can't re-write what I just lost (I wasn't looking at the keys and kept hitting the alt button and then the escape button, and then I pressed the escape button twice.)
I used to write though. And it really helped. I stopped during high school and wouldn't try it again. I struggle with the same problems year after year, so there's nothing worth remembering.
I only ever gave my journal entries out a couple of times and, in the end, it was never used against me fortunately. Is there something of yours I could see?
Kevin does the same to me. He's who I'm working out for now, the person I want to attract. I hope something happens with him and he doesn't just disappear into the void.
Spooning with a friend, or esp the person you love, is the greatest thing in the world.
My goddamn life.
He's young (he'll be 19 if we meet next year), tall & thinnish (6'1 & 220), rather shy, & has some of the same difficulties as me. He's just really easy to get along with and, physically, everything I love in a guy. I recently went through a break up, leaving me feeling alone and terrified at times, and talking to him makes me forget about that and excites me. I'm not using him as a rebound, my feelings are legitimate, but it's still nice to have him around to distract me.
What about James?
When you see your files with the saved names in your comp on a feel thread.
James is a little taller than I am and very pale. He's got the cutest dark pale eyes. He's into the same stuff as I am-- specifically anime and League of Legends. He initiates conversations with me sometimes, but I find it's hard to keep anything going for too long because I'm ridiculously shy. Which really doesn't help because we keep getting paired up for group-work at our school.
I'm just gonna post the thread killers after this and go to bed. This thread's failed. Good night, /b/
Have you suggested you two do something outside of school? Anything, in other words, to let him know you're into him?
It's nice that Kevin & I fell into each others lap. But it's difficult that we talk to infrequently; though whatever else is going on, I know school starts for him soon and he's struggling to find his way in life (thinking about it now, it would be nice if I could be that person to accompany him.
He said he's been wanting to play League of Legends with me. Honestly, I'm afraid to disappoint him by being bad at the game.
It's hard with not talking often. I think the best you can do is try to make every conversation as meaningful as possible.
Ya, things have started to got really personal & I appreciate any time he has for me.
Don't worry about being bad, just keep any games low-risk so you can show him how good you are without risking anything major. Or just tell him you play casually. But don't worry about not being very good, he won't mind.
But at least he seems to reciprocate your feelings. It promises to lead you two closer together, maybe even a relationship.