Hey /b/ on the fence about suicide. Talk me into it or out of it, no rolls,I just am too fuckin tired to care. The pic is an unraveled hanger that will probably go through my ear tonight.
I just wanna tell my story though, make fun of me or don't I just don't care anymore.
Been through hell as a child, mom had Munchhausen by proxy, no dad, sister molested and tortured me, moms boyfriends beat me and physiologically fucked with me daily, blah blah sad boo hoo poor me childhood. met my dad at 24, hated him instantly. Garbage human being, don't know why it even caught me off guard at that point. uhhh... Live alone, have had a decent number of girlfriends, never even really cared about any. Had one girl that I opened up to. Told her why I'm always the way I am, like my life story, not the abridged "it's been rough". I opened up to her, The only other person to see me actually cry after 22. I have BPD so I fucked it up with her. That was almost a year ago. I got a hold of her again and we were catching up. Scared her off again and know I probably won't hear from her again, she's busy with her life and I'm just toxic. Not worth her time. But it bothers me. And as much of a joke my entire life is.... The punchline is after all the shit I've been through, a fuckin chick is where I draw the line. I know I'm pathetic, but please remind me cause I need to be reminded. Btw, I am in intensive therapy (outpatient psych) It isn't getting better. I just want this to stop. What do /b/ros?
usually I'd say an hero an become legend. but don't do it OP no matter how shitty life can be and get and it can get to the point where shit like what you're considering seems feasible, it will get better if you just wait it out and will get better faster if you work at bettering it. Why give the world the satisfaction of your death? You should be thinking fuck the world and I'm going to make the world my bitch, fuck what people think, fuck everything but do it while living
tbh OP , its not like you were are faggot or something .
Drop the glasses , get a beard , undercut and then you exist.
No need to forget the past but boi , its in the past so remember it when you are faping or something and then just don't give a fuck about it , when you tell it to a girl you have to feel proud of it , yes its what happened and i assume it.
End of story fag
if you really want to take a huge shit in the face of all the adversity you've been dealt. show the universe you will take it all in stride and live out your life with your head up so as to show that no matter what comes your way, you don't give a single flying fuck about any of it.
that and maybe kill your family.
I like that last part. They do suck.
No shit Sherlock. This isn't a "feels thread" This is a thread about someone not sure if they want to anhero. And ppl care about that, either out of some self-righteousness or sick impulse every human has to at least play part in the ending of anothers life.
This tbh make your suit out of the skin of fat chicks
have,most notably downed a botle of xans, a bottle of norco, and some anti depressants and made a joke about it on fb. didn't know anyone had the persons address I was staying ats number. fuck me right?
I can't believe everyone on here is so heartless as to say to just kill yourself. This is why 4chan is the collective scum of the earth. I think you should continue life and look for the best in things. The most damaged people have the most experience.
Damn dude, what's up with your nose, eye's and fingers?
Do what you want OP, but im just gonna put this here
IF you feel compelled to harm others than suicide is justified.
Otherwise you should simply struggle on day by day.
Life is not fun or even often joyful but lessons are to be learned by all.
Don't give up Op there are those who will miss you.
That's good. Mental illness doesn't just go away. If - and that's a big if - you managed to get your life back into track you'll be in this exact same spot in two, three years tops.
Can you handle that? Hanger up motherfucker.
Why the laughter? We miss you too Anon, but with practice our aim should improve.
honestly, i want to say how i think about life... whats the first thing you see bright white light.. what's the last thing same fucking thing.. so em yeah you just end up with a new shitty life anyway
>Mental illness doesn't just go away. If - and that's a big if - you managed to get your life back into track you'll be in this exact same spot in two, three years tops.
You have no clue what you're talking about. I know cases of type 2 bipolar that live a good life after years (decades even) of hell. The solution is always linked to a change of scenario+mentality+finding the right dosage to the right drug.
Just shut your ignorant mouth.
No the psychedelics are to change your perspective, not kill you and not even to have a good time. See what you have of life after lsd. I've heard you'll be thinking quite differently.
Yeah life is beautiful and all the shit you want in your plate son but the truth is that this guy has mental issues that won't go away and he'll sabotage anything he builds if he goes on.
So I don't really know why are some of you advising him to go on. There's really no case here. He will be happier if he kills himself and the world will be a better place without him. It's a fucking win win situation you bunch of buffoons
Oh right what do I know. I just work in a psychiatric ward.
Your type 2 recovering is a mother fucking exception in a sea of perpetually depressed people hurting themselves every waking moment. Nobody gets a life after the ward.+
So shut your ignorant mouth.
>one thing ever made me lastingly happy
At least you know you have the ability to feel happiness. It can be felt again: your brain has the capacity to do so.
>Tired of shifting through hoes
I feel you. Women today are mostly worthless. However there's a good 10% who are decent. Been there
My autistic friend and the one idiot who fucked his life up so badly against everyones advice he's probably on the verge himself? Maybe my mother, butt hat's a big maybe. The girl who left probably in some small way still cares and maybe even loves me and i'm sure would feel horrible but would move on. I'd give it a month before I'm forgotten almost entirely.
Here's how it stops, stop dwelling on things you cannot change. The past is gone fuckface. Live in the moment, exercise, get out of your head. Ride the rollercoaster of life until the end. No matter what you do, it will never get better until you let go and move on. We like to hold on to our past to shape ourselves. We do not like to find ourselves outside of our past experiences.
This is coming from a drug addict who fucked his life up and recovered. I know how to dwell in the past and blame everything wrong with me on others. Until I realized that right now is all I have and the past does not define who I am, I was miserable. Move on. You don't look that bad. Sure you have a shitty personality disorder that has caused trouble, I do to. Although it is pretty static compared to mood swings. I am giving you advice because I can. I know how to live better today
>Btw, I am in intensive therapy (outpatient psych) It isn't getting better. I just want this to stop. What do /b/ros?
>I got a job /b/ro and need the money if I aint gonna kill myself. inpatient won't do.
There's nothing wrong with you psychologically, probably at least.
Drop the disgusting, money-grubbing therapists and find something that you love. Even aspiring to find something that you love with give your life perspective and meaning.
Think about the moments in life that made you happy, and if there isn't any than just off yourself. Otherwise, try and find that same happiness again by filling in the gap in your life that makes you want to commit suicide.
tl;dr OP should stop being a faggot and lose the therapy and find his passion
Oh right what do I know. I just work as a licensed psychotherapist dealing with these problems daily.
The case I mentioned is not an exception. I experience the joy of recovery every so often. You work at a ward-- those places are for the most severe cases, your opinion is biased. Your task is paliative, not curative. The majority of bipolars and other mental diseased never wind up in a psychiatric ward, which is the case of OP. The only exception to this is schizophrenia, and this too can be handled in some cases.
I pray you are not inducing your patients into suicide like you are with OP you shit professional. Shame on you, go flip burgers!
Idk. I'm actually getting a lot of kindness. I was kinda hoping you guys would push me over the edge, but only a few faggots a re trying, and they're not even doing a good job with the insults. They're more amusing than hurtful.
Your life sounds an awful lot like mine i mean a scary amount exempt i am thirty and still not met my father and don't even plan on trying..do what i did stop being a pussy just wake up tomorrow and never think our mention them this again. Pull up your panties OP brush that shit off and move on.. stop hiding behind or even saying BPD PTSD or whatever. Move on bro
Oh right what do I know. I'm just Sigmund motherfucking Freud.
I experience my release mainly from coke. You work as a psychotherapist -- I sincerely hope you're not inducing your patients to not fuck their mothers. Shame on you, go shepard goats!
Walk away. You don't need to do it, bt bear with me here. If you really need the therapy, try to stay with it. For everything else that hurts you, maybe even the entire history of your life, walk away. You past doesn't define who you are, or who you want to be. Leave your old life behind, move away, take an entirely different path. I can't say with absolute certainty you'll manage, or things will change, but it's worth trying your best shot.
Do what you will, I suppose, best of regards, - R
Never do this!
Sorry for the shit you went through holmes.
I have accomplished not feeling sucidal anymore, and am on track to get a decent job, and had a decent childhood.
But I still cut myself to feel something other than overwhelming depression sometimes.
Oh so you just wanted a pat in the back you glorious twat. Go on then, get on with your life! You can always cry online when you're rejected and it's unbearable again like the little attention whore that you are.
Suicide is never the answer man, get some help. People like to be downers, especially here but life really is beautiful. There are so many things you can do and experience, fuck the past dont let it dictate who you are or what you do. I love you man, take care of yourself.
Damn dude, I like you. you don't address me, just refer to me. don't directly tell me to kill myself just mention that I shouldn't waste my effort going on bc I'll just keep fucking myself, which after I got away form the cancerous ppl in my life, this is true. You're alright anon. You're not a fuckin idiot you know how to fuck with stupid ppl but I'm decently intelligent. got anything else though?
There are lots of great movies coming out next year. Why would you miss these?
>Blade Runner 2
>Ghost In The Shell
>Tom Cruise's The Mummy
>Kong: Skull Island
>Star Wars Episode 8
>The Wolverine 3
>Amityville: The Awakening
>John Wick 2
>King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
>Kingsman: The Golden Circle
OP, I dress up in girls clothes and wear make up and get fucked by like 5 guys every single day and I still find reason to live.
It's your decision, but if you kill yourself that means life won. It means your shitty family, your terrible situation, and everything else that was stacked against you succeeded. I don't know about you but I would never let the things that have wronged me win, especially in a permanent sense.
Thanks man. The past is the past, just that it reared it's head up and a million and one bullshit things happening now is fuckin with me. I try to not dwell on shit it just gets hard to distract myself.
Freud was a psychoanalist. Psychoanalysis is a meme therapy and I don't apply it in my professional activity. You should know it is widely regarded as outdated nowadays and that other therapies such as cbt are science-based and reportedly effective.
Stop being the typical brave ignorant. There is OP's life at stake here
psychedelics. dark web it, you have nothing to lose.
MDMA is great for PTSD.
Ketamine is great for depression
LSD is great for self actualization
Shrooms/psilocybin are great for safety and security with your environment.
You'd be a complete fool, not to try these chemicals before making any rash decisions.
Go to 420chan and get off this horrid board..
If it has reared it's useless head up then chop it off dude. Meaning that if you are not threatened physically, or not being intruded on personally what the fuck is there to worry about? If you are able to post here everything fucking with you can be ignored. Focus on a goal. Focus on how you can improve yourself. If anything, sit with your thoughts and realize that thoughts do not define you. Your thoughts are part of the process that is consciousness but they are not YOU.
Funny enough, I caused her to relapse on heroine before killing herself. I'm sadistic af when I have a reason.
"I know I'm pathetic, but please remind me cause I need to be reminded."
pathetic or not pathetic is beyond the point, you're suffering and you're hating yourself for where your suffering has brought you.
you didn't choose the things that happened, but you can choose where to go forward? find other therapists, make sure you balance your therapy work with the meds I'm sure you're taking rather than depending on the meds. maybe even file for disability or something if you can, so you can focus on putting yourself together (but DON'T USE IT as an excuse to never leave your house).
honestly I have no good advice to give. i'm a total wreck and i haven't experienced a fraction of what you have. but I know that other people suffer through the worst and still make it somehow. so there's got to be something you can find somewhere.
and as long as you use them responsibly, i've read about therapy using lsd or mdma that actually can be helpful in how it helps you open up and reflect without the habitual barriers your mind otherwise sets up. so there's an idea.
it's totally understandable that love would be the final straw, though.
good luck my friend :( my love goes to you..
son of a bitch this fuckin made me feel better... You have uhhh,... determined my fart anon. good job. OP is a fag, no suicide. abandon thread. /b/ has mellowed out so much though. fuckin when I was a newfag, I'd of been pushed just enough to do it after like 5 posts.
The bottom line is that it doesn't matter, and nothing anyone here can say is going to change that. There is no reason not to kill yourself, but there also isn't any reason to do it. It's not a bad thing or a good thing. It's totally up to you.
Since reason wont save you you just have to make a choice based on your less rational side or just don't do anything at all. I've decided that living will probably be more interesting. I could see how other might disagree. Good luck.
you're not a bad looking dude. it's never too late to change your life and start succeeding, mate. Talk to someone close to you and get help. Any one. Go to a damn hospital or a church or somewhere you know they will help you if it comes to that. Taking your life is the last thing you should do.
yeah the world is harsh and doesn't give a fuck about OP
hey OP either fuck some other girls to get over the fat cunt who you seem to be obsessed with, or buy a shotgun, buckshot ammo, and blow your fucking head off already
Uhhh, yeah. I was on the fence. Obviously /b/ isn't harsh enough anymore to wanna push people into suicide, or at least the ones who want to aren't smart enough to use their words correctly.
You were never going to kill yourself. /b/ is indifferent to your existence, nobody who is truly suicidal would leave their life up to /b/. Let's be honest, you were looking for attention here, mate.
Someone post for OP the helium info graphic.
Before you go. Meet a hooker. Marry her. Take out a million dollar life insurance policy. Make your death look like an accident and save someone whose life is worse than yours but isnt fucking QQing like a little bitch. Even if she is a little bitch.
Dox this faggot and turn him in so he gets sent to the funny farm to get drugged and raped by orderlies. Since he wants attention so bad.
Soooo, OP: this is it. You've finally come to the crossroads: you're gonna try and kill yourself. Everything hurts. Shit sucks. It doesn't seem like it's going to get better. Fuck knows it hasn't gotten to where you want it to be, at any rate. Wouldn't it be better to just end this fucking joke?
I get it. Been there myself. Almost succeeded, too.
Here's a little thing about death, though--and most people who've had near-death experiences don't tell you this, maybe cause they don't remember--dying is painful. More painful than anything else you've ever felt. Now, when I tried to take the easy way out, I went pussy mode: loads of pills to put me to sleep and gradually shut my body down. When I was getting close, I was relaxed. Everything was amazing. I thought that this was going to be it: I'd end it all and rest.
Then something started gnawing at me. Tingling. Itching. Burning. Shaking. I can't tell you where I felt it, because I felt it somewhere that I've never felt anything before. But I felt it here. And it was getting worse. I tried to ignore it, thinking it would only be temporary. But it just kept getting worse.
That's when I realized: death isn't an "end" to everything. Just an end to what you have right now. All the good things. Lots of the bad things, too, but something remains. You die, you'll probably feel that horrible feeling I felt. Likely forever. I think that's what death feels like: that pain, or that lack of substance. We, as human beings, are simply electrical impulses within a fleshy computer body. When the body dies, our electrical impulse--the thing that is really us--will decay with it. We will fall apart, and bits of us will be everywhere, scattered and reused in other things. The "you" that exists right now will no longer exist, but parts of that "you" will feel the fragmentation and pain or disharmony or whatever forever. Because that's all "you" will be by then.
So, let me tell you what I did when I felt these things happening and realized how much shittier death was gonna be: I did a complete 180 and began clawing at my life back as desperately as I could so that I could at least enjoy the simple pleasures. And try to make things better where I could. Because believe it or not: not only CAN things get worse, but they WILL when you die. You've got plenty of years left to at least jerk off or drug yourself up. Maybe even try to work through some of your issues and become more at peace with your surroundings. But don't kill yourself. That shit SUCKS. And unlike living, you CAN'T undo that. At least, I sure as fuck wouldn't even begin to know how. And if I had to spend a week existing in that state, I'd go batshit insane. Let alone however many years--or what would feel like years--to get reborn or reused into some other fleshy computer body.
Just this anon's two cents.
eehhh, shit turns around bro. If you really wanna kill yourself go rob a gas station or something and try to get away with it, if you do cool if not rip.
But I wouldn't do it, shit gets better man. Just push through the bad times and eventually you will find your way.
seen it. Heard it makes you gag so bad a lot of people actually pull off the mask. Even if the hanger didn't kill me it would make me a vegetable. Being brain dead is essencially the same as being dead in my book.
But a suicidal man does not need any insults to kill himself. He just does it. What does that make you, OP? An attention seeking faggot is what.
(Also, feeling good this Friday afternoon, I ran into Juliet and said we'd get together soon.)
Yeah, tbh I miss the old /b/ when it was the good kind of cancerous. like before the whole brony bullshit. really went downhil after that, slowly became more acceoting and i lost interest for a long time. I come back to this... Don't kil yourself OP, I was kinda lookin forward to death, just wanted that last oomf.
Well thanks for the help anons. +1 for the white knights.
You're doing better than many .
Focus on what you can control about your life. When I've been depressed it's because things happened outside my control. When I refocus on what I can control, I end up feeling better.
then do it jesus stop lookin for validation u needy faggot
Ok that actually got to me. I now feel completely broken and worthless and know I am truly alone in this world. bravo.