I'm stuck in a poly relationship, 3 people involved. I'm basically a third wheel, then when they have drama between each other they come crying to me. They don't seem to care how I feel and I can't deal with the stress they put on me, and I can't handle it anymore. I want to be free, but... I can't face the dark without them, I haven't been single in years. I don't want to be alone.
I haven't had sex for 9 months and I'm about ready to rape a brick wall. Been single after a shitty breakup and I'm about ready to get back out there.
Also in desperate need of finding a way to make under the table cash so I don't feel so caged in life. I have a couple more years of intense studying (in my late 20s) and I can't afford shit all but food and gym.
>>702414571 That's tough... I wish I knew other ways of doing it, but just go, say goodbye to them if they stress you out this much. Polygamous relationships never work out that much anyways, you're basically agreeing to locking yourself in a prison in my eyes.
>>702414571 What I've learned the hard way in life is that the pain of being alone is much easier to manage than the pain of being cheated on or ending up with someone who doesn't give a shit about me.
It's far better being alone than being with someone who doesn't consider your feelings or respect you enough to even try to consider them. Fuck them, man. Just leave them both. If you don't leave them, you're just going to dig yourself deeper and deeper and in the long run, that's going to do some serious damage. There has to be a point where you have to say fuck them all and move on. You have to work on yourself before trying to deal with others. Some people are just shit, and they're not good for relationships. It isn't worth the pain.
>>702415060 There's a lot of people facing things like this, acknowledge that this isn't a healthy way of thinking after fear of being alone, open up and put effort into meeting new people, whether it's over the internet or not. Just remember that having a lot of people you barely know isn't the answer, find true people who really care about you.
I saw a thread consisting of a kid getting set on fire.. The image of his skin melting off as he helplessly squirms about in torment remains in my head this day.. Sometimes i wonder why we are so cruel.. am i missing something?
>>702414019 So I may or may not have a thing with this guy from my school.
And last night I was at a party and I met this other guy who's in the same club (politician party) as me. He was sitting on the grass and I bended over to hug him. He then said something and I couldn't hear him so I turned my face to him, and it was kinda to close so he kissed me.
I kinda feel bad because I like this guy at my school, but I don't know :/
>>702414928 Not to sound like a dick, but I think you should just say "fuck it" and get back out there, make yourself known and heard, you never know who you'll find. Also remember that education WILL pay off in the end, just make it through with the best effort possible and you'll thank yourself in the future.
>>702416130 Just stop thinking about the possibilities of what COULD happen, what MIGHT happen, overthinking it and going down this long route of thinking and looping it, over and over and over again. Simply notice you're going too far, and just ignore it. Stay in the moment, deal with situations as they are in the present.
>>702416130 I know this is such a dad thing to say, but just be yourself. That is really the best advice I could give you. Play it cool and just relax. Don't take everything seriously. Don't take people seriously. Just play it cool and be yourself. Trust me, everything is going to be okay. And don't let anyone give you shit for anything. Be nice, but don't be a push over. If someone pushes you, sock them in the goddamn mouth.
>>702416130 go out and meet people at clubs/bars/events. If you go to places where you do things you like and meet other people, it's likely you will like them as well. Go out and talk to people, and you will find friends eventually
>>702414019 just found out I may not be able to go to college because no cash, parents have money but say they won't pay.
If I were to save up for it myself I'd be working years for that so might as well get a regular job anyway and just live like that. I don't really want to do that tho, just thinking about doing the same shit forever makes me think "what's the point? might as well end it now instead of re-living the same shitty life everyday for years to come"
I lived through bullshit all my life thinking it might get better, maybe I'll go to college and get a job I might like, but no, I get nothing and shit on top of it. I never thought about suicide seriously until now, before it was a comforting thought that it's always an option but I'll never go through with it anyway, but now, when I imagine life being the same for the next what? 30-40 years? I feel like I ran out of options to make life good and I've to settle for the last option on the list and I just can't get over it, fuck, why is life so shit
>>702416781 Student loans, it's something we all kind of have to deal with, just know that you can't risk fucking it up because of what you'll owe in the future, you may be spending many years working to pay off the loans, but you'll get your education and hopefully a good job to support living, rent and paying off these loans.
>>702416908 Anytime, man. Relationships are painful and difficult. But they don't have to be. Remember, if you're with someone who is meant for you, there won't be any pain or trouble. Some people just aren't meant to be.
>>702414571 Anon, I was in the same spot a year ago, with the slight difference that the chick I was with had a kid, so not only was I not given a fuck about, but they also tried to leave the kid with me as much as possible. Needless to say, I told them to fuck off. Had pretty low self-esteem up until then, but even that was too much for me. Shit has only gotten better for me since then.
You too deserve better. Tell them to fuck off and go into the unknown, there might be someone worth waiting for you there.
>>702417162 I applied for what I could but it says the course I took is self funded and that no grant will cover it. Could've chosen a different course but all the other ones were shit and not full time like that one.
The website of the college didn't even mention that the course was self funded, up until now I thought only private colleges require you to pay yourself but this one wasn't and until I accepted my offer, they didn't send you anything, I just got a brochure recently that's like 20 pages long and in the middle of it, in a small box it said I've to pretty much cover all fees myself.
Why is everything so tricky these days? can't they just lay down all you need to know from the start? why am I finding out that this sort of shit is a thing, just now? Something like this could've been thought in school in 10 minutes, but of course, who needs to know that right? everyone is expected to have money and if you don't then you're fucked. Parents also clueless as to what I can do, or maybe just don't give a shit, it's always "go do it yourself, I'm busy" or "I haven't got a fucking clue"
If I had to get a regular job I guess I'd do it, but I live in a shitty little village where recently about 5 stores went out of business. Most people that live here, work hours away since there's not many jobs around, i don't even own a car. I'm fucked, i'll live through it obviously but i've been saying that for the last couple of years, it's really stressful being on edge all the time, figuring out what your next step might be, what am I gonna do tomorrow.
>>702418287 Thanks... I've just gone for so long knowing that I have someone, then they brought in the other person, and I continued to be happy, then the relationship slowly turned to shit over months, they care for eachother, I am just holding on to hands that hold me down. I just need to... move on and learn how to deal with the world without them, or more specifically the original...
>>702418660 what exactly is a community college? european fag here btw.
We have something like a post graduation, pre college type of thing here. There are courses you can do for a year, and it helps you get to college. I already did that once since I didn't get to a college I wanted to go to (although I did very well in school and got decent results) and now after the course I applied again, and got in but the money is the problem.
I don't wanna keep dodging college or work, I wanna get something going for long term and just know that this year is secured for me or something like that, so I don't have to go to bed everyday, stressing out and thinking "what am I gonna do tomorrow?" type of thing
The only reason I have forced myself to endure the past 2 and a half years of my life was because I promised myself I would be there for my new born niece and see to it that she is raised properly. My only hope was for her to by my sole pride and joy in my life. I accepted the fact that I would never actually find someone to love.
Well, now my brother and his girlfriend are separating. I guess I always knew it was inevitable anyway seeing how stupid they were to have a child so young and quickly. But now I'm just realizing how little I am going to see my little angel now and how unlikely I am to play an active role in her life.
I know it probably seems like I could have it a lot worse but I'm literally crying right now as I type this thinking about how awfully that poor girl is going to be raised by her stupid fucking mother.
Every suicidal thought I've had over the last 2 years was countered by the thought of how much my goddaughter would need me growing up knowing how terribly her parents would raise her. Now I've gone from having very little say to basically none at all as her mother completely takes over. And again it seems like I have nothing to live for.
I am from America, I live in Cambodia because my options are limited. I am a white male with a college education. This has only benefited me in Asia. Never in America. I graduated from college. Unemployed for 3 years. I taught English in Korea and Thailand. Online people say I must be a loser for teaching here. Maybe there right.
>>702418938 If I managed to do it, do can you, anon. Life's to short to be with shitheads you know don't give a fuck about you. Pack and leave, walk to new horizons and see what the road holds for you. But no one deserves to be in such a joke of a relationship as I have and you have.
This is now a bit more off-topic, but still think it's worh telling. I travelled many countries looking for something to fill my inner emptiness, thought a couple of women would do it, and didn't work out. I then moved back to my hometown, a bit depressed because I had failed at everything abroad for the last 3 years, and right then, a few weeks after I moved back, I met this odd chick at abench in my street. She's amazing and I'm so happy I finally found someone like that, and smile at the absurd of life, having travelled all over and been through "relationships" that were a bad joke, only to find someone so amazing literally at my doorstep. So go ahead, anon, get out of that cancerous relationship and see what comes down your alley.
doing college atm, going to uni next summer 2017. Lost most will live, for real havnt got any idea why i just do not care about anything. Im just tired of being bored, kinda want it all to end but at the same time im terrified of death.
>>702422815 If you live near woodland, go for daily, hours-long walks innawoods. Sounds retarded, but I once felt that same way and that was the only thing that brought back a smile to my face and kept me going. Trees, animals and stones can be better friends than people.
/b/ has always let me find some solace in living. Even if it's just to see the next get, or look at dank shit. The only thing I can say is that if you've been unbearably miserable for more than 10 years now, I guess it's fine to become an hero. If not, give it some time.
And before you do it, give it a little thought. Fuck a whore, go get drunk, go get high, and then decide. Just know that even how different we might be, were still all /b/ros, and we can help each other. This is the least I could do for someone who seems to feel what I've been feeling.
Im about to be sent to BTC i hate being around my family abd am planning to never come back to my home state again, then i think about having to restart and make all new friends for like the 12th time in my life and it seems tiring, thinking to an hero
>>702414019 >parents see me as alcoholic and drug addict >they treat my brothers better than me, don't know why its different for me >nothing happening for me in the future >only option left is to keep living somehow >no money >no job >no way of getting a job >stuck in a shitty routine >no friends >socially awkward after being left alone for a long time >all I ever had I had to leave because of my parents >nothing going on in my life, highlight of my day: smoking weed and listening to music
>>702423083 I suppose, but I don't really have the interesting in telling it. But it centers around the person I loved but lost, a German I wish was on-line more often, and the general fact that my life is in shambles.
Unfortunately, I don't' know enough about International Economics to give you any advice. But you don't have much time left at school so I say, 'go ahead and finish.' You can join NOAA as a commissioned officer, the post office in a managerial position, or any number of law enforcement positions (probably).
>>702415873 I come onto /b/ and look for friends. I can't make them IRL and I've found a few here. It's what keeps me coming back.
>>702424271 hey man, I was you some months ago. I dont know how to say that so you will belive me, but it will get better. I know you think "yeah, sure, fuck off faggot". but I was you and it changed everything within a month. I now got a girldfriend 3 weeks ago because of weed, I still dont get to talk to people, i havent a job, but its a start. You dont know what will happen in the future, its all about watint for the right moment.
- you dont get what you want, but what you need. you should always see life as a lesson, regarthless how hard it seems.
im too drunk to write a reight sentence, forgive me pls.
>>702424577 acid would be hard to sell in these parts, shitty town/not a lot of people that do acid. I used to sell weed tho, but it got dodgy once so I stopped. It involved an ex coke dealer getting back to smoking, a lot of knives, pressure for me to sell to him at outrageous hours, drunk driving me to his place, lots of knives and a dodgy walk back home for 40 minutes past cop cars alone with weed on me since i didn't know how much he'll be buying
>>702425082 I know things get better at some stage, that's why I'm still here, but I just don't like living years of stress and dissapointment just to have a day of happiness every now and then. I used to see opportunities, like "this is where I'll be if i do this and that" but now its just "I wanna be there, but how do I get there?" and once I find a way it all goes to shit right after, so you get up and do it again just to fail again.
I honestly don't see the point of continuing this forever
The love of my life lives in another country. Right now, she is visiting but will be leaving in a few weeks. She has been here for months, and every night she cries, begging to stay longer. Legally, she can't. And financially, she can't.
And I have to tell her what she already knows every night. I don't like it anymore than she does. I want to spend a life time with her. But it will just have to wait a few more years. I don't know when she'll be ready to commit to moving here (she refuses to have me move their because she hates the idea of taking me away from my family.)
My girlfriend used to talk about our future a lot, I thought great she' serious. Invest myself in the relationship, then two weeks later she says "Im scared of our future together" then breaks up with me over text. Great.
>>702426250 after that experience I don't really feel like it's a good idea. Besides, it's a small shitty town, you only sell to people you know, and one of my friends is already selling to pretty much all our mutual friends. Most of my old dealers stopped selling because of that, some get shit on deep web and sell it for super low prices, you can't compete with that, so they just "went out of business'.
My dog went cripple in a matter of 3 days, cant even stand up anymore. Her voice went shrill 2 days prior of that. The vet is clueless about whats wrong with her. Wat do b, this doggo has been around with me for 14 years. >pic very related, this was about a month ago
>>702426743 Have a fap, wait 30 minutes and objectively ask yourself : Do I like this girl because of her personality and do we have things in common that'd outlast the honeymoon phase and will I be able to sustain the relationship for a longer period of time? If the answer is yes, go ahead. This happened to a friend of mine, he liked a girl friend of mine, didn't end up well, but it was mainly because both of them were thirsty af and when the initial puppy love went away they found out they had nothing in common and broke up. Good luck to you, anon.
>>702427598 If it's that bad, it probably is the age.. I think you should let him/her rest. He/she deserves it for being a good dog. Also, I feel you bro. My family's dog died when I was around 8-ish and I'm still not completely over it.
>>702427798 >>702428059 I call bs. Anyone can be her/him under the right circumstances. Also, if you keep telling yourself all of the bullshit, yeah, it's probably gonna happen
Girlfriend is depressive/post traumatic embitterment disorder. She can be most lovely, enriching and great to talk to. But for over a year by now, it's just exhausting. She's seeing a therapist but progress is slow. Fighting almost everyday about little bullshit things. I miss my single life. I haven't had a girlfriend for 9 years before her, and I fucking enjoyed every single minute of it. I was content, calm, loved my friends a family, had a decent hookup or affair from time to time.. Now I just feel stuck in this. But I really care for her on the other side. She's a wonderful human being who's been treated like shit all life long. I know it's not her fault that she is how she is, and she tries to do better. But it's hard for me to cope with it. Almost three years relationship by now, and I don't see any real change in the ways, for example, she interprets what I'm saying. I'm the one who looks for solutions for problems, and I've always been told that it's much appreciated. She'll always tell me how insensitive I am, whereas.. Fuck, I put my energy in thinking about solutions for other people's problems, that's how I fucking show my love for them! Gosh, I'm pretty drunk because we had several good points along the lines of "hey, let's do this and that, things will get better!" and right now there's a big whole of "nothing has gotten better and the bad moments outweigh the good ones." Emotionally, breaking up may be the best for both of us. But since she has got no family and almost no friends to support her, and she's not able to support herself financially, that'd be a killer for her. And, as I said, I do care about her a lot. I don't want her to be miserable, not even more than she is already. But in case of a breakup, she'd be. So well. At least there's good beer in Germany. Cheers.
>>702414019 I met someone about a month ago, and I have feelings for him, and I don't know how to deal with it.
He was in an abusive relationship for like 10 years, and I've just left one (though he had it way worse than me), so I'm not too sure what to do with him emotionally.
He doesn't really complain about what he's been through, he doesn't cry to me about it, he doesn't have that beaten puppy look, etc. It's just that he doesn't really know how it is to have someone around that wants to support him and be close to him.
I'm not going to do anything like try to talk him into a commitment/relationship or anything, I don't want to commit to anything and I want him to have time to enjoy himself now that he's out of that situation he dealt with for so long. I just don't think I've ever met someone who doesn't know how it is to be cared for.
I have no idea what I'm going to do other than just try my best to be awesome to him. I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up somehow and hurt him.
>be me >15 year old 6/10 female >recently broke up with beta bf >decide to date a good friend bc neither of us had anything to loose >all of our hangout time was spent at his bi-curious best friends house >didn't have a problem with it bc I was cool with the guy >one day they both went into his room where the proceeded to try on each other's pants >doesn't want to walk in >next day bf doesn't talk to me at all >day after he broke up with me >feelsbadman.jpeg
>>702428795 It's not the fap itself,you know. It just clears your mind and lets yout think rationally for a change.
>>702428808 Yeah man.. no need to make it go longer though. It'll be better for both of you. She/he won't have to suffer and you won't have to remember her/him suffering But. I'm hoping things will get better for the doggo. Wish luck to both of you.
>>702429245 >le 15 old cool memer nice b8 talk to him, maybe he's just ashamed and doesn't to talk to you and admit that he might be bi or something. Worst case scenario, he's gay.
I have ADD and schizoaffective disorder (kind of shorthand for bipolar + schizophrenia). I also have two children. A significant part of my time secretly goes to studying symptoms, progression, any new finds, basic psychology as well as more detailed stuff.
I'm scared to death that I'm going to be overtaken by my schizoaffective disorder too fast to get the information my children might so greatly need if they ever develop these disorders.
>>702429282 I have psychogenic non-epileptic seizures which is caused by a conversion disorder which came from stress and trauma as a child because my mother abused me, but I am on meds so I have one like... maybe once or twice a month
>>702429097 I known that. I'm sure he'll always doubt that you honestly like him just the way he is. But don't let that pull you down. Remain awesome, remain yourself, just act like yourself. Either his doubts will vanish or you can't help it anyway. And I think your situation is good for this! I'm sure he'll feel not much pressure, and you don't have any pressure to commit to anything. Enjoy your time with a person you enjoy being with, and I'm sure he'll just enjoy it as well!
>>702429282 My life is falling apart. I have no job, no place of my own (i'm almost don't cleaning up my mess at my dad's so I don't have to come back; better to be homeless at 31 than still living at home).
The fact that my ex recently left me makes me feel alone & terrified; which makes everything worse.
>>702414019 I'm so close to relapsing.. I was excited for my senior year, but it's been shit so far. It's only been a week in, and I have so much bullshit to tolerate with my mom at home. School isn't the problem. School and work is my getaway but that means I can't control my mom when she's at home. :/
>>702429603 Thanks, anon. I appreciate your encouragement. I have kind of gotten the feeling that he worries I might not fully accept him (e.g. he apologized for venting to me about his ex the other day), but he's pretty warm to me, and he has been very honest.
>>702431575 Yeah. He told me he was sorry for bugging me with his problems and I shouldn't have to deal with his past, and I told him he wasn't bugging me at all and I had no problem helping him deal with it.
I wont go into much detail but overtime my mental state has gotten worse to the point where im switching from 'questioning reality and feeling disconnected from everything' to 'everything is completly fine and I am happy with everything' in a matter of days
Me and my oldest brother, were best friends, close and siblings can be, we did everything together, he protected me from my mom and her rage drunk boyfriends. My oldest brother and my mom had a huge fight so big that it went on for four whole months. Finally it stopped, the fighting got so bad that he shunned everything about her, her family, her boyfriends and even me. His best friend. After 7 months of constant messaging, asking why he hates me, why he wont answer me, he finally answered. He said that his blood boils just by thinking about my mom, and everything thing she is, he loaths and because i'm her daughter and look like her, he can't stand the sight of me. It's been 5 years now... I miss my best friend, my brother. Mom is dead, she killed her self finally but he still hasn't talked to me.
>>702432139 holy shit /b/ro, have you been diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder or something similar? you should go see a psychiatrist(if you aren't already) if you are starting to feel detached from reality.
>be me 21 yo virgin.Im not fat.Look normal. >been nolifing for 5 years so my knowledge about girls is approx zero >Decided to leave from that shit >Meanwhile girl from my college splitted up with her bf and was depressed >Was doing everything to make her feel better.Used to message with her days and nights. >accidentally fell in love >Somehow i did get her trust >Middle of july."Hey anon I want to go to camp,but have nobody to go with.Will you come with me?" >omfgthatsmychance.jpg >"yeah sure,why not" >First day of camp she met some fag. >Saw them hugging and whispering >She spent with him most of the time >Last day fag had no place to sleep so she invited him to our tent >He laid down face to face with her,in the middle of us and whispering something to her. >When we were returning by train she was sleeping on his arms in front of me >I saw his boner >One week later." Hey anon,you know what ? Im in relationship" >Can't stop thinking about her >Started drinking a lot since that event.
There was a bird I found earlier today. He was in the middle of the road, and in shock. I observed him and tried to help him for multiple hours. He didn't seem to move much, and when he did, it was more like tumbling. He had a serious injury to one half of his body, and wasn't getting any better. Eventually I came to the realization that I had two choices. I could put him out of his misery, or let nature take it's natural course and have him probably eaten.
I named him Charlie and had him shot in the head clean with an air rifle.
It was extremely displeasing and had me in tears for whatever reason.
sup /b/. >madly in love with a girl >love of my life >she likes my friend >i set them up >they've been dating for almost a year> >happiest she's ever been >happiest he's ever been >shittiest i've ever felt why do I have to hate myself so much that I sabotaged my only chance at happiness just to see my friends happy? why can't I just be happy myself?
>>702433336 Man, let me tell you. Taking medication is hard, but don't go to the psychiatrist with a vision of taking medication. Go there with vision of getting better and moving on. I went to 4 different therapists before admitting to myself that I needed help. The biggest mistake you can make is to go to the therapist/psychiatrist without wanting to get better. Instead of shitposting on /b/ that's full of losers who can't get their own asses off of the PC chair and do something with their miserable lives, go to the pyschiatrist. He/She's not going to force anything on you. They're not going to tie you up in a chair and then force feed you drugs. You're just going to sit there, and they'll tell you what they think could help you. Just try it out, before it's too late. And if you don't believe yourself, there's a whole thread of random people who have literally nothing to hide, talking about their own problems. And if you think that you're lying to yourself about you needing help, that can be solved. But the group of random people have no reason to lie to you. You should seek help, anon. Also, sorry for the long post/grammatical errors. It's pretty late here and english isn't my native language.
>>702434803 Thank you for taking it into consideration, but trust me.(I don't want to push you or anything) The sooner you act, the better. The more time you give it the more reasons not to go you'll find. False reasons. I hope you'll get the help you need anon. Godspeed, I'll be rooting for you.
>>702434949 Don't want to be cruel, but try and get over her. Try to keep some distance if possible and find other people to fill up your personal space.
>>702435139 Probably the 10 people. It all depends how you define short term and long term.
I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago. She told some of my friends 3 days after the break up that she wanted to get back together with me, and well, I wanted too to be honest. I texted her last week and asked her about the whole thing. It felt weird, she was fucking cold and told me "I'm sorry but I can't control when I fall in love with someone" before she blocked me. She is in a relationship with some fuckface she met the same day she talked to my friends about me. I really don't care all that much, it hurts, yeah, but fuck that bitch.
I'm completely empty, I love my family and friends, but I don't have any goals, I don't like any studies or works, I don't have a girlfriend since 3 years ago, I don't think about killing myself, but I feel out of energy.
>>tfw you haven't showered in days >>tfw you haven't gotten out of bed in days >>tfw you have night terrors and wake up with cuts/bruises everytime it happens >>tfw your alcoholic brother used to beat the shit out of you (dad wasn't around, brother took on the duties) >>tfw one of the few times i saw my dad he watched my brother beat the shit out of me (i was being disrespectful because he wasn't around growing up) >>tfw your family told you you were half german, but after some family history digging you find out you're half-jew >>tfw you thought your family was right about what life's about >>be 25. brother is a 350 lbs ham planet. dad+mom are friendless, paranoid, borderline senile old people that are turning into hoarders >>the happiest memory i have in life so far is my 18th birthday. >>>Be me, 18. Working as a sandwich faggot at subway >>>been working with (to this day i still believe) the cutest/prettiest girl i've ever seen....italian, dirty blonde hair. >>>it's my birthday, i work the overnight shift, she's about to get off (it's friday night) >>>asks me if i have plans for the weekend >>>nope, just working. it's my birthday today so i'l prolly get hammered when i get off. >>>"but anon, aren't you working overnight" >>>'haha, yea tru guess i'll get hammered in the AM' >>>"but ur only 18 (she was 22 at the time) how you gonna get alcohol" >>>'ah, yea good point...not sure' (friendless faggot) >>>she gets off work. >>>ffwd it's about 1am, store's pretty dead >>>in the back cleaning shit, hear the doorbell to the entrance go off. hear a voice >>> "close your eyes anon!" it's her >>>do so, open when she tells me to >>>tfw she bought me a bottle of hennessey and sprite for chaser >>>gives me the brightest smile i've ever gotten to this day. hugs me, "happy birthday anon, hope you have a fun weekend!" >>>tfw my happiest memory is getting a bottle of hennessey while working at a subway, 7 years ago. ill never forget you michelle
>friends go out without me after telling me they're all going to stay in >sitting at home by myself on a Saturday night while my mates are getting shitfaced and sending me snaps of how much fun they're having
>>702432191 I experienced something similar. My big brother was my best friend too. Our mum was bi-polar. When I was 12, she pushed him too far and he took off. All he left me with was his favourite necklace.
Fast forward 20yrs, track down my brother through Facebook. He'd spent the last 20yrs in and out of mental homes, tried to kill himself. We met up and he just cried said he couldn't face the memories I brought with me again.
My only advice to you is time does heal, after a few years I adapted to life without him. Still missed him, but I learned to live with that loss after 10yrs and become somewhat functional.
Was hard to see him again, but I was a stronger person. I just wish I could help him.
>>702440239 there's more, i just hit the limit. i have no idea what happiness is anymore. i've been alone emotionally and physically my entire life. the only woman i've had sex with did it because she thought i had money. when she realized i didn't, she bounced. can't blame her. i was pretty pathetic back then
>>702441038 i'm 19 and a halfish and there's something that's changed about me recently within the last few months. I haven't been nearly as depressed as i was the last 8 years but i've also become somewhat apathetic about most things i used to enjoy.
For example, i used to get a tingle in the back of my head when i'd experience lots of emotion at once. Now, even when I watch something super sad, i don't feel anything. it sucks...
wat do guys, I confessed my love to my best friend 2 months ago and she didn't feel the same. We didn't talk like for 2 weeks and she texted me saying she missed me, and i missed her a lot too tbh, so we agreed that everything should be the same as it was before. I still have feelings for her obviously, and it kinda hurts to be around her, but not being able to talk to her was even worse. I'm fucking lost, i don't know how I should deal with this situation, it's awkward as fuck
>>702442149 sounds like you're a couple years from turning into me. i'd give you advice, but i've been living by myself for 3 years now. getup, work, vidya/drink till i fall asleep, rinse repeat. no social life, no nothing. all i have is /b. good luck fellow anon, i really hope you don't turn out like me.
>>702442527 you can't help someone else until you help yourself anon. i'm not saying depression is as easy as just "lol help urself faggot", but on the days where you don't feel like death, do something small or try to talk with her about things that make her happy.
>>702442638 i work 40 hours a week only friends i have try to use me for work and i just missed pax west because of one of said friend. Good luck to you too anon, i'll try to not fuck it up for your sake.
>>702442851 best advice I have for you is to not turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort. it fucked me up bad. ended up in a psych ward etc... stay clean and keep trying. it's 100000x harder to quit a drug than it is to start using it. godspeed
>>702433212 i did exactly that, was best friends with girl next door during school she was really into me, but i was fucked up. molested as a kid made me think i was gay. then left school, she went to uni. and i spent 6 years doing all the drugs i could+ self harm to really fuck me up mixed with anaroexia, i weighed only 8 stone fiends wifes a phycotherapest, gets me on meds, gets me sorted. now 11 years after left school, im a property developer, 6.2 245lbs at 15%bf. fimally time to stop meds.. for 11 years meds and drugs stopped me from dreaming. and now all i think about is being back then with her.
I have a real problem Be me half Charlie Harper and Hank Moody, Cant tell anyone,dating at least and have affairs with no less than 30-50 women/gurls at the same time.one thing takes me to another,Trying hard to quit from this Hurricane. Trying to isolate from the world.What can I do /b/?
>>702442527 maybe you're the same kind of person as me, so this might help: i'm depressed as fuck too, been like this for a few years. But if there's something that makes me happier, that's trying to help people and make them happy. Spend time with her anon, do new things, take her to beautiful places, or just do simple but enjoyable things, like going to the movies together, going for drinks, etc. Just give her your company and have good conversations, maybe that will make you both feel better while you're together at least.
>>702414019 I just don't know what to do with my life. I'm 25 and i feel like it's slipping away, i feel like I have no talent for anything. I feel so old and there are days I wish I was dead, or that I had a gun to shoot myself. Other days I just feel ok and there are some days I feel good and kind of happy but that never lasts. I wish I was dead and I don't even know why i just feel like my own brain is against me. But whatever enough faggotry for today, let's see how much I can keep going like this.
>>702444297 You're actually very similar to me. We have been trying to hangout for several weeks, but our work and life schedules are so messed up right now. It's just about finding time. We were thinking of going to a local festival tomorrow maybe that will help.
My dad is an asshole, but not in the traditional sense. He has equal custody with my mom, and all the time spent with him is generally good. He doesn't beat me or anything extreme like that, he feeds me and does all the dad shit. But whenever things aren't so great, like grades or whatever, he makes me feel like I'm not loved or wanted. Even if it's just me messing up chores he rants about how much of a fuck up I am and how I can't do anything right. He doesn't pay any attention to my accomplishments and just puts me down for whatever he can find. At one point he even said "I love you because you're my son, but you're such an asshole," which might as well be saying he only loves me because he has to. I should be old enough to decide my own custody but I don't know how to tell my parents I want to live with my mom, and I also don't know if my mom will take me seriously
Hey, look, man. You're a star shaped bag of flesh sitting on a little speck of dust spinning around a little burning ember in the darkness of God's broom closet.
Take an old TV out into a feild and hit it with a bat. Climb on a water fountain and refuse to get down.
Do something you think is cool, bro. do it because you enjoy it and you don't have forever. Then you can say "Yeah, I remember that. I did that. No one told me to do that, I just did that, because I wanted to, and because in 100 years no one is going to care or remember my name and I will be dead."
>>702447480 No, I don't feel like a failure. I feel like I've gotten a lot of accomplishment in my musical talent, but he doesn't pay attention to any of that, and he makes me feel like a failure whenever I do anything just a little bit wrong and ignores it whenever I do something right
>>702438811 samefagging here. very intoxicated but can't sleep. would like to vent some more.
>>as stated, my dad wasn't around growing up. >>mom works insane hours to support me and my brother (she was gone in the AM, and we were asleep by the time she got home) >>to this day i don't really know why my brother decided to start beating the shit out of me, maybe it was his way of coping, i really don't know >>sometimes it would be during the day after school, beat him in MK (SNES) days, get smacked, talk back as he's talkin trash, get smacked, etc... >>with mom never being home and my brother being 5 years older, he gets into drinking at a pretty young age (16ish) >>pretty soon the smacking turns into closed fists >>i have a septum so deviated i can't breathe through my left nostril well. my left eye was swollen shut so many times i developed 4th cranial nerve palsy (gotta give it to big bro, he has a mean right hand). >>i've had reconstructive surgery done on my shoulder from the time he woke me up (with fists) and started slamming me into the concrete wall, punching the whole time. >>ffwd to 17. dad comes home. mom's at work, dad takes me and big bro to TGIF to talk >>i'll admit it, i acted like a cunt the whole time. it wasn't anything i said just my overall demeanor; disrespectful >>dinner ends uneventfully, go to the car, sit passenger side waiting for dad and big bro so i can just go home back to my vidya >>my door gets opened >>brother drags me out, smacking/punching me the entire time >>i'm literally getting laid out on the concrete by a 22 yr old 250 lbs+ man. (my eye was swollen shut for about 2 weeks) >>as it's happening i look to my dad >>he's just standing there. arms crossed. look of approval on his face. >>big bro gets tired, "you gonna start showing some respect?" >>'y-y-yea' >>leaking blood from multiple cuts on my face >>they take me to the ER >>dr asks what happened >>'fell off my bike and faceplanted lol, im such a clutz'
Seeing people on /b console others actually cheers me up a little bit. The people here are usually the most damaged. Can anyone tell me why my hands feel really cold, weak heavy when I'm really sad? Never really knew why
I am an English professors assistant so sometimes I get the shit luck of grading papers. One assignment was to write a short story of any genre, gonna share what one student wrote it has its flaws but definitely hit me hard.
>>702446490 It probably seems like I'm begging for attention here but can someone please just give me something for this post? I've been dealing with this for a while and I want some advice or answers or something
I'm planning to end it all in a few days time. Here's my reason and you cannot talk be out of it so please don't even try. I had a small business building with my brother and we were generating a small yet steady income. We had things going well and it looked like shit was going up. Until I found out about gambling. At first it was my own money out of my pocket. I lost so much of my savings but it was fine as it was my own money. When I inevitably ran out of money, I went into the business account. Took all of our savings and then made a business loan of an absurd amount of money knowing full well that I could not pay it back, under the nose of my brother. When he found out, the business fell apart. I have not talked to any of my family in 7 months and I am in a huge amount of debt I cannot repay. I have already had multiple notices that they are going to come and repo all the shit I have left in my one room shack. I cannot get a job as I have no qualifications as I thought I would be set with the business. This will be the last time i use this computer before I die. Thanks/b/ for keeping me up when nothing could.
>>702448952 >I am but a simple black cat who is not that young yet not to old either I am also not alone alongside me I have a younger friend who’s energy astounds me and another much larger creature who provides food water and care to us. >There are three others in this place as well, all of them larger than I, they are not encountered often as a strange moving wall parts our portion From theirs and seems to be mostly un-moving. >I have seen the outer Areas, they frighten me so, I much prefer the safety of our area. >This Open space with many obstacles for my relaxation and many openings for the light of the other World reach us is our home. >Some of the objects in this Place make soft but constant noise similar to a purr our provider seems to enjoy those things as they spend much of their time staring at them. >My companion and I have examined these things and have not quite yet found their interest though the provider sometimes interrupts our investigations. >Sometimes the provider has to leave for very long times and I am left here with my energetic companion, they have never been gone too long and often returns before we sleep. >There is a large soft thing many times the size of my provider even, it is very comfortable and I often relax on it with my companion and the provider. >When we sleep we all sleep close enough to know the other is there but far enough so we do not touch. >Sometimes the provider lay there even when not sleeping sometimes they seem distraught whenever the provider is upset I console them, offering calming words and my affection. >One night was like the rest my provider returned and lay on the object drinking a strange scented bubbly liquid after tending to us, the provider seemed calm that night.
fuck what he thinks then, anon. He might not want to have you over as much as he does, legitimately. I won't beat around the bush with it. But if he is that type of person, what you need to do is ignore him whenever you make a mistake.
I used to have a father like that, and sometimes I would intentionally fuck up on something he knew I could do just to grind his gears.
>>702414019 Alright OP. >be me >7th grade >some girl befriends me, she's kinda chubby, don't know her >after about 6 months, her boyfriend leaves her >she's all sad and shit >she decides to ask me to date her >feelsbadman.jpg >says yes >first few days, she already wants to holds hands and shit with me >after three weeks, breaks up with her >she's super sad, but gets over it >we still talk >the only thing she talks about is her problems >she ends up cutting herself, and then complains about her "demons" >not having it, tells her to suck it up >we continue to talk, kinda just tired of it >8th grade, she wants to date me again >says no >she gets sad again, then dates someone else >talks to me more than him >whatthefuck.png >she breaks up with him because she wants to be with me >still says no >end of 8th grade, she keeps complaining about her "depression" and "suicidal tendencies" >getting tired of it >decides to tell her off and how most of it is bullshit >she goes on saying how it's my fault and she hates me >she also says how saying that is a low blow >whatthefuck2.png >gets a bit mad, tells her not to talk to me again >she still tries to talk to me, but saying her cutting herself and wants to kill herself is all my fault >has no clue where she's going with it >realize she's trying to guilt trip me >gets pissed off, says how she needs to stop it because I don't care anymore >she stops talking to me finally >feels bad a little bit, but not too much >she came back yesterday saying she's gonna kill herself >mfw doesn't reply And here I am today OP. Wat do?
>>702449503 >I woke before my provider as usual and after tending to myself I felt perhaps I could rest more today and did so, in spite of the other frantically chasing their imagination. >I woke Later, the provider was still asleep they usually spent much of the day asleep if they could. >It was strange that night around the provider’s time of waking they still slept, I called out to them to wake up only for my ally to begin assaulting my rear shortly after. >The other three grew silent later my provider must have had a long day as they still slept, they had done this before so I simply joined them. >I woke when light shone on my face, it was bright out I could not feel my provider behind me I suppose they had to leave. >When I went to check my food it was strangely low, my provider often filled it before leaving my water was equally as low so I decided to wait patiently for my provider while my ally clawed at the mobile wall. >It began getting dark and my provider had not returned I saw my companion relaxing very close the bundle of cloth the provider hides under. >The other three had grown quiet and my provider had still not returned I began feeling scared as my provisions were low and I knew not how to obtain them and the air was moist in the other world.
>>702449806 >In the same night many large echoing sounds came from the other world, as I thought it would happen. >I hid under the provider’s cloth to escape these sounds to discover my provider lay there safe and sound I joined them so they may console me from the sounds. >When I woke later I was at the provider’s front just under their long front legs the provider seemed slightly cold I freed myself from the cloth and stepped onto the floor, spilling the providers strange smelling liquid and toppling their noisy container. >Upon spilling this I expected my ally to become elated and chase after the few small round objects, who instead simply examined them and turned their face in disgust, I must agree the objects were foul Smelling. >I decided to console my provider as they tended to get loud towards me or my ally when we knocked things over. >The provider instead lay there, perfectly still as I rub my head against their cold face and apologizing to them.
Thats it student passed the class with a C then didn't show up next semester, which would have been their second semester. the paper itself didn't get me, it was the circumstances and the thoughts associated with it.
so all my friends are always going out. i'm always at home. whenever i go out, i just see the worst of people. the shallow whore girls who only would date a boy if he had any money. my friends are out tonight, but apparently i couldn't come. the friend who's having this at his house, says he could barely fit in a second friend there. later tonight they send a pic on the group chat basically showing everyone having a good time, expect me, at home, on 4chan. i just feel like whatever i do, it always fails. send help OP.
>>702450835 but the thing is, i don't have any other friends there. i take a bus to get to school and one of them takes it. i always hang out with them after school, because my bus leaves at 5:30. they're the best people that i can find tolerable at that school.
>tfw two of your friends are dating and it looks like they'll break up >tfw while you keep telling one of them how to better the situation and trying to do everything you can to help she doesn't do dick about her failing relationship >tfw you're kind of glad that she isn't taking your advice because you are still in love with her girlfriend >tfw if they break up you will probably have to choose between the two of them >tfw you will probably choose the one you love even though she will never feel the same way feels bad man.
recently got into a relationship with a guy i used to date years ago, used to text me that he wished he never fucked up, wished he still had me etc. didn't believe him.basically told him that he was a lying asshole for four years. blocked him on social media for a long time. Anyway came back into my home town for the first time in years for a family reunion and wanted dick until i got back into my state, messaged him, fast forward to now, i love him and he loves me. tells me how awful he feels for hurting me all those years ago, how i was the reason he wanted to kill himself, thinks his life went to shit because he broke up with me etc. now i feel terrible about declining a second chance for almost five years and leaving him to feel like this for that long all because i was butt hurt about a high school relationship that he ended because his horny teen self thought there was something better out there. feels bad cuz he could have killed himself and it would been entirely my fault.
>>702451439 Probably nothing. No joke, probably nothing, it's just a sad truth that people fall out of love, or realize that the began liking someone based on a first impression or for something that wasn't really who you were. And honestly, if you stayed with someone who didn't like you as you, then you would've just been sadder longer down the road because you were in a loveless relationship.
Alright... > be me > Be a freshman in high school > Cool friend: "Hey anon, want to come to my birthday party tonight?" > Me: YES, TOTALLY > Minding my own business, talking to a cute girl by the pool >School bully seizes opportunity to push me in >I keep trying to climb the ladder to get out but I repeatedly get pushed back into the pool by said bully while group of popular girls and jocks laugh until my friend comes out and tells them to leave me alone. >Worst humiliation of my life
I'm a junkie and an alcoholic but just over a month completely clean and sober. I'm 27, just moved back into my parents house and recently found out I am positive for hep c from sharing needles and it's ~$100,000 for the treatment. I'm broke, lonely and miserable. I'd like to hang up but my parents and my niece would be terribly sad and I don't want to do that to them. They are the only reason I am still alive.
If I were in your shoes, I would have found the guy who wrote it and told him to write more like it (to practice with that style more) but I probably would've told him it was his choice about keeping the class.
I also feel in some respect that your professor did the right thing, though. He was taking that class to get better at writing, not to get a degree in it.
>>702414019 I hate my mother. She has single handedly ruined all possible things for my father. She would claim he "abused her, raped her, beat her." But she never left but sure talked alot about it. Now she is married to a felon has she feeds him a spoon of lies giving my father a terrible life trying to ruin what he has left. She has tried to turn me against him, but i see through her bullshit, I hate my mother with a passion.
I watched a inmate at work today have a heart attack and 45 minutes of cpr later I was just compressing a corpse but I had to continue by law, because I started it, until the emt made it through the prison to get to the guy. I've worked with this man every day for the last few years, decent guy as far as inmates in state prison go. Never had a problem with him, I am going to miss hearing him say "Hey CO" every day now.
>>702452660 Yes but as much as I live for my niece I don't even think she likes me. I was incarcerated when she was born and didn't meet her until she was 2 and a half. (She's 3 now) She doesn't even call me uncle, she just calls me by my first name. It makes me feel like shit but I feel like I can't complain because I haven't been much of an uncle. I say shed be sad if I were gone, but I'm not even sure that's true.
uk 3rd year med fag here I'm into this girl I'm on placement with (for the next 2 years) she has given a few 'hints' (holding hands when drunk, borrowing clothes etc) but I'm too scared to make a move incase I'm just overthinking shit and I'll just make the next 2 years awkward as shit.
tl;dr 20y/o medic with depression is overthinking shit
>>702449281 Well Anon your not alone. My dad is the same way. The best way is to move out as soon as possible. Don't let his words get to you and follow your own resolve. It's pointless to try get him to see things from your own perspective.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at [email protected] with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.