What would you wish for?
Your first reply is the catch
>I.e.
>Million dollars
>its Monopoly money
>>702115765
I wish that the holocaust killed more Jews. And then I wasn't one.
>>702116136
>that's two wishes fag
>your one of them Jews
>>702116136
>Like 2 more jews in the ovens.
>Germany lost the war.
I wish for the world to end, every living human being has to die.
>>702116136
>one jew dies
>thats more than 0, since the holocaust is a lie
>>702116419
>you burn eternally in hell
I wish niggers turned into apes
I wish morgan freeman read me bedtime stories each night
>>702117184
>planet of the apes happens
I want sh this is the new interpretation of Jesus Christ
i wish i lived in the universe that crash bandicoot 3 (warped)'s first level "Toad Village", amongst a few others in the game, is set in.
>>702117536
>you're a box
>>702115765
I wish OP was not a faggot.
>>702117816
>you become the faggot
>>702117816
But you've got a huge craving for his cock
>>702117652
kek
I want a portal gun
>>702116419
>every living human being
All dead humans now come back to life.
I wish i could immigrate thousands of mexicans to make me a huge living throne 50 meters high.
>>702117279
He's always fully nude
>>702118054
But you only get the blue one. The orange portal is controlled by a pack of niggers.
>>702118054
The portal gun doesnt want you.
>>702118132
You have to pay them $5000 for every brick they lay
I wanna be the very best.
>>702118132
But you have to treat them like decent human beings
A girl to spend the rest of my life with
>>702118132
But they're all nude and have throbbing erections
>>702118179
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E
>>702118255
>Gary is slightly better
>>702118292
But she dies of cancer withing a year
>>702118292
Xhe has a bigger dick than you
Get the fuck out, Callum Davies. You mega faggot shit posting little waste of carbon. You shouldn't even be on this board you pre-pubescent fuck. I swear to god I wish I could burn your house down you're such a pussy.
>>702118222
Kekd n chekd
I wish i was a director of cnn.
All the power, knowledge and immortality of the Q. I wish to be Q.
>>702118399
But wishes don't come true
I wish to be able to walk through objects at will
>>702118402
Your mom makes fun of you
>>702118393
No. Screw you man
>>702118402
>you become the letter Q
>in fact, the very one in this post
>>702118499
>you get stuck between a wall
>>702118402
The q in >hqdefault
>>702118499
But Will isn't always in front of you
>>702118402
But you will never feel hapiness
>>702118054
>you're twelve and get stuck in an endless portal-loop
I want to have the ability to come back to life
I wish I had a sweet chameleon
>>702115765
I wish Portal gun
I wish i had a beer mug made of beer.
>>702117184
That has already happened #blm
i wish i was black
>>702118616
>it can't change colors
>>702118602
But when you do come back, your 10 percent dumber and 20 percent fatter
>>702118616
He likes to get into your kettle.
>>702118602
>every time you come back to life you're 2 inches shorter
>>702118538
You fucking cunt that is genuinely sadistic, good shout.
>>702115765
I wish to be dead.
I wish I could live without being such a loner beta virgin faggot anymore
>>702118639
>It's poisonous
>>702118634
It only takes you to universes filled with dookie.
>>702118656
But you're actually white
>>702118499
>you never know where exactly 'Will' is
>>702118602
You come back to life as child Sex and torture slave
>>702118656
>your fellow black friends hate you (and other than niggers, nobody likes niggers)
>>702118710
>you have to go outside
>>702118135
That's a plus. Bring it on Morgan
>>702118710
But you can only with being one
>>702118710
>You can't
I wish for dubs
I wish I was gunblade.
>>702118702
You die after a long and brutal three year fight with brain and lung cancer
>>702118702
>We cure you of death
>>702118710
>you live with people who make you look alpha by comparison
>there are no decent human beings left in the world
I wish i had one indestructible condom to use as a parachute for the rest of my life.
>>702118710
>Its impossible, you stop existing
>>702118837
You're literally a knife strapped to a gun
I wish I could read people's minds
>>702118837
>you become bladegun instead
>>702116419
>A billion years from now
I wish I had the ability to make any woman suck my dick
I wish I could wish.
>>702118881
>It tangles around your neck the first time you use it
I would run at the speed of light but i am paralysed from the waist below.
>>702118836
Some other fag gets them.
>>702118716
Perfect, anyone annoying me gets in dookie universe
>>702118881
It's always full of cum. Not yours.
>>702118881
But it comes prefilled with semen
>>702118917
>only grannys age 85+
>>702118710
Get raped by niggers
>>702118914
>but you cant stop it and read every persons mind at the same time
>>702118881
The first whore you fuck has the super aids and you forgot which side was out.
>>702115765
I would wish for all sandniggers to die a slow and painful death asap.
>>702118917
>Afterwards every woman attempts to kill you, much like a preying mantis
I wish I was raped.
>>702119032
That's horrifying
>>702115765
a big dick
>>702118881
>it's an edible one, while still indestructible it attracts birds whenever you use it in the air who peck at your genitals
>>702119055
Everyone else dies too
>>702118917
They all Have bracers
>>702119075
But it was consensual
>>702119123
>its bigger than 20inches
>>702119075
You die by asphyxation
>>702115765
Kill me please
>>702118656
>become MLK seconds before he was shot
>>702118917
>when u nut, she keep suckin
>>702119017
he said any bro
>>702119153
perfect <3 rape scenario is a huge kink of mine
Unrelaltes but are you actually Callum Davies from Rick and Morty shitposting?.
I wish I was happy again
i wish that i could be neenja
I wish to be able to fly
>>702119075
>when you were 13
>>702119201
You get reincarnated forever without memories and are never happy and you'll never know why.
>>702119244
Fucking faggot
>>702119055
They die of lack of oxygen while gasping for air whilst dying while getting no air while dieng
>>702119288
But you can only fly south
>>702119303
thats 100% true
>>702119296
huh
>>702118797
kekd max
>>702119277
You are, but with a constant itch that you can not reach.
>>702119277
You're only happy for an hour of each day
>>702119253
Stole it from some othe shwiftposter
>>702119277
>you are happy always
>even at your parents' funerals
>it becomes unnerving to everyone around you
>you become an outcast with a permanent grin on their faces, content with eating nothing but human refuse and slowly turning into a gigantic bloated parasite
>>702119288
Instant blindness when you get in air.
>>702119277
You finally start taking the pills the doctor gave you.
>>702119357
Fucking loophole just fly around the sun the you can get everywhere
>>702119135
fuck, owned
I wish to be able to persuade anyone anything
>>702118917
You're paralyzed from the waist down
>>702119427
YOU GUCKING MONSTER
>>702118349
kek
>>702118652
This. Also kek
>>702119515
>you have to give them oral sex first
I wish I never had to shit again
>>702115765
I wish for cancer
>>702119433
>accidentally running into someone from schwiftposting on /b/
noice
I wish for a million dollars in Monopoly money.
>>702119483
What? You can't fly in space... You didn't specify that you wanted space flight. So basically you can only fly until you end up at the south pole
I wish for a blackberry cupcake. Not poisonous, not moldy, not stale, not filled with cum, just a regular fucking cupcake. Come on faggots, is it such an impossible wish?
I wish to be the little girl.
>>702119379
I had to reply first. The entire sentence structure is post script. It makes sense if you deconstruct it.
>>702119357
After a while I'd get to where I wanted to go anyway it would just take a lot more time, still that's really fucking annoying
>>702118393
You burn his house down but then youre raped by midgets
>>702119634
But it's actually real monies
>>702119634
Your family pet died
>>702119634
You have no one to play with.
>>702119624
It disappears within the first week of you finding out about it.
>>702119634
>you get a million dollars worth of coupons
>>702119357
so you just end up on the south pole "please help. i can't go any more south."
>>702119610
>You throw up instead of shitting
>>702118292
She is your mom
>>702119634
You're the banker.
>>702119665
But it's actually delicious
>>702119569
it already works like this dude
>>702119665
>>702119665
The cupcake is actually a muffin
>>702115765
no one is ever allowed to shitpost again
>>702119665
>you get a blackberry cupcake
>your testicles are transmuted into the blackberries that make it though
>>702119634
No more toll houses available
I wish to have all the money in my pocket that I need in any particular moment.
>>702119483
He said fly, not be able to exist in space. Nor did he say how fast, even if he had a space suit, it might take him years
I wish I had unlimited power over people's wills
>>702119665
You're incapable of eating
I wish to win t h e g a m e.
>>702119610
You die from disentary, or however you spell it
>>702119692
No, you'd get trapped at the South Pole. You can't go south from the South Pole.
I wish I could teleport anywhere in the world
>>702117652
fucking kek
>>702119782
Oh noooooo, you figured it out.
>>702119801
It's counterfeit and you get detected the first time you try to use it
>>702119801
its always soggy with cum
>>702116136
>one more Jew dies
i guess any improvement is still an improvement
>>702119801
>you are teleported into the ocean and start immediately drowning
>your pocket fills up with enough money to soak up the ocean
>you still suffocate under a gigantic heap of soggy dollar bills and now there's no ocean so earth is pretty fucked up
>>702119788
They do anyways.
>>702119634
You get 1 million nigerian dollars and the ZIKA virus
>>702119878
you dont choose
>>702119868
I actually nearly died from that when I was 13 lmao
>>702119827
Will smith has complete control over you
>>702115765
I wish I was in an anime.
I wish for slightly stronger sense of smell.
>>702119872
Can I then travel back North by car or whatever?
I wish Germany won ww2.
>inb4 Merkel still elected
>>702119801
it's the wrong currency
>>702120050
The anime is boku no pico
>>702116136
>you become a siamese twin Jew, making you two jews instead of one
>you are then killed in the holocaust
I wish I wuz Cloud.
>>702118602
You come back to life as a sea cucumber
>>702120021
You did die. You have to forgive everyone or else you can't move on. Wake up.
>>702120093
merkel still elected
>>702120060
you can only smell shit slightly more strongly
>>702120093
turns out hitler was a jew
>>702120021
But you're actually a time traveller
>>702119684
Don't need to go around explaining jokes you condescending sackashit
>>702120132
Apple iCloud
>>702120064
Ya, you can take a car from the South Pole...
I wish i got an actually good and funny reply.
>>702115765
I want a beutiful and loyal japanese wife
>>702119878
You get teleported to a different universe that exist only out of Josef Fritzl's basement.
>>702120275
>>702120275
Too bad you get this one
Want a qt3.41 gf
i wish for butifel wife and my own private shitting street
>this wouldve worked
>i didnt reach the point where i did
>wasnt paranoid i am shadow banned by world and the sole recipient of the universes new petty revenge socoifetish...
Most
>someone would stopped when i drove into a sound barrier and asked why. Are you okay, looked at me like im not a psycho and given me some kind of positive emotive hold from this 0/10, not quick, not even dangerous in my recent experience that would help me feel okay again, or at least that i really did die but you just dont know and everything you do backfires in a painfully soul crushing, externally most likely hilarious way and people just act like they are all in on it.
Worst way to destroy the one thing you care about still in a mildly annoying way that is ultimately self shaming and not even hurt the sunglasses you wore much less hurt you
>>702120396
she has aids and you fuck her
I wish that no harm would ever befall any friend of mine. PS, serious harm to me would be harm to my friends so checkmate motherfuckers.
>>702116136
>the holocaust happens
>you are jewish and killed
>and then you weren't one.
>>702118925
Your wishes don't come true.
>>702117279
They're the stories M. Night Shamwow made for his kids
>>702120007
>Damn nigger, that's harsh.
I wish for the ZIKA virus given to me by harambe
>>702120283
Her dick's bigger than yours.
I wish I was anon's trap wife
>>702120432
you have to realize that infection rate is ~ 4%
>>702120435
Your whole family is killed by your friends
>>702119788
>>702119788
There are no posts.
>>702120435
Nothing happens to your friends, but your family falls apart
>>702120435
You're all locked in a dimension of literal nothingness. No harm can ever happen to any of you, because nothing can happen at all. You're all conscious and alone for eternity.
I wish WW2 never happened
>>702120435
>none of them like you anymore
>>702120435
You become depressed all your life
>>702120132
but ur a sad cloud
>>702120187
>hitler killed himself so that there would be one less jew in the world
>>702118550
Haha. Have an upvote.
>>702120571
>germany won and wiped it out of history books
>>702120571
it skipped right to WW3
>>702120275
You turn into a sjw and wake up looking at your tumblr page.
>>702120531
She gets fucked 25 times
I want ultra aids. Gimme ultra aids.
>>702120527
He doesn't make any money because he is depressed NEET
he gets paper and cuts it into coins, calling them schmeckels
>>702120435
They fall off a cliff in a group hiking trip.
Wishing for death they contemplate who to eat first. Maybe it's the one who cursed them to survive the fall.
>>702120116
PERFECT.
I wish to be african american
>>702120064
Every trip would be like:
Start at the North Pole
Accurately determine direction that I need to fly in order to precisely reach my destination, because I can only fly south
Consider the rotation of the earth
Consider that the South Pole is not exactly on the axis that the earth rotates
Make sure to factor in speed, wind resistance, etc. so my timing is impeccable
Leave from North Pole
Fuck up and miss target
Take car back to North Pole
Try again
>>702115765
I want kugelblitz drives to be a thing.
>>702120734
you get shot in a gang attack as a teenager
>>702120734
Trump gets elected and is revealed to be the ULTRA GIGA HITLA KKK EDISHUN.
>>702120435
>all of your friends are online
I wish I never had to worry about money
>>702120734
Kenya invades the US.
I wish everyone has a vagina
>>702120536
My family is my friends dumbass, try again. And also, that would harm me, harming my friends. You think killing somebody doesn't fuck you up emotionally? This is just so stupid and uncreative and WRONG.
>>702120878
Communist dystopia
I wish you all a merry christmas.
>>702120904
The vaginas are loose and flabby and all have crabs and yeast
>>702120878
Rastafarian
>>702120904
Everyone gets both a penis and vagine
>>702120886
Thanks Obama!
>>702120878
because you're in poverty and die from hunger
>>702119665
Your are tied up and forced to watch a smug little girl eat your muffin with milk as you starve.
LAST WISHES
>>702120875
That's a low fucking blow. And only one of my friends I know uses 4chan, the rest, probably not.
>>702120959
Somebody's triggered
>>702120483
A kid falls into harambe's enclosure. Harambe gets shot, unable to make sweet love to your anus.
>>702115765
I wish I was a my little pony.
I'm born without social autism
>>702120268
I just meant in general you spaz
>>702120999
you will never enjoy another holiday
although you had trips so you don't deserve a drawback
>>702120734
You become a slave for the rest of your life
I get to be the best player ever in league of legends
>>702121105
you are a small childs plaything her older brother straps fireworks to
>>702121160
you have to play the same kids every game, and they will keep raging, eventually they will find and murder you
>>702119679
>You're lobotomized
I wish to mouthrape everyone who reads this.
>>702121160
you also get severe autism
>>702121160
You will lose your virginity one day
>>702121160
You are a bratty streamer, hated by thousands.
>>702120527
>>702120694
I'm actually okay with this
Ability to poop gold nuggets instead of normal shit
>>702121201
ALLAH HU AKBAR!
>>702115765
the death of Superman!
>>702121241
That comes standard with LoL players
>>702121220
get my gonaherpalaids
>>702121160
You die of cancer, unable to win the pro league championship
>>702121285
You are forced to eat them for the rest of your life and they still taste like shit
>>702121121
I'm being seriously, just call up an Uber.
>>702121285
They tear up your asshole worse than Taco Bell
>>702121285
gold has become worthless
I wish for a small loan of a million dollars.
>>702121285
it hurts, bad, and you have to do it like normal shits or you'll die
>>702115765
A random death so that this can be done with but my family isn't traumatized by suicide/murder.
>>702121372
you become president of the USA
>>702121372
You become shillary clinton
>>702121372
you get mugged by niggers
>>702121372
mexicans hate you
>>702115765
I wish that my life could be narrated by Steve Buschemi.
I chose who dies and who doesn't.
>>702121105
You get bought by a disgusting brony. He fantasize s about you and licks you with his foul dorito tongue
>>702121441
you look like him too
I want to become alpha
>>702121372
It's at a 100 % interest rate, compounded hourly
