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Waifu Claiming Thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Waifu Claiming Thread
Penny Edition!


>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per anon
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!

Penny Claimed.
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I'm just a big teddy bear, no be scare :(
Can you retrofit it with mustard gas too? Make sure I'm good and kill
There was and it is. It's still annoying as hell though. They waited until almost a day after the patch went live though
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I think I'll sleep now

Love you guys, goodnight
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Yuuko claimed!

Penny edition a cute

Eh, she just doesn't have huge tits, super long hair, and generic cat ears like all of the other shit waifus.
>implying the short brown hair isn't adorable

Sounds like a perfect waifu for real life, tbh.
Too bad most girls, or just the few that I've seen, are all entitled Tumblr bitches.
Miho claimed
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Sleep well~.
Also one roll for tomoko
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I don't know what your problem with Tomoko is but you are being a real bitch.
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>best fox

to lewd or not to lewd, life's greatest question
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still here
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I drink because i hate myself
>best REAL fox
Just got bored and was looking for a bit of ebin banter.
Didn't care much for Watamote, but Tomoko is definately not worst girl, not by a longshot.

join the club, boi
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Ah, sounds fun. Too bad about falling asleep kek I had a 12 hour nap recently.
I'm doing alright, college stuff is moving along but way too slowly. Chilling with Shino in the stream right now.

>Not dead inside I hope
Too bad c:
Always dead inside, always.
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We used to post lewd for trips, but recently some seasonal shitters and newer users just lewd post to lewd post.

Flip a coin if you are that much of a slut.
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You're just going to steal it and drink it again... We've been over this...
Not as fun as some people say. Being master of a non-sense universe isn't that nice. Plus i have a bad habit of waking up as soon as i realize i'm dreaming.
tomo doesn't think your popular enough
doesn't realize her own mistakes thts why, maybe?
yuuko is fine
yuuko>mio>the third one thats always with yuuko
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She's an absolute dream, its lovely. She's sweet and kind.
>She wakes up before I do to help around too.
>Plus she's a redhead.
>and she's got green eyes.
>And she's cute as fuck.
I think you'll find I finally claimed her, new thread = waifu wipe.
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well it defiantly isn't worse than that one tomoko lewd
forgot pic
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Just put me down on a bed of knives then. I actually intend to be buried like a viking. Longboat funeral pyre is best funeral
*gives the hug*
Hello Hanako
>implying the two of us give a fuck

I will post Tomoko even if the entire thread claims her.
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I can imagine. I wonder why they did that.. if they wanted to piss the playerbasr it would've been better to do it day-one

Just full your sorrow with alcohol fam :^)

>you could've made your waifu a reality for a few mins
Ah well, I heard it requires training.
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I agree!
Mio is pretty qt, Mai just doesn't have a lot of personality because she's the quiet character, but she's funny so she's not worst girl.

>sleeping in the same bed as a girl
what is that even like
i bet it's nice
Keep posting actually because I want more

It feels so good, having Tomoko all to myself. Her and I are meant to be
>12 hour
Karen, that's not a nap! And right right, you're in the dorms now. How's that treatin ya?

I can't argue with that. Make sure you get someone that can actually shoot the fire arrow and not whiff.
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Jibril claimed~
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You truly are a baka.
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Oh? Trying to get you your very own Shizuru again?
Dunno. I can usually only dream about things i've seen or experienced to some extent. Not sure i -could- make my waifu real. Anime proportions are weird. I think i'd come out off.
This again!? May as well dress for it this time.
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Its like sleeping next to something REALLY warm, its nice and makes you feel happy and not alone.

>Mfw earlier I took a nap because I was tired as shit from long day at work
>Woke up with K sleeping next to me.
It was adorable.
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Living the dream
Is that a heart i see on your cute little butt?
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Don't think so.
Its stuff like that that makes me think about having kids some day, alas i am but a lonely virgin NEET.
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>and makes you feel happy and not alone
I didn't expect these feels.

You have to be the luckiest person alive, that sounds so cute~.

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>Rubs face in cute butt
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Apologies friends, I'll be back later. Kinmoza is too distracting.
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mai is funny i like the chapter where she messes with yuuko and calls yuuko slow
>not alone
i am jelly
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Ah! W-what?!
Lewd! Stop being so lewd Miho!
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Yeah.. I don't know shit about dreams, so I don't know about the can and can't of it ;-;
It'd certainly break the immersion of it, thinking more into it

Bye little Karen
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The meme dream. ^^
Yeah, kids are great.
>I'm adopting K officially on Wednesday next week.
I think life feels like he's given me enough shit so far and wants to let me relax
>Something like that.
I mean I've nearly died like, 4 times, I deserve a break.
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You like it dont lie.
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>Mai just doesn't have a lot of personality because she's the quiet character
You just don't understand her personality because she's quiet.
Only I would understand.
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It's making it difficult to get my last level
Doesn't matter too much if they miss, the boat will be burned up anyway and it's over thw ater
I would like one Shizuru yes please
How are you doing tonight?
I want hugs too :(
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You get one hug
>Arrow with fire misses
>Boat catches fire anyways
U wot
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Yeah, I love the parts when she teases Yuuko because she doesn't get it when she's joking. Adorable.

>I'm adopting K officially on Wednesday next week.
Woah, man. Shit, sounds great, you two seem to get along well. It's a big step though.

>I mean I've nearly died like, 4 times, I deserve a break.
Story? Sounds interesting.

Yeah, I thought more about it after I posted it and she actually has a lot of personality.
She isn't very comparable to the regular quiet anime girls.
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Thats awesome congrats!.
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who is this K i missed that convo, kid you adopting? how old?

story time about deaths?
i like expressionless girls too
i like the chapters where yuuko is dreaming something about mio like when mio is a ruthless queen or something
it just works
Hello everyone
>no life back
>Juvia claimed
>hope I'm not too late
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Yeah. It's hard. Can't make anything cool, because it'll wake me up, so all i can do is move around in the non-sense that is already there.
Worst part is, i only realize i'm dreaming if the dream in non-sensical. So i'll never get control over a good dream.
Lewd Miho. Bad.
I don't know what to tell you. I still don't have any to sell.
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Love her imagination.
Cute Shizuru cute
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Yeah, she's ready to be officially my kid.
>"Its gonna be fun!" -K
>Nearly got stabbed by a mugger but I got rescued by a weird street vigilante who is pretty spooky.
>Nearly got shot on a hunting trip
>Mexican Standoff with K's original dad, he bailed before the cops showed up.
>That thing with my exgf, stab vest saved my life.
K is the sister of J who is a college kid who is my best friend and gave me a lot of support during a real depression period of my life. I helped him and K escape abusive parents and now I'm helping him pay for college and letting them live rent free in my spare rooms. Now I'm taking K off his hands, she's only nine and she's a really smart kid ^^
>Their parents died by trucker before the legal trial saw its full course.
>He took custody of her and is now giving it to me.
Its gonna be great ^^
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Should I try to talk to a girl tomorrow.
Or just stay home, do laundry, and sleep
>Kinda want to stay home...
Talk to gril
>Bone Gril.
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do what you want
Good for her, man~.

>Nearly got stabbed by a mugger but I got rescued by a weird street vigilante who is pretty spooky.
>stab vest
And who says /k/ is paranoid! Good shit.

>Mexican Standoff with K's original dad, he bailed before the cops showed up.
Fuck, how did that happen? Hope she's away from him, then.
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Do whatever floats your boat
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Do I get anything more, Miho?
Not buying, I'm just stealing hugs now
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And off to bed I go, goodnight waifu-fags, may your sleep be filled with awesome dreams

Well that sucks..
I'd say take a break if it gets too difficult to even play

Embrace the nonsense! Become the Lord of this dream.
Nonsense can be entertaining sometimes, like a having a good chuckle over something so stupid you can't even comprehend what happened
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Yeah her parents are dead af.
>Trucker railed them on the highway at 80mph.
That weird street vigilante was kinda cool though, he called himself The Justice Man.
>He beat the shit out of this dude, like, full bore went up to him and went
>"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS." and just beat the fuck out of him.
Oh and
>K's dad just fucking shows up at my front door and whips out a glock
>I had my gun too cause I knew he was there
>Whip it out on him.
>Mexican standoff
>He tries to fire, I almost fired
>His gun fucking didn't fire
>He flips out and books it
>Cops show up
>I was about half a second away from shooting him.
>I was wearing the stab vest at the time since it was rated for up to 44mag.
>A Spy?!
do you like her and in what way, it all depends on that and your choice
sounds nice hopefully you stay getting along for years to come

gotta suck being stabbed, in standoffs and in other such situations

she sure does have a great imagination mio is funny because she'sbso serious sometimes and mai is just kinda expression less
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Well you cant say your lifes boring!
Stealing? Why stealing?
Try as i might, i can't really manage to actually -do- anything beyond moving. Which is a little weird, since an occasional thing will respond to me moving, but not correctly... Like a person who was talking to me stopping talking and just staring at me moving.
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Oh yeah, its some tough stuff
>I'm just a lucky motherfucker
>MFW in DnD I have great luck rolls.
True, at least its eventful!
>I wish it wasn't so eventful that I nearly die though. Kek.
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Tristana claimed

I'm going to chill around until I pass out.

Sleep well Amatsu
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Cirno claim!
>Bone grill.
These don't help.
>Sleep sounds good tho.
I'm probably just growing attached to a person showing me the slightest bit of attention. Totally platonic more than likely.

Yeah sleep is good.
If she doesn't wanna bone you can always use roofies yo.
>Just kidding
>Thats terrible.
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Finally got her today
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Oh man, that really sucks. Poor girl.
Where was she when it happened?

Kek, really? That guy is going to get shot, but god bless him.

>His gun fucking didn't fire
What a fucking normie. Probably doesn't take care of it.
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It's stable now, the children went to bed I guess
It seemed to be going somewhere before the 404 :(
Cause it's more fun than asking!
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>that one Three Dog quote from Fallout 3 about weapon maintenance and wasteland assholes
>you know the one

If you live in Texas, wait till he enters your house. Then blast him.
I should get some roofies, just to try them out.
>And post where I'll be so I can get raped.
>Because memes
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K was at J's apartment during the whole standoff
>They never found it thankfully, they kept coming to me and were like
>"Where is he?"
>"Over my dead body fucker!"
The bullet didn't fire for 3 reasons
>Found out after the trial
>Hard primer (shitty ammo)
>The ammo was improperly made (he reloaded his own ammo but failed at it)
>It didn't even have enough powder for it to fire full force.
I could've shot him on the front lawn but I didn't think he had the stones to pull the trigger
>In Idaho if somebody's threatening your life you can fuck them up and not have to worry about legal shit as long as its proven self defense.
>I also wanted to beat him in the court.
>I also didn't really want any blood on my hands.

Anyway, gotta hit the hay
>Its fuckin midnight thirty and I've got work tomorrow. kek.

Why end his suffering when you can pile it on?
What, you can't kill a guy if he pulls a gun on you anywhere but your own home?

Fuck man, you really are lucky. You could have died right then and there!
Anyway, sleep well, you magnificent bastard.
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rng gods frown on me alot in games

lel 3 reasons for not firing, who buys a gun and doesn't maintain it that's how one ends up dead and robbed
if he was on his property shouldn't it be fine?
it's funny when they don't see the steal coming
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I see. And how does one steal a hug?
G'night, hope you face less crazy near death experiences in the future.
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Going somewhere?

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No you can, but you have to be able to prove he drew first. If he is in your home there is nothing to prove.

Again, it's just a legal thing. If he is in your home you could kill him with your bare hands and no files will be charged. If it's outside and you kill someone you'll go through the entire court procedures.
Yeah, that makes sense...
I feel like I'd be scared enough to just kill him on the spot, without caring about if I'd be able to prove that he did threaten my life.
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It really is funny when they don't. It's better that way thoguh
BY sneaking up behind you and taking a hug!
Yes. Never mind though
>gives the hug
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you're still awake?
watcha doin boat?
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Going to sleep very soon.
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I'm trying to make some templates for Civ threads.

Anyone got suggestions for what's needed?
Like just list anything you think

Currently I got a house of wood and of stone, 2 of metal and regular siding
a brick apts and a metal apts

I'm gonna paint a few power plants, trees, a university, school, and some skyscrapers and stuff.

any other ideas?
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ok i wasn't sure if about it being in your home or your property for being able to shoot
the surprise on their face is gold sometimes, getting one when you expect it makes things boring
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Yeah... A lot of the time when people act in self defense and kill another person the state will recommend therapy. It's not a light task to kill in the name of anything, and a lot of people have mental scars and PTSD from it. No joke. But again. Castle Laws and Doctrines are extremely good things.

How would you feel knowing you could not protect yourself from a potential rapist or murderer?

It has to be either a home, vehicle, or workplace occupied by the defendant. No joke, in some Texas Pharmacies they have Pharmacy Shotguns. So if a private pharmacy is robbed, anyone who legally works there can kill the robber and not be charged with manslaughter or murder. Castle Doctrine boiiiiiii
Need sleep, im out, buh-bye.

Nyan You
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You like it! Don't deny it ~
I'll take any form of affection :(
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I don't think i have time to chain cat pics today.

That's ok. Aren't you sleep?
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Happy birthday Yukko!
i always thought as long as they're on your property it's ok to shoot in self defense i.e. your front lawn
i mean i never said i wouldn't take it if it wasn't by surprise, but affection is nice
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watching the master of killing time. and listening to drunk moka talk about how he wants to die.
>I'll take any form of affection :(
Me too.
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>someone remembered
Thank you!!
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2 AM in Texas. Happy late Birthday Yucko.

Self Defense? Sure. But you have to be able to prove they are threatening your life. And no, technically your front lawn is public property unless otherwise stated.

That is why it is called "Castle Laws" and not "Lawn Laws"
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>Eats all the cake
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Exactly like this, but don't pretend you don't like it
>I have come to take all of your cuddles
No one gives me surprise hugs, let alone planned ones :(
mah nigga
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You wouldn't take all the cuddles for something this cute would you?
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Yeah. Soon.
Well that sounds lovely.
Well where's the fun in that?
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I didnt like it when I got hugs from those girls that hug everyone, it felt bad, hurt in the inside of my stomach and I'd just stand there like a stone pillar.
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>feels loved
Thank you~.

how incredibly rude </3
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Hmmm. I was never sure what her sister's name was.

Someone should shop Maho in a witch's outfit or something, so she can be a >Mahou< Shoujo Magical Tank Girl

Thank you, thank you. My joke was an abomination; I'll go drink a gallon of this delicious treat in recompense.
it's your birthday? never saw you mention it but


ok just checkin
here have a hug
unless they're close friends those hugs don't feel as good
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I most certainly would, and I will!
The fun is in making taking the hugs, and the sounds the hug-ee makes when they get startled
>Girls who gave everyone hugs
Why did I have none of these in school?
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Just got home. Got some choc mint milk and banana milk at the shops. To mix or not to mix?
>the mint is strong in the choc mint milk
>im talking numb your mouth strong
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Anyways, hug jokes aside. I need sleep.
Good night everyone.
Then ill tuck you in.

He he

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Vladmir is a based champion
>5 hp
>Ulti proc pops
>Half health
>Empowered Q
>Full health
>Win 1v3
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Personally I would not.

That way you can have your mint chocolate milk AND banana milk to enjoy at separate times.

OR maybe just mix a little of each, that way you have three different milks.
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Good night cute loli boat
No letting go, you're stuck now
Im going to bed now. You can have this while im gone.
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Illaoi is pretty much the same.
>flash into enemy team doing drag
>grab a spirit
>spam w
Ill mix a little. They are only small cartons but they fill you right up.
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WEW, thank you. I'll be keeping it close :^)
Just saying, Chocolate Milk > Regular Milk > Every Other Type of Milk Milk > fake Milks like Soy and Almond > Shit > Strawberry Milk
You have your preferences, I have mine.
Woah that's a cute gif
>Gotta put Pandora Hearts on my watch list
Even better when you have deaths dance and spirit visage kek.
>I find Vlad more fun though cause he builds fun items like protobelt and rylais
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choclate and regular are definitely too, fake milks are shit unless your lactose then it's fine, strawberry im mixed about, other types depends on which one like milk shakes are pretty close to choclate milk imo

anyways it's late and thread is slow gonna sleep
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>putting strawberry milk at the bottom
are you fucking high
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Strawberry milk is garbage. They are fine separate, but together it's just bad.

No I'm not. And even if I was I would hate Strawberry milk.


Absolutely disgusting.
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Watashi claimed.
Chocolate milk best.

I'm going to bed now.

It's a little breezy down there now. <3
Pulp? I just use strawberry milk mix. What do you mean?
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Happy birthday Yuuko
You don't even drink REAL strawberry milk?

Opinion not only discarded, but burned to ashes and flushed down the toilet.
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Night cutie
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>real strawberry milk
>keeps the pulp in
>doesn't at least filter it
do you collect your own cocoa beans and make your own choclate too
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Don't be retarded.

I may not like strawberry milk, but damnit I would want the REAL thing. And the pulp is just minced strawberries, nothing worth filtering. I just don't like pulp in my milk. The flavor is fine, it's the texture. The same reason I don't like coconut. The flavor is fine, but the texture makes me want to gag.
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Nice to meet you

I finally hit 110 everyone, so I'll be heading to sleep
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>don't be retarded
same to you

powder is just flavoring also, but i see your point about pulp, but if we mean flavor wise or talk about strawberry milk made with powder or something then it deserves to be higher
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What are you, my ex girlfriend? Stop trying to define my tastes.

I don't like strawberry milk and believe it's shit. Just be happy I won't drink it so there is more for you.
Sleep well!
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post your dicks im horny
be usefull atleast once in your lives
Jokes on you. I've posted my dick on /b/ at least 4 times in my entire lurking lifetime.

But Konata is the only one to post their dick in the thread.
then post it the 5th time
was giving my opinion or suggestion not telling you what to like calm down


There are better ways to do that instead of trying to tell people they should change their opinion. And thanks. I'm sure my dick and my armpit are floating around somewhere on some fat sweaty pedophile's computer. FeelsGoodMan.

Can you rolls quads in the next thread? Do it and I might.
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