The only times I feel truly happy is when I make other people happy, but it only last for a few minutes then I go back to my depressed filled self. I try to change how I feel but I'm too used to this emptiness. The people closest too me dont noticed because I'm a good lier
>>701917161 Can't blame you for not believing it, I don't believe most of the stories in here but I've seen some of the shit that this place has. I'm part of said shit. Nothing special about it, but since we are talking secrets, figured I'd share.
>>701917227 I mean that's your problem. Atheism makes life objectively pointless for multiple reasons. If you feel like you don't want to join a religion because there is no evidence of a God you can just check out: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/why-the-universe-is-the-way-it-is-hugh-ross/1103068989
i really want to fuck my underaged cousin, and i know she wants me so im probably going to go through with it eventually. not too sure what that will mean for our long term relationship though, like what the hell is it gonna be like seeing her in 20 years, both of us having known what happened
>fucked my little cousin when she was 9 years old i was 12 years old >did many sexual things with her, like handjobs footjobs, oral, etc. and she enjoyed it. >never intercourse because i was dumb as fuck >sercetly i wanted to lose my virginity to her. >i'm 22 years old and in the back of my mind i still love her
>>701917830 do not do it. my older cousin fucked me and it really fucked my head and i started dating way older men all through high school and college and like... things would have just been better if that never happened
>>701917781 I like how, even though I made the US soldier reference, you still consider it mass murder. Personally I think its funny we reward one but condemn the other. Its not like I'm hurting anyone wih it, hell you might even consider it spring cleaning. Its not as if they are not trying to kill us, you know.. But go on, do or believe whatever you want mate, don't care.
I'm a virgin, and i have been lying about having sex ever since i was 15.
All my friends know that it's a lie, but they're too nice to ever tell me. I talk to a lot of girls, but i never have the guts to "make a move" and because of this i have put people trough some insanely cringe-worthy akward situations.
I will never stop lying, and i will never get laid.
>>701918016 i want your opinion. she is about 16 right now, im 21. throughout all of our lives she has been extremely sexually interested in me, we barely get to see each other and every time she instigates something, although 99 percent of the time the rest of the family is there so she wold never try anything serious. in recent years i have validated her advances and even made some very light advances of my own, these days when i have to say goodbye she will burst into tears because she knows how long it will be before she gets to see me again, the only guy who has ever expressed any kind of sexual interest in her.
so its not quite the same as your deal, frankly even if noting were to ever happen there would probably always be the sexual tension
>>701918471 Yeah the last website is good for clearing things up if something in The Bible seems weird, or a lvl. 99 fedora tipper takes a quote way out of context.
Of course I disagree with some of his scriptual interpretations like I think The Bible says it is sometimes OK to do the greater good because a person acting with God did lie to cover for some good people and that was valued at the time.
>>701919027 I actually don't care about the sex itself. I have masturbated myself to insane degrees and horrendous fetishes, to the point that i feel if i ever get laid it won't matter.
But you can never tell someone you're a 20 year old virgin without people looking at you weirdly. You will be know as "that virgin guy" and girls will only talk to you out of pity. Your close friends and family will take pity on you, and make sure they never talk about sex in front of you.
I prefer to keep lying, just to keep everyone happy.
>>701919246 Sex would not be the right option in my opinion , unless you in the future are able to spend more time with her I'd say sure ,but if you can't change that you'd be messing her up even more then she currently is
I watched my little bro kill himself I picked him up for highschool like usual but all of a sudden he asked me to stop the car. This wasn't unusual because he got carsick easily. We were on one of those bridges he walked over to the edge. I knew he had been bullied in school recently because he came out as gay to one of his friends and I guess he wasn't a real friend to him because he spread his secret throughout the school. He had been beaten up countless times in the two months since he was outted by his "friend". He steeped onto the ledge and I knew what he was about to do. I struggled with my seatbelt but I got out just as he but a foot over. I wasn't quick enough. He landed head first into that dry ditch and the fall almost echoed the world into silence. I just froze for a moment. When the ambulance finally arrived he was pronounced dead on the seen. I let my only brother die because I couldn't unbuckle MY FUCKING SEATBELT... I'm sorry I let you down little bro..
>>701920134 >>701920138 Yes, i should get some new friends. I've done this countless times, and when push comes to shove i'm lying about it again.
It fucking kills me inside because i've lied about it for so many people,including my parents, that i'm not a virgin.
I'm afraid that if the truth ever comes up, i won't be able to hide my face anywhere.
I have currently 2 girls who have a dead on crush on me, and every time i get close to them i just freeze and don't know what to do. I have literally spent hours talking with them, but not a single kiss.
I wish i could be shameless, and actually grow a pair and talk to them. But i'm too much of a coward to ever do that.
>Cheated on ex gf. >Hiv scare >Got tested right away. >Had to have sex with gf or suspicions would arise >Test come back negative but never take another one due to fear of having hiv >Might've given the love of my life hiv >Fuck you bitch if I can't have you then you can suffer with me
I snuck into my friend's room while she and her family were away, and I tried on her panties. I masturbated while wearing them, came, and left, but my mom saw me leave. (We were in rented cabins in a set, my family's cabin was right next to her family's, as it had been for the same two weeks every summer for years). I lied and said I was in there to look for my ear buds. She was suspicious but she bought it, and didn't tell the girl or her family to my knowledge. This was several years ago. The following year (not sure which year- I think it was 4 years ago?) I did it again. This time it was worse- while I was in the act, I heard a car drive up- the girl and her family had returned from lunch. I quickly took off her panties and put on my shorts while the door was closed, but it hadn't closed all the way, and it started to swing back open (many doors in these shitty cabins did this). I pushed it closed a couple of times, and I tried to hide under her bed, but it was too low. I couldn't risk being found in her closet either, so I faced the family and told them I hid in the house to surprise them when they got back, as a "prank." I said I chose her room because I figured they would go straight to the kitchen and/or the bathroom, and her room was the furthest from both. Terrible lie, I know, but I panicked. I wondered if my anxious state was obvious, but I put that thought aside and continued my story to save my ass. The girl said "so that's why my door kept opening and closing." I realized something as I was starting to calm down and the situation was becoming more like just any of the normal times I had been over their cabin- I was there almost every day of the vacation because I was friends with the girl and her brother and their parents liked me. I had left the pair of her panties on the floor under her bed, and she would either find them out of place or not find them at all (you know girls never buy identical pairs of underwear- if one was missing, she would know).
>>701919610 >>701920203 im an attractive guy. she has lived in a bubble her entire life, and i was the only guy outside her immediate family she ever became close with. when she was younger, while i would lay on the floor watching tv she would straddle me and grind her pussy against me. more recently, while heading to the closet to find some board game, she has bent over and grabbed my hips, pounding her ass into my dick region. i let her play doctor with me like 3 years ago and she starting feeling my penis through my pants. last time i saw her, she wanted me to take a bath with her (i had to refuse), she placed my hand on her thighs multiple times, and even acted like she heard me say "long hard white thing penetrating a hole" so that she could introduce some kind of sexual spin to the conversation. there is essentially no question.
>>701921415 I know it was a dick move for him to do that and that he should've come to me for help but, still I miss him and I was kinda fucked up already but watching the only friend I every truly had, who I tried to protect from our fucking alcoholic father, just lie dead in a ditch didn't help.
>>701920128 ive only been able to see her once every 1-2 years, but after next year ill be moving to her state, within driving distance. by that time she will be 17. i plan on feeling out the situation more once i have the opportunity to see her more frequently, but like i said every single time i see her theres this serious sexual tone in the air and im basically 99% sure that she would make her intentions clear if we were ever to be alone
>>701921766 Yeah, exactly, of course seeing something as fucked up as that is going to fuck you up. He should have tried to get help but if he truly felt absolutely helpless and like there was no other way out he shouldn't have killed himself in front of his own fucking BROTHER! He should have done it on his own time, by himself. He didn't just make you lose him, he forced you to watch him die.
I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm just saying that it was a major fucking dick move on his part. I know you would be just as sad if he would have killed himself not in front of you but at least you wouldn't have that horrible image in your head. I'm sorry for you loss, anon.
>>701922340 thats likely what im going to do, the only issue here is that when shes 17 if there is ever a scenario where we are left alone for an extended amount of time i am 99% sure that things will get heated fast. maybe i can keep the situation from becoming explicitly sexual until 18 though, i guess we could do other stuff
>be me just now >/funny thread anons. Hey that reminds me, it's time to pound off before bed. >how to fap? >decide to look up the "girl that could have been" >I am totally happily married, current wife is a nice piece of tail. But there's that girl you know? >you spotted her at your grandmother's funeral when you were 15 >almost blew a load right in front of Old Nan thinking about that cute (insert age of consent here) year old in a silk dress you've been eye fucking while the priest is going on and on. >find out the next day she's your cousin's husband's niece >end up at family reunion, post funeral awkward adolescence ensues, 1st base almost acheived! >be increasingly dirty pen pals for three years >lose touch but occasionally chat >life moves on, facebook arrives (yes I'm that's old) > facebook leads to much FURIOUS MASTURBATION because bikinis. > Finally really lose touch until this thread >go on facebook and start going through photos, cock in hand. >spew vomit at the sight of the fucking landwhale nursing the 7th child to fall out of her now presumably cavernous vagina. /gnight b.
>>701922384 Thanks dude and I still get pissed off at him sometimes but he chose to do it and it happened and there's nothing I can do now. Still visit his grave on his b-day and Christmas. I remember that on his first birthday since he had died I spent the day scrubbing the word faggot that had been spray painted onto his tombstone.
I stick a cold boiled egg up my ass and walk five blocks to get a can of coke from shop that has hot chick serving. Have chat with hot chick then return home with can of coke, remove egg from ass and eat it and coke whilst sporting a huge erection
>>701917508 Never understood the stigma with this? I'd rather have a good friend of mine get with my sister than some random dude I gotta figure out. Somewhat autism and sexually very open and exciting, by every standard except I'm married in a very happy closed monogamous relationship. But woo we have tried every position, every hole, etc
>>701921122 I couldn't let them find out what a horrible thing I had done and let over a decade of friendship with both her and her brother, with whom I was closer than I was to her, fall to waste. Not to mention what my protective and sexually prudish parents and rather religious aunt, uncle and cousins (also staying in another cabin in the same complex) would think of me and do to me if they found out. I had no choice but to return to the scene of the crime, so I told her dad, with whom I was talking casually about something unrelated, that I thought I had dropped a quarter when trying to hide. He offered me one from his pocket to replace the one I had "lost," but I declined, saying it was somewhat special (I collected coins, story checks out)- I think I said it was a state quarter I had never seen before. With that, I went in there and moved her panties from the floor and put them back in her pile of discarded clothes, and hoped she wouldn't notice that they weren't in exactly the same place as before. I talked with her mom as I left, and she seemed distant, like she wasn't believing me. I tried to ignore the idea that she saw right through my "good boy" facade and saw the pervert that was masturbating while wearing her teenage daughter's panties less than half an hour before. Needless to say, I didn't try that ever again. It just about put my panty fetish to rest, for which I am relieved. At this point it's worth mentioning that I have a sister. She is nearly ten years older than me, and I used to raid the top drawer in her dresser too. I'm not sure why it seems like everyone puts their underwear in the top drawer, but I am no exception. Anyway, it started before I hit puberty, I was merely curious what girls wore underneath. It didn't stop when I hit puberty though, and it didn't help that I found my sister attractive. It's fucked up, I know, and that's why I don't do that sort of thing anymore.
>>701922819 >I spent the day scrubbing the word faggot that had been spray painted onto his tombstone.
That's fucking messed up that people would do that. I'm really sorry this happened to you but I'm proud of you for being able to continue on with life and for not "following in his footsteps" after the incident.
Other than that, how is life now? I mean, you said it was 9 years ago so perhaps your life has gotten a bit better than it was?
>>701923070 right, shes gonna kill herself because a guy shes fantasized about sexually for all of her life sleeps with her when shes 17. citation needed on that one. obviously i am going to be careful but be reasonable. sex isnt some kind of horrible taboo ritual that fucks up 17 year olds for life and drives them to suicide, its completely fucking natural
>>701921812 No, and no. We are still on friendly terms, though. It so happens that she had said she liked me when she was 12 and I was 14, but my only response was walking away without saying anything. It wasn't that I didn't like her too, it was that I was so young and the idea kind of freaked me out. I regret it a little bit, but obviously it wasn't going anywhere since we only saw each other in those cabins once a year for just two weeks, and that we were both really young.
>>701923453 Thank you /b/ro. My life is okay now I stopped talking to my father. And about a month after his funeral a beat his garbage friend have near death with a aluminum baseball bat. That asshole didn't have the balls to tell the police. I regret that now (even though it was super satisfying). I have a gf of 3 years and we plan to get married next year in spring. Just wish my brother would be there as my best man.
>>701924038 >a beat his garbage friend have near death with a aluminum baseball bat.
kek I feel like that should have been your darkest secret
Anyway, I'm really glad that you're getting married soon. You're a lucky man. Meanwhile, I recently just ruined a wedding (not intentionally) and lost a really good friend. I got really close to the girl who was about to get married and we cuddled a day before the wedding, and she considered calling off the wedding for me. She didn't, and I went to the wedding drunk as fuck and claimed my love for her and ruined her special day and she blocked me from her life. A month later, she left the guy and got with a close friend from her childhood. I went to the husband's house, talked with him for a couple hours, had a beer with him and we bro hugged at the end of it. The next day (yesterday), he held her hostage in his house and tried to kill her and himself and there was a stand-off between him and the police.
>>701920694 The woman I loved the most did this to me, 5 years of relationship and she did this to me, she didn't use protection and get herself pregnat, we broke and I still love her but cannot forgive her, he destroyed me, I can't fell happyness anymore, do the guy a favor and broke with him before you fuck his soul fucking slut
I've made my little brother suck my cock until I busted all over his face and had about 5 of the neighborhood kids suck me all together at once when I was about 9 we used to hold like experimental jack off orgies and suck each other's dicks as kids. The last time I had an experience was my little brother fucked me in the ass with his tiny cock when I was about 13 maybe and he was about 9. I've also put my cock on my mom's face while she slept. And touched her pussy.
A few years ago I stayed with my ex gf's family at the time while my house was being built. Sometimes I used to get up early and shower for about 20 mins and work my morning wood in the shower. Her household would get up and her parents would work and then I'd have to cook breakfast and get her sisters off to school. Sometimes I'd unload a big creamy load in the youngest ones cereal and then serve it to her in bed with my dick still half spent and dripping. She thought I was the best.
> Back in middle school there was this steep hill kids would slide down. > Fat, autistic kid standing at the bottom watching the kids slide down > As a little kid slides down I push the autistic kid and he lands on a little kid sliding down > Kid starts bleeding and screaming > ohshit.jpg > Teacher comes running over asking what happened > Autistic kid tries telling the teacher that I pushed him > Defend myself saying that he slipped and I had nothing to do with it > Teacher believes me because the other kid is autistic > Autistic kid starts crying > I walk away > We all live happily ever after
>>701923408 Why do you honestly want that though? like at the end of the day, what do you honestly think is going to happen, like if your dad recognizes her, he will either approach you about it or he'll do nothing and not notice her. I seriously cant see the logic behind exposing your gf to your own father... Like i know cucks go on about STRANGERS doing that, but your own dad?
>>701921578 If you ever hope to have a long and fulfilling life with your bf, and you know for a fact he wants that and loves you that much too, dont do it. If you don't see this, and you still wanna fuck this guy, break up with your bf. And wait a month, at least, before fucking this guy. Eh. Best advice I can give, just be true to yourself and never introduce infidelity where it can be avoided. Thats a story covered in shit, just blood, tears, and ruined trust.
>got chick pregnant in Freshman year of HS >convinced her to try hardcore shit where I get to beat her and shit >she loved it >pretended I went too far and ended up forcing a miscarriage >"I love you girl", "I'm sorry", "We'll get through this", etc. etc. bullshit said to her >left her a week after >she apparently tried to kill herself several times over the years
Am I the bad guy? It was that or be stuck with a bab' at 14(graduated at 17) and a chick who was becoming increasingly emo.
>>701925331 Well, it's just so fucking messed up like what the hell? How did I end up in this situation? I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone or something. Her husband told me that she only faked her feelings for me, and just used me as an excuse to get out of the marriage. It sucks being so used like that. She manipulated me into deeply caring about her. Or well, so her husband says. Now he might be going to jail and she's currently with someone else. Did she ever actually care about me? She made me love her and then didn't call off the wedding and then she left her husband for someone else who wasn't even me. Ugh.
The guy she's with called me yesterday and reassured me that the husband didn't hurt her or anything and he promised me that I'll be able to sit down and talk to her once soon, once she's calmed down a bit from the whole situation. I think after I talk to her I'll tell her that I'm happy that she's alright and then I'll go my seperate ways.
Also, a lot of my sad reaction images will be of Walter from season 1
>>701924079 you are incapable of recognizing these factual events that consistently occur every single time i see this girl, solely because she isnt 18 years old. you literally believe it to be impossible that a younger girl be interested sexually in a slightly older guy huh? you're a fucking idiot. but no, surely im fucked in the head, its all my fault, im imaging all of this. im not. she is completely obsessed with me. frankly, i dont care that you are incapable of understanding this, i know the reality of the situation and the situation is that a girl who will be 18 by the time i see her next is obsessed with me, sexually interested in me, and wants to make things happen. i will feel out the situation tactfully and logically as i have done and should the next time i see her this obvious obsession is still present, then i will be open to sexual or psedo sexual encounters with her. the fact that i am her cousin barely matters, i have only ever gotten to visit her once every year or two and there is no family bond that makes attraction impossible.
i challenge you to tell me what you believe to be heinous about two human beings that are attracted to each other exploring each other's bodies. oh but wait, you probably dont think its possible for there to be a sexual situation with a younger girl and a slightly older guy without imagining the guy to be an obese disgusting pervert raping her against her will while she screams. of course you wont actually provide any argument at all for why what i describe here is "fucked up sheit", you will most likely just quote your own inability to conceive of such a tactful sexual encounter as being anything other than horrible rape, or life destroying for the girl somehow because shes slightly below the normatively defined age of consent in that particular state (in spite of the fact that that probably wont be the case when i next see her).
face it, you derive your morality from the law entirely.
>>701923330 I was caught by my sister once when I was around 13. I crept in there and picked up a pair of her panties that she had left on her bed. I heard her voice say "anon..." in a disappointed tone and I jumped, said "hello" in a deep, drawn out tone (spaghetti can make you do strange things), dropped the panties, and ran back to my room. After she went off to college I continued to raid her room in the same way. She had taken most of her clothes but a few bikinis and older panties remained. Once my mom caught me leaving her room quietly but quickly (think running on tiptoes) and she forced me to admit to what I did. I think this made her very suspicious when she saw me leaving the friend's cabin, and rightfully so. That brings me back to the aftermath of the girl's family catching me in her room. I don't know how, but I managed to hang around and talk to them normally even though my heart was pounding like I had been sprinting. I convinced myself I had to stick around to make it seem like a normal interaction and that I hadn't just been caught doing something fucked up. Anyway, I left after a while (not sure how long- it might have felt like longer because of my adrenaline levels). A few hours later that day her dad took her, her brother, and I out on his boat. I was relieved that it seemed like I was still in good standing with them. Then girl's brother asked me about it, saying he thought it was a little weird, but I stuck with my story and he believed me, I was never asked again. I didn't try to forget- I was so ashamed of what I did that I wanted to remember the shame and sort of pay for what I did. It's worth noting I was Catholic, but I'm now an atheist, so shame and paying for misdeeds by suffering through guilt played a big role in my upbringing. I thought about it every day for weeks, I beat myself up over it constantly. After a few months it began to slip to the back of my mind.
>>701926040 >gets gf knocked up >lie to her face >act as if you going to stay but have plans to bail because i'm selfish >because of my selfish ways, she then proceeds to try and kill herself all whilst at the age of 14-18 >Am I the bad guy
>>701918016 right, he fucked you. you totally didnt agree to the interaction, because surely it cant possibly be that you wanted him like he wanted you, and your ensuing obsession with older men is entirely your own fault. naw couldnt possibly be that, after all its all surely the mans fault for being a man that you were open to a sexual encounter with. and you feel that because you became attracted to older men your cousin should be demonized because you cant take responsibility for your actions. tits or gtfo
>>701918016 >has sex with guy >starts to become more attracted to guys like him because good time >suddenly get older and regret it >blame partner for being someone you had a good sexual experience with, contributing to your taste in men
>>701914155 I really really really want to rape someone. Almost daily I think about going out and breaking into someones house. I feel the same way about murder. I've thought multiple times about how to sneak around the neighborhood and through yards and shit. If i wanted to i could do it and no one would ever no it was me.
>>701926094 That sucks ass dude. She manipulated you don't let here control you through your feelings. I've been in bad relationships before, trust me don't try to love here because she'll only try to hurt you more. There is a girl out there for you trust me, you just have to look it may seem impossible but it'll work out.
>>701926986 Why do people gotta assume i act super feminine...and i am not very masculine..
I am just your normal every day seeming guy, i have a big secret i'v never told anyone outside my parents.. and it just burns me... I am not gay... i don't dress up like a Woman.. i don't take hrt.. and i don't want a Sex change..!
I am just depressed that thing turned out this way for me..
But i can see sharing my feelings even on the INTERNET is to much..
>>701923905 It's not like guys never cheat. My mom got cheated on and trusted him again then he did it again. Now he has a retard child with that slut. My mom almost killed herself over that whole thing. Guys are just a needy as women are.
>>701927935 >>701927766 checked by the way >>also implying you're a janitor and not just another shitposter if janitors reported shit like this there would be hundreds of reports daily, of which maybe 1-2 would actually come to be true
>>701928084 No problem /b/ro. I met my gf at work and we just clicked. Your soulmate will probably come unexpectedly and it sure is a nice feeling to have someone to love and who loves you unconditionally.
>>701928162 Actually we make hundreds of reports daily. We are encourage to report everything and anything we consider even slightly suspicious to authorities, with the IP and timestamp of the post. Thats why we don't allow proxies or TOR posting on this site. In complaining with law enforcement agencies we had caught hundred of pedophiles, rapists, illegal gun owners, illegal immigrants, criminal hackers, etc...
>>701926445 I don't think they told my parents or my aunt and uncle, since they all would not let me get away with not doing my dishes, let alone creeping into our friends' cabin and jerking off with their daughter's underwear on (I was careful not to leave "DNA evidence" on anything). The day after, the girl asked me if I enjoyed all the clothes she left in her room. I held back the spaghetti that wanted nothing but to get me caught in the lie and played it off, just mentioning I remebered she did, in fact, have a lot of dirty laundry piled up in her room. For months, even years, I wondered if she had known (maybe she saw me behind the door that kept swinging open, maybe this, maybe that, maybe her mom had guessed something was fishy, maybe she knew I was attracted to her despite my attempts to bury my feelings to avoid creeping her and her family out and losing both her friendship and her brother's.) The incident weighed heavily on me for weeks, even months, and now and then I still think of it with pains of shame and guilt for even risking a strong tie with a lovely family because I was horny and attracted to their teenage daughter. Somehow, I got away with it. I got some weird reactions from them, but I don't think they ever found out what I really did. When I saw this thread, I immediately thought of this incident and decided to finally tell the secret I promised myself I would take to the grave. I feel a little better, but the guilt is still there and nothing can change what I did. This is why I masturbate so much, usually 2-5 times a day, because I'm afraid of what I might do if I don't do something to cope with sexual urges. I worry a little less now that I no longer indulge my previous fascination with panties, but I still think a horny version of myself could be dangerous in other ways. I don't have any other abnormal sexual tendencies, with one exception.
I was always a strange kinda kid (The one playing with dolls as a little kid)
And i'd always wear my mothers clothes just being a weird kid, but around the age of 13 i started to think that i should of truly been born female, because i loved the thoughts of being intertwined with other girls and girls activities, i always liked the thought of have a Bf because at times i feel so weak and worthless i'd like to be dating someone strong to lift me up.. (Yea i know i am weird)
I talked to my parents about my issues at the age of 13 or 14 (idk) and they are very religious people, so they told me that it would be a sin to be a girl because GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!!! Oh i am sure..
And i am almost 20 now and nothing has changed with me, i am still the same scared, depressed normal guy that i was when i was 13.
I been considering suicide a lot lately, and i am now starting to see why people with G/D commit suicide so much..
It's because there is nothing we can do,
I could actually probably pass looking like a chick if i took hrt, since i am small and not very manly looking anyways.. but i want to be a real female.. not someone in an outfit pretending..
>>701928619 Lmao I hope nobody finds my folder with all these pictures of Walter from season 1. I'm not sure why I wanted all of them but I guess I just really related to his depression that he had at the beginning of the show. I actually sat down and took screenshots at certain scenes with Walter that I liked
>>701923919 I want to be the owner of a big cock. Just a big fucking intimidating cock. My girl cums repeatedly when we fuck, at one point she was screaming how it felt like her "insides are being rearranged". She was a totes virgin before us, and never masturbated before we met, so that could have a bit to do with it. I've got a decent 7" on a good day, but I'd be a lier if I didn't crave a foot long, 5 inch thick white cock with a matching pair of veiny, heavy balls to match just to destroy her fucking pussy and ass and never feel self conscious about being naked (grower, not a shower, as it stands).
John Hopkins University will no longer perform gender reassignment surgery because the clinical outcomes are much worse (really fucking terrible) than for people who simply receive counseling to learn to identify with their genetic gender.
That said, who give a fuck what behaviors are associated with physical characteristics. Learn to live with your penis, it's your fucking penis, and then learn to redefine masculinity according to the traits you identify with.
And don't blame your social outcast neckbeard bullshit on your sexuality. That's a different problem that needs counseling and possibly medications before it gets so bad that you become homeless and die under a bridge.
(Went to grad-school for all this shit before I decided I was making more money as a UX Designer and liked it more anyway.)
>>701929299 I used to go into the woods behind my parents' house, let it all hang, and masturbate until I came. I would clean up (I had to use my socks, leaves, or a rock until got smart and brought tissues) and the realization that I was completely naked in the woods (publicly accessible conservation land) where kids built forts, older kids played paintball or airsoft or drank beer and partied around a fire they weren't legally allowed to have, and adults walked their dogs, went jogging or hiking, ot whatever normies do in the woods. I deliberately confined my deviant activities to parts of the woods that couldn't be seen from anyone's yard, which didn't give me much room to work with, since the conservation area was not very big and surrounded by residential areas. I did this many times, probably more than 20. Even in winter once or twice, and many times in cool fall or spring weather. I never got caught, and hardly ever saw anyone back there. Signs of human activity were abundant, but maybe people mostly went back there in the morning or early afternoon, whereas I typically went in late afternoon.
>>701930376 I wasn't the guy you were talking to, in fact, I feel like you should just say fuck it and go for it but I also think you should calm your autism down a bit and not get so angry at strangers over the internet
>>701931151 you have pre-conceived gender bias instilled by the world around you. stop being a sheep and decide your own identity rather than bitching that you identify with one stereotype more than another. it's within your control, so stop crying about it.
While high on weed, I had flashing memories that helped delve more into of my previous state while high on psychedelics.
During that trip I had a number of disturbing reality models.
I presumed we were all aboard an alien ship stuck in stasis, and this entire reality was nothing more than a simulation.
I believed I was a man on the lamb age 40, and that my friends were my children.
I believed that there were entities attempting to take me from reality because I was a piece of god they demanded go with them.
I wrote an inflammatory post on fb that described me wanting to murder my uncle for what he did to my cousin, but in a paranoid way that made everyone barely able to understand.
While high on weed, I just remember commands, and a lot of blacking things out.
For a while I've been trying to ask myself if I was my cousin, but I don't really understand how that would work, and I'm pretty sure I'm just entirely allowing that part of my psychosis to run away with itself.
>>701929431 Then why not become one? If you can't, couldn't you at the very least just come out as gay and be a feminine guy? Anyway, good luck with your future. I couldn't possibly know what you're going through. I mean, for the most part. I've always been kind of a feminine guy although I'm attracted to women and I'm happy to be male
>>701926857 >Implying it's a she >Implying the act of incest doesn't fuck people up mentally >Implying you're an expert on this >Implying people shouldn't have regrets >Implying they're demonizing their cousin >Implying they don't take responsibility for their actions >Implying you know exactly what happened
>>701929431 Sorry about your struggle anon. If you do something, I hope you'll get an apology on the other side, or at least some kind of solace. But I'd try to make the best of life anyway, you're gonna die eventually, so might as well do some awesome shit right?
>>701930653 Last one, probably. I haven't quite worked out why I was so turned on by wearing girls' underwear. I didn't want to be a girl, but maybe I wanted to know what it felt like? Maybe it was because it was something hidden and mysterious, because the girl didn't want me to see. My best guess is that a "good girl" owning sexy panties was a symbol of a sexual side, normally hidden from me, and that I liked the thought of her wearing them, especially when I could feel what wearing them might feel like to her. I recall liking how the girl's underwear cradled my ass. I felt terrible for doing that, as I still do, and the best thing I could do to assuage the guilt and shame was to stop altogether. But maybe it isn't that weird of a fetish and it's all in my head. That doesn't change the fact that masturbating while wearing your sister's panties is a little fucked up, though. Or maybe I was turned on by the adrenaline rush from stealing (or borrowing, as I would always put them back to avoid detection) something I wasn't allowed to see, and doing with it as I pleased. In any case, my panty raiding days are over, and maybe one day I'll actually fuck a girl. I've come so close, twice, but Anon, Jr. failed me when I most needed him to stand at attention, probably because I was nervous and had masturbated earlier that day, although I pretty much always wank more than once per day. I'm worried that after over 4,500 orgasms (a low estimate, still more than the average man has in a lifetime) by my own hand in the past 7-8 years since I started masturbating, and none from anyone else, that I have trained myself to be turned on only when I'm alone.
I work third shift as a patient care assistant at an extended care facility in North Florida. Sometimes if I'm horny i jerk off on the patients when I change their diapers. Twice I have actually put my dick in their pussies. It feels like regular pussy and there is absolutely zero chance for me to get caught. I think I might have a problem.
>>701931979 As I was aiming my rifle at him, at the time I really wanted to make sure he knew he fucked up, so I tried to shoot 2 shots in his neck and 2 in his torso. When I saw him shift his weight against the wall and crumble foreword I knew I hit right where I wanted. I was more shocked that I actually hit him where I wanted. Not by the fact that I just shot him and now he's dying. Now I look back on it and it scares me, because I felt like I enjoyed it.
The World has always been this way, I'v been doing my homework as well.
You can say the internet is a of influencing young minds to be molded into a certain way.. But if that's true then why was there faggots like me in the old day? (Golden Age Roman Era) Look, plenty of sites like this http://library.transgenderzone.com/?page_id=1176#.V8Z6xSMrLaY
It shows that even people (Without the use of the internet) still where fucked in the head.
I think the fact we got eyes and the fact we can like and dislike something is the reason we choose to think a certain way.
Sure... SURE if i didn't have eyes or ears then there is no way i could possible want to be a girl right? or be shaped by this system without the basic human functions..
Sure, i agree with that, but if there is one thing i like about this whole fucking G/D deal.. is that it's what i choose to day dream about and suffer over, and one day i might commit suicide because of it... and if i did that.. then everything would be ok, because you wouldn't feel the need to keep judging me, and i could rest in peace.
I am so emotionally bound to wanting to be female that there is no way you could change my thinking, i don't even know why you would try.. i didn't asked to be judged.. i just wanted to talk about my feelings... but because people like you exist it makes it hard for me to vent these feelings.
I said that you should learn to live with your biological gender and redefine your identity / sociological, sexual, and behavioral beliefs rather than buying into binary gender roles.
I also said you should get professional counseling, because nobody can just change all their shit by themselves through willpower. You need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to change your core beliefs about yourself and the world around you so that you can address your dysphoria etc.
I'm not blaming you for being fucked up, I'm saying you can do something about learning to live with being different if you're willing to get off your ass and take responsibility for your life instead of being a victim to the world, to your circumstances, to your pre-conditions, and your own ignorance.
>>701932379 Calm down, he's just ribbing you just a little, don't be bothered by stuff so easily, this is /b/ after all. Most of us won't understand your pain, so don't expect random Anons like him to sympathies with you.
>>701932449 OP asked for deepest and darkest... I don't really do very well with ladies my own age. I'm really good to my "girls" at the nursing home. It's really not a sin as I'm giving pleasure to people who get very little.
>>701918744 I've been went through the same thing and I can tell you the awkward moment when you finally have sex is fucking nerve wracking. Being the autist that I am I was more worried about getting the chick pregnant(even with a condom) when I should have just been enjoying it 100% of the time, hell that was the first and last time due to autism
Social situations make me so anxious. No one knows but it kills me. I've never spent a day at public school since my parents decided to homeschool me from the start and now I'm pretty much fucked for life. I can't talk at all and it's almost 100% impossible for me to make and keep friends-- I only really am able to connect with people if they have problems as well and need to talk about it, then I can open up and talk normally for some really strange reason.
Also forget talking with girls, that's impossible because I only grew up with brothers. I'll probably only last until I leave my parents' house, then I'll either snap or become homeless because I can't face other people or any kind of social responsibility for that matter. I'm so fucked and I literally can almost sense impending doom in my head.
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