No feels thread? Feels thread.
This might seem really petty, but I just played League of Legends for the first time with some friends I just met and they would keep on making fun of me for how bad I was. I don't know why, but it really got to me. The only reason I play it is because a girl I'm somewhat into that is also into me plays it a lot
>sit at home every night drinking myself into oblivion
>go to work during the day, grocery store
>can't wait to die
>no gf, not a virgin tho
>paid some hooker to fuck one night, got freaked out and recinded myself to my house
>only time I go out is to get beer and go to work
>spend rest of time on /b/ and vidya
just fuck my shit up fam
felt an immediate sense of regret and paranoia for whatever reason...
thinking the cops are gonna bust in, her pimps gonna show up, etc etc
im just a fucked up guy really, brains been in a wack since childhood
>break up with GF yesterday
>completely okay with it we both took it pretty well, she cried a bit but she's the one that brought up the breakup anyways so w.e
>don't cry at all don't react much, I felt like breaking up with her anyways and probably would've done it in a few weeks anyways
>fast forward to today, she let me sleep in the apartment until I'm ready to move out since its hers, she's at her moms cuz she's out of town
>now I can't sleep, feel absolutely shitty, keep thinking of small details that I never really thought about when we were together, like, I go to our bed to lay down but I don't feel her heat under the blanket, can't hear her breathing when she sleeps, can't smell that unique scent of her neck.
Feel like complete shit now
Should I also mention that I'm really hungry right now?
Thanks for making me laugh at least
I'm sure ill get over it once the shock settles but it just feels really shitty right now, don't even know if I want her back but I wish she was here right now anyways, doesn't help that she lives just a few minutes away and I keep imagining the door unlocking and her stepping inside cuz she misses me too
But she probably doesn't really, I wasn't a good to her
You know what to do OP.
Practice on a new account. Study the game and tactics and builds and matchups during class or taking a shit or before bed or whatever.
Become the best summoner out of all your shitty friends.
Then when they ask to play switch back to your noob account. Carry their faggot asses through every game with full confidence.
Bonus points: find a way to assist her in game to not die. Chicks suck at vidya and don't say anything cringy in chat to her when you do. Np ;) will do.
Fuck those guys. Get that pussy and become alpha nerd.
Short story time.
So there's this girl I met at college during freshman year. She was beautiful, but reserved - and not many guys noticed her.
But I noticed her. And I, being the beta faggot I was, couldn't work up the courage to talk to her.
So I thought I could get her to notice me through other means, whether it be wearing a Romney hat in liberal land or spending a shitload of money for pies in some forgettable class that we shared.
Then, I thought that if I lifted, maybe becoming /fit/ would get her to like me.
But I still couldn't talk to her, though I was able to talk to other girls. They were babes, not a single girl under 7/10, but they just weren't her. There were girls that were much sexier than her, girls that I had a chance with, but turned down because I had put her on a pedestal and worshipped her like an idol. They say that the things that you want most in life are the things that you can't have.
That statement will never be more true than when she passed away. It happened so fast, the police reports said. When a motorcyclist comes down on the wrong side of the road and you swerve to avoid them, you don't expect that you'll wrap your car around a telephone pole.
I want you Anons to know that you need to stop being afraid of talking to "the girl". You know who I mean. The one that you think about before you go to bed. The one that you daydream of when work is slow and you can afford to fool around. The one that might have liked you back, but you never bothered taking to her.
Don't let your dream die in vain.
Don't let Regan die in vain.
I don't make her happy anymore, and I don't know what to do...
Thans anon. I'll keep your words in mind.
I've always assumed that people hated me. I've always thought that those who like me as a friend just wanted something to waste time on, or girls who showed interest were just fucking with me or I was just taking things the wrong way. Recently there was a girl whos in classes with me who I thought hated me. A friend told me she thought the world of me, but I still don't understand why. She invited me to a party. When I went, I spent more time with her. I guess he was right, but I don't know what to do.
Help me /b/
Sounds like you're doing fine on your own, if you want to keep seeing her, do that, if the two of you said bye on a good note after the party I think you should ask her to do something, doesn't have to be a date just ask her over and order a pizza
>Break up with gf on friday
>texting as everything is normal until yesterday
>have to put an end to it, can't go on like this
>texts me this last night.
>messages me on facebook today
>I ignore her
>"sorry I bothered you G, I'll leave you alone now"
>removes me/blocks me
JUST KILL ME PLEASE.
I read that comic every other day. I couldn't agree with it more
>always a bit reclusive as a child
>around the turn from middle to high school, stopped talking to people whenever I didn't have to
>whole summer I only spoke to family and waiters at restaurants I was dragged to
>high school starts up
>go for first day
>make it through fine
>sob to myself for hours
I don't think I have anxiety or anything, but fuck, I hate talking.
>dating girl for a while
>her Facebook still says in a relationship with her Ex
>she hated her ex but still kept it
>don't remember why but she told me why she never removed it, anyways
>after a month of dating she changes her relationship status to single on Facebook and we become a couple
>keep it single for a few months so people don't think she jumped on to another guy(me) immediately
>we have a mutual breakup the other day
>she changes the relationship status to single the same day
I dono know why but for some reason this hurts really badly
>met a guy about a year ago
>became really good friends, soon started to get feelings for each other
>date for a few weeks (on and off)
>when i was angry all he did was stop talking to me
>ended everything this year, i still see him everyday
>we both are unhappy but i guess nothing can be done
I find no joy in anything
I think being spoiled by rich parents as a kid has completely ruined my life because nothing I experience anymore is special to me, whenever I do anything, even the things I like, all o think about is how bored I am and I want to do something else, when I do that other thing I think about doing the thing I was doing but was so boring that I did this thing
I don't appreciate fucking anything, not even my girlfriend, and that's why we broke up, I don't know if I wanted the break up because I felt bad for her or because I didn't want to be with her anymore, but now I feel bad for me and I don't know if want her back or not but I wish it wasn't so easy for her to break up, selfish as it may sound, but even if we got back together it would probably not take 2 weeks before I lost interest again, I'm a piece of shit
Little sister is like a daughter to me. Shitty parents so she spends most of the day with me. Seriously can't ask for anyone better. Pretty much the only person I think actually loves me. She's growing up too fast. My baby. I'm scared
>be me be 19
>got kicked out of college after a year and a half for having the sex and "sinning aganst god and myself" - literal words of the dean
>Come home, live with parents and get job at hospital using parent's connections.
>Just "saving money for school" which im not even sure if im going back.
>Spent this summer working and sleeping. went hiking and to the city like once.
Idk /b/ im not edgy, but I literally dont feel emotion over anything anymore.
I never want to do anything with the few friends i have left at my home.
I only want to be by myself in my room either sleeping, watching movies, or playing games.
idk what i should be doing /b/
Whenever my girlfriend got mad at me I'd stop talking too, I don't remember if it was that I didn't care about her problems, if it was that if I didn't listen they'd go away or if it was just me not being able to cope with her disappointed in me
Used to talk to this person i know alot buts it been like 6 months since we chatted now its just awkward eye contact everytime we bump into each other. Funny thing is im actaully really into to her. Though im 100% sure she is out of my league so i guess awkward moments is the best i will get. Its odd though i find her staring at me, it must be anger since im too socially awkward to talk to her.
>we dig our own graves
That's half a movie, buddy. You've got your setup, find a resolution. Do something new and exciting, go scuba diving, climb a mountain, just blow shit up with fireworks. The world really is a beautiful place if you know where to look.
My bird died the other day and since it was my fault my family won't let me forget it.
Some background knowledge of where my bird is located. My sister has 2 birds of her own that she doesn't let out of their cages because she doesn't bother to train (or feed) them. My bird likes to sit on top of their 6 foot cages and stay there 24/7 until he starts shrieking for me to get him (I'm usually in another room across the house where his cage is kept).
>my mom has a guest over
she is just as bitchy and dumb as my mom, so i don't expect much out of her
>she brought 2 tiny dogs
>like really small
>my mom and her want to be out 24/7 so they make me take care of the dogs
>dogs are kept inside the atrium
if you don't know what that is, it is basically a backyard in the middle of your house, like a hole in a donut
>dogs need to have water
>go out and get them more water
>dogs get inside and won't get back out
>fine, I'll clean up their mess when my mom gets home
>I don't mind cleaning up pee and poo
>dogs won't stfu
>my bird starts shrieking since he is pissed (doesn't want to go with me, just pissed)
>don't know how to deal with it
>go to sleep since they won't stfu
>dogs are still at it
>message mom and ask her what to do
>tells me in the most annoying way possible to get a piece of cheese to b8 them outside
>don't really approve since dogs shouldn't eat dairy but ok
>head over to other room
>dark as shit
>stuff all over the floor, assume it must be poop
>turn on light
>it wasn't poop, it was feathers
>feathers literally everywhere
>my bird is smack middle on the floor
>little bit of blood places
>all tail feathers ripped out
>dogs probably attacked him and he got a heart attack shortly after
>how the fuck did they get him
>they didn't get him
>my bird came fucking down from the cage
>he must of been really pissed
>I have no clue what to do so i quickly clean up the feathers and body and make a tiny coffin for my bird
>I don't want anybody to see my bird in the state he was in, that is just damn disrespectful
>clean as much as I can find
>get the dogs outside
>don't have anything against them, they didn't know
>depressed as shit though
>mom gets home, tell her the bird died of a heart attack because he came down from the cage
>leave out the mangled part because I don't want anybody to remember my bird like that, it's too disrespectful
>mom tells me I'm a tard
this isn't too far off her train of thought though since we literally have a cat that runs around the house and we don't contain her because she can't reach the bird
>she asks me why
>"I didn't think the dogs were a threat"
>she keeps asking me why
>tell her to gtfo
>her and her friend back talk me all night (right outside my door) and call me a tard
>I don't want to cry
>really feel like doing so
>next day hold a funeral for my bird
>i don't want my mom any where near me when I do it
>she would just lecture me and I can only really feel like expressing myself when alone
>bury my bird
>silenlty cry a litte
>first time crying in 3 years
>mom won't stop bullying me over it
>she doesn't realize that it was my bird in the first place
>she doesn't realize I loved my bird
>her constantly bringing it up just puts me in a depression every time
>I tell her this
>she doesn't believe me
>she is using it as a way to feel powerful over me
>idk how to look on the bright side/forget when she is constantly doing this to me
I know I probably deserve to have my bird dead but I really did care for that bird, but my mom won't let me move on. I have not clue what to do since my pleas for her to stfu about it don't work.
>Be 8 years old
>At summer camp
>Having a good time, being a kid
>Camp director pulls me into the camp office
>Mom is on the phone
>"Anon dad is dead"
>what the flying fuck
>Don't really understand the long term implications of that shit at the time but damn that sucked
>Life continues, mom takes over dad's job
>as I grow up I start picking up on just how fucked I am
>Fast forward to today
>My mom is fucking crazy, we don't get along
>I'm a young man who still wants a dad to hold them like a little kid
>Relationships don't work like that faggot
>Fucked up mind, I struggle at some shit
>I sorta don't like life sometimes, some stuff is ok
>I'll never have what I so desperately want
I always get nervous when on the brink of hooking up with a guy. Pretty scared to do it but I feel like it might be amazing. I don't fucking know.
I feel really bad when I play badly... I know stuff is my fault and it sucks. I like playing support, but I just... I know I'm not good and I just drag everyone down, it's embarrassing...
but thinking like that usually just makes me play even worse so... I don't know. I like playing bots. bots are nice.
dude play it off and maybe start throwing some games and laugh at them when they try to carry you.
start having fun with it. the girl will be impressed with you taking control of the situation and you'll go from victim to funny asshole
Oh man I've been there, not only does it keep you from wanting to play it tilts you so you always fuck up the clutch pays. Try playing alone or with only one person. Also don't be afraid to mute friends
no idea, got it here. is sad, in feels thread.
>parents have been fighting for some time
>love both of them, gave everything so I could have a good life
>love my job, work my ass off and everyone respects me for it
>get a call at the beginning of my shift
>dad is moving out right now
>cry as my coworkers try to comfort me and ask if I want to go home
>say no because that's exactly where I don't want to be
>basically a failure at life
>living at home
>aspiring writer, haven't worked on my books in months
>texting some of my marginally more successful friends extremely random things
>listening to scottish folk songs
I just feel weird
Tfw this exact situation happened with me and my crush.
She said something along the lines of
>I wish I could find a guy like you, you're nice and caring
Some stupid compliments I said
>Well you could date me :)
With the smile face too
>Yeah but I'm not into guys
3 daysish later in a group text she says she's bi.
I just wanted to hold her in my arms that's it.
>Have the woman of my dreams, but I'll never be able to marry her.
>I'll never rip a wedding dress off of her and plow her on our new bed.
>I'll never get to knock her up
>I'll never get to teach our kids how to ride a bike
>Because I'm smart enough to not try.
Pic fucking related.
I fuckin feel you anon. just want to hold her.
the worst part is she would put her head on my shoulder, grab my hand, etc. I have some like subconcious instinct to push that away. She kept it up for a year, I want her. but I can't. I can't. Just me and my fucking big house and cars and motorcycles. wanting her, knowing i could have, but also knowing i couldn't
fuck this shit.
I forget prostitution is illegal in some countries. So weird.
I don't really want to fuck someone, that's not appealing to me.
I just want to hold them and cuddle. Most of all I want someone to say 'I love you' to me.
I don't even remember the last time that happened
I know. I don't really want to fuck her. just drive around in the porsche at night, just talking. talking then holding each other, looking at the skyline.
mainly just want to hold her. and hear "i love you"
fuck me and my subliminal instincts.
My mother who was a anti materialistic rebel against society figured I'd be better living with my alcoholic abusive father who hates everything about my mom and himself, basically hating the concept of even having a son. Parents were never married so he had no legal rights with me till he went to court and got them, and my mom didn't even show up. He and I were homeless for about a year when I was 15/16 and I ended up being super depressed and tried to kill myself with the .38 special my father had found in somebody's old apartment (he was in construction work.) He found me before I did it and beat the living shit out of me and so I didn't try again. I didn't have any friends because I was always "moving" but it's not like my dad would ever let me out of his sight, even before I tried to an hero. One night I got fed up with it and hit him back, which led to him strangling 16 year old me on the floor. I guess he had a conscience though because he let me up, then I ran away. Cops picked me up and I was court ordered to go to a mental health facility because my father only told the story that I was a homocidal suicidal mental health case with anger issues. I'm 18 now and i haven't seen him since.
idk, found it here. it's not even the right one, here is the correct one.
please do, anon. i'm feelin pretty hard rn
This happened with my ex lizzy
No problemo anon
Just found it yesterday I don't really get it
I don't really like dumping pictures it's a lot of work, I just like lurking and reading them
I don't know, I just Lost interest un life
>20 y.o kissless virgin, not even hold hands
>"friends" I have at college only existe in college, never talk to them outside there
>Never go out, the only activity I have outside college is going to the gym, somehow I think that would make my life a bit better
>don't even have someone to chat to, basically all I do is watching anime and stuff at the computer
I don't know /b/ I think I just hate me
I just don't really care this week, or the week before. I've tried to, but nothing has worked. I don't know how to describe it. Loneliness and apathy have turned me into a bit of a husk.
This was from a type without thinking thread but its why im here
I really fucking miss her godammit I don't understand why it has to be this way I had a dream today and it ducked me over because it made me think that maybe I could be with her again but then my hope got crushed in my own dream and then I woke up and it was even more crushed and I just wanna see her but she is already starting to not care about meet I sit here and get drunk until im sick every chance I can because I fucking care about her so much yet she doesn't anymore
I play battlefield 1 today had enjoyment in the first time in about 4 years. That lasted 30 minutes but then I started to get angry cause the team doesn't know what they were doing and we would just get raped
The only woman I ever loved cheated on me recently. She knew how much that'd hurt me and did it anyway. I still love her and want her back, but I can't even look at her or hear her voice without getting angry. I have lost my entire life over this. I'm unemployed and living on a family member's couch. I want my life back but that's never going to happen. Part of me wants to rebuild and move on, but that part gets smaller and smaller with each day because fuck it. I need to move on but I don't want to. I try to move on but I don't know why I'm trying. There's just nothing for me.
It really isn't better to have loved and lost. If you've never been betrayed, you can still trust. I thought she was different and better than other women I've been around, and I was wrong.
>League of Legends is boring
You literally don't do anything. I can stand RTS, Mobas are structured just like LoL is boring as shit. Who cares if your not good at it the 1st time anyways. Can the shit friends of your go outside w/ out burning from sunlight? Let them meet you on your own turf I say
One day I will.
She left me with
"I loved you but I wasn't in love"
Idk if any of you guys where there a while ago when I was posting shit she said. You guys just told me to block her number, she doesn't even text me anymore or look at my snap chats, she removed all the ones she had saved, I should've screen shotted them
Keep in mind that I am in fact 16 years old and underage b&
>be me, 3rd grade
>have little to no friends
>decide to play some Halo 3
>already beat the campaign many times before, so decide to do some splitscreen
>Halo 3 splitscreen, with no friends
>literally just me pretending I was fighting somebody else
>would occasionally pick up Player 2 remote and play as them
This was also when I would sit on benches alone during recess at school and got called gay during lunch. Fucked me up for the remainder of elementary school and a little bit of middle school.
I'm surprised I didn't kill myself.
>Was a failed abortion of sorts. Mother was a whore. Ex husband beat her and threatened her, one day dragged her to the clinic to get rid of me. She ran away to her mothers and saved money. In that time my elder sister fucked up my left eye, and mother didn't pay for medical care so she could get a plain ticket so I'm practically blind in that side
>Move to US illegally
>Stay illegal until I'm 9 years old
>At this time I never knew of being illegal and her ex husband. Idk who my real father is point is. She claims its her current husband.
>Have trouble at school due to at home abuse
>This furthers the abuse
>Continues to teen years
>High school nearly done. I attempt to off myself and end up wounded. They tell mother because counselor finds out via close friend
>Get home. Mother tells m to kill myself. I try again, fail. Forces me to say I did nothing and just wanted attention
>Falsely accused of sexual harassment. Had to graduate early. Found innocent but now I'm at home
>Been nearly a year now, but The first month after that though, after I left school, I get a job interview
>On the way she tells me she never updated my green card, so I can't work until I do
>Says she will do it
>Fast forward to today
>Between now and then abuse escalates
>Bringing up the card or anything instantly turns into a confrontation or altercation
>I wake up, feed their animals, clean their house and sleep.
>Much food in house but I'm not allowed to eat most of it, or it turns into an altercation because it's "theirs"
>Supposedly I earn $30 a week from tending to the property
>But it's in form of a grocery budget. But they never get what I ask. Just a box of cereal and soda usually, because we "have food"
>Had $300 out of the $450 needed to fix card myself via my rare outings
>Fight happens over nothing when they find out. Over a mopped floor. Tv gets smashed (I now have no tv rip), all my money taken to "pay for the tv"
Why shouldn't I kill myself
I feel like I'm going to kill myself soon, I'm gonna get my license get my life together move away from my state, lose all connection from everything and just off myself. I don't have a need to keep going, I just don't have a drive and I'm done pushing
>getting called a new fag when you've been using the site for multiple years
This. If you're interested in her, let her know.
I mean, you've told us that you thought she hated you, and that she actually really likes you, but you haven't told us how you feel about her.
Whether you want to follow up and make a relationship with her or not, you can at least know that there are people who value and want you. That means a lot. Not everyone gets that kind of validation.
So /b/ want a sad story well im going to but not in green text
So i was in my freshmen year 15 yrs ago but it feels like today i had loved this grill since 3rd grade cute magnificent she was perfect as i thought i started hanging with fuck bois in 8th we would talk if you liked someone you would get made fun of i would be made fun of most cause to these people she wasnt good looking so i kinnda stopped haggin out with them i started geting close to her lets call her mk so mk would tell me everything she was abused as a kid never liked guys said i was a exception kept talkin to her she starts growin tits by the end of 8th ohhshit.jpg so 9th comes up see her aperently she hates me idek i cried silently all this time for noting 5yrs just for a "you did this" i never knew she got slight anxiety i would threten to kms for real ended up in rehab for it but yah felt like shit but hey life is life started hearing rumors about me things i only told her so i tell all the shit she told me apperently i was an asshole yah yep thats all
Anon main Wukong. Learn map awareness, minion wave management when to engage in fights, learn Wu's mechanics and honestly you'll never be made fun of again also Wu is fun asf the only reason Id ever come back to shitty league and I recommend starting wu mid, most mid laners arent expecting the dmg which allows you to cheese for early kills.
>she never liked me only as a friend
>don't talk to her anymore
>is always the first one to watch my storys
>First day of school, high school Junior.
>Throughout the day keep seeing my ex.
>Seriously stopped caring like a month after we broke up last year.
>6th Period Chamber Choir, we're in same class, it's where I met her.
>Do some teambuidling exercise due to high concentration of new people.
>Two circles of people, facing eachother, one circle rotates every half minute for everyone to get a chance to introduce themselves to as many people possible.
>Of course we're on opposing circles.
>I feel my heart freaking the fuck out as she approches.
>Shakily introduce myself to her as if we'd never met, insert joke about putting myself down with negative comments.
>Asks me "So... How's life?"
>Kind of just spasm my arm until I can make it do a weird thumb-up, afterwards say "As good as it can get."
>She just looks away, few seconds later rotate again.
>Rest of class keep glancing at her, if we ever meet eyes I just look away quickly.
>Think about her from about 2:30 (end of school) to now.
I think about suicide alot sometimes, not really as an end of the map type of thing but a glowing exit sign at a movie that's never been great but not horrible enough to make me leave
this scene from the office fucks me up.
Am k weak cause i cry am i weak cause i feel why do i come on feel threads why am i alive hmmm thoughts going through my mind
Thank you, you magnificent bastards.
Well I guess there are some more small stories I could share, I mentioned sitting alone on the benches, we'll apparently everyone noticed and knew me for that.
>be me, 7th grade middle school
>have to partner up with nigger bitch who always used to brag about her dad being a cop in elementary
>hello, what's your name?
>"Anon? Weren't you that one kid who used to sit alone at recess and watch other people having fun?"
Glad I never had to talk to that bitch again.
What if she's over me? She has a posse of friends that think I hate them because I never go out with them so they'll probably talk her out of it even if I made her consider it
I don't even know if I want her back but it was kind of out of the blue I never expected her to want to break up with me so I always figured I'd have time to cope and prepare if we ever would break up
And I honestly dunno what to do at this point
I literally just sit here on b when I'm not sleeping or cleaning.
Been a month now since my girlfriend and I broke up. I'm successful in life but so empty now. Thinking about riding my motorcycle to the private beach we use to hangout at and shooting myself. I've lurked here for so many years and I can say that there are alot of genuine people on here that care. Thank you all
Is it sad all i do is press update on feels thread all the time waiting for a response
dude are u me?
not the break-up part but everything else...
anyways, don't kys. you'll get over her, if it didn't work then she obviously wasn't worth your time. Doesn't matter who wanted it to end, either way would have been a waste.
there's not just her in the world. look for another girl, one worth what you can give her.
Alright I feel compelled to tell you guys this right here and now.
This life, this seemingly pointless existence that we participate in is meant to be the shittiest thing we can possibly imagine. Life is meant to beat you to the ground and then proceed to continue kicking you in the face until you feel numb from anything. It sucks and there isnt much to change the circumstances you were given. We are all dealt a different life. Some of us have it great and feel nothing. Others have been beaten there whole life and only see suicide as the way out of this hell hole called life. But I'm here to tell you right now that there is always a way to change it. As fucking cheesey and god damn retarded as it sounds we can make this life hurt not so much. Find something you enjoy and work hard to constantly better yourself at it. If it were easy everyone would do it. It takes true determination and fucking grit to make this life enjoyable. If you think that this life has no meaning then give it meaning. Try your hardest and give it your all and when you fail pick yourself up off the ground and try again. Help others not feel as shitty as you have felt and give them a chance of happiness even if you know you can never achieve it.
My last bit of advice is to go after things you never thought off trying and trust me when I say you will be suprised by the results.
youre still young dude. work with what you got. i have a cousin who started working in grocery stores when he was about your age and worked up to be a regional manager and makes pretty decent money now.
pick up on some hobbies man, go to the gym, even try to find people into the same vidya as you in your area and who knows maybe you could meet some cool people. you can do it, godspeed anon.
I know man I just feel like I've lost my best friend. Bought her a ring, which is the kicker. She was transferring to a college far away so we decided to end it. I'm only 23 and I have everything anyone could ask for man. But God damn everything is so bland. I find myself speeding and lane splitting through traffic to feel something. I honestly want to talk to my friends and her one last time and then end it.
story time /b/ros. it's been liked previous times i posted, might as well do again
tell me if you like/want to cont.
doesn't end sad.
>be me, 3yrs out of college
>white collar stressful job that i absolutely hated, most of my friends moved away, not interested in any of the girls in my life
>daily a zx12r, pretty liberal with the throttle, but also fairly responsible (opening it up only on deserted roads, etc.)
>Anyways, in a pretty bad mental state
> get back from the bar one night after drinking heavily with friends (around 1 am)
>decide to go rip around on my zx12, and I understand and am ashamed of how drunk I was when I got on the bike
>but atm, I literally had a death wish.
>got on the bike with the full intention of blasting around at 150-200 mph on the highway and back roads
>generally stay at double the speed limit
>so depressed and fed up with my life\
>not exactly intentionally trying to die, but going to ride far beyond my abilities, and far beyond sustainable without a fatal crash.
Yah googles reCAPTCHA. Makes me cry
I want to sleep but I don't want to just think about her in the dark while I'm lying down in my empty cold bed so I'm waiting here to just... well just can't resist the sleep anymore.
>broke up with girlfriend
>worst month of recent memory
>have my own place completely away from everyone
>don't have to lie to my family and close ones what I'm up to anymore cuz I'm alone and far away so they can't really ask me anyways
>can literally spend all day doing whatever I want in town cuz I have enough money bills and food for another 5 months easily
>start doing things I like doing cuz I'm alone don't need to get a second opinion or get judged
>start meeting people that are into it too
>6 months after breakup I feel amazing, meet girl of my dream through the climbing gym I'm in
>9 months after that we flew to Denali with friends and summited Denali (6k meters for those who care)
>propose to my girlfriend at the summit, she says yes but it's so fucking cold we wait to get down again to put on the ring
Year later I feel fucking amazing anons
The trick is to trick yourself to go outside and walk around, you'll get interested in things, for me it was walking by a climbing gym and thinking "hm that looks fun" and walking inside for a practice climb
i hate people using your weakness against you. like you think they (might) be trying to help but they just insult you. i remember when i joined a new school. some things happened.
>sitting with a friend
>girls wants us to come over
>is all excited
>we go over
>she talks to friend and pretty much ignores me
>at the end says i should go see some pictures of her and her friend's holiday
>i go to the computer room
>she pretty much ignores me
>doesn't really care about me being there and acts like i'm beneath her
>we're walking home, her suggestion
>there is another guy there
>he asks me if i'm going to jerk off that night, tells me he is
>they apparently went shopping and every outfit she put on he told her she looked like a slut
>this is all really funny to her
idk, i'm a lot older now but that school just crystallised how people just want to treat you like shit and make you sit there and take it. like they say women want to treat you like shit as a strategy to see how much of a man you are but they never leave you alone. maybe i'm just being a bitch. i have other slight stories. idk
the blandness will go away. she took the bright life out of your world, that obviously wouldn't be healthy to continue with her.
please, anon, don't kys. If you must, wait 5 months of TRYING with others/friends/etc.
if you're like me, relationships are the hardest thing on the planet-everything about them from being in one to the end etc. makin paper and whatever is easy af but this shit, man...
seems like a lot of moto/b/ros here tonight
Just started the divorce process after 4 years together. My life feels empty. I was very lucky to have found her, and now I feel like I don't have the remotest chance to find another woman. I'm still as depressed as I've always been, but she's been the only part of my life worth holding on to. I'm tired of life at 27, now I'm seriously considering if I want another 60-odd years of lonely depression. I'm thinking of ending it. The future just doesn't look very appealing.
If you're literally new and your friends are making fun of you for being bad instead of teaching you how to play the fucking game, they're shitty friends at worst, or just fucking chads, at best. LoL is an easy game once you understand it, but you have to actually learn a million different tiny details and skills to get to that point.
>Cant hold a relationship because of my father.
>Always worry that I may become him and abuse my wife and children if they do come.
>Have anger issues
>Single for 8 years now with just more issues like that.
>Repelling women because I am afraid of my genes...
>Fucking why haven't I just killed myself yet?
>May just move out into the wilderness where I belong. Already do more out things than most.
>Depressed and unloved because of my fears.
>Only a couple of people know about this... 1 friend and 1 coworker.
Any questions or anything just ask away.
Yeah I'm suprised to see this many motards on here aha. I know I'm very smart and have a great job. I'll wait a little while longer before I decide what to do. Money isn't everything, it can only bring temporary happiness in most situations. I still appreciate you caring. Even though we may never meet you have made a difference in my life.
I just realized tonight that if it weren't for my wife and baby girl, I'd have killed myself by now. I think about death constantly. I don't care about life or feel anything other than the vague love I have for them. The only reason I haven't commited suicide is because I don't want to do that to my wife, and I want to see my daughter grow up.
Anything ever happens to them, I'm out.
You realize you came to the board of manchildren right? If you don't wanna be here just... fuck off? Ignore it? God forbid though, someone is encroaching upon your turd rag of a /b/.
money can't buy happiness but it's better to cry in a lamborghini.
except it gets the alcantara on the headrests too nasty, imho
anyways, money to me=freedom coupons. you can do whatever you want. once you find the girl that is worth it, take her to all the cool places in the world. do all the fun stuff you can think of. This girl wasn't the one, but there is one out there. just find her.
will do, bump with my story.
>took the bike out, turned up my earbuds to deafening levels, put on Ja Rule
>remember tearing through my town in first gear at like 11k rpm
>was completely deserted on the highway, I was low in the RPMs merging on in second gear (like 2-3k rpm), drunken grimace on my face
>went WOT, full race crouch
>remember hearing the engine begin to spool up, like it sounds like a fucking jet-engine whirling up to speed
>when this bike was made, for a brief amount of time, was the fastest production bike ever made, and it sounded like it
>tame, but with steadily increasing noise until around 6k. Then the thing just takes off like a hyena with its ass on fire
>couple of seconds later, I'm at 150 mph, fourth gear, upshifting.
>170 mph. Ja Rule is drowned out by the rush of air around my helmet as I raise my head
>I have become a part of the bike, ready to hold the throttle pinned until I died
>didn't care about my work, I didn't care about my friends, I just wanted to chase that adrenaline
>and also not go back to the monotony of my daily life.
>around this time, I blew by a police charger in the center lane
>he had seen/heard me coming, I guess, because he was probably already doing i would say 110 when I passed him
>lights come on, but I just keep it pinned, blowing by cars. One of them swings to avoid me in the same direction I swing to avoid it
>I pass within a few inches of the bumper
>It's been like 5 seconds but the red and blue lights are already pretty far back, and receding into the distance
>slow down a bit and exit the highway doing a good 100 mph on the off ramp
>rear wheel is sliding around, I still have no idea how I managed to not lose it
>I think mostly I was just committed/fearless, so my grip on the bars was light, throttle was generous
>I was ready to die if the bike wanted to throw me, and I guess thats why it didn't throw me
thanks /b/ro. my family does the best they can, and it's out of love, but it's exhausting to talk to them. They just keep asking questions. It feels like an interrogation.
My friends are great but I have trust issues and it's basically impossible for me to open up to them emotionally in any meaningful way.
I lost a best friend to suicide about 2 years ago and then girl friend of 8 years left me shortly after. Went from having a decent social life to none at all. I've resigned myself to drinking every night and just watching movies/shows/youtube/or playing games. I hate people in general more than ever, and though not depressed, I'm extremely cynical and negative about everything.
>made a few more turns to make sure I lost the charger
>as I came down from my speed high, I had like a sudden rush of what the fuck are you doing, just quit your job, don't fucking kill yourself, etc et
>there is like a weird moment when the adrenaline fades? this was like that, but also included my suicidal thoughts.
>then I remember being lost in my thoughts, still going like 25 over, and misjudging a simple turn
>last thing I remember thinking was "I want to live" and "holy shit my rear tire is now completely on gravel".
>woke up around 4 am laying on the side of the road. Ja rule was still fucking playing in my helmet
>I had a pounding headache, could tell I was still drunk, and my right leg wouldn't bend
>visor was completely road rashed, so opening my eyes was a wierd experience because for a bit I couldn't tell if my vision was fucked
>find my bike, laying about 50 yards away. I limped over to it, adrenaline beginning to kick in
>realized if I called this in, I was getting a DUI and probably also a felony evasion ticket if the cop had called me in earlier
>bike was in bad fucking shape, the instrument cluster wasn't working at all, the headlights were both smashed completely, and the fairings were toast
>key was totally bent in the ignition, but luckily it had been pushed to off, so there was a chance the battery might still be good
>turned the key on, and nothing lit up. Heart was fucking pounding. Cycled the FI button, and head it fucking prime
>I was kinda just in disbelief as it fired up, ready to take me home, bent handlebars and all
>limped it home while trying not to vomit, got home, threw up all over the ground outside from pain, and crawled inside, slept on my floor
>next day I quit my job over the phone
>went to an urgent care clinic, got fully taped up/gauzed, and the next month I left the east coast, and I will never go back
>happier now, and also won't let myself be put into a position again where my job takes over my life and destroys my sanity
>for a while I had some serious guilt about driving drunk and I'm glad I didn't hurt anyone but myself.
fin, thanks for anyone who read
Not a doctor, so I'm just speculating that you should see one to get a diagnosis, but that sounds like depression. Not to sound like a commercial but talk to a doctor and see if they think you need antidepressants or therapy. Antidepressants aren't crazy expensive, especially in lower doses, but therapy can get pricey without insurance. Either way, not a bad idea to ask. Cheers bud, hope things go better.
>be born into lower middle class family
>have two loving parents whoa are unfortunately very unorthodox because of the where they grew up/
>dad was never taught to be a man because hid dad died when he was just a kid
>worked in factories to support his family
>mom was a woman, meaning she tells you what "women really want" but is actually the complete opposite.
>I thus ended up being a complete social outcast that women laughed at
>almost failed kindergarten
>got placed in Special ED and in Speech because my mom of my ethnicity
>one day started watching anime when I was kid
>see the relationship between the two main characters and how much they cared for each other
>found out it was called love and it "really existed"
>go through elementary school as a retarded outcast who acted out for attention
>everyone would only talk to me for some sort of benefit
>too afraid to stand up for myself
>graduate elementary school
>middle school time
>stress at home starts to build
>emotionally eating ensues
>gain a shit ton of weight and get bullied for it
>constantly being bullied in middle school
>be friended some kid who apprently likes who I am
>8th grade comes
>somewhat better year, but can't really relate to anyone
>spend rest of time on /b/ and vidya
at least go on a good board
i'll hold down the fort for you anon
Hey guys so this happened over the last few days
>went to the strippers with my buddy, his gf who we'll call J and her friend who we'll call K
>having road pops in the truck and she spills hers so she sits close to me
>get home, smoke some weed and I peaced
>she messaged me on fb saying I should have stayed so we could cuddle
>next night, go to a metal show with J and K and I end up spending the night
>just cuddled her in the same bed, didn't do anything cause I'm a fuckin pussy and I haven't been laid in 3 years
>I asked her out on a date for the following weekend
>originally said yes
>the day of, she was hungover and didn't feel good
>she texted me that night and said she couldn't do this but she still wanted to talk and be friends
She just ended a fwb relationship because she was catching feelings
>that night I was texting J cause I had nobody else to talk to
>she tells me K's past relationships haven't gone so good
>so last night I texted K and said I hope some asshole didn't ruin relationships for her
>now K is mad at J for telling me about her past
I don't know what to do I feel like a dick for causing it cause they go way back. They're best friends. I've been told to leave it alone and to give K some time. But I'm so fucking lonely and I like K a lot. She's the second girl to show any interest in me in the 3 years since I split with my ex.
Had a dream i got cancer last night. Felt nice to finally felt love from friends and family again. I was sad when i woke up. I wouldn't mind having terminal cancer then just being happy until i died.
Anyone else feel this way?
>start talking to adorable Vietnamese girl for about 4 months.
>finally grow a pair and decide to ask out
>she says yes
>it starts as a cute/awkward mess
>i'm still happy though because it was funny
>i start getting more and more toxic and angry
>my best friends call me out on my shit
>it gets to the point that i distance myself from my friends
>i may or may not have been getting depressed
>i slapped my best friend since 6th grade in the face at a sleepover over my girlfriend.
>That lead into a downward spiral
>i had to move a month later
>it made everything worse
>be me a month after moving
>still dating gf
>not talking to friends
>we break up
>i shrug it off, because she was a bitch anyway
>try to talk to friends
>one ignores me and the other one doesnt give a fuck
>now im at a new place, i dont have any person to talk to, my friends hate me, etc.
Not as sad as the other posts. but IRL this is murdering me internally.
Honestly i dont care if you call me a summerfag and shit, i don't like Reddit, tumblrs for faggots and 4chan is the only safe haven i have to seem like a human
tbh if i got cancer i'd kms in some fun way like wrapping a car around a tree or slamming into a track wall at 100mph.
fun fact one of my best friends died when we were in high school, was testing a formula ford car to move up in racing, he was a cart racer. Suspension component broke in front left before a right hand curve, tore off brakes and he slammed into the wall at ~120 mph. they took him to the hospital where he was in a coma for 2 hrs then died. he was such a good guy, easy-going and ready to help anyone. then he left on that track in Italy.
>everything begins falling apart at home
>financial crisis fucks my family over bad
>dad got outsourced from job by Japanese
>he apparently wasn't even suppose to be in the U.S to begin with, his visa expired the year before
>Parents are financially retarded as well if you couldn't tell already
>mom was paying off credit with credit
>dad never heard of a Roth IRA before
>remember that the are very unorthodox and not use to the way corporate America operates
>Go through Highschool being a pathetic outcast
>Hormones make everything 100X worse
>was too afraid to masturbate because of childhood trauma
>thus sexual tension got me frustrated a lot
>Junior year comes
>fall in love for the first time in my life
>she feels the same about me
>decide I am going to change to get her
>summer of Junior year
>lurking /b/ a lot
>lose a shit tone of weight, change completely
>people don't recognize me
>women take notice
>winter formal princess even had a crush on me
>ask out a cute girl
>confidence gets destroyed
>forget how to behave like an Alpha
>everything falls apart again
>graduate high school
I wouldnt treat it. When i say terminal i mean completely terminal without a chance to live. thats what happened. I spent my last days completing things on my bucket list and telling my family / friends about it. It was so nice
>Finish High school
>Lose all of my friends
>they either backstabbed, started doing drugs, went to college out of state, or I got replaced by someone else.
>no idea what i wan't to do with my life
>all I did was drink Mountain dew blue voltage and played Battlefield 3
>do a lot of soul searching
>parents practically gave up on me, our relationship was falling apart
>had to rent house to strangers because we were poor, 2008 fucked us over pretty bad
>had no room for privacy
>family ate together, slept together, and breathed together
>wanted to kill myself at this point
>One day I had an epiphany of some sort, found hope through Christianity
>decided crying and hoping for a miracle wasn't going to do anything.
>decide to change again
>went through more heartbreak, more pain, more failure, yet something inside me persisted
>4 years later
>started my own Sole Proprietorship
>have my own business card and everything
>parents now sort of trust me due to my actions throughout the years
>All I've every dreamed of was a nice girlfriend, never asked for a perfect one, just a nice one
>over the years most of the women were just whores who just wanted to either fuck or just played a bunch of mind games with me.
>got dumped by a cunt of a girl
>went to a feel thread
>Tried to stay optimist in my misery
>was getting better after a lot of feel threads
>one day a guy asks for advice with girls on feel thread
>tell him what i can and to pursue a different life style and approach
>Told him to come back to a feel thread Sept 1st
>Sept 1st is Thursday.
>Can't wait to see how my /b/ro did
>I hope he comes back
>I hope he got a girl
>I hope he made friends
>I hope he is happier than he was
>I hope he didn't sink further in
>I hope he left the feel threads
>I hope he remembered me if things got tougher to push through.
>I hope he didn't end it before sept 1st.
>fuck dude please show up
I'm early, but it's been a while since I've been on a feel thread