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god fucking damnit /b/. ive got a possum...
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god fucking damnit /b/. ive got a possum in my house. and this motherfucker refuses to move out of the tiny little crack he's in. he's currently hiding out behind an old tv and dvd rack that are on the floor. ive left the doors open for him, i've tried not to intimidate the little guy, but he just REFUSES TO MOVE. how do i get this cunt out of my house?
>>
Have you used food
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>>701655448
yea ive got a paper bowl with some fucking cashews and some cat food in case he has nigger tastes, less than 2 feet away from him. he just doesnt seem interested
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give it a hug
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>>701655037
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just throw a rock at it and hide
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>>701655037
take a knife, duct tape to end of broom, impromtu spear the bastard in the head.
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>>701657200
>hide
ive been staying still out of its line of sight for about 30 minute intervals, and then checking to see if its in the same spot. at this point im just giving up and going the fuck to bed
>>701657302
maybe my cat will get him
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>>701657359
no throw your iron man disc at him
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>>701655037
Domesticate him, OP. Give him a name and post regular updates about his health and shit. It'd be fucking epic.
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>>701657359
don't be such a fucking cuck, get your weapon of choice and end the bastard for daring to come into your domain.
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>>701655037
Shovel works best. a few good hits and your golden.
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>>701657405
man you know i would get a live-trap for it, but i bet you my cat would get caught instead.
>>701657426
>cuck
oh god, i better harm this terrified animal to prove im a man.
>>
Is he hissing at you or making noise when you come near? It's probably scared. You could brute force em out with a broom or just let him find his way out patiently.
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>>701657731
yea he's barked (hiss/growl/flail) at me a few times, when i put down the treats, and when my cat first discovered he was there
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>>701657639
I had those before to catch fox and low and behold, some cat ended up getting caught in it. Has he moved at all?
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>>701657838
Keep your cat away for sure if you can. You never know when it comes to diseases or just the two animals fighting. It'd suck to have to pay for a wildlife person to come take it out. Do you have any really thick gauntlets around?
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>>701657838
eat his ass
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>>701657873
nah he's still back there. hasnt moved, and theres still the same amount of nut in the bowl
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>>701658066
just crawl back there and punt him to hell
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>>701657989
fuck i knew i shouldnt have put my SCA gear in storage :/ closest i have is oven mitts but frankly dude i couldnt even reach him.
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>>701658066
check this out.

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-coax-a-w-122712
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>>701657989
not all wild animals carry disease, I had a pet wild chipmunk
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>>701658158
Says pet food, apples and fish are decent baits for possum.
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>>701658293
yea but you cant make a cat wear a condom when it fucks up a possum, so better safe than sorry
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>>701655037
Why is there even a possum in your home?
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>>701658293
Yeah. Best to be safe than sorry though. Was your pet chipmunk's name Alvin?
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>>701658391
>being this dense
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>>701658298
yea, ive got cat food and cashews at the ready for him, unfortunately no apples or fish and im not going to the grocery store for this nigger tonight. maybe tomorrow omw home
>>701658391
oh i just thought i would invite it in for tea, you know be a friendly neighbor
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>>701657405
dubs name's OP's possum

my ticket is : Opossum my Possum
>>
law prohibits the intentional and malicious killing of animals, but “any animal known as dangerous to life, limb, or property” is fair game. Do God's work
>>
idk if this would work or what but ill keep looking stuff up for ya, OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz31xeSJxQ8
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Just grow a pair, grab it and flush it down the toilet
It will probably survive it
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>>701658485
Well give it some tea then
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>>701658541
Roll for Hans
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Just block off any other hiding places, stand somewhere where it will run towards the door and coax it out with a broom or something.
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>>701658633
looks like im definitely going shopping tomorrow then
>>701658755
hans it is
but surely, hans must have a last name?
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>>701658885
tried that with a roll of wrapping paper, but i dont think he knows where to go, no doors are visible from where he is. he just hunkered down and hissed
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You're fucked OP squatter's rights. That hairy little bitch got you by the balls. Just accept it. Hell, make friends with it. You're gonna have to live with him until his life ceases. Just designate that room the "possum room"
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>>701659020
fuck its my living room....
er
hans' living room
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>>701658921
Hitler
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>>701655037
1. Buy lot of balloons
2. Sedate the possum. U can use any sweet drink mixed with alcool
3. NEW 4CHAN SPACE PROGRAM
4. Post results
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>>701659088
LOL
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Fuckin shoot it. No gun, then stab it. Then fuck it for trips.
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>>701659100
rolling for this
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>>701659100
Roll
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>>701658921
Name it Kim.
Kim Possumle.
Do it.
Please.
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>>701655037
Move the fucking TV and fucking DVD rack, chase him out with a water pistol.
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>>701655448
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>>701659204
sorry bro its already Hans Hitler
>>701659212
this is a CRT from the 90s, im gonna do everything else before i try to move that bitch
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Ultimate autist here:

Get a bunch of stuff you can form a line with (books, laundry hamper, boxes, etc. and create a path leading from the possum to the back door. Line them up so that the possum can't sneak out the sides. Then just push him through the maze with a stick until he's outside your house.

Flawless.
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>>701659212
It'd probably run and hide in some other pain-in-the-ass crevice.

I'm starting to think the best thing to do is allow it access to outside and hope it just leaves on it's own.

>inb4 more possums come in and start spawning
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just accept it as your pet and buy a cage for it and try to lead it in using >>701659266's method
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>>701655037
You scared of it?

Just grab the fucker and put it outside, pussy boy

Wear gloves if you're scared of your soft little hands getting scratched, faggot
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>>701659251
If it already Hans Hilter at least draw him some proper mustache before the space program. We need it.
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>>701659349
>t. edgy 12 year old
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>>701659327
yea thats what the internet recommends, just let the dude wander out on his own. its been 3 hours
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Put food on the end of a fishing pole and stand outside. Reel it in and hopefully the fucker leaves. I'm assuming you're in the south so I'm sure you have a fishing pole.
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>>701659349
Ever saved a cat from a tree? It claws the fuck out of your face before anything else. Ever tried to "grab" a wild animal?

Another keyboard warrior, folks.
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>>701659327
So squirt it.

Or just pick the fucker up and put it outside like a man
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>>701658983
Give him a decent prod with something more sturdy. If you have a dark cardboard box or something similar put that on one end of the DVD rack or whatever it is. If you piss it off enough it will run for somewhere else to hide.

Piss it off enough and it will move. I got an echidna off a carpet floor in an office using this method. If you know what their claws are like coupled with the spines. There was no way I was lifting that fucker off the floor or moving it anywhere.
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>>701657359
bruh that creature will royally fuck your cat up.

man the fuck up you flapping vagina.
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>>701655037
Stomp his fucking brains out is how.
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Get a broom or some shit and capture it in a cage, and be the first member of the /b/ space program to send a Possum up into space.

That'll teach the fucker.
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>>701659421
Get a fucking hessian sack, throw it at the little fuck, and pick it up that way if you're scared of breaking a nail princess
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>>701659501
If dubs, this.
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>>701659565
REROLL
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>>701659531
Yeah let me go fashion a hessian sack out of the contents of my asshole.

I'm trying to get a possum out of my house, not imitate fucking bear grylls.
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>>701655037
I call him The Awesome Possum
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>>701659629
Slice your penis off and call yourself Caitlyn, you have no balls
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Beat it with a sowwy stick or put poison in it's sketti.
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>>701659629
just keep the little shit in a cage and keep it as a pet
It's going to come back to your home anyway so why even bother
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You won't coax it out with food. It won't be looking for food until it feels safe. With anon around and the cat. It won't feel safe.
Also all these heroes saying 'just pick it up you pussy' obv never dealt with a wild animal before. Those things will bite, and bite fucking hard.
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>>701659724
bruce still has his penis and balls though.
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>>701658031
Have it eat your ass
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Put some gardening gloves on, pick it up and throw it out the front door

You're seriously scared of a fucking possum?
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>>701655037
Make a path for him to an exit, block off and turns so he only has one way to go. Get behind him and let off an air horn, that fucker will run like hell.
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alright, ive got a box here, i doubt it will be enough to actually trap him but i may be able to get him if he settles down inside.
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>>701659838
His actually work.

Faggot princess who is scared of a fucking possum, has no working balls.
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>>701659754
Ignore this faggot OP, do this.>>701659501

Only you can save this from being a cringe thread about some faggot who was too much of a bitch to pick up and throw out a fucking animal.
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>>701655037
Post more extended photo, maybe will find safe solution (if you dont like the space program one...)
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>>701659951
Found the underage b^

What does pointlessly calling people a "pussy" and shit even accomplish for you? It's not clever. It's not enticing. It's fucking retarded.

Pic related, it's you
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>>701659932
You leaving it standing up or lying it on it's side?
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>>701659251
So you can't lift a TV and are scared of a possum? Buy a dress, you aren't a man
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>>701660148
lying on its side, the picture is oddly rotated, but the bowl tells you which was is down
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>>701660202
Gotcha. Has he moved at all yet?
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>>701655037
sprinkle ammonia around the place. It smells like the male possum scent glands and they freak the fuck out and escape.

do not stand between it and the nearest exit though fam
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>>701659932
Take the fucking food out of the box. Put it on its side. Making sure it is dark. Put a blanket over the top half of the entrance so it looks like it's a fucking dark hidey cosy place to hide. Then start poking the fuck out of it towards the box like you're sticking your cock in Katy Perry. Once its inside the box cover the box with the blanket. Hold tight (because it will flail like all shit) and pick up the box and take it outside. Close door to house and release. Fucking GG
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It's simple: Rev up big ass speakers and blast metal at full volume. The little faggot will be so scared that it either falls into shock and you can pick it up and toss it outside or will run for it's life.
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>>701660058
Watch out, possum will get ya
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>>701660240
no i think hans has settled in for the long haul.
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>>701660294
Kek do this OP post results
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>>701660202
That wont work, before you can pick it up he will be again under the tv... u need a bigger box, a sack or a net... something u can rapidly pick up when Hans is inside.
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Finally an interesting thread
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>>701655037
fire a weapon in his general direction preferably at his forehead
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Just get a water pistol, fill it with piss, unplug your TV that's too heavy to move, squirt the little beast while the front door's open and resign from manhood you fucking wuss
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>>701660294
THIS. Could actually be good. Traumatize Hans than pick it up while he's playing dead.
>>
Hans Hitler and The Living Room Escapade
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maybe you guys dont understand the position this guy is in, i cannot get behind him. if he's still here tomorrow, i'll consider rearranging my living room
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Do you have a crossbow?
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OP is always a faggot but also a fucking girly poof

Scared of a possum kek
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>>701660535
Movie will never be as good as the book
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>>701660585
oh my god now that you brought it up yes of course i do, right above my machete and flamethrower. let me just bust it out
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>>701655037
>blah blah blah blah

All I heard was:

>pic of my new pet possum
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>>701660579
>harry potter and the goblet of fire.
Shit man, throw those old ass dvd's away, go digital already.
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>>701660579
Hope he rips your fucking throat out while you sleep, nancy boy
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These things are fucking terrifying
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>>701660579
do NOT go to sleep with that fucker in your house. you will regret it
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>>701660672
if he does he deserves the XP
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>>701660672
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>>701660713
well its a good thing i have caffeine, and video games i guess.
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We need to start embracing being at the top of the food chain, faggots.

I want OP to win here. No way a rodent is outsmarting a fucking human.
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>>701660579
Man is that the fucking LABYRINT BOARDGAME? Awesome. Put some childhood on that board.
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>>701660765
you got a broom stick? jab it in the fucking head repeatedly and itll pass out
then toss it out
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Got any hunting supplies in your house?

Worse case scenario you could slaughter the little shit and just clean up the mess.
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>>701660805
labyrinth is the shit, looking forward to playing it with my nephew in a few years
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>>701660765
1. Capture hans
2. Take caffeine pills grind them down and put them his into food.
3. Release super pissed of hans in neighbors house.
4. ???
5. profit
>>
>>701660658
I've got DVDs in my house, too. Idk what some of you faggots would do with yourselves without the internet.
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>>701660579
Jesus. Just start moving the junk out of the way mate.
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>>701660853
So fuckin epic game bro
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Call animal control before he barfs all over your carpet.
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Just had the same problem a while ago... i pierced that big rat chest with a knife tied to a stick just enough for make that sick bitch run over the basement... my cat did the rest.
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DIY possum trap. I would do the door otherwise though - if you've got some time to blast, a little bit of wood and can saw / drill a few holes you might just catch yourself a life possum soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIARPGGcylw
>>
shit on him
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>>701661051
Come on, Animal Control its an unfunny solution. Selfmade solutions are funnier
>>
>>701661104
what the fuck did you even just say
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>>701661148
Agreed

Epic thread needs moar originality. Everybody develop your most autistic ideas and post 'em
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>>701661230
No u
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>>701661230
Thats the mood!
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OP doesn't own a gun? Shoot him with small caliber to minimize damage to your floor/wall... even a 9mm would kill it in 1-2 shots at that distance

wear something on your ears because the discharge will be loud as fuck inside your house
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>>701661178
He's attempting to say:

"I penetrated the slave with my spear. It was enough to make that bitch attempt to escape my basement; but there is no escape. My pussy did the rest."
>>
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You really should call Animal Control and let the professionals handle it. Ole chap.
>>
>>701660528
Would smoking it out be a practical alternative? Use a tube to pipe some thick smoke behind it, and it's going to prefer a place where there is less smoke.
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>>701661389
Not everywhere is "Burgertown, Murica, faggot
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Just adopt him, OP
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>>701661447
at least in murrica we know how to handle a rodent without shitting our pants or calling animal control
>>
I hear there are people whose jobs are to remove live animals from one's property
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>>701661389
Its not fucking Vietnam man. Its just a possum. Be quiet.
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>>701661538
Them shits come back unless you release it like 50 miles away, tho

better to just shoot it

cleaner that way, ironically
>>
Why haven't you called animal control or something like that yet?
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>>701661518
Also typical of americans to turn to authority to solve a problem as simple as a small wild animal in your house. Can't you people take care of yourselves?
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>>701661538
Thats the boring peoples solution.
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>>701661596
>simple

If it were so simple, OP would have gotten the damn thing out by now and we wouldn't be sitting here shitposting, would we faggot?
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>>701661594
its just a possum, im not in any danger unless i do something stupid
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>>701661117
something like this - if you hold onto the thread you don't even need to be that good at building shit
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>>701661645
Touche, you cuckolding beta faggot shitlord
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>>701661678
99% chance this possum has rabies and you're gonna die
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>>701661683
I'm laughing but this shit is actually feasible
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>>701661683
>filename
>>
>>701661596
Fuck America I'm American.
HANDEGG BLERGYBLARGH GUNS OBAMA HUSSEIN TWINKIES
>>
>>701661683
dude thats the shit right there. i bet i could make that with cardboard
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>>701661518
That's why murricans have reality TV shows of animal removal from fellow murricans property.
>>
>>701661432
Don't use crack

I think you've had enough already
>>
now taking bets on which badass possum move this possum uses to incapacitate our dear OP and slowly eat his eyeballs
>>
>>701661718
http://www.wildlife-removal.com/possumrabies.html
>All mammals can carry rabies. However, it's actually very rare for possums to carry the disease. This is party because opossums have a slightly below average body temperature, and the rabies virus can't thrive at this lower temp.
>However, it's actually very rare for possums to carry the disease.
>very rare
>>
>>701661757
fucking do it post results
>>
>>701661718
Man you know that rabies can be prevented and easily cured, dont you?
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>>701661838
So he doesn't need to wear a condom?
>>
>>701655037
Gas him like a jew
>>
>>701661838
ya, see, that article is not referencing this particular breed of murrican opossum tho - this breed survives on a diet of 100% bath salts, knows karate and has a 100% chance of carrying rabies
>>
>>701661917
No he doesnt
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>>701661836
I'll put a fiver down on "Possum waits for OP to fall asleep. This is a grave decision for OP. Hans proceeds to chloroform OP for good measure, then rapidly penetrates him. Once the possum has had his way, and OP none the wiser, Hans scurries back to his newfound nest behind the TV stand. He has done his job and has spread his seed. For now, he must rest..."
>>
Do space program!
>>
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Princess is scared of this... what a faggot
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>>701661971
>this breed survives on a diet of 100% bath salts, knows karate and has a 100% chance of carrying rabies
>>
>>701661999
Trips confirm
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>>701661999
Trips don't lie, OP

Pic related for reference for newfaggots
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>>701662001
Our possums ain't Bruces up here
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>>701661971
>>
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put a knife on of a stick and poke it, poke it to death!
>>
>>701662102
That's a possum.

You guys did have Three Mile Island there though, what are you dealing with?
>>
>>701661389
Need shotgun. Blast through the wall.
Explosions or fire work.
Overkill is illusion.
>>
Life threatening scary marsupial thread

Pic related
>>
>>701655037

There is no hope for you kids. Just shoot the fucker and throw it's corpse in the woods. It's a much better death than the one that it would have naturally.
Oh, that's right you little bitches think happy tree friends is real.
>>
Is Australia up? They can help.
>>
>>701662389
>>
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Could be worse, OP
>>
You're a cat owner, of course you're helpess.
>>
>>701662389
>>701662527
Jesus Christ, anon, get it together
>>
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>>701662300
You call that a knife? This is a knife.
And it will regurgitate nasty death vomit if you corner it.
>>
>>701655037
You have firecrackers lying around? Use it, its very effective for flushing out critters.
>>
Use a hammer
>>
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>>701662471
Australia is laughing their ass off

Scared of a fucking possum ffs
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpKN3UX-HH0
>>
You could make it fuck you cuck
>>
If you're going to kill Hans, at least fucking make his legacy worth something. Boil the little fucker and eat him.
>>
>>701662562
There are no scary marsupials

A platypus can kill you but why be scared?
>>
GODDAMMIT. SPACE. PROGRAM.
>>
>>701655037
,jpg

> Good one
>>
OP is a faggot
>>
How to get rid of an animal in your house
>Get a stick
>Open all doors and windows
>Hit the fucker with the stick
>Repeat til he gets outta your house
>>
>>701655037
Shine a flashlight in his eyes, he'll freeze up.
>>
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>>701659266
>>
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alright guys, im gonna give this a shot. wish me luck
>>
Just fucking kill it, you redditfag
>>
>>701663110
Wat
>>
>>701663110
The hell is this? U cant close it if Hans is inside! Dont do it
>>
>>701663110
Godspeed, OP you magnificent bastard
>>
>>701663172
thats the trap based on >>701661683
now all i have here is cardboard, so im having it where i pull the flap from the bottom to the ceiling.
>>701663254
i know it isnt obvious, but theres about a foot of space in the back, and the ramp isnt all the way to the bottom, so he will step over it and down
>>
Get rekt with your throat ripped out OP you fucking nonce
>>
>>701663321
Good luck then!
>>
Let it fuck you
>>
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>>701663321
ohhhh boyyyy
>>
8/29/16 The Day Hans Hitler possum extraordinare held a /b/ tard hostage.
>>
if anything legendary happens, include me in the screencap
>>
Someone archive this
>>
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took a couple pictures, not sure which one this is but mission success! he is in the box! getting more pictures in a moment
>>
>>701663766
my nigga
>>
>>701663766
NOW SPACE PROGRAM
>>
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>>701663766
SO FAST?
>>
>>701663766
mission accomplished boys
>>
>>701663766
Hans is ugly
>>
>>701663766
nice work, OP
>>
SPACE
P
A
C
E
>>
>>701663766
So put the poor bugger outside

Or train him as a pet
>>
>>701655037
Opossums are docile. Just grab him by the tail and you can remove him. He won't bite you.
>trapper fag reporting
>>
Hans is ugly
>>
And now space program! We deserve this! Hans deserves this!
>>
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and there he is ladies and gents. Hans Hitler
>>
>>701664096

That's a cat...I should know, I got google.
>>
>>701664096
Majestic.
>>
now im sorry guys, i cant space program, i dont actually have any helium this was a box from when i worked at toys r us. however, im taking suggestions. i will not harm the poor guy, and he will eventually be released back into the wild. anything (within reason) you guys want to see first?
>>
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Fuck you faggots who are still demanding a space program!
That's already BEEEN HERE and this board is about BEING RANDOM godfucking shit!
You are the true cancer of /b/ with your serious lack of creativity and imagination.
>>
>>701664096
You gotta keep him now, OP
>>
Release him into a closed off space with your cat. Battle Royale
>>
>>701664096
rolling for space program
>>
Cum on it. no harm done
>>
i had to resize this, may have gone overboard. this is how i got him in the box, just scopped the poor bastard in. once he realized there was no getting away he actually went sort of peacefully
>>
>>701664345
im fucking amazing at this.
>>
>>701655037
Shoot the bastard. The only good possum is a dead possum
>>
>>701664174
Man. Think about it. Flying possum. What the hell is wrong with you?
>>
>>701655037
Im gonna go ahead and guess theres a katana somewhere in your house....go check next to your fedora....start stabbing the fuck out of that piece of shit
>>
>>701655037
Probably been posted before, but:
- Lock your cat out of the room the possum is in
- Open a door
- Go to bed, he'll be gone by morning.
The more you try and force it out, the more its going to wedge itself in there and piss/shit all over your stuff. Soon as its quiet and dark he will try and escape.
>>
Hans deserves a proper bath after this harrowing adventure.
>>
>>701664345
win as fuck, OP

maybe you should quit your job and become a trapper
>>
Try to pet him. With your dick. But really touch him do it bitch!
>>
>>701664332
this
>>
>>701659100
dubs have spoken
>>
>>701664345
>went sort of peacefully
in possum language: moderate rampage while screaming for satan personally
>>
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Op Here, i have killed it with penis.
>>
>>701664567
i dont think he was playing dead cause he scrambled inside the box, but he hasnt moved since i put the box down
>>
>>701664158
Oh thats a pity... if you grab it in the backneck like a cat, does he stay calm like cats do or does he go un a rampage?
Also give him some proper hat.
>>
>>701659932
Is that the box for your helium exit bag?
>>
>>701664514
Sounds nice.
>>
Use a mortar to bring him back into the wild
If you don't have one build one
>>
>>701664630
What're ya gonna do with em, OP?
>>
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>>701664749
yes, this brand contains oxygen.

but here you go guys, a better picture for you
>>
tie him to a fan and post a video
>>
>>701664877
Hans looks pretty chilled out. Maybe he's starting to like you.
>>
>>701664804
probably just gonna put him back outside not alot else i can do with a possum with what i have atm.
>>701664787
i cant build a mortar out of cardboard
>>
KILL IT WITH FIRE OP!.
>>
Lil guys kinda cute. You should keep him. Buy em a moderately sized cage and domesticate that lil shit
>>
>>701664982
Steal one from your local military base
>>
>>701664982
a) slaughter and eat
b) buy cage, keep Hans as pet
c) ????
d) space program
>>
>>701662471
STRAYA!!!
>>
1. Become supreme scientist
2. Find a lethal virus
3. Release it into the world
4. Be the only one knowing the cure
5. Dominate tha world.
6. Make Hans Emperor of Earth
7. Make some slaves pet it like crazy and call him "his highness"
>>
Rename him to faggotdick butteater
>>
Make him ramen
>>
>starve hans for a couple days and eat nothing but protein-rich food
>take a shit and feed it to hans
>possum becomes poosum
>>
>>701659100
Do it op u fucking fag
>>
>>701661230
Mine was move trash out of way, subdue and capture possum, contribute to space program.
>>
alright guys im releasing him, i'll come back with a pic of whatever happens in a moment
>>
>>701665751
Rocket possum would have been awesome...
>>
>>701665786
Too early. Im not ready for this
>>
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I'm thinking something along the lines:
>feed hans some sleeping meds (note his kidneys are fucking tiny)
>make is fur red, spray "king" on one side and "hans" on the other in golden letters
>add a little white cape that is fixed arround a small necklace (make it easily breakable in case he's too pissed off about it)
>glue a little plastic crow (obviously golden) onto his hair on his head
>wait till he wakes up and release him in a funny place
>>
>>701665786
DO NOT RELEASE HIM
THIS IS A GOVERNMENT POSSUM
IT IS IMPERATIVE THIS POSSUM BE DELIVERED TO H.R.C. IN WASHINGTON D.C. BY 5:00AM TOMORROW
IF THIS POSSUM IS NOT DELIVERED
ATTACK!!!!!!!!
>>
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>>701663766
NOW SPACE PROGRAM
>>
>>701664158
Get some helium, at the store or something, TRIPS DEMANDS SPACE PROGRAM.
>>
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pretty fucking boring, he didnt leave the box. so i set it on the ground outside, and will let him do his thing. i'll check back on him in a few hours.he did shit a few times in the box though, he must have been terrified
>>
At least give Hans Hitler a name tag and a crown so the other possums know their place. Hans Hitler for life.
>>
>>701665946
epic
>>
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>>701666126
Well done,. OP

Epic thread and humane treatment of animals. Two feats rarely attained by your average faggot anon.

Worth archiving imo
>>
>>701665946
Man. Thank you for this.
>>
>>701665946
or pic related?
>>
Respect for not listening to these assholes in the thread, OP. Well handled.
>>
>>701666126
Sad for not space progaming, but happy for Hans. Absolutely the best thread in months.
>>
what a horrible looking crateur u should just kill it looks like a half-albino plague rat 2/10 for being so nice to it feeding it sugary dicks
>>
Hey
>>
I didnt think you would do this
>>
A happy ending for Hans. Godspeed, Hans!
>>
Message me with email when you back email is [email protected]
>>
did someone screencap this shit?
>>
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>>701666126

A happy ending.
>>
>>701659841
Shove possum up ass. Feel it flailing against your prostate. Have best orgasm of life.
>>
>>701664324
roll
>>
Fuck you man, Hans wanted to go to space and become famous
>>
hans has left the box. i hope he does well out there.
>>
>>701655037
combine a lighter with a can of flammable aerosol, aim at possom, apply fire to aerosol as it leaves the can, possom becomes ashes
>>
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Someone screencap this thread. Include the space program requests.
>>
>>701658158

>SCA gear

i'd imagine a man like you wouldnt be such a fucking scardey cat
>>
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>>701659100
Dubs wills this.
>>
Love thy possum-bro!!

They are beneficial and don't carry rabies!

Be gentle with him, little guy is just lost :(
>>
You could have just put it in a bag like a pillow case or some shit and let go out side once you had it in a box
>>
Long live Hans Hitler. He should be our mascot
>>
>>701655037
>he just REFUSES TO MOVE
It's probably rabid you stupid cuck. Get a can of your wife's boyfriend's deodorant spray and a lighter, use it as a flamethrower. Do you know how painful rabies treatment is?
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