>be 16, sophomore in high school >fucking adorable girl with blue hair, 9/10 transfers in >outofmyleague.jpg >she always hangs out with these fucking chad types. their culture is so cringy >become acquainted with her best friend >she shares a couple classes with me >have this one "girlfriend" but never got past second base really. >entire relationship felt uncomfortable >she constantly trying to keep me, but i don't know what to do >put up with it for a few months like a beta >go to my best friends 16th birthday party >the blue haired girl is there, but her hair is now this beautiful red/brunette color >her and some guys go back to her house and steal alcohol, bring it back to the party >she starts drinking >fuckinghammered.jpg >she hangs off of me the entire party because she can't even walk >stay with her because i dont want some chad to take advantage of her >she falls asleep on me >later friends message me saying she likes me >kind of got the idea
>Be me in mid-late twenties. >Pretty stable life. Steady job and relationship. >Madly in love for 7 years, and living together. >Life picks up. >Both work. She also goes to school part-time. >Start feeling lonely. >Haven't talked to her in weeks it seems. >Figure just busy.
>Life goes on. >Find a moment to finally spend time with her. >Doesn't want to do anything. >Becomes difficult to speak with her. >She doesn't want to, or isn't around. >Sleeps all the time it seems.
>Now been months. >Nothing but small talk. >Look for other outlets. People, friends- >mfw I haven't been close with anyone but her. >alone.jpg
>A FEW DAYS LATER >Girl at work starts talking to me. (9/10) >I'm management, so keep it professional. >Stick to small talk, itching to share troubles. >HR fraternization rules keep you safe anyway. >Now lonely, can only small-talk.
>It has now been a year. >mfw realize I haven't had sex in two years. >GF still distant. >Been checking for signs of disloyalty. >Seemslegit.gif >How is she not cheating? I don't understand!? >Workgirl started dropping hints. >She wants the D. >Fighting every fiber not to cheat. >Lust disguised as romance and sex. >Now lonely, socially limited, and romantically crippled.
>>701609079 >got to become really good friends with her >shes into metal and gaming >help her out with school since she's having trouble >she helps me out with depression issues >we find respect for eachother, and help each other out with our flaws and insecurities >she wants to quit smoking >agree to help out however I can. >we connect more and more and start dating >eventually lost my virginity to this girl >life could not be better >after about a year of being together, she brings up long term plans >begin putting effort in school again >really want to start a life with each other >decide i want to devote my life to being with this girl >summer break comes >she goes to alabama because her parents are divorced >chat almost every day over skype >I'm noticeably happier >stopped being an edgy shit >repaired relationships with my brother and parents that sort of soured as I became a teen
So Me and my girlfriend of four years have been on a break for a few months now. In the beggining it was a mutual decision because she needed space from me with all the stress from her family/college she'd been dealing with and with the cosntant issue of me bothering her and accusing her of cheating or trying to find someone better. I don't know why I thought she would ever but I guess I started to feel she was getting tired of us and wanted to be on her own and enjoy her youth. We did fall in love young. Anyway the break ended up dragging out longer than I thought. We still would see eachother here and there and do dates but most of the time we weren't physically together while I had work and she was spending time with her friends and stuff. A few times I'd try to open up on how I'm feeling snd even asked what she wants of us. She told me flat out that she wants to work things out but isn't really sure what she wants. I called her out and bitched at her about a ton of stuff and opened up but we always just end up fighting and I make things worse. We fought a few days before our anniversary this time through text while she was on vacation with her family. This was last saturday now. On Wednesday I tried to call her but being that she was still on her trip my calls weren't going (my shitty plan doesn't cover log distance calls). So i texted her a long ass message wishing her happy four years and i hope she was enjoying her trip. We havent really spoken to eachother too much since. Last night she said shell talk to me when she gets the chance.
About an hour ago she said that she agrees that we talk in person about us. In a few days. I'm so anxious about it cause idk what's going to be said. It probably won't be positive.
>I'm in your shoes now 2yr relationship I'm in a perpetual state of accusing my girlfriend of cheating and I'm always telling her to find better. We had a rough start on our relationship I found texts she hid in here phone in a hidden file claiming it was just a guy friend but overall the trust I did have is slowly going away almost non existent I'm tired of worrying about this and that what keeps me going is our child
>ever since i was a kid people acted like I am the class clown >never thought much of it really, just always acting like nothing matters, never thinking of important matters in depth >it made me look like the cool guy in school, and it encouraged me to keep acting like this >even had some false rumors about me smoking weed with a girl at school >used to be very popular with girls since I have a baby face and because I hang out with girls all the time >then my parents broke up, dad moved, I changed school 3-4times >mother jumped from guy to guy, father never got any other girlfriend >never thought much of it back then, but my mind was starting to get fucked up >I now realize that I never actually cared about anything that is important in my life >I now realize that my father probably felt guilty, he saw the difference it did to me, and I didn't >I just recently realized about all this >I use to keep acting like nothing mattered to me, as if I had no emotions, telling myself I'm having a punk ideology, which is normal >actually still had a pretty decent kid life, even tough it was senseless >I went out with almost all the girls in primary school, even tough I wasn't trying to figure out what was happening >In my mind girlfriends were trophies, to show the other guys I was desirable. >I heard later the girls were just doing a competition to go out with the most guys >I used to think everything was so easy, very good at school without studying, getting girls, there's really no reason to care about anything >spent almost all of my nights playing hockey outside aimlessly, empty-minded >started highshcool >still the school clown but with bad acne now (not much red dots, more like black dots and oily skin)
>>701609675 okay continuing. its downhill from here. >she comes home from alabama a little bit before end of summer break >has birthday party a few days later >bought her patches and stuff because she wanted to make a battle vest, see pic related >at the party she's acting a little strange >more or less avoids me the entire time >came up to her room where she was hanging out with a couple of people. >notice one of the girls giving her cigarettes as a "birthday present" >crushed because I thought I was helping her get over her addiction >mention that I thought she was quitting >she gives me a face and tells me to shut up >thatsstrange.rar >school starts >at this point in time, we had been spending all of our free time together. I began to miss my alone time, but it was still well worth it. >she becomes friends with a total hoe of a girl >stops talking to her old best friend almost entirely >she seems to be acting a little cold during our time together >one night she messages me over facebook >"anon, can i talk to you please?"
>everyone was telling me it's ok, that it's gonna leave by itself when I grow up so I never cared about it and never done anything about it >now I kind of feel bad that my friends and family never tried to help me with my acne problems, since now I still have acne and its harder to get rid of >everybody was saying I'm doing drugs all the time but I wasn't >everybody was saying i looked confused or high, looked down on me, laughed at me (just kidding tough) >fuck it, I'll just do drugs then, since that’s what everybody expects me to do >I really start getting confused about all my relationships, always high as fuck on strong weed >I could have gone out with plenty of girls but I was too stupid and insecure to act >used to jerk off with male friends so I'm a bit confused about my sexuality >start feeling very unmanly, not virile at all but people are expecting me to act like the cool punk guy who doesn’t afraid of anything so I keep fulfilling my role >started to feel depressed so I failed at school and had to start a year over, even tough I was pretty smart and in advanced class >fuck that society shit I'm gonna do some hardcore drugs instead >start tripping randomly with new friends for 2 years, leaving behind all my past friends >got tired of the friends I was tripping with, so I left them behind too, finished high school and studied to become a welder >when I started college, I understood it was way harder to fulfill my role with adults around. Was not fooling anyone. >I felt like everyone knew I was not the tough guy I pretended to be. >some false rumors again about me smoking weed before class made the professor despise me >ended up not getting my diploma and feeling too depressed to finish it, still have to pay the huge debt tough
I fall for people so easily because of my loneliness. I can't take being by myself anymore, I can't bear the thought of continuing on alone. Everyone I ever love leaves me, I've never maintained a relationship past the 2 months milestone and I don't know why. I adore my partners. I just want to be loved back just once, I want to mean something to someone
I just graduated this year, but all throughout Highschool I was a looser. Until sometime in grade 11 I never cared what other's thought. I had a few friends and I was happy enough. But in grade 11 I started to want to be popular, to be friends with the other kids, although I never did anything about it, I started to become embarrassed with my "nerd" friends. I went to school in a small town and there were only about 55 kids in my grade, the "cool" kids were the farm boys, and their friends and a bunch of girls. No one was every really bullied or excluded but there were certain friend groups. In grade 12 I started talking to the farm kids, they were mostly Swiss and I'm 3/4 German and I lived on a farm. So we had something in common. I basically spent the whole year talking to the girls and eventually was somewhat of a friend with everyone. When I walked across the stage on grad day I got one of the loudest applauses from the rest of the grade. Even though I was never invited to hangout on weekends or go to parties or really talked to more than a handful of people outside of school. I went to the grad party and got wasted. I hung out with just about everyone that night. Then that was it. School was over and just like on weekends or holidays no one bothered to message me or want to hang out at all.
>>701611546 I realized that no one really cared. Now that everyone is leaving for the cities to go to university or college I am left alone again. Due to my beliefs /pol/ack I didn't want to try to date anyone here because I am 3/4 German and I don't want to dilute my German blood anymore. I could have gotten a gf maybe but I wanted to wait for when I went to Germany for uni this October. The plan fell apart and I am likely going next year, but for now, due to my beliefs and circumstance I am stuck on a farm outside a small town which most of my classmates are leaving, this week, to go to universities and no one who wants to spend time with me. I dream of meeting a perfect qt 3.14 in my first month in Germany in school and never having these feels again. But I know that won't happen and for now I'm stuck for a year, with no gf, no f, and an ever growing depression and a need to get out, stuck with only my memories of the months prior in which I had people who I though cared about me
>>701611078 >fast forward to today, I'm 23yrs old, still got acne, even worst >a bit more muscles but I feel like my acned baby face makes me looks fucking creepy now >not a virgin thought, went out with like 2-3 girls for 1-3 months >sex was bad, always awkward, didn't feel like i was satisfying the girls, felt unmanly >smoke weed everyday, almost as soon as I'm up. hard drugs occasionally(never got hooked), trying to get out of this reality. >used to have that one best friend who used to be just like me, some fucking clown >people calling us cheech and chong, laughing loudly >now his new friends don't like me and tell him I'm probably gay, useless and miserable >I can see how he's looking at me, disgusted, my best friend. He doesn't talk to me anymore >I used to think it was cool being the stoned idiot, but now having random shitbags laugh at my miserable life is driving me crazy >been working in a metal shop as welder for 5 years now >still fulfilling the careless punk role, starting to feel depressed but meh weed makes me happy >no one respects me, even tough i do some of the best welds, everybody looks down on me >I'm never serious about anything and people think it's because I'm high >I feel like they're making fun of my mental illness, of my mental weakness >been too depressed to complete my driver license so i never got it and I have to go to work on foot most of the time >for 5 years now every time I arrive at job on foot people pity me >and just like before, everybody assumes right off the bat that I'm a no good retarded drug addict even thought I'm trying real hard to act professional, do a decent job and never get high on job >all of my friends dropped me, probably because of my dirty ass face, or maybe because I'm so unmanly and pitiful >it seems like no one notices I'm severely depressed, not even my parents
>>701611615 >haven't talk to my mother for a long time since I feel like she hates me >not shaving my manlet beard everyday because it's cutting my sensible girly skin all over the place making it look like I got even more acne >looking like some Goddamn highshcool boy at 23 >haven't had a girlfriend in over 4years because I feel like I disgust everyone >live alone, almost never going out of my app in the weekend, no one passing by to see me but my father >my job is fucking hell, getting yelled at everyday but I'm too depressed to try starting a life somewhere else >bosses probably thinks it's because I'm too drugged up to work anywhere else >I'm scared of what people will think of me all the time, even tough I'm acting like I don't give a shit >Now at night I lay down in my bed eyes wide opened, thinking about the stuff I should've cared about >at first I saw being depressed as a spiritual journey, making me enjoy and understand depressive music, books and movies. >Now I'm starting to think about what I’ll look like in 5 more years >Now I start thinking that suicide might be an option
Monday I'm gonna have to go talk to the bosses about the drug test they made me do last week. I don't know if the hard drugs I did last weekend are gonna show up. I don't know if the concentration of cannabis in my urine is gonna be enough to fire me. I don't know if all the experience I built there will be for naught. I also don't know when or how the debt I haven't paid in years is gonna show up in my life or how I'm gonna pay for my apartment without a job or welfare.
Actually I think I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide. The only option I feel available to me is to run away in another country as some punk with a backpack.
A good friend of mine that I haven't seen in a couple years and have only talked to a few times since she moved is coming in town next week. I'm happy that I get to see her again, but I have no idea how I'm gonna feel when she leaves again.
>>701611035 continuing >she mentions that she thinks there's a problem with our relationship >become a little scared. I offer to help in any way I could >she wants to try to fix relationship and I agree >still doesn't say what the problem is, whether it's me, something i'm doing, etc >one day after a little bit of an argument she completely stonewalls me for the entire day >get scared and literally cry all day trying to get ahold of her >she's not responding to me at all >this is so unlike her. we had grown accustomed to sharing everything with eachother >in a day she tears it all down >sends me a snapchat of her bitch friends smoking >again, crushed >she literally only hung out with them that day because they had drugs and cigarettes >ask her why she's doing this to me >no response >finally in the evening that day she agrees for me to come over >desperately want to talk to her about what happened >still thought we could fix this >she tries to avoid the subject >mentally flipping out but trying to remain respectful and collected >weeks go on and we hang out a little less over time >when we are together, she's just lifeless and boring >stops caring about all of her favorite things >starts to only care about makeup >seriously, makeup. Starts spending absurd amounts of money on this stuff >again crushed, i thought i was helping her get over her insecurities about how she looked
>>701610835 Thanks buddy. Its not like I want anything bad to happen it just feels like she's avoiding it cause of how I'll feel but I just want her to be honest so we don't have to pretend everything is okay when it's not.
>>701612721 almost there >it gets to the point where she just kinda uses me because i can drive >our hanging out is just me driving her to school and back >driving to fucking sephora >driving her to and from her fucking cosmetology class during fall break >the hoe girl is in that cosmo class >hoe girl does drugs, wears a shit ton of makeup, kinda looks like pic related >its starting to really hurt to be around her >sometimes when we're together she spends 3-4 hours doing fucking makeup >meanwhile I sit there sobbing because I don't know what to do >can't get her to open up to me any more >still doesn't mention what the "problem" with the relationship is >start to become depressed >not edgy like I was before. Just apathetic and sad about everything
>Be me >Have this girl in highschool AP art class >seen her in passing before and though she was cute >sit with her and her circle of friends since I barely know anyone else in the class >get sorta in said circle, but I'm still the weirdo outlier dude >really enjoy talking with first girl (let's call her S) about weird abstract games and Fallout > After a couple'a days the only other dude from said circle of friends thinks I'm cute and one day asks me out >say sure cause I'm bi and totally want a relationship >date ends up being super awkward, I realize I don't really have feelings for him >Fast forward to Art show field trip >There's a buddy system and I end up siding with S >We walk around and browse the displays, she really likes these specific realistic paintings for their colors >We sit down at one point and we talk for a bit, the subject of the date is brought up somehow and she's like "Wow, that's so nice how you two are dating" or something to that effect >Don't decide to tell her that it was a one off and play it cool >I've developed somewhat of a crush on her over the course of the year and when she said that it made me feel weird. >We go on after that and continue looking at displays and eventually go back >Year goes on, I'm still lonely but for some reason I don't decide to ask out S since I'm an autist about talking to people >Try to justify it in my head by saying she's not really my type anyway and she wouldn't go for me anyway
>>701613559 i had one too for a long time but eventually i thought of the nothingness that awaits us when we die. It kept me from doing it and is the main reason why i envy people who can actually believe in religions
>>701613811 long story short >was in a relationship with a mentally unstable girl for a year and a half >she's been in and out of abusive relationships, shitty parents, early age drug abuse, self harm, suicide attempts etc >i got her to stop drinking/smoking cigarretes >because i was good to her she got really clingy >she starts treating me like shit because she was stressed about her parents divorced and her grandma died >my depression started to worsen >attempt suicide, fails (obviously) >my depression wasn't that bad when we started dating >"you're not the same person i fell in love with" >break up with her a week later to improve mental health >she immediately starts partying/smoking weed with the potheads at school >i've been single and lonely since then
i broke up with hr 6 months ago, i just feel meaningless
>>701613858 >at some point she really bonds with MY best friend >no fucking joke >because he has weed >she said she doesn't want me to drive her to school anymore >she rides with my friend so they can just get high every day >she stops trying in school and lets her grades go in the trash >now they're together all the time >not fucking though, she apparently wasn't interested in him, as he says to me later on >i've had enough. i break it off over the phone because she wouldn't be around me physically >she cries as if she suddenly cares about the relationship still >I call her out on all her shit >she's crying and crying >okaybye.jpeg >eventually my friend texts me what the deal was >pic related
>>701615070 >mfw she asked me to help her stop smoking >mfw she made this big tumblr post about being secure and working on yourself not too long ago >mfw i thought we were mutually helping each other become better people >mfw she would tell my best friend about all these problems and not me >mfw she wanted to fix the relationship, knew what the problem was but wouldn't tell me despite me begging >mfw i felt used >mfw my best friend later admits he wants her >right after I told him i want her back and I want to fix this >mfw she is now exactly like that hoe girl >going to raves, doing trashy shit >she's less attractive now >with some NEET guy that was in jail >mfw she brags about that >mfw i will NEVER TRUST A WOMAN AGAIN.
what the fuck guys, all the greentexts only speak about relationships and stuff I came here to share my feels of complete loneliness and despair and I end up it is so bad I can't please bring me back old /b/
>>701607229 alright you fucking faggots, you have no fucking idea how easy it is to be me. while you retards waste away and nag with your pepes and your feels on an autistic random weeb forum, i get 10/10 puss and ass whenever and wherever i want, and dick if i feel like it. how does that feel, you desperate faggots
>>701616923 How do I trust someone to not 180 on me like that again? I can't be bothered to be interested with woman after such an experience. That relationship was both the apex and rock bottom of my entire life. I'm content to masturbate once in a while on 4chan at night rather than have my soul crushed like this again.
>>701612429 >Pack your shit. >Delete all social media. >Get as much money as you can, sell everything you can't take with you. >Buy a one way ticket to somewhere else, preferably another continent >Start the fuck over and dont. look. back!
>Be me >15 >Attend friends bonfire >We're all sitting around the bonfire drinking Smirnoff Ice >Notice this girl looking at me across the bonfire >Theres my que! >We start talking about school abd shit >End up dating for 6 months >One day she says... > " Anon, I think I like someone else... I'm sorry" >She dumps me for some other guy. > I go on with my life
>Fast forward to 2 weeks ago >She's been dating this guy for like 2-3 years and they break up. >Be my 23rd birthday >We meet at the bar > "Anon, do you wanna come home with me tonight? " >Oh my god is this really happening? >Go home with her >I am so happy >The morning after she takes a shower and drops me off >Before I leave she holds out her fist for a fucking fist bump > I hate everything > She only wanted to use me
I after cooking my dad's dinner this week I realized how shit his life is.
>be me five >mom goes to Honduras to visit her family and get some surgery done Since its cheaper there >dad pays her trip a gives her money for medical expenses >A couple days into her trip dad gets calls about her getting drunk and cheating >turns out she met some nigger over there who was 29 >he beat her and only wanted her jewelry and money >dad fucking caved in didn't know what to do >he bought me toys and shit to distract me from his misery and the situation >once mom got back she was different >wore lots of makeup, got drunk more often, had phone calls with people we didn't know >dad didn't divorce because he didn't want me to grow up without a mom and knew they would give her custody if the split >fast toward 2 years >mom gets dui and almost gets kidnapping charges >in her drunken blur she gave this 16 year old a ride to his house and bought hI'm cigarettes >that's where things really went to shit >she cheated on my dad 3 more times Got another dui, domestic violence after one of her drunken rages, assault charges for fighting a tattoo artist, almost another dui but the cop was nice and left her off with a warning, and then almost another dui again but the cop let her go >this all happen over 4 years >dad doesn't kick her out because of pity, she only had 500 dollars in the bank and had debt and fines >now she wants to go to dubai and meet up with some sand nigger she met on Facebook >She doesn't cook, clean, or do anything for my dad >dad final wants to kick her out >I've cooking my dad's dinner >he's 62 and works 9 hours in the sun so he can pay rent and all the bills
And that's not even the worst part, growing up his life was shit too, I'll post that if you guys want.
>>701617316 Life's a bitch. Gonna tell you what worked for me since I've been there before:
Find a nice girl And fucking tell her everything about it. About how she fucked you over and you don't think you can trust someone that easily ever again. If she's one of the good ones she'll do her part to earn that trust, anon.
>>701614787 Ah fuck it, I'll continue , it ain't that long anyway I just wanted to see if anybody'd care >Year goes on >I'm uber lonely and trying to see who I can get with, asking friends to find anyone who'd be interested in me >No luck >Go to prom >See S there with some of her other friends >it was fun talking with them all but throughout the night I was strained with seeing if I could hook up with somebody there >No luck once again >End up feeling real shitty and lonely at the end of the night as I go home >Friend tells me I should've hooked up with S there and that it was my last shot >Shrug off what he's said cause I still have myself in the delusion that she wouldn't go for me >At the end of the year I end up fuckin' the same dude I dated at a random party in the bathroom >It was nice but I still didn't really feel for him >Let him know later on that I didn't wanna lead him on, he was alright with that and wanted to keep this going as a sort of "friends with benefits" thing >He even sent me nudes >It's pretty nice but I end up still feeling lonely and craving romantic intimacy >One night go to sleep and dream about going to some sort of fair or some shit >S is there and gives me one of those "do you like me" papers and confesses her love to me >Overwhelmed with flustered feelings >Wake up >Feel like an utter dumbass and feel like shit after having that dream >Realized I did miss my chance and I can't try to message her cause I'm an autistic fuck who can't communicate worth shit and I'll just end up looking like a creep
I'm sorry if the story wasn't that coherent or was weirdly paced, but I'm just struggling to remember exact events and just generally feel like a lonely sack of shit.
I'm a fucking beta-fag who can't even get the balls to ask out a girl, while all of my friends are popular and all have girlfriends while I'm here on 4chan and listening to vaporwave. I only have like 3 REAL TRUE FRIENDS. I honestly feel like I am a waste of everyones time.
>>701617316 I guess its really your choice, man. Like i said, good, loyal women are out there, if hard to find, but if your content not to have one at all, more power to you. And if you do get with another woman, really there is no 100% Guarantee they wont decide to rip your heart out. It's just gambling that the high is going to be worth the potential fall, and that you know your partner well enough to trust them. Also sorry if the grammar is fucked, been drinking.
>Last ex was a fucking whore. >Betrayed me in every way. >Left me because I didn't trust her. >She started dating a literal cuck >I tell my new gf about this. >"What a disgusting fucking whore." >Literally vows to never be like that >keeps her word
Is this what it's like to be appreciated by a woman? It feels fucking good.
>>701618480 >Dad was born in El Salvador during the 50s >he was the bottom class, poor and worked in the milpas (industrial farm) >since he was 8 >he had didn't even have shoes until he was 13 >his dad died when he was 9 >his mom had to raise 3 kids by her self so things got even worse >lived like that for the most part >Even the shoes he got at 13 were made out of spare tires >civil war breaks out in the 80s >goes to the us >sleeps on floor and washes dishes in a friends apartment for a while >gets job in industrial farm >moves on to construction >his life picks up from there until he meets my mom.
>>701607946 Yes, but what this gif fails to realize is that I have no interest in the majority of those people, in fact many of their lives and are quite boring and shit by my standards. Things like this keep me myopic.
>>701610020 It does i do it cause i was abused as a kid thought if i spoke about feeling i would be weak i try suicide 1 out of 5 months so yah i am monitored by my mother 24/7 never dated and still a virgin im 27
OP here I had to help my brother. I'm here for all you guys as you are for me. >>701613957 Yeah that's true. I guess that's what I'm doing is just preparing for the worst. I just have this gut feeling that I'm gonna hate what's to come. And sadly im ready to accept that. There's so much better than me. Idk why I feel like i wasted her time.
I don't have any friends to talk to either. Everyone that I feel was there for me is just distant now.
>>701622346 you shouldnt overdose. if they find you and pump you your fucked. if you must do it, put a bag over your head and fill it with helium. YOu wont feel a thing and will just fall asleep withut realising and never wake.
Hey guys, I'm just stopping in to tell you guys that you're all beautiful people. Not bullshitting or anything, it's just how I feel.
I also wanted to mention that we all have some higher life purpose we want to fulfill, and if you don't know what it is yet, keep looking. There's no rush. If you do know what it is, keep working toward it. Again, there's no rush. Even if you never reach your life goals, the journey really is the best part. Nothing else will satisfy you or make you feel so alive.
If you happen to be having trouble with finding friends, this will help out too. People like to be around others that have ambition and goals. Doesn't even matter what they are, as long as you believe in them (and they don't involve rape or something like that).
Finally, don't let fear destroy your life like it's doing to me. Fear is the dumbest thing to run from. If you take the easy way out and run from fear, you're going to live a life of regret and misery. Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that can happen?". When you realize it's nothing, don't just realize it, but really GET IT. Then, take some action, because being rejected or laughed at or whatever you constantly think will happen is NOTHING compared to regret. Courage isn't the absence of fear - it's taking action despite it. It's feeling that fear inside you and working with it.
You're more powerful than you allow yourself to be.
I want to convince myself it's just some edgy phase and I'll naturally move out of it but
>When I wake up and go to bed I just think about suicide and even plan how I'd do it >I could go and have an amazing day but as soon as things slow down I end up feeling alone >I've been led on and friendzoned twice in a row now
This has been happening for months and I don't want to seek any professional help since that'd fuck over my chances in joining the Army.
im with you man. the love of my life has been drifting away from me for a couple weeks now. and i found out today that she was with another guy last night. and she kissed him. in a constant state of anxiety attacks and want to do.
>>701623168 So I just started my first year at college and things haven't been going too well. some shit came up and ive been under a lot of pressure. I talk with my gf and she helps, man I love this woman. problem is, she is still back home and I'm about 130 miles south. The thing is she travels to other countries with her team, she does tkd. We talk and I trust her, its just that when she says she is going out with friends and teammates to have a night on the town, and she sends me pics of her, I cant help but feel a little jealous, a little suspicious. I love and trust this woman with so much, things no one else knows about me. I just have this irrational fear of being cucked. I don't want to feel this way, and I know it can be potentially damaging to our relationship. its not fair to her that I feel this way so I haven't told her. I'm still under pressure and now I worry about the one love that Ive got and realize is true. I'm nearing a fraying point
im 25 and saturday im going on the first date ive been on in almost 4 years. ive only ever been in one relationship and have only slept with or even kissed one girl who i dated for 4 years. I'm scared shitless im going to fuck everything up
>>701620211 Sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my primary language.
>Be me, 15 >Cold winter evening, snowing heavily. >Parents decided to make themselves a romantic evening, going out to eat dinner etc. >Left me with lil sister, 8yo. >Love her to death. >House was cold as fuck so I decided to start a fire in the fireplace. >It takes ages for the house to warm up so I got a blanket for me and my sis. >Lil sis wanted to watch a movie with me. >Didn't really feel like it it, but couldn't say no to her big blue puppy eyes. >About halfway into the movie when she decides to cuddle up against me because it was still cold as fuck.
Later realized my stupid ass left the goddamn window open...
>She falls asleep a few minutes later, her head on my shoulder. >Fall asleep myself after some time. >Wake up to phone ringing. >My parents had a car accident while driving home.
Imagine a car going at 60mp/h. Now imagine the car starting to drift sideways because the road was covered in ice. Now imagine what happens to everyone inside the car when this very car wraps itself around a tree.
>Go completely numb the second I hear it. >Drop the phone on the ground. >Sister woke up from the bang, started shaking me because i wasn't responding to her asking whats wrong. >After a minute or so, look at her with tear-filled eyes. >Tell her. >She starts sobbing uncontrollably, pounding against my chest and calling me a liar. >I just sit there and take it for what seemed like an eternity. >Hug her so tight that I was scared of crushing her. >We sit there bawling uncontrollably. >Eventually fall asleep still holding each other.
FF a few weeks
Uncle took us in, he was the only relative we had.
He was a drunk piece of shit. Would constantly make us do shit for him. If we didn't do something the way he wanted it, he smacked the ever living shit out of us.
>>701617113 Feels like your life is as empty as ours and you're just making up for it by fucking useless hos. Kinda like putting duct tape on a glass that's broken. Hope you don't end up in the grasp of a noose sooner then us anon.
>Every girlfriend has been pretty toxic >Have one girlfriend who is not toxic >sweet hearted single mother >recovering addict(won't say to what) >legit trying >We dated and she was really sweet for a while >she starts losing interest >pretty much broken up >I don't bother to text and she doesn't bother to respond >mehprobablyanotherguy.jpeg >start missing her... >missing her a lot. >leave her voicemail which will trigger her >we got intoxicated and fucked passionately >I fucked up her life because I was lonely... >stopped talking after that. i knew i fucked up >many months later we start talking again >I know just having me in her life is going to trigger a relapse... >torn between legit loving her and wanting what's best for her, and my own selfish needs becasue I miss her... >know I'm cancer >hate myself >I have become the toxicity I hate.. >justkillme.jpeg
> be me, senior in high school > no longer have any real freinds > friends I do have are all immature and more friends out of convenience and not out genuine interest > no longer find any joy in my past hobbies like video games > want to meet new friends but don't know how to go about that > super shy and self conscious about the acne on my face which, while it isn't as bad as others, its definitely there > pretty much bored with life as a whole and finding little reason to try in my classes anymore
Tfw all I really want in life by this point is just a girlfriend or really close friend so I can have some sense of love (either romantic or in a family type of way) and companionship.
If I knew it wouldn't destroy my family I probably would have killed myself already because my life has been on a steady decline with no sign of stopping for the past two years.
>>701626101 my dude, you're going to have to make a choice. Either you're going to stop doing acid and talk to a guidance counselor or family member about quitting or you're going to have to drop debate team. Life is about sacrifices
>>701625430 I hope youre right anon, she wants to see a movie then go riding around with a couple of bottles. yes its a backwoods area but god dammit on a clear night its nice to get out and see the stars from the top of some hills
>Almost 18 now. >Still have to live with uncle. >Got a job >Got buff, learned to defend myself. >Uncle demanded 75% of my pay. >I complied at first, because I wasn't old enough to get out yet, but still saved every penny I could. >Be a few weeks after my 18th birthday. >Get home from work, open the door and go inside the house. >Standing in hallway, hear my sister screaming in pain. >Burst into the living room >See my uncle hitting my sister with a belt over and over again. >Sister was bleeding all over her body already. >Fucking loose it. >Enter ragemode, pick him up and throw him on the ground. >Look at my sister. >Big ass cuts all over her, because my uncle was whipping her with full force. >Go completely apeshit, hit the old fuck in the face over and over again, as hard as I can. >Knuckles completely fucked up, 2 teeth stuck in my fist. don't care and keep punching. >Finally calm down and stop. >Lil sis is breathing really shallow, not responding to me. >Pick lil sis up and book it to the nearest hospital.
>>701627084 Oh well, just emotionally withdraw from her, she is a worthless human being, you can find what you found with her with almost any other girl. Just stop being such a beta. She is going to end up a gross, stupid middle aged woman going through midlife crises and abusing her fatherless children.
>go on date with girl >things dissipate weeks later, we stop talking >keep trying to plan to talk to her again but too nervous >get high as fuck at party, acting out and being loud and obnoxious >she shows up
fml fam. i think we had a nice conversation but i just remember being annoying and loud. this was a few days ago.
what do? can i lead this into another date? what should i say
>>701627557 Just be yourself and if things do go as planned than you will have to move on. No point beating yourself over one person. I was told "if it was meant to be it was meant to be". Its a very shitty and vague saying but it has meaning to it. Best of luck though.
>>701617835 Kinda been feeling that the past few days back at college. I enjoy the classes and whatnot don't get me wrong, but there really seems to be no meaning in the world. Pretty much just been told to get your degree,get a job,and get married or something. Only appealing thing would maybe be a relationship but I can't even see myself ever having one at this point.
Although I've really been enjoying some retrowave lately, so that's nice I guess...
>>701628195 That's just one story I'm in a weird spot where my thoughts are very abstract but I'm having trouble putting them into words, so I very often find myself thinking of sharing my feelings/philosophies with friends and deciding to opt out. I used to be able to share my feelings very well too
> Be me > 23 and I've had one gf for like 3 months but didn't take it seriously because she was fat and ugly > Now I'm talking to a girl I'm interested in > Realize that if she even deals with my social retardation and general lack of knowledge on how to properly talk to people that she'll leave when she finds out I'm hung like a chipmunk > TFW my penis size directly affects my social life with women > MFW if I end up in a relationship they'll either cheat, leave, or both.
>>701627945 well i mean when we talk it's always nice and we have great conversations, but idk how to just kinda jump back into it. i feel like apologizing for being obnoxious would be stupid but since we saw each other in person i want to at least mention it.
>be me >beginning of summer >go on online game that i have some friends on >only go on like once a month to talk to friends >friend introduces me to her friend that's new to the game >there's a big group but me and her get along really well >start going on game every day >there's a big group of us but just go on to se her >even if we don't go on the game, we talk on skype >literally talk every single day >obviously realize i'm falling hard for her >refuse to tell her tho cuz she lives states away and is 9/10 >i'm 0/10 awkward kissless loser, she just sees me as friend >if i told her it would just ruin our friendship >three months go by >people go on less, everybody's going back to college >me and her still talk every day >we even had a seven hour call once >one day she mentions school >i say i'm gonna miss her >she says that we'll still talk even though she'll be in school >tell her that she'll be back with her real friends and will be busy with classes and will forget about me >she doesn't say anything >tell her it's okay, just a part of life >fucking dying inside tho >fastforward to the other night >in skype call >before she's about to leave, tell her again that i'll miss her since it's our last call cuz she's going back to school >she says we'll eventually call again >say that by the time she has time to call again she'll have long forgotten about me >she doesn't say anything >say that i'll see her in another life or some stupid shit like that >hang up >realize i'm never gonna talk to her again >realize how much i love her >yet i never got the chance to tell her >and i never will >sadface.jpg
>>701629365 You will have to roll the dice anon. Please remember to always be yourself and take chances when the opportunity arises. I realize that I missed alot of opportunities to make friends or even patch things up with them. I wouldn't want some poor soul like you to do the same.
>be me >mid twenties >six fig income >no friends >all work >all of the sudden start getting terrible migraines >can't work >no one will prescribe me pain killers because new laws in state >in terrible pain everyday >can't sleep >no one will prescribe me sleeping pills because I am on ADD medication >tell me stop taking medication >stop taking ADD medication >now migraines are worse >tell me to lose weight because that is why >lose 60 lbs >still terrible migraines >every SINGLE FUCKING DAY ALL DAY LONG >passed over for promotion I worked hard as fuck over at work >new boss comes in telling me what to do asking why I am not able to focus >fuqu.jpg >say fuck this shit, I'm just going to buy drugs illegally if no one will prescribe me anything >try using kpins first >thought they might be anxiety related >works the first fucking time >wowthatsgr8.webm
>get asked to do a random drug test last Friday >imfuckingfucked.fuckpeg
Rev of those feelers >be me >12 at the time and pretty bad ADHD >sometimes can't remeber closest friends names >I don't even remember their last names now, including "her" >going up to Oregon for family during holidays >go back to Cali for school >meet qt3.14 (let's name her Jenna) >instantly hit it off >we become close friends while in school >would tell parents I'm going to the park and maybe hang with friends for a few hours >go over to her house instead and hang with her parents >tell them my parents aren't around anymore so I dont get in trouble >parents believe me, Jenna know truth >hang with them pretty much everyday day >be with her everyday >fast forward 2 yrs coming back from summer in Oregon >go to Jenna's house as per usual >I notice a "for sale" post in lawn >what? >knock on door and see moma Jenna >"hey anon, nice to see you back" >"nice seeing you too" >"where's Jenna at?" >she looks physically hurt by my question >"oh anon, she's not here anymore more" >holding back tears "what do you mean" >she loses it and breaks down crying >I comfort and popa Jenna also comes over >"I can't be around here too long, I will be back" >I sprint home and close the door to my room, sobbing >can't face them for a week >man up and walk on over to the house >knock on door >no answer >knock again louder >still nothing >stay for maybe half hour, but no one comes >leave >check that house everyday since >it's been 6 years >August 15th was the 6th year mark for meetin Jenna >still don't know where they could be I can't even remember the rest of her name and can't find in phone book. I miss her so much
>>701626843 >Sis has a severe concussion, several broken ribs, broken nose... >Lost a lot of blood, but she made it.
FF 2 more years. >Moved to a different state, got a decent job, have a small flat, own car, etc. >Sis still was her usual happy self, despite what happened to her. >Everything going well. >Sis gets a boyfriend, real douchebag, hate his guts because I know he means trouble. >Tell sis that he's bad news, she gets real mad at me and ignores me for a couple days. >Keep trying to convince her to break up with that fuckstick. >She tells me that she's sick of my shit and that it's her own life, and to stay the fuck out of her relationship. >Packs her shit and bails on me, doesn't say a word to me. >Go looking for her all night, shouting my lungs out. >Eventually find out where fuckstick lives, decide to try my luck there. >Bang on his door, I barge in the moment he opens it. >Look all around his apartment, find sis in his bedroom. >Obviously high out of this world, pretty much a potato. >See needles on table in front of her. >Get really fucking angry and start shouting at her. >Fuckstick and 2 of his friends kick me out, tell me to fuck off. >Don't hear anything from sister for 2 months. >Find out she OD'd. >Blame myself for her death. >Fall into crippling depression, become completely catatonic. >Start heavily drinking. >Start doing drugs myself because drinking didn't cut it anymore. >Realize that I'm making a huge mistake. >Start turning my life around, stop drinking and using drugs. >Decide that I can't live here anymore, too many bad memories. >Pack all my shit, get all my saved up cash and sell everything I don't need. >Get a one-way ticket to norway.
This was 1 year ago. I still blame myself for my sisters death. Sometimes when I'm sitting on my roof at night, looking up at the stars thinking about everything I always get the feeling that I could've saved her if I was a better big brother.
Sorry if it seems rushed. First time I'm talking about it.
First things first I'm on mobile so greentext ain't happening unless theres interest. I frequently find myself in these threads to hopefully find someone in a similar predicament to mine but no luck. To fully understand the situation I'll have to start a few years back, junior year when I first laid eyes on her. If there's any interest I could type up a greentext Pic unrelated
>This was in 8th grade, 2002-2003 >There was this girl that I really liked, she would talk to me. >She would flirt, which for some reason rustled my autist jimmies. >I had no idea how to handle it. >Fuck.jpg >School ends >Never make a move To this day, I still regret not making a move. Fuck
i'm too afraid of death to commit suicide but with each week I feel more and more miserable. I don't think i'll ever be willing to kill myself, but i'm slowly idealizing things as close as I can get to it. considering committing crimes to get myself in prison, because I want all control taken out of my life. to be told what to do and when to do it, because I just want to give up on trying. I was so desperate that a couple days ago I got all hyped up about telling my psych how I would benefit from being on an inpatient ward or something, how I think I could live with that. at first I told myself because it would be faster, because being 7/10 on the misery scale for two years is too much. but 10/10 on the misery scale for two months, that I can do. in reality It's that same comforting idea of having all control taken out of my life, to be able to give up. I know that these things won't actually make life easy, better, or anything like that. but hey.. I wouldn't have myself to blame anymore. I would be forced to do things, not just to 'get better' but just to survive. just to get by.
>>701632814 holy shit brother... if this is a true story then that's a nightmare. Fuck, dude it was never your fault. You knew what was best for her but it was her choice to make her own decisions. If she wasn't mature enough to handle living on her own, then it's not your fault. We make our choices in life, it fucking hurts i know but still, you've done your part protecting her your whole life. At some point she had to become independent and live her own life
Alright /b/.. Here goes nothing, can't date after this pretty much.
>Be freshie in highschool >Never be that social, not many friends >always wear hoodie, not talk much >be walking around campus during lunch with a few friends one day >see 8.5/10, medium blonde hair, wearing anime shirts constantly, almost a weeb but to the cute point >her friend recognizes me, points me out and walks up to me >cute girl walks up to me with group, her face turns bright red as she gently grabs the strings of my hoodie >holyshit.jpg >completely freeze and almost spill spaghetti >friend tells her to hurry up, she quickly hugs me and runs off >stand still like dumbass >go home shortly after >frantically try to get ahold of her once I get home
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