Stupidest shit you have done while horny
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Stupidest shit you have done while horny
>>701573157
Fuck my couch cushion
>>701573157
put my dick in a subwoofer (more bass for stereo)
>>701573157
fucked a banana peel
>>701573536
Howd it feel
>>701573157
licked my elbow
>>701573581
awesome when the bass dropped
>>701573683
wtf topkek
>>701573157
take pictures of my dick, put it on as my wallpaper and feel shameful after I came
>>701573645
Underrated post
Put several half moon shaped Ice cubes in my ass them jerked off.
Its self lubricating as they melt when you insert
>>701573157
Made an underage girl masturbate in front of me. She was 16 and I was 20 so it wasn't that bad. And it was consensual, but the thought of me being able to go to jail for something stupid like that scares me.
>>701573157
Can we possibly made some leftist SJW believe that this photo from Schwarzenegger past is him making some nazi gesture?
Oberleutnant Democratic Gubernator
getting pregnant
>>701574448
wow....what an idea....
>>701575079
Kek
>>701575079
spread pussy
>>701573157
Im 12 and a half and just hit puberty. My friend who just turned 12 was watching porn and he produced sperm, i watch porn sometimes. yet nothing. Do i have any sperm at all? Is they only way to get it out by sex? please help
>>701574593
Some states offer a grace period if the gap is less than 4 years... and now I'm ashamed that I know that
There was this girl. She was same age as my little sister but grew early. One day I was super horny and started playing with her pussy. Then I got her in position. Legs spread open wide, but slightly arched upward. I knew my virgin day were over. I dropped my drawers and started to climb onto her. Just then my mother came yo the door and demanded immediate entry. We got dressed fast. That killed the mood. I had to wait anoth er year year to lose my virginity. Glad I did. A 14 year old fucking a 12 year old is nothing. But a 13 year old fucking a 6 year old would be made out to be this horrible thing. The girl had tits. There was hair on her bush. So what if she was 6? Right?
>>701574708
doubt it
>>701575250
4444444444444
>>701575250
muh mods
MODS
GET IT OUT OF HERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
wedged my dick between a door and started thrusting
Buy a CD I didn't want because it had boobs on the cover.
Used the Used condom from my sis and her bf
>>701575356
>hair at 6yo
Yea no anon.....
>>701575250
Nice b8
>>701574223
samefag
>>701573157
Asked her out.
>>701575356
You're right. If she has matured and consents there's nothing wrong with it.
almost being dad
>>701574593
lol ur fucked
>>701575250
>>701575555
I raw dogged a tremendous fat chick on a shopping cart . Stupid dick wasn't listening, she smelled terrible
>>701574448
dick melts?
>>701574593
>Made an underage girl...
>Consensual
pick one.
>>701575250
your friend is going to have to suck it out of you. it's kind of like a well pump. it has to be primed the first time.
>>701576466
have some self respect dude.
>>701575715
>Buy a CD I didn't want because it had boobs on the cover.
now that's pathetic
>>701576662
Was 14
Showed pics of my girlfriend/exes to their friends/people who know them cause its fun. But they knew it was me and I could have gotten caught.
Came so hard tho
Show off my girlfriend on /b/ and forums with name, social media, etc, nudes.. hoping they never whiteknight
>>701576234
lol, IE
I spent an entire month trying to suck my own dick. One night, after rigorous warming up I achieved it and came in my mouth. No permanent damage to my back or anything but it hurt.
The dumb part was that it didn't even feel that great because of all the straining. That and cumming in my own mouth. Would not recommend
>>701574327
>>701574593
underage can not consent faggot
>>701575356
>6
>hair
come on man
>>701573157
reply to craigslist ads
>>701573157
I hold a bottle between my legs since it makes it more horny for some reason
>>701574593
16 ain't underage where I come from, don't feel bad just because you're country has an arbitrarily higher consent age than others
Suh>>701575250
You have to fuck him in the ass
>>701573157
legit tried fucking a jello cup once. orange flavor. thought it might feel good to twist it around on my head
did not work
upon insertion the entire cup of jello instantly fell out onto my lap
10/10 would do again. it was refreshing
>>701573157
I once convinced my girlfriend to go on omegle and get guys to jack off to her while she got herself off too, all the while i was watching to the side.
turns out she had never been on the site before and was amazed by it. it has become almost routine for her to go on there atleast once a month and not long ago she has started hinting at trying out 3somes and shit. ive seen the guys she stops and has fun with, they all have great figures and are packing big cocks, neither of which i have.
problem is i sort of encouraged it the first few times thinking it was hot, now its fucked up. but when i know shes up to it i get horny af.
so yeah, that was pretty stupid.
pic related is her.
>>701573157
I went to the village and bought a 12yo girl for 8 camels, then I banged her in front of my other 3 wifes.
I regret doing that because I lost one of my favourite camels
>>701573157
Let my dog lick my dick.
Also attempt to masturbate mid-class but I realized how stupid that was before anyone saw.
>>701578043
Topkek
>>701573157
Your mom
>>701577951
full frontal, cuck
>>701578537
How does horse cock feel?
>>701578043
we need a penis masquerade party thread
ok
>>701573157
Thought some girl might actually be interested in me. Sent a polite and complimentary message. Never heard from her again. I hate humanity.
Squatted on my windowsill at 3 in the morning and wanked out the window.Would not recommend as after you cum it is fucking terrifying and i started shaking really fucking bad. So yeah,no matter how good an idea it seems just dont
>>701579087
make a thread an I'll post mines
>>701573157
Fucked my then girlfriend's mum......
>>701579018
I wish I knew. I would think big, thick, warm & pulsing. I want to play with one
>>701579603
Same here. Ive dreamed of jerking one off until it cums all over me. I wish in my ass. Anal creampies are a dream
Worked in a deli. slow one night. hot register girl had come back for a sandwhich and pushed her Ass up against my dick before giggling and running away. I cut an 8 inch chunk of bologne, warmed it in the oven at 200 for 15 minutes, cut a hole in it, brought it into the walkin fridge and fucked it... customer waiting when I came out.
>>701580899
>pushed her Ass up against my dick before giggling and running away
Nice job small dick
>>701581145
She was a 15 year old cashier, I was a 19 year old deli worker. not a small dick, she was just a giggly little girl.
>>701581403
Keep telling yourself that.
>>701579977
I'd recommend it i've jerked off a horse while the owner watched. She came hard when the horse shot its load at my face.
>>701582031
hot
>>701582031
story time?
>>701573157
Perform auto-fellatio after promising myself to never do it again because of ensuing back pain.
>>701583042
lmao ikr its not worth it at all
came into a rubber glove inside of a warm towel...
...I have never felt so pathetic and satisfied at the same time...
>>701575574
>>701583134
I just wish I could get laid.
>>701581591
Sounds like you're baiting this guy for dick pics, fagget.
>>701581403
Just so you know Anon, you could have fucked her. Teen years, hormones are racing, she wanted some dick and you failed to give it to her.
I am ashamed of you.
>>701573645
gr8 m8
>>701576941
>>701582031
I want it so bad. Like I constantly think about it.
>>701577951
yeah dude huge fuck up - bitch I'm banging right now has a boyfriend that talked her into threesomes. That bird is flying now
I once tried to make a dildo of my own anatomy while drunk. When I was making the mould the alginate set too quickly. I used it as a fleshlight instead
>>701583557
I had fucked lots of hot girls... she had previously been an ugly duckling...I still thought of her as ugly geeky girl.small town 1500 people. I would have been embarrased at the time. 30 year old me? i would demolish that.>>701583557
Fucked a plastic bag in between bed cushions with lotion. It fucked my dick skin up and a few days later all of the skin peeled of in weird hard cracked looking patterns.
It also hurt like a motherfucker.
>>701575715
lol
Fucked a lemon
Got scared and ashemed when my member got all red and irritated afterwards
>>701573157
Put my dick in apple sauce.
>>701579277
Similar experience. I've been interested in bondage for a while and decided to try out some self-bondage. I was visiting home over the summer, so had my mom and little brother in the house.
3AM, raining outside. I strip ass-naked in the living room and I went from half-asleep to feeling like I snorted a gram of caffeine. I was so nervous and so terrified that i could feel my heart beating out of my chest and I was shaking so hard i could barely open the front door.
I went outside in the rain naked, walked across the front lawn, and went around back to a strip of side-woods we had between us and the adjacent street.
I tied myself, legs spread and hands over head, to a tree. I wasn't visible from the street or house, but it took me over an hour to get free.
I felt like I was going crazy trying to sneak back in.
Its honestly an amazing feeling. Maybe not something that i would want to do again in a while, just with being back at college with my GF, whos not really into it, but definitely again at some point. Just the feeling of being exposed like that and the "holy shit, I'm actually doing this" and being able to feel the risk is so thrilling.
>>701573157
Stealin my grandma's bra
>>701573157
Lego in pooper
>Be me, livin alone and horny as fuck
>Really like putting junk up my ass
>"Well shit I'll just try doing an enema before, bet it will feel way better afterwards"
>Go to shower
>Lube up the showerhose without the head
>Insert
>Start water
>Take a shit
>"Phew that was good"
>Go back on the couch, assume the possition, start with sharpies, then move on to a hairbrush
>Pull out hairbrush
>FUCKING WATER STARTS LEAKING ON SOFA
>OH SHIT
>PANIC, GET UP, EVEN MORE WATER STARTS LEAKING OUT OF ASSHOLE
>Boner=dead
>Ended up just cleaning the shit up
fapped to Hatsune Miku
>Used to have a poop fetish
>pooped in toilet
>grabbed poop and put back in butt
>pooped again
I really dont know why.
>>701586758
>>701586930
You should feel bad. Scat is worse than beastiality.
>>701575079
MYTH DEBUNJED , THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON 4CHAN.
>>701573157
>be me years ago
>the very manifestation of horny
>masturbating furiously about to orgasm so hard reality will rip open
>sister opens house door
>sound of crowd of girls reach my room
>get dressed in nanoseconds
>sisters best friend calls my name
>unfuckingbelievably hot cocktease
>she spends most visiting times on my lap
>I have masturbated trillions of times to rough sloppy hard breaking her hips sex with her
>i shut down porn
>she enters my room
>oh anonnnnnn therree you areeeeee
>she runs and jumps on me
>I lift her up from the back of her legs
>with kung fu mastery motion I manage to avoid my raging long boner from impaling her
>my hands switch position to her butt
>she knows this is only to lift her so no protest (done it before)
>oh gods the firm soft tiny buttcheeks
>she hugs and kisses my cheeks
>missed you :3 smiles
>keep in mind I was one nanosecond from orgasm 5seconds ago
>I manage to control my urges and not orgasm
>okayimnaputyoudownnow? I say
>NUH UH NOPE TEEHEE LOL WEEHEE
>I badly need to go to the bathroom and blast barrels of cum
>she holds tightier in her game to not be put back on ground
>I arch my back and slowly push her off
>in the commotion she is lowered and literally her pussy brushes the upper side of my dick from base to tip
>my orgasm is literally one flick of a finger to my dick away
>she opens her mouth in surprise, covers it, smiles and casually walks out of room
Continue?
>>701587099
You fell for the bait
>>701587099
Doesn't that just make it even more stupid? :P
>be 10
>be horny
>be at grandmas house
>be into feet and legs
>grandma has old record album of Donna Summer "on the radio" where she is sitting on old radio looking hot
>take off underwear,leave jeans on
>grandma asleep on armchair
>lay in front of her
>hump pillow making sure to look and make sure she is still asleep while alternating looking at album cover
>jizz in jeans
>still cringe when I see album cover
>sometimes still fap
>>701587081
it was a short-lasted phase.
Plus anything like ingesting or smearing was revolting still.
>>701587172
Yes please
>>701587172
Please cont.
>>701587172
si senior
>>701587172
>I got a little worried so I followed
>she is smiling and being a derp with other girls
>sis demands smoothies
>tell her ill brb
>I go to bathroom to cum
>start fapping furiously to what happened
>ANOOOOON ANON HURRY UP DERPINA HAS TO PEE
>fuuuuuuck
>I splash cold water on dick
>ill masturbate later
>so horny
>let derpina (another friend) go in
>I go to kitchen and start mixing berries and strawberries for the epic older brother shake
>they line up with glasses
>bunch of potential future pornstars eager for my shake with smiles and obvious older boy attractions
>derp girl from earlier in room sipping and starring at my crotch
>only she knows how hard I was
>play it off and go back to my room
>lock the door
Cont
Dw guys, I'LL be the one to keep this thread alive
>>701588213
We WANT MOAR
>>701588214
stfu pissmop
>>701588213
moar
>>701588213
plz continue
I fapped to vanilla sex
>>701575356
summer did hit hard this year
>>701576234
go back to 9fag niger
>>701588213
>something something dinosaur
>>701587439
>>701587484
>>701588213
>I reopen porn in attempt to relieve my self
>start fapping
>horny and I need this
>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK DOORHANDLE KNOCK KNOCK
>ANOOOOOON COME SET UP THE DVD PLAYER WE WANT TO WATCH TV
>christ viahnu mohammed and the torah these bitches are gonna make a nigga slap a girl
>I put boner up on waistlline elastic and furiously go to dvd player
>realise the derpina is the one insisting
>she knows
>she is plotting to ruin my fap
>I start that cheesy fucking dancing movie I forgot the name of now
>the flock gathers with smoothies and they start watching
>sister is proud that she has the dvd and milking that role
>sulk back to my room very horny
>I decide to wait for a little so no more knocking
>think about derpina
>go to kitchen and pour my self a mix
>she follows
>watchadowen?
>why aren't you watching the movie?
>ive seen it......*she smiles and stands in a slutty pose*
>okay wanna hang out with me?
>YESSSSSSSS
>she casually tells sister she is gonna be back and comes to my room
>I close the door
>this is where most of you readers want to grab your dicks and stroke slowly as this is my actual story
>she immediately jumps back on top of me
Contd
>>701573157
Stupidest thing happened earlier today
>Going to Renaissance Fair with whole family
>Parents are into the whole dressing up thing, so we all have variations of mideival clothing
>mom's choice of attire, this German style 1700's dress, kind of like pic related, suddenly and violently forces me to realize that my mother has the best tits I've ever fucking seen
>After I get over the weirdness, I realize I MUST save a picture of this for posterity (and future fapping).
>Finally see my chance as she's coming out of this armor shop with one of my sisters.
>Try to look real casual as I snap a picture
>Didn't notice that it had suddenly clouded over, so my camera pre-flashes twoc, and finally ashes as it focuses and takes the picture
>She had a second to react because of the pre-flashes
>She realized exactly what I was doing
>The actual picture items fif of mom, blue eyes blazing with anger and shock, blonde ringlets and bouncing breasts jiggling as she steps down out of the shop.
>I left the group immediately following that, and I'm now drinking with a bunch of Scottish reenacters. I have a kilt now.
>>701573157
put on tights I stole from my sister and got in the bathtub and jerked off.
>>701577951
thats a new level of cuck
>>701574223
>4 posts and 4minutes later
fuck off
>mfw I came inside her.
(403) 915-3619
This is the stupidest why am posting phone number
>>701589715
continue
>>701574593
>made
>>701589715
Dick is out and it's not for that monkey harambae!
>>701577951
Cuck as fuck
>>701573157
Fucked a meth head and got HPV. Good times.
suck a guys dick
>>701573157
Fucked my ex
>>701573536
Best description of a subwoofer I've heard
3 golf balls in the ass. Only 2 came out.. 5 years ago
>>701577124
what the fuck?
>>701589715
more
>>701589715
this is gonna be good
>>701589797
Apparently drinking a lot, as you can barely type. Also FUCKING KEK
>>701589715
mas
HAHAHAH heheh HAHAHAH HAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA heheh
>>701589797
Post pic plz
>>701590570
set up camp in the appendix??
>>701589797
>>701590931
>This
Pics or fuck off anon
>>701589715
WE WAITING
>>701573157
Injected rhum in my arse using a syringe.
All credits to me, it got me a warm feeling in my pelvis and an incredible hard on. That was before the ocean of burning,pain, tears and regrets that followed.
Stole friend's sisters panties and whacked into em while he slept above me. No home?
>>701579277
I truly lol'd at this
My sister caught me jerking it once when I was 16 and she got in bed with me and fingered herself and we made out. It was neet
Sent nudes to a fat bitch that hates me after I dated her for a day.
Lucky ol' me got pics back cause she's a slut (had a saver app and got all the pics but they're lost on my old phone).
Could've gone Fubar, the ho is friends with all my friends.
>>701591312
how old was sister?
>>701588376
>>701589224
>>701589715
>I play aroumd with her a bit
>her laugh is penetrating my soul
>I make an excuse to carry her with one hand by pointing at objects in the room
>my right hand slides between her buttcheeks and I lift her up from there
>wanna use the laptop? *points*
>wanna play guitar? *points*
>she says no to everything I point out while wiggling her butt with every answer
>no *wiggle*
>its painfully obvious how much she wants this as much as I do
>I eventually go and sit on the laptop
>she sits on my lap at first then slowly her legs relax and slide outside mine
>I start some funny vids and she is laughing and picking the next one
>her warmth, softness, and scent make my dick pulse harddddddd
>she is sitting directly on top of my shaft and wiggling for the slightest reason with her legs opened out of mine and her back to me
>I pretend to take control of mouse by leaning forward
>my face is brushing against her left cheek
>I open browser and start typing on the keyboard
>this makes her whole body get engulfed in between my arms
>as I type I notice she is flushed and panting ever so slowly yet nervously
>her breathing is irregular and almost as if she was trying to control it
>I give her a tight hug and tell her "you okay sweetie?"
>"yeah im fine" with a fake smile
>this is the moment of why I postef in this thread
>with her face inches away frmom mine in my dim room
>her head resting on my right shoulder and enitr body resting on my pulsing shaft I couldn't control my selg and gave her a peck on the lips
>she jolted but remained calm and closed her eyes almost as if expecting more
>I dove right back in and gave her a very slow and soft kiss
>french kissed the ever loving fuck out of that slut
>she was shaking nervous yet was lost in it
>I pretended to be fixing our posture and slid my hand between her lega and lifted her enitrr body weight from her pussy
>she jolted and widened her eyes but got normal once I removed my hand
Contd
>>701591202
sounds like a good plot
>>701589953
calgary?
>>701590962
Seems to have settled in the corner where decending colon meets the sigmoid colon. The inside of the curve is clear which prevents a blocakage.
>>701575715
ween?
>>701588213
the fact you say derpina pisses me off to no fucking extent funnyjunker, rage comics are dead
on another hand, good Story
>>701591561
Duh mate
>>701591561
type swiftly anon
>>701591561
moar
>>701591561
that took forever hurry up anon
>>701589576
wow, Countries in Africa have fucking feeling.
>Niger!?!
Ass wipe
>>701573157
Stole lots of panties. It's a wonder I'm not a sex offender.
>>701591561
And here's where it gets fake
>>701589797 if you want to fuck her
Make it obvious that you jerk off to her and try to have her catch you jerking to her pic.
>>701591561
Someone screencap this
>>701591779
go to the doctor?? or are you an amerifag.
>>701591561
Godspeed sir, godspeed.
>>701573547
Ever watched weeds?
>>701591561
bruh
Tried to fuck a potato. I though it would feel ok with a condom on, it didn't so I boiled it, edging the entire time, to get it softer, and tried again. Didn't work. Burned my dick so bad I cannot describe the pain of a steam burn on a dick.
>>701592213
Dumb fuck
>>701576234
Male Feminism?!... wtf
>>701592309
Still got laid faggot
>>701591561
WHAT ARE THE AGES OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS WORK OF FRICTION?
>>701591561
More..
Coked up and drunk I fucked a nog on her period. It was gross.
>>701591833
>>701591916
>>701591933
>>701591997
>we continued kissing for about 5 minutes
>she pulls away from me and looks directly at me
>Whilst staring into my eyes she begins to rock back and forth on my lap
>oh God, i'm going to cum
>then with one last rub of her little butt
>something amazing happened
>and now I can talk to animals, it's really cool
>but totally secret, and you know what?
>life's never been the same
>>701592444
Chek
>>701592444
either really young like 8 years old or just a really flirty 16 year old
>>701592527
Faggot
>>701592366
Nah man, yuh singed yuh cockenballs. you lost
>>701592589
Virgin
I fucked two warm water balloons once
>>701592444
chig cheggity chegg
>>701592033
Are you literally autistic?
>>701576234
The bing search gets me every damn time
>>701592626
Mummy kissed it better for ten good boy points
>>701573956
Nice one.
>>701592059
I went to the ER about 3 years in. Cute doc. X ray. She's really polite. "There's a blockage. Drink this until it passes."
She gave me a huge jug of solution to drink that made me shit my ever loving guts out.. But no ball.
Too embarrased to go back. I'm trying to exercise more to see if I can dislodge it.
>>701592527
what am i supposed to do with this boner anon
>>701592527
lel and/or kek
>>701592880
hey If you go back you might see her again
I fucked my half sisters half sister while she was in the room
>experimenting with fapping
>notice a tube of icyhot
>no one will ever know
>my dick is already lathered up
>icy instantly.it's not bad, not rly working
Then comes the hot
>burning on all sides of my dick
>I run to the shower
>cold water is not soothing it
>question my entire life's existence
>>701592928
wait for the actual guy to keep posting, that was just a troll
>>701592789
>Fucked a potato
>Burned yuh cockenballs
>Mommy kissed them to make better
>Incest
>You're mom's a god damn vegetables
>>701590021
>>701590107
>>701590732
>>701591561
>she took the bait and didn't panic
>a few kisses later she was melting in my arms
>her nipples were pointing out from underneath that turquoise shirt
>I test the waters by sliding my hands on her tummy slowly upward
>she gets more and more nervous as I reach het nipples
>I ask her if this is the first time she has kissed someone
>she cutely frowns and says no
>I tell her that she's such a good kisser and that's why im wondering
>she smiles again
>I turn this into a first time game
>first time someone plays with your cute boobs?
>N-N..NO
>she's lying
>have you ever seen a guy's thing before? I ask playfully
>no
>wtf girls these days lol
>then I slowly move my hand down to her shorts
>you know whay I want to do derpina?
>EAGER AS FUCK "wh...what anon?"
>I want to slide my hand down there, is that ok?
>she nodds in approval
>I slide my palm down to the most fucking wet and softest pussy in the galaxy
>my heart was pounding as my fingers traced around her pussy lips
>my dick was beyond redemption
>she starts moaning as I play slowly with her pussy
>I slide two fingers aside her clit and slowly go upppp and dooown
>she grabs my arms and starts grinding with the motion
>it doesn't fucking take long of this before she suddenly jams her legs shut on my legs and gasps for air
>mother of pepe I just made this little slut cum
>she is throbbing underneathy fingertipa
>she grabs my hand and pulls it out of her pants
>I have never felt so good yet dirty in my life
Contd
>>701575868
Historically the average age for signs of puberty for females is around 8 (breast buds). However, in the recent years because of diet, people have been having early puberty. Girls nowadays if seen with hair before age 7 is nothing shocking but they have something called early puberty.
If a girl has her period before 7 then some crazy shit is up, the average age for that is 12 for white females, and 11 for black females. However -/+2 of that age is normal giving a range of 9-14.
http://www.webmd.com/children/guide/causes-symptoms#1
>>701575079
Tits, time stamp or gtfo
>>701593227
Oh shit
>>701577951
hahahaha fucking kek your such a cuck
>>701593227
>>701593260
this is so true. it happened to my sister and i felt so bad because every now and then you could spot the perverts glancing. fuck i hate the midwest
>>701593227
When I was wasted and my ex was passed out drunk next to me on the couch I cut off her jean shorts with scissors while my friends played video games like 5 feet in front of us...as slowly and as carefully as I could I casually fingered her asshole. She woke up the next day and knew she got fucked with but had no idea who did it. Fucking terrifying experience and incredibly stupid.
>>701593636
>lmao this guy
>be me
>horny 15 y/o
> put on condom
>fuck pic related: one of these baskets with hole on top
>dick gets stuck
> keep going
>Came and cant get out
>cum dripping down at this point
>sit there for at least an hour under my sheets with this thing on me
>kek'd afterwards
Got married
>>701593227
>>701576234
obvious bait is obvious
>>701593966
Whilst horny?
>>701575356
Come on, man. 6 is a bit much.
>>701593636
Musta been exhilarating. I bet one of the guys you were with knows it was you.
>>701573536
Reminds me of privaye parts haha.
>>701593227
moar
>>701593227
more
>>701594214
Possibly. We all questioned everybody at the party the next day and tried to figure out who it was. We determined she was a dumb drunk slut who did stupid/weird shit all the time (true) and we couldn't expect to keep track of her retarded shenanigans.
>>701587172
>>701588213
>>701589715
>>701591561
>>701593227
i am extremely nervous as you haven't mentioned the ages of anyone involved, and it's starting to look like your sister and her friends are children
>>701594606
good
>>701590931
>>701591042
This confuses me. If he's lying, the picture doesn't exist. if hes telling the truth and he does have the picture, no way is he posting his mom on the internet for people to fap to.
Either way, expecting the pic is stupid.
>>701594606
If you dont like it, leave
>>701594606
Why does that make you nervous? I'd have thought that the story teller should be a little more nervous here.. as readers, we can imagine whichever ages get us off.
shiet
>>701573157
op's mom
>>701594606
I'm guessing anon is 17, 18 and fems are prob 13, 14, 15
>>701594809
when i see that watermark you should get the fuck out memester
>>701592005
Man you have no idea how real this is but okay.
>>701592444
Not going to answer that.
She wasn't supposed to be that slutty I'll tell you that much.
Plus this is months of physical play it was bound to happen.
>>701593227
>she gets off my calmly and says she wants to go to the bathroom cus the wet will be visible
>I tell her I have a better idea
>I take her hand and lead her to the bed
>so funny how she walked
>she smiles as I lower her shorts and make her lie on bed
>I start kissing her legs
>she is so confused and aroused it's actually hard not to laugh
>wh...whats the idea anon *pant pant smile*
>I tell her ill kiss the wet away and if that doesn't work ill use my thingy
>she doesn't understand or is too horny to play along
>she layed there terrified yet smiling horny
>I kiss her pussy lips twice and she jolts and tells me to stop its "itching her" when I kiss
>realise my urge is making me eat a girl out right after her orgasm
>justasplanned.gif.webm.exe
>okay anonette (for that one guy who hated derpina we shall call her anonette)
>what if I do this? I say as I take my dick out of my pants and start prodding her pussy with my dick
>she gives me a "NOPE NOT GONNA HAPPEN" look and immediately sits up
>I tell her to not be afraid
>she is afraid and is bailing out of the whole thing
>fuuuuuuck getting blueballed by a little slut
>I say okay okay don't worry sweetie
>I start milking sympathy and play the victim
>imsorry anon :(((
>I tell her it's fine
>she goes to bathroom anyway
>doesn't come back
>takes way too long
>sister comes looking for her
>im scared shitless
>she finally exits the bathroom and rejoins flock
>I diplomatically accept my losses and stay in my room to avoid any major issues
Contd
>>701594865
Even 13 yearolds would know how to make a smoothie and how to put on a movie
>>701594586
Sigh of relief that was I bet. Lol be careful in your future sexual escapades anon. Control your dick and your finger.
>>701594606
Just fucking read the story
>>701595115
damn son
>>701595115
It's 2:45 AM and this is the only thing keeping me up.... MOAR PLEASE
>>701588213
>derpina
Fucking kill yourself and your shitty story
>>701595183
Really? Cus my current gf who is 24 doesn't know how to switch from dvd player to receiver and it's literally one minute worth.
Started playing secondlife
>>701593552
I have a funny story involving a girl that it happened to.
Story time:
> be me at age 9
> friend one day tells me in school she's bleeding
> be puzzled tell her to go to the nurse
> she's like no
> ask why
> she says she's bleeding from there
> be like wat.avi
> just hover around her the rest of the day with tissues
> ride the bus
> home
> she's neighbor
> remember she is bleeding
> start to freak out she may be dying
> literally run over and bang on their door
> her mother opens it
> tears and slobbering I scream that her daughter may be dying
> wat.avi is the mother
> i explain
> she laughs
> achievement get puberty talk by my friend's mother
It was not that bad, to be honest, her mother was a doctor. Got more than I bargained for, though. Learned that in her family the females tend to have puberty earlier.
Later that year I had been self-studying psychology and learn that females that have their menarche early can lead to lower education and more high-risk social stuff. I begin to worry my friend may become a useless individual. This worry stuck with me until last year were she got accepted to an Ivy league university.
>>701595115
End
>>701595115
moar pleas
>>701595115
you had to rape her at that point, faggot
>>701573157
fucking mcchicken wich is going viral on twitter as we speak
>>701595501
>>okay anonette (for that one guy who hated derpina we shall call her anonette)
--> >>701595115
>>701595522
Damn your gf must be fucking stupid
>>701593145
Mummy says Tendies time. No time for trivial silly-willy-bullies on the interweebs
>>701595545
read the fucking lines of the op you shithead, we're talkin about stupid things did when horny fucking peasant
>>701595458
same here
>>701576222
Trips
>>701595832
OP is a faggot.
>>701596000
trips
>>701595558
Tell us the tales of your other penis adventures, anon.
>>701596000
Never heard that one before
>>701596000
Trips of truth
grabbed my dad's fiance's ass on 2 different occasions. was not worth it
>Hitting refresh over and over to read more of the kiddy diddler green text
>>701596520
same
Stupidest thing I've done is post my wife's nudes on /b/
>>701596520
>Amen bruh
>>701596572
Does she know?
>>701596520
Worst part is,its on a whole new level when you have done something similar
GREENTEXT ANOON
WEE NEEED YOUR STORY
TYPE FURIOUSLY FAST FOR OUR BONERS
KEK WILLS IT
lmao im waiting too
>>701596520
i need it
At this point we are just here waiting for that story to fap
>>701582031
>GREENTEXT
>>701597255
My boner disappeared a long time ago
>>701596648
Nope. And I would never tell her. I don't know why I just wanted to hear what everyone thought of her
>>701595115
This better be a long ass greentext, anon
>>701595115
Godamn, write faster !
use mother's vaseline at the age of 13
don't repose in the right place
>>701595458
Last chapter
>>701595115
>I spend an hour contemplating scenarios
>none of which come true she is just watching tv and being idiotic with the others although calm as fuck
>I slide my hand in my pants and start stroking slowly thinking about the heart burning mind fuck that I just did
>I feel like the fucking defiler demon its such a nice feeling
>sister calls my name from living room
>ohshitfuckherewegoshetoldthem
>I slowly walk there fear amplifying with every step
>I reach the flock
>"anonette wants to call her mom so she can stay over can you call dad please please please please?"
>all the wats in the world
>internal slow buildup evil laugh
>ahaha .... ahahaha....AAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
>outside voice "yeah sure hold on"
>I call dad, he's out drinking
>loud bar noises
>dad anonette wants to sleep over
>WHAT?WHO?SURE WHATEVER KID IDC *hangs up*
>I go back to my room
>few minutes later anonette comes to my room all sad
>>701597984
So... ok then
>>701597984
CONTINUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>701597984
And ? Hurry ! mother of god !
>>701597984
YOU CANT END IT LIKE THAT?!?!? WHY WAS SHE SAD?"?!??!?
>>701597666
post those photos kind anon, we didn't see them yet
>>701597984
suspense is killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>701597984
is that it?
>>701597984
>all sad
>>701598292
who dat hoe
>>701597984
type faster
>>701597984
FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU NOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAA REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>701598197
BECAUSE YOU ARE A FAGGOT
Anon the fuck man, type "swiftly" means hurry up killing my fucking splooge cannon here
>>701598365
a grill I know. IT AIN'T NO HOE YOU BITCH.
She deletes her instagram picks, constantly. I started saving some when I realized. Too late... I wonder if you can save vids too. I am no good with F12
this fucking thread
lol
omfg
>>701598255
Idk...I'm thinking about it I just don't know if I'll regret it. Anybody have interest in seeing my wife?
>>701598562
all grills are hoes
>>701597984
what's wrong?
>MOM WONT LET ME STAY
>aww that's ok im sure you'll come over again right?
>i love how we are having small talk after I just made this littfle shit cum with the force of a supernova like nothijg happened
>and then she says it
>BUT I WANNA MAKE IT UP TO YOU ANON :(((
>seems like my victim card from earlier worked wonders
>I tell her she can still do that
>she smiles all happy
>I lock the door and I make her sit on the edge of the bed
>I ask her if she knows what a blowjob is
>she nodds for yes
>I take my dick out and she immediately wraps her tiny TINY TIIINY fucking lis around my dick
>I lose my cool and start jerking my self off furiously in her mouth
>my orgasm is seconds away
>her soft hot fucking mouth barely tickling my tick in the sluttiest of cute ways
>I pull my dick out and have the most back breaking orgasm of my life carefully aiming my dick away from her
>she lets out a "hmmmmmm" which is a mixture of humming,laughing, and smiling giddiliy
>I shoot string after string after string of cum on my bed as I jerk off wathing her satisfied face
>I take a moment to relax then I give her a french kiss
>she was not cummed on but it was worth it
>I take her to kitcuen to hang out there
>eventually her mom picked her up
>deflowering happened a few weeks later
>I eventually fucked her the hard way I always wanted
>one particular session I fucked her so hard she puked from cervix pounding
>I literally blossomed the whore hidden within that girl for years to come
>as in a complete nymphomaniac from that one day I masturbated her till today
>she came buckets many times
>tfw she played the role of my gf for two years after that
>tfw she still stalks me sometimes when she gdts single
>tells me her goto shlick moment is what Is when I jerked off in her mouth that day
It was a stupid thing to do while horny because I later realised how easy we could get caught.
Sorry it took me long to type
The end.
I love you /b/
Goodnight, going to sleep.
>>701573157
Way back, when I have just become a teen, had an old man who lived a few doors over, by old I mean he was in his late 70's, sat on a chair in his open garage all day wearing a wife-beater and listening to opera, guy was a "Confirmed Bachelor" according to my parents, so right after my birthday Dad tell me to go over, Mr Morris want s to hire me to help him around the house, go over, place filled with cigarette smoke, offers me a smoke and a shot of bourbon, now that I am a man time to do manly things, shows me a bunch of Playboys, Wow, show me some hardcore magazines, WOW, this is before the internet, I get a hard on, throbbing, he offers to "Help Me", not sure what he means, pulls down my pants and starts jerking my dick, thought I was going to die, still pretty confused and scared, but it felt great, starts sucking my dick, heart pounding and my mouth goes dry, blew my load in seconds, he keeps sucking, came 2 more times, he gives me a towel, and a Coke, in a bottle, puts five dollars on the table, tells me if I tell he will go to jail and people will call me a fag, I will get 5 bucks if I stop by every afternoon to "Help" him out, says I will always get a shot, a coke and a smoke along with the 5, stopped by almost everyday for 6 years, he went into a retirement home when I left for college, he died before I graduated, in his will he left me a bottle of Scotch, a Carton of Camels, a Case of bottled Coke and a 5 dollar bill, I also inherited his house, parents are glad I live close by, been sitting in my garage in the early evenings having a drink and watching the kids play in the park across the street
>>701598629
how are her tits?
>>701598629
Sure we want to see what she looks like. BTW I was just lurking and hadn't said anything 'til now
>>701598451
damn man, never thougth of it like that
>>701573157
i just tried paying for 3 separate camwhores totaling over $100, all 3 were scams. i paid one of them twice
>>701573157
So, I work in a grocery store. I was only working there for about a month I think. One day I was horny as fuck since all the vacation workers were hot as fuck.
I was responsible for fruit and vegetables, so I was in the freezer a lot. I thought it was a great idea to fap in the freezer, and so I did.
I came into a plastic bag used to wrap the cabbages and threw it away. Didn't get caught and work there to this day..
>>701598629
Send a pic and we'll rate her
>>701598712
>>701598712
fuck
i love you
;---------;
>>701598629
sure do.
>>701598712
wat give session of deflowering u fucking fag
>>701598712
Anon you just filled my body with energy to study for the solemn test of microbiology. I have the twisted power of condensed green texts all over my cells and cum all over my keyboard I am the strongest student of all now I will become everything I've yearned for.
Thanks
to
u
>>701598712
we loves you
used sex chatrooms to RP as a girl or a trap
>>701598712
thank you, /b/ro
>>701598712
That was an amazing story
>>701598712
I can fuckin die in peace now. Thanks anon
>>701598712
today was a good day
>>701598722
holy shit any more like this
>>701598629
>>701598712
Doing gods work anon,you will be missed
>>701598992
Thread gonna die soon
I'll post it next "secrets" thread if anyone remembers
Seriously gotfa go sleep now though
I hope you all enjoyed
>>701598629
Ok here's a pic of her...what do you guys think?
>>701595183
its confirmed that he fucked a 7 year old
he was probably 16 and mum left him at home with a group of fucking kids wearing dora backpacks and those high heeld sneakers that kids wear to look taller
