before this goes any further,... i have to tell you i'm a sex offender, i hope this doesnt change anything thing we could've had between us like our marriage in mexico i was planning with the girl i would be with, or the two children i was gonna have. one boy and one girl. you can choose the names too!! :)
So let me just say... You are beautiful. And I hate to rush things, but I'm looking for a serious relationship. Don't be intimidated, if anything I'll be the one in the kitchen. :3
Send her this and say "here's a pic of me xD"
Jesus fuck do you have to abbreviate everything?
Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.
Whats the sickest/most devious thing you've ever done?
One evening when it was really late I was walking around in the near by park. Barely anyone came to this park even during the day.
I saw this swan sleeping on the grassy area, no where near the lake. If you have ever seen a swan or a goose their bodies are very attractive (but swans faces are kind of ugly). I was looking at it's neck and wondering about the swans esophagus.
To make a long story short, I cut it's neck, almost cut it's head completely off but not quite. It died as I fucked it's esophagus. It's wings were flapping a lot which really turned me on because a swan has beautiful wings. I would squeeze on it's wings as they flapped, those wings were truly the best part. As it tried to breath the esophagus would tighten against my dick all while the blood was pumping out all over my dick and balls. The red blood was so good looking against the white feathers so I'm glad I decided to do it with a swan and not a goose (even though geese are more attractive in the face). I was completely naked for this and afterwards I washed off in the lake.
It's pretty much the most violently sexual thing I've ever done. I've NEVER been attracted to any other animal besides birds and that's only because of the shape of their wings. I find wings to be irresistibly arousing. It was so violent and exciting. Afterwards I felt so relived, like I had spent the day at a spa. All my muscles were relaxed and I was very chill.
Reminds me of this childhood hero
The negroid brain, with its fewer folds is wholly unsuited to the type of intelligent work required in modern societies. On the other hand, the musculature of the negro physique makes him amply suited to simple, repetitive field work and domestic servitude. The more capable among their race may also rise to positions of factory and manufacturing work. The negro is entirely happy in these positions and unlikely to become uppity or difficult.
It is the rise of the service economy and the growth of the first kind of jobs, with the decline of the latter type of work, coupled with the idea that he is capable of rising to a higher position, a cruel myth fed to him by do-gooder liberals, that has led to idleness for the negro. He has failed in his attempts to better his position and, angry that he was lied to, has lashed out by prodigiously taking to crime and becoming accustomed to living off welfare handouts.
I would argue that the solution is not to hate the negro, but rather to understand his plight. One cannot expect miracles from him, just as one cannot expect a dog to perform surgery or design a building. But you would not hate the dog for that. Like a dog, the negro merely needs to be guided and trained to channel his abilities into socially useful functions.
>Can I see more of you
What is this? Elementary school?
Can I get your opinion on something? I'm in a bit of a pickle...
To start off I would like to say that I'm 17 and my little sister is 9. Now, it wasn't till recently where my whole life changed, it happened last Thursday when my parents went to a work formal and made me babysit my sister. Normally my sister is quiet and doesn't bother me which is good but this night it was different. So my parents left me some money to buy pizza so I felt pretty good. When the pizza came my sister took it and went upstairs so I just started watching some Foxtel. I was flicking through the channels boring myself to to death because Foxtel in general is shit so I hit up some "Special interests" channels ;). I went to go check on my sister to make sure I was safe to beat off without her popping in. I quickly headed back to the TV and began to rub my penis. This porno was pretty hot I must admit and I kept stopping and going and just playing around, after about 15 minutes I was about climax and I hear "Josh What are you doing?" The first thought that went through my mind was "FUCK!" I quickly hid my boner with a pillow and changed the channel "Amy, go away" but she just stood there. I could feel the awkwardness building up she said "Josh, what was on the TV? I kept hearing weird noises" I was going red and said "It was nothing, just a ad" she said "Okay, can I sit next to you?" so, she sat next to me and my boner was RIGHT under the pillow and she laid on top of it! She started playing with my leg and me being the ticklish person I am jumped and the pillow fell off revealing my penis. For about ten seconds she stared at it then she grabbed it I yelled and said "AMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING" but I didn't push her off it just felt so good and she began to lick it. I know it sounds fucked up but I enjoyed and when I cummed in her mouth I liked it! That's fucking fucked! She ran away laughing and I just sat there stunned.......Any ideas?
Before I even watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for the first time, one of my friends (who ultimately got me to watch it) cautiously said to a friend of ours and myself: "Does it make me less of a man that I'm watching My Little Pony and loving it?" My response was: "I think that the truest form of manliness is when a person does whatever feels genuine to them no matter who cares, how much, or for what reason. Machismo is ridiculous and self contradictory Manliness is being you even if nobody likes it."
In short, when a man walks into Toys 'R Us and buys a My Little Pony figurine, he's being manly. The guy snarking at him from the other line is using machismo to protect himself. Watching the two of them, I'd admire the man who isn't afraid to be who he is.
Machismo needs to die; It's just projected, exaggerated insecurity. Get in line and buy your pony. "Like" My Little Pony on Facebook and don't keep it from posting for all of your friends to see. Decapitate that silly projection fantasy of what it's like to be a man, and really become one.
The world doesn't need Fight Club; it needs ponies.
I SWEAR TO GOD I WANT TO KILL. The goddamn neighbors have a freakin birthday party like EVERY MONTH since they've probably had unprotected sex in their filthy house trillions of times already, and each time they always blast their SHIT EXCUSE for music all over the whole neighborhood. What happened to common decency? What happened to actually considering that other people exist on this earth? Why are mexican neighbors always so GOD DAMN INCONSIDERATE!!??? Not even the police who I call do anything about it even though they say they'll come over. *banghead*
I don't want to sound racist at all hear, but when you're this pissed it's inevitable. I can't take this anymore. How many more times do I hear the EXACT same song over and over( and I don't mean the exact same one, but the shit sounds the same no matter what song it is).
what do you do to SHUT THEM UP?!
RL sex is more about love and cuddling. She wants to please you and you want to please her.
Porn is just, cmon lets fuk dat puss so this neckbeard viewer who cant get puss can masterbate his selfmade fleshlight
I need your advice as I am about to do something drastic to change my sex. My parents are okay with me doing this, they understand and now some jackass therapist has to do a full diagnosis on me to see what I already know: That I'm a transsexual. This will take a long time and after that there are still 12 months of taking hormones and living as a fake woman (I'll still have what I don't want, a dick) before they even consider doing the operation. I saw on Jerry Springer once this guy who had body integrity identity disorder and wanted to lose his leg and he just sawed it off, then called paramedics. I'm thinking something similar, but can't bring myself to actually cutting off my dick and balls, since that would be slow and painful. Instead I am thinking of using my fathers gun to shoot myself in the dick and then quickly calling the ambulance. My question here is what is wisdom? Since I was more in to girls stuff as a kid I never truly took up my dads offer to learn how to shoot a pistol right. Don't get me wrong I know a little but even had I taken shooting lessons he wouldn't have taught me this. I'm afraid that if I first put my penis on the desk in example, there may be shrapnel from the bullet as well as from the table. I really need advice here. What would be the best way to do this? And don't try to talk me out of this. I'm very determined to change in to a woman. Not in a year, not in several years, no, today. Please help.
Hmm I think this is a set up. Why did she randomly ask what do you look like at the time requests were being made to send a picture. I'm calling bullshit on this, regretfully because this was funny af.
And in the end, what's most important? The rosey cheek of a new born child? A single petal flowing in the wind? Or the laugh of a human, struggling with life and it gives him his only respite from his worries.
You fucking tell me.
Good point and bloody well made.
You guys are wrong, its when a man and a woman engage in anal sex, then the man takes his penis and rubs it on the girls upper lip leaving a moustache.
After having anal sex, the man gave the woman a dirty sanchez.
So do you wanna have one ? Cause if you move to France you'll only have to buy the baguette cause you'll already have a nice moustache.