T-time for another edition of Cooking With Alice!
The show m-mods don't want you to see!
I h-hope you are ready f-for a good time!
T-todays tea is delicious, so enjoy it!
To those dolls contain the souls of tortured war orphans
Alice cooking!? It can't be, what have you got going for us tonight?
>>701307076 Going to use that two million pounds of potato bread you have stored?
Oh my, what a thread, WHAT A LOVELY, LOVELY THREAD!
W-we are going to be baking chicken tonight Fam!
I'm going to turn every line of dialogue from The Dark Knight Rises into a list of names.
For example, "You're a big guy." "For you." becomes...
>Yurrha Biguy, Phor U.,
Please, Alice, cook me up some tight fucking Baneposts.
OH CHRIST, What did you do to that poor pot?
But otherwise chickens nice.
M-my apartment isn't shitty, it's a r-really nice pent house.
>can't even tell the difference between skinny asian chick and men
G-go back to /pol/, cuck
>mfw I'm going to upload all of these .webms to Nicovideo just to see their reaction
>you can use both hands and jerk off on the chicken
S-so, I usually use "chicken shit", which you c-can google and buy off of amazon, b-but this is a recipe you can m-make with just n-normal spices!
/b/ seriously why are we allowing this faggy thread to happen?
I'm not vegan. I am vegetarian, but I'm thinking about going vegan.
Why does me not eating meat make you so upset? I was only asking a question, so don't pull out the 'vegans always shove veganism in your face' meme out.
its a nice apartment okay man
Alright, you win. you got me to google "chicken shit"
Also, what year is it?
Personally, I would add some oregano to that ensemble. But go on.
As w-well, sorry that I did n-not include the secret ingredient this time: Reeses Pieces.
Because deep down inside you know you love it. Now shut up and eat your damn chicken
Are you implying I'm a fucker that is a commie, or a fucker of commies.
I didn't. I asked a question about what Alice might prepare, the same way anyone else might ask the same question.
Did I say
>I'm a vegan, you should be, too, and you should never eat meat
No, I didn't fucking say that.
M-mix those ingredients much uhm....m-much better than I did!
If we must obtain pieces of Reese, where's the rest of him?
MY FRIDGE IS EMPTY!
I thought his ingredient was "suddenly leaveing for two years"
>mfw someone literally spent money on a camera, ingredients, and printed out Alice pics just to make threads on 4chan
Just when I thought autism couldn't be taken any further.
It's even worse when you realize that OP has been doing this since at least 2011.
I never said it makes me upset. What made me the most upset was people automatically hating me just because I don't eat meat, without me ever showing any hate for them.
>>I'm vegan, give me this medal please, I deserve this.
Nice strawman you fucking dipshit.
....T-the doctor...... why would....
N-now line your cooking box w-with wax parchment paper!
>wishing for that tired ass bullshit
I don't care how bad you think a thread is, it's better than Spiderman no matter what.
Did you mean to respond to me?
B-because I'm holding y-you here against your will! I c-can do that, apparently!
>tfw Cirno is going to get quints in this thread and then it'll all be about her
I was... more responding to alice's side... she was the one mak- You know what never mind it! joke failed, Try again later.
Because you want to enjoy the ride, but remember.
The ride. Never. Ends.
If you say so.
Hold on though.
It's a casserole dish.
N-now season the chicken evenly and thoroughly. And r-remember next time to do reshoots.
Also known as a c-cooking box. Everyone knows that.
Look a the reflection on the oven.
>Infinitely swooning over trap/fag/ small asian chick with wig
Edgy, you can use that to help Alice cut the chicken.
because it's the only good thing on /b/ right now besides all the faggot /s/fur /g/fur threads that are daily
Don't work, I often attempt to make jokes that, in the end, make me!
Thank you for making this post.
Unless anyone else wants to present some very amazing and logical arguments about why being a vegetarian makes me a faggot, I guess I'll be going.
you might be able to find me that list, I forgot where it came from. Austraya no.1 cunt
I'm still a little upset about the cooking box thing.
we should go to the pool together. that way we can both drown in shitty jokes.
It was you? Man of the hattan, you were a fagget from before you turned faggot.
It's a w-well understood term!
No you can stay, you're not the only one here.
This guy has too much chromosoms, ignore him.
do what you want, i'm not going to stop you from being a vegetarian
N-now fold the parchment paper over the chicken, so that it stays juicy and w-wet when it cooks! Since t-the chicken is skinless, we g-give it an artificial skin!
Non-Directional Laser here. My god, what have I created?
Isn't it a bit late in the day for tea?
But wait, wouldn't that also apply to oven,microwave and toaster?
W-wait till it's cooked!
Of c-course not!
Oh shit, I see it. There's a kitty.
Whatever you are, you're adorable.
Nah, broski, I meant like.
All of the world's ocean animals' piss and shit.
I don't really give a shit about plastic and shit.
beaches are for nerds and nudeists.
T-that is not a kitty, it is Nano! She is a d-dog.
i gotta stop getting stoned and listening to bob dylan
captcha always wants me to id grass, what are you hinting at cap
M-make sure to thoroughly cook t-the chicken, or you'll get sick!
This is it!
Eye will NOT be off by 1 when it counts the most!
If this post is quints, this thread is now a Cirno thread!
I would really hope everyone here already knows this.
It t-takes a non-zero amount of time t-to take a picture, you know!
Pretty sure that last leaning shot with the temperature gauge shows an adam's apple. Plus... you may be waif, but them fingers.
Further proof you are not female is the lack of tits or gtfo comments, as you are accepted as a weird mofo of a male by the fam.
Then its fine!, please keep cooking
Y-you realize there is a t-thing called a "dress" right? It d-doesn't exactly hug curves.
Intentionally being cringy, I can only hope.
AND you can actually eat pork raw. its still not a good idea.
Et voila! A h-healthy and tasty baked skinless chicken!
N-no I wasn't, silly
Well done, whatever you are. This was enjoyable. Have anything else for us?
Alice i love you, but i gotta be honest. that looks horrid.
God speed, you glorious faggot
A f-few more, you g-gotta be patient.
It t-tasted really good!
N-not quite done, b-but every two weeks I t-think.
D-dig in Anonymous. W-what do you want for a side? I h-have corm and sweer potato <4
*rolls her eyes* You c-can't stutter a vowel, dummy.
those man hands, shoulders and arms
get the fuck out of here
Did you consider searing it first? makes it even more tender.
T-they'd ask me w-why I was dressed like a m-man.
You don't think crossdressing is fancy as fuck?
Get out more, Anon, pic related.
Okay all, t-that was my show! I'll b-be back in two weeks, s-same time, s-same place <4
I'll also be running threads aiming at helping people at 8AM and 8PM EST all next week, so stop by if you need anything.
W-with all the love in m-my infinite heart,
E-Eye'm the strongest!
Given the choice, I vote corn.
I w-would do that if it was j-just for me, but I'm t-trying to teach Anonymous low cost, low effort healthy m-meals <4
Y-you can see me every morning before w-work <4
if I have enough time, I'll make a quicker, picture only thread next friday. WebM's take too long.
S-silly, I'll b-be here on Monday. Feel f-free to stop by!
Thanks for the food and entertainment, Alice. The friends weren't very friendly, but they tasted better than the food, no offense to your cooking.
I decided I'd save the epic amazing ultra funny kneeslapper for later.
You'll fucking love it, it'll make you bust a gut, or you'll just think it's stupid and ignore it, probably.
I'm going to piece this together to mean that Alice dressed you up as a cute french maid for her own enjoyment...
S-see you around Captain!
T-the food tasted great!
I'm n-not, sorry.
8AM and 8PM EST
Of c-course not! You s-should do that with someone you love <4
Oh s-silly. I'm just a s-symbol, n-not a person <4
You s-should look for someone who y-you can touch, and feel, and interact with <4
I'm not transgender, sorry. All equipment is stock, including hormones.
W-wouldn't you prefer I eat them w-with you?
Why do people pretend they're some mastermind detective that has extensive knowledge on sexual dimorphism whenever someone's gender comes into question?
You are not as cunning as you think yourself, no, not nearly.
M-my fingers are skeletal, m-my hands barely fit a small size of glove, my arms are bone thin d-due to malnutition, and I'm w-wearing a dress that makes it l-look like I have shoulder pads.
I've got nothing against you, and mean no offense, but don't call me something I'm not.
I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone else did the same.
Alice isn't even f-from an anime. *facepalms*
How m-much of a hypocrite can y-you be?
I'm sorry but that's the fucking dumbest thing I've ever read
i don't think i'll be able to find those ingredients where i live
N-no thank you. That w-won't prove anything, and it w-will only serve to degrade m-me for no reason.
well I had the snip duh
I guess I could get dressed in my cosplay outfit and make rockin home made empanadas and actually cook them and cut one open
if any one down for it?
>my arms are bone thin d-due to malnutition
WTF Alice. Eat something heavy and start taking better care of yourself. For fuck sake I actuallty enjoy your threads. What would happen if you slipped and broke a rib or something. Don't be selfish.
whaaat, i just put pepper and adobo
i give up
W-well, I spent almost all of m-my money helping Anonymous for five years. W-what do you expect?