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T-time for another edition of Cooking With Alice!
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 285
Thread images: 138
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T-time for another edition of Cooking With Alice!

The show m-mods don't want you to see!
>>
Let's go Alice, gonna be a great thread. I appreciate it.
>>
Bumping for awkwardness
>>
>>701307076
I'm ready to eat, Alice!
>>
My dick is rock hard.
>>
and here we go
>>
bumping to see how much of a loser you are
>>
>>701307076
bump i want fofoood
>>
I have no idea what's going on here.

...What's going on here?

Is this a cooking show?

>>701307288

...a lewd cooking show?
>>
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>>701307234
I h-hope you are ready f-for a good time!

T-todays tea is delicious, so enjoy it!
>>
>>701307076
I've never seen this before but all these faggots seem to be familiar with it.

Proceed, weab.
>>
>>701307076
why havent you taped the paper to your face so you can use both hands and jerk off on the chicken?
>>
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>>
good morning
>>
>drinking tea

ALllice you didn't tell me you were a gay
>>
>>701307387
something something pover-tea
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>>701307419
>>
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>>701307387
To those dolls contain the souls of tortured war orphans
>>
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>>701307552
>>701307568
I d-don't give a fuck!
>>
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>>701307076
Alice cooking!? It can't be, what have you got going for us tonight?
>>
>>701307076 Going to use that two million pounds of potato bread you have stored?
>>
>>701307673
wow mean im reporting you to the owner of aneki chat for bullying
>>
>>701307666
satan trips confirm?
>>
Oh my, what a thread, WHAT A LOVELY, LOVELY THREAD!
>>
I am unable to watch WebMs but I showed up anyway

Because why not?

-Sweet Roll
>>
>>701307731
W-we are going to be baking chicken tonight Fam!
>>
I'm going to turn every line of dialogue from The Dark Knight Rises into a list of names.
For example, "You're a big guy." "For you." becomes...
>Yurrha Biguy, Phor U.,
Please, Alice, cook me up some tight fucking Baneposts.
>>
>>701307825
>names

stop. this is still b.
>>
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>>701307829
OH CHRIST, What did you do to that poor pot?
But otherwise chickens nice.
>>
>>701307825
If you're on phone, download them and browse them in your gallery.
>>
>>701307076
Why the fuck would you do that...WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?
>>
>>701307829
>shitty apartment in NYC
>kitchen strill bnetter than mine

pls share
>>
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>>701307829
Holy fuck that was cute
>>
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How did I get here?
>>
>>701307829
you don't even pass as a trap its so obvious
>>
120 days till christmass
>>
>>701308136
Lern how 2 spoken engrish plox
>>
>>701308253
dude im fucking durnk as shit how about you fight me
>>
Itadakimaaaasu~
>>
>>701308136
M-my apartment isn't shitty, it's a r-really nice pent house.

>>701308191
>can't even tell the difference between skinny asian chick and men
G-go back to /pol/, cuck
>>
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>mfw I'm going to upload all of these .webms to Nicovideo just to see their reaction
>>
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>>701307419
>you can use both hands and jerk off on the chicken
>>
>>701308326
Any chance you might make something without meat at any point?
>>
>>701308293
fyt me u fugger xddd your durnk lelelelalllelelel
>>
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>>701308308
S-so, I usually use "chicken shit", which you c-can google and buy off of amazon, b-but this is a recipe you can m-make with just n-normal spices!
>>
>>701308326
it's small tho so get rekt
>>701308406
shut up you vegan faggot
>>701308433
duyde im going to fucking hold your hand you homo
>>
>>701308358
Who?
>>
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/b/ seriously why are we allowing this faggy thread to happen?
>>
>>701308557
I'm not vegan. I am vegetarian, but I'm thinking about going vegan.
Why does me not eating meat make you so upset? I was only asking a question, so don't pull out the 'vegans always shove veganism in your face' meme out.
>>
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chicken mang
>>
>>701307825
iOS? Download VLC. It's free an plays Webm. Yw
>>
>>701308649
tradition thats why
>>
>>701308557
its a nice apartment okay man
>>
>>701308455
Alright, you win. you got me to google "chicken shit"

Also, what year is it?
>>
>>701308406
Get the fuck out, you commie fucker.
>>701308557
Try me motherfucker I'll fucking make out with you, you flamboyant faggot.
>>
>>701308669
literally gay
>>701308728
fair enough
>>701308767
dude that's 100% straight
>>
>>701308669
Bu-but you just did what the meme says you guys do.
>>
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>>701308455
Personally, I would add some oregano to that ensemble. But go on.
>>
>>701308737
2016

As w-well, sorry that I did n-not include the secret ingredient this time: Reeses Pieces.
>>
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>>701308649
Because deep down inside you know you love it. Now shut up and eat your damn chicken
>>
>>701308767
Are you implying I'm a fucker that is a commie, or a fucker of commies.
>>701308811
Nope.
>>701308833
I didn't. I asked a question about what Alice might prepare, the same way anyone else might ask the same question.
Did I say
>I'm a vegan, you should be, too, and you should never eat meat
???
No, I didn't fucking say that.
>>
>>701308455
>chicken
>no tumeric

gay?
>>
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i need more pics
>>
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>>701308860
M-mix those ingredients much uhm....m-much better than I did!
>>
>>701308860
If we must obtain pieces of Reese, where's the rest of him?
>>
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!11!!1
MY FRIDGE IS EMPTY!
>>
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>>701308860
I thought his ingredient was "suddenly leaveing for two years"
>>
Not this faggotry again
>>
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>mfw someone literally spent money on a camera, ingredients, and printed out Alice pics just to make threads on 4chan

Just when I thought autism couldn't be taken any further.

It's even worse when you realize that OP has been doing this since at least 2011.
>>
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>>701308980
nice cups
>>
>>701308649
I keep asking myself why it isn't at least spiderman yet. I've seen some sad shit, but our lack of reaction to this thread tops it.
>>
>>701308962
>I'm not vegan. I am vegetarian, but I'm thinking about going vegan.
Why does me not eating meat make you so upset?
>I'm vegan, give me this medal please, I deserve this.
>>
>>701309020
D-don't know who "he" is; I'm a g-girl <4

>>701309077
T-thank you!

>>701309038
I already h-had all of that, silly!

>>701309031
Oh y-yes, this again!
>>
>>701308455
>>701308980
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tMKu7QknUV
>>
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>>701309038
Its been wild.
>>
>>701309124
I never said it makes me upset. What made me the most upset was people automatically hating me just because I don't eat meat, without me ever showing any hate for them.
>>I'm vegan, give me this medal please, I deserve this.
Nice strawman you fucking dipshit.
>>
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pillbox
>>
>>701309145
....T-the doctor...... why would....
>>
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this is a quality thread
>>
N-now line your cooking box w-with wax parchment paper!
>>
>>701309175
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Wuv3n7PEiH
>>
>>701309118
>wishing for that tired ass bullshit
I don't care how bad you think a thread is, it's better than Spiderman no matter what.
>>
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Why haven't I left this thread?
>>
>>701309351
Did you mean to respond to me?
>>
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I remember when I was a vegan, what a mistake
>>
>>701309432
no leaving the table until you've eaten your chicken
>>
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>>701309432
B-because I'm holding y-you here against your will! I c-can do that, apparently!
>>
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>tfw Cirno is going to get quints in this thread and then it'll all be about her

GENIUS
>>
>>701309556
>yfw alice is holding me at gunpoint in anekichat
>>
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>>701309446
I was... more responding to alice's side... she was the one mak- You know what never mind it! joke failed, Try again later.
>>
>>701309514
I cared about animals once. I wouldn't recommend it!
>>
>>701309432
Because you want to enjoy the ride, but remember.

The ride. Never. Ends.
>>
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>>701309556
If you say so.

Hold on though.
Cooking box?

>cooking box

It's a casserole dish.
>>
there is no sense in trying
>>
N-now season the chicken evenly and thoroughly. And r-remember next time to do reshoots.
>>
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>>701307829
GUYS.
Look a the reflection on the oven.
>Infinitely swooning over trap/fag/ small asian chick with wig
>>
>>701309371
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Q0AJbhuPzw
>>
>>701309708
Edgy, you can use that to help Alice cut the chicken.
>>
>>701309821
You forgot to take the Brexit data off your screenshot brah, prepare to be doxxed
>>
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OP please notice me
>>
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>>701308649
because it's the only good thing on /b/ right now besides all the faggot /s/fur /g/fur threads that are daily
>>
>>701309701
Don't work, I often attempt to make jokes that, in the end, make me!
>>
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>>701309903
i can't see shit ya cunt mutt
>>
>>701308980
Worst Tasty video ever.
>>
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>>701309946
Thank you for making this post.
Unless anyone else wants to present some very amazing and logical arguments about why being a vegetarian makes me a faggot, I guess I'll be going.
>>
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>>701309926
you might be able to find me that list, I forgot where it came from. Austraya no.1 cunt
>>
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>>701310087
>>
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>>701309827
I'm still a little upset about the cooking box thing.
>>
>>701309993
we should go to the pool together. that way we can both drown in shitty jokes.
>>
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>>701310087
It was you? Man of the hattan, you were a fagget from before you turned faggot.
>>
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>>701310087
No you can stay, you're not the only one here.
This guy has too much chromosoms, ignore him.
>>
>>701310200
>>
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>>701310087
do what you want, i'm not going to stop you from being a vegetarian
>>
>>701310305
N-now fold the parchment paper over the chicken, so that it stays juicy and w-wet when it cooks! Since t-the chicken is skinless, we g-give it an artificial skin!
>>
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>>701307387

Non-Directional Laser here. My god, what have I created?

Isn't it a bit late in the day for tea?
>>
>>701310305
Why not go to the beach instead, so we can also drown in the world's marine waste?
>>
>>701310452
Fuck off greenpeace
>>
>>701310327
>>701309827
Oh snap! Almost missed an Alice Thread. Did you toss that nasty ass burnt up pan yet? Also I'd really love to see your cooking box.
>>
>>701310427
That looks amazing!
>>
>>701310327
But wait, wouldn't that also apply to oven,microwave and toaster?
>>
>>701310411
He just asked a question about some ingredients and you came being a total asshole.
>>
>>701310571
N-no.

>>701310568
W-wait till it's cooked!

>>701310560
Of c-course not!
>>
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>>701309903
Oh shit, I see it. There's a kitty.

>>701310427
Whatever you are, you're adorable.
>>
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>>701310533
Nah, broski, I meant like.

All of the world's ocean animals' piss and shit.

I don't really give a shit about plastic and shit.
>>
>>701310452
beaches are for nerds and nudeists.
>>
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i gotta stop getting stoned and listening to bob dylan

captcha always wants me to id grass, what are you hinting at cap
>>
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M-make sure to thoroughly cook t-the chicken, or you'll get sick!
>>
>>701310785
>that image
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ebi4uND1rj
>>
>>701307076
Is this is a guy Im going to get really mad and sad
>>
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>>701311019
N-no, I'm f-female.
>>
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This is it!

Eye will NOT be off by 1 when it counts the most!

If this post is quints, this thread is now a Cirno thread!
>>
>>701311019
Why you can't fuck her either way
>>
>>701310949
herro, is there a blog I can get more at?
>>
>>701310949
But that only says 158.9...

Damnit Alice! Get your shit together!
>>
>>701311104
you fucked up
>>
>>701310949
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15eqUFgrUN4
captcha you can't tell me to click street signs when the picture is clearly the prices at a gas station that's not a street sign
>>
>>701310949
I would really hope everyone here already knows this.
>>
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>>701311155
It t-takes a non-zero amount of time t-to take a picture, you know!
>>
>>701310087
Being a vegetarian doesn't make you a fa99ot, sucking dick does.
>>
>>701308649
*grabs you by the ear and twists. hard* Be nice to Alice or i'll rip your cock n balls off with an angle grinder, kiddo.

Im sorry Alice, please continue.
>>
>>701311104
Alice, could you add some Cirno into the dish, please?
>>
I'm still here apparently

Not that it really makes a difference

-Sweet Roll
>>
>>701311262
but what if it's feminine dick
>>
>>701311262
faggot
>>
>>701311181
Naw man, you can actually use chicken as an alternative to fish when making sushi
>>
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>>701311104
>>
>>701311252
I have no clue why but these videos are triggering my ASMR. Keep going pls, I love tingles.
>>
>>701311076
Pretty sure that last leaning shot with the temperature gauge shows an adam's apple. Plus... you may be waif, but them fingers.

Further proof you are not female is the lack of tits or gtfo comments, as you are accepted as a weird mofo of a male by the fam.
>>
>>701311262
Shut up, cuck.
>>
>>701311155
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15eqUFgrUN4
>>
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>>701311303
>>
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>>701311104

>off by 7
>>
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>>701311076
Then its fine!, please keep cooking
>>
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>>701311450
Y-you realize there is a t-thing called a "dress" right? It d-doesn't exactly hug curves.
>>
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>>701311303
Intentionally being cringy, I can only hope.
>>
>>701307076
Yayy, I missed you Alice :) even if you are a trap
>>
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>>701311402
AND you can actually eat pork raw. its still not a good idea.
>>
>>701311252

Yeah yeah. Blame the camera and time. Whatever, I'd still eat. Fuck I'm hungry.

Have a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsrfovOPcjk
>>
>>701311464
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIaUfBjHjpI
>>
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>>701311557
Et voila! A h-healthy and tasty baked skinless chicken!
>>
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>>701311499

>99

BAKA
>>
>>701309827
this gets me hard
I like girls that cook
>>
You know... i fucking stick around in these threads just hoping something weird i can jack off to ends it.

Do something lewd, OP.
>>
>>701310949
But you were wearing something else in the other picture....Illuminati confirmed.
>>
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>>701311362
I got this one.
>>
>>701311620
Eh, depends on what you want out of your meal.
>>
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>>701311667
Well done, whatever you are. This was enjoyable. Have anything else for us?
>>
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>>701311667
Alice i love you, but i gotta be honest. that looks horrid.
>>
>>701311667
Would eat and enjoy. Thanks for killing another hour of my life before I go out and destroy my liver Alice! Same time next week?
>>
>>701311881
Trichonosis, of course.
>>
>>701307076
God speed, you glorious faggot
>>
i learned to hate russians
>>
>>701311940
A f-few more, you g-gotta be patient.

>>701311949
It t-tasted really good!

>>701311975
N-not quite done, b-but every two weeks I t-think.
>>
>>701311667
Bravo! Thank you alice!
>>
A-And now, the m-main course!
>>
>>701311667
This is the best looking chicken I have seen and I dont even like chiken, Im going to try it, thanks Alice
>>
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D-dig in Anonymous. W-what do you want for a side? I h-have corm and sweer potato <4
>>
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>>
>>701311667
what would your parents say if they saw you crossdressing as an anime girl in their kitchen making chicken
>>
>>701312069
I shall be there then. You are helping make /b/ great again.
>>
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>>701312140
>>
>>701309827
>>701311904
Riiiiight here
>>
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>>701308980
>>701309365
>>701309827
those man hands, shoulders and arms

get the fuck out of here
>>
>>701312176
Can I have you as a side dish?
>>
>>701312179
You can't call alice a nigger, you cunt.
>>
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>>701312069
Did you consider searing it first? makes it even more tender.
>>
>>701312140
holy freaking hell, alice is stacked

STACKED
>>
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>>701312207
You don't think crossdressing is fancy as fuck?
Get out more, Anon, pic related.
>>
>>701312284
I-I-I I beg to d-differ
>>
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Gonna try this shit out...now I just need a cookbox
>>
>>701312176
God Damn jiggaboo nigger, fuck off
>>
>>701312403
I'm sure they'd understand, you glorious winged faggot.

But seriously I love your threads Alice.
>>
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>>
Okay all, t-that was my show! I'll b-be back in two weeks, s-same time, s-same place <4

I'll also be running threads aiming at helping people at 8AM and 8PM EST all next week, so stop by if you need anything.

W-with all the love in m-my infinite heart,
Alice2
>>
>>701312322
dont be rude. its rude.
>>
E-Eye'm the strongest!
>>
>>701312176
>is it good for you too
Is it normal for me to have an erection right now
>>
>>701312482
Wonder Bra and arched back.

>>701312140
No offense.
>>
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>>701312176
>sweer potato
Given the choice, I vote corn.
>>
>>701312176
>>701312176
>>701312176
>>701312176
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NWln6ESvjL
>>
>>701312607
Let alice suck whatever she wants!
>>
>>701312377
I w-would do that if it was j-just for me, but I'm t-trying to teach Anonymous low cost, low effort healthy m-meals <4
>>
>>701312636
thanks! bye!
>>
>>701312636
Damn two weeks is too long, glad I managed to chatch this thread
Love you Alice
>>
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>>701312636
>>
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>>
>>701311456
I don't even date. Literally impossible for me to be a cuckold. Do you even use ur hedmeats b4 you poast, or just think ur edgy? Fink again.
>>
OP is a dude lol
>>
>>701312636
Bye Alice. See you in 2 weeks.
>>
>>701312607
>>701312636
it goes with out saying
>>
>>701312636
>>
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Till next time. MOONMANN BLASTING OFF
>>
>>701312821
Y-you can see me every morning before w-work <4

if I have enough time, I'll make a quicker, picture only thread next friday. WebM's take too long.

>>701312889
S-silly, I'll b-be here on Monday. Feel f-free to stop by!
>>
>>701312880
See
>>701312140
>>
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Thanks for the food and entertainment, Alice. The friends weren't very friendly, but they tasted better than the food, no offense to your cooking.
I decided I'd save the epic amazing ultra funny kneeslapper for later.
You'll fucking love it, it'll make you bust a gut, or you'll just think it's stupid and ignore it, probably.
>>
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>>701312636
>est
>my timezone
Nice. Take care.
>>
>>701312852
You're a Cunt.
>>
OP is a dude lol

but I did the same thing last year, made lasagna dressed as a french maid so who am I to judge
>>
Can I have you for dessert, Alice?
>>
>>701312995
What time then? I'll make sure to do so.
>>
>>701312636
Bye Alice thanks for the thread! :3
>>
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>>701313076
I'm going to piece this together to mean that Alice dressed you up as a cute french maid for her own enjoyment...
>>
>>701313052
S-see you around Captain!

>>701313041
T-the food tasted great!

>>701313076
I'm n-not, sorry.

>>701313116
8AM and 8PM EST

>>701313109
Of c-course not! You s-should do that with someone you love <4
>>
>>701312176
I'll take some corm, nigger.
>>
>>701313208
But I love you Alice
>>
>>701313208
>I'm n-not, sorry.
yeah I can tell a fellow mtf from a mile off
>>
>>701313297
Oh s-silly. I'm just a s-symbol, n-not a person <4
You s-should look for someone who y-you can touch, and feel, and interact with <4

>>701313330
I'm not transgender, sorry. All equipment is stock, including hormones.
>>
>tfw Alice will never suck your dick while you eat her meals
>>
>>701313457
At Least kiss me through the computer...
>>
>>701313457
>I'm not transgender
could have fooled me with those hands, arms, and neck, and shoulder width
>>
>>701313595
You'd be kissing a monitor, anon.
>>
also fyi from a tranny, check to see if the "girls" shoulders are wider then their hips, its the trans giveaway
>>
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>>701313573
>>
>>701313612
Why do people pretend they're some mastermind detective that has extensive knowledge on sexual dimorphism whenever someone's gender comes into question?
You are not as cunning as you think yourself, no, not nearly.
>>
>>701313678
Fuck you. I do what I want.
>>
>>701313624
afterwards if there's time
>>
>>701313573
Learn to share food Anon.
>>
>>701313612
M-my fingers are skeletal, m-my hands barely fit a small size of glove, my arms are bone thin d-due to malnutition, and I'm w-wearing a dress that makes it l-look like I have shoulder pads.

I've got nothing against you, and mean no offense, but don't call me something I'm not.

I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone else did the same.
>>
>>701313776
I never said you can't kiss your monitor, if that's your thing, go for it.
>>
>>701313771
well since I am one I can spot one with ease, specially and anime lover with male noodle arms is a dead giveaway
>>
>>701313829
lets see your vagina then
>>
>>701313929
Alice isn't even f-from an anime. *facepalms*

How m-much of a hypocrite can y-you be?
>>
>>701314012
>being this desperate
>>
>>701311126
tom?
>>
>>701313745
I'm sorry but that's the fucking dumbest thing I've ever read
>>
>>701314012
Fucking degenerate.
>>
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i don't think i'll be able to find those ingredients where i live
>>
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>>701314105
not desperate, ill show mine
>>
>>701314226
the fuck do you live, the moon?
>>
>>701314012
N-no thank you. That w-won't prove anything, and it w-will only serve to degrade m-me for no reason.
>>
>>701313829
Alice is for love, dont let those embittered persons upset you Alice.
>>
>>701314186
name of grill?
>>
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>>701314257
>no penis
>>
>>701314257
>No timestamp
Do you take us for fools, anon?
>>
>>701314257

Timestamp or gtfo
>>
Nooooo! I missed the Alice thread! Damnit!
>>
>>701314379
Girlstan Dingnu de' Model, she's famous
>>
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>>701314323
i live next to the moon on earth
>>
>>701313208
I need to make sure I get the day and time for your threads, I don't want to miss nexttime
>>
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>>701314402
well I had the snip duh
I guess I could get dressed in my cosplay outfit and make rockin home made empanadas and actually cook them and cut one open
if any one down for it?
>>
>>701313829
>my arms are bone thin d-due to malnutition

WTF Alice. Eat something heavy and start taking better care of yourself. For fuck sake I actuallty enjoy your threads. What would happen if you slipped and broke a rib or something. Don't be selfish.
>>
One day, I'm going to marry Alice.
>>
>>701314465
It'll be archived anon, do not worry.>>701314656
>>701314656
It's going to be on September 9th, at 8PM EST.
>>
>>701314656
I feel the same, I just landed on this thread by coincidence
>>
>>701307076
YOU'RE BACK!
Sweet.
>>
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>>701308455
whaaat, i just put pepper and adobo

i give up
>>
>>701314754
Bitch I will kill you. Alice is my hoe. Gonna make her my 1# Bottom Bitch.
>>
>>701314889
Alice is for cute, not for sexual.
>>
>>701314741
W-well, I spent almost all of m-my money helping Anonymous for five years. W-what do you expect?
>>
>>701314978
Motha' fucka' Alice is for whatever I decide she is for!
>>
>>701314778
Archived where?
Are they all?
Please...
>>
>>701314257
TIMESTAMP
>>
>>701315008
Alice I love you
>>
>>701315008
I expect you to keep making my happy with your threads! SO eat damn burger once in a while or I'm gonna get pissed.
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