Best of Troll Physics

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread images: 90

Best of Troll Physics

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>>701272685

lost

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>>701272849

I'm trying this one tmrw

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>>701272900

KEK

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>>701273093

lol this one is pretty interesting. I will ask my professor about it. Information travvels faster than speed of light in this case what is paradoxal.

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what a cancer

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>>701273678

yeah;, most of them, I'm leaving

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>>701272626

>>>/9gag/

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>>701273355

since the sticks have so much mass, a lot of energy would be required to move them "instantaneously"

probably enough energy to create a singularity...

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>>701273355

the matter wouldnt bahave this way. The stick would kind of "bend" an wouldnt move instantaneously like implied in the picture.

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The only ones I find funny/enjoy are the ones that seem possible. It makes you think, until you realize it's too ridiculous.

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This thread is funnier than all ylyl threads in the last 363 weeks.

:^)

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>>701272714

This one actually made me think

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>>701273232

Unfortunately, too many people actually put this into practice.

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>>701274754

>>

This thread is funnier than any YLYL thread I've ever seen

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>>701273232

If you had infinite SSN's this would work.

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>>701273131

well this works, it just needs to be higher up, its called a Dyson sphere

its a theoretical construction to harvest energy and NASA is looking for this in the universe as a sign of advanced civilisations

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>>701274780

i aint no fisicist but why woud it not work?

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>>701275658

Africa does not have freezers because it is too hot! What a bunch of nerds!

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>>701273039

tfw that's my surname and now I'm triggered

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>>701274937

I'm pretty convinced it could definitively work out as crazy as it sounds.

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>>701273355

If you could somehow muster up enough force to move a stick that massive the movement of the stick would move like a wave through the stick slower than the speed of light.

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>>701273952

This one is legitimately fucking with my head

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>>701272685

Because most bullets are made of lead and lead is not affected by magnetic fields.

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>>

>>701276157

It doesn't work. Only one guy makes $10

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>>701272714

This would work if the mirror was built 20 years before you did this.

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>>701276157

There one guy pays $50 total.

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>>701272749

Knives can go deeper than band aids can heal... And niggers can shank really fast.

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>>701276051

Water will push on the seal with more force than the archimedes force of the balls. Add more balls - water level gets higher, pressure gets higher. Water wins every time.

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>>701273355

My understanding is that the "information" travels at the same speed as the speed of sound in the material. Sound is a wave and so is the movement of the stick.

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>>701273131

Doing this anywhere within earth's gravitational pull wouldn't work. The weight of the rope would exceed the force needed to rip it in half, and in trying to pick up slack, you would be breaking it often. Steel cable could only get you about a mile or two without supports before snapping under its own drag.

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I like the "genius" who's debunking these. Get over yourself pal

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>>701273355

the speed of "push" is almost equal to the speed of sound, no it would not be instant, the particles still have to push other particles within whatever it is that you have applied force to

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>>701276365

Add more layers of band aid to prevent deep cuts. Band aid win every time.

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>>701276157

one of them actually loses $10

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>>701276234

no re

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>>701272900

this one actually worked for me but it wasn't from so far up

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>>701276550

those are the actual ylyls of these threads

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>>701273355

> I will ask my professor about it.

> How to make myself a complete retard in front of my professor

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>>701276479

Then how rockets move faster than sound if they move as wave and wave is speed of sound?

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>>701273952

I can see the point of most of these, but how is giving out 50 $ to receive 40$ a troll/trick?

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This one actually works

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These remind me of my train of thought when I was like 7

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>>701276171

I wanna see your degree that says you know shit about magnets.

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>>701273355

Think of any movement on the stick as a propagating shockwave, traveling somewhere in the region as the speed of sound

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what the fuck almost none of these retarded bullshit would work in real life

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>>701276936

>tfw mormon

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>>701277064

u sure?

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>>701277064

Haha you dumbass READ THE PICTCURE it says it can woRk!!

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>>701276051

What makes this not work?

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>>701276936

JUGGALO U

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>>701273810

>durr hurr cansr

>saves thumbnail of reaction image

i hope its normal for irony to sting you like this

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>>701273983

kek

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>>701274754

you would see yourself as you are... 20 years later.

as in the mirror wouldn't even show up, looking out from here, until its been sitting out there long enough for the light bouncing off it to reach us

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>>701277064

They actually work fine.

I've tried most of them and I'm a millionaire so far.

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>>701273355

the keyword is rigidness, a real stick would not be rigid enough for it to work, in fact the stick would have to be perfectly rigid

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>>701277330

Don't tell him that, it'll give our secret away

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>>701272714

>build big mirror in space

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>>701277433

Mason has 3 corners troll has 3 kinds of consonants coincendents i think not

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>>701277433

I patented most of them, especially the ones who brings money...

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>>701274780

This could work

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>>701272626

I never really understood why this wouldn't work - I know it's illegal, but how exactly would they catch you? At most, all they'd know is that the letter came from somewhere in a general area, likely spanning a couple of neighborhoods.

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>>701277726

Yeah, I understand it!

Pass the pipe man.

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>>701272849

This is actually true. If it becomes cost effective to fusion up some synthetic gold, it could actually devalue its naturally forming twin. This would happen sometime in the far future. Unless companies are able to pull off some dumbfuck marketing campaign where they can charge more for the naturally occurring one.

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>>701276258

really this does not work ?!? You don't say

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>>701272900

This one actually works, at least a little bit.

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>>701277861

topkek

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>>701275596

Because the forces are equal in each direction (Newtons third law)

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>>701277861

that's not really troll

there is a caterpillar who does that

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>>701272929

This would work assuming that you could travel for free, but it would take millions to start and your profit margin would be less than 1%.

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>>701273888

0^0 = 1

what's the joke here?

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>>701277957

Is there even a reason to do so? Gold doesnt have that many uses, and cheap synthetic gold will absolutely ruin the only reason that makes gold valuable - rarity. It would just become shit metal that nobody wants, excxcept for electronic industry, and even they dont need much.

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>>701273232

this is the financial equivalent of the "crystal experiment" that produces mustard gas

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>>701277097

this should be how it's done except with real extraction and storage

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>>701277933

Fuck this cunt is right about this one

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>>701273888

You have defined 0 as Root0 of X

You then divide by Root0 of X

You are dividing by 0

Your calculation thereafter is void

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>>701273888

If the 0th root of x equals 0, it can't be a denominator. Dividing anything by 0, even 0, is undefined.

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>>701278672

>repeat to infinity

still wouldn't be perfectly round

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>>701273952

My brain imploded.

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>>701278851

Still would be 4. And no closer to 3.141597

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>>701275183

Don't say that word - it attracts the bananas

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>>701278672

wow you're an idiot.

Good thing summers about over, have fun in school.

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>>701279042

please be pretending

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>>701272954

Can someone tell me why this wouldn't initially work, regarding lowering shipping weight?

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>>701279251

Prove me wrong then

>pro tip you cant

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>>701279414

Lowering shipping weight is logical, but making it float is retarded. You would get called a retard and refused any services.

>>

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>>701279638

still lower shipping weight=cheaper shipping

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>>701272650

Sorry but it's not the vacuum of space that causes the weightlessness it's the distance from the planet or anything else with enough mass to have a noticeable gravitational pull. The effect of the vacuum would only be you suffocating or your house collapsing from outside pressure. And you couldn't even scream for help because sound doesn't move through a vacuum.

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>>701278789

No you idiot, 0^0 is 1. Anything raised to the power of zero is one.

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>>701276737

There is a constant propellant so they accelerate

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>>701279912

are you saying it wouldn't work???

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>>701280317

This is the stupidest thing I've seen in my entire life

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>>701279414

Other problem is going to be mass. Bigger parcel here = higher initial cost.

Might not be that way elsewhere, but it'd be cheaper to mail 1 well-wrapped potato here than 1 potato and 5 helium balloons.

Other than that, the logic is sound.

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>>701272685

Because strong magnets near the brain mess with synapses and you lose control of your movements. Only very strong magnets do this, but you would need an incredibly strong magnet to move a projectile traveling at that velocity also that soldier with the magnet could no longer fire his own gun or even hold it whilst it contained ammo. And all that is ignoring the fact that it would only work on bullets coated in magnetic metals such as the full metal jacket because lead isn't magnetic.

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>>701280454

it sure is

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>>701274780

>>701277726

The metal isn't just attracted to the magnet, the magnet is also attracted to the metal, making the net force 0

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>>701278789

>>701278820

the calculation becomes invalid sooner, the 0-th root of x is not defined, as it would be like raising x to the power of (1/0) which is not defined

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>>701272988

>cars emit carbon dioxide

Kek

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>>701274780

>>701277726

>>701280865

the magnet and metal would just meet in the middle

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>>701277933

Maybe not right now, but I'm going to come back and prove this wrong with math

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>>701277933

take Calc II

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>>701272714

That's gotta be one fucking big mirror

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>>701272849

you wouldn't have a kilo of pure gold though. It would weigh slightly less because of the missing atoms.

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>>701279318

this is what you do when you need to find the area beneath a graph.. you divide it into rectangles and repeat to infinity, basically. So this wouldn't be too stupid, and you would approach 4 as you approach infinity in amount of times you've removed the corners

>>

And that's about it, my trollphisics folder from 2008

Feel free to contribute if you got more ;^)

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>>701277957

>thinking people will still give a shit about gold when we are able to "fusion up" stuff

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>>701272714

This is actually half true.

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>>701281142

true. it would weigh roughly 0.00000000000000000000000002 kg less. not worth it then.

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>>701281142

not really. If anything the extra electrons would make it weigh slightly more and make it a negatively charged ion.

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>>701272900

This is similar to jumping out of a fall g elevator at the last minute. There's actually some truth to it.

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>>701281404

yes, the part where you can get a telescope

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>>701272849

Substitute "particle accelerator" for "theezers" and this works.

Except you have radioactive gold

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>>701281646

Theory is sound. Chances of it working are pretty remote, but if there was no other choice...

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>>701273852

this one is hilarious

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>>701273093

A cable carrying electricity would make more sense. Since the wire is filled with electrons pushing each other, one push from the first electron would move the electrons at the end of the cable at the same time. It could light a light bulb and send Morse code.

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>>701277771

how would this actually work, pretty sure stick would only move at speed of light anyways

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>>701281096

either explain it, or fuck off.. no one's falling for your "you're an idiot but i'm not going to explain why" bullshit

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>>701274937

Furry 'art'

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>>701282399

This

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>>701282080

electrons move at less than the speed of light you fucking ignorant piece of shit

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>>701273167

This would work if u were outside the Atmosphere.

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>>701276157

Assume at the start they both have $20 for a total of $40.

>Both put $20 in box.

A = $0 B = $0.

>Guy A sells the box to B.

A = $30 B = -$30

>Guy B opens box and gets the $40 inside

A = $30 B = $10

Same amount of money in the end, but B loses $10.

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>>701272988

top gear did this

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>>701282080

well done professor

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>>701277064

hahahaha you fucking idiot they literally all work

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>>701282837

your assumption is flawed. If they both start with 20, where did B get the 30 to buy the box?

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>>701282780

Even if they move as slow as a snail, the last electron in the cable would reach the end at the very same moment the one at the start of the cable starts to move. THE CABLE IS FILLED WITH ELECTRONS DAMMIT. Pic. related.

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>>701276350

>Dolphins

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>>701282364

Well the stick would just be insanely long, but would only need to travel that inch or whatever to poke whoever was on the other end. So the stick would just travel at whatever speed you we're moving it.. but the "information", if you for example used morse my poking, would travel faster than the speed of light.. in theory.. i think.. but of course in practice, it would need an insane amount of energy to move that stick, so I don't really now how it would work in practice

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>>701281180

>area BENEATH a graph

so shouldn't we be using a square INSIDE the circle?

we could - and that square's circumference would definitely not be constant, but instead growing - and hopefully converging against something.

the problem is that that something is not 4.

but rather, pi.

I could go into detail but it really takes literally 2 hours to explain and mathematically prove every part. I literally held lectures about this in university.

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>>701282399

This is actually a proof used in Calculus II, for something unrelated but still, so whoever said this probably took Calc II and thought it would be fun to fuck with people online.

As you infinitely reduce the area between the square and the circle by half, you create infinite boxes times 2. Disc Integration and Integrals shows us this.

http://www2.bc.cc.ca.us/resperic/Math6A/Lectures/ch6/2/disk.htm

http://www.intmath.com/applications-integration/2-area-under-curve.php

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>>701282780

>>701283438

a more illustrating pic.

>>

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>>701283197

I felt something was off but couldn't pinpoint it.

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>>701282399

>>701283549

This plus the links I provided in my last post should be sufficient to explain it

http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~ma120/FTC.jpg

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>>701282399

Not any of these posters, but the reason it isn't 4 is because repeating this process to infinity does not make it perfectly round. An polygon with an infinite number of sides is still not a circle, even though the diagram makes it seem that way

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>>701279912

You have to go really fucking far to be weightless because of lack of any noticable gravity. You feel weightlessness because you're in constant freefall in space.

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>>701283463

but if you use like a plastic stick it wouldn't weigh almost nothing think of a ping pong ball its plastic too and almost weightless

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It would break under it's own weight

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>>701276350

Not infinite energy, but waking up to the bathroom at night, if you close one eye then you can have an easier way finding your way back when finished.

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>>701283820

he doesn't get it, I tried

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>>701283124

Well.. My simple point does make the discussion made out of this post >>701273355 rather pointless. I'm not saying it would work thou.

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>>701276710

and you want to stop him doing that because??

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>>701284143

Not in zero g

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>>701284033

A stick that is that long would not move as a single object, which is counter intuitive because we don't interact with sticks that are long enough to make the lag time noticeable. Normally the energy we put on one end of a stick takes an absolutely immeasurable time to reach the other end when it's only a foot long. But when it's going to Mars, the the other end of the stick would take much much slower than the speed of light to feel any sort of force you put on your end.

It's not like the atoms of objects are physically touching, it's all just a series of electromagnetic pulses from atom to the next. Nothing is truly "solid", every atom is disconnected from each other and so it takes time for the effects of force to propagate from one atom to another.

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>>701283725

The troll bit is that A puts in 20, B puts in 20. A then has a with 40. B buys it for 30. So A spent 20 on the box, but got 30 so hes up 10. B put 20 in at start, the spent 30, so hes out 50, but the box has 40, so he only 10 out now.

TL;DR B basically just ends up giving A 10.

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>>701283549

dis be mah nigga

>>701283820

Breh

It works if you take a regular 2^n-nom.

The area p_n of that polynom then is p_n= 2^(n+1) h_n sqrt(1-(h_n)^2 ), with h_1= 0.5*sqrt2 and h_(n+1)= sqrt((1+h_n)/2).

Then, p_n is a converging series, and lim(n to infty) p_n is pi.

>>

>>701281646

nope

you would have to jump that fast and strong to bring negative g-force from the elevator to positive. thats too much force you will be crushed

>>

>>701272650

vacuum = weightlessness

>being this dense

>>

>>701284349

The less educated are much more easily swayed by picture representations than by logical and mathematical processes, unfortunately

>>

>>701275413

A dyson sphere supports its own weight by leaning on the other half which is pulled in the other direction. A soft material like the rope would'n even curve with the earth while pulled.

>>

>>701277097

does work.

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>>701280717

How fucking strong are we talking here? I can only presume it doesn't happen in MRI and that's like 3T.

>>

>>701283529

"converging", thanks I couldn't remember what is was called. And I see what you're saying, but i honestly don't see the difference between wether the square is inside or outside the circle

? (I'm not a math genius, but I have studied it on a fairly high level). But all I see here is the amount of times we cut the corners going towards infinity and thus the perimeter of the square converging towards the circumference of the circle, being pi of course, while the perimeter is still 4.. i'm not saying you're wrong, because of course this can't be true, i'm just saying that I personally don't see what is wrong in this approach of the problem or my idea with comparing it to how we find the area beneath a graph

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>>701284669

Feel free to explain to us all why you're wrong then. Unless you actually believe you're right and there is a legitimate mathematical paradox here?

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>>701284677

Elevators don't fall as fast as you think they do. Part of the design is that they create a cushion of air underneath them, slowing he fall.

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>>701272714

How you supposed to get the mirror 10 light years away instantly to see 20 years in the past?

Checkmate atheists

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>>701272780

>>701272954

>>701277805

will stores actually give you money if you get a negative price throught coupons and such? i feel that i have seen the people in this get a negative price before

https://youtu.be/2NKDssz5vh4

>>

>>701285084

Portals bro

>>

>>701278530

Unreactive metals are always useful

Gold doesn't have many uses because its rare as fuck, but gold makes some quality alloys

>>

>>701285084

doesn't have to be instantly, however, has to be they're very very very very fast

>>

>>701279414

the company I work for do a size to mass conversion so big but light parcels get charged more than small parcels of the same weight.

and then they do retarded shit and fuck it up

>>

>>701285160

never :(

>>

>>701279938

Wrong. It's undefined. All other numbers to the power of zero are one though.

>>

>>701284474

there is still the entire section between the ground and zero-g that would break

>>

>>701281646

Nah, If you're falling at 100 mph and you jump you're only decreasing your fall speed by the speed you'd gain from jumping, so like 4 mph? There was a concept train that travelled 200+ mph and would shoot passengers inside these pods the opposite direction at the same speed as the train was traveling effectively cancelling out the momentum letting people get off the train, Mythbusters did It I think

>>

>>701284852

>my idea with comparing it to how we find the area beneath a graph

I think what you're thinking of is the Riehmann integral, and that's only a thing if the lower sums (rectangles you mentioned) and the upper sum (slightly taller rectangles) converge against the same number.

same with the circle - only if the inner and outer squares converge against the same number, either (or rather, both) are actually pi.

>>701284926

see above. the series presented in the pic is only half the proof - it proves that 4 is an upper bound for pi.

now if you found a series of squares INSIDE the circle, which also happened to converge to 4, then the pic would be proof that pi=4.

protip - you can't find such a series because "pi=4" is false.

simple proof for "pi < 4"

instead of cutting off squares from the corners, cut the corners diagonally. now circumference suddenly is less than 4. qed.

>>

>>701277224

When the balls push trough the seal they lift water up. They do the same work as they recieve back when floating up (actually they get back less work when you consider losses)

>>

>>701273269

My autistic friend once asked me if the sun hit negative temps at night. He was really disappointed.

>>

>>701274780

this would work but the magnet would need retractable pikes and each time the vehicle was attracted the magnet the magnet would have to be shut off and places farther ahead by the crane and pikes planted again and repeat

>>

>>701273093

The motion will move along the stick at the speed of sound, it's actually a slow as fuck way of communicating

>>

https://discordapp.com/invite/pebZj

Best of virtual troll

>>

>>701285880

Makes sense, thanks for explaining. I can only hope that you don't also browse /sci/, because that board is total shit

>>

YES Ive been waiting this kind of threat for years

pls post more

>>

>>

>>701286276

not really no.

its worse.

I'm a maths teacher IRL

>>

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>>701286202

like in a mag-lev train??

>>

>>701281492

It would actually lose about 1.25% of its mass I think which would be 12.5 grams or 437.50â‚¬

>>

>>701273039

i tried this when i was 5

>>

>>701286513

this thread seems to be full of math and physics teachers tbh fam

>>

>>701275596

Clearly aren't educated either judging by your spelling

>>

>>701281646

it wouldnt fuckin work

an elevator is different because you dont have the strength to move it when you jump up, if you tried it with a chair it would just hit the ground slightly faster and youd hit the ground at the same speed

>>

>>701283810

This is all well and good and I know how to calculate the area under a curve using integration, and how to apply it to three dimensional object thus calculating the volume of the object.. but i do not see how any of this proves the image wrong.. (but thank you though for actually providing information, i just can't stand those brian from family guy ish people who raise themselves above others on no ground at all except for knowing a teeny tiny bit about something and then just trying to sound smart)

>>

>>701286707

did it worked?

>>

>>701275449

mirrors absorb a lot of light, would be like turning the light off in a normal room

>>

>>701275982

kek

>>

>>701286780

Doesn't define what sort of chair

>>

>>701273500

Kek

>>

>>701286772

do not judge, or you too will be judged. for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

>>

>>701274513

What if the stick was made of diamond nanotubes? That would theoretically solve the weight and flex issues.

>>

>>701282364

speed of sound through the material of the stick

>>

>>701272849

>Proton

>electrocuted

>>

>>701272626

Dead letter office. They won't return a letter without a stamp.

>>

>>701283665

wow it must be true, the clip art proves it!!!

pleb

>>

>>701286745

Come back to me when you've won a Nobel Prize you fucking casual

>>

>>701287396

Great REM album

>>

>>701286574

whats pretty crazy is that light can propel you

>>

>>701274431

Kekaroo

>>

>>701286780

if you had a chair with a large mass it'd slow you down, you'd need huge legs to pull off that force tho

>>

>>701273093

>300,000,000km long stick

>>

>>701277933

just incase anyone cared i made a picture to explain whats going on.

>>

>>701277957

They did it with diamonds so why not.

>>

>>701272650

>thinking you can make a vacuum with a fan

>not knowing about vents to keep fresh air in the house

>thinking you can survive in a vacuum

>>

>>701273232

This is why credit scores are a thing

>>

>>701288250

not where I live

>>

>>701287466

sure you did smartass

>>

>>701287446

it is true but he i still partially wrong

the force travels through the cable at a certain speed, the end electron doesnt move instantly like he thinks

>>

>>701273232

Isn't this, like, how the economy and banking works?

>>

>>701288492

travels through the cable as a wave at a certain speed

>>

>>701275982

>generater

lost

>>

>>701276171

A standard horseshoe magnet would not affect lead. A toroidal coil ac magnet would. Of course, the problem then becomes powering the thing. That and the havoc it would wreck on the iron in your bloodstream.

>>

>>701287935

I care, and that is a well done illustration. However, it is not the fact that it never becomes a circle, but rather a polygon with an insane amount of sides, that I fail to understand. But rather the fact that you are reducing the space between the square with which you started, and the circle. So I know that you will never get the exact circle no, but you will come closer and closer, so I dont understand why the perimeter isn't converging/diverging? (i don't remember which one it is) towards pi

>>

>>701287935

is this even right. somone confirm as im retarded

>>

>>701273197

This is the plot behind pulp fiction

>>

>>701279414

Have you any idea of what helium costs?

How do you weigh something that's floating?

>>

>>701287935

Actually, if you just kept reducing the corners you're end up with a smaller square rotated 45 degrees.

>>

>>701272900

you are still gonna bust ass but i would do this over nothing

atleast if you die doing it you died for science

>>

>>701279769

^ This is also true for

>>701282080

>>

>>701276479

>>701276578

>speed of sound

>in space

>>

>>701274993

What's wrong with this? It should work I guess.

>>

>>701277933

The shape this makes has segments outside the circle. By subdividing them, you're making twice as many segments that are half as long. The area covered by this shape is always larger than the area of the circle as well.

This doesn't prove that pi equals 4, but it does prove that pi must be less than 4.

...which isn't really useful for anything.

>>

>>701289516

go try it

>bring back pics

>>

>>701289516

I think the water in the pipe would only rise to the level of the water in the lake. And it wouldn't shoot out because it isn't under pressure.

>>

>>701289627

Noice.

>>

>>701272929

Weight mass

>>

>>701273952

communism at its best

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