ITT: We're in an office together.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: We're in an office together.
Why is every in that photo white ?
>>700980980
Blacks dont work in offices wtf
>>700980046
Yo johnny hand me that sales document i requested
>>700980980
>office
I have to go earlier today.
>>700981209
You ever seen the it crowd that have a black guy you uncultured swine
>>700980980
three of them are non-threateningly ambiguous
dubs and we get shot up and die
>>700980980
If it was
>itt: we work in the McDonald's
It would have been all blacks except for the manager
Hey guys
>>700981343
No, i work in it all whites
>>700981265
Please call Mr. Frank and tell him about the finished paperwork before you go.
people stop all practices, this company is shut down for debt, i am an official debt collector, here is my license
Dang it Ron stop taking my darn stapler
>>700981557
Don't forget that report that is due for Friday!
>>700981565
Its that scammer again, SECURITY!!
TURN DOWN THE AIR CONDITION YOU SEXIST PIGS!
I am a strong and independent woman and I'm freezing in my shoulder free, paper-think blouse over here! This is what sexism look like, so problematic.
Suck my dick faggots! I got weekend early this week!
H..hi, I'm the new intern. Could you direct me to HR please?
i heard i was being called, i have an enormous ear infection now, what's going on?
>>700981706
Sure, follow me. And watch out for that carl guy, hes a known rapist...
>>700981706
Out that large door thatsuppliers labelled Cantina and fetch me a coffee and hurry!
>>700981613
So who was it that needed me to install flash on their computer?
>>700981565
You cant be the collector... because i am the collector
Is anyone coming to my party? What beer should I buy?
>>700981837
Oh ok, thanks!
>>700981867
Is that Carl?
>>700981908
Why are there so many scammers in our office? SECURITY!
>>700981814
>>700981837
fuck you man, that was ONE TIME
>>700981908
get the fuck out you freak, now my ear infection is really kicking in!
>>700982038
what's the problem chef?
>>700981989
Yup, thats him be carefull and have a nice internship
>>700982043
So ummm, do you have those TPS reports?
>>700980046
Hi, Anon. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
>>700981375
i see them too
>>700981660
Thanks for reminding me, Robert! I almost forgot.
>>700981959
Nah man buy liquor its waaay better, something like a good whiskey you know
>>700980046
I sucked Jennifer's nipples at that company golf game.
Hello Anon, whats happening? Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk... oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.
>>700982032
I AM NOT A FUCKING SCAM THIS IS NOT A FUCKING SCAM STOP NOW YOU FUCKING NIGGER
>>700980046
Have you seen my stapler?
>>700982449
fuck you carl you might be my boss but i fucking quit FUCK YOU BYE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!
>>700982527
Get the fuck out of my building, you degenerate paki cunt
>>700982449
But there is no office work done on sundays, only the janitors and cleaning staff work on sundays.
>>700980046
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-vargLeWoU
>>700980046
It's Wednesday.
Dicks out for Harambe, homos.
>>700980046
I don't know who Semen is, but I'm eating your yogurt.
Hello, this is vault-tec calling! I have come here today to tell you that you all have been pre-selected into the local vault!
Hello is there any it guy around? I had a wirus and a internet told me to delete win32 but computor is now broken
>>700980046
Alright everyone, I've brought the munchkins. Now, I only have two boxes, so only about three munchkins each. And please use the napkins, I can't stress that enough. If you drop one, I cannot allow you to get another.
>>700983516
Don't worry Robert, here's a disk with Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit.
Just put it in into your computer and follow the instructions.
>>700983713
Oh thank you, those computers make my nuts crack every darn time!
>>700981513
Oh, Stevie. Good, I need you to fix my email. I mean, I can probably figure it out, but I want to go take another swing at getting Stacey in Accounting back to my place. You know what I mean, sport? 'Course you don't.
>>700983617
-takes five- Thanks, pal, you're a hero.
>>700984444
Goddammit, Helen. You always get what you want, don't you? Even quads.
>>700984444
Quads lul
>>700984531
Well, let's just say I know who to go to to get what I want -wink-
Got dammit corey stop eating all the pork rolls
>>700984650
>you're FAT, Helen!
>>700984076
.s..s..sure.. I'll fix your email client.. thunderbird right...
t-t-thank y-you... *shrugs*
>>700982311
you mean the most attractive three?
>>700985210
Godammit Stevie, speak up!
Dubs and I kill myself
>>700983617
*Takes all of the blueberry munchkins
Thanks anon.
can one of you fags show me the shitposting department.
goddamn assholes.
*doesn't show up*
>>700985647
Next time, I'm getting glazed only.
Someone get me a cup of coffee
>>700985872
Everything else is shit tier.
Blueberry munchkin is best munchkin
![mfw[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pG3URa0.jpg "mfw[1].jpg")
>>700986033
Go do it yourself Jim, THE LUNCH ROOM IS RIGHT NEXT DOOR GODAMMIT
>>700986033
You want creme with your coffee?
>>700986171
You are in error.
>>700986551
I want one of these. Haven't had them in at least 10 months.
>>700986254
I got it myself, thanks
>>700986629
You could have had 3, but Helen came and took 5.
>If Jack has 30 donut holes to distribute among 12 coworkers, but Helen comes and takes 5, how many does Jack have left?
>Common Core
>show your work
Does anyone know how to put the filter arrows back on my spreadsheet?
Hey it's almost lunch time. You guys wanna checkout the new chinese restaurant?
>>700986551
Enjoy your cum munchkins.
Next time a motherfucker asks me for a pay raise.
Pic fucking related.
I'm talking to you, Harold.
>>700987028
Sure why not! Lets ask Matt if he wanna come too.
Alright which one of you bastards is stealing my milk from the fridge? This bottle was almost full yesterday.
>>700987181
Okay you go get him I go for a quick cig.
>>700986885
It's implied that the event of the distribution lies in the future, so Jack has 25 left, as the only thing that happened is fat Helen.
>>700987286
Oh that was yours?! Sorry man i'll invite you to a Coffee at lunch break. I heard the new Starbucks is Neat
MY COMPUTER IS FUCKING SLOW!
>>700987474
Stay Calm. I contacted Steve. He should be around in 10 minutes to check your PC
![contemplation[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/F0gc6M8.jpg "contemplation[1].jpg")
>>700987286
Well, if you put it in the fridge, put your name on it! It's the lunch room, people make their coffee there and shit.
If you want people to not touch your stuff, label them as yours.
Fuck being HR is a pain in the ass.
>>700987396
Sure, take your time
>>700987437
You owe me big time! But a cofffee will work just fine to erase your sin.
>>700980046
no fuck that. ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>700987591
Well, if you want a *real* pain in the ass, how about you join me in the janitor's closet for a little afternoon delight? ;)
>>700987633
Glad that i didnt fudged up to hard. Alright see you in lunch break!
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY EXPENSIVE PEN? YOU ALL KNOW IT, IS HAS MY INITIALS ON IT DAMMIT.
>>700987574
hello i am stve from pc optimizer pro how can i do you for
For fuck's sake guys, these are NOT your home computers, stop bringing in your personal drives, stop abusing the internet, you signed an agreement saying you wouldn't in the computer usage policy when you signed your contract.
Please use your allocated network drives (H: X: and Z:) and remember that we can monitor your computers via the event viewer.
Also, you can't use Fruitloops or Deckadance, audio devices are off due to the group policy, so please stop trying to install it.
- IT
Words on the street that you got a fat cock
>>700987756
I saw Gary wankin around with it. He talked somethin about "sharpie in pooper".
>>700987770
Hey Steve please check Mikes computer please. He complains about it being to slow.
>>700987721
Carl, if you disturb me or any coworkers again I will call the fucking cops on you.
Get back to cleaning, I think Helen puked from eating too many munchkins.
>>700987951
ok you need to install teamviewer first
>>700987721
Harassment! Somebody make a complaint.
>>700988068
Ok lemme see......ahh found it. Whats next?
>>700980046
Hr this photo is offensive
>>700988011
Sweetheart. Those are dubs. You know you can't have those in the office during office hours. I have to take those away from you...unless we can work something out.
>>700988011
Jokes on her. I ate all of the blueberry munchkins
>>700987865
If Gary actually has is again I'm gonna fucking piss on his keyboard. Where is he btw?
>>700988199
And i have to take your dubs away. You can get them at the end of the day. Come in my office then.
>>700988150
tell me your credit information and the admin password to the it room
>>700988197
Mike if you think this photo is offensive please contact our manager.
>>700988257
I saw him at the toilet next to Thomas office room. If you hurry you can catch him
>>700988223
Jim please come to my office.
What did I tell you about being greedy with food?
You know we have co-workers.
~HR.
>>700988321
Ah fuck...alright, let's go...
>>700988324
Wait a minute! Why do you need the IT Admin password?! Arent you from the IT itself?
>>700988439
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!
>>700988559
Sorry. Its protocol
>>700988619
GARY STOP RIGHT NOW I'LL CALL SECURITY AND YOUR SALARY WILL BE CUT FOR THE MONTH
~HR
>>700988619
You stay here you filthy scoundrel!!!
>>700988568
ni i need it for the abbility to download the software
>>700988568
>>700988324
Hey, sorry I'm late. So, what's wrong with the compu....
...Ryan, what are you wearing my IT polo shirt?
>>700980980
it's a successful business
>>700988662
*goes into office, places dubs on the desk* So, now what? You bust my balls for ten minutes, cut my pay?
>>700988732
Ahh ok. IT Admin password: NEET69Traplover
>>700988736
YOU CANT CATCH ME ALIVE YOU FUCING DOUBLE NIGGER
>>700988722
no. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *runs to elevator*
>>700988619
Well, fortunately for me Gary, I'll happily kill you. YOU FUCKING PEN RAPIST GET OVER HERE
>>700988854
thank you for your time
>>700988736
Wait what?! I already gave him the password! Oh dang i fudged up big time
>>700988871
RYAN GIMME BACK MY POLO SHIRT YOU FUCK
I found these niggers:
>>700988888
>>700980000
>>700988950
No problem. Now do me a favor and get out of my office
>>700988990
*shits on polo shirt * THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE GOOD THINGS
>>700988967
I'm gonna have to set you up with a new account, and erase your old one. *starts erasing everything* You got anything you want saved, like some pictures or...porn?
>>700989116
Aw man.
Hello everyone!
Why are those guys running?
>>700980046
Hey Mark, did you file that PPS report? Did you get the email where I said you need PPS reports? Mark pls.
>>700989151
Nah mate im good. Thanks for the help
>>700989270
Ryan stole a polo shirt, and Gary raped a pen.
I called security, they're at the doors.
YOU WON'T GET AWAY GARY
Hey...this is my resignation letter Mr. Trump....
>>700989352
No prob. Now, I gotta get a shit stain out of my polo....
>>700981417
Roling
Hey guys? Can we get a janitor of something down here in the storage sector? I'm pretty sure there was a mo-
>>700989361
Ok... Wait
Gary did what? How?
>>700989361
FUCK YOU FOUND MY HIDING SPOT!
OHHH YEAAAH
IT'S TIME FOR SOME OFFICE STUFF YEEEAH
>>700989474
YOU WONT CATCH THE PHANTOM SHITTER
Excuse me..did someone touch my thstapler ?
>>700989474
Sorry to hear that. Wanna come over for a beer after work?
>>700981417
Sorry, dubs aren't allowed in this office, and please kill yourself elsewhere, blood is hard to clean
>>700989515
>>700989591
HOLY FUCK TONY'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK! Macho Man Randy Savage, help me out here!!!
>>700989765
Oh! Um, yeah, sure. Sounds like a fun time.
Guys, is the internet still working?
>>700989891
Nice, also my wife is Cooking dinner so you are invited to stay in the evening. We can watch the football game too.
>>700989579
He put my pen - WITH MY INITIALS ON IT - is his ass. I'll fucking get him for this.
>>700989818
DON'T WORRY MACHO MAN IS A PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR
>>700980046
*shows up naked*
GUYS IM DREAMING TAKE SOME OF THIS DMT IT"S THE SHIT
>>700990117
>>wife
>>no buttfucking while watching the Jets get owned
Sounds like a plan, man. I could use a homecooked meal!
Are you guys getting emails or?
ARE MY CONDOM BALLOONS STILL IN THE FRIDGE
>>700990172
Okay, cool just-
Wait, what? Since when? You're the goddamned mail guy!
>>700990117
can i still come despite being on my resignation notice?
>>700990271
SECURITY! Why did you let this weirdo pass?!
>>700990315
Ok see you later. I need to get back to my PC. Have to write something for Mike.
>>700981443
You mean kfc???
>>700990486
Yeah why not!
>>700990540
Later! *goes back to shitty IT room in the annex
>>700990437
OUTTA MY WAY PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR THINGS NEED TO BE DONE
>>700990515
*karate chops security in the neck, he passes out*
GUYS COME ON IT'S AWESOME
also fuck you terrance you know i work here too
[screams loudly]
ALLAHU ACKBAR
gary here: I gave up running. ill pay for all the damages of the pen.
Guys, can someone help me update adobe reader?
>>700990862
NO TERRORISTS ON MY WATCH
>>700990862
SECUUUUURITYYY!!!
>>700990862
hey faffot you stole that from me
>>700990975
>>700990994
>>700991048
[KEKS in Arabic]
gottem
>>700991133
also calm down you little pussies, it's just me, Larry.
>>700980046
Jerry turn the thermostat down. I know you like the breeze but my office accrues all the residual heat.
Also, please check your email I sent last quarter's projections now and I'm starting on the halfyear earnings.
>>700980046
no you stole that post from me.
>>700987712
Good morning Occifer Vic Mackey here...I came to investigate the robbery of a pen...Where is the victim?
>>700991298
CMON' LARRY YOU TALIBAN SCUM FIGHT ME
>>700981557
Sure thing boss man
>>700991536
it was a prank bro
but alright, you want some, i'll give it to ya, wanker
>>700991491
It was me..gary *puts hands in air*
>>700981693
Gurl bend over this desk and I'll show you sexism
>gets sent the wrong document by coworker so instead of talking to coworker about it, goes to escalation and manager instead
>>700991674
OOOOH YOU JUST MADE THE WORST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE YEAAH
>>700981837
HEY FUCK I AINT NO RAPIST
>>700991843
do it, you cunt fuck
Toner delivery, can someone sign for this shit? I can't leave here and one of you needs to sign for it.
*peeks head over cubicle*
CHECK EM FAGGOTS
Hey Stacy can you watch my coffee? There's report of some guy putting things in drinks.
>>700991939
>Suplexes Larry
OOOH YEAH, SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM
>>700992126
Sure.
[Signs "EAT MY SHIT YOU COLOSSAL FAG"]
>>700992209
FUCK
>>700992197
[knocks over the coffee] fuck your coffee
>>700992312
LOOKS LIKE YOU TIMES UP YEEAAH
>Prepares For Finishing Move
>>700980046
YOU ROLL, YOU WIN
>>700992498
OH FUCK NO
DON'T YOU DARE, JIM
>>700992478
You fucking cunt Stacy!
>Staples forehead
>>700992197
DMT guy again *slips tab of acid into coffee*
>>700992671
Robert, you're turning into a dragon!
>>700992633
you thought it was stacy
[removes disguise]
BUT IT WAS ME, LARRY!!
>>700992619
THE NAME'S NOT JIM IT'S THE MACHO MAN, RANDY SAVAGE, AND I'LL SNAP YOUR SPINE LIKE I SNAP SLIM JIMS
>>700991795
>I'll show you sexism
Want to see how a horrible sexist sexually harassed a woman?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGRC-NXk4Q8
>Protip: It's kekworthy.
>>700992864
FUCK
PLEASE SPARE ME
>>700992939
IT'S OVER, I SAW THAT HULKAMANIA CELL PHONE CASE
>>700993174
I BOUGHT IT FOR MY DAUGHTER
>>700993302
THEN I'M COMING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
>>700993174
HEY STOP TALKING AND DROP THAT ELBOW I'LL HOLD HIM DOWN BROTHER
>>700993590
I KNEW YOU WERE SECRETLY THE HULKSTER, TERRY
>>700993420
SHIIIIIIIIT
>>700993590
THANKS HULK HOGAN
>>700993823
Aw shit you got me randy
>>700994007
SAVE ME, HE'S GONNA GET MY DAUGHTER, HULK HOGAN
(walks in)
Please someone tell Mi...
WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE FIGHTING HERE
>>700994279
OH THANK GOD
I DID AN ARABIC PRANK AND RANDY SAVAGE IS HERE TO KICK MY ASS AND STEAL MY DAUGHTER BUT HULK HOGAN SHOWED UP WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO AAAAAAAAAAA
>>700994275
FUCK YOUR DAUGHTER WE HOLLYWOOD NOW!
>>700994279
HELP ME IN THIS TAG TEAM MATCH FELLOW MACHOMANIAC
>>700994275
*grabs daughter*
How and why the fuck did we hire both macho man Randy savage and Hulk Hogan?
>>700994427
>>700994532
Wh... fuck this im out
>>700994688
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
NOT MY 15-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
>>700992935
Jesus they lit that guy up
>>700992861
GODAMNIT FUCK YOU LARRY
>>700994745
Randy mail guy savage
Terry janitor hogan
Fooled hr good
Where the FUCK is my stapler?
Anon I told you before Stop Cumming in my coffee
>>700994803
Here's her head after the leg drop sorry BROTHER
>>700994933
randy savage shoved it up his asshole
>>700995192
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE TO SAVE ME
>>700995192
THANKS HULKSTER
dubs and i bring tendies for everyone in the office
>>700995319
You're fine aren't you? BROTHER
You're welcome
>>700995488
DO IT
Hey Anon, can you copy this one for me?
>>700994820
Poor Hugh Mongous.
>>700995503
Yeah but
DID YOU REALLY NEED TO DROP-KICK MY DAUGHTER INTO OBLIVION????
>>700994921
I they were that stealthy about trying to get a job here I guess they both deserve it
WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY FUCKING STAPLER?
I NEED THAT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
IF I DON'T HAVE THAT STAPLER BACK ON MY DESK IN FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, I WILL FUCKING QUIT THIS FUCKING JOB!
>>700980046
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam
>>700995906
I totally didn't steal it. I also didn't shove it in the copy machine.
>>700994933
My ass.
>>700995906
>>700996161
THAT'S IT
NO FUCKING STAPLER ON MY DESK
IT'S IN THE FUCKING COPY MACHINE
I FUCKING QUIT
GODDAMNIT
>>700995593
Here you go.
>>700996725
THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT ANON, GODDAMNIT IM GOING TO GET YOU FIRED
>>700996499
hha sure glad that fucking douche nozzle is gone he was always stealing shit from the fridge anyway....
OH SHIT DID HE HEAR ME???
>>700996867
No, no, please, I really need this job.
>>700980046
I'm late, there was traffic. What did I miss?
>>700996991
Then do your job correctly!
Hey joe, check out this post on reddit
Now, what you all may be wondering, where's the Company Tank? well CREED FUCKING HID IT.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS USING THE TANK TO FLANK US.
>>700995906
I KNOW DUDE THEY STOLE MY FUCKING STAPLER TOO AND NOW RANDY SAVAGE HAS IT UP HIS ASS
Does anyone have a copy of that memo? I don't know if my TPS report needs a cover sheet or not.
>>700997371
WHAT?! I HAD THAT FUCKING TANK BOOKED AT 2, AND THAT CHODEBASKET FUCKING STOLE IT!?
OFFICE SHOOTING
SINGLES SURVIVE
DUBS GET SHOT
>TRIPS STOPS THE SHOOTER.
>>700997538
Oh, shit, I'll be under my desk with the fire axe if I'm needed.
>>700997535
Ahahahaha! You'll never find that tank now!
>>700997538
THE MACHO MAN NEEDS NO DUBS TO BREAK YOUR NECK
>>700997705
CREED, I'M COMIN' FOR YA
>>700997538
OH SHIT DON'T SHOOT
>>700997538
Gotta roll fast!
>>700997892
YEAH HEY ITS ME, >>700997607, GET UNDER THIS DESK WITH ME, I HAVE AN AXE
>>700997807
Not if I infiltrate my Baneblade!
>>700997973
ALRIGHT THEN I SHALL HIDE UNDER THE DESK
You guys are going to regret telling the boss that I smoke meth
>>700997538
Man this guy's a terrible fuckin shot!
>>700998091
DID YOU BRING THE PURE MORPHINE FROM THE BREAK ROOM
>>700997538
JANITOR IS HERE TO SAVE YOU ALL
HERE COME TRIPS
>>700998162
I DID, WHY DO YOU ASK?
>>700998242
GOOD I MISSED LUNCH PASS ME SOME
>>700997538
>Macho Man Throws Shooter Out Of The Window
>>700997538
im a girl btw
>>700980046
>get this new job at some office called "4chan"
>have to go into an ally that stinks of piss and shit because the office building is in a fucking ally
>get to the building, looks like no one has been here
>well, squaters and vandels sure
>anyway, walk up to the main desk, guy asks me why im here and screams "newfags gtfo"
>walk past him and head to the floor i work
>/b/
>pure. fucking. chaos.
>thousands of things fucking everywhere
>nudes
>fuck niggers and other things writen on the wall
>fucking hate it already
>not even getting paid for my janitor job
>try to start cleaning up this shit hole
>everyone runs up to me
>i've woken the hive
>they start shouting and singing
>after a while its lunch
>put some hotpockets in the microwave
>eat them boiling hot
>head to the roof
>i have to wait in a line to end my life
>get to the front
>throw myself off
>some guy sees me and calls me gay
>dead
>>700998311
[Passes Morphine]
