Feels thread. Are you alone this summer Anon?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels thread.
Are you alone this summer Anon?
I don't know, I got a girlfriend recently but somehow I'm still completely numb all day.
Spend a lot of time on
/r9k/ and you will realize everyone there is just as lonely as you are. The thing is, I can honestly say I'm probably like a 6.8/10 but there has only been one girl who was ever interested in me. She was ugly as hell and a horrible person though so it didn't work.
>be me
>early 2012
>17, go to high school, young and free, like freestyling and smoking doobys, your normal fun loving sorta guy
>met this girl about half a year earlier at a friends christmas party whilst his parents were away, it was a big lan party with alot of games, girls, drinks and sheannigans, and this chick showed up with a kid, she was only a year older than me (18 almost 19)
>kid eventually left with dad and she was being bitchy as to everyone, i was being an asshole back because i like to talk shit for a laugh
>funny conversations but nothing past that
>anyway she added me on facebook all this time (6 months) later
>remember her and her only year old son, message her asking how things are etc (baring in mind i know nothing much about her)
>end up talking quite alot, she even bought me a phone top up so i could text her one time i remember that
>she had her own place since government benefit for having a child, i used to visit alot after we started talking
>cutting the bullshit she ended up taking my virginity and we fell in love
>real love though, babys dad didnt wanna know much so i took up step daddy roll
>ended up stopping hanging with my friends all the time, was always with gf
>pretty muched lived with her for a year or 2, the love felt so real
>had our arguments but i was young and thought all these unhealthy factors of a relationship were normal and worked past them
>forgot to mention at the time gfs mum was dying of cancer, she eventually passed away and i even carried her coffin at the funeral because i was considered a close family member
>im drunk and cbf typing more but pretty much in the end she ended up cheating on me with my "best friend"
>they played it down like it wasnt anything and then my gf ends up losing it whilst theyre trying to play it off
>i never felt so low in my life, this was when i was about 19/a few months away from 20
>her dad still talks to me, i miss him and i know he misses me and wish i was still around
>>700946390
posted in my thread but no one cared so thought id try here sorry, i just feel like i need to talk about it
>>700946390
Jesus Christ
I love feels thread for an abundance of reasons
when im super happy it brings me back down to earth and i realize these good times arent forever and i need to make the best of them which is a great thing
on the other hand when im feeling down i realize im not the only one whose got a rough break in this amazing and destructful world and that i can bring myself back up just by talking about it with a bunch of fucked bros on the internet
this danger swig is for you, b
>>700946665
indeed, theres more to the story but im pretty drunk, feel free to ask me questions bruv
>>700946390
Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks fam, dont even try worry about it.
>>700947003
cheers man, i just always find myself looking back to what couldve been if i didnt waste my time you know, the girls, the times i couldve had with friends, but looking back it wasnt wasted time, even though her family thought i was a piece of shit because i ended up a factory worker (when i got out of highschool anyway - i ended up with a diploma in IT and after a few years of work after that im doing a bachelors in softare engineering -- after breaking up) im excited for my future because i truly feel no girl will hold me down, which from what i see is what fucks over most males, holding them back from making the most of there potential
/flex
>>700947268
software engineering* sorry as i said, had a few drinks
My friends stopped contacting me, any try calling or coming over ends with them not responding or not being at home.
Sometimes i see them online but for a very short time in which i cant get a conversation is. They rub off things very fast in those conversations and then are just offline.
My mother i occassionaly visit has a new boyfriend and i cant spend much time with her other than the usual "how ´s it going in your life".
I started taking lorazepam meds to dull myself and got through the day, many things are uninteresting, talking to people outside is a small joy i have and its very easy and relaxing doing so but also exhausting if overdone.
The last few days i had thoughts about suiciding mixed with hurting other people, killing them, the thoughts were very confident and the scenarios played in the head very thought through and cowardly, because its always me sneaking up from behind, getting someone unprepared or weak.
I tried calling a center i introduced myself to and explained my problems and thoughts but was dismissed because it doesnt seem that im psychotic or dangerous. My country handles mental sickness very poorly or just gives you meds that turn you grey so you can keep on going.
I dont know where to go right now, i sometimes think of just packaging my things and drive away. Im not really hurt, i just have no goal other than sticking with my meds right now, going through each day but for what reason.
>>700944973
that pictures from a train station in NSW looking north. lights are on so its after 6pm, so it can't be a station close to the mountains. my vote is wolli creek.
I wasn't alone but I am now.
I met her a few years ago and we hit it off instantly. Became super close super quickly. Eventually started dating briefly, but I ended up moving to the other side of the planet so we split.
I guess we both thought that would be that, but we kept talking despite the distance and time difference and our feelings kept growing. I feel in love with her, she fell in love with me. We admitted our feelings to each other. Because of the distance, we decided that we wouldn't get into a relationship, we would just be upfront with each other about our feelings for each other until we could meet up in person and then we'd properly discuss it (we were meant to meet up next summer). We stressed that we were both allowed to see other people in a casual manner.
About a month ago, I kissed an old fling of mine. She didn't take this well, she flipped and ignored me and blocked me, even though I hadn't broken any rules. Eventually I was able to get through to her after she had calmed down. We agreed to try again and for the first day it was great but then she would just disappear and stop talking to me. I questioned her and we had a big conversation about us and how she didn't want to talk to me anymore, but then she would just agree to talk to me again. It would go really well again for a couple days, then she would disappear again. She wouldn't return my messages or anything.
I've been doing everything I can to fix us because I honestly think it can be fixed, but she just constantly brings up the distance and how she doesn't think it'll work out.
I feel like she's subconsciously blocking herself off from me. I feel like she's kicked me to the curb and broken my heart in a selfish attempt to stop herself from hurting if we don't work out in the future (I fully believe we will work out, that's why I'm pushing this so hard). I feel like when I'm gone, eventually she'll realise how much I meant to her. I don't know what to do. I'm lost and heartbroken
>>700948667
in this new world of constant communication, i feel although long distance relationships are trialed they never end up for the better, youre a valuable person bro, dont ever feel worthless
I've started drinking to forget about life's troubles in general after successfully, if you can call it that, drinking to forget about her.
It's certainly not the solution, but it helps in the short-term, at least.
Chase a little happiness in your life, anons. It helps to remind you what you're living for.
>>700949179
I don't feel worthless, aside from her I'm happy and I'm happy with myself and who I am. I've had problems with depression and anxiety in the past but they're all gone now.
But I really fucking love this girl, I really fucking want her. I feel like we could've done it. If anyone could've done it it would've been us. I feel like there's still a chance and it's eating away at me.
>>700949694
but do you love her or do you love the idea of her? dangerous territory
>>700949805
I love her.
She's beautiful and kind and funny and I can talk to her for hours and hours and hours and hours without ever getting bored. We were both willing to save and spend tons of money to be with each other. I miss talking to her like crazy.
>>700948667
Hey anon. It'll be ok. Go have a soda buddy.
>>700950036
godspeed, anon
>>700950036
I know the feels, my man. The only thing I took comfort in was the fact that I'd done all I could, and that she wasn't gone for my lack of trying.
I wish you all the best, I hope she does open up to you again, but at the same time it takes two people for a relationship and you can wear yourself out trying to make it work on your own.
>>700946390
>gf ends long serious relationship
>miss her dad
Wut
>>700951171
lol just family ties brah, like when i stopped seeing my gf/xgf/girl i kind of have to cut off my ties to her family too, which was hard because we got along really well
If by alone you mean not having a gf, then yeah.
But its better that way. I live by bros before hoes, even though i know the majority of my friends would ditch me just to get their dick wet.
A gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros.
>>700944973
>>700951954
>>700944973
>>700944973
>this summer
>implying I'm not alone any other time
>>700946262
>She was ugly as hell and a horrible person though so it didn't work.
She broke up with you because you don't have good hygiene anon
I would rather be alone than have to go thru another cycle of meeting a great person falling in love and geting cheated on.Hell really the only thing that gets better is how good the others lie.
the story of my life:
>Born 87
>son of a librarian
>parents divorced when I was 6
>moved away from my - very few - youth friends
>can't connect to people in new school
>develop communication issues
>being a bully and pushy asshole
>karma turns around, I become the victim
>too stupid to understand why back then
>end up in therapy when I was 14
>learn social skills
>find friends
>life gets better for a few years
>lose virginity during a festival '04
>best year in my life so far, relationship ends eventually
>graduate and find a traineeship for awesome pay in a quite well known firm
>oversleep the first day
>get kicked out
>develop depressions
>following years spend by moving from city to city, failing one traineeship after another
>finally arrive in current city in '08
>first year goes awesome.
>Make friends, live in the house of my uncle
>depression kicks in again
>fail 2nd year
>drop out
>attempt to finish traineeship in another firm
>fail miserably
>uncle kicks me out cause our agreement was rent-free living as long as I do my traineeship. No hate, he's a awesome person but doesn't have much as well.
>moving into new flat in '10
>no perspective
>no motivation
>go on social wellfare
>bunker down behind PC
>don't even bring out garbage anymore
>live off of pizza-delivery
>become 200kg load of lard
>cont
>>700951609
>a gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros
Clearly you've never met someone worthwhile, or you have issues connecting with people. The wording of that sentence makes me think it's the latter.
>>700953421
>meet girl online
>has social anxiety
>about to fail her master degree
>both play Gw2
>long_distance_relationship.fuck
>spend next 5 years to escape reality together
>meet literally once. Mediocre. She doubts everything on a emotional level. Typical reason for not sticking it into crazy.
>FF to '14
>landlord gets wind of my messy flat. Literally. Neighbors complain about the smell
>landlord wants to kick me out. Talk him into mercy under the condition to pay for complete renovation and making therapy (best decission in my life)
>therapy works well
>start to go out more, just for walks in the beginning, later for bicycling
>feel better, can breath like normal again
>go to the gym
>do 3 months of stationary therapy
>come out
>feel powerful
>wanna fix my life to support me and gf 200 miles away...
>6 months later, she gets worse
>I constantly try to talk her into therapy cause it worked so well for me
>Don't recognize the pressure I build on her
>She stops talking with me
>While skyping, she's most of the time mute and barely speaks a word
>Stop playing gw2 together eventually
>she finds a new guy to play with
>he's as depressive as I were
>falls in love with him
>wants to escape reality with him
>actually makes the effort to visit him and cheats on me
>my ego is crushed again
>no perspective
>tried to accomplish all this for her
>learn the hard way that motivation must come from within yourself and for yourself
>still chugging on that lesson
>have a hard time to keep up the positive routine I had build before
>still loosing weight
>still having my - regained - social contacts
>still having social workers to come and visit
>don't even want to be back with her
>feel empty and dead
>Today.
if anyone was in the other thread whose post number was
>>700952426
this was my response
>>700953316
continued
>she keeps trying to talk to me for a while after we split, personally i just felt like id been born again as weird as that sounds and i had to find my place in life/at least where i lived
>end up hooking back up with all old "clique"/crew, start drinking alot again and get hook ups
>spend about a year just getting embarrassingly fucked up, making a fool of myself being absolutely off my block whilst working at a factory
>end up being friends again after about a year because i know deep down she and my mate are good people, although i dont hang out with them much at all
>start getting back out there
>>700952426
and buddy heres the revenge
>about 2 years after break up, start working in construction and get pretty built
>end up drinking with my xgf and her work friends one weekend, make some connections
>sleep with every girl she works with in a restaurant
fast forward another year or so and although even though i went through all that, i made alot more mistakes, but i feel like im living a good life, i love you all the bros that read this drunken mess of a story, god speed to you all
>>700951171
It happens fam. I miss my exs dad. My dad never wanted anything to do with me but he was cool.
>>700954318
right? like i love my dad, but my xgfs dad i felt like i could just be a loose cunt with, its like a best friend thats 20 years older than you (when you really connect)
>>700944973
>alone
fuck off faggot
>>700954550
Dude worked construction. Used to take me out with him and let my drive and work bobcats and shit. He's literally the only thing I miss. Still talk to him every now and then if I see him.
>>700951609
>A gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros.
This is what I used to tell myself when I didn't have a gf. I thought I'd get sick of them or they'd get sick of me or I'd have to put up with a bunch of annoying shit, but it's not like that at all. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade the feeling I get with them for anything.
>>700954809
this guy gets it
>>700944973
I'm always alone. What kind of fucking stupid question is that? This summer? Nah faggot. Try 24 years of being alone.
>>700955115
That's what these threads are about though bro, such a transcendent feeling and it gets taken away so quickly leaving you in an uncomfortable situation which happens more than you would probably like to think about, leaving you and you alone to build up your self worth, i feel although we have this low key sex war going on at the moment we need a place for men to express there feelings and acknowledge who and what they are, revealing to themselves what they want to be
>>700954002
>>700953421
I end it today.
Good bye.
>>700955516
please dont
>>700955516
why die for her?
If you are going to off yourself just do some crazy shit in your life.
I felt suicidal because of a failed relationship. I got diagnosed with major depression and bipolar disorder.
I was going to hang myself but I read a post from here.
It said if you have nothing to live for then just live.
If you want to die fuck it do some wild dangerous shit become a drug dealer, climb a mountain, kill a gang, join the army, hunt ISIS, travel, write a shitty book full of sad poetry and thoughts.
Fuck everybody else you were born alone and you'll have to die alone you need to accept that.
I know I have
>>700955516
stay eat some cake with me first /b/ro
you attentionwhoring drama queen ;)
>>700955516
Don't do it anon, you have to keep living , not to be happy but to make other's people life miserable just like ours, if we aren't happy no ones deserve to be.
>>700956453
you got me ;)
>>700956354
don't worry, won't off myself.
Wouldn't even suprise me if I were the one originally giving you that advice.
Sounds like something I might have posted in the past.
>>700956480
that's the spirit.
thx for the bumps, felt like this thread was dying.
>>700956354
Fucking this.
Any potential repercussions can be answered with "lol doesn't matter, I'll be dead", so just get ridiculous and ride that train as far as you can.
>>700956354
one thing I have to admit tho, loneliness is not good for my mental health.
Luckily i meet some friends in a few minutes, so I hope this will get my mind on other things, at least for some hours.
>>700956999
and with that trips I leave you.
Have fun.
>>700956999
Loneliness is probably the biggest cause of suicide apart from love. Nice trips as well
>>700950594
>but at the same time it takes two people for a relationship and you can wear yourself out trying to make it work on your own.
I hope she opens up to me too man. I know I meant so much to her. I know I did.
But yeah, you're right. I've been working at it for just around a month now. Nonstop thinking about her and how to fix this so I can be with her like I'm meant to be. I keep making progress then she just shuts me down again and it's right back to square one. I've hit my limit for now. I've gotten frustrated. I vented my frustration and deleted the app we use to speak. I'm hurt but I need to work on myself. I want her back and I'm always going to want her back because I love her but it's time for her to take the next step.
>>700956354
>It said if you have nothing to live for then just live.
but what if life just means suffering for you?
I mean like maybe it's a pain that's getting worse day by day
and you can't really explain nor do you know where it's coming from
it looks like the best thing to do for someone like that
just like you put down a dog because you love him and don't want him to die slow in pain
or something like that I'm not in that position
>>700956877
>you got me ;)
nice, I'm not really in the mood for cake anyway
>>700957090
yea thanks I'll be having a blast
>>700944973
As lonely as ever. I thought this summer would be different, had high hopes. Never again.
>>700944973
i'm pretty lonely. Still live w/ my parents, so it kinda helps, but i hate everyone in my family.
I text some of my friends every now and then, but no one invites me @ parties anymore 'cuz i'm an absolute mess when i'm drunk.
Overall i could be better, but i could be worse
>>700960221
Name of that comic?
>>700946755
>>700946390
dude.. you miss having a family. Relax you ll be fine as u r not a stupid nigger.
Does anyone have the colored version?
>>700960221
Yeah, what's the fucking name?
Anybody with an ed here?
>>700964411
Not really, just really fat.
>>700964517
What's your cw anon
>>700944973
Yes. How many years has it been now since college? No family, and everyone had left my life, pursuing their career and living their normal lives - married, kids, well-paying job. Yet here I am, a 28 years old man, with a dead end job at a company struggling to stay open, absolutely zero social activities other than talking to my colleagues about work.
Wake, wash, work, internet, anime, sleep, repeat. 7 years like this, I don't even know where I'm heading anymore.
>>700964786
200 and something lbs (like 100 and something kg). My height is 5'7"
>>700965026
That's not so bad my man. 5' 10" 165 lbs. Sometimes I watch my 600 pound life to make me feel better about my fat self
>>700965266
Actually, you're pretty good! Sometimes I eat out of pure boredom, but then I start feeling pretty fucking bad (usually it's in the night, since I'm a fucking night owl). Other times I go days without eating practically anything.
>be me
>this year
>working at car dealership in my hometown for summer
> near end of summer meet girl I liked in high school at my work.
>start talking to her a lot
>fall for her harder than a 400lb anon falling back down the stairs to his parents basement.
>talking to her one day and she tells me she's moving away for uni in about a week
>ask her out spontaneously.
>she tells me she likes me and had feelings for me since high school too.
>doesn't want to date me because i'm moving too.
>try to just be friends with her.
>end up falling even harder.
>can't keep going with this. it kills me talking to her knowing there's something there, but not being able to do anything about it....
>please help /b/
Thanks (: gum and coffee are your best friends when it comes to fasting. Like
>>700945857 , she makes me eat every day in front of her. I know I should be grateful for having someone so supportive and perfect, but I just feel like it's "numb love" if that makes sense. Do you have a significant other,
>>700965670 ?
>>700966119
How far apart are we talking, anon
Got engaged, feels good.
>>700966385
10 hour drive each way.
>>700966247
I do, my dear tovarishch. But I don't tell anyone when I decide to fast. I don't like coffe, sorry. What I do is that I eat something really small only to stop the hunger pain (not water, that actually makes me feel worse, gives me a lot of headaches and such). But I think that you should exercise, it kinda helps. I do a lot of shadowboxing, do you practice something?
.>>700965266 also, dubs checked.
>>700944973
>>700966765
Ahh. I'm an actor at my community college. Usually supporting role but one time I got lead in a play. What's your job, anon?
>>700967046
I'm a medstudent, but I think I might join the navy or the army this year. That way if I ever feel like killing myself, it will be nice and easy. After I finish college most likely I'll become a neurosurgeon.
>>700966385
Did you talk to her about long distance? Can you skype her ? And what's your dating personality? (Jealous, cuck, insecure, etc..)
>>700967280
Damn. Meant
>>700966710
>>700967257
That's pretty cool, navy is pretty badass
>>700944973
>Be me
>>700967494
A little bit, acting sounds interesting, tho.
>>700967346
trying to talk to her about Skype. she's not into long distance relationships. I'm honest loyal and fun loving and like to make jokes. used to have horrible anxiety depression and mild psychotic behavior but she knows all that about me and she accepts me for it which is why I keep falling for her everytime I try to get away. dude please tell me your going somewhere with all this.
I'm alone but not. I have a girlfriend but we're starting to grow apart. We started dating a year and 8 months ago..Tomorrow is our 1 year and 8 month anniversary actually. But we've started to talk less and she starts ignoring me. I have a feeling she might be cheating on me. We hang out and stuff but after it she like..ignores me. Am I being cheated on anons? Probably right?
>>700968113
Anon, have you asked yourself why you get attached so easily? I have mommy issues (yeah, it's retarted but she abused the fuck out of me and all that) and I get attached too easily. Literally within days
>>700968064
Very. I get a lot of girls cause of it but like most actors I wanna fucking die
>>700944973
>>700944973
I find it astonishing that i come to feels threads to laugh, YLYL threads to get angry, and rage threads to feel bad about the reality of things.
>>700969081
that's the thing man I don't normally get attached to people this easily it's never taken me more than a few days to get over someone. I've tried not talking to her for a few days even started talking to another girl and ignoring her. she just got under my skin man and I can't get her out of my head. I had good parents had decent luck with girls and lots of friends. what should I do helpful anon?
don't you 404 on me!
>>700969814
First things first, anon. How did you meet? Did she brush you off at first? How bad have you fought for her?
Why aren't I happy /b/? I have pretty much everything most people would kill for and I still feel like a fucking loser. I just don't know anymore.
>pic severely related.
>>700969081
Well, I'm not an actor and I want to kill myself as well, most of the time at least.
>>700970203
like I said we met in high school and she never brushed me off we had a few classes together we sat near each other and chatted when we werent working but we never really talked past that until this summer when I helped fix her car. she started flirting with me after it was out of the shop and we started talking as friends from there.
>>700970215
Its probably because you dont know what you actually want and have been living a lie that you believed to be true, that lie being that what you want is what everyone else wants for you. So, in achieving what you believed to be what you wanted, it actually wasnt, and as a result, you feel empty inside, like a loser. Go meditate fag.
>>700970479
Here's some brutal truth, if she isn't willing to fight for you (i.e., put up with long distance and occasional visits) like you would, then in the long run,things will get sour and suck later on. Take some time to think, about your future with her and (you obviously do) if she loves you enough to spend a lifetime with.
>>700970778
thanks anon. I needed that. I'll take some time and really focus on why she won't fight for me and talk to her about it. feels thread for the win.
>>700946755
this
>>700948667
bro,
this is heavy shit. I feel for you. We're in a similar boat.
What's good is that you're able to rationally analyze what's happenning. You might be right, it does sound like something a person might do when they're insecure.
I'm not gonna tell you what to do. You have to look in your heart for that. But if you think it's worth it, fight. Hard. Put up with her shit. If, at some point, you feel like you're losing that passion you have and it starts feeling meaningless, reevaluate.
Until then, don't let her insecurity defeat what might be the real deal. I believe in you, brother.
>>700971006
Anytime. Letting go will hurt, but be happy that she's happy.
>>700950594
this.
If you do your best, and it doesn't work out, you grieve, and eventually, maybe, you move on. If you give up, the maybes and what ifs will eat at you forever.
Me no feeling good :(
>>700955516
If you do it, I'll do it too.
I wish I didn't have social anxiety. An old middle school friend wanted to hang out two months ago and I said I'd talk to her about what to do but never did. She even said if I didn't wanted to hang that's fine but I said I did. I feel bad that I left her hanging but I would be nervous seeing her for the first time in years and going somewhere together. Might seem easy to some, but for me it's hard to get a conversation started. I want to hang out with her but I gotta tell her why I didn't respond for two months. I don't wanna sound like a bad friend.
>>700972007
Why not acting first and thinking later?
Sometimes I suffer from that, and that's the thing that I do. I don't think about it, and just throw myself from the cliff, sometimes the landing is not as scary as you might think.
>>700971543
yknow it's really funny that you say to let her be happy. she told me she wasn't happy until I started talking to her again. and I know it's gonna be hard but I'm going to let her go and try and let her find happiness in someone else because if she was truly happy with me then she would've fought and we would make things work.
>>700961705
yes. very. I'm an unemployed Web Developer and I had to use my own anti suicide Web page today. she left me and her best friend blocked me
>>700944973
>be in a relationship
>totally in love with her
>so intelligent, beautiful, fun, understands me
>feeling like this is the one
>6 months down the line
>sex isn't working, she's snapping at me a lot
>talk about it
>her depression has got much much worse and she had hidden it from me.
>unsure whether her depression is making the relationship worse, or vice verse, or both
>realise we have no option
>leave her house at 5 am
>cry all the way home
Quite like to kill myself, my dudes.
>>700972190
Perfect, use that when you're explaining this to her. Not so harsh though, just a passive aggressive thing.
I don't think i feel anything tbh /B/ros
It's been like this for a while
Been drinking most nights now, alone at my computer
The only time i feel anything is when she's with me... But she doesn't want me like i want her, she doesn't love me like i love her.
We've most things in common... Play the same games, Like the same shows, Laugh at the same jokes, Hang around with the same people.
She doesn't want me... And i want nothing but her
>>700970322
Stay strong (:
Had my thread on /b a while ago.
30 yo, married, one kid. Tons of money, great job, perfect little life.
Get depressed, meet 43yo milf. Falls in love with me. Stops me from killing myself (that time). Fall madly, deeply, profoundly in love with her. Milf is married, one kid too.
FF a month or two. Tried to push her away, tried to do the right thing many times. Impossibru.jpg. Eventually end up in a hotel room one or twice in a frenzy of love and sex. Guilt. Shame. Tried to kill myself. Failed. Fucking helium bullshit. In an out of hospital for a couple weeks.
Milf says she needs space to figure things out. Her husband heartbroken, hired a PI, found out about everything. I swear a warrior's oath to myself that I will let her go. Kept talking to one of MILF's friends. Get really, really depressed.
Today: planning to kill myself. Tell MILF's friend. Made her promise not to squeal. She does anyway. MILF calls me 7 times. I finally cave in and pick up. Back to square one.
I've got a major depression disorder, also malignant neuroleptic disorder so some meds are off limits. I'm on basic SSRIs at this point, and they're fucking useless. She is the only person I want to talk to. I vowed to protect her, but I couldn't not pick up the phone today. Now I feel like the past couple of weeks I pushed myself for nothing.
What do /b.
>>700944973
she left me today. For good. She blocked me and her best friend blocked me. We were in a LDR which are shitty Anyway. You dudes, reading these, it makes me feel less alone, others know my pain. We can get through this together.
>>700972413
Same Anon here.
She's off chasing a lad who's fucking with her, after she broke up with her (now ex) boyfriend she and him decided they want to have a "Casual" thing, no emotions, just sex, she's now caught feelings for him and all he does it beat her down (Metaphorically) and make her feel like shit... why can't she just realize it's not good for her... she's told me she's done with him and their "Casual thing" is over... she's lying...
>>700972615
lol. Nobody cares you fucking crybaby.
>>700972311
Mate. Relationships with real, clinical depression are HARD. Have been on both sides of that duel.
She hid it from you because she wanted to protect you, because she wanted to be strong, because she thought she could handle it. I took the same approach last time the illness kicked in. Nearly cost me my life.
She will try to push you away. Don't let her. Don't put pressure on her either, she has to get better before you have a chance of fixing the relationship, but in a couple of months, she will. Right now, it's not her. There's your lovely GF that loves you and is really happy you're still around, and there's the bitch with missing neurotransmitters and misfiring neural pathways. Learn to figure out which one you're talking to. Comfort the first one, take the second one in stride. She will go away eventually.
>>700962111
Steve Lichman
>>700972530
I try to, anon. I try. But I'm really afraid that someday this feeling (the lonliness, the bad thoughts and such) might get the best of me, but you know, c'est la vie.
>>700970322
who the fuck doesn't
>>700973576
I've met people that don't want to, at least not on an almost daily basis, so there's that.
current girl im with wants to be slower and go out to more edm shows. sorta feeling like its over
>>700944973
I'm always alone
>>700973689
happy fuckers
I've been friends with this girl since I was in 8th grade, and we were so close and we've always had a thing in between my girlfriends, so 3 girlfriends later and summer (this summer) after I graduated I dated her, and I found out she loved me the first time we've talked. And I grew on her and loved her too. We got into a small argument and she said something about my brother and I got pissed and dumped her. But after a few nights of drinking I realized how shitty I treated her and realized she was literally the one, so I came back (this was 3 weeks after we broke up, had to build up the courage) and she had a new boyfriend, he was in my class and after hearing that I just hit rock bottom, started smoking, cutting, burning myself with my cigs. I even tried to kill myself, not the threat I will, like I had the gun to my head but she called me and told me not to. After that I picked myself up and changed myself mentally and physically to be the Anon she had deserved the whole time. She said she was proud of me and said she'd gladly come back to me, but said she won't break up with her boyfriend, she even said she still loved me. But she just said we'll never have another chance and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I've heard it all there more girls out there but she was so perfect and I cannot live without her. I want to die but I have no reason to die, but no reason to live either
>>700973828
I envy those motherfuckers so fucking much.
>>700972182
I guess so. Maybe I could hook up for Labor Day. I'm trying to step out my comfort zone by going to public venues and events like conventions and stuff like that. Something I like mixed with something that boosts my social skills.
>>700956354
https://www.google.be/search?q=feeling+suicidal+the+world+is+your+oyster&espv=2&biw=1334&bih=830&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiVmLmI4drOAhVWFMAKHWhqCD8Q_AUIBigB
wait wat
>>700973967
yeah.
>>700973948
Well what the fuck does she know? Please. No way she'll stay with her rebound douche BF forever. Just wait patiently anon.
>>700974025
Exactly, maybe she will understand, you never know. Some people might understand your problem really well (well, not understand, but rather comprehend the situation) and might help with it to some extent.
>>700974392
why would you want her back
>>700972981
I wish I could be as optimistic as that. But she's going away to university, and I'm not going with her. I have no idea whether she wants it to work, or what the fuck is going on. I just want to die. I don't know if when I return the same thing will be there. She didn't want to have sex with me, but said all the things were there - she's not asexual, she was attracted to me, she loved me. Yet she didn't want it. And I'm so scared that if we get back together it will happen again
>>700947631
look up the red pill
>>700974475
Because I know she's the one, and I can't just let her walk out of my life. Deep down I know she still loves me even though she doesn't say
>>700974506
ok. That's different. God is watching: could she be a bit cray cray?
>>700974765
i read alot a bullshit here, but this
>>700944973
>You're never alone anon, 4chins will always be here to call you an epic faggot.
Epic Faggot
It was good to bleed the feelings out for a while, guys, but I have to go. Don't let your feelings consume you and always talk to somebody, you never know how much that actually helps. Good luck and take it easy, anons. I love you all.
>>700944973
I am now, fucking bitch ripped my heart out.
You'd think after 5 years I'd at least get a bit of notice before hand but nah. 5 years gone in 5 minutes. The dog I've had for 10 years died too, hit and run.
It's been a rough month...
>>700975720
epic faggot
>bitch
>>700974765
I went to my uni to activate my university card and took some crap papers that u have to take them every year.
Saw my crush she was a redhead, now is blonde like dafuck, hes dating my once called bestfriend. Rich parents etc.etc. She is doing everything what my bestfriend tells her.
She greeted me i don't, the day she rejected me was the last day i talked to my best friend and crush.Too bad even after 2 years it fucks up my day and makes me think about her.
Also this picture she doesn't give a fuck about you just like my crush
Just a normal question here...
What pills do i take and how many do i take to kill myself?
What alcohol do you recommend for me to drink with the pills?
>im done with life so might as well just end it
>>700975961
>so true it hurts
>>700976095
do something cool, faggot. do atleast the last thing right! useless scum
>>700973738
so bring something to the table man
>>700975961
meant this picture missclicked
>>700976179
Like what? I thought about drinking the pills,then cutting my wrists and jumping out of my window. An overkill suicide.
>>700976327
that sounds potato, you better potato
>>700976264
Suggestions?
>>700976120
Not going to unblock them on fb, and idgf what you think
>>700976265
>>700976120
its time to stop. jif
>>700975961
So then what do I do? I tried to talk to other girls and hang out/hook up but it just makes me feel worse
>>700974774
We've established that we both have serious depression, yes.
>>700976480
Try to ignore/accept it. I can do nothing too and i tried to get other girls/get a girlfriend but they rejected me. I think also this was the perfect girl, girl of my dreams.
Next 4 semesters we are sharing each semester 4 subjects where i can't avoid her and will fuck with my mind again.Also when my classmates found out i tried to ask out her they started to mock me "u are a great looking why don't u have a GF". This will drive me crazy.
I wanted to kill myself also but i'm too pussy to do it.
>>700976438
literally anything, but your perspective needs to change so you're active rather than passive. Noone likes a guy that does fuck all and relies on them for validation/pleasure, of course they're going to avoid you. Do stuff you like, and try and find something you like that involves being around others, but even if not then focus on doing it because it makes you happy and you can make your own pleasure without the need for validation. Don't be the victim, come to the table with something to give, work on yourself bit by bit until you are comfortable with yourself and don't need others to pull you up. Then people will come to you and you won't push them away anymore because you're operating from a different perspective.
>>700977448
I mean I'm in college I can try find something to do. But I can't make friends worth shit
Here goes what made my fucking day so good
>be me, 18
>today
>Finally gonna get my driver license
>Moms driving me there, it would take ages to walk there
>Trying to make conversation with her
>Out of nowhere, she just starts asking about my "friends"
>"You haven't been anywhere the whole summer, why don't you and your friends just go somewhere? There are festivals everywhere, or you can just go to some club or something. They go to places like this, right, Anon?"
>"No, they don't, they'd ask me to come too..."
I didn't have the guts to tell her that they go out all the time but not with me.
http://www.depressedtest.com/
what you got annons ?
>>700978143
Wow same exact thing with me. I feel you anon
>>700978282
Woot...
>>700978143
>>700978337
I don't get it. Are they friends then?
>>700978282
hm, seems like I've been doing a lot better since the last time I did the test
>>700978282
Major Depression: Very High
Dysthymia: High-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Moderate
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A
http://www.depressedtest.com/
tell me
>>700979136
They are, but not really good friends
>>700979298
Why don't you try to set some things up with them? Maybe they just think you don't want to go with them.
>>700978143
well, you got your driver license?
>>700978282
fun
>>700979479
How many times have I tried so far? Five times? Ten times? I've lost count. It's always the same.
>"Hey -Anons friend #1- wanna go to -That Party-? I've heard it's gonna be cool"
>"Nah, not really, I am not going nor anyone else, Anon"
>They went
Honestly, this has happened to me several times already, when I was excluded for some reason and I am sick of just sitting here, lurking 4chan and playing vidya.
I mean, I can go out but getting drunk alone is really depressing
>>700979978
yeah I did, although I don't really drive often so it's kinda pointless
>>700979298
>>700980405
they're not your friends at all then, let alone good friends. that's striaght up fucked
Why the fuck did I even fall for her
>>700978282
better than expected tbh senpai
>>700980405
And how about go alone, drink a little and talk with people. Not that depressing and you can also find new friends so you could stop talking with those who are obviously not your friends. Who doesn't want to do somethingseeks excuses, who wants seeks ways (thats really bad translation of saying we have in my country)
>>700977126
this made me laugh
why /b/ ?
>>700978282
this test was depressing.
putting all of my thoughts and fuck ups in a categorized order really puts shit into perspective
>>700980526
use that to get friends, be the driver.
>>700981186
>go alone, drink a little and talk with people
not him
but just imagine a 25 year old skinnyfat depressed drunk anxious autistic weeabo loser walking through the night trying to talk to random strangers male or female
tl;dr
I did it once 3 years ago
nevar again
the worst thing wasn't the people who were laughing about me...the worst thing was being ignored 90% of the time
I wouldn't even know where to start...
>>700982725
As I wrote earlier. You and only you are capable of changing something you don't like. If you whine about it and don't try to do shit, you just don't want to change it.
>>700981919
i know that feel
Be me
>Be 16
>Straight out of secondary school, going into sixth form.
>Want to study art, all I cared about.
>Instantly hit it off with the girls, good hair, athletic from school.
>Find this one girl 7/10, we start talking in art class.
>We click. That was it we just matched so well. Did nothing but talk and hold each other every day.
>Three months later, and I'm so madly in love, she feels the same.
>Find a lump.
>I got testicular cancer at seventeen years old.
>She can't take it, becomes difficult, always angry with me.
>Fuck it. Went on holiday to Russia with my dad, try to lift my spirits.
>It's the dead of winter back home so I buy her a Ushanka hat,
>Red square in the snow at night, thinking of my girl.
>Get back, call her, no answer
>Whatever I'll swing by anyway giver her the present.
>>700947631
Are you playing games extensively?
>>700983732
literal chills
nice
>>700983940
go on...
Kinda. My girlfriend wanted to take a break to better herself
Inb4 you got cucked or she doesnt love you
Nah she does she just kinda has a fucked up life and rushed into dating me cause she really does love me
Check these dubs, I mean, results.
How fucked am i /b/?
>>700971791
i cried
*Depression in men tends to manifest itself in the form of irritability, anger, and feelings of discouragement and low self-worth*
That fit me really good
Is this my ticket off this planet XD?
>>700982208
yea be ms daisys fucking driver
fucking great idea
just be the exploited cuck driver for chad & stacy while they're fucking on the backseat
>>700983435
>just be happy x.dee
great advice I've never thought about that dr sigmund schlomo freud
thank you for your help stranger
>>700978282
Well
>>700983940
She's wrapped around her 'friend' i should never worry about.
I'm broken.
Surgery is next week.
>Week passes and I can no longer sire children.
>I am totally lost, family is dysfunctional, lost my girl.
>TFW I gave up my closest friends to be closer to her.
>2 years later, I start getting into art again.
>Start making fallout mods, modelling, texturing.
>Still can't get out of this depression, need a companion.
>Get a job and start saving, keep going until I can buy a dog.
>Find the perfect breeder, buy him.
>I love this dog more than anything. He has been part of my life for four years now. I am happy for the first time in years.
>Pic related.
>His name is Monty
>>700984632
>>700971482
I don't know what to do. I've been fighting nonstop for the past month. Every time we make progress she just pulls it back, which is why I feel like she's subconsciously trying to block me out.
It's eating away at me, it just kills me. I deleted the app we use to talk today, I think I'm gonna try and leave it for a week, although I've already started getting the urge to check it again.
I love this girl so much and all I want is to be with her but it's eating away at me, I'm fucking hurting so much.
>>700944973
I'm not alone but I still got bad feels. I've been in the same business for 17 years and this summer I tried to get out of it. I got my dick kicked in within 3 months wound up broke and today I went crawling back to my old job like a fucking dog.
I realized this summer that I'm too old to change my life and my dreams are dead. Nothing to do now but wait for death.
>>700978282
Major Depression: Slight
Dysthymia: Slight
Bipolar Disorder: High-Moderate
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Very Slight
Postpartum Depression: N/A
http://www.depressedtest.com/
i think this sounds pretty accurate
>>700944973
i quit smoking weed and try to socialize again but its very hard because the only friends i got are hardcore stoners
>>700978282
Disorder Your Score
Major Depression: Very High
Dysthymia: Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Very High
Cyclothymia: Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A
>be me
>married in May
>euphoria
>life happens
>brother in hospital
>lose 4K from debt
>move to new city
>good friend dies
>dad dies
>lifesucks.gif
>text girl from marriage prep classes
>meet up a few times a week
>"let's talk about your husband and my wife"
>lie to myself that I don't feel for her
>keep lying as summer continues
>think I'm falling in love
>wake up at night one day
>"I should've married her"
>Starbucks with her recently
>"I'm moving to Alabama"
>12 hours away
>reality sets in
>text after we leave "I love you"
>"I love you too anon"
>>700985137
that's really fucking sad
will you atleast still be able to get a boner?
and there are still things like adoption you'll help
a little child who's all alone in the world
and btw I'll be a wizard in 5 years
there's no hope for me having kids ever
>>700985832
>Nothing to do now but wait for death.
same
the anticipation is killing me
>>700978282
Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Slight
Cyclothymia: Slight
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A
>>700946470
Girls are not to be trusted
>>700954318
Don't you have like friends who take that "parental caring" part away?
>>700985832
Dude you have a job, spray the moneyz
>>700988156
I think, i will never throw myself in a real relationship. I've been with a girl once for one month and it was not worth it. Relationships are just cancer
>>700948667
Bump because this thread is still alive.
Fucking hell I'm hurting even reading this kills me.
I don't know what to do.
>>700988847
Just earn that money, get that car u always wanted, get a reasonable house and then start caring about girls
>>700988536
Oh yes I have access to all the depths of excess and sleaze that a dead end lower middle class middle management job in a service industry can afford.
Is there such a thing as being addicted to sadness?
After hanging with friends, on the drive home (I live a ways from everyone) I think of the good days I just had but suddenly my heart drops and I can't figure out why. I start listening to sad songs, I can't seem to smile? Is it simply the way that I express the sadness of good times ending? Missing friends? Ido, I don't feel lonely per say I just feel... empty. And I know i could probably get myself out of it with some upbeat music or just good thoughts but I can't seem to get to that point. I come to feels threads to be sad. The thread reminds me that I'm sad inside, that I can't seem to find my place, I can't feel comfortable where I am. That I feel alone. Maybe not physically, but emotionally I feel out of place no matter where I go. I know that these threads remind me of how sad I am, but I show up anyways. I can't seem to figure out why...
>>700948667
Have patience everything will come when the time is right, just go with the flow
>>700989464
What do you mean by this?
>>700964994
get a cool hobby
there you can meet people
I would be sitting alone at home too, but 4 times per week i go to my sport thing and have fun and those people like me and i've made good friends with them
>>700989519
Long distance relations are really the hardest but atleast you have someone to talk to, girls are not always 100% sure about their feelings so if you show patience she knows that you will be there to catch her when she needs someone
>>700971482
Different anon here, My story similar to other anons Long distance, but am I fighting myself? I think she's worth it. It's so hard. It hurts.
>>700989050
Right!
Now I have some feels to share (but not the best story, no greentext because phone)
Me, 19 years old.
I study biology right now but i've never been one of the good students. I've been at this university for 1 year and didn't get shit done. Thought about quitting but biology is the only thing I am interested in so there is no way I could quit. My parents gave me the choice last month: either I continue studying or get something else to do, otherwise they would kick me out. I can't disappoint them again so next time when I have to learn for the exams I will spend months on Ritalin to get shit done. Not the worst thing that happened here (or will be happening but it's still bothering me
>22
>gf throwed because she thinks I stupid and ugly
>dreams broken
>tried to kill myself with overdosing meth., hypnotics, alcohol
>mentally disorders
>From Russia
>no one cares, they just dancing around me and laughing
>>700989248
But hey there is a reason they put you in depths and thats because they know that you can make it out, otherwise economic crisis starts all over again
>>700989878
I don't have her to talk to anymore that's the point.
I've tried for a month to fix it but I'm starting to lose hope and my heart is falling apart.
>are you alone this summer
Anon, I always feel alone, whether I'm with people or not.
>>700990105
That is why I want to stay a lonely fag without relationship. But dude, don't kill yourself because of a girl, that's stupid. Go out there and do some crazy stuff, live the life!
>>700990016
Oehh biology is also my favourite subject, hoping to study biomedical sciences next year at the university however good people/scientist are the ones who learned from their mistakes and yes that takes time
>>700944973
He was my first real crush. Other girls at my school got a crush on every single boy in sight. They fucked and got pregnant at 14, some even have their fucking kids in their dorm rooms. I stayed single. I rejected offers. It was all for him.
He had shown signs of liking me. STRONG signs. We would cuddle with each other and watch shitty videos all afternoon long. He had me in his contacts with hearts by my name. He would blush when he saw me.
I was at his dorm the other day. We were talking, and I asked him who he liked.
He told me he liked an emo girl. Said he was going to ask her out the next day and if I could help him out.
I saw them holding hands today and it hurts so fucking bad knowing I wasted my time with such a big piece of shit.
Don't reject offers for your crush. If an attractive person asks you to the movies, go. If a 8/10 asks to talk to you, go.
Don't fuck up and waste years of your life like I did
>>700948667
Damn bro. I had a similar story. Alone my whole life until I met a girl online from another country who got to know me, fell in love me and wanted to be my everything. She was all I ever wanted. But I could't find a time or means to meet her, a year passed and she told me she was depressed about us and broke it off. We were gonna lose our v cards together. I feel so sick right now.
>>700951609
>A gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros.
thats called a whore, anon. :( wish you were right though
>>700990165
If she is the one, and you let her know that you think that about her and she denies then you have to accept, love is all about seeing the ones you care about being happy
>>700990465
It's hard as fuck mate, at least for me... not as funny as you would think but quite interesting
>>700990177
>Autism speaks
Nobody's going to hold your hand through ever waking moment of consciousness, princess.
>>700990105
dont kill self over stupids girl. move and find new girl make you happy. <3
>>700990750
I get what you're saying but at the same time it's so impossible to give up on when you believe in it so much.
Like this is something I genuinely believe in.
>>700990707
Fucking hell I hope she comes back I don't know what to do without her.
I hope she realises how much I meant to her. I must mean something. There must be something.
>>700944973
DUDE, LOSERS LIKE YOU EXIST SO THE REST OF US CAN SAY- "WELL AT LEAST I AM NOT THAT BAD OFF". THANKS FOR EXISTING SO MISERLY.
>>700990777
I know its hard, school is hard I didnt pass my next year for two times now, parents are losing faith in me, but I really want to make a difference in our medical sciences
>>700948667
So with everyone apparently taking the positive option in this thread I'm going to tell you something else, I'm not going to tell you what to do, you wouldn't listen anyway. I am however going to tell you that it might not work out the way you want... talking from experience, you can't fight for something like that alone... no matter how hard you believe, if she doesn't then... I won't get into my own story, mostly because /b/ has herd it enough times, and I'm currently fighting to move on with my life.
But you need to be prepared for the possibility that you have to give up before you rip yourself to pieces... i realized that way too late. And if it doesn't work out then remember that you did all that you could, but you cannot carry someone that doesn't want your help, or doesn't realize that they need it... It's not going to be your fault for giving up to save yourself. And don't fall into this pit with the rest of us... it's so fucking hard to get out of again.
>>700990859
You don't really seem to get it, but I'll try explain it to you.
Let's say I'm out with friends. Let's say I'm having fun, having drinks and chatting to people, being socially functional (which I am, just to point out, and no I'm not autistic or anything like that.) All is good.
But then there will always, without fail, come a moment where I suddenly feel like I'm not actually there. Like I'm just invisible, an observer watching other people going about their lives, having fun on a night out, and I'm completely separated from it all - even though, obviously, I'm not.
It's not the idea that I should have someone there 24/7. It's the fact that when I AM with people, I don't FEEL like I'm actually there.
>>700991180
Don't want to take your hopes but school is nothing against university... but if you have a strong enough will, you can do it!
>>700991193
Yeah I get you it's just so hard when you believe in something so much y'know? Like if I thought this was over I'd be gone but I believe in us and I believe in a future with us in it.
>>700991017
I've had kinda the same problem, time suddenly seems endless, there is no goal in your life, what am I feeling? Its indeed hard to let go and accept things how they are but get some alone time, watch cartoons because they are always happy and totally not depressing or go hanging out with friends cause your friends care about you too
>>700950285
Oh fuck. Ouch.
>>700990105
just take the drugs and get high
I maybe haven't had gf in 10 years, no friends and a mental disorder
but as long as I have my drugs, I'll be king of the beach in my mind...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6dEfAedJpg
fuck my life
>>700991172
How about we trade places, you satisfy your curiosity, I live & appreciate your life more than you could ever fucking imagine.
>>700944973
I'm 32, I'm divorced, and I haven't had sex in over a year.
I have way better reasons than that to long for death.
>>700991196
schizoid?
>>700981751
made me laugh, too
shit's so far gone, beyond sad
it looped back to funny again
it gets sad again when I keep thinking about it though
>>700944973
>just crashed car
>hardly seen friends lately
>band has made no progress the last month
>ex just got out of rehab and hit me up
>been doing hard drugs again lately
>depressed again
>owe money left and right
>dad went up and left/moved recently across the country
>mom and I are financially struggling now
>dont have work for a couple days
>not sure what to do
real tired of coming back to these threads for so many years
im 22 next tuesday
I feel like im going nowhere slowly
>>700983402
iktf :(
>>700991650
Yeah I'm trying to get myself out and keep myself busy but somehow she manages to force her way into my thoughts. I've tried deleting the app we communicate on but I still keep thinking about her.
I just constantly feel preoccupied. I don't feel normal I feel like there's always this part of my brain racking its head around this. I'm exhausted constantly and I just want to be happy with her.
>>700992039
What kind of drugs?
>>700991394
Idk what its called in english but its like my year before going to university and they introduced new learning material like quantum mechanics and neurologics in my country
>>700991934
Nope. I think someone from another thread said it's some sort of like detachment thing. I dunno. Either way, it fucking sucks. It gets me in such a bad mood, because from the moment it strikes it makes me feel like no one actually wants me to be there, or knows that I'm there, and that I may as well not exist. It's fucked up man. Drinking always makes me feel so depressed because of it.
>>700991649
I know /b/ro... believe me i know.
I just hope that it works out for you. I wouldn't wish this kind of experience on anyone.
If i could at least hate her for treating me like trash... that would be easier, then it wouldn't have to hurt like this, just knowing that i gave her all of me, and that wasn't enough.
>>700991682
WHY NOT JUST GROW A PAIR AND BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT IF IT'S THAT BAD?
no just got me a gf bout a month ago, shits great
I hate my job
I hate my living conditions
I hate my girl
I hate my car
I hate my family
I'm poor
I'm fat
Thinking about homicidal spree.
>>700944973
I am forever alone and don't feel anything faggot.
>>700992419
Yeah break ups are also included in the package
>>700992206
heroin, meth, xanax and coke
mainly heroin
I'm gonna force myself to be off everything the next week
but that means I can't be around certain people
my manic depression is back
I wake up early everyday before work or my alarms and see the sunlight from my blinds
I sigh and say fuck to myself knowing im gonna feel shitty all day
just leaving this here.
:(
Yeah. Only girl I felt a sliver of attraction to in the past year ended up having a boyfriend so that left me pretty bummed. We get along pretty well too. I'm just tired of having to put on an act for them.
>>700992337
Yeah I hope it works out too.
I hope she realises how much I mean to her and how important I've been in her life for the past few years as both a friend and as the man she fell head over heels in love with.
>>700992473
do it without guns
or some other country than the us
I'm depressed and shooting is one of the few things that gives me joy, don't fuck my shit up f a m
>>700992094
Well you gotta really take any thoughts about her out of your head, play some gamea that require a lot of focus cause tell you this only time will heal you and since she didnt talk to you everything kinda froze so its her part to do something
>>700953228
It's just evolution, dude. Some people don't realize it's a competition because they get caught up as kids in the idea that we're in a utopia of order.
Also, in your picture, Death is full of shit. Life is real, and so is death. The thing is that life has substance, whereas death does not. If anything, it's death that doesn't exist, just the absence of life.
>>700946390
Damn... just damn
>>700992838
Good luck, sincerely, and from the bottom of this fleshy thing in my chest. Good luck.
>>700992473
You can like change all of dat, only thing you need is a will to take you out of it
Guys, for all of you: IF you feel lethargic and tired all day, let the doctor test your blood! I did that and it turned out, that I was missing some things. Now that I take them, I am way more energetic and have the will to actually stop being lethargic and unproductive
>>700963430
this pic is wrong
Let's say you travel something like 2x the speed of light, on earth, and we'll ignore the acceleration that would just kill you.
When you're at Time = X, look back at your trajectory and you should be able to see yourself. (Multiple times i guess, but it would be too fast for your brain, so you would have to take a picture, and the distance of all the pos to you should be the same, to eliminate the time diff between each pos, that's why the trajectory is a curve )
That's the same with sound, or like playing football alone (soccer, for Americans), you just have to run faster than the ball if you want to turn back and hit it before it hits the goal.
If you think i'm wrong i would appreciate if you explain me why.
>>700991400
JOIN US! LET THE EMOTIONS FREE. ROLL FOR RUSSIA
>>700990403
But I born in fucking Russia.
Born in fucking russia, that gave me fucking anxiety disorder with derealization and alcoholic parents.
Only she treat me for 5 years my mental disorders.
Insomnia just fades away when I lay with her, it's enough for me. I didn't need sex, just hugs and looking at her. Of course I fuck her every time, coz she wanted it, I am not impotent. But sex with her not important for me, she just replace my mother which left me every time in childhood.
Now I'm completely alone. No friends, no parents.
And I understood that girls like she.
>>700992777
DUDE YOU SOUND LIKE A WHINY FUCKING BITCH. THE WORLD IS ROUGH AND GETTING ROUGHER. YOU WON'T MAKE IT. KILL YOURSELF
>>700993263
Damnnn russia is hard, why is it that they learn elementary kids how to fieldstrip an AK or is that all a meme?
>>700992569
Did you ever think about going away? What is there that keeps you wherever you are? Don't just stay there because you are used to it, travel, do whatever but get the fuck away from the drugs and the people that influence you that badly
>>700993047
Thank you
>>700992397
I'm not a fucking dumbass, that doesn't solve anything.
>>700993268
I'm able to compartmentalize my vulnerabilities, asshole. This is nothing I'm going to kill myself over, but it's still a tender area that's worth discussing imo.
>>700993268
i agree with the caps lock retard...you sod whiny as fuck
>>700978282
Heres mine
>>700992630
What's this supposed to be about?
I thought depressed people were depressed about something. If there's not something to depress you then why would he be depressed? I don't get it. It's like he got shot or something.
>>700993660
yeah...go to red-dit and discuss it you whiny cunt. it's fucking faggots like you that are destroying 4chan..compartmentalize a .38 to your brain whiny faggot you cringy no life fucking weirdo
>>700993166
Are it like meds or vitamins cause meds fuck up your body even more longterm
>>700972680
> be me 22
> be her 23
> be in relationship several times
> this time serious
> letgo.jpg
> time passes
> everything is fine
> more than ever
> we laugh, love, fuck, go out, talk about future, kids
> I'm buying an apartment
> she is looking with me
> we gonna live together?
> summer comes
> she wants to work out of the country
> ask me to understand when she goes offline, doesn't call or answer
> okey.jpg
> times goes, her bday is coming
> was already planning to surprise her
> got plane ticket
> got place where to sleep airbnb
> an my trip of 2000km starts
> I go there
> All happy to see her, to hug her, kiss her
> wish her happy bday
> When got there
> when I came infront of her
> she just stared at me
> saying "Are you crazy? What are you doing here?"
> I'm silenced, thinking count to 10 and then leave
> she hugged me, I sayed
> fool.rar
> Got super disappointed
> when returned I decided to stop the understanding
> from than we fight alot
> because I stopped being stupid.
> She says she is disapointed at me
> She says I changed
> She doesn't understand when I told her
> "Girly, one day my patiance and understanding will stop I hope you understand."
> She didn't.
> The day I felt alone and yet I was surrouned by so many people, was that day.
> pic related
>>700993263
That sounds sad ... I don't even know what to say, i've never been in that situation. Did you ever tell your gf about that?
>>700944973
yea kinda. gf made out with one of my best friends while i was shitting, couldnt get over it. now i feel like noone will ever want me again, because every girl i meet instafriendzones me. im afraid i behave so desperate that they sense it and never take me serious.
i feel really alone this summer, well i kinda felt alone for longer but now im litteraly alone and i dont even meet ppl anymore. cant wait for university to begin, because thats something i am really good at. doesent help me to make someone want me, but still, its good to be good at sth.
>>700993491
primarily my band but we take vacations and our own time off all the time
to be honest I just don't know how to
I've considered putting drugs really out there so I can seek help and potentially go to a rehab or facility to get away
Id love to travel but I dont have the time or money
I just came back from a visit to see my dad and the rest of his side of the family
it was terrible
made me really depressed
saw a buddy of mine who moved out to a state a few hours away there
I miss him so fucking much
I really want a break but I just cant man
I have to keep on keepin on or whatever and help pay for things with my mom
But I have to make sure I do it clean
>>700993878
No, no meds! They are just things, that my body doesn't produce enough (coenzyme Q10 and something else)
>>700993877
Everyone here is discussing their gay shit, but I kinda see your point. Sometimes I'll come in here and say the exact same shit you are so I can't blame you. Also I've probably done more with my life than you.
>>700993263
Be strong, like mother Russia! You can get up from fall. There are other good girls. If you can find a foundation to build on, you will do well.
>>700948667
I'm in a similar position OP. I was in a long distance relationship that turned closer distance during the 5 years that it lasted. We got engaged, then she had to move across the world. She broke up over me because of the distance 1 month before i moved there to get married. Huge distances make fixing anything very...very hard. Its been 6 months and we're back to semi open relationship status. But it's not the same..she keeps backing away at every little thing. Only advice i could give you is to just enjoy it day to day. Nobody knows the future, live in the present. If you love her keep it going even if it's not easy. Who knows, you may meet someone else and this will end. Best of luck to you friend.
>>700978282
Wut wut
>>700994030
suicide you fucking cunt cancer spreading bitch...it only gets worse for whiny fuck heads like...just do it fuck face
>>700994030
Best of luck with that, man! I hope you make it!
>>700994141
like what? whine on 4chan because you have no fucking other social outlets?look...you will eventually commit suicide so film it and let us have one last laugh on you
>>700944973
You want a feel thread alright let me give you mine
>Be me 13 years old
>Meet a guy on Dailymotion
>Became friends with alot more people
>I was a NEET
>A Decade past there my best friend
>10 minute ago got piss for a something ridiculous say goodbye.
>Still piss and regret it.
>Thinking about suicide KEK.
Fuck I feel for yall. Recently just asked a girl out and she said yes feels good.
>>700994253
Why are you just trying to shit on everyone? What the fuck dude. You sound like my 9 year old cousin, trying to act tough by belittling others.
>>700994485
Nice dude, good luck!
>>700994473
do it..commit suicide bitch aids spreading fag
>>700948667
>>700990707
>>700991150
Sorry anons but it's time to give up. I wasted 4 years of my life on a long distance relationship, but as long as it's only one person fighting for the relationship then the relationship will not survive. Idk, in my experience women never try as hard. The more you try the less she will and this will leave you a husk of your former self when she decides to finally end it abruptly and with no resolution.
I'm single still a year after that but hey at least i realized that I tried...but you can't force someone to love you back.
>>700994136
Hmmm thats odd maybe you need to eat like moar veggies or something cause normally ur body should produce it just fine or maybe in your case its genetically mutated however I wouldnt prefer taking pills or so if you can do without
>>700992912
Yeah I need to find a way to pass the time so that I don't constantly dwell on it.
I just hope she realises how good we were.
>>700993816
That's how it is dude, sometimes you take all the basic advice for not being depressed, go outside and talk to friends, eat healthy, think positive, and you can be feeling fine all day and it will come back back seemingly for no reason and it puts you on your ass, like a dementor has just sucked your face off. This is a common symptom of depression.
>>700994593
Thanks!
>>700994394
That's a pretty small aspect of my life, yeah, and sort of. There's no consequences for me expressing myself honestly, outside of here it serves little other purpose because people are more preoccupied with having fun and that's totally cool.
So yes, I have other social outlets, just not ones I can be particularly open about because I hide a lot from different people.
>>700994690
Exactly take care of yourself first cause the one who cares the least is leading the relationship
>>700978282
Great
I crave love.
I had a girlfriend once. Once.
So that makes it all the worse because I know what I'm missing.
I'm missing that feeling having a girl laugh at all your jokes.
Missing that feeling of holding hands with a girl.
That feeling of somebody loving you.
I'm so lonely.
I want to die.
>>700994485
well done, champ-kun!
k-keep me posted
>>700993816
>I thought depressed people were depressed about something
actually that's the opposite.
>>700994838
I don't get it though. Without a depressive thought, or depressive circumstance, why would you just automatically be depressed when things are fine?
It seems completely absurd. I can understand faking feeling fine, but to be depressed with no reason for it. It's just, self-destructive and, well, absurd.
>>700994690
It's hard when you love someone to just let it end. Especially when it's so out of the blue.
I think my 27 yo boyfriend's cheating on me with his 16 yo sister. They took a shower together while I was sitting with their mom and other brother and step dad knocks on the bathroom after noticing their absence. Sister yells, "*ASSHOLE'S* TAKING A SHOWER" and he just wal k s away saying, " I'm not getting involved"
I rush to the bathroom door to bullshit and ask for his keys and he doesn't open it. "Why?"
Finally get him to open the door for two seconds, takes keys, he shuts it quickly. She's not in her room.
Family and I all get to restaurant, everytime sis ter always wants to sit next to asshole. Today he sits on the opposite side of the table.
Step dad makes a comment after she pouts about it, "they hold hands under the table.. we pretend not to notice')"
I said, I know. I think it's cute.
They both get very quiet.
She's a skinny model, 6'5 and he always makes weird comments about her, she's always hanging all over him and kissing him
I want to throw up here's my nudes
>>700993423
I not fully understand what is fieldstrip with AK. Maybe you mean they all have AK in pocket or in equip. Nope, it's lie.
But I say, Russia is fucking hole with dirt and full of stupid addictive, instinctive people, which makes lots of fails in their lifes, but despite on it, they makes childrens(like me), which in 80℅ cases will suffer of illnesses or financially.
>Meet girl in college. Shes weird and cute...different.
>We start talking and hit it off.
>She lets me know right away she's had issues with depression okay.jpg I've had a history with that too, I can help with that.
>We more or less start dating for a good 6 months, but she's still weird, like shes only partially interested.
>She breaks it off with virtually no word or warning, just kinda vanishes.
>I try to get something out of her...anything.
>She eventually joins a sorority and we eventually start dating again.
>Get to third base, which I think is odd since we make out and get really physical, no sex though. But that doesn't matter because I love this girl.
>Again, she breaks it off in more or less the same way.
>I text every so often, not trying to be overbearing.
>She responds sometimes, ignores other times.
>Over the course of 4 years we go in and out of relationships in more or less this way.
>I've dated others in this time but it never felt like what we had
>I hit her up about a month ago
>She responds.
>We hang out.
>I learn that she moved in with someone for a few months, that really hurts. I could never convince her to move in with me.
>I learn that as a freshman in high school she was sexually assaulted and raped.
>I learn while she was living with this guy a friend of his raped her and they all stopped talking.
>She started talking to some guy she knew in high school and opened up to him and is now forming some sort of relationship with him.
>Heartbroken again.
>I love this girl and I can't seem to have her.
You know that feeling you get when you're around someone that feels completely right, like actual love? Like you can be in a relationship and have all your sexual needs fulfilled but there is nothing there emotionally? Being with her was so much emotional fulfillment the lack of sex didn't even matter. I just want to be with her, I want to make her know its alright, that other people have dealt with pain like that too.
She is my soul mate.
>>700994724
Idk why it doesn't. I eat healthy and all that. But taking a pill in the morning (which is not medicine) and be active all day is totally worth it. Before I made the test, I didn't get anything done, I was just laying in bed all day because I had no energy at all
