You came home from work early and caught your 14 year old son making out with another boy in his room.
now, assuming that you are a well adjusted and mature adult, what will you do?
Rape them both?
That's the right thing to do right?
>making enough money to buy a house
"Jonathan! You are not allowed to have friends over when I'm not here. Go to your room. Timmy go to your house before I call your parents." Wait for timmy to leave and explai why he's grounded without using the word "homosexual" or any slang of it.
I dunno, I'm gay too so I assume he'd be adopted. I wouldn't mind, obviously.
It would, however, signal that it's time for a very serious, in depth sex talk. Like not just wear a condom, but also how anal works, lube, cleaning etc. Trying anal without any experience on either side could potentially be pretty dangerous and painful.
Well if porn has taught me anything, I'd tell me son what a pussy he is and teach him how to suck a cock. We'd then take turns taking his cock up our asses and I'm sure it would be a great father-son bonding experience.
Also your option:
1) 720°, walk away
2) Join the raimbow team
3) Fuck you, I'm Spodermoon
grab a beer out of the fridge, smoke a bowl, throw condoms at them and tell them that if I hear anything I'm setting the house on fire, only stupid fucking summerfag kids and homophobe closetfags care about this shit
Rip their faces apart and jam my hard cock into his boyfrienda mouth and blow my load on my sons face. Asserting dominance always
Probably feel really awkward that I intruded on that... Say sorry then leave. After his "friend" left I'd ask him if he was gay. That's really it.
fuck them both
there's nothing better than a gay threesome
theres no need for a condom if they're both in highschool, and its not like anyone is getting pregnant
imo condoms are for throwaway sex with random strangers where you dont know how clean they are
yes to the lube and all the rest though
I actually have a 12 year old son, I'd do this:
Say 'Son, can you come see me downstairs when your friend has gone home?' Walk back out of his room but leave the door open.
Then talk to him and ask him if he's definitely gay, make sure that he wasn't pushed into it. If all seems okay and I think it was what he wanted to do, tell him that you're a little shocked, but it's fine with you as long as he's sensible and still respects our house rules.
Be secretly and incredibly disappointed. Go downstairs, tell wife. Listen to her say how it only seems like yesterday he was a baby.
Tell her that it's worse for him because time flies when you're a faggot.
Take off my belt, beat the new age bullshit out of both of them, make them eat 20 pounds of raw steak each then have a Clint Eastwood western marathon with me. No son of mine is a faggot.
Fixing your presumably unbeknownst to you faggot son and his boyfriend snacks after walking in on them seems to be about on par with sheer level of social ineptitude and feigned confidence present in the egg meme.
I'd say it fits.
kick his ass for being a flaming homosexual
pic related it's my face when I caught him
Thanks comrade Putin i live in Russia, there is no fags
Fucking retards dont understand algebra...
I havent even completed it yet and know how stupid you are
>not fixing your child a drink and a snack when he has a friend over
>thinking being nice to your child and his friend somehow shows social ineptitude and feigned confidence
>thinking i give a fuck wether the kid is gay or not after the initial surprise
god, you're going to be the worst parent ever and a terrible host too
Say "hello, I'm home early" and move on.
This will make them feel awkward at first but they will know that i noticed and know about it from now on and that it's no big deal to me.
beat them both up and hang around with them for days on end, forcing them to go up to girls and talking to them,
>Say sorry and walk out
>Explain that this type of life will be hard if he expose
>Grounded because this is not the thing you do when in my house
It's his life, but he must know that the world it isn't made of cottom candy.
Smack them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilCmywMin8I, then call a escort to fuck the fag out of them
tell them to use protection if they bang because aids is a real risk amongst gay men.
then later on when my sons "friend" is gone i make sure he knows im okay with him being gay, just dont bang any strange old men or niggers.
>it's gay so only gay people do it therefor it's gay
Circular logic. There are many ways in which you can make someone do something they wouldn't normally do and/or do not enjoy.
>work for county
>would prefer kid to be gay so no kids
>There are many ways in which you can make someone do something they wouldn't normally do and/or do not enjoy.
Even if your forced to suck a dick, your still gay.
Just like even if your forced to kill someone, your still a killer.
Only Jesus can fix the disease of homosexuality. I would speeddial the Priest immediately.But anyway in long term I would send him to catholic school ran by monks,where the kids are not allowed to leave the campus. Lucky bastard we are not Muslims, otherwise Allah acting thru my hands would have to kill him.
I would be like 'holy shit i have a 14 year old son and i only just noticed', and then i wouldn't judge his lifestyle choices because my insanely neglectful parenting suggests i'm not in a position to judge anyone.
"Son while I respect your decision to be a degenerate homo, You are living under my roof and no son of mine is going to be a sausage warmer. So if you want to continue with your ways of immorality then you will spend the rest of your days without the use of any of your limbs"
at this point I imagine he yells that he hates me.
"WE CAN NEVER GO BACK TO ARIZONA!"
pretend i didnt see anything, walk out, and secretly wish i had that kind of action when i was 14
> thinking I give a shit about white superiority after I'm dead
Op, I got caught in this exact scenario. It was eight years ago now. Ehhhh I'm prolly a little gay but I haven't done anything w a dude since or even been compelled and had multiple partners and two relationships since. I think it's just easiest that way. Used to work for a Mexican mechanic that spoke only spanish, and that guy had gay and bestiallity stories that make most ppl on 4chan now look like upstanding citizens. Really changed my perspective on the value of sexual orientation. Pic related. my gf now.
so you base what you like on assumptions ?
"man this restaurant is gonna suck, i've not tried it but i'm 100% sure it sucks"
what if its the best pasta there ever was?
>see son kiss boy
>throw spaghettii at his face
>slowly eat spaghetti off of face
Did you seriously think that was funny? What's wrong with you?
You wouldn´t try to eat shit because your instincts tell you that it´s gonna taste like shit.
The same goes for faggotry. You arguing like that shows that you are a true and utter fag.
I'd do what any loving father would do.. Tell them it's fine and our house is a safe place for them and encourage more fooling around. Next day when he is at school install hidden cams all around his room
Blow me stormfag
I'll admit, I laughed, that's good but there's so little protein in semen you may as well say there is none.
In any case, avoiding the matter at hand by making them snacks and retreating is hugely cuck status. If you're going to try and pretend it did not happen it should involve a bottle and cursing, somewhere private.
>sit and stare at the wall
>put Christmas lights up
>write alphabet on wall
>wait for my real son to make contact
>tell my other kid he has to kill his brother because it's a monster
>sucking a erect, veiny, throbbing dick is the same as getting shot with a bullet in the face
explain this in the clearest way possible...
Tell him that even though I disapprove with the thought of homosexuality he's his own person and can make his own decisions?
Fuck, I'm a republican, not an asshole, but he best not be hanging around no niggers.
I would LMAO at them. Two fucking faggots who will suffer a lot dealing with world's hate. How couldn't it be funny.?
There's not much you can do. Tell him you're disappointed. Leave some KY on his nightstand.
>immediately leave room
>be confused and crack open a bottle of 25 year old glenlivit and cuban stogies I was saving for my sons 21st
>he'll now want Virginia slims and UV vodka
>smoke and drink in my study while watching World War 2 documentaries
Kek no male heir
The male nuclear y chromosome only mutates 0,3 % per generation.
This is why we used to have male upon son inheritance to ensure the bloodline.
Most countries in the world still know this but the west forgot and is quickly losing their genetic identity because men dont have male offspring any more.
calmly explain to him that what he is doing is wrong and if i catch him doing it again that he is getting disowned. i then immediately take him to find a hooker and make sure he has sex with her
if it could even be recognised as an attempt at a joke and wasn't a meme than its got slightly more humour in it than the vast majority of /b posts, but the lack of bitterness towards other posters or random people does make it very out of place, to the point of drawing attention i guess.
Yeah but his micro penis small enough that we pretend we're straight
I don't give two shits if my son turns out gay. As long as he stays happy and safe.
This is fake.
However, this is the single motive I drink sperm now.
Greatest thing I did with my life.
If I'm fucking a chick I'm putting my penis in the vagina. If I wanted to fuck a dirty butthole I'd just go on grindr.
And who the fuck wants a BJ? What is this? 5th fucking grade.
I meant the photo, anon.
But really, I don't care anymore.
What a time to be alive.
You know that you can have stds without having sex, even without knowing.
Best example is herpes, more than 30% of the human population have herpes. Many without even knowing.
And herpes can be fatal
Not even homophobic.
But I'd slap the shit out of him.
Drag him back in the house.
And lecture him on personal conduct.
He wants to be a fag, fine, but then I'm gonna treat him like my daughter.
And I ain't raising no T.H.O.T.
Thx i wanted this image for my folder for a while now.
Plant dope on him and call the cops. If he wants to be a faggot, let him try it out in prison. No son of mine is gonna be a pillow biter. I'd rather he was dead. No faggots, no nigger lovers, no welfare moochers, no gun-phobes.
A well adjusted and mature adult would expect a 14 year old boy to behave like a 14 year old boy, so walking inside his room, and be "surprised" by whatever he happens to be doing there at the time, is something only a retard who has no understanding of human sexuality would do.
It's very unlikely something like this would ever happen, but if I consider everything I know about the world, I would rather him bringing home somebody he knows, than having him exposed someone else, simply because he doesn't feel safe enough to do his thing at home.
Better having him being a faggot somewhere safe, with somebody he trusts, than having him being a faggot god knows where, with god knows who.
>tfw nobody mentioned its geometry
I think you should all be banned
>dad true out my youngt worried asking if im gay
>perv on stepmother
>get kicked out of the house end up with crazy stephdad tells me to work , get job
>work 60 hours a week in construction because why not overtime its not like i have a life together
>no time to spend money
just say: "hi boys, there are some frozen Popsicles in the basement, lets go have some"
you stupid nigger, i bet the white folks that fought for the north during the civil war would not have bothered if they seen what a bunch of ungrateful cocksuckers you niggers are now,
yup, i agree, parents can not control what their children wants, i would do the same thing, and just accept my child's homosexuality and continue to provide like a good parent is supposed to do
Fucking queers. If I came home and found my son (which I actually have a son) making out with another man I don't think I could bare it. I am an atheist so I don't have a religious objection to gays, but they are degenerate pieces of shit and deserve to be exterminated from the gene pool
Wasn't meant to be edge. It is the truth. Homosexuality serves no purpose in procreation. A faggot cannot pass on their genes without a woman. Their genes should not be allowed to continue on.
>omg guys he fugged a girls butt
We all think your totally kewl now
>>Dad came home and caught my brother (15) with other dude.
>>Kicks him out of the house
>>calls the cops
>>brother arrested for breaking sodomy laws
>>told me never to let him in the house, he brought aids to toilet seat and we could catch the gay
I just don't think anyone finds it suprising is all I was trying to say. i.e. nobody fucking cares. "I've done anal!" Is something you say as a freshmen in high school to try and get everyone to think your cool.
Make sure they use condoms and lots of lube. That part of the body is not meant for that. Also make sure they know they are acceptable targets in the eyes of morons, and should consider taking self-defense classes.
Being a father to an 11 year old boy I can impart wisdom. Something similar happened to me. I spread my butt cheeks wide to a friend that was sitting room on my bed. Mom walked in, kicked him out and it was never spoken of again.
I'd kick the boy out my house and take the piss out of my son until he probably tried to take his life
It's more common than you would imagine.
Holy good fuck the special snowflake complex is being vindicated to no end. They're GIVING THESE KIDS FUCKING DRUGS. That should be a serious criminal offense. Although I will say trannies that start hormones before puberty are a lot more convincing.
Smart people don't belong to religions you silly willy
>apologise for interrupting
>wait till the evening
>sit down with my son
>ask him about his sexuality(if he feels 100% gay atm, or if he was just curious etc)
>tell him I'm fine with that
>warn him about lube, condoms, safe sex n shit
>just tell him I wish he'd wait with actual sex at least until the age of around 16
>be secretly jealous that he got to have gay experiences this young
also, assuming he'd have 2 daddies and be adopted since I'm biscum libtard cuck, I'd probably be a bit paranoid that he turned out gay because of me and my partner but w/e
Probably get him a book of safe sex like these ones:
>everything nasa tells us is the truth
Are.. are you player hating NASA for exploring SPACE? You... think you have PROOF of the CHRISTIAN BIBLE being the irrefutable word of god?