Prison Survival Survey. How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?
>Height
>Weight
>Body Type
>Gender
>Ethnicity
>Ever been in a fight?
>Personality Type
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
inb4 "I don't want a cellmate" too bad, just pick someone, and the average prison isn't co-ed so y'all can't just pick the one girl in the thread
>>700931861
>195cm
>98kg
>Solid, not ripped but not fat
>M
>Australian/Caucasian
>Lots
>Extroverted
>Depends... I would probably try to avoid confrontation if I could... if he assaulted me I would go for his throat, eyes or groin and attempt to do as much damage as possible as quickly as possible.
>No one else in this thread yet... anyone who was easy to get along with and wasn't in for a child sex crime.
My stats.
>5'11
>165lbs
>Muscular but not bodybuilder
>Male
>Cherokee Indian
>Plenty, taekwondo state champ, and NAGA champ
>Introvert
>Fight, even if you don't win you prove a point
>This nigger would be fine
>>700933164
>I have been to jail before
>old timestamp
>>700933716
you would get raped when in a jail with lots of nigs
>5'10
>185
>kinda average, some fat.
>male
>Latino
>Nothing serious no
>Introvert
>fuck if I know lol. Those kinda of decisions are made in the moment. Right now, i'd probably do nothing.
>I'm alright
>>700931861
>Six foot two
>190
>Muscular but a little bloated
>Male
>Middle eastern (not arab)
>Few times
>Personality type? Don't even know what to say. I'm laid back but I will stand up for myself.
>Depends if he's well connected or not
>OP
Ausfag.
Been to jail twice. Only got in one fight. Dude threw condoms at me and said your cell or mine. Instafight. Kicked the shit out of him then his friends got involved and pummeled me. Got moved to a new block immediately.
Im a standard 4channer except I dont have a neckbeard and im not morbidly obese
>>700934189
Who actually judges our likelihood of survival? You OP?
>>700931861
>6'3"
>260lbs
>former d-liner, mix of muscles and some fat
>m
>as white as it gets
>a lot when I was younger
>extrovert
>take him to the ground with me and smack his head repeatedly onto the ground to cause as much damage as possible. Take his place in prison hierarchy this way.
I'll take this one as cellmate, looks like a man with moral standards-
>>700933164
>>700934704
anyone whose actually been to jail/prison
>>700934765
You watch to much fucking tv. Prison aint like that. You kick someones ass over food you aren't perceived as a badass. His homeboys will fuck you and leave you bloody.
You're idiots lol
If you don't knock the motherfucker out you're showing everyone you're weak and from there they'll just fuck with you nonstop and probably jump you.
>5'8
>220
>mostly fat but muscular around arms, upper body and calves
>male
>mexi/white/filipino
>more than a few
>asshole
>punch him square in the jaw and assault him while he's down
>no one else because you're all huge pussies at the time of typing this
>>700934996
Are you fucking stupid? That's literally what prison is.
>193cm
>105kg
>Built fat
>Kiwi
>Just knee-boxing when drinking
>Pretty quiet
>I would try avoid fighting but would if it came to it
>I would probably choose this guy >>700933716
. Sounds like he would have my back and could teach me something about real American culture
>>700933531
Fuck yeah this guy is my room mate.
>>700935107
You ever been inside?
>>700934996
Seems like you must have been not leaving your room for too long, that you take threads like too serious.
>>700931861
>Prison Survival Survey. How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?
>>Height
5'9" or 5'10"
>>Weight
240 lbs
>>Body Type
Slightly muscular and overweight
>>Gender
Heterosexual male
>>Ethnicity
Hispanic
>>Ever been in a fight?
Never. People never messed with me.
>>Personality Type
Depends on the setting. Normally I'm quiet/loner, but I imagine I'd be as social/easygoing as those around me in prison.
>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Call him out on it, attempt a diplomatic approach, but hold my ground if that won't resolve things.
>>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>>700934175
This nigger
>5'7"
>176lbs
>Muscular, low body fat
>Male
>White
>Haven't been in a fight but am coordinated, fast, and strong
>Make friends relatively easily, people gravitate towards me and are rarely aggressive towards me
>probably wouldn't do anything this time, if he kept it up i would confront him
>>Height
6
>>Weight
225
>>Body Type
not obese. not skinny
>>Gender
male
>>Ethnicity
hispanic, but im white skin white name
>>Ever been in a fight?
never
>>Personality Type
>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
probably wouldnt do shit. but id be way more fuckin careful next lunch time.
>>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>>700935183
Yes. I have.
How about you?
>>700931861
>197cm
>130kgs
>Solid, bit chubby but not fat
>Male
>Maori/European
>Yes
>Protector, Charismatic
>Firstly wouldn't have let that happen.. But nobody takes my fucking food. RIP CUNT
>700934765 I'm white. you're white. as long as you're not gonna be a faggot or cry in your bed at night I'll have your back mate.
>
>>700935404
>>700935404
Actually I'm choosing you. Kiwi's gotta stick together. (your post wasn't up when I replied)
>700935156
>Height
5'6
>Weight
124lbs
>Body Type
skinny with b cup boobs
>Gender
MtF transgirl
>Ethnicity
white
>Ever been in a fight?
no
>Personality Type
enfp, shy, friendly, I’ve been told I’m a bit naive, sarcastic
>You're eating lunch and a large fellow walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
apologize
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
since this country sucks, I’d probably get sent to a male prison, so >>700933164 please be my friend and protect me
>>700931861
>1m83
>79kg
>Build
>M
>Withe (Irish)
>Ever been in a fight? Yes. w/l ratio : 3/1
>Personality Type ? Talkative, smooth talker
> " - Alright dude you won. No more "baboche" for the C block. HEY GUYS ! DO YOU HAVE HEARD THAT, NO MORE FUCKING BOOSE FOR THE C BLOCK, AT LEAST FOR 2 WEEKS... IF SOMEONE WANNA COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS, ASK THIS FATASS THAT DOES'NT KNOW ABOUT CIVILITIES... I won't make any more, sit on it."
> >>700933716 this dude sounds nice, always need some muscle to stand up with the brain.
Prison anon here. I'll r8 you fags.
>>700933164
You'll be fine in prison
>>700933716
Assuming you aren't lying you'll do good, but get into a lot of fights if you brag about being able to fight
>>700934175
Of you didn't fight the guy that took your shit you'd get labels as a bitch and wouldn't make it
>>700934189
Same as the guy above, you have to fight back. No exceptions.
>>700934765
You're big, you should be fine
>>700935023
You'd get fucked with but you'd have homies that would have your back
>>700935156
You would get fucked with everyday if you didn't fight the first guy. If you picked fighter anon as your homie you would be okay as long as he didn't beat your ass and steal your shit too
>>700935231
You'd get the fuck beat outta you, then cry and get put in pc.
>>700935253
You'd honestly just get stabbed
>>700935301
You'd get your ass beat too. Better hope you don't like commissary because you'll be selling that for protection (which doesn't work)
>>700935404
>what happens when a 4chan user from /v/ goes to prison
>>700935606
You'd get sent to the alt ward in Amerika. You just have lots of gay sex and a few fights until you died from HIV
>6'1"
>115kg
>Stocky, muscled & built like concrete
>Male
>Caucasian/European, Kiwi
>Plenty of fights, have combat training
>INFP (I do well in social situations, just don't particularly like them)
>Beat his ass and then use it to leverage my position in the prison
>Who gives a fuck.
About 5'7
Guessing 160 pounds..?
Skinnier, but so flexable I may as well be rubber
male
Japanese(ish?)
Way more fights than I can count, and my attention span would only let me count to about 100 anyways. And only if it were for hide and seek.
Generally unintelligent, but always stands up for friends. Like, ALWAYS stands up for friends.
I've destroyed cities for an offense as grave as stealing my food.
Anybody can be my roommate if they make good food. Or are funny. Or are a walking talking skeleton.(which can be categorized as funny)
>>700931861
>get sent to prison
Lol only niggers and low lifes go to jail so your question is invalid because it will never happen.
Also look at all these tough guys itt that wouldn't even lean forward in their computer chair to pick up their chicken tendies they dropped let alone fight someone.
>Height
6"
>Weight
220
>Body Type
Built
>Gender
M
>Ethnicity
Mexica/white
>Ever been in a fight?
Plenty of times
>Personality Type
Extrovert
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Fight
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>>700935606 this guy because he sounds like a big pussy who can be intimidated to do my do what I say/be my little bitch.
>>700935752
What did you "go in for"?
Prison guard here. I think I'd be alright. I'd run the underground honeybun market like a boss.
Also will answer questions about what prison is actually like.
>>700935961
honestly if you were willing to protect me i'd maybe ok with that
>>700935809
>>700935404
>>700935534
chea boys we can hook up a hangi in the yard. I'll bring the paua and do-bros
>>700936235
crack up
>>700936120
do you fuck the prisoners?
>>700935822
Your b8 is shit friendo
>>700936107
Assault with a dangerous.
I got off super fucking lucky for being white and getting a good lawyer. I only did a year.
Been in jail a few times as well for minor shit like getting too drunk.
>>700936339
>prisoners
Inmates* and no.
>>700936319
I dunno though bro I hear Mt Eden has a proper fight club ring there so those uces can fight good
>>700936390
drunkards cells is not jail.
>>700936129
I'd protect you as long as you understood that your stuff was my stuff. and I would pretty much own your commissary too.
>6"2
>150
>thin and lanky
>M
>white
>yes
>pretty social
>"Why would you dress like a monkey and swing from things homie?"
>>>700933716
>>700931861
nice try, feds
How fucked you are in prison has nothing to do with how strong you are. It's all about how you interact with everyone else and how you behave.
Big difference between min and max security too.
>>700936390
>Assault with a dangerous
Story on how you got assault with a dangerous?
>>700936396
take any bribes? Or get threatened/extorted?
>>700936396
Neither is wrong, moron. Faggot on the internet playing prison guard confirmed!
>>700936447
my uncle works at the new wiri prison bro i'll get us in good. even took the opening day tour inside
>>700936491
Shut up faggot you wouldn't own shit in prison.
>>700936491
what does commissary mean?
>>700936586
chur cuz! Just gotta find us some mongies to blaze with in there and we good
>>700936616
Commissary is prison slang for asshole.
>>700936596
Ever been?
>>700936616
Your account that your family puts money in. You can buy shit like food at the shop.
>>700936349
Nigger sighted.
>>700936472
If you cause enough trouble you end up in jail
>>700936547
I hit a guy with a metal pole
>>700936683
already heard a few guards picked up charges for slanging dope inside haha, good ole serco aye.
>>700934189
יא גבר
>>700936559
What are they gonna bribe me with? Inmates don't have money they have inmate accounts. I'm not gonna take a bribe of some rollies or stamps lmao.
>>700936569
Well there's not a fucking chance I'm posting anything department related to 4chan because I don't feel like getting fired so I guess you'll have to take me at face value.
>>700936616
Where the inmates buy shit with their accounts.
>>700936691
huh.. that's oddly sophisticated
>>700936732
yeah that's what the dictionary said when I looked it up so I was confused what that had to do with prison
>>700936732
I thought that was only for jail(comissary)
>>700936543
Huge difference between min and max. I have 2 mates who spend one spent 2 years and the other 4 in a prison in Aus that was low-med security and most the people in there are either thieves or drug dealers (young normal blokes who got caught with bulk drugs in night clubs)
My mate that was there for 2 years only witnessed 2 fights and didn't experience any physical confrontations and my mate who did 4 years was part of an education program (he was a teacher who was arrested for torching his ex wives lover's car) and a lot of people respected him for teaching them how to apply themselves to finding employment once they finished their predominantly short terms.
>>700931861
>6'5
>195lbs
>muscular but not as strong as I used to be
>Male
>White
>I was in the army
>I keep to myself
>Smash the food tray up into his face, while disoriented break his nose and knock him out, proceed to eat his food if he has any
>>700935961
sounds pretty good
>>700936750
You sound mad :^)
>>700936812
>יא
Heil Hitler
>180cm
>70kg
>not fat, not muscular
>male
>slav
>few times
>introvert
>at fight take something heavy (If i can find it) and try to beat him
>>700935819
>>700936120
i made the guards my bitch. got one fired and had the rest exempt me from shake downs and let me transfer to whatever job i wanted out of fear. which i then used to always volunteer to clean the medical and psych pods with girls, and sat around talking to them the whole time, and work the jobs where i could actually fuck the girls because they were unsupervised i was allowed to walk the halls unsupervised (minus the 2 people watching the 2000 cameras)
>Height
5'11
>Weight
155 pounds
>Body Type
Mr. Skeltal+a bit of sinew to keep it together
>Gender
Straight male
>Ethnicity
Whiter than white
>Ever been in a fight?
Shoving match shit, nothing worth saying that I actually won
>Personality Type
Likable comic relief with a little temper
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Probably laugh at him. If he walks away, whatever. If he kicks my shit in, probably laugh
at him. A week from now, I'll shank him in the kidneys while he's playing basketball.
>Cell mate
>>700935728
>>700935404
>>700935231
>>700935809
One of these shit heads to keep the heat on them not me
>6'4 (194cm)
>93kg
>Mostly muscle (working out for 11 years 7% bf)
>Male
>White (Denmark)
>Countless times
>Confident but not an asshole, kind to anyone who is kind to me
>Confront him about it if he thinks he's tough and is okay with eating my shit I'll fuck his face up till it changes color
>Na yall pick me
>>700936848
they could threaten you or your family
>>700931861
6"3'
300bs
Fat but strong
Male
White, American redneck
Several
Extrovert
Grab his balls and squeeze until they pop while biting into his torso
In prison it would have to be with another white guy to avoid being shanked in some gang initiation shit. Preferably someone smart enough to at least play chess.
>>700931861
European fag here
>185cm
>83kg
>thin legs, kinda thick arms + deformed chest and abdominal fat
>male/straight
>White German no blond
>yes twice and one group brawl
>joking a lot. Seem serious but fucking scared of fighting, cry like a mad bitch if I do but I kinda won every fight cause fear makes me go crazy
>I know I'm his bitch if I let it pass and prolly get raped or enslaved. I'll pick up someone's tray and spin it at him and then prolly jump him or get jumped. Prolly will do anything to show I'm a unpredictable psycho who will shank you if his twisted mind tells him to.
My mate?>>700935809
I need a tank
>>700936848
if you don't know how inmates bribe guards you're not a guard.
>>700936784
haha you're gonna have to bring in the conepiece and lighter in your butthole though bro
>>700936768
Your reading comprehension skills are off the charts.
>I hit a guy with a metal pole
Isn't a story; it's a statement. Fucking retard. No wonder you went to prison.
>>700936855
>>700936848
>>700936856
oh.. so it IS about financial stuff, why did that guy say it was about my ass
>>700936964
> I'll shank him in the kidneys while he's playing basketball
> One of these shit heads to keep the heat on them not me
dude, really ?
Did two years inside, never got punked, never had to beat anyone up. Told the gossips a couple stories to keep people scared, was polite without being generous, didn't start shit, and kept my temper. Stories were good enough that a guard thanked me once for not killing a guy, even though I'd never laid a hand on anyone in sight of any person there. LOL
>>700931861
>that white guy in the back
>Height
5'9
>Weight
125lbs
>Body Type
Slim
>Gender
Female
>Ethnicity
White
>Ever been in a fight?
Nope.
>Personality Type
I'm quite introverted. But I don't really know my specific type.
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Just let him keep it.
>>700931861
185
106kg
pretty muscular from years of hard manual labour, wide as a bookshelf basically(not fat just really wide shoulders and)
White/eastern european (not slav)
Lots probably atleast 30 fights
if someone would take food off your tray its a test and if you tolerate it you're basically saying that you're a cuckhold and you'll be fucked with endlessly, no reason to fight him but sure as hell won't tolerate it
extrovert
>6 1
>93kg / 205lbs
> big shoulders no abs but not really fat either
>m
>Irish
>Ever been in a fight? plenty
>ENFP
>I would lose my shit, even if i knew this guy would kick my ass. everyone needs to know u can't fuck with my food
> >>700935809 this guy cos european and not some american dreamer
>>700937231
Sorry, didn't read the last part correctly. Just let him eat the rest of it and do nothing.
>>700936958
Well you sure do bullshit like a convict.
>>700937032
Nobody takes convicts threats seriously. They never threaten us anyways because that's automatic box time. The only time they pop shit is when they're in keeplock. This is what we call being a "cell gangster".
>>700931861
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I didn't realize this was a cringe thread
>>700936812
I don't recognize this language
>>700937231
Raped.
Sorry sistah
>>700931861
>6 Feet/187cm
>220~lbs/113kg
>Fatty with muscle underneath
>Male
>Caucasian
>Not in the last two years, before that plenty
>Introverted, but can get into autistic fit of rage with retard strength
>I'd probably be a bitch until he attacked me, then use my retard strength to topple him, sit on his chest and beat his head
> I choose >>700933164 cause I always get along with aussies
>Height - 6 FEETS 5'
>Weight - 150kgs
>Body Type - BIG FAT CUNT
>Gender - MAN
>Ethnicity - RUSSIA - GERMANIC
>Ever been in a fight? - EVERY DAY IS FIGHT I HAVE STABED
>Personality Type - I AM FUN GUY
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do? I REMEMBER FACE AND TAKE HES FOOD EVER DAY AFTER THES. IF HE TRY STOP ME I CHOKE WITH ARMS
>Cell mate - >>No.700935606 URE' BUTHOLE IS MINE
>>700937155
I see what you're saying here but like really is
some nice guy going to fix it either
>>700937239
(know this from experience of being jailed a couple of times (no longer than a couple of weeks a time from minor drug charges and soccer riots/fights)
>>700937231
If you are female chances are a male isn't going to come up and eat your food unless it's a guard you stupid bitch.
>>700937389
dude, stan someone is the easiest way to strat some cosmic shitstorm, that'll probably land on your face and butt. (in this order)
>>700937506
stab*
>>700937408
Yeah, but that was his fucking question. I would do the same if it was another female taking my food.
Just let them have it.
>>700936988
Wanna be cellmates?
>1'73 m
>70 kg
>athletic
>straight male
>countless times, i also did boxing
>pretty chill guy but i will defend myself if provoked
>prolly laugh it off and plan for shanking that bitch
>>700931861
>6'4 for Americans
>110kg
>Muscular
>Male
>Eurasian? (Kazakh)
>A few
>Fairly calm
>Attempt to cripple him if he isn't a "big guy"
>>>700933716
Dis nigger
>>700937528
Alright you're my new cell mate
How you plan on garnering respect with an all out
fist fight? I ain't a big man
>>700937293
funny thing is it's true.
a guard did something not only against policy and flat out illegal in front of me, and the commander was watching it on camera. and they can't talk about ongoing cases to the rank and file officers, so all they knew is that i had a meeting with the highest level guys (the jail commander and 2 captains), and a guard was fired as the result of that meeting.
i doubt it was a coincidence that they consistently avoided me entirely and skipped my cell during shakedowns after that (when they hadn't before).
the job preferential treatment was for reasons beyond that, but i did get to select any job assignment i wanted. and like i said it was jail, not prison, and that means there's girls in the building too. but so few they don't have enough trustees to do the jobs that require clearance to be outside the double doors, so that meant men worked the jobs i described.
>>700931861
>NSA thread
nice try
>>700937635
by making this clear :" If you mess with me, you mess with everyone".
>Height 6'7"
>Weight A little over 22 stone, mostly muscle
>Body Type Bearmode power lifter
>Gender Male
>Ethnicity White, ancestry 3/4 Irish, 1/4 Assyrian
>Ever been in a fight? Not since I was 12
>Personality Type Introvert, serious social interaction requires alcohol
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do? Rape him.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate I don't care as long as they're quiet and not a homo
None of my stats matter because i would just make a shiv and stab anyone that would bother me until i got killed or sent to solitary (where i would stab myself), i'd take any cellmate because he'd be the first one to get stabbed
>190 cm
>94 kg
> a bit of fat a bit of muscle
>male
>arab
>yes actually fought in some amateur muay thai tournaments still have the medals
>calm and isolated but quick to anger at times
>depends if it's the first few days/weeks i'd try a diplomatic approach later i would probably have joined a group by then and even he knows better than to start that fight
>>700935156
>he seems to be a rational guy also similar stats so i assume we won't be having much trouble
>>700931861
>5'7
>130lbs
>skinny
>male
>hispanic
>yeah
>aggressive normally, i'm pretty edgy
>run if possible
Depending on how long I'm in for.. a year would probably break me until I rape another guy... I already wank a few times a week, mrs doesn't mind, knows she can't keep up with my needs and i'd rather just knock one out instead of getting agro. wb you cunts. (straight guy btw and the poor cunt that's getting fucked will be feminine)
>5'11
>143 pounds
>Pretty athletic not alot of fat on me
>Male
>White Irish
>3 but tbf one was getting jumped by >like 5 guys who knocked the shit out >of me
>ENTP I'm pretty friendly and if I
>Don't like someone I'll ignore them
>I'm going to have to hit this cunt so I >don't get assfucked later
>>700934765 I choose you
>>700937708
>rape him
>as long as they're not a homosex
Kys retard
>>700931861
H: 1,78
w: 91
BT: Muscular, athletic
G: Male
E: Latino, not mex
F: yes I have training in kick, thai and mma and i actualy enjoy t a lot.
PT: im pretty chill, i dont want problem with anyone but im always paying attention, I used to live on the street by myself and raised by dogs since i was 3 until i was 10 that i was adopted.
>>700937703
I respect you, but I feel as tho you'll get raped before me.
Someone help me out here, is the prison hierarchy really about these
fucking alpha wolf challenges? Not everyone in prison is ready to rape
a guy who didn't want to die over a sandwich
>>700937293
guards get poop and wee wee thrown on them. When I was in prison I made wee in a cup and threw it at the guard.
Let's just say I'll come of prison dead, or with my asshole looking like the front part of a blowhorn.
Or both.
>>700931861
>height: 191cm
>weight: 85 kg
>body: ectomorph
>gender: male
>ethnicity: white
>ever fought: no
>personality: ESTP
>food theft: continue eating
>cellmate: >>700935809
>>700931861
>Height
6.1
>Weight
200
>Body Type
Flabby
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
White
>Ever been in a fight?
Sure
>Personality type
Antisocial
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Start a fight to establish that even though I can't fight, I'm not about to let anyone fuck with me.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
OP, so that I can have someone to fuck.
>>700935728
You are going to die
>>700931861
>180 cm
>75 kg
>Not huge, but muscular. Buly dwarf
>M
>White spanish name
>mma fighter so yes, also did a lot of grappling tournament
>Adaptative, i change behaviour depending on who is with me
>I'll try to sucker punch him, even tho i like ground game if he get back up and im wrestling with him his homies are gonna kick me butt to the shadow realm
>>700933716 as my cellmate, talking ufc and shit
inb4 "I don't want a cellmate" too bad, just pick someone, and
>>700931861
>Height
>Weight
>Body Type
Regular to lanklet.
>Gender
>Ethnicity
caucasian male
>Ever been in a fight?
Yes.
>Personality Type
Real Bro.
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Smash my ellbow in his face as fast as I can. This is a test, and if I show weakness, the next weeks will be hell.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
I would probably pick the laid back jew who can stand up for himself:
>>700934189
>>700937880
do you lick you butthole to keep it clean ?
'Cause this kind of skillz are kinda valuable in jail.
>>700931861
I just got out of jail. I know it's not prison but it wasn't bad. It's boring but not bad. Just spent a day there this time. Spent a few months there back from mid may to july on a heroin charge.
>6'
>200
>has muscle but also a little chub
>male
>white
>yes, only won a few though
>depends on the mood. Mostly passive but can get a wild hair
>if this is the guy who you want on your side, take it. Better to have some sort of allies
>>700937231less chance of arguing and fighting in the cell
>>700937889
The only realistic answer in this whole thread.
Everyone else should kill themselves.
>>700931861
>181 cm
>120 kg
>fat but muscular
>Male
>Germanic
>Yes
>Bipolar,Extrovert and Introvert, malicious, revengeful, good sense for justice
>If I got life or death sentence try to stab him with some sharp object I have hidden deep in my anus before incarceration, if I will get out by a chance then i will comply and figure out in my cell how to avoid this in future
I take every cell mate I get
>5'7
>220
>A muscular fat. Very stronk
>I have a penis
>Too many to count
>Introverted, but I'll stand my ground when necessary
>Smash the fucker's nose, pull a double leg takedown (I was in wrestling in Senior High), after he's on the ground I start smashing his face in, my target being his nose and eyes.
>>700935023 This nigga my type of homie.
>>700937920
sad. stupid bitch.
>>700931861
> 185cm
> 110 kgs
> builtfat
> butterfly
> white masterrace, blonde, green eyed
> I grew up practicing swimmimg and water polo, so yes there was loads of fighting, picked a fight with some kids cop dad cuz his don was too much of a weakshit. His father ran away scared.
> extroverted with a self-righteous side
> I would cripple him for life, fucking with me has consequences
>>700933716
This anon because I always wanted to get to know an indian and I like fighting, so I'd probably pass the time learning some tricks from him.
>>700931861
>>700931861
>2m / 6'7
>103 kg / 227lbs
>Babbys first bulk
>male
>white/west slavic
>yeah, but long ago
>very peaceful but if you talk shit, you get hit
>if he looks like he could beat my ass and the guards won't do anything, then probably lift moar and reck him in a few months. else try to reck him on the spot (and prolly get beaten up in the process)
Probably with:
>>700933164
or
>>700934765
>>700937982
Yay!
We're different genders, but if they ever mix them I'd be happy to have you as a cellmate.
I'd just read books and leave you alone.
>>700937935
>mma fighter
>did a lot of grappling tournament
>i like ground game
>>700937153
Because people tell lies on the internet
>179cm
>86kg
>more muscular than fat
>male
>slightly tanned white guy
>a lot when I was a kid
>introverted
>probably kick him in the stomach or punch him in the temple and keep going from thereon
> >>700933716 seems useful
>>700931861
>Height
5'9"
>Weight
180
>Body Type
average
>Gender
/b/
>Ethnicity
white/asian
>Ever been in a fight?
yes
>Personality Type
not a bitch
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
fight
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
the one girl in the thread
>>700931861
>6'4
>235lbs
>Tall and athletic but out of shape due to injuries
>Male
>American/Caucasian
>Been in multiple fights, used to compete in Muay Thai and BJJ
>Quiet one day cant shut up the next
>Fight even if i lose it will send a message
>Cellmate
>>700934765
>>700937883
I don't see you point dude, but watev.
>>700938160
You clean your shit and I clean mine, we are all good.
>>700938160
LOL if you got thrown into a male prison with a male cellmate the last thing you'd be saying is "Yay!".
>>700931861
178cm
76-77 kilo's
average body type
male
Arian.
been in a lot of fights.
introverted
cry for 20 minutes.
I prefer to be alone.
You fags have been watching too much movies. Starting a fight doesn't guarantee no one is going to fuck with ever again. And you better hope they don't have a crew.
Try that shit and watch how fast your ass will be found dead bleeding from your asshole with dried tears on your cheeks.
>6'1"
>220lbs
>Heavy/Muscular
>Male
>Caucasian
>Fought around 20 times with my bare fists. 2 with an actual weapon.
>Aggresive
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Take the tray and bash his skull in with it.
>>700931861
>194cm
>82kg
>130cm shoulder, 114cm chest, 75cm waist, 90cm butt
>male
>nordic
>training, yes - street fight, just twice.
>ENTJ
>He wouldnt do it. Im quite sure about it, because I would prevent in before. But to answer this question in a more fitting manner: try to get my goffel in to his thorax.
>700933164
he seems easy going, would drink a beer with him.
>Height
182cm
>Weight
75kg
>Body Type
Lean Muscle
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
White
>Ever been in a fight?
Never.
>Personality Type
I avoid confrontation but no one has ever tried to fight with me. I have been told I have some real charisma so idk maybe thats why.
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Probably talk to him, Ill probably succeed in getting the guy on my side.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>Height
5'7 manlet
>Weight
207
>Body Type
Stocky wide shoulders wide chest
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
Puertorican
>Ever been in a fight?
Plenty raised in the south bronx new york
>Personality Type
Social pretty much can make friends and good conversation
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Automatically hit the fucker in the throat kick him in the fucking face. First sign of weakness well fuck you for your whole sentence
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate >>700934175 take this guy join the local Latin gang for protection.
got out of jail last week. went in on a bullshit agg ass w/deadly weapon. Got dropped. It was chill. mainly played dominoes and dice. Slept between meals, gambled all night. was in prison for a year about 4 years ago, pretty much the same. Only less bullshit tbh.
>>700938312
Manlet.
>>700937302
Another salty shit b8r.
You feel cool yet, buddy?
>>700938217
My point is everyone's forgetting what real life is like
Like if he grabs your food it doesn't mean everyone is going to rape you
If thats what it means, straight kill him
If its like reality, then laugh, its funny
>>700938346
ur doomed
5'6"
59kg
skinny
M
USA
Never fought
Introverted
Would ignore him and not give him a reaction
Probably take this guy >>700937918 as cellmate so I can make him my fuck bitch
>Height
5'10"
>Weight
260
>Body Type
powerlifter
>Gender
male
>Ethnicity
Asian
>Ever been in a fight?
Yes
>Personality Type
Monk
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Attack him with the sole aim of breaking something of his. finger, rib, orbital, anything.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
uhh...someone i assume won't mind a quiet celly with minimal commissary income and tends to be introverted? idk.
(did a 4 month bid on an assault charge in county. was quiet and easy going. no ciggs kinda drove me insane though)
>>700931861
lol everyone are so /b/adassess!
muscular
fighters
talls
more than 200lbs
violent as fuck
the delusion in this forum is amazing
>>700935606
you wouldn't last 5 minutes unless you learn how to suck dick
>>700937951
nah, i was taught how to do it the way humans do it, so not anymore, I used to take baths in a lake with the dogs while we tried to catch fish and frogs to eat
>>700938471
Kinda hard to see that you're the only one here that life sucks deeps enough to get tilted on these kind of /thread ?
>>700938471
No badass here. Lost way more than won. Just if I am to get violently ass raped in my cell, want it to be on a clean floor. Have to have standards.
>>700938303
One day there will be no male prisons.
It's already started with the transgender thing. Once it becomes discrimination for a man not to be able to use the womans room, the whole acceptability of gender discrimination will fall apart, and mens prisons will be illegal for the same reason you can't have a 'black prison'.
if i ever get arrested again im so showing up in court in a dress and wig and suing to go to girl prison
>>700938440
how so?
>>700938205
Sorry, someone already picked me.
>>700933716
You ever see the jail scene of that movie blood and bone? Let's just say it won't be you doing flying kicks and shit but instead shanked and dead on the bathroom floor.
>>700931861
- 5ft 6
- around 70kg
-male
- Italian/Greek/Australian
- maybe around 3 fights
- friendly
-flop my cock out
if i would have to go an us prison i would be so dead.
>>700938186
Example; this whole thread
>>700938658
whoever the fuck you are
>>700938174
Whats the matter kid, scared of my bjj purple belt
>>700938471
>not having superior genetics in 2016
>not having some form of fighting experience after 20+ years on the planet
>not being /fit/ in 2016
LUL
>>700934189
My post ^
I have a question, what if I get sent to one of those prisons where you have to join up with a gang of your race? Since those gangs are almost always blacks/whites/Hispanics and I wouldn't fit in anywhere, what would be the best course of action?
>>700935752
I think it matters more how well connected he is than how big and tough he is, but either way there is a very strong chance I'm starting a fight.
>187 cm or 6'2"
>94kg
>normal to overweight
>male
>anglosaxon plus jew
>haven't been in a fight
>introvert
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
I'd do nothing
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
No
>>700938817
Wow watch out, I have a purple belt and ill tell you a purple belt doesnt mean shit
>>700936493
same lol
>>700938658
Oh so if it was like jail I guess you wouldn't be able to do anything when a group of guys storm into your cell and start raping you in every hole while your cellmate does fuck all about it.
>>700931861
5'8"
70 Kg
Slim
Male
Mediterranean
Very few but I fight dirty. I bite, throw chairs and use rocks as hand weapons
Goofy and introverted most of the time but socially and well-mannered
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
"Really? Aren't you a fuckin' walking stereotype. If you want more protein maybe you should suck off your cellmate.". Would go rabid-dog mode if he fights me.
Hey, if I'm in prison, I generally have little left to lose and the upside is people know I'm not a total bitch.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>>700935809
Every Bard needs a Warrior.
>>700938852
I know just enough to get my ass kicked.
>>700931861
This is why I don't ever wanna go prison. Will get anal fucked by errrrrone.
>5'11
>70kg
>Skinny
>Male
>Chink
>Nay
>inb4 nignogs pick me to be their personal sex doll.
>>700938596
There's tons of trannies already in prison. Here's how it works: You got a cock? Male prison. No cock? Female prison. Unless they segregate them to their own facility, I could see that happening. But there's not a chance they'd let a swinging dick in a female facility. They even watch male officers like a hawk in female facilities.
>185cm
>90kg
>Musclyish, typical homo bear fantasy
>Male
>Caucasian
>Alot in school, beat one or two guys silly until their 10 friends show up and beat the shit out of me and fought dirty, but not for a few years now
>Reserved, recluse, observant
>Stand up look him in the eye with my best "I'm about to go ape you fucker" face and ask him nicely to replace my food. If he didn't I would go straight for a knee in the balls
>>700937264
cellmates! Irishmen are usually fucking devils in a scrap
>>700938913
Yeah, pretty much. But I probably wouldn't be placed in a male prison because you know..im a girl.
But this thread is just for fun, obviously,
>>700931861
>172cm
>69kg
>doughy
>Male
>White
>No
>Introvert
>Nothing, I just want to serve my time without adding onto the sentence and this isn't a movie
>Don't care about cellmate
>>700939005
I asked my girlfriend who has been to prison like me and she said she would make you her personal fuck bunny.
>>700938984
yeah i know post-ops can go to female prison.
10 years ago anyone would have said there's no way the federal government would order schools to let men with penises into the girls locker rooms in schools, but here we are.
...and you know technically the policies in some places today don't even outright prohibit it, it's supposed to be case by case.
>>700939005
Oh it happens in female prisons too. When Big Bertha the Bulldyke porter comes around with a mop handle, you might want to lock in.
>>700939098
I don't doubt that.
>>700937264
Woah calm down connor mcgregor before you get choked out by some white lanky goof again.
>>700938962
you are the exact stereotype of asian i strive against, physically at least lol. who knows, we could be cellies and get by as the super slim minorities in jail. i was the only asian in my 4 months but everyone left me alone when they figured out i could draw (locked up between thanksgiving into feb)
>>700931861
>Height
6'1
>Weight
220
>Body Type
I look like the guy in the middle, but a little bit thinner.
>Gender
male
>Ethnicity
white
>Ever been in a fight?
Yes
>Personality Type
introverted, passive aggressive, misanthrope.
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
I'd never be in general population, I would be in administrative segregation so this would be a non-issue. But as a for instance i would fight, and probably lose. It is better to fight and lose than to be viewed as a bitch.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
I don't have nor want any friends, least of all a cellmate.
>>700931861
>6'4
>260
>Chubby
>Male
>Nigger
>Plenty
>Awkward/Dark
>Be salty
>>700936964
>>700931861
*5'10
*Fat fuck
*Fat fuck
*Male
*Half Mexican half Polish
*No
*Introverted
*Spend a really long time making an intricate improvised weapon because I'm shit at combat but good at explosives, weapon crafting, etc
Idk who to choose as a cellmate
>173cm
>78kgs
>Athletic
>Male
>Australian
>a couple of times
>Quite but if I have something to say I'll say it
>Try and make a joke out of it and keep it casual. Try my best to avoid confrontation
>6'2
>11st ( Bong here)
>Not ripped but well toned
>Male
>Upper Class White Englishman
>Two and won both of them by a landslide
>Quiet, Im a planner
>Figure out a trade to get my food back
>700937231 As my Cell mate, I'm normally a lot more relaxed around girls tbh, I've also found like me they like to think and plan things instead of going head long into it, Also having a female on the team will give me an edge with the males ( assuming this is some kind of Unisex prison ) I'm a sweet talker and shes got a pair of tits, that's both genders under out control.
>>700939143
Dude. I know that. At least I am honest about myself unlike the majority of the dickheads in this thread.
>>700939098
Would you gf be willing to answer some questions?
>how does that whole alpha/beta, dom/sub thing work in female prison?
>how often do girls their become bisexual/lesbians?
>is there rape?
your gf also made a comment calling the other girl in the thread her "personal fuck bunny" which is a bit more playful sounding than what you would expect a male prisoner to call his male bitch. so my question is
>do girls dominate differently in female prison? is it more loving? or just as harsh as it is in male prison?
>was your gf ever owned by someone? or onwed a fuck bunny while she was in prison?
>>700939315
>I'm shit at combat but good at explosives, weapon crafting, etc
>>700939388
For the cell mate, i lurk too much tbh
>>700937231
>>700939388
Wait, fuck the other guy. If they ever mix genders, can we be cell mates? I'm a fellow Brit.
Pretty much the only girl in the thread.
>>700939437
Why do you hate me mang
>Height
6'2
>Weight
80kg
>Body Type
Slim but muscular
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
White ofc wtf
>Ever been in a fight?
Yes won the last one and have been bashed plenty of time, I love confrontation
>Personality Type
Extroverted introvert
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Punch him in the head and make a massive scene if you let take that everyone knows your a bitch
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
me
>>700939399
Yeah you're right so I'll give you a helpful tip. If you ever do find yourself in a female prison, never touch a doorknob barehanded.
ITT: A bunch on insecure manlets lying about their height, weight and fighting ability. You are all faggots lurking /b/ on 4chan, the autist site of the Internet; there is no way you cunts are as tough as you all like to pretend you are.
>>700936882
5'9
154lb
Fairly muscular
Male
White
Nope
I make a joke of everything but I know in prison to keep my mouth shut
I would most likely just ignore and act as if it didnt happen but if it happened a second time Id make sure it didnt happen a third
Army guy your my celly.......
>>700935023
>mostly fat but muscular around arms, upper body and calves
>220
>5'8
no you're just a fat cunt, piss off
for handling someone stealing your shit nobody has mentioned the method i used to deal with it..
i paid somebody else to beat his ass as retiliation.
one person did interpret this as weakness, but when he got in my face i stood my ground and told him "fuck off", he backed down and there were no more problems or stealing my stuff.
>5'7"
>103lbs
>slim and girly
>male
>English
>no
>shy and quiet
>literally nothing
I'm prison bitch tier so I'd rather be alone
>>700939505
Perhaps but you'd have to abide by my rules, I've no doubt that i could take over a prison, but it would take time, and be dangerous.
There's a certain way of starting at the bottom and making sure people think you're no threat, then work your way up to the top.
>>700939583
/thread
>>700939629
you can be my prison bitch any day :)
>>700939629
Post boipucci pics
>>700931861
>182cm
>75kg
>skinnyfat
>M
>Human (i.e. white)
>3 or 4 times...nothing serious
>Calm and discreet
>i ask him calmly to give my food back and prepare for some inevitable fight
>>700934765 i choose you !
>>700939642
Just don't rape me and leave me to read my books. :)
6ft 2 white weightlifter and knock the bag around a bit. 120kg. 19% bodyfat Had a fe fights been arrested for a couple of them. Never had the shit beaten out of me yet. I think I'd be okay. I'd punch him straight away, will think twice before doing it again.
>>700939680
You sound like you'd be gentle at least
>>700939723
This is not the thread for that, silly
>>700931861
6'6"
235lbs
Male
White
Yes. MMA and kickboxing for about 13 years, on and off.
Non-confrontational, non-serious.
Start laughing at him, tell him he could just ask and I'd have shared
>>700931861 sounds like a fun guy.
>Height
6'2 / 189
>Weight
165lbs
>Body Type
Average
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
Turk
>Ever been in a fight?
Lots of times.
>Personality Type
idk
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
stab him with a shiv
>>700937231
girls usually doesn't eat that much. maybe she'll share her food with me.
5'8
130lbs
Thin, not built besides hips and down
F
German, Mexican, Italian, Irish
Yes
Wise ass
I wouldn't be in a prison with dudes
>>700935606
You be my cellmate
>>700939629
there was a guy like you in jail with me for while. he was also flaming gay. he was very popular and got tons of commissary for his services. which were actually cheap, he'd suck dick for like 2-3 ramens.
liked to watch people poop.
>5'10
>152 pounds last I checked
>Slender
>Male
>White
>Easy going, fun
>I wouldn't do anything I'd just let him take it, probably try to walk away and sit somewhere else
And I wouldn't pick anyone in this thread after reading it.
But I will be honest I am a bi and would be willing for sex as long as it was consensual and they were clean and it was protected
>>700931861
Insert sharpened toothbrush or pencil into eye socket instantly. Pull it out and then insert cock into stab wound.
>>700939868
Forgot to state build. Sub-9% bodyfat currently. Closer to 5 when I am prepping for an audition or shoot. Which isn't often lately.
>>700939879
protected? it's prison there's no condoms dumbfuck
>>700939756
I'm no rapist, but you'd be my poster girl, people would join me just for a chance to talk to you.
Of course i don't expect you to give them anything, yet it would be a good assent none the less, until i could use my family's money to bust us out of there, we could use the stupid chimps as our own personal Right with Death squad.
>>700939583
Pretty much this
>99% would start a fight straight away
>they've now publicly humiliated an inmate who isn't afraid to start shit
>somehow they think this isn't going to end up with them getting beat up by multiple people in the showers
>>700939878
>liked to watch people poop
wat
Also, what would someone like that do to end up in prison? I doubt anything violent.
>>700931861
>5'10
>180Ibs
>built
>male
>white
>plenty
>chilled but confrontational
>try wreck him
>>700934765
>>700939994
Well like I would know that now would I?
>>700939994
I dunno what shit country you're from, but they are available in most first world prisons.
> be 1'73m
> be 70 kilos
> athletic
> male
> white
> I've been in fights with mostly 50-50 chances of winning/losing. I also did boxing and some martial arts but nothing serious(it was fun/hobby)
> somewhere around in the middle,im not a show off nor a pussy
> decisions like that come on the moment man, probably wouldn't pick a fight or even if i did and lose, revenge is planned anyway
> about my fellow mate...idk, any volunteers?
>>700940025
yeah his first roommate was straight and kinda tolerated the guy, but then one day caused a scene screaming to the guards that they better get that faggot out of his cell right now because he asked if he could watch him poop
was in for drug charges
>>700940089
Not in the US of A. Federal law says inmates cannot consent to sex. So they can't supply condoms or they would be condoning rape.
The only time a con can consent to sex is during a conjugal with their legally married spouse. Outside of that, any sexual contact is rape automatically.
>>700939872
I'd just give you most of my food. Just don't rape or stab me.
Thanks!
>>700931861
196
120kg
Muscular
Male
Chechen
Lots
Extroverted
I'll Beat him with my Tablet and grab his neck to Smash his head onto the table
Gonna take >>700931861
>Height
6'1
>Weight
167
>Body Type
Average
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
Black
>Ever been in a fight?
several
>Personality Type
I'd be cool until someone provoked me
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
If he's got a crew, nothing. if he don't ill kick his ass
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
>>700935606 I want this trap bitch
>>700939315
>>700940110
I know my report list sounds cringy, but you gotta have a guy who makes shit
>Height
6'0
>Weight
130lbs
>Body Type
10% bf, what muscle I do have shows through
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
British
>Ever been in a fight?
2, neither guys landed a punch, I'm not some pro ufc fighter, just chimpmode engage
>Personality Type
Generally laid back as fuck unless someone chats shit to my family
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Some fights just aren't worth picking sometimes, if it happened again then I'd be forced to intervene
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
If this kid ain't lying then this could be solid >>700935809
>>700939315
>good at explosives, weapon crafting, etc
Christ do you have any idea how much of an autist you are?
Id shank him with a chicken bone
>>700940208
It's also against the rules in my country, but they provide condoms to help prevent the spread of STDs when people get released.
>>700940357
I know exactly how autistic I sound
At least I don't pretend to be some kind of elite ripped fighter
>>700940374
Then you will go to segregation and take your secret tunnel out of the prison to exact revenge on the justice system and the people who killed your family.
>>700935819
Ok monkey d luffy
>>700940000
Well, it's still better than getting raped or stabbed.
>>700938211
Experienced in BJs? You'll get some old bears to protect you princess
>>700940501
>At least I don't pretend to be some kind of elite ripped fighter
>he pretends to be a weaponsmith from his animes
>>700940743
I don't even like anime. It's just something I know how to do.
>>700931861
>6'7
>246lbs
>muscular
>guy
>black
>when I was younger
>I'm a quiet loner
>I have a lot of a repressed anger from work I'm dying to let out. I'll literally kill this motherfucker.
>>700935156
This guy seems alright
Tbh I didn't feel like scrolling down anymore
>>700934765
>life in prison for murder
I fight like shit but I do know one valuable tool from farming and grandparents. How to ferment shit. May be my saving grace.
>>700940233
I wouldn't do any of them. But I like talking a lot. I can bore you to death.
>Height
5'9
>Weight
184
>Body Type
Built somewhat due to 8 years of mma.
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
White
>Ever been in a fight?
Several hundred
>Personality Type
Outgoing, mouthy
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Bide my time, long runs the fox and all that shit. Make a shiv. Stab the cunt in the throat.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
I'll decide in time.
>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
T-thanks
>>700931861
>177cm
>90kg
>no big muscle but strong(working on Building sites)
>Male
>arian german master race
>I am intelligent, so no
>introverted and an extroverted side
>i will tell him "HALT STOP AUSWEIß BITTE"
>>700936948
Hallo mein slawischer freund
>>700931861
5'6"
124lbs
Skinny af
Male
Hispanic
Yes, many
Timid, modest
I'll take my tray and beat him to death with it
Makes me laugh at u faggots acting tough. Im in prison computer lab now. Most of the ones acting tough are first ones to beg to suck my dick in exchange for protection.
>>700940259
Eh why not, you dont seem an asshole and I'd like an intellectual to talk to
>>700931861
>170cm
>60kg
>skinny
>caucasian
>no fight
>intj, borderline psychopath
>give away lunch
>no cellmate
people who end up in prison are mostly stupid and easy to manipulate, it would take me couple of days to figure out pattern and whole system, after that depending on how paranoid is the big boss it would take few weeks to fuck shit up and get on top. if something goe wrong at begining (someone tries to make me his bitch) i play along and go on killing spree at best moment, if people dont think im too much trouble to deal with after that, im killing people untill they walk away like frominfectious corpse
>>700941226
Where you in beta?
>>700941226
Where?
>>700941226
Your life might suck, but your mother's basement isn't prison you fucking faggot.
>>700931861
6,2
150 pounds
Semi muscly
male
white and Cuban
Not really
Pretty calm
Tell guards and get dat nig in trouble
>>700935606
Won't try to kill me
>>700941419
Louisiana State Penitentiary
>>700941758
Cool.
What's happening from HMP Edinburgh (Saughton)
6'2" 250lb white male, purple belt BJJ - Food response: Bite a chunk out of the guy from dominant position.
>Ignore shill threads.
>Hide shill threads.
>Don't respond to shill threads.
Also datamining you morons.
>>700931861
> 175
> 110kg - Fat, but solidly built.
> Male
> White
> Yes, grew up in a violet part of a violent city
> Friendly overall, limited bullshit tolerance
> Laugh at him for being such a trope, mock him openly
I'd rather not share a cell and be confined to solitary, but I can get on with most people, so anyone really. I can handle myself and make friends pretty easily.
>>700940196
Kek
>>700933164
What the fuck is that shit? Use American units asshole.
>>700941146
With my fellow german mate founding aryian brotherhood.
>>190cm
>>84kg
>>fit
>>m
>>Deutsche Herrenrasse
>>yes until 10th grade, sometimes
>>calm, friendly but piss me off and i go bananas
>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
would use the tablet and smash on his head until this untermensch is ko.
>>700931861
5'9"
214lbs
Heavy build (not fat)
Male
Hispanic
Been in several fights, 70% win.
Aggressive/sociopath (if I'm honest)
>Stab that fucker in the eye with my fork and keep stabbing till I'm stopped. Go for any soft spot, eyes, ears, nose. .
>>700935023
I will whip any Philipino ass anywhere, anytime. Any Asian for that matter.
>>700935156
Indians are always fucked in prison. You would get fucked too. Indians know nothing about American culture. Maybe that can drink some firewater, but that's it.
>>700931861
>5'7"
>165lbs
>Hockey player strong, but chubby (18%bf)
>M
>Whiteasfuck (Irish descent)
>Lots, little man syndrom had me throwing fists early
>Normal, I don't know how else to answer this
>Read situation, avoid confrontation if possible. If AT ALL impossible, throw punches and headbutts until someone stops me
>>700937264
This crazy asshole
>>700931861
5'10
425
Muscle and fat, i work in construction
Male
White
Yes
Reserved
Punch him in the face
Solitary doesnt have cellmates
>>700943325
>5'10
>425
Literally morbidly obese. You wouldn't even be able to get off your fat ass let alone muster enough power to throw a pinch without passing out.
>>700931861
>150cm
>90kg
>kind of fat
>trans
>asian
>only with my 23 brothers and sisters
>severe autism
>I try to suck his dick
>whoever wants me
>>700943606
Sadly this guy is right. Not saying the 400lb isn't strong, but at those proportions you are really limiting yourself.
>>700931861
>185cm
>65~kg
>Thin as fuck, some muscles, have a strange condition.
>Male
>White
>Never been into a fight, no idea how to defend myself.
>Introverted, but if directly talked to really charismatic. Could always talk my way around, also lots of empathy for everyone, talked to a Skinhead who threatened me once till he calmed down and we had a beer together, now a homie of me.
>probably getting cucked, if i fail my "speech check" there's not much i can do to defend myself.
I would end up as a prison bitch getting my asshole ravaged by any other inmate one hour after i get into my cell.
>160cm/5'4"
>80kg/176lb
>Mesomorph, Fit
>Male
>Australian
>Many, though I don't really seek them out. Rather avoid them where possible.
>INFJ
>It's only food - get up and ask for more porridge... Prisons here aren't shit cunts about giving the blokes inside more grub.
Cell mate: >>700939385
>>700931861
>5'7
>10 stoneish
>just average, yo.
>Female
>White
>A few, but no proper fights.
>Generally passive.
>Fuck all, it's a big ass guy in the wrong cell block, he's gonna get raped by the guards at some point anyway, no point in starting shit i'll die for.
>literally fucking anyone, i'm not one to pick anyone based on shit like this.
INB4 "Tits or GTFO", you can have some random tits, not my own.
>>700939245
>but everyone left me alone when they figured out i could draw
Why is this? As a fellow drawfag I'm extremely curious. Do inmates have a soft spot if you can draw their families or something?
>>700931861
>5'11''
>165LBS
>Fairly average
>Male
>White/Cherokee
>Yes
>I keep to myself most times. But I like to plan revenge, think total edge lord style xD
I pick >>700935606 as cell mate. ;)
>>700944304
Anus or leave
>>700931861
Height
6'2
>Weight
231
>Body Type
Not shredded at all, but a stout muscular body. Think corn fed farm boy that works with heavy shit often back in the day, I work with people now as a C/O
>Gender
Male
>Ethnicity
Black
>Ever been in a fight?
Yeah, alot growing up as a nerd in the projects and having to learn to fight back, and now as a C/O (not fight exactly, more like control physically to de-escalate, plus a boxing hobbyist, not the best at all though, shit footwork sometimes
>Personality Type
I'm pretty quiet, I don't bother people, but I'm civil, I have a bad temper but I manage it well, I'd rather talk it out before it comes to blows, just because I worry how far I could go when I do go beyond my limit. I'm just mostly chill though, I'll walk away before I have to do something terrible, because if I don't, it'll be bad. I also don't look for fights, but I will fight no problem if I cant reason with you, I'm no tough guy, but I wont be messed with either, basically nobody puts their hands on me, period.
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
I tell him there was no point in that, Im here minding my business, and you should do the same, hopefully you will, but if not, we can get into it right quick. Since he's trying to show out, he's easy to watch, and I'll let him decide what happens to him.
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
I guess anybody chill.
>>700944345
pliable skill. i got hit with commissions left and right; my cellie found out when he saw me doodling and asked for some pinup. obliged on a whim, word got around and i was in business.
basically, they supplied the shit, i drew up whatever they asked; envelopes, cards, etc. had to get creative because they only had that rosa 8 color pencil set plus ballpoint black and blue for ink but i did pretty well.
Lots of winnie the pooh and disney shit for their fams, pimups and other random shit they asked for. charged generally for coffee or ramen.
>>700944345
and honestly, i thought itd wear on me but i was strict and adhered to a time table; only drew about 8-10 hours a day, managed to bang out everyone who asked and even had a cut off for last submissions before i left. decorated envelopes were the most popular; ranged from quotes in old english with skulls and whatever to some video game shit, even old school sailor jerry lookin nonsense. swallows were popular too.
heed this though; do NOT tattoo.county where i was in wasn't a big deal but i heard stories about dudes in bigger houses getting fucked up because they were their set's designated inker. idk how true that is but i never stuck around to find out.
>>700945186
>>700945539
So you basically lived out Shawshank Redemption minus the whole sneaking out? That's pretty sweet anon. The world is a brighter place in my eyes with your story!
>>700945941
brighter place as in, if I end up in jail, I know I have something to fall back on
>185 cm
>92 kg
>muscular but not ripped
>male
>white, slavic
>haven't been in a street fight for a couple of years but train and compete in muay thai
>INFJ
>fight
>>700931861
>Height: 196 cm
>Weight: 100 kg +/-
>Body Type: pretty muscular but havent been lifting in a while
>Gender: male
>Ethnicity: caucasian (swedish )
>Ever been in a fight?: a few times
>Personality: pretty calm
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do? Tell him to fuck off
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate: anyone except niggers/faggots
>>700935606 my cellmate
-Height: 169cm
-Weight: 75kg
-Gender: M
-Non muscular, non-athletic, but I am somewhat smart(I think).
-Ethnicity: Egyptian
-Been in a fight in 4th grade and the girl kicked my ass (but she was bigger and older than me)
-Personality: Nice
-If a huge guy comes to take my food i would probably know about it and would have spit(or worse) in the meal already (or worse).
>>700931861
I'm rather small but I'd rather get my ass beat then be labled a bitch. I'd go batshit and try to bite his nose off. If that wasn't an option just go in swinging with everything I got. It's do or die bro
Fuck it
>>700931861
>How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?
i'm not i live in a country were prison are safe. Enjoy your freedom americuck
>>700938471
This. This shit is worse that IQ threads
>>700944304
Want to be my girlfriend?
>>700941226
So you wouldn't stand up for yourself?
