ok /b/tards, what's your secret?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ok /b/tards, what's your secret?
No we don't ... Shut up you can't prove anything
>>700868955
I'm gonna fuck a friend's mom.
Nice try FBI
I'm a loser. oh wait everyone already knows that.
>>700868955
>>700868955
fucking stop these shit threads already.
>>700870910
lern2filter dipfuck
>>700868955
I'm being trolled by faggots who can't see how much more pathetic it is that they're speculating on my shit existence as opposed to just living my shit existence.
>>700870910
no.
>>700870910
/thread
>>700868955
I am a kind, intelligent, and fairly handsome man. I am charming, caring, and funny to women so they fall in love with me as I hint that I may be having feelings for them, too. When they are in love, I slowly just lose interest in them until they apologize to me for not being enough. One day, I will have done this enough to stop feeling the pain caused by that heartless bitch in Kentucky.
I want to be a chick, but my extreme Right Wing attitude prevents me from ever having a sex change and becoming a monster.
>>700868955
I'm a pedophile.
I'm an alcoholic at a pretty young age.
I drink my own blood because I like the metallic taste.
I get off to pictures of dead chicks with things shoved up their asses.
I have at least two diagnosed mental illnesses.
I have no friends.
I dislike Mexicans intensely.
I hate my close family members because they won't stop asking me for money.
If my close family members die I'll probably kill myself.
I've been on this stupid website for almost a decade now.
I kind of want to die.
Anything else you want to know?
I steal from charities on a regular basis.
>>700871598
Do you want friends? Who was your last friend? What happened to them?
>>700871598
Dad?
I enjoy tripping on benadryl
>>700872061
I had sex with her. She was the one who brought it up. Kind of ruined things. She was bipolar so maybe she wasn't the best friend. But yeah. I want friends, but I also love being alone.
>I once fapped to cp but i deeply regret it wtf was wrong with me?
>I like incest roleplaying pov porn.
>>700872186
Not unless you're 5
>>700868955
I actually have depression amd a desire to end myself, but friends are faggot 9gaggers who think suicide amd depression is a meme so I cant talk to anyone about my illness
Ok /b/ , im too poor to buy overwatch, how could i trick/ scare someone into buying it for me?
>>700873208
Trick a Burger King manager to accidentally employ you
I almost killed my best friend, then help his wife give birth to twins, and gave them up in adoption.
Once they have grown up, I went to mentor his son, I trained him, I let him fall in love with his sister, but never told him she was his sister.
>>700868955
I rented out my basement to my wife's ex-bf after he got divorced and kicked out of the house. Now he's paying us extra money to sleep with my wife.
I like to pretend I have secrets but I don't
>>700874135
kill yourself
seriously what's with the fucking cuckism going on right now, someone fucking your woman and you letting it happen/encouragin it is the most pathetic state of a man i can imagine
I like to voyeur my wife and share her naked pics with other guys on kik while they talk nasty about her and tell me they are jacking off to her.
I'm married, had an affair with a coworker, she fell in love with me, I treated her like shit because I still love my wife, I moved away for another job and now I'm fucking heart-broken and I want to leave my wife for the other woman...but she doesn't love me anymore. fuck
>>700873978
Gold
>>700873978
Well, to be fair, he didn't FALL IN LOVE with his sister..
>>700875492
Well, that's what you get for being a cunt
>>700874135
details?
>>700872581
I would wager 50% of people on /b/ over the age of 25 have fapped to CP. Honestly in the old internet days, you had to fap to CP. Kazaa and Limewire were built on CP.
>>700876004
*sigh* yeah, I know
>>700873208
It would make you a piece of shit, but if you create a female facebook and message 20 guys asking for nude pics, you could make some of them buy you stuff in exchange for not sharing the pics with their family.
Dont do that man.
I once fucked this guy on his daughter's bed while I pulled a pair of her dirty panties over his head and then came on them
His wife was watching it all
>My brother and cousin fucked me when I was very young
>Grow up thinking that maybe I'm gay(but I'm attracted to women's, I'm not Virgin and I liked it having sex with a women)
>I got mental issues atm
>My mind us full of shit right now and I'm depressed
>I'm quite handsome but I got a lot of weight lately and that fucks me more
>I'm afraid of talking to girls I don't know
>Been here since 2004, Im 23 now, I feel like a loser
>My birthday is this Friday and I don't want it to be
>Sometimes I want to kill some people :(
Well I think that's everything.
I jerked off in the drive through of a Jack in the Box once.
>mfw I came in between ordering and getting to the window
>>700877468
Not really a problem if you brother and cousin fucked you. Its just kid stuff. Doesnt mean anything. You are straight and you like women. If you think men are hot it doesnt mean you are gay.
>>700878027
Thank you Anon, I really needed to hear(read) this, I never shared with anybody this.
I am completely disinterested in sex. I think it's making my husband upset. I'm depressed. People in general also bore me. I try to look like an extrovert though because it's kinda my job to charm people. some days I want to kill myself. But everyone thinks I'm so happy and fun. Well i'm not.
My oneitis is a Muslim.
She was however Bosnian, so as much a Muslim as Europe is Christian.
>Me and my sister are fuck buddies and has been for last 10 years.
I'm white and head of programming at a small company. I'm deeply involved in indian spritutality since I was taught to meditate at age 10. Can't find women around here who are into the same things as me so an Indian friend's family is offering to take me to india to look at potential brides (arranged marriage) and I have a great amount of shame about not being able to find someone like me on my own and instead potentially marrying someone from my own culture the normal way.
>>700879430
I screwed up the ending, I meant to say shame about marrying someone from a different culture because I'm too different and weird to find someone from my own.
>>700872186
kek
>>700868955
I faked a suicide attempt to get out of doing an English paper
>>700880076
Not that bad. You were desperate.
I killed dozens of people but at least now I am the Democratic presidential nominee
I've seen too much MLP porn. Now when the show is on, it seems wrong that you can't see their genitals.
>>700868955
married(past tense) woman blew me and let me cum on her because hubby didn't have sex with her for a month.
He is a super gamer fag.
Doesn't know to my knowledge
happened a few years ago
Looks they recently went splitsville.
He should have seen it cumming!
>>700868955
I hate people, and i am really only calm and at peace when i am by myself.
I could destroy my ict teachers career, will to live and life.
If u guys care I'll tell story.
bump
When I was about 17, I met a girl online. About 13 yo. This was the early days of cell phones. I eventually call her using *67 in case her parents checked her phone, and we'd talk.
I ended up making her do all manner of degrading sexual things, masterbating in public, taking pictures, inserting things, choking herself on a hairbrush handle, you name it. All for my enjoyment.
She confessed to being "in love" with me, and I told her I felt the same way. This continued for over 6 months . She never even learned my cellphone number. One day she realizes the pictures I sent of myself were fake. I had claimed to be 13 as well. But she said she didn't care, that our love was too important.
A month or so later I got bored and never called her again. Didn't say anything, just didn't call her one day, and then never again. I probably made her feel really really shit, and what I did was probably illegal.
Nobody knows, I never told anybody about her IRL.
>>700871598
You're Trump right
>>700878605
>husband
Are you seriously a wife, on /b/?
>backwards
>>700868955
i really like furry porn and have a slight minor femdom liking.
I don't look both sides ever.
Well. Since we're all anons here.
Caused indirectly suicide of some guy who fell in love with me. Well actually no, rather that we did have a relationship. Treated him like shit. I guess in love people do some brave shit.
As well, made and sold quite a lot of explosives substances as some kind of a lucrative hobby. Chem drugs, as well, but yeah, whatever. Found out some day what they were used for.
I guess there is some time in your life when the events can make you change. Deeply.
I don't do the green text thing.
So one day I had a lunch detention which I forgot my whore of a math teacher dissmised. So me, of course I fucking forgot about it until like ten minutes into lunch talking too my bro. So I fucking ran from the shops outside my high.school like four hundred meters into the ICT room(where we serve detentions) I opened to door and ran too my ICT teacher on laptop.
Get dis doe, he had nudes of a yr nine(fourteen yr old)nude on the screen.
Now /b/ros I know I should tell the deen and head teacher even police but
1 I hate the girl she's a bitch
2 I only saw the screen for like two secs so it could be someone else.
Bros what should I do it definetly was cp and he wasn't expecting anyone. And my major amigo didn't even know. Any advice?? I'm worried AF.
had sex with my ex bf's german shepard
>>700884442
Kys
Sincerely
Ex boyfriends dog
>>700884151
grn txt is gay anyway
>>700884151
dude report that shit. He is around underage girls constantly and hes into that type of shit. Does not sound like a good combo.
>>700881524
please do
>>700882457
Michel, I am part of a group known as anonymous. I am tracking your IP address and sending a message too your whole family about what you did.
Lol jk go jerk of to loli you sick fuck
Degenerate
>>700882457
was her name amber?
A married long distance co-worker developed a huge crush on me. I'm married too.
Meet at conference, fuck.
Go through intense falling in then out of obsession with each other. Shes the one who is pulling back.
Meet 3 more times and fuck during two of those conferences.
Last conference we get into a fight. As I'm at the airport to fly home, she texts that she regrets not fucking me.
Is pissed at me for a month or two. Randomly texts me about a month ago that she misses me. A few weeks later at 2am she texts asking if I am up.
Not sure how to play it, since then our texting has been professional, but I still want to fuck her. I dominated her during sex and was always aggressive in bed with her.
=) old school yahoo mafukz
>>700883524
>>700885462
Lmao scored
Dating my friend's older sister and he doesn't know about it.
She's not very hot and is trashy but a good fuck. She has a kid too and is a shit mom. Fun dom/ sub stuff though
>>700877468
Was your cousin a chick or dude?
>>700885031
Man I know its the right thing to do but it will ruin his LIFE and if I was just some risky porn and it was just question able age shit then I would be fucking his life up for nothing
If he was looking at that sick/vile loli shit I would report him in minutes btw
Foot fetish
I was raped on my first day in jail
This isn't really a secret but more of a confession, I sometimes steal memes off Instagram... Forgive me lord for I have sinned
>>700870820
its ok anon
>>700886459
Full story??
Always wanted to know how that shit happens
my first time having sex was a foursome with 1 guy and 2 girls, I'm a guy. also a year later the girl i lost my virginity died by getting hit with a car. It's darkest secret we still have with the other guy and girl.
>>700882639
Holy fuck how do u know?
>>700887114
Pull those pants back up you spongy cunt i'm callin Hillary right now
>>700886676
I was nervous and scared so I'm guessing I gave up that easy prey vibe. I was in my cell just keeping to myself trying to stay out of trouble. These two big white guys approached me and we're being friendly. They were saying how they got my back since I'm white too and it aint so bad in here. I let my guard down and then one punched me, shit got me all disoriented. Next thing I knew it, they muffled me and threw me on my bed and well did their thing.
>>700887114
Got triggered at "i hate mexicans"
Im a semi attractive 7/10 ish male who is funny and has no muscles but also no fat. Ive had 23 separate relationships in my life time but i gave not had sex. My first kiss was in kindergarten. So pretty fuckin alpha but not too much
I have a foot fetish and have never had a relationship over 1 1/2 year because of it. One gf let me sniff n' lick her feet. Ill never forget the smell of Elizabeth's feet. Anyway thats just me. My big secret is that reply or your mother dies in her sleep tonight
>>700872383
how much would you recommend i just took 250mg
>>700886319
>IT dude
>works at school
he probs has fucking hard drives of the shit. Is what you saw on a browser? Like I get where your coming from but if he was distributing the shit then you would be helping more people than you would be hurting. Plus doing that shit on school grounds? not a very smart move he probably is a shit head anyways.
>>700887289
My sides fukin hurt man.lmfao
>>700883524
So
Basically anon's a fag
A drug dealer
Smh a terrorist
Nobody gives a shit better talk about fukin cousins
>>700887738
Anytime m8
>>700881143
We all do. Why do you think were on /b/
>>700887607
what do u want? sleep, fap,talk to dead people, talk to god?
>>700883524
Catlyin?
>>700887324
Wtf no shiv, no soap.
Man if this isn't troll then its nothing to be ashamed of. One day when there in there eighties and shit poor they will remember they raped someone and have to sleep with that until they die
>>700888176
Lmfao man i'm a guy (related anon here)
>>700880202
Small dizzle post
>>700886377
Aaaaayyyyy chem em boyos. This is the only time ill get dubs
>>700888027
god
>>700888199
If they're bigger than you, most guys don't need weapons or the shower. I heard it at night too, you could hear other poor bastards getting raped and the guards didn't do shit. I deserved it and ever since my stint in jail I been a changed man. I was in because I got hammered and molested my daughter. No excuse for that and it's good I went to jail. It was eye opening and ever since then I been sober 7 years and slowly rebuilding my life
>>700888556
K. Reminded me of someone i know
>>700887663
He always has a 16 GB pendrive on him never hardrive but too me it looked like fb
I thought he was messaging her but he has no social media accounts the guy is legit a ghost
>>700888849
Damn, then seems like i'm not the only young asshole on earth.
What a bloody world
I wear a suit and am as dapper as fuk. I'm an alcoholic jobless cunt living off my partners money. And I have zero shame about it... as long as I'm drunk.
>>700868955
I like dubs
Nice dubs
I password phished my ex after we broke up, then learned her new boyfriends account details, accessed his account and found a fuck load of old and new nudes of her
>>700889100
Related anon?
I haven't washed my jeans this year
>>700889334
Off by one
>>700888785
Molesting your daughter storypls
Man I could be a shrink.
I wear the same pair of boxers for a month at a time
I really want cheesecake right now.
I faked graduating from college and over ten years ago and at this point I don't think anybody will ever really care.
>>700881524
Tell us
Why do these shit threads get so much attention?
I am tired of seeing the same trap having painted over the book every time I refresh.
half these secrets are bullshit, not interesting or just stupid
I am gonna reveal a secret you guys don't know about yourselves; you're fucking retarded
>>700889334
Nah. Still me, original post. Just mumbling.
Like, y'know. I'm like, what, 20yo. Never speak about this kind of shit, but whatever. I'm drunk, and it's 5AM here. Why not.
I've been hiding these dubs
It rymths With pie pid tine pelleven
Hint im a jew
>>700889741
that's a strongass duck
>>700889741
Leave thread homie.
>>700871788
Donald Trump?
>>700889439
Not much to it. I came home shot faced and horny. Looked for my girlfriend and couldn't find her. Daughter came out her room because I was being loud. Told her to go back to bed cuz daddy was drunk. I was tucking her in and sort of just started to feel her up. Had my hands over and next thing know it my girlfriend, or ex girlfriend I should say, is hitting me and yelling at me saying what the fuck am I doing. Cops are called and yeah jail for me
>>700889737
Its the huge text if u scroll up u will find it chuz
>>700868955
Sucked 2 dicks
Messed up relationships with 2 dimes
Hot girl had feelings and I nailed and bailed
>been there
>done that
>desperately need a reincarnation
>>700890126
> getting life together
on /b/
>>700868955
If I didn't have a daughter I'd probably give up on most things in life, including life itself. I'm happy because of that, but also know I have no way out now - bur I can't be that selfish. I have to be happy and live happy for her.
>>700873208
say you're pregnant
I'm addicted to drugs, but I like it, so I wont stop, except that they're stopping to make effect.
I sell drugs, where I make most of my money.
My moral levels are decaying, I'm also starting to steal from markets. Which is actually really cool, for some reason.
I'm a tall, good looking (for my country, at least), smart guy who studies chemistry on the best college in latin america, and I do all of this because I'm bored and it's way better than depression.
>>700890478
At least I got a computer and a pad. That's a start, right?
>>700890126
Step one
Learn Spanish
Step two
Go to Chile
Step 3
Start new life
Or kys
>>700878605
lowered sex drive is a symptom of depression, dude. you okay?
I don't feel emotions like "normal people" do, instead it's just a feeling of neutrality. No major things with me... =/
>>700890646
not the point /b/ro
and you could be at a library for all we know.
I hate you sometimes, for ruining my image of the person I thought you were when we first got together.
You'll never be a writer. You can't even use "theyre, there, their" or "then/than" properly. You will never have the discipline it takes to turn off the video game and get some fucking work done for once.
Also I fake the majority of my orgasms because I just want the whole thing to be over and done with. You're going to cum within 30 seconds anyway, whats the point of actually trying to get into it? All that gets me is standing in the bathroom after you fall asleep, jerking it to memories of fucking my ex.
thanks for the eating disorder though. i thought losing weight would make you want to fuck me again but clearly thats not happening any time soon is it?
>$17K in disability spent on rent and bills just so you could stay at home and play video games while refusing to write a single fucking word whatsoever
>thanks for wasting that particular windfall
>ill never see that much money in my account ever again
>so glad I wasted it on your failed dreams instead of getting a new car or a FUCKING EDUCATION
>>700878605
One word
LSD buy a tag for like 40 bucks rent a room in a hotel put tag in your mouth and trip out for 6 hours.
Trust me I feel so gud after a tag
>>700890478
What's your excuse?
>>700868955
I'm a straight 22yo kissless virgin and I have no desire for that to change.
>>700878605
>disinterested in sex because you're depressed
>people bore you because youre lying to them about who you are
>you try to seem like something you're not and you're surprised when it depresses you so much that you want to kill yourself
>everyone thinks you're happy and fun because you're lying to them so that they'll think you're happy and fun
tl;dr stop doing what you're doing. its not working.
>>700888716
This
>>700891401
Sounds like you need to tell him what you think. Posting it on /b/ won't make your situation better.
>>700870568
dat lithuanian puss
>>700891401
Show tits baby
>>700893436
lithuania is just a russian mouthpiece shithole.
>am lithuanian
>were a bunch of pussies just like we've always been
>nazis, commies, it's all the same.
>>700871319
You too?
I was the one who fecal-ly destroyed the only shitbox at the Heinnies men's room. Shit literally cascaded out the bowl and even managed to hit the wall of the stall. I ran from the collective butt-batter and tossed my then Shit covered boxers from the aftermath in the papertowel trashcan The poor bastard who had to spray that mess down deserves a medal.
>>700885539
Hopefully she'll be having lunch with your wife on the day you get served with divorce papers. Then hopefully your life is as fucked as you are.
I ate a rock once
>work at pizza hut as a driver
>keep 2 lists
>list a has all the best tippers around
>make sure to bust my ass and get it there asap
>on list B I keep all the fucking selfish fucks that are too greedy to top
>I take as long as possible for them and make sure to give lots of extra topping for them on the way over
>boogers,ball sweat, spit, little drops of piss. Once I even jacked off underneath a loose pepporoni
>mfw I am justice
>>700876324
Aaah, no we aren't.
I'm bipolar and schizotypal. Its interesting meeting people on here who are schizophrenic. The severity of their condition makes schizotypal look like an absolute joke in comparison.
>>700868955
>bf breaks up w me for fourth time
>we go to trump rally together as friends
>cuddle whole time
>I blow him while he drives us home
>we hook up a few times
>I hook up with somebody else
>suddenly it's all wrong and not working out for him
>he breaks off the hooking up thing we had
>gave him head recently
>afterwards he said this doesn't change things
>faggot wouldn't even kiss me goodnight
>now I'm left with a broken heart and I'm not sure what to do anymore except suck his dick when he wants me to
>>700868955
Cheated on my wife with the ex that always made her feel threatened.
>>700868955
>>700870568
I fucked my best friends mom and aunt.
>>700895913
Sweet!
>>700868955
My parents and friends don't realize it yet, but I've decided to stop studying Japanese and focus on Mandarin. After I get at least conversational, I intend to re-learn Korean.
Also, I tried to re-enlist in the military this summer (this time, Navy), but it came out that I had been in before and *why* I was separated, so I couldn't reenlist.
>>700868955
>ok /b/tards, what's your secret?
my wifes daughter loves me
I love her like a daughter
like she was eight or something
she's 22
super fucking hot, biut in my heart she's my little girl
the wife's a toal cunt
its like shes trying to break the matrriage
i finished the tequilla and now i have to try t o get to sleep before the drunk wears off
>>700895511
and this is why the best you can do is be a shitty pizza delivery guy...
next stop, panhandling!
I got coerced by a guy to give him a blowjob and ended loving it when he pushed on my head and told me what to do
>>700896000
He knows about his aunt getting dicked down
>>700896000
Nice trips btw
Ive been in a online relationship for a year now. We plan on visiting eachother when we get the money but Im too scared to introduce her to my parents
>>700896253
You feel defensive since you are probably a shit Tipper and are afraid of this happening to you.
>protip:it probably already has
>>700895913
Next step: threesome
I like dogs. A lot.
Ever since I've started to lose weight, I've become extremely self-conscious about it. I only have about 11 lbs left to go to reach my target weight, but it's like EVERYTHING is trying to work against me.
>>700896684
I'm just spelling out your future....
you're defensive.. ghost of future here trying to warn you to let go your petty whiny ways...
it's the same shit job most people start with, and you're being petty about nothing.
I no longer talk to my bestfriend anymore because I fucked his wife while he was in jail (for some bullshit domestic violence charge she called on him).. I literally hate fucked her, because I hate her, but always wanted to fuck her too you know. So I think I fucked her twice, and got a blowjob once.
When he got out she instantly told him what happened, and he called me and I admitted it, and then they both turned on me and tried to work it out together haha... ohwell .He is in jail again now because of her.
Anyhow thats not the secret. The real secret is I fucked his first wife a bunch of times too.
....But, fuck him, after I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years, I logged in her myspace as a joke and saw he started messaging her trying to make something happen behind my back. So I guess fucking his two ex wives (that he had kids with) was my form of revenge? Or maybe I'm just an asshole who has no control over my sexual lusts.
>>700896806
Was working on that. Unfortunately the aunt and I got locked up. Her bond was higher than mine so she's still in the pin
MFW I have to settle for just his mom
>>700868955
I have been texting this guy for almost 2 years, met him on internet and became friends and now we love each other but he is quite insecure and it makes the things slow down. But I met this other guy like 6 months ago, friendzoned him at the beginning but one month ago we started dating, I have some feelings for him but he is truly in love of me, we fucked and stuff but I'm not sure. Any thoughts on what should I do? I feel like crap for doing this to the man I love but internet relationship is not giving me enough
>>700897527
Eh, there's still time, right? She has to get out eventually!
>>700897431
he probably is an abusive ass and deserves prison..
you're not a good friend... but then he wasn't either.. meh.
also? they let you fuck them... so who cares?
>>700871319
Neckbeards basement dweller detected
>>700898375
Your internet relationship isnt gonna go anywhere....
>>700898405
November 22 is the date. That sweet poon shall be mine
I had sex with my niece (18) many, many times last summer. We're in love and no one in our family knows.
>>700898774
Post pics!
>>700898810
your age? pics of her?
>>700873369
Kek
>>700898432
Yeah I'm probably not a good friend, but I felt he really did betray our friendship along time ago... I guess looking back on it, I didnt really consider him a true friend anymore, but I still hung out with him sometimes and stuff simply because of our history together, we would have alot of fun together, same sense of humor, understood each other, etc.
But yeah... Even when we were legit friends I was wanting to fuck his first wife. But I never did. Was a pretty awesome moment when I finally got the chance.
...Fucking that girl you had been thinking about for years, kinda worth it lol.
"If" I ever get any close friends again, I'm gonna make sure they arent shady fucks like him. And also I'm going to try and be a better friend.
Which is hard because I have a bad habit of wanting to fuck every girl :(
Even my brother's wives I fantasize about, I wish I wasnt such a fucking greedy pervert.
>>700898904
I'm 26.
>>700898606
I know but I love him for real, plus he is hotter and our life goals fit better
>>700898904
>>700899524
Another
>>700877514
You could say the jack was out of the box.
>>700898880
Sorry took a moment to shoop. Don't have noods sadly. Aunt on left, mom on right
>>700878605
>I am completely disinterested in sex.
Male here who is exactly the same. Saw a psychologist, who told me my sexual orientation is possibly asexual. The humorous thing is I want to reproduce, I just lack a sexual attraction toward anything.
>>700876324
Ah, good old limewire. Best videos I have ever seen to date.
>>700883063
Staright thuggin' over here. Damn.
>>700878882
Best one yet. Have you got anymore siblings?
>>700885511
Oh shit I'm guessing you're the silly lilly from his story and you finally found him.
>>700886253
Dude
>>700896191
fuck her and pretend she's still 8. It's a win win, really.
I've been visiting my sister-in-law's house two-four times a week for the past two years to strangle or suffocate her.
She gets off on it and it's stress relief for me.
I used to secretly masturbate in class in the 7th grade because I liked the risk of it so much, I did it at least 5 times in my spanish class and would just jizz in my shorts and clean it off later.
In the 10th grade I was sitting out of PE in the coaches office on a spin bike they were making me do for light cardio and i jerked off and finished on the carpet right before the coach came in.
>>700886319
Loli and cp is the same shit you degenerate fucktard. Report him before he does something bad.
My neighbor and I took turns sucking each other's dick. This went on for a long time. I was about 7~9 can't quite remember.
His dad was a lawyer not that is relevant at all. Though my neighbor did dress up in his sister's clothes while we did it.
We asked for our 'private time' so his dad didn't disturb us.. but thinking back.. I wonder if he was video taping or some shit.
I almost received a felony charge for exploiting a company loop hole.
>>700902563
samefag here,
also when I was about 11-12 my friend and I were hanging out at his house and we took turns trying to put our dicks in each others asses but ofc they were too tight. we did this for like 15 minutes
completely serious
don't do any more gay shit but was curious back then
>I had sex for the first time when I was 10 with best friends dad.
>We had sex a few times over a summer.
>They moved back east at the end of the summer when mom got a promotion.
>When i was 12 I would go to the mall to find older men to fuck.
>They would buy me things after.
>When I was 13 I had 7 sugar daddies all older than 30 who would buy me things or give me money after i fucked them.
>mfw i realized i was a prostitute.
>>700868955
I convinced my ex gf into getting fucked by a dog
>>700903038
how did you get away with it?
>>700903418
I the dog is above 50 lbs, taking the knot hurts.
>>700903451
He's self employed.
>>700903512
It was a large bullmastiff, no idea how much he weighed but he was big, in every way
>>700903718
I almost had sex with a bull mastiff once. I would have gotten caught, so I backed off.
>>700903718
did you jerk off or anything while the dog fucked her?
>>700903718
That poor girl. Did she tear?
>>700903947
She sucked me while he was trying to mount her, but mainly I just helped him get in her. She thanked me afterwards
>>700903968
Nope she was fine. A little sore, but she was good considering how slim and tight she is.
I get mistaken as a girl online so often I no longer correct people.
I used to get molested by my uncle with a down syndrome, cousins found out about it and now I despise gatherings because that moment in my childhood makes me so vulnerable and bullied. I usually just pretend I don't remember it, but I do and didn't know any better so now it's the reason I hate children with down syndrome and monkeys
>>700903451
They basically gave me a fair warning, If I chose to use their services any further I could've been facing serious prison time.
Honestly I must say I do respect them for handling it how they did, because they could have easily pressed charges
I video tape myself masturbating so I can masturbate to the video tape later and critique my own work.
I love dressing like a girl and going to clubs. It's exciting to know guys think I'm a girl. It's even more exciting because of the danger. Sometimes boys really like a girl to be packing.
>>700904324
Are you male or female?
>>700873369 twin kek
>>700873978
you're just as much an asshole as obi-wan kenobi in star ward
>>700904844
>explaining the reference
>>700868955
I use my SIL clean panties to jerkoff and put them back for her to wear them cum-soaked. Pic related
I had sex with my sister last week. Still cant believe it happened.
There was this girl I met on psn. I really liked her but I was young. Like 8 or 9 years old actually. We were the same age and my young self was stupid and thought it's be ok to have a crush on somebody I barely knew. After a couple of years of playing the same game together, I told her I loved her. For some reason I just decided to delete that acount and make a new one idk why tbh. Years later I'm 13 and decide to message her which was a really bad idea and I got hints that she still had a crush on me. I moved on because I realised relationships like that never work but she wanted to skype me. She thought I made a new account because I hated her or something. The skype call was awkward. She admitted about how she was abandoned by her biological mother and her dad takes care of her now with her stepmom. All the rest of her siblings live with her actual mom for some reason so she was the only one that was abandoned. Her step mom abuses her and her dad won't believe her when she tells him. She seemed really depressed about it. I knew she wanted me to comfort her and tell her I love her again. But I couldn't. After that I just... Stopped messaging her. It felt so awkward pretending as though everything was normal and ok. And we couldn't play the same game anymore because she still only had a ps3. She stopped texting too. I tried again recently and she replied but then just ignored me after. I feel guilty for not being a better friend but at the same time I didn't want to lead her on.
>>700905872
because it didnt
>>700906175
Kys, threw that opportunity away
>>700906175
Underageb& gtfo
I'm faggot
>>700906551
I'd rather not be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't even live in the same state as me. She had a nice butt though.
>>700904655 male, fortunately I grew up straight, but go to 4chan because of what happened
>>700906960
That's not what your mother said last night.
>>700872581
find any good incest rp pov pron?
>>700895829
how about you stop fucking all over town whore
>>700868955
My secret is that I fucked your mother and I am your real father.
>>700870114
this! collect evidence or fuck off.
>>700896191
Fuck her like a daughter then??
>>700889647
How do you fake something like that?
>>700871570
See you in /pol/
>>700891431
>tag
i bump dying threads
I saw my first love been abused by a man and i let it happen. I neven said anything cause the guy said he would kill her if i open my mouth.
Now everyday i think about finding this guy and killing it. I can't have friend because i feel like i have to suffer for what i did. I want to help of save all the children in the world because i think it's the only way to repay my dept, but nobody knows its because of it, and nobody will ever know i guess
Fucked lil cousin 17 time cuz she wanted me to
>>700914095
Family still don't know
>>700899471
You are a loser. So tight.
>>700904699
Dubs
>>700914466
DUB DUBSS
I'm love sjw
I think BLM is a racist hate group who kills indiscriminately while pretending it's for some cause. A bunch of people who let emotion and a victim mindset lul them into thinking anything they're doing matters when they're just hurting their communities and people. The cops are right to kill 99% of the people they do.
>>700887469
I know I'm ruining a 3 hour victory, but I just wanted to express that I can't tell if no one cared or no one read all the way through your shitty story.
>>700915568
Did you see the body cam study that showed use of lethal force increased after the body cams were deployed? BLM was a propaganda effort started by some powerful secret group in order to create a black/white race war. Trump is a symptom of those feelings. Many cops are dirty power mongers who have the wrong kind of mentality for law enforcement, but it's not like their salaries will attract real talent.
>>700889173
Hot.
I'm slowly quitting college because I realized (a bit late) that I don't want to be a teacher. I haven't told anybody yet. Not even to my gf.
I ADD, psychopathy, and schizoaffective (bipolar + schizophrenia). I'm currently manic. I feel bad about how little I feel for my old dog, I'm detaching because he'll die relatively soon. I have an increasing number of female friends and can't tell what if anything I want to do with them. I like annoying the shit out of people comically and confusing them or getting them pissed off as a means to blow off steam. I regularly want to kill myself. The meds I'm on, even though they keep my brain from decaying, make me feel so sick I skip them sometimes. I care so little about almost everything that I can't tell if the face I put on for the public is actually a lie or not. I cycle through so much I can't tell what normal is. I'm constantly listening to what's behind me, am always on edge, I think everything out so completely that I have issues making casual conversation. The only girlfriend I had drugged me regularly without my knowledge. I'll more than likely have to forfeit my attempts at engineering because the past year of discovering all of this has killed my work ethic. I've also been on 4chan WAY longer than I should have been, I was very underage when I started but I'm legal now by two years. /b/ has changed but it's always been shit in different ways, you guys are fucking faggots, the end.
Ive masterbated to orgasm while driving 120 km per hour. Twice. God teir distracted driving. People on cell phones... pfft.
i jack off to pictures of my gf's little sister
>>700903937
male or female? why would you have gotten caught?
>>700903411
your mom never knew?
When did you give it up and how has it affected you?
>>700899596
does he live near you? Why not meet up snd see what happens.
>>700917969
how little is she?
>>700873208
I once got a degenerate to buy me a steam game in return for online sex roleplay.
Confessed to the girl I love, cried for 20 mins after we got off call. Not because she rejected me, I told her to think about it.Because my selfishness could have damaged the most important relationship I've had in 3 years.
>>700919210
did he know you were male?
I like to make girls heads bigger in photoshop
>>700919742
why not just make their bodies smaller?
>>700868955
I absolutely can not sleep in a room that other people can access. Any door is either locked or barricaded.
I've been that way since I was like fourteen, not sure why, but I just can't sleep if I don't know nobody else can get there. I've gone days on end without sleep just to avoid having to do it in the wrong place.
>>700868955
When shortlisting applicants I try to figure out who might be a nig. Some slip through the net but I usually just fuck them over at the interview stage.
I ask things only a white would know. What does your Dad do for a living? That sort of thing.
my babbysitter touched me when I was 4 but it was k cause the bitch was smokin hot
>>700868955
I am very jealous when my twin has friends or show any affection towards any female ore mail. He is only suppose to be with me! Not anyone one else. and just thought of him while someone else kills me little by little. We are twin, who can he betray like this?!
1/2
>When I was 13/14, I was big into "hacking"
>I was a script kiddie who used cracked RAT's and went into adult chat rooms getting people to RAT
>only ever got like 30 people
>One of the guys was a 40 something year old man who had a wife
>Thought he had the weirdest fetish I had ever seen
>He liked to put on boxing gloves and fight with women and purposely lose and when they knocked him to the ground, he wanted them to sit on his face and talk shit to him
>Me and my friend nick-named him buttface for it.
>After infecting buttface, I kept tabs on all the stuff he was doing. Took screenshots occasionally of the women he talked to and stuff.
>Occasionaly load his laptop's webcam and see that butface was a creepy old man looked kinda inbetween an unfit jason statham and gordon ramsey
>Whenever my friend was over we would fuck around with him for shits and giggles
>stuff like inverting his mouse movements, or changing the screen hue and would watch him get frustrated
>Geo-location showed buttface was traveling all the time for work, especially in California for some reason, even through he was from New York
>Buttface would message random women in local chat rooms and try to find someone that would fufill his sexual fantasies in real life.
>One day, after making every webpage open meatspin, he suddenly goes offline.
>Don't see his computer go online for a solid two weeks.
>>700868955
nice get my boy
>>700921227
2/3*
>Playin runescape one day when the desktop notification pops up "Buttface is online"
>Finally. I'm sick of looking at this other colombian's laptop I infected.
>Geo-locate shows the computer back in new york.
>Pop on the camera
>A man in a blue best-buy shirt is typing away at the computer.
>Get scared and close the RAT.
>Get back on a couple days later and see he's still infected.
>Lul, bestbuy sucks dick at removing simple viruses.
>Keep tabs on him for a week
>One day my friend comes over and we decide to troll him real good.
>Get on his chat room and pretend to be a friend of some girl who had been with him.
>Say I was super interested in his fetish before he even brings it up
>He gets real antsy and wants to know who it is that was my "friend"
>Explain that my friend wants it to be a suprise because it's been such a long time since they;ve done anything and she wants to have a threeway with us.
>Schedule a meeting for thursday night with buttface.
>At this point I was too lazy to try and infect other people and noone was as interesting as this guy.
>Thursday night when he goes out to the meeting spot, I gather all the good screenshots of this guy and how he hooks up with women and such.
cont..
>>700921167
Because you're the Danny Devito of the partnership.
>>700921363
3/3
>Open up his outlook and email all the good screenshots I've collected to all his contacts.
>This includes his wife, family, coworkers, and boss.
>Title the email: Hello, I'm ButtFace
>"Just thought some of you might be interested in what I do on business paid trips when I'm not busy at confrences and stuff, Attached are some images of things I like to do in my spare time."
>Pictures of him chatting up women. Including my full chat log. A picture I had of anal porn in the background as he typed a business email to a coleague.
>More chatlogs of trying to convice women to let them sit on his face
>About to send but feel kind of guilty about the repercussions.
>My friend eggs me on.....
>Send
>Oh shit, I did it.
>After I send all these out, I delete him from my infected list. I've probably gone too far.
>Stop infecting people as it got pretty old after that.
>Told a couple of friends right after about it.
>One told me I probably ruined his life
>Laugh it off
>Realise now, almost 8 years later, that I probably fucked up buttface's life a bunch. He probably lost his marriage and job and social life.
>Oh well, Buttface had a fucking weird fetish man.
>Watching Bob Ross with gf
>Spooning on couch chilling maxing relaxing all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
>She shifts ass around on limp dickscut
>Get hard
>She turns around and strokes cock through pants
>"Did I do this?" She asks playfully
>Instead of responding with the appropriate answer I respond with, "No Bob Ross did it, duh."
>We have a laugh and keep watching.
>She grinds on me again and I get hard, she says "Bob Ross is back at it again"
>Think about it for a sec and remember what she ment, say "I thought you were calling my dick Bob Ross."
>We have another giggle
>Long story short between me and my gf my dick is reffered to as: "Bob Ross"
This hasn't worn off either, today we were just chilling again and she asks if Bob Ross is up for anything. Not too great of a secret honestly, still funny.
>>700895511
Good job dumbass.
This is the kinda shit that makes people never want to order fast food.
Inadequate tip vs No customer, which would you prefer?
Spoiler, a saturation of one leaves you with no job, while the other leaves you with a boss forced to pick up the loose ends.
>>700919742
It's you
