In this thread, we rekindle the memes of a time long forgotten.
Who remembers this cunt?
She was quite the meme for a while.
The one thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for is for good men to stand by and do nothing.
>Knowing you killed your dad with this shit
Fuck! I remember when these were getting spammed all over the place.
Mmmmm. Some fucker ruined them by telling people they are lotus seeds.
Yeah, I remember that. Fucking pissed me off.
It was so much better when Moot was around. He'd occasionally come to /b/ just to fuck with us.
The new owner doesn't even come onto the board at all. Not one time since he bought the thing from Moot.
>THE NEW OWNER IS THE ULTIMATE FAGGOT!
You just proved you're not.
>No. Moot is kill by an alcohol.
Dubs of truth!
What Moot meant by "if it weren't for the money" wasn't that he was making money, he wasn't.
>He was talking about the 40K he'd stupidly invested in new servers and upgrades.
>What an idiot!
Yeah, I know, but it still happened way before most present-day anons got here.
You're exactly what I was talking about, earlier.
>Go back to Rottit, idiot. You really don't belong here.
Calvin lay there in bed, next to his tiger. His fourteenth birthday was tomorrow. He was getting older, puberty striking at his mind, voice, and body. He kissed Hobbes on the cheek, puling him closer and thanking him for being his friend.
Then it happened. It had been happening often since he was thirteen and he had no control over it. His erection tented his boxers, pressing against his friend's rump.
"Stop.." Hobbes mumbled with a growl, pushing him away.
Calvin turned onto his back, pulling his under shorts down and revealing his standing pillar, about five inches. Average, he figured.
He shook Hobbes awake. He didn't wake easily and grumbled and growled, but eventually sat up. "What, Calvin?" He asked angrily, wanting very much to go back to sleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too.." Hobbes said awkwardly. 'What is this about?' He wondered.
"Do you really love me?"
"Yeah, why?" Hobbes sat up further, sleep forgotten.
"I want to mate with you.." Calvin blushed.
"Wait! What? You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the liscence plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "nah, forget it, yo home to Bel Air"!
I pulled up to the house at about seven or eight, yelled to the cabbie, yo homes, smell you later. Looked at my kingdom, and I was finally there, to sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air.
Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.
There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.
I don't really don't know what else to say.
I JUST SHAVED MY BUTT HOLE AND NOW IT'S BLEEDING. THERE WAS TOO MUCH HAIR IN MY BUTT AND IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING UP THERE. I WAS SICK OF ADJUSTING IT EVER FEW MINUTES. SHAVING IT WAS FINE UNTIL THE END WHEN I NOTICED IT WAS BLEEDING IN THAT STRETCH OF SKIN WHERE MY ASS MET MY DICK. WHEN I SEEN BLOOD ON THE RAZOR I FREAKED. THEN I PUT A WASHCLOTH UP THERE THAT IS NOW SOAKED WITH BLOOD AND SHIT. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHAVE YOUR ASS
Its very 2008 in here
when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her.
By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.
When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.
I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.
It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.
Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.
I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.
When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.
...god I’m fucked up.
Anyone remember MostlyHetero on wattpad from like a year ago? He wrote more short stories.
He was a quick meme but fuck those stories made me laugh.
gr8 b8 m8. I r8 it 8/8
This is so adorable lacking in effort I can't help but be moved to laughter by it, like when you go to pizza hut and ask for a pepperoni pie and they just throw a breastwork at you and call you Gilgamesh.