ITT: SHARE YOUR SECRETS
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: SHARE YOUR SECRETS
or dont idgaf
derp
>>700486382
I killed a guy in afghanistan. I watched him bleed out with a bomb on his chest. I "cleared" areas that had mines and popped a guy clear across the field. Nothing but his chest and foot. I thought i saw an IED said nothing and the truck in front of me got blown up because I thought it would be a faster day.
My 20 year old mega slut cousin brings up the topic of sex a lot when we see eachother, like she's hinting at something. Want to pursue further but not sure if the risk of potential family shame is worth the destruction I'd bring to that pussy if we found ourselves alone at my place
>>700487926
go for it. Genetically speaking you are in the clear. Slay it
>>700487600
heres his foot
>>700487926
as someone who has slept with 2 of my sisters. do it,
>>700486382
I fucked T Swift. Ive told the story here b4. She made me cum on her tongue.
I spend a lot of my spare time posing as a woman online and making people fall in love with me. I've got a heap of nudes and other random stuff from guys and girls i've tricked over the years. No one that knows me knows that this is what i spend most of my spare time on my own doing online.
>>700488062
heres the IED I didnt care about
>>700487600
heres the kid his dad drove intro an ied
>>700488136
are you the catfishman?
Im fuckbuddies with my friend's gf's 13yo sister
>>700487926
Same, but its my sister, we live together and she is like 7 years older than me
>>700488461
>catfishman
No that's not me but the stories are pretty funny
>>700488461
YOU GOT CATFISHED
>>700488097
I know you're lying, but give us the story.
I shot a man in Reno.
>>700488092
>>700488683
worth it trust me. i live with one of mine right now. nothing says casual sex quite like a 5 step walk
i have anti-social personality disorder
>>700488355
maybe his dad was a pedo rapist and you did a good thing who knows the world is weird like that
>>700487600
Which branch?
>>700488683
sounds like heaven...
i've got this hard up feeling where i just can't get over this one chick who i barely know. she does stuff and i almost always like it. i'm sick.
I have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
>>700489503
What the FUCK is wrong with you, man?
I have no fucking clue what "cringe" means on the internet
>>700489055
He was shit, we warned him. Fuck him but you know if you fuck up a family member the kid would be a future terrorist. If you want to change these countries you start with the women. Any Feminist that talks shit about a war should move to these countries. Women have the only thing to lose. Progressives with their first world rape culture just lose it over afghanistan.
When my nephews stay at my place I let them shower with me and my gf. Their parents are conservative jesusfags who shelter them from reality. Pretty sure she is the 1st nude girl they've seen irl.
>>700489133
Army 12b wont say unit
>>700489741
so would you let the kid die to make sure you didn't make another terrorist
I'm kind of addicted to finding nude photos of people I know.....if i've ever had access to someones computer chances are i searched it for nudes.
so far got nudes of my friends gf another girl i know that he slept with, a girl i work with, my cousin and my gf best friend....fapped to every one of them
>>700487926
make your whole family convert to islam then marry your cousin.
I'm turned on by girls going to the toilet, so when I was 17 I asked my 8y/o cousin to let me go to the toilet because I was curious, and since she loved me she let me see her pissing and shitting, and it still turn me on 4 years later.
>>700489870
I honestly still don't get it, is it basically just someone being a shithead?
>>700489503
You fucking deviants need to take this elsewhere or make your own thread.
>>700489979
I would let everyone in that fuckin country die, because they dont give a fuck about anything that requires work. Whatever can make them the most money the easiest way is how they do things.
>>700490083
look buddy it's someone saying something that is really naive and emotional and disconnected from reality
Had consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
in the dark
and I enjoyed it
>>700490330
you're in a good job for your mentality
Not quite sure how to go about this... but i guess i'll tell you why i'm in this position.
About 9-10 years ago my parents invited me into their room as they had something important to tell me. They informed me that they had invited somebody to move into our spare room, they asked if i was ok with that, i was 14-15 at the time so i told them that i didnt want things to change but that if they believed it wouldnt then they are the parents, i didnt really care, i had my friends and at that time i just ate and slept and occasionally gamed at home. How wrong I was...
In a crazed version of events the woman moving in changed everything. My mum became depressed, i'm unsure how much of a hand the woman had in this but she did make herself the crux of my mums life, eventually to a point where she drove my dad from the house by cutting herself and calling the police, nobody in the family knows i was awake for that, but i was. I will never forget the moment that my dad came into my room and told me 'everything will be fine' and kissed me on the cheek, how wrong he was. 5 minutes later the police came and despite his protestations he was taken away, im pretty sure he wasnt arrested, but he never came back to that house.
Now that my dad had been userped it was next my turn to be attacked. It wasnt much physically, i wasnt going to school hiding bruises unless i'd got them in the 'chav vs mosher' civil war that seemed to be happening in my town or the neighboring town me and my friends went to once or twice a week, it was more mentally that i was being downtrodden.
This wasn't aided by the womans daughter moving in. I was nothing but nice to her, she is pretty as well, I introduced her to my friends and she quickly got more popular than me. She then proceeded to use her popularity to attempt to destroy any that i had. Told my mum about the relationship i was in with a 13 year old, but this 13 year old wasn't a virgin before i met her, she destroyed that relationship... 1/2
>>700490478
did you make babby or did you fail at that just like you fail at everything else in life?
>>700490512
Im no longer military because I took a job for mouth breathers. When you score higher than triple of your SGT on the asvab it's hard to take order.
>>700486382
Before I die, I plan to offend everybody I know to the most extreme sense so they will hate me. Why do I want this? I want to die forgotten and alone, because then people won't be sad when I'm gone.
I'm fucking a married guy whose wife is dying of a degenerative disease. She went into a home recently and it's so much more convenient because we can fuck at his place now rather than in my shitty apartment.
>>700490523
she then destroyed the relationship i had with an older girl, she was like 19, so it became clear she just didn't want me to be happy. She spread a rumor that i was stalking a girl i liked, even though this girl would always come find me when we were out, but worst of all was that she got her best friend to falsely accuse me. Looking after the house at 17 I think, mom gets best friend of 'step sis' to check in on me, so she comes round about lunch time and we talk and decide to make a day of it, have lunch, go the pub, hang out, then we go home, chat on the step outside mine, then I go inside and thats it... days after my mom calls me into the living room and says I've 'been rapey', no specifics on what I've apparently done, and that my dad is on his way to take me to his 'until it cools over', I was going out with hordes of people every night at this point, there was nothing happening, no raving mob, no accusations other than to split me from my family, when I come back I'm told the family is moving to the other side of the country. I'll never know where the accusation came from, was it actually her, or an invention to make certain I didn't want to go with a family that didn't trust me...
I now can't talk to women, am an emotionless sociopath, and lonely as fuck.
>>700490709
How you gonna do that?
>>700491033
Spilling all their secrets they confided in me, telling them things they don't want to hear, trying my best to make them hate me.
Planning as I go.
>>700491010
Neat
>>700490330
yeah another state sucking fuckboi soldier just killing the browines cus he can cus if people came to your house with guns you wouldnt fight back right cus you do know that the entire country is not all terrorists the war was about one group and you went and bombed cities thats like blowing your house up cus theres a roach in it gfys you garbage
>>700486382
I'm vegetarian and collect meat to masturbating with it
>>700491029
Beat 10 tonnes of shit out of her, equality and all. But the bottom line is people can do this and get away with it, if I could find the people that did things to me for my entire childhood, I'd make them suffer in the worst possible way, I don't know if it'd help me personally aside from the revenge, but at least they'd be getting what was deserving of them.
Hate begets more hate. Self destruction and the destruction of others is what humans are best at.
>meet qt trap on /b/
>exchange pics, shes passable and cute
>talk on skype so def not a catfish
>fap on skype together
>talk about how much i like her
>find out she was raped by her dad at a young age
>find out she's suicidal
>find out she paid a 45 year old pedo 70 bucks to basically rape and use her
>wish i never met her but she's a literal 10/10 chick with a dick so i still talk to her
>>700490478
>enjoyed it
Too far, anon.
>>700491408
FUCK OFF RANDY
I had an imaginary girlfriend when I was 18.
>>700491462
>met a standard issue /b/tard
>confused by the results
no one comes here to fap to missionary position sex between loving couples
>>700491462
This is a dude who pretends he's a girl. You really thought that was a normal thing?
>>700491290
Go cast your hillary vote fuck boy. Enjoy martial law.
>>700491434
guy named liam did it
>>700490014
In the same way.
But I hardly ever get access to ones computer.
You got any tips or tricks u can share with me?
>>700491707
CONSPIRACY
>>700490083
Google it dipshit
>>700491649
I honestly never would have imagined a story so dark for her. I knew the world was a fucked up place but holy shit
>>700491462
Post pics faggot
still not over my ex. it's been a year and a month since she left. was with her for 6 years. can't have a decent relationship because i'm a womanizing piece of shit. fucked my ex brother in law's girlfriend out of spite. fucked a lot of people out of spite, to be honest. i don't view women as anything other than a dick holster because of that fucking woman.
>>700491865
Removing federal for profit prisons is the first step to black sites. Federal run prisons will be the first step towards martial law. Blacks vs whites is the first step for jews. Oh the budget isn't complete? Arrest every person. You think the army wont take your possessions? You're delusional. They Will and they train for it everyday.
>>700490014
wanna share some?
>>700492317
>conveniently leaves out that blacks are only 13%
>Whites are 63%
>Heavily armed population
None of what you said will happen
I am in Relationship for 1.5 year and i am still a Virgin :<
>>700492674
Married a christfag or too beta to fuck her?
>>700492499
Of course it won't. Because you can' talk about anything but white guilt. America is run by jews. Oh suprise they are 1.4% of the population how could they ever produce martial law. Over represented, over powered. Stock up on ammo, learn survival skills. I'll meet you in the field.
i think black lives do matter.
Since this thread is going absolutely nowhere anyway, here's an unrelated question
I've been wanting to buy a new phone, but I'm basically as broke as a human being could possibly be. Right now I'm thinking of mainly 2 options: the Acer Liquid Zest Plus and the Motorola Moto G4
Which of these would be a better option and why? Or maybe there's another phone in that same price range?
Thanks in advance m8
>>700492888
i'm just too much of a bitch to fuck her. she cheated on me with my best friend a couple months ago because i wouldn't fuck her.
i like to tip my pizza delivery man.
None of my siblings are fully related to me. We all have different dads, so shit is a little crazy. I haven't seen my own father in years and I really want to see him. He tells me he's been in jail for most of the time that I wasn't able to see him. Not to mention that one of my brothers literally hasn't seen his father for most of his life, funny thing he is half black and the father is black.
my gf is 24 years old and has never had sex. I'm looking forward to making love to her virgin unused vagina
>>700492942
what if the movie bastille day is basically what is happening with the blm movement? it's all a CONSPIRACY
>>700492921
Sorry but people are getting fed up over blm. Nobody really supports them anymore. They chimp out and destroy cities (see milwaukee protest over a guy shot WHO HAD A FUCKING GUN). This county is over that and is either focused on hating Muslims again or focusing on the circus of an election going on
>>700493019
That's rough anon. Why wont you fuck her? And why are you still with her if she cheated
Bi fag here, when i was in college, 18-20yo, I had a secret relationship with one of friend's 13-14yo brother. In pretty much every way it was easily the best relationship ive ever had compared to the many girls ive dated. Plus he was cute as fuck and had awesome body. 1st time we fucked was best moment of my life
>>700493240
because i love her. and i'm a cuck. my dick don't work right no more and i haven't had the guts to tell her.
I hope to God that something may happen happen with us. But really, I probably passed away my chance. But who knows. Could change down the line. Well I hope so at least
i'm a male and i love to suck and get fucked by big, fat, uncut cocks...i swallow and take cum up the ass all the time and i always go ass to mouth....i would also love to get fucked by two dogs, suck one off while one fucks me knot deep and then they switch places
>>700493127
is she fugly or something? post pic damnit
>>700488137
wow bro youre going to hell
one time i accidentally the whole moop
>>700493156
You are over it, I am over it. And the silent majority is over it. But to talk about it with reason is "racist" now a days. They (the jews) have more influence than you or I do. I live 4 hours from milwaukee, I've been shot at in milwaukee. I've been robbed in wilwaukee. and I've shot at people in milwaukee. No one cares about concealed carries defending themselves. A Black cop shot an armed black assailant and they blame white people. Soros a jew provided BLM with 650,000 dollars this year. The army and the national guard has trained and continues to train on martial law.
>Visiting father
>Sharing memories over lunch
>Talks about his old best friend
>Reveals that the man who was his best friend for 20 years, the man who took care of me for a large part of my childhood, a man who took me to see movies, gave me ice cream, the man who I considered a role model, and a goodhearted man, my father's best friend, so pretty much my uncle..... is a convicted pedophile.
It's a terrifying secret that my father has kept for a decade since finding out after he was busted.
What bothers me, is how could my father risk my well-being by placing me in the hands of a pedophile(specifically underaged boys) for so many years?
He says it tore him up. But it was his best friend and he trusted him.
Let it be known... this man didn't do anything with me, and he did take care of me as a good person, and family.
But someone needs to explain to me how a rational man can place his child at such great risk. I don't know how to feel about it.
>>700493344
Stop watching porn and or go get some viagra
morez
>>700493672
haha you were the bait for his bestfriend XD
I'm lonely and I don't know how to communicate with people. I say suicidal things to my friends but they think I'm just being sarcastic.
>>700491707
I'm an anarcho capitalist dipshit i dont vote fuck all governments
>>700486382
ive been on female hormones for 2 years and now its hard to look like a male
>>700494494
I get the same, they say "oh get over it" or "It's just a mind set, change that". Family doesn't understand it so you can't talk to them, with anything.
I watch tranny porn n masturbate well my gf lays sleeping next to me im doing it right now
How is your transitioning going
>>700494825
have you got boobs yet?
I've been having sex with this huge black guy for the last two months. My girlfriend obviously doesn't know.
why is everyone on 4chan becoming a tranny
>>700495015
you tell me
>>700487366
Lost
>>700494832
Oh, they don't think that I'm depressed or anything. I try to hide it as much as possible. I just feel like I can't communicate with others on a deeper level.
i'm a guy and i wear panties and pantyhose under my male clothes
>>700495107
cute <3
But hows that ass coming in
>>700495347
thanks, I don't think I am but like even in guy clothes and with my hair in a pony tail people still call me miss
>>700495467
i mean, you still have a masculine jaw line, but you're gorgeous, nonetheless
>>700489769
Bro... what roto was that?.... I vaguely remember that landscape lol
>>700495657
well thanks i guess
>>700488572
noice, story?
>>700492174
Give it time bro, one will come along when you're not searching and it will be good. Don't go hunting for the next girl.
>>700495467
i would agree that you are good looking
>>700488137
why even use the damn roads, it's a humvee desert drive that bitch
>>700496111
idk man. like, i look at what she's doing and all the guys she's fucking and it just makes me feel inadequate. like, i'm on an emotional journey to try and one up her for like, no fucking reason.
>>700491029
Find the ugliest, nicest, most down to earth girl you can and woo the shit out of her; i've been living with her for 3 years following my gaming and producing passions; been sober for a year (painkillers n herb). I don't feel better, but I know I am better, ya know? anecdotal at best, but my powers, like yours, made my bills nonexistent.
>>700496128
yeah but like what do I do about my massive cock?
I couldn't sleep without a pacifier until 12
>>700496071
i put my penis in her vagina and cum in her.
>>700496547
alot of guys like that
>>700496547
shove it in my fucking mouth, baby ;)
>>700496547
shove it in my ass and then shove it in my mouth
>>700496688
but I tried and they only want me for it, I want love, not to be a fuck toy and then tossed aside
>>700496721
I don't ever use it. I hate the fucking thing
>>700496688
alot is not a word
>>700490014
Same. Ive only had very limited success though. The girls ive managed to get access to their emails havent had nudes anywhere.
I know a girl whos done lesbian porn, but thats not the same thing.
>>700496891
you need a bottom guy like me
Great, another thread derailed by trapcancer
>>700497045
you got any great secrets then, fuck stick?
I let my dog sniff and lick my pussy
I like wearing womens panties. Im not a trap or anything, but i like wearing lacey knickers.
I'm going to fuck my niece who just turned 18. She's so fucking cute. She's adopted too and that makes it hotter to me. Pic related
>>700497444
Same, women's clothing just feels really nice.
Since this thread is going absolutely nowhere anyway, here's an unrelated question
I've been wanting to buy a new phone, but I'm basically as broke as a human being could possibly be. Right now I'm thinking of mainly 2 options: the Acer Liquid Zest Plus and the Motorola Moto G4
Which of these would be a better option and why? Or maybe there's another phone in that same price range?
Thanks in advance m8
>>700497576
yes it does, good thing hormones made me fit into them nicely
>>700497576
I only really like wearing panties. Maybe a long skirt if it suited me. I find it stupid that its okay for women to dress as men but not vice versa. Why is it okay for the girl who works in my office to wear her husbands boxers, combat pants and a mens polo shirt, but me wearing panties and a long skirt would be seen as strange?
There was a hole in my parents wall that led directly into my room, can't remember what happened
It somehow was always there, within some time I found myself bringing the bed closer and closer to the hole so I could peek while my parents were at it. There was nothing about my fathers body that had any sexual interest to my, mostly my mother flexing her body and her sweet moans.
>be 12
>parents fight alot
>dad always apologizing
>never understood why
>they divorce
>be 13
>parents get back together and things were never the same
>One of the first things I did trying to adjust to my old home again was check the hole
>dad had covered it up with some home depot type playdough
>While getting stuff to break the hole again I hear my mother commenting on it
>"I see you finally fixed the hole"
>fml, now it would be too obvious how it got there again
>So adjusting to old life again, routines get in order
>I surprise myself in how fast I got it in order again
>In room, browsing porn on my amazing ADSL connection
>Diamonds, hear mom and dad kissing
>Ohshii, things goin down
>Get to bed, bring the TP
>Realize the fucking hole
>Give up, back to porn, mom is moaning
>fuck it, I can't take it anymore
>Softly push the dough
>It falls out easily enough and doesn't make any noise at the drop
>Dad's swollen balls facing me
>With mom cowgirling him, with her amazing tight butt jumping up and down
>Jack it and cum within seconds
>Curiously just watch the rest of their sex, not feeling the urge again
cont.
My gf and I found a big black bull on cl and we had him at out our rape fantasy. Tied me to a chair as I watched him pound the fuck out of her. She came hard three times in a row as he fucked her. I came just watching them fuck. Pic is her.
>>700497661
Xiaomi Mi4c
>i grew and sold weed when i was 18
>im a transgender girl and i want a secret life as a twink boy
>ive been payed for sex more often than not
>im planning on growing weed again
>ive sold amphetamines once or twice
>i write graffiti
>i really really really wish i was just a twink boy
>>700497444
same here. i've been wearing panties and pantyhose under my guy clothes since i was 12 or so
>>700486382
My girlfriend does porn. I've seen her webms on here before. I've provided sauce.
>>700498178
pix, please
I want to fuck my girlfriends bestfriend she is like a sister to her but she always has her underwear on show normally something silly nothing lace and is always very flirty and physical we also message each other and talk non stop joking about her going to poledancing lessons and she said she would give me a laudable for my birthday jokingly one day we named her boobs jelly and bean they are bigger then my girlfriends as well and she still calls them.that when I'm around and I have had several tickle fights where I've accidently touched them over shirt obviously and touched her ass she has never had a boyfriend at all since I met her and ive fucked my girlfriend and imagined it's her a lot recently
>>700498031
>next day
>dad already gone to work
>Mom's out too
>Home alone, no school
>Check hole
>Still open
>Go to parents room grab the dough
>Fix it around in dad's garage
>Put a screw in it and a line
>So I can pull it out like in a bathtub and put it back in
>Get to my room
>Lock, about to 'bate
>Mom comes home
>Ohshii, maybe she'll go for a shower and I can peek at her nude
>Dad's with her
>She calls out to me
>Don't answer cuz wanna see dat body
>They go to parents room
>Eavesdrop before doing anything
>Hear them kissing
>Things go down again
>Hear slurping sounds
>Pull dough out
>Their naked...Wait
>Not dad's body
>Wtf...
>Mom's blowing him
>He goes down on her
>...Uncle Jack? (Mom's Mother is his Mothers Sister, basicly their related)
>He's fucks her way harder than dad does
>Confused as fuck...Confused hardon
>This is so disgusting and filthy, but this is so hot
>Watching mom's body get plowed
>Jerk it and cumbuckets
>He stands up on bed and she kneels before him
>He showers her face and tits in cum
>Mom smiling, soo happy
>She looks to the hole
>Eye to Eye with me
>Basicly echo each other in "HOLY SHIT"
>Put dough back in
cont.
>>700498226
Only done it a few times, but i do want to do it more.
Got into yet another fight with my bf. Want to break up with him but I feel like I'm too old to start over and used to think he was my soul mate.
My life is so garbage I don't even have any good secrets.
>>700488137
You serious? You saw the IED and didnt report it? You fucking piece of shit. I'm screen capping this, gonna hunt you down and fucking make sure your ass is punished under UCMJ.
Just got my hands on some medication that phenylbarbital in it. Thinking of slipping it into my sis-in-laws drink or maybe one of the neighbor women.
i try to fuck my dog 2 years ago
I'm abusive but so is he. I'm also extremely suicidal when not on my meds. I haven't taken the meds in days.
Sucked my 10 yo nephew's dick.
>>700498970
Living in a crowded prison is way worse than in a lonely meadow. Trust me on this one.
>>700486382
Got my dick sucked by a relative when I was 10.
I'm too afraid to taste my cum
>>700498779
continue faggot
>>700486382
My friend and her husband have a couple "miracle babies" after they tried conceiving for a few years and failing. I have lots of sexual memories of my friend and they have their kids. Win-win-win.
>>700495107
Your that trans that collects bad dragon dildos right?
I still watch my gf fuck her ex Bf
>>700501204
who's bigger?
>>700501411
Him by a large margin. That's why she does it
>>700501509
Does what?
>>700501635
That's why she still invited him over for sex
All i really want to do is get high every day.
Mainly pills, weed and nitrous.
I have no ambition anymore, I don't even want sex or friends.
>>700502075
Same except for the drugs part.
I fuck a female i work with once a week infront of her husband.
Was great at first but now i feel bad due to feelings i have for another woman.
Being it's Sunday morning, telling of prep since last night over past 40 hours...
Have access to church kitchen as a good church-goer, but volunteer and do janiorial / maintenance regularly.
Arrive Saturdays including this one and take juice jugs from fridge, some for refreshments at break between services morning and mid-day, and once a month one is for communion (grape juice instead of wine at my church.)
- Replace filler cap with specially crafted cyber-skin pussy
- Shake jug to splash juice into cyber-skin pussy to avoid use of lube, spit on entry-end.
- Fuck the jug, cumming directly into 1.5 gallons of juice
- Slowly pull out after letting orgasm subside, remove topper
- Cup jug over cock and balls and shake jug hard, both rinsing off sweaty crotch and last bits of cum from cock that shiver out from cold liquid splashing all over my sex and balls.
- Put lid back on and replace in fridge, readying for the next.
Sunday: Enjoy watching the faithful enjoying the cum infused juices I made for them,
For some of the longest members of the church, they have over time swallowed several loads because I do it regularly.
>>700491462
>she
>her
Fucking stop that bullshit already
>>700500118
that a beautiful metaphor anon, not the anon you said that too, but just thought id let u know
>>700486382
I don't love him anymore. I'm better off alone for the rest of my life.
>>700486382
I got drunk and let a friend's roommate use me as his fucktoy one night. He fucked me in the ass and then made my lick his dick clean. I'll never admit to anyone how much I enjoyed being utterly abused and degraded.
i am a borderline pedo
>>700488964
Just to watch him die?
I go on site's like omegle and pretend i'm a girl, wait for them to cum and then reveal i'm a dude.
Pic related
Boyfriend is probably going to leave me. Probably going to off myself when he does. He knows this.
Not really a secret but a question my daughter is 21 and i want to fuck her so bad is this wrong every time i see her i just pucture her in aexual poses
>>700503319
Yo you need medical attention.
>>700503319
>Probably going to off myself when he does
u are 12, right?
MOOOOODS
Any time any of my girlfriends sisters visit (she has 3) i wait until they go out for dinner or whatever then go through their bags the day after they arrived and sniff and lick any dirty panties i can find. I'm hard as fuck right now at the memory of it.
Watching videos of peoples suicide or people dying is really fucking appealing and fun to me.
I plan to join the army or police just to witness this first hand.
>>700503513
poor doggos tail is squished :(
>>700492980
Doogee x50 pro, £50, normal android phone. Perfectly good, just 15℅ of normal phone cost. You're welcome.
>>700503391
Yes ofcourse its wrong,
Calling bait tho.
>>700503621
Doggo's tail is fine don't worry.
>>700503513
LOL not yet.
>>700503534
Not 12 just off my meds for being a fucking lunatic.
>>700503703
Don't off yourself, doubt your bf is worth killing yourself over kek.
Also tits or gtfo.
>>700503671
don't lie to me I am not stupid the doggos tail is clearly unnaturally restricted by the nylons :(
>>700503943
he likes it tho, look how he shows off his sexy bum
>>700496547
Surgery
>>700500153
>>700500069
i'm sensing a samefag
>>700490330
That's exactly how it works literally everywhere.
i pissed in a bottle of mr bubble
>>700504076
Edgy ;)
>>700504048
fucking furry lying to me fuck you you probably put your dick in doggos and say it doesn't hurt :(
>>700486382
im crying right now because of my depressions. no friends no gf lost my job no one knows about it and i have it since im 5
>>700486382
I once had a bj from a tranny
I can't feel love anymore. I don't care about anything nor anyone. Just smoke weed everyday and it's just fine, not good, not bad... that's how normal life should be right? Stable, in the middle.
>>700504076
hopefully all of those puppies learn to swim and quickly get out of that river then go on to live in the woods just fine fuck you edgy faggot
I killed a frog that was half dead/alive.
A land whale stepped on the poor froggy.
RIP
>>700504325
its like a big stone of nothing in your chest. cold. and then there are days, weed dont even help to get over that feeling.
I Jerk off in every house I sleep in.
>>700498779
hurry and continue
>>700489204
Different anon, my sister is 24, I am 28. Love making while we're both sativa-high is heaven.
had a hot roommate, she bought special milk cause she was a vegetarian, every day that milk bottle had my boner in it sometimes a little cum, she drank it like water.
>>700496891
If I win lotto Tuesday night, I'll pay for the next stage. No strings. But it's odds against actually happening, of course.
>>700497783
Damn, girl.
>>700491408
Dafuq outta here
>>700498779
come on faggot
>>700504174
shhhhhhhhh don't let the genius know that
>>700493672
Was he a pedophile or a sex offender?
I once fucked a bowl of cold spaghetti while wearing my girlfriend's thong.
>>700493101
Your mom sounds like a nice lady with her vag
>>700505343
Why cold?
>>700504639
no fucking way how can someone be that stupid?
>>700503671
w oof woo f nice xanax doggerino
I really want some xanax pls
>>700493672
Some pedos genuinelly (apparently) love children and care about them a lot. Sure your dad took a risk, but there's no garuntee that your uncle would have done anything to you.
You potentially dodged a bullet is all. Chill and write it off as experience.
>>700505343
why spaghetti?
>>700506041
just precum from fucking the bottle, mixes well i guess, shaved, no problems w/ pubes
I fucked my little sister
>>700506340
you are fucking mental
>>700503173
Gotta try this.
I film my daughter
my schizophrenic brother told my mom that he was going to kill me. i heard my mom talking loud to my dad on the phone saying that my brother was planning on killing me. i haven't told anyone this because im still fucking terrified about it
I shared my gf's nudes with 4 friends on different occasions, made it look like an accident. I also told 2 of her friends to walk in the bedroom while she was naked, because I told them she was dressed.
>>700491290
That is stupid as fuck. And shows a complete lack of knowledge regarding the geopolitical landscape of the middle east and a lack of understanding of the Muslim faith.
>>700506849
Dude. Move out
>>700507087
well i do own my own place, i was staying at my parents house because it was the holiday and they invited my 20 year old brother to come and visit. after that incident i haven't seen him since
Stay safe, buddy o~o
>>700491029
If you were an emotionless sociopath you would have no trouble talking to women, it's your emotions that get in way you fucking retard, read a fucking a book and stop bitching for once in your life
i like fucking empty milk cartons for pleasure
im cheating on my gf with an older woman
i love chubby chicks
i wank daily
love dressing up as a girl
like the idea of having a dick in my ass
sucked a guy off when i was drunk
>>700486382
>work as tard wrangler
>12 hour shift, but ok because 3 day weekend
>tard constantly going in the kitchen and making a huge mess
>tard is sneaky
>take a piss
>tard ate raw salmon that was for dinner
>unauthorized sushi
>get mad because this is the third time i had to clean the kitchen, and I'm by myself trying to watch 6 badnigger tards
Had a moment where i lost control
>catch tard flinging peanut butter on the ground
>grab him in headlock to surprise him
>fold him down to assert dominance
>accidentally slam his head against the corner of the cabinet
>big lump above his eye
>he keeps pointing to it
>wtf am i going to do?
>>700508276
so why dont you
>>700506844
Post more
>>700486382
My wife and I are normal friendly people that others might even consider boring.
But in the bedroom I am violently dominant and she begs me to go harder. She once had to tell the doctors she had been mugged so they wouldnt report me as they stitched her face up.
this used to be on the downlow because of the severity of it but this is a very personal story where it was just a normal day, my friends and i were playing ingress and making sure our portals in the city was ok. one of the portals was being hacked as we were walking past so we decided to wait until the portal was taken and then take it back. After we took it back we saw a couple of chads walking towards us also playing ingress, it was obvious that these guys were gonna cause trouble. after wiping the floor with the normie flith my parent somehow found out which was unfortunate as i had to move to my auntie and uncle's in bel air
I broke into my exs house to see why tf she left me for some cunt :)
I have played knifey spooney and lost
What my gf to cheat and forget to cleanup after so I can fuck her cum soaked pussy
I am taking a dump as we speak
>>700509475
what's that?
>>700509092
>>700509092
would facefuck/10
dated gf 3 months in, she was sickened by the idea of lesbians, vaginas, she never touched herself ever, only to clean, but hated the idea of her own wetness.
she was a bj virgin, we got wasted and i was playing with her, covered my cock with her cum, suggested it and she went down on me taking her own cum in then swallowing mine, never realized cause she thought it was mine since she never touched herself.
>>700486382
I'm a compulsive liar.
>>700498044
Lier
>>700491462
>cute trap with low self-esteem that enjoys rape play
sounds like a catch. man up and rape that little faggot.
>>700502706
that was considered a healthy male back in the day
>>700504564
Holy shit /b/ro same. I was starting to think I was the only one
>>700504635
why does the thought of bro/sis 'cest make me so fucking hard?
>>700498178
How can you be the scum of the earth in so many ways my god
>>700497545
More pics u creepy bastard
>>700508140
Fellow tard wrangler here.
Look, it was an accident, first off, so don't feel so bad. Second, jesus christ, with a ratio of 6:1 how would they expect accidents NOT to happen. Play up that angle. Say that so-and-so was too busy shitting themselves and herpy-derpy was trying to eat it--or something like that. You couldn't watch the potato you bruised because the others were being a handful. Simple.
Unless they're fully verbal, in which case they're going to snitch on you the first chance they get. Then you're fucked.
>>700498779
what time is it? yes, it is blackmail time
>>700502367
agree
>>700490709
I'm this guy around 10 years later. I'm down to 0 close friends, three actual friends I see twice a year. I talk to my family when required but don't engage. All I do is work and sit in my chair. Nobody is gonna feel shit when I die.
>bittersweet
>>700492888
You're gay dude
>>700493127
I usually just do a lot of dry humping with a virgin,all while telling her I won't pressure her till she's ready. Give her a dry-hump-makeout-orgasm and she'll be ready.
>>700494832
I was suicidal and super depressed for years. It all melted away when I became super successful. Depression isn't a chemical thing, it is a situational thing. What bad habits do you need to get out of anon?
I'm a secret sissy boi. Help me.
>>700497431
Pics /webm?
I masturbate to pics of my aunts tit
>>700487366
lol you win
>>700505891
Didn't want to burn my dick in hot spaghetti
>>700506266
Feels like a vagina filled with worms.
>>700498496
This might just be the perfect opportunity for a three way. Talk to both of them about the other and see if they are sexually attracted to the other. Get booze involved and take it from there.
> I've had 3 mff three ways
>>700514689
>super successful
what do you do?
>>700511671
Non verbal. My company hires all niggers from tough citys. They always call in sick. There is supposed to be 4 staff, but niggers.
>>700489012
diagnosed?
I want to fuck my best freinds ex. They got into a big fight after just trying to be freinds. I happend to think she was in the right
>Not because I wanted to fuck her this was just recent
Now she's texting me alot and she's never really texted me before. We've been frinds for so long and I've always treated her like an annoying little sister. But she keeps bringing up sex and jokes about being a slut. It's killing me
I like to pee sitting down, because I don't like it when the pee splashes back onto my pants/legs.
Also after I pee, I "wipe" my dick so that after I pull my pants up the remaining pee won't trickle onto my boxers and make it moist.
>>700515655
I'm a chief water systems operator, I direct staff from my chair and make 120k, have a free govt house, 4 weeks vacation a year, and will retire with 90% pay via a guaranteed pension.
>feelsgoodman
2 truths one lie
I've fucked my twin sister
I've fucked more than 30 hookers
I've had a girlfriend
>>700517455
>90% pension
holly shitballs, who is your company assraping, or are you working for the government?
>>700517559
nobody believes you have a gf, faggot
>be me mid 80's
>at local poll in philly (no fresh prince story I sware)
>get in and swimey time all good
>notice dindu's by my gear
>dindu's start rifleing in my shit
>thay take my boots and toss them over the fence after not finding any crack to take home
>ok game on nigglet scum
>play it cool until thay jump in with a huge oil stain swirling around them
>get out and dry/get boots dindu's laughing and shit *smirk*
>15 min go by there close to the edge but one of them got brave and went a few feet out
>enact op white pride
>run at them full bore...jump and cannon ball rite on the further out nigglet
>TFW you feel a neck snap under all this white pride
>other nigglets don't notice life guard didn't notice
>swim to other side of pool get out and walk away
>next day all over news nigger found dead in pool
pool is closed lmao...true story
Fucked one of my mom's friends. She wants me date her daughter and fuck her on the side. Should I go for it?
I hypnotize people every so often and when they're under I jerk off in front of them. Afterwards i wake them up and they're clueless about it.
>>700511458
thug life nigga
>>700517455
Let me also say that now is the best time for you losers to get into a career in utilities. Baby boomers are retiring in droves. Look for phone, gas, power, water, and sewer jobs. That's where you can make great money with no college.
Research research research!
>>700518127
Put railroads in that group too. The retirements are mounting up faster than they can replace people.
>>700518081
I used to hypnotize my gf and had sex with her. shit was cash
>>700518081
how does one go about hypnotizing someone?
>>700518233
Union job in any major port.
>>700518317
you look into their eyes and google the fuck out of it.
faggot
>>700518301
Nice, what kind of stuff did you get her to do while she was hypnotized?
>>700518317
Just research around online, watch vids on youtube, and then try to copy others until you figure out what works
I would kill innocent children just to get the good looks I dream of having.
>>700518468
alright man, cool to know that you're not a total cunt.
>>700518768
The trick to sex with hypnosis is preventing her from waking up. If you shove your dick in without notice or get her to gag on your dick it is going to end.
I started by telling her she was feeling good and sexy and getting her to tell me about what she was fantasizing about (as an aside, girls are fucking whores. seriously could not believe what came out of her mouth) then I would of course oblige.
best part was the ten second count down to orgasm. When I was ready to come I would tell her that she would come buckets by the time I counted to ten, good times.
not sure if related to this story, but she fucking hates my guts now.
>>700504074
already working on getting it
>>700504271
I once gave a straight guy a bj
>>700504691
Its actually covered under obamacare so i'm okay, I just have to wait for the surgeon to call and that takes like a month
>>700504719
>girl
this always makes me happy
>>700519344
>>700519344
Damn, sounds hot as fuck, I need to step up my game apparently. Did she have any idea the hypnosis was going to get dirty? Or was it a relaxation thing?
Would you be confident trying this on a girl you aren't in a sexual relationship with?
May or may not be related haha.
>>700519918
she was down, would not have worked otherwise since she still woke up a bunch of times even being gentle.
>>700486382
Whilst walking home from school i told my brother that walking a shorter distance home would take longer. Honestly i knew i was wrong, he crossed the street to prove me wrong and was knocked down by a speeding car.
I avoid competitiveness with anyone anymore even to my own detriment
>>700519918
oh yeah, one good thing that I forgot to add. I could not get any post hypnotic suggestions to work, but I did get her completely addicted to the smell of my dick with some careful cajoling. That paid dividends later
>>700520370
Figured as much, still seems like a good old time with a partner
>>700515718
I feel your pain.
I used to work weekend shifts and a creepy old nignog would assist me.
I went out of town one weekend and I came back to a tard demanding that I show him my tits in exchange for money--other staff reported that other tards were describing alcoholic beverages they wanted.
Apparently, the weekend I was gone, creepy nignog took the tards to a strip club to "pick up a friend". Creepy nignog alleged that no one ever went inside, but the tards' behavior and words told a different story. He got fired. Thank god.
>>700493672
Dad's a special kind of cuck.
>just fuck my son up, bestie
>>700517897
you got me
>>700520699
Weird, I can rarely get those to work too. But your consolation prize is ok though
