What is the shadiest shit you've seen or done /b/?
I occasionally post on 4chan's /b/ board
>>699887661
Damn, that's shady
>>699887439
voted for Trump in the primary
>>699887439
So they leave their entire house open, and the burglar still needs tools to get in.
>>699887439
I once sold a girl a used syringe for 30 dollars. I had brand new ones.
>>699887878
Cool
I slashed my neighbor's tires. He's a dick and I was drunk when I did it.
>>699887770
Maga
>>699887983
What dickish things has he done?
>>699887439
I was at the beach once and opened a giant umbrella.
>>699887770
That isn't shady it's the right thing to do
I stay out of the sun cos I burn easily.
>>699888091
This
>>699887439
I am a good laddy and regularly post on [ESS FORCE]
>>699888084
>opened a giant umbrella
shady as fuck
>>699887439
>going for drive
>storming outside
>big puddle up ahead
>tap breaks
>don't stop
>slam on breaks and they kick in
>car behind me swerves
>car behind them swerves and crashes into nearby wall
>hear more crashes and now yelling behind me
>holy fuck I just caused a pileup
>drive away into the night
felt like I should have done something
>>699888305
That's the joke
>>699887439
Just last night I walked around 5 parks and 1 schoolyard completely naked. This was a new record for me. My old record was walking around 4 parks in the nude on the same night.
Not only that but I walked about half a mile down a road with my shorts tucked under my balls so that my cock and balls were completley exposed while I walked down the street.
And then to top it off. One of the parks I went to was know for gay cruising and as I walked by I saw a car in the parking lot to I hoped for the best and went into the park.
As soon as I started walking down the path a guy came walking in my direction and we said hello as we passed each other. He than asked if I was the person he had talked to online and when he asked this I knew he was looking for sex so I told him that I wasn't the person he talked to but that I loved to suck dick.
We walked down the path a little ways to where it was a little darker and then slipped into some bushes and we both pulled out our cocks.
I leaned over and eagerly took his cock into my mouth and proceeded to give him a blow job.
I was so horny from sucking his dick, that on the last park that I went to for the night I walked around naked for a bit and then sat at a park bench and jacked off until I came all over myself.
>>699888207
Agreed. Its like betting on a crippled donkey in a horse race. It wont ever help you but makes you feel like you've done some charity work.
>>699888163
shady ass mutha fucka
>>699888339
Nah
>>699888039
He complains to the HOA about my trashcans being there til night time when I don't get home from work til then, he mows his lawn at 10 am every Saturday, he calls the cops on my son every time he is out at night with the neighbor kids, and worst of all he steals peoples' mail.
>>699887439
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa8lHzcjGw0
>>699888339
I wouldve done the same
>>699888369
Degenerate
>>699888428
What a cunt, glad you slashed the fucker's tyres
>>699888369
This is just lame
>>699887878
A lot of organizations give those out for free fibber. You can buy syringes any grocery store for about a dollar.
>>699888369
Where u from? Could meet you on a dark night and I wouldn't complain.
>>699888485
I didn't leave my house last night looking to suck a dick. I just love walking around parks completley naked late at night.
It feels absolutely exhilerating! It really does feel amazing.
I've been doing it almost every night for about 2 months now and last night was the first time I jacked off in all those times and the 2nd time I have sucked another guys dick.
>>699888784
Windsor Ontario
>>699888339
Their fault for following so close
>>699888593
My wife thinks it was the wrong thing to do but I didn't get caught so who cares
>>699888847
Well, right continent.... Guessing just a summer hobby then!
>>699888813
He didnt call you degenerate cause you sucked dick idiot
>>699887439
Nice try fbi.
>>699887439
Sleep with my best friends wife. I was in his wedding party.
>>699887439
Most "shady" thing I've done was steal all of the good looking minerals from someone's mineral collection.
A little context: I worked at a cub scout camp, the nature lady was kind of a bossy-bitch on the first day, never let it go. So I took some minerals from her personal collection.
Pic related
>>699888996
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Trafficked drugs across state lines
>>699889043
I used to walk around naked all the time growing up but havn't done it since I got married. Divorced my wife a couple months ago and started going on walks to get in shape and I just started walking around parks naked again. Felt so good I kept doing it.
It will probably be a summer thing but it will probably be warm enough into October to keep going.
>>699889345
Bonus points if you can identify all 5
>>699889203
No worries, m8
>>699889108
>>699889209
Story?
>>699888428
Dude sounds like a dickhead
>>699889108
I go to these parks at like 2:30-3:30 in the morning. Nobody is going to see me especially not any kids.
It just feels exhilerating being able to walk around these public places, completely naked.
How does that make me a degenerate.
>>699889375
Story?
>>699888948
This. Leave a Gap between you and the guy infront of you and it wouldnt happen.
>inb4 sry for bad english, not a native speaker
>>699887439
I stood menacingly on my front lawn as my friend took a picture
>>699887439
buy keys off of G2A
>>699888369
Wtf is it with parks and fags wanting to suck dick in them at night? I thought that shit only happened at Griffith Park here in Los Fageles.
>>699889562
Stop lying, faggot. Your story wasn't even entertaining.
I saw a guy wave at a young girl at a park, that's it. Only reason it's shady is because she ended up missing.
>>699889415
Coal
Jade
Crystal meth
idk some yellow rock
Amethyst
>>699889578
Her hubby was kinda a dick with her, cheated on her a bunch, psychological games, denying her but had a bunch of secret girls. Basically, he wanted her so miserable she would leave him.....I gave her some attention.
>>699889391
Might it have been the fact that you're a faggot that possibly ruined your marriage?
>>699889578
>vacationing in CO
>under 21 so can't buy pot legally
>have a hookup before we make the trip
>pick up an Oz of shatter
>drive it home across 4 states
Not like a huge amount but definitely enough to get a few years of jail time since BHO is a processed drug
>>699889933
No, the bitch got a tattoo so I kicked her ass out.
>>699889806
When there's nobody home go and walk around naked in your house, gives a sense of serenity. Also, it's not supposed to be entertaining, we're just sharing experiences.
>>699887983
Pressure from tires is no joke when they are penetrated. How did you do that knowing you couldve blown your hand off?
>>699890197
Well if he wasn't a retard he probably let most of the air out of the tires first
>>699889852
Haha. That's blue quartz, though I don't know what the orange one is. If I had jade I would have sold it to a collector by now, that's olivine.
>>699890128
>got a tattoo so I kicked her out
Weren't you just mentiontioning walking around naked at playgrounds and sucking dick in bushes?
>>699889878
They still together?
Does the husband know)
>>699890171
>in your house
That's not the same as outside, is it, faggot?
>>699890171
When there's nobody home, fuck your 12 year old daughter in the ass. It really gives a sense of serenity
>pic related
>be me 13 or so at the time around 2004
>playing RS with a friend of mine
>he has a shit load of gold like a couple 100 million
>he gives me his account information because he needed help with a quest
>monkey madness I believe it had just came out or something
>notice that his gold only shows 3 numbers (ex 200M)
>get an idea
>finish the quest for him went to the bank and pulled out just enough gold so that it would still read "200M"
>was about 400k or so
>log onto my account and go behind lumbridge castle
>log back onto his and go to the same spot
>drop the gold
>log onto mine and pick it up
Did this shit for like a couple of weeks. Ended up with about 20 mil or so.
>>699890656
Fair point, but you seem to be trashing on him solely because he was naked.
>>699890891
I can't tell wtf that is
>>699890891
I see fur an anus and a snake in the floor
Explain?
>>699890735
Snap! You got me there ;)
>>699887439
When I was teen this old dude would call the cops on me for riding my 4 wheeler through town. I wasn't speeding and it wasn't like some big city or even big town with a lot of traffic. It was a tiny ass town that didn't have paved roads. Like a town from the 1800s that hadn't been modernized at all. Fucker still called the cops.
So me and buddy walked through town drinking beer and threw our empties over his fence into his front yard at like 2 am.
>>699890919
Wew
>>699891019
>>699891087
Chicken butthole
The snake is its leg
>>699891151
Got more?
>>699891151
Is it wearing pants?
More pics required
>>699891019
>>699891151
It's a duck.
>fun fact, duck's can orgasm.
>>699891222
I'm not the poster, just observant
>>699889748
Pretty sure this is really common... I've always heard stories of gay dudes getting busted in park bathrooms.
>>699889446
Sure.
>>699887439
I smeared vagina discharge from my daughters panties on my penis and I let my wife suck it.
>>699887439
Technically I did break into a mansion once and spent the night in there. Police came the next morning and arrested me. But I was psychotic during that time, thought God gave me the keys to the house and that it was mine so it was okay and not shady at all so not sure if it counts, but OPs pic reminded me of it.
>>699887439
Posted my story yesterday.
I found out a city councilwoman in my town was essentially bribing people to vote for her. I helped her cover it up in exchange for sex, and took her anal virginity. (She cried. It was hot.) Now I'm dating her sister and it's getting serious. Still think about humiliating and degrading Madame Councilwoman when I'm fucking her sister. Makes me nut hard.
>>699890938
Yeah. Isn't that enough? Fucking freak.
>>699890919
Kek. Shadiest story in this thread tbh
>>699891431
Pics or it's not true
>>699890470
>call dealer
>ask for blue quartz
>buy whatever he brings over
>>699891431
Proof?
>>699890476
kek
>>699888369
That's pretty gay
>>699891642
>>699890891
Chicken fucker!
>>699890644
Oh he knew...they are not together.....they "tried" to get shit together...but he had no genuine interest in doing so. All of his dickbagness became evident and it was a mutual split.
>>699891151
>>699891222
>>699891246
>>699891265
I enjoy recording duck porn for donald
>>699888370
Thats that Hillary Vote feel.. shes about as lame as a dead duck .. but that Trump vote is for the win.
>>699891763
never. I am not that low. It's a duck.
>>699891812
Thanks /b/ro
Had sex with my sister and her husband. Pounded her pussy while he pounded my ass. There was a lot of blood and some crying.
>>699887439
I stand out in fields and hover over passerbys.
>>699888369
>we both pulled out our cocks
>pulled out
I thought you were naked, what did you pull your dick out of?
>>699889345
>>699892179
Your mouth
Kidnapped Madeleine McCANN
>>699889829
Damn. Was she ever found?
>>699892250
Ahhh, so that's what the aftertaste was when i woke up from a coma this morning.
>>699891812
Classy
>>699892299
LOL Pics or didnot happen
I shoplifted several thousands of dollars of stuff from Walmart over a couple of years.Was eventually caught being stupid but got the court case dismissed. honestly can't say I regret it, made out with a ton of stuff during a time when I couldn't afford food and spent $500 to make it go away and now don't even want to do it again.
>>699892299
Holy shit
>>699892534
female ducks cum as well. You can see them squirting prior to the duck's penis penetration
>>699892207
Oh my God, thank you! Did you just make that?
>>699892299
No, I don't believe this dude, no. NO.
>>699887439
So this guy posted a steam thread saying dubs gets fnaf and this anon was rollin for like an hour for their "lil bro". they finally win and the op adds the guy. Minutes pass with people saying "did op deliver?"
10 minutes later the op posts "stop asking questions, nothing to see here" and i ask where is anon? Op thinks they are some detective who did something to anon and they never replied never confirmed never spoke again. It was weird as shit, and op thought they were some detective
>>699892742
Would love to taste that
>>699892822
Checked, also, who is that?
>>699892568
Haha, would you do it again?
>>699892299
dubdubs speak the truth..
>>699892299
>>699892566
>>699892686
>>699892822
>>699893064
I'm nice to her.
>>699893388
Timestamo is everything, got it ot leave.
>>699893472
Dude, she is 16 now.
>>699893388
Damn, dubs again, you must be telling the truth
>>699893565
Still, actual timestamp or gtfo.
>>699893565
date on pics dude, missing since 08 i think
>>699892761
No I didn't.
But it's all yours friend
>>699892822
>>699892686
Don't believe a shitposter
I owe nothing. NYPA.
>>699893727
Well, can you prove us that it's fake ?
>>699893064
basically a little girl kidnapped from her holiday home at night whilst her parents were pissing about. me thinks they killed her tbh
>>699893908
This. I want (need) to know.
>>699893565
Listen here you dumbass fuck. We're you molested by your dad or uncle or something? Get off this thread with your dumbass logic, he is telling the truth.
>>699893927
Thanks
>>699893388
fucking dubdubs again
i broke into someones car in the country jordan in the middle of the night drunkenly with my friends and we took his id and withdrew like 1000 dollars from his bank account.
one of the friends dad found out and we had to apologize and pay the guy back
>>699893908
True, that can be admitted without evidence cannot be counteracted with evidence.
>>699892833
that was something which you saw first hand? i think i was in that thread too, with the zootopia nigger
>>699893064
Kidnap victim. Probably dead or sex slave. Stupid fuck parents took her to Portugal.
>if you love your fucking kids you don't bring them to Portugal.
Parents probably sold/killed her anyway.
>>699888369
thats not really greasy thats just really lame
Stuck my balls up my own ass and couldn't get them out. I went to the ER and told them I was sexually assaulted at work. I don't think they bought it, but they did help me get them out. I wish I was joking
>>699894344
LOL pics m8?
>>699894240
and they said the person posted something from 9gag so he doxed them for being a fag or something they talked on steam
>>699892895
Nah. I have never tasted or fucked a duck. Only girls can droop down to that level as they are nothing more than pleasure holes. I only stimulate a girl duck to orgasm.....Force-ably....JK LOL
>>699887439
You know those tags on mattresses that say "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW"?
I cut one of them off.
I've got a real bad temper.
>>699893472
Big balls Anon over, let's make something stupid to get arrested, yeeey. Faggot. Why do you want him to something you can't do ?
Applied for a job.
>>699894392
I'm never fucking doing it again
>>699894251
I went on holiday to portugal as a child twice. The first time was fine (in a resort no outside contact) but the second we stayed in a villa and some sandniggers stole my next door's passports money and things
>>699888369
>>699894500
why would you do it the first time fag?
>>699894568
for the lulz
>>699894404
404, zozzle
>>699894548
I'm willing to bet your parents didn't fully give a shit about your safety. Chances are they wanted to go, but couldn't find you a babysitter so they just decided "fuck it" and dragged you along.
Sorry /b/ro
>>699887878
i once sold a girl for a used syringe.
Seen some threads where everyone is hurr-hurr-ing and niggering and faggoting, talking about penises and shit. And there's someone posting mind-blowing information with enough fact to make you question the crazy parts.
No one ever seems to notice it.
>>699890476
i'm lolling so hard
>>699888428
you should kill him. if u dont can i do it 4 u? lol
>>699887878
I once bought a used syringe for 30 bucks
>>699894746
I NEED MY TOOLS!
>>699894695
My parents are chill, dads a stoner because why not. but my mum was a phyco bitch so they split last year. they took all 4 of us. Hate my mum but my dad is a nice guy
>>699894568
Just to see if i could do it. My nutsack is super stretchy. It felt good when I fapped with my balls in my ass but once I was done I regretted it.
>>699894922
22 for the twenty two people the doctors told about your ass balls story
>>699894922
Nice 3 dubs in a row, balls-in-ass nigga
>>699887878
Ex addict here. Here's hoping that evil is revisited onto you
>>699895309
What were you addicted to, you fucking degenerate?
>>699894439
Aw snap son!
>>699895602
That's the norm nowadays
>>699894439
bad tempurpedic
>>699888369
You're going to get caught. And the fact that there could be someone sitting in a public area, jizzing all over the place is what keeps people like me (night owl) from exploring. FFS four years ago, I could go anywhere, and if there were others at all, they weren't gonna mug me or try to fuck me; they were prob just smoking weed or something.
I nearly broke into a house
I climbed over a wall then l look into a window at the kitchen where I was going to brake in to I saw a guy in the kitchen looking at his laptop
I looked at him for a few second and then he looked at me I moved to the side and jumped over the neighbour's wall I herd him open the door and yelling at me" to get the fuck back here" after 7 mins he went back inside I escaped without getting caught
I nearly broke in the house again
cont?
>>699887439
the Clinton administration
>>699895830
Continue
>>699888428
Not being sarcastic, stealing mail is serious business.
I've fucked multiple girls over the years and while we would get drunk I would cum inside them and not tell them. Basically marking my territory as I go. I'm surprised I don't have 19 kids.
>>699887439
Once I downloaded a song from pirate site.
I am still so afraid police is gonna find out.
>>699895830
>te]
cont.
>>699887439
witnessed a kidnapping, needed to go to the ER and on the way to the hospital at the red light this dude was just walking and all of a sudden a white car came out of nowhere a bunch of niggers came out beat the shit out of the guy, threw the guy in the car, and took off
also a nigger trued to break into my house when I was like 12 but I scared him off with my bb gun which I took off the orange tip and looked like a real gub
>>699887439
Robbed a bank. They were insured.
>>699896132
I miss those days....
>>699896438
Story?
>>699887661
This wasn't a clever or funny reply.
>>699890919
My god. You do know guns and drugs are real, right?
>>699887439
Raid a few years ago, got code to take things further on anon IRC. Anon who wrote the code pp'd me $50 a few days later. Nigga must have gotten some really good shit for what I did.
Once in the subway i saw a guy taking a picture of a 12 year old girl with his phone. No body else saw it and i didnt do shit.
done coke in a bar washroom
I don't do drugs anymore except liquor and cigarettes
>>699897070
Full story?
>>699889607
Your English is fine, friend. Totally understandable.
If you want some friendly critique, though, "gap" didn't need to be capitalized (it's not a name, official place or thing), "infront" is two words, and "wouldnt" would be "wouldn't" (two words together; "would" and "not".)
Still know exactly what you're saying, though.
Anyway, I stole a shark tooth from one of those shitty boardwalk beach stores. I'm beta af.
>>699896155
They know now.
>>699887439
What I do now.
>>699887439
I once stole paper.
>>699897298
>2010
>stop lurking
>raid on some activist website I don't even remember who
>whynot.jpg
>anon going on and on about how leadership of activists is dirty AF, corrupt, sold members into sex trade
>nofuckingway.bmp
>join raid, jack shit at code so spam F5
>got bored so checked out anon's IRC
>mfw I found anonymous
>chitchat, got tarball and crash course how to
>ran that shit in a sandbox because I ain't stupid
>activist website is kill now, slower than molasses in january
>anon in IRC congratulating everyone we got "it"
>told to set up disposable PP and pm the email so I could revive my share
>itshappening.gif
>shows up a few days later
>mfw that shit definitely wasn't legal.
>>699890891
Helped a friend take delivery of a ton of hashish. I just had to stand arround looking menacing.
>>699896748
>Be young
>Run out of money
>Don't want a job
>Always thought I could rob a bank
>Never had the guts
>Need to pay for things
>Have no money
>Instead of selling drugs, decide to rob Chase bank
>Borrow motorcycle from friend, split 50/50, cover motorcycle logos and license plate
>Pack Walther P99
>Pack lightweight vest
>Ride up to bank, wearing full black helmet, gloves, suit, and motorcycle jacket
>Run in, start screaming for everyone to get the fuck down on the ground
>I've never seen anyone so terrified, they comply
>Pick out the manager
>Tell him to fill up the bag with all loose cash, no markers or dye packs, stack them neatly
>Grab pretty lady teller, hold her by neck at gunpoint
>Yell at him to hurry the fuck up
>Freaking out because it's almost been 2 minutes and the police are responding on Broadcastify
>Flip through cash
>Tell manager to put hands on desk, or I'll kill her
>Complies
>Smash his left hand with the P99, pretty sure a few bones broke
>"Wtf did I say!? No dye packs"
>Fire gun next to lady tellers head
>She's crying and telling him to please do it, she doesn't want to die
>He takes two stacks out
>Fucker actually put dye packs in
>Grab bag, take off, ride through two red lights, some fucker tried to follow me until I pointed the gun at them, so they exited through the left turn lane
>Going 70mph
>Cops are at bank apparently
>They have my street location
>Exit street, make a break for suburbs
>Drop bike with friend, tell him to get that the fuck out of town asap
>Split cut
>Still shaking, made easy $3200
>I'm surprised nothing happened, I was paranoid as fuck for the longest time
>Moved to a new state, the cash actually really helped me and I've been doing well for myself since, got a job, got a nice flat, living a peaceful life.
>>699895927
>>699896211
ok, I nearly broke in at 6:00 am in the morning
I climbed over the wall like last time,after getting over the wall and after ten steps I saw a window blinds open up the same guy I saw at the kitchen on his laptop,he got a 22 calibre revolver in his hand and he did a "your dead"
single with his other hand I ran fast as I could
back to the wall I heared firing from the gun
I didn't look back to see where the bullet went
after climbing the wall I hid in the woods behind a bush until the coast was cleared
where the bullet went was near my ear but it never hited my ear. after 10 mins I ran away from there
>>699898640
That's fucking great
Walking by an Italian restaurant @ night and dropped my pants and pressed my ass against the window and farted real hard which left a streaky shit blossum on the window. Family eating just on other side of glass. Kid scream-barfing mom shooting wine and pasta out her nose and dad spilling everything in a rage to get up. Shit was cash. Ran like a jew in poland.
>>699895754
Underrated post
>>699887439
Held up a cracked head with a friend. We're told she hit a lick on our buddy (he told us) for $2000. Turns out it was note like $40 worth oof drugs. That fucker just wanted revenge
Seen was maybe when a guy tried to shoot a friend, turns put he'd emptied his clip into the air as we were walking up to try and scare us. Dumb fuck
>>699899047
>>699895830
Did you wear a red hoodie while breaking in?
>>699887439
One time I sat under a tree on a very sunny day.
>>699889345
I did the same thing to SMU's mineralogy lab. I feel that I still owe them something back.
>>699899843
yeah why?
>>699898640
Cont
>shit was so cash bought a new keyboard and cigs to celebrate
>weeks go by think nothing of it
>blue van starts parking near my place >some super generic looking dude in a windbreaker always hanging out nearby always drinking coffee or pop
>this mofo looks bored out of his fucking mind
>always looks less bored when I walk by to get home.
>weeks pass light bulb comes on
>4chanpartyvan.swf
>stop at computer store on the way home, spend cash I have on hand on new HHD
>get home, triple format old HHDS watch tv, act normal
>set up new shit with all the same everything, looks identical from network side, file/folder names structure
>break up old hhd platters and run a little piece down disposal everyday
>months pass van still parking around
>one day get home early, front door open everything looks OK
>computer wasn't on when I left
>ohshitohshitohshit.jpg
>great idea comes up
>go to van, dude hanging nearby, walk up to him
>calmly say I know they were in my place and they need to leave
>denies everything
>next week stop at donut shop, have coffee and donuts delivered to van
>i don't see the van anymore
>>699899674
>>699899047
you are fucking retarded for trying to break into the same OCCUPIED house twice in THE SAME NIGHT
the world would be a better place if the bullet had connected with your brain
>>699900362
I broke in a year later
>>699900274
>filename
yes please
>>699900118
YOU SON OF A SLUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE IN TO MY HOUSE I SHOLD HAVE KILLED YOU RIGHT THERE YOU CUNT
>>699894439
you stole this from another thread like a half hour ago you faggot, punch yourself in the dick
Seen?
Cops raid a drug point, confiscate shit and then with my own eyes I see the same cops later sell it to someone else off the back of their squad.
Done?
I've covered for others' misdeeds in my job at a hotel. Guests do bad shit sometimes.
>>699891876
As if fucking any kind of poultry isn't just about the lowest level of debauchery a human being can manage.
>>699900807
holy shit, 4chan connected a thief with his victim. This thread is gold now.
>>699887439
steal from family
>>699887661
>>699901091
screencap this shit
this thread is top kek
>>699887878
fuck you
>>699901091
newfag
e
w
f
a
g
>>699900274
Lol actually o was a heroin addict then, fuck crack and cracked heads. I hate them sons of bitches
>>699901091
>>699900807
>>699900118
>>699899047
>>699895830
Screen cap this shit
bumping
bump
u
m
p
>>699894251
>don't bring them
TAKE*
retard.
>>699888428
You are nice gag. I would be constantly doing shit to that asshole. Starting with slashing his tires.
b u m p I n g
sell drugs to younger newbies and then have a friend waiting nearby to rob them. Now i have the money AND the product.
>>699887439
A brick threw through the window of a popular sushi restaurant followed by a glass jar full of butric acid.
>>699901892
I agree
>>699899513
>>699887439
when I was a kid on my way to school I would often stop to poop in my hands and leave it in mailboxes
>>699893908
you are really fucking stupid
I stole 10 g of meth and one of those multi chambered bongs, it had 8 chambers attached with plastic tubes.
Sold it all
bump for sneaky shit
>>699893153
Nah, getting caught kicked the habbit and I can afford what I want now.
>>699902167
They were closed for 3 weeks and went out of busses in 6 months.
Feels good man
I started a garbage fire at a subway station when I was like 16
>>699903040
Business
>>699893978
English you fucking retard, learn it. Nobody knows what youre trying to convey so shut the fuck up. You're basically shitposting.
>>699900852
Dude, it's a common joke.
>>699901892
yes all the way
>>699903346
it doesnt excuse that it was posted less than 30 minutes ago, get some new shit small balls
>>699904061
Regardless, there's not a problem here
>>699902167
Where have you bought butyric acid? Or you made it yourself?
>>699896392
Any news story on the kidnapping?
>>699901892
please sceencap
>>699901892
this thread is top kek so yes
>>699904429
Had a friend help me out
>>699901892
with that break in story
bumping for this
>>699889345
The guy with the minerals here. I'm surprised this thread is still alive.
>>699887439
this was a long time ago, in another life:
>grew up on north side of the city
>both parents were dead by the time i was 17
>no siblings but inherited our flat and some money
>went to uni, studied to become a doctor
>i enjoyed dissection particularly
>got a job working nights in the morgue
>from time to time i would do extra bits of investigation when left unsupervised
>took a few relics home with me
>investigating the bodies of the dead became boring
>i may have decided to move on to more active specimens
>certain parts of society were much more accessible than others
>nobody ever caught me though
>i still miss it some days
as i said though, that was a long time ago
bump
b
u
m
p
I
n
g
Met up with this couple on craigslist. He was 46 and she was about 22. I literally just fucked her and had her eat my asshole for 2 hours while he would drop in and out to watch and stroke himself.
>shook my hand, thanked me
>a week later go to get STD tested, she probably has superaids
>tested negative for everything
very fucking shady experience. Some dude has my number, and possibly recorded our session...hope i dont get blackmailed
>>699907098
What's the appeal of getting your asshole eaten? Does it feel that good or is more of a degrading thing?
>at lame party at some guy i dont knows house
>see some guy i know rollin and its his bday
>hes tryna hook up with this girl who seemed into him
>he has peanut allergy really bad apparently
>he goes to check her while shes doin some shit with other guy
>shes like sorry man u cant come in ehre we're eating peanut butter
Stole my cousins panties and wore and fapped in them
>>699907317
Male g spot is the prostate. Even if you're str8
>>699907629
But how could her tounge even reach that? Isn't the g spot deep in there? I thought eating an asshole is just like licking the outside and maybe a bit in?
Sorry turbovirgin
>>699887439
slim shady
>>699907731
I'm the original poster of the CL hookup. It's deep but again, just the stimulation on the asshole feels pretty good. I've eaten the ass of a few girls and most actually like it, along with fingering. You've just got to test the waters and see how she reacts
>>699907731
I've never been lucky enough to know for a fact, but have multiple friends who had it done to them (from the same grill lmao) and both said it was fantastic.
>>699907731
No I too doubt that'd work with a tongue.
>13 Drunk with my mate. On his back garden >throwing rock trying to smash a green house
>Thrown rock the other way towards the road
>Old guy walking with dog
>FUCK
>Rock hits old man
>FUCKING FUCK
>Run in house, Realise I've done something stupid
>Old man KOed ambulance and police take him away
>Me and my mate say we saw a car speed off
>Blamed Paki's in the area and got away with it
>Old man in hospital for a long time, Daren't leave house died about 2 month later
>News said rock caused it
>Never lived it down always played on my mind
>I'm a cunt....
>>699907942
She ate your ass for two hours though? Or were you just saying a long time?
>>699908068
I'm clean but I'd still be afraid I'd have some poop in there or just a poopie taste
>>699908090
Okay yeah seems like you'd need a butt plug.
>>699908289
I was just saying a long time. She rotated eating my ass and licking my balls/shaft along with the blowjob and handy for a damn long time.
>>699906731
mfw anon pretends to be jack the ripper
mfw i have no face
>>699908289
I think a finger will be more effective, but I am not doing it anyway.
>>699908068
She let a grill up their ass? That's some kinky shit right there.
>>699887661
hilarious and original
>>699908421
Sounds hot. Plus if she's not on the shaft the whole time you'll last longer
I'm planning to murder someone anyone
i'm going kidnap someone shoot them in the head i'm going pull out their teeth and finger nail and burn off their finger tips dismember their limbs and place them in garbage bag all over the place.
>>699891364
Kill yourself
>Home invasion
>selling any kind of drug
>online harassment
>theft
All the stereotypical nigger activities
>>699887770
winrar
Jump one of my close friends with the other people in the group that he thought was he's close friends
I broke in to a black person's house spray painted the kkk symbol on every wall in the house
>>699909069
true. I also lasted insanely long bc it was my first time doing anything with a couple. I was nervous and could stay hard at some points, and at others i was hard as a rock but couldnt come for the life of me
>>699909939
Doing the Lord's work
>>699889415
Amazonite, Amethyst, citrine, dyed quartz (the blue one) and the black one I need more time on.
>>699895172
What the fuck are you talking about?
>>699910093
damn right
>>699910097
probably obsidian based on the fracture
>>699894922
>>699895172
>>699910150
this shit made me laugh hahahaha
>>699889345
Was her name Marie?
When people don't tip me for delivering their pizza I record their address and vandalize their house and car later.
>>699887439
>Trafficked meth
>Slashed tires
>Emptied a fire extinguisher onto some dickhead while he slept
>When i was 16 used to just sit in the back of a mates car and get pissed out of my wits every other night before he'd kick us out and drive home.
I am so glad I've put all that behind me.
I sent H to my ex girlfriend's work place and got her deported.
>>699909245
better crush the whole skull cause the person might have hidden teeth and whem they xray it you could get caught if they can make a connection.
>>699906731
so, did you fuck the corpses?
>>699887439
Is this the house used in the Claridryl commercial/ secret game?
>whole life has been shady
>mom an alchy
>stepdad was an abusive pill head
>went to juvee a bunch as a kid
>been to a few foster homes
Straightened my life out, met girl of my dreams got married. Got a decent job and was pretty good.
>found wife had cheated on me during a business trip with coworker
>opened a PO box and shit load of credit cards in wife's name
>start ordering oxies from India to PO
>started giving my adulterous coworker oxys told him they were prescription Tylenol
>get him hooked
>start selling them to him while making minimum payments to secret credit cards
>pocket most of the cash
>open a joint credit union account under brother and me
>tell wife they are downsizing at work
>start putting a third of monthly salary into account and all drug money
>drop secret hint to HR to drug test coworker, get him fired
>get him to cash in 401k at a loss to get him year worth of oxy
>also goes to credit union account
>have a birthday with friends and family, invite druggy former coworker
>offer him 10 pills to admit he and wife slept together in front of everyone
>file for divorce
>ex wife now stuck with druggy boyfriend
>he hits me up for pills
>tell him it was wife all along
>starts beating her she orders oxies on line to their apt.
>busted!!!!!!
SO that was the shades thing I've done, ruin a guys life. Made my ex wife's credit and debt astronomical, and beaten by a druggy boyfriend. Made her look like a whore in the eyes of all our friends and family. Now I have a HUGE travel fund and am enjoying life.
>>699910799
i used to print two cc receipts then write my own tip and forge the signature. never got caught.
I slashed 3 tires of a faggot's car because insurance can't pay the damage
and I smash all of his windows and wrote this: 卐 NO FAGS ALLOWED 卐
They leaved after that.
>>699892568
I did the exact same thing, except I hit a bunch of different stores. Easy to steal shit when it's winter and you have a huge coat.
Got caught at a Target, banned from there, arrested, payed it all off and haven't stolen since as well.
I used to steal and sell time cards for WoW and codes for new PC games. Made tons of money selling brand new 60 dollar games for ten bucks cheaper.
Got drunk with wife and her best friend they both knocked out before me so I undressed them both and liked both they pussies stuck my dick in both can't believe the never woke up.. Her friend is skinny with small tits but them pink nips damn dreams come true
I've crept through peoples houses before. Sometimes someone is home, other times no. I havnt stolen anything and I dont know why I did it.
As a teen, I took severe advantage of a girl who was stalker level obsessed with me. She'd do anything I asked, even told her to fuck a couple of my friends just to see if she would, and she did.
One instance that sticks out though is we are at a party, drinking a bunch. She passed out in the middle of the living room floor, everyone else left if went to sleep. I got horny and figured fuck it, she'd never tell me no anyway. Stripped her from the waist down. She was on her stomach, hitbit from behind with her legs together. No condom. All the thrusting made her vomit, just kept fucking her while her face sloshed in puke. Pulled out and came on her ass. Left her like that to be found in the morning by iur friends.
She wasn't even mad. She was glad I enjoyed myself and confirmed that I was always welcome to use her, because she was mine.
She wasn't super attractive, and she got even weirder over time so I cut all ties.
>>699911659
Good job
>>699911597
whats her name i search for so long
>>699889479
is that Glenn Beck?