ITT: We work at a office
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: We work at a office
>>698213035
Hey guys, hope you don't mind if I heat this fish up in the microwave.
>>698213211
Why would you put a fish in the microwave it is raw.
/卐卐/ Sieg Heil /卐卐/
>>698213515
Who the fuck let the neo Nazi in
Who let the nigger in? They are stealing the computers.
>>698214429
I think Dave did.
>>698215278
Dave is a fucken cunt. But you didnt hear that from me. Jen grom accounting said it, im just passing it on.
>>698215278
Goddammit. Sarah won't fire that faggot because she likes riding his dick.
>>698213211
Because it's cold
Not enough Hitler. I quit!
>>698216079
/卐卐/ Sieg Heil /卐卐/
Fucking christ the jew keeps stealing the stationary
Good thing I don't work at an office.
>>698214429
Don't worry about them the neo Nazi will deal with them.
>>698216366
kill yourself until you die
>>698216389
In that case, i'm coming back
>>698216363
Neo Nazi bill will gas him.
Guys, I don't know how this happened, but someone just finished printing 758 copies of the same sheet of pizza coupons, and now we're completely out of ink.
Hide the porn Boss is coming
>>698215278
Did you mail out those return forms ?
>>698213035
Hot dang! It feels great to finally be employed! And I'm making a livable wage!
This must be what adulthood is. I think I like it.
>>698216409
Please hold.
Can I suck your dicks
Did anyone get the 4-11 sent in from corporate? Dave wants it on his desk and complete by 3.
>>698217134
Yes I did you fat walrus fuck
>>698217386
Get out of here now! Neo Nazi bill will gas you
>>698217875
Bob don't be a dick
>>698217794
Dave can go fuck himself and the 4-11.
>>698217193
Not quite yet son. First you must develop crippling depression and a dependency on substance. Then adult hood kicks in.
Also make sure those files get sorted under
"Kikes" and "gas"
hey all, shitter's clogged again
>>698218100
Fuck you jack you're a dickhead
>>698218246
Yeah Dave! Go be a nigger some where else
>>698218419
God damn it pat just call the janitor.
Anyone got some coffee for break room 2b? We're out and precilla is breathing down my neck... please help me.
>>698218572
Yeah, you called, what's the problem?
>>698218419
We will get the damn mexican women to unclog it. What's her name? Whorita? Pedro?
Ha I put mismatched socks on again guys.. gonna be one of those days am I right?
>Fist bump
>>698218631
Roberta you dipshit
>>698213035
*an office
Hello Dunder Mifflin how may i serve you?
>>698218647
Fucking Thomas. Always the clown of the office
>>698218710
Someone throw the grammar nazi out the window
*walks in reeking of weed and holding a fast food drink*
Hey guys sorry I was late, terrible traffic on the way here
>>698218647
Fucc u
>>698218812
Well, nos that you're here go get some bloody work done
>>698218626
The shitter is clogged again
>>698218812
You walk to work, Peter and it's fucking 10:25
>>698218767
Yeah there can only be one Nazi here and that is bill the neo Nazi
Alison in accounting turned me down yesterday and I only cried for 12 minutes.
hi guys! So I received a memo sayin that today is bring your daughter to work...
So here she is little carolina.
Say hi to everyone honey, except for david, he's a douche
huh.. where are your kids?
>>698218957
Ah fuck. Not again, I'll get onto it
>>698219122
My kids dead
>>698218957
god dammit dave
>>698219122
I don't like the look Tim has in his eyes. I hope your daughter has pepper spray and barbed wire pantaloons
>>698219090
New world record
>>698219090
Well Alison is a dopey cunt get over it pussy
>>698213035
I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking office floor. Someone call the janitor Dave The Hedgehod down here right away pls.
>>698219122
Six feet underground
>>698219278
tim, you fuckin stay where you are, she remembers when you showed up at our door giving your gay speech about you being a sex offender!
>>698219386
hedgehog, omg I screwed up killing myself faggot
>>698219304
>>698219381
*leaps like gazelle from 12th story window*
>>698219472
I JUST WANT YOUNG FRIENDS IM A CHILD INSIDE..........a child with a 10 inch penis and bag full of drugged jolly ranchers
Jameson forgot to top up the toner again.. One more time and he's fired!
>>698219501
Hey guys Rob from shipping just killed himself. Whose car did he land on?
Guys, whats that out the window?
>>698219746
Maybe it's friendly
>>698218339
But...
But I already did the crippling depression and substance abuse. That's why I've been unemployable for so long.
I'm getting fired aren't I? This always happens. Thanks for the paycheck. I'm gonna use it to drink myself to death.
Who in the fuck set the thermostat up to 77F/25C? It's fucking summertime and hot out.
>>698219746
I'm going to need you to go ahead and come in Saturday, hmmmkay
>>698219613
You run tim the Nazi from the 88th cubicle will probably gas you because he just found out your a Jew
>>698219884
HOLY SHIT
The fuck is that smell? holy shit! Who took a fishy shit in the micro wave!? FUCK! How am i supposed to reheat my morning taco?!
>>698219844
I bet it was Shawntayna that sickle celled bitch
>>698219884
FUCKING TERRORISTS
>>698219884
Lucky it just hit the world trade centre
>>698219945
dave.
>>698219884
You'll never get your hands on our blueprints for a lighter more convenient turban
>>698218447
Now now Bobby
Dave! Do you have some fucking Doubkemint Gum you always bring?
>>698220163
ONLY MY HOOKERS CALL ME BOBBY
>>698219746
>>698219884
OH MY GOD
SOME ONE CALL 911
>>698218647
Haha Thomas what a card
Hey there, I have a package for Mr. FagSon.
Who is he?
>>698220221
Yeah but I ain't shearing.
>>698219746
>>698219884
>All I wanted was a quiet day at work.
Will whoever is masturbating on to Alisons desk everyday at least keep it off her computer? The poor girls keyboard has been replaced 3 times this week
>>698220293
Dave! there is a package for you!
>>698220293
Just look for the door with boss's room on it
>>698219703
Green Nissan corsa.. That's daves. Serves him right, the fuccboi
>>698220118
Kek
>>698220496
Lolz he had his dog in the car
>>698220255
I am your hooker Bobby ;)
>>698220408
Who the fuck let this hobo in
>>698220605
MOMMY?
>>698220669
Shush it's a surprise
>>698220605
I AINT GAY
Will you guys shut the fuck up?! Some of us actually do our work..FUCK!
I think my daughter is traumatized..
Huh?
Carolina?
Shit!
Carolina!?!?!
Tim! You fuckin cunt! where are you?!
>>698220769
That's what you think ;))
>>698216957
Lost
>>698220595
Good.
>>698220835
Hey dude I found these hello kitty panties in front of the executive bathroom
>>698220944
Sorry those are mine
>>698216957
fuck you dave.
I know it's you
What do we do here again?
>>698220794
Just wait till the chocolate bar I put in your computer melts...
Yoooooooo waz good ma.niggaz
I'm sorry to be all intrupttive and shiieett but I gots a package for a Mr Dave?
Some shiieett about return formz my niggaz *grabs crotch*
>>698221060
HE'S GOT A GUN!
>>698220835
Tim's in the gas chamber because bill the neo Nazi found out he's a Jew as for Carolina no idea
>>698221162
BILL WE NEED YOU
>>698221041
Once again.. I clean my computer every morning and always find the free snacks that you leave.
>>698221033
We ship return forms for an unknown company in an endless loop between our building, their corporate headquarters, the post office and back to us. And we make lighter, more efficient headwear for peoples of diverse backgrounds
>>698220944
Why are they smelling jolly ranger, lsd and semen?
I'm back from vacation! How's the neo Nazi station?
>>698221302
I like to have fun
>>698221060
BILL WHERE ARE YOU A NIGGER NEED TO BE GASED
>>698221242
SNACKS
>>698221358
We are allright!
Every neo Nazi is to report to the gassing chamber
>>698216957
God dammit! out of ink?! How am I supposed to make my missing kid posters?
>>698221534
Is there some Jews there?
>>698221534
Is there Jews?
>>698221601
Yes, there quite is.
>>698221601
>>698221651
Niggers and gays and jews
>>698221564
I told you you need to buy a new lock!
>>698220320
But, aren't you The legendary Doublemint Dave?
>>698221564
Well I saw Tim run to his sketchy white van with a Costco size box of condoms and a duffle bag that was squirming
>>698221754
We shall gas every last one of them.
>>698221754
Oh my
>>698221775
Yeah I'm Dave but like I said I'm not sharing
>>698221755
for the chastity belt?
>>698221900
Fuck you, Dave.
>>698220463
Ok thanks pal
Hello I'm Aaron I am new here also just to let you know I was arrested for 18 counts of arson
Does anyone know how to get in touch with tech support? All my files are missing
Hey guys, have you seen the secretary? I have something for her.
>>698221900
Hey Dave!
You like your coffee?
There's aids in it you fucking ball chewer!
>>698222202
You're a neo Nazi now.
>>698222319
But I'm not racist
>>698222202
welcome to the reich mate, the gas chamber is on your right
>>698222467
You're racist now.
>>698213515
Good morning, Bill. How's the weekend going?
>>698222467
It was in your contract
>>698222630
Fine I gassed 36 Jews 14 gays and 24niggs
>>698222837
You're promoted.
>>698220637
I'm not a hobo! I work here. Im just a having a hard time affording food and rent and utilities and basic hygiene because I keep paying my student loan bills on time.
But that poetry degree was so worth it!
>>698223284
Actually do some work then you tramp
>>698223284
You sir, are fucking demoted wow what a loser am I right guys
>>698223284
Tommy, who the hell says hobo anymore? What is this, 1930? By the way, fuck you. You didn't get me those copies, you piece of shit.
>>698216363
Does craft mac and cheese count as stationary?
>>698223526
>no more ink
>>698223613
you're suppost to refill it fucking shit
>>698223613
Goddammit! Sorry for yelling everyone. Sigh. Sieg heil, I guess
>>698223718
It wasn't me!
It's fuckin' Dave!
This shit head copied his dick again
WHO STARTED A FIRE IN MY CUBICLE
>>698223974
Where the hell is he?
>>698224036
Pretty sure it was the nigger fixing the vending machine. He seemed to do some fishy shit by your trashcan
>>698224153
Why is there a nigger in here?
>>698215555
I'm surprised no one had said anything about the quads. Its dumb anyway but I'm surprised.
>>698224078
I think he's with Tim, giving aids to a little girl
>>698223526
You mean the pizza coupons?
Here's 758 of them. We ran out of ink and couldn't print the other 242.
Sorry sir.
>>698224260
I'M GOING TO HAVE SOMEBODYS ASS FOR DINNER
>>698224221
We work in a small town, all right? He's the only vending machine repairman in town. I'd have killed him, but he's doing an all right job at the moment
>>698224221
He broke on i'll gas him
>>698224339
*token office faggot* Yoo-hoo!
>>698224339
don't take carolina, she have aids now
I better see this place clean after my break.
>>698224303
Don't let it happen again. Sorry for yelling... so you guys wanna get a drink and some pizza after work?
>>698224256
We were gassing the niggers
WHOEVER TOOK A SHIT ON MY DESK IS FUCKING FIRED
>>698224256
Everybody hate Dave, it's not a surprise
>>698224814
You're not the boss, Terrry. You can't do shit
>>698219884
Can we have one day where the office doesn't get hit by a rouge plane? The explosions are starting to hurt.
>>698224814
I blame Dave.
>>698224814
It's your lunch sir!
Your wife made it.
>>698224941
You're Terry, braindead freak
>>698224945
Dammit it, Jon. You sound like Arnold on the Magic School bus. "Please let this be normal. Meh meh meh..." shut the fuck up and do your goddamn job, you curly haired fuck.
>>698225159
Atleast he isn't Carlos.
>>698221852
Tim does that everyday with Dave. I did see a small child jump out of that plane wreckage though.
All neo Nazi's get an extra nickel for every negrojew they gas
>>698225631
We're making commission now?
Hello I'm Henry redwood I have a warrent for the arrest for Bill Anderson on a count of 18,52369 counts of murder if you seen him let me know
>>698223284
Poetry degree = hobo
Where's Jimmy the special security guard when you need him?
People, our gassing productivity has reduced in a six percent, so we need to enter other areas apart from Jews, gays and niggers. Options? What else can we gas?
>>698225837
Anyone on tumblr.
>>698225837
Bronies, furries, handicapped, etc.
>>698224036
That was probably the plane crash Joe.
>>698225785
He's shitting on our bosses desk.
>>698225740
We always had
>>698225837
I propose we gas Dave
No one answered my question. Anyone down for some pizza after the work day? Just got a lot of coupons today.
>>698225837
The handicapped
Shit, here comes Billy. What a prick. Does anybody actually like him?
>>698226034
go fucking kill yourself you shit faced nigger
>>698226034
No you fag
>>698226114
if hes a nigger then gas him
>>698226114
Hey Bill!
>>698226064
Tony here says he doesn't like you. Enjoy!
>>698225919
God Dammit Steve I told you to get me those gas canisters shipped by Friday. Now how are we going to finish gassing all of the cancer on the internet?
>>698225159
This office has been on fire the entire time I've worked here.
And then it gets hit by more fucking planes.
I'm sorry if I can't focus on my fucking work Chet.
>>698226034
with extra sausage for dave
>>698226034
Meh. Maybe.
>>698226278
You're demoted to wash our feet
>>698226025
Dave can't be based.
>>698213035
>a office
Well then you're fired since most office environments require literacy.
>>698226286
MY NAME IS NOT DAVE IT IS DIVA. USE MY NEW NAME FOR GOD SAKE. AND DON'T FORGET MY NEW PRONOUNS TOO ASSHOLE. the transition from male to female is just so hard.
>>698226278
Literally everyone else has had a productive work day, Jon. Literally everyone. Except you. With all that complaining, I wouldn't be surprised if you were a fucking jew.
>>698226437
OH SHIT IT'S THE CEO
>>698226517
Well of course he is a Jew. That is why we put his office in the furnace.
>>698226531
aren't you the office boss
>>698226531
Yes and I'm changing the culture.
>>698226576
fucking gas him
>>698226531
EVERYBODY, WE ARE GASSING JEWS SIR!
>>698226488
eat a shitty dick Dave.
Dave.
>Dave
>>698226582
i'm the OFFICE boss, not the building idiosa
>>698226639
Don't mind me I totally wasn't looking at porn and jacking off instead of gassing Jews over here.
>>698226437
There is only one Nazi here that is bill the neo nazi
>>698226639
Good. Now what is our company motto? Our creed? Everybody join in to say it!
Then we are gonna diversify into gassing Jews, niggers, gays, bronies, furfags, handicapped, tumblrfags, anything else?
>>698226696
>>698226726
>porn search history; jew+gassing
>>698226767
PENISFUCK
>>698226740
Bill is a part of the SS here to make sure all of us Wehrmacht normies are doing our jobs.
BILL! STOP STEALING MY FUCKING STAPLER OR I'LL TELL YOUR WIFE YOU'RE FUCKING ASHLEY FROM HR!!!!
>>698226865
That's the spirit! Now, gooday everyone!
>>698213035
I'll be the guy who bikes the files and stuff back and forth between the chans.
>>698226740
you forgot the hitler lover who owns the chamber
>>698226767
Dave
>>698226854
*whispers* gassing Jews is my fetish. So what if a few of the little ones go missing from time to time.
>>698226696
That is Dave Jr Dave's son
>>698226820
9fags?
>>698226892
> Ashley from HR
As if we let women work here!
>>698226820
Dave's children
>>698227055
woah1111
>>698226767
Gotta gas them all!
>>698226820
Libertards IE Anyone from California who is from the coast and not republican.
>>698226488
We aren't talking to you trans Dave.we are talking about regular Dave.
>>698226995
Add to porn web search;
>child+gas+jew
NEW RULE FOR THIS FLOOR: any gays get the special gas
>>698227124
JEWKEMON!
>>698227192
Sorry I have MPD Trans Dave takes over occasionally and fucks some shit u... No I don't Straight Dave is a trans-phobic pice of garbage and so are all of you Naz... oh dear lord I think I forgot to take my meds today.
Hi guys, sorry that i'm late... had a tought nite
>>698227403
Im sorry guys I have to rush home real quick and grab my meds.
>>698227403
BBC are not real meds
>>698227426
You're cleaning feet with Jake.
>>698227426
Hey, four hours isn't your latest. What happened? Late night with Dave? Sorry, late night with Diva?
>>698226517
What if I was Chet? What would you do Chet? No one will believe "shit his pants at that meeting" chet.
>>698227426
I think you're still hungover
>>698227012
>>698227176
>>698227083
>>698226820
That should increase our productivity, an 1943%
>>698226892
Bills fucking Ashley? Isn't thatthe other trans fave?
We need to start gassing trans
>>698227795
That's Ashley's brother you're talking about
>>698227984
We don't have enough chambers for everything
>>698228068
Get the CEO
>>698213035
>a office
I hate you already.
>>698228161
And Gas him?
>>698227644
I told you, I sat on my snack pack. My chocolate snack pack. It wasn't shit. It was too creamy to be shit. Okay? Now drop it
>>698228218
We're making him fund more.
Ok, so Joseph's been stealthily but fucking everyone in the office. I've seen him do it like 20 times but no one seems to notice? Should I report this to hr?
Hey! The Fuhrer is coming!
>>698228161
Dave's ass have enough space to be a chamber
Hey! The Fuhrer is coming for a check in!
>>698228555
fuck everyone back to work!
>>698228511
>>698228555
Sieg heil
>>698228555
gottendag mein fuhrer
>>698228555
Make him get more chambers
>>698228475
Stealthily? Believe me, I knew when his cock was in my ass. But it's too small for damage. Let it slide, I'd say. He thinks it's a joke
>>698228297
It was a bit smelly don't you think? Must have been really old chocolate.
>>698228544
Huh?
>>698228475
Naw they got like 20 complaint forms it's real backed up.
Hey guys its me Dave. Ive got my meds and now Im back.
>>698228740
I like to put Parmesan on my Snack Pack. That's why it smelled bad. Better than "piss my pants while the Fuher yells at me for complaining" Jon. Even the Fuher knows you complain too much.
>>698228555
Do you think he will notice that all off my ovens are easy bake ovens? And all of my Jews are brownies for the office?
>>698228747
Everybody saw you put a entire bottle of champein up your ass last new year eve.
>>698228705
Do u want to get gassed?
>>698228984
Fuck dude that shit was crazy. Remember when we had an orgy in the ovens!
>>698229027
You can't gas the floor manager.
>>698228855
Which Dave?
Forgot to tell you all I brewed decaf in the coffee pot this morning.
>>698229059
Yeah. And Harambe was caught in when we left. Found him dead after we got back from the weekend. Sad.
>>698229059
We once again proved that Bosch are the best ovens
>>698228920
That was not piss that was liquefied Jew. I take the initiative Chet. Despite being on fire. Sieg fucking heil.
>>698229177
>sad
>sad?
It was our monday lunch! What's sad about that?
>>698229252
Dammit, Joey. No one wants to see your fucking comic collection.
>>698229401
You're promoted to assistant manager.
Alright Listen up you motherführers! Who ate the fucking yogurt that said Mortz on it!
>>698229133
the one who spreads his ass cheaks
>>698229468
Dave.
>>698229316
Liquified Jew? Excuse me, but I haven't seen such innovation you fuck! Please, show me how to "liquify a jew." Also, do liquified Jews smell like asparagus or just the jew on your pants?
Did anyone ever find caroline by the way?
Hey someone clogged the toilet and now liquid shit is coming out
>>698229601
The boss was eating her ass for dinner
>>698229485
I like that Dave.
>>698229601
She was found six feet underground
>>698228202
Fuck adolf is coming
>>698229751
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>698229578
Asparagus and sneaky gold my friend!
I think I'm gonna need to leave early, boss. My check liver light is on from last night.
>>698229836
Get the hell out of this office already
>>698229614
For fucks sake! You sure it's not another jew hiding in there?
>>698229826
Also, at least my mom isn't dying of cancer like a pussy.
>>698222837
>>698222929
back to work dorks you're daydreaming again
Bill is the new floor manager, i'm apart of the chairmen now.
>>698230177
That cancer is making her stromger. Your herpes however...
>>698225795
Hai gaaauise, whatf yuu doieng? Uuuuaahaha!
Whefs Jonneh? He dole mai sammich yetterday!
>>698230448
At least my herpes prove I got laid, unlike that unused condom that's been in your wallet since you worked here.
>>698229809
You're so full of shit dave
>>698230731
One more thing...
We need you guys to stop fapping in your cubicles.
Thanks.
>>698230579
Me and you shared many a passionate night before your herpes. I slammed your ass while on fire in the office too. Don't deny it Chet.
Got a message from the boss:
Water coolers empty again guys. This.Can.Not.Happen.
Love-Your favorite Nazi
>>698229155
Underrated reason for us all to go home early.
>>698230980
Are you wanting to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you right now, Jon?
>>698230944
Why? It's put in a collective jar and will be Bill's birthday gift
>>698230532
Haaaha elor foyofoh
:^)
>>698230448
stromger? cancer only makes her weaker by the day.
>>698231315
Thanks for having my back, Oscar.
