Stupid shit you did while horny
>Green text stories are encouraged
bump
>>698174934
sauce please I see that shit everywhere and can never get saucerino
Who is the girl in the video?
I believe its a Katie Lynn
>>698174934
>go on /b/
>look for "fb fap" or "pics you shouldn't share" threads
>find some sluts I like
>fap
>repeat the next day
Don't know how to green text but I got something for you faggots, last night some slut hit me up, she was home alone and I was horny. Go over there, forgot a condom /b/, never ever forget a condom take that note. This bitch scratched my back up and sucked my dick so well I came and gave her a total facial as well as hitting the wall behind me, also got some on my arm. She now calls me squirtle
So this thread amounted to fuck all
>>698178245
>>698177579
on xnxx and pornhub katie lynn doesnt seem to be a person
>>698174934
I fapped
>>698174934
hannah west
>>698178245
How do you green text??
>>698179483
Just add > before you type something
>Beat off in the movies, get cum in some random chicks hair
>>698178511
Exactly how I felt man
>>698178568
shd prob take more xanaxx
>>698179483
>>698179732
dude fuck the both of you
ftvvvvv
>used to have a key to neighbor girls house down the street
>skip school and head over
>jerk off in her panties
>always careful to clean up
>one day, use a pair of her moms bra and panties instead
>go to bathroom, clean self, head home
>realize later that i'd left the cum-soaked bra and panties on the moms bed
Its Katy Lynn http://www.thexvideotube.com/3280/ftvgirls-katie-so-many-first-times/
>>698174934
>Stupid shit you did while horny
How about nearly everything done by every dude on a promise, ever? lol
In terms of solo shit:
>really enjoy doing stuff in public
>at a fairly deserted train station one day when I was a little younger
>see an average looking but somewhat hambeast-ey bitch. Not desperate enough to fuck the whale but horny enough to have a laugh with her involved
>decided to proposition said hambeast, I stroll up and ask if she has a bf
>hambeast is single. fuckingshocker.msi
>Offer her $10 to watch me jack it and nothing else
>hambeast agrees, shocked but curious
>expose the dong, already diamonds.png
>start jacking, she seems to be enjoying the show
>start to edge a little closer, thinking i might be able to cum on her before she can get away for additional lulz
>shesgettingintoit.exe
>i ask if she wants to touch it, notlongnow.mp3
>she's unsure but puts a fingertip gingerly on the tip and rubs around while i keep jacking
>feelsprettygoodactually.bat
>I can't wait any longer and unleash the kraken, it ends up all over her hand and the arm of her jacket, just fucking everywhere all up and down her arm.
>hambeast freaks out, I leg it and wait for next train
>>698183375
Holy fuck anon what happen did they know it was you
>>698181970
Jesus fuck you
>rape
>>698177970
this
>>698174934
>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>"ARE YOU ALRIGHT"
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens
>>698187472
Cont
>>698174934
Name Of Chick Pls
>>698181970
he's just helping out someone who obvliously has interest in this site. How is that bad? More traffic = new shit= getting rid of old copypasta garbage. It all comes back to help us as long as we don't break the chain, anon.
>>698187472
continue please
>order sex toys from Amazon
>comes out to about 500 dollars total
>realize this is fucking stupid
>boner started to deflate
>order pizza instead
>>698187472
>Get on floor
>Wall the dinosaur
>>698187955
anon pls
>>698187472
fap to any nudity, even little girls :( I know its sad but once you get horny, any imagery would do :(
http://xhamster.com/movies/4308093/sexy_staci.html
>>698188282
Rip >wall
>>698187472
Rest in peace trap anon
>>698176200
staci carr
>>698174934
Roll
>>698188292
>took bait of bait
wew anon, all of that was almost worth writing, thanks
>>698188815
>/b/
>>698188292
>be me 12 yr old feg whos in love with neighbor girl
>she move away
>break into her empty house
>goes to her room
>faps epically as any 12 yr old possibly can (in room)
>feels weird and unsatisfied after cum
>leaves and is confused
I havent talked to her for yearsss i actually miss her
>>698187472
>door opens
>its sister
>time freezes, we make eye contact
>more commotion and foot steps
>her friends come in to see whats going on
>after an eternity they burst out laughing
>i try to hide my face but sis lifts my chin up and they take pictures
>girls start whispering to each other, sister listens in
>they all laugh really hard, and help me sit up crosslegged, giant fur boots make it hard
>they straighten the hood and fluff up the wig, i quickly shake my head to try and get it off, they laugh more
>one of them leaves the room, sis and her friend hold me down
>they call me a fag and threaten to post pics on facebook unless i do what they say
>i struggle some more, friend returns with tube of something
>they hold me down while lifting up the wig and squirting stuff inside, then pressing it down hard on my head
>by the smell and the weird grasping feeling i realize its glue, they do the same to the hood and make sure the sides are glued to my face
>they start redoing my makeup, making it look a lot better, adding fake eyelashes and tons of glitter
>huge erection isnt going away, sis sees it and giggles, and gives it a quick tug. i moan and look away, and she rubs it again twice with a slow rythym
>she stops and the girls laugh again, they show me a mirror and im disgusted and turned on at the same time
>dragqueenraver.jpg
>drugs make it impossible to do much but moan and ooze cum
>girls struggle and lift me to my feet, say they have a surprise for me
>pretty much drag me downstairs, i cant walk well in the high heeled fur raver boots
>drag me outside and take me toward the car
>>698174934
This is the stupidest shit anyone has ever done while horny. Leads to shitting blood for a week.
>>698185677
>drugs make it impossible to do much but moan and ooze cum
LOLOLOL
>Be me, 13 years old
>Fucking hormones
>Alone at home, I grabed some playboy magazines my dad had
>Masturbating on the first floor of my house
>Realizes that I left the best mag on the second floor
>Goes up
>Hear my family coming back from wherever the fuck they were
>fuckingpanics.jpg
>Runs back to the first floor where I left the magazines
>Trips over the stairs
>Fucking sliced my heel with the edge of the steps
>Blood all over the floor
>Evenmorepanicking.jpg
>Faints and wakes up with stiches on my heel
>Mom looked at me angry
>Father keks
>>698189091
Buuuump
>>698189091
Cont....
>>698189091
>its sister
>>698184064
legend
>>698189091
whats the surprise
Had sex with my girlfriend at the movies. We watched conjuring 2
>>698189584
Holy fuck cont
My dick's actually gotten me into a lot of trouble. Long stories short, I got suspended from high school and was in trouble with my stepmom for ages because I got caught getting a blowjob on-campus, and I went to the hospital and permanently scarred myself fucking a girl who was a bit too drunk and wound up smashing her head into mine.
>>698189091
Waiting for third installment
>>698184064
hahaha
your a thing of legends anon.... never change.
>>698180311
Did she not notice???
>>698189584
hahahahahahahahahaha
the absolute mad man!
>>698183375
What happened
>>698189943
"....her head into mine."? You mean you skull fucked her too hard?
>>698189091
We are losing interest....
>>698189091
Cont. Please
>>698190281
ur trying too hard now man
>Generally wind up with female friends
>Also happen to have a life controlling sex addiction
>Gets worse over time
>Over the past few years, somehow lure every single one of my female friends in my convoluted sex life
>Can't stop myself
>No friends anymore
>None of them even know about each other
>I've cum on, in, or around every female I know
>And they all hate me for it
>>698190639
are you me?
>>698190639
are you me as well?
>>698183375
As a teen I used to sneak into my live-in aunty's room when everyone was out. I'd lick and scrape her thongs clean.
Got to taste everything. Bloody, cummy, pisssoaked, even shit sainted. She was a fit bitch, but dirty dirty panties.
>>698190722
Checked
>>698190639
I wish i was you. You clever bastard!
>>698190639
>sex addiction
Just because you like sticking your cock in multiple women doesn't mean you have an addiction
Came in a 16 year old when i was 20 in my state thats 30 years if caught
>>698189091
I don't think we're gonna get this cont boys
>>698190865
been that way since puberty
I have fucked every girl around my age in my neighborhood and refused to date any of them so now they hate me. Same goes for customers when i worked at subway, they just stopped coming to my subway lol. Military now so its not an issue.
>>698187754
Caci starr or smth
Here's my weirdest one
>Be 3 years ago
>At work, coworkers ask me to go out for a drink after work
>Surewhynot.jpg
>They invite gay coworker who is male essentially trying to be somewhat of a female
>Go to bar and have a couple drinks
>I stay hitting on my cute female coworker, we'll call her hoeworker
>Gay coworker getting jealous but didnt get why till later
>Start making out with hoeworker
>Go back to gayboy's house with rest of coworkers
>Im shitfaced at this point
>Little by little everyone heads out
>Try to get hoeworker to stay. Ridiculously drunk and insanely horny
>She says another time when im not drunk
>everyone is now gone but gay boy
>He flirts a little with me
>I reject for a bit
>He blatantly offers bj
>Literally so horny, how gay could a bj be.
>Get gay head
>Go home
>Rethink my life for like 3 weeks
>Only gay interaction ever in my 24 years of life
Side Question:
Does that make me gay? I find no attraction to men at all and have a gf currently
>>698191043
Aaaaaaaw yis
Any tips broseph?
>be me
>at this time in highschool
>16 with a beautiful and devoted gf
>have class with a 8/10 total slut
>she is hitting on me one day
>tells me she wants to suck my dick
>HardDick.gif
>sends me nudes that night
>feel terrible and delete
>same thing happens again 2 weeks later
>this time completely stop talking to the girl
I'm still dating my girlfriend and would never cheat on her or let anything like that happen again, but every time she tells me she appreciates my loyalty, in the back of my head i feel like a huge fucking douche.
>>698190409
Nope.
>be me, in college, going around campus getting trashed with those one girl who has mini-Barbie-doll looks
>start making out and getting really physical
>find out she wore lacy panties just for me (her words), insta-boner
>she doesn't want to go all the way back to the dorms, so we start fucking on top of the table of our math classroom
>facefuck her, missionary, etc.; she's saying all the right filthy shit to get me diamonds-hard
>bend her over start fucking her doggy style, claws sunk deep into her ass
>just as I'm about to bend down and grab her tits (and thus moving my head down), she whips her head back, HARD
>I can still hear that resounding *CRACK!*
>nothing but colors for a few seconds
>blood
>leave a trail of blood all the way down to the bathroom, look in the mirror
>I bit a huge fucking hole in my tongue and it's hanging on by two threads, one on each side
>can't even speak, jaw hurts, blood all over me, she's still trying to kiss me
>wind up going to the hospital
>on hydro and drinking fruit smoothies to stay alive for the next week and a half; smoking cigs through my nose
>permanent scar in tongue
>>698174934
went on 4chan
>>698189584
Pic of scar related
>>698190860
This is my dream
>>698191121
Nah. It just means you were drunk and horny
>some fatty neighborhood girl. (Probably like 13 at the time) I met when I was 14-15. (26 now)
>It had been like 3 months since I broke up with my long time gf.
>I ask fatty chick, who I just met, if she wanted to chill.
Btw, it was night and parents didn't want me to be out late
>anyways, I could tell she was really into me because out of nowhere she asked if I had a gf.
>told her no.
>asked me if I was a virgin.
>I told her yes.(even tho I wasnt)
>I asked her the same questions but she told me she wasn't a virgin.
>I asked her if she ever gave BJs.
>she took my hand and took me behind some cars parked where I live.
>it was dark, but you could still see light coming from the moon's light.
>she pulled down my pants and even it was fckin' cold, she managed to get me rock hard within a minute from her soft lips and warm breath.
>ain't gonna lie, the thought of getting caught in the act was a big turn on.
>she was amazing at sucking dick
>BUT bitch was just teasing me and left me with blue balls. She told me see had to go but will finish next time.
I was like "ok cool, bitch. (In my head) I'll just finish it myself at home."
Cont.?
>>698191161
She wanted me more then i wanted her was clingy asf i never initiated shed always text me "whelp im nekked" those words exactly every time she ended up being a crazy cunt but that pussy was tight and that ass fuuuck ill prob never fuck something that tight again
>>698190860
>>698191169
At least you feel guilty. You seem like a good person anon
>browsing porn
>ready to fap
>finished my lube bottle, nothing close for lubrication
>cant go back to dry/spit masturbation
>search like a madman in mu room
>find an old as fuck body lotion
>sniff it, still smells really good but its color went from with to almost yellow
>fuck it
>start fappin
>cum
>took a quick shower, hit the bed
>middle of the my dick gets itchy
>scratch, keep sleeping
>next day my dick still itches like crazy at work
>get home
>check my dick
>my penis is destroyed
>literally destroyed, i panic
>its red, swollen is multiple parts of my dick, almost covering the whole shaft
>i can se blood
>it itches but it also hurts like my dick got deep fried
>still panic
>take multiple showers
>next day my dick is no so swollen but still destroyed
>go to dick doctor by myself
>dick doctor says you fucked up
>"get this medication, and dont fap untill you finish your medication and come back to me"
>6 weeks of dick medication
>couple of weeks go by without fapping, no big deal
>finally my dick looks better, almost back to normal but whiter on some spots.
>one day browsing porn, gets horny
>i might fap, my dick is better
>still no lube, search on my moms room for baby oil or something like that
>found body lotion but this time is new, looks white, almost no smell so i guess its more natural right?
>fuck it
>start fappin
>cum
>as i sit on my chair on relief for finally fappin i look down upon my dick
>dick is destroyed again
>even more swollen and more red, and i can see more blood this time
>itchyness is stronger
>fuck my life
>dont go to doctor,just get more meds
>still taking my meds on this day, without fappin
>almost a month now, my dick looks good now
>feel like i could go for a fap right now
My format might be ruined so forgive me if this is a mess
>>698191169
Don't feel douchey about it cause you didn't do anything, you literally delet her number and moved on
>niggers
>>698191199
Hairy ass leg
>>698191199
Nigga you shouldn't be walking
>>698191433
I try my best /b/ro
>>698191335
Cont.
>>698191169
Bruh you should relieve yourself if some guilt, you didn't do anything physical and you stopped before it got too far. You're -okay in my book bro.
>>698191199
Jesus Christ, anon. Ouch.
>be 14
>live in Japan military affiliation
>crush went on a weeklong vacation
>notice her bathroom window to her empty house was left open
>>698191185
Show scar faggot
>>698191185
pics of tongue anon pls
>>698190961
There are people who are genuinely addicted to swallowing hotwheels cars, collecting cats, and severing their own body parts. It shouldn't be hard to believe in a sex addiction. My sex drive has cost me way more than it's ever brought me pleasure. It's not even fun. I don't enjoy it the way I used to. It's not that sex is just so good that I can't stop myself, it's that it's so terrible to not be sexually stimulated. Then again, you're an Anon talking out of your ass, probably a teenager, so it's not like you really give a fuck or will ever reconsider that thought.
>>698178245
>This bitch scratched my back up
I hate it when they do that.
I had to wear a t-shirt at the beach a couple times because of that.
>>698191633
>>698191682
No camera on this PC and no pic saved. I'll try to find it anyway, though.
>>698191619
Continue
>>698174934
>fake account on sex site
>folder full of nudes with no face of random girls that sorta have the same body
>pics don't flag on reverse searches
>trade pics on said site
>still doing it
>>698191121
U should be executed with that pear shaped instrument these lads used. Big metal thing the disembowels you.
https://youtu.be/Nf_Y4MbUCLY?t=32
fuckin faggot!
>faggot
>>698191169
You're a good person. It takes a certain somebody not to do anything.
>>698174934
ate my cum because I ran out of disinfecting wipes. it surprisingly tasted sugary this time instead of salty, and I'm not sure how I can replicate the same results.
Well I got one fucked up one.
>Used to work at Dominos
>GF at the time wanted me to bring her a cheesy bread
>ok
>says it's for her little sister
>her littler sister is hot as fuck
>Make the cheesy bread before I get off work
>go home to change out of work clothes
>remember GF is on period so no sex tonight
>decide to fap
>fapping
>get bright idea
>I jack off on her younger sister's cheesy bread
>Rub it in with fingers
>go by GF's house
>watch as her, her younger sister, her sisters friend and her mom all share the cheesy bread
>mfw
>Drunkenly asked a rabdom drunk girl to do what i say at a college party. > she obliges.
>mumble .. go upstairs take everything but bra off in open room.
>weiner dont work now but heavy energy in hands and tongue.
>spill drink get angry atself
>remember i told a girl to do that an hour ago
>check if shes still up there
>open the door. Jumps awake. Been waiting she says and hands me panties
>push in and finger and do what she wants.
>were both half asleep
>wake up. 3 am. Raging bone and still lit
>shes showering
>hand over underwear
>thanks was fun
>call again maybe. No response. Leave room. Pass out on couch.
Fuck alcohol
>>698191408
I heard from a pedo in EU that Ukraine and Russia have white lolis for cheap. At least as cheap as brownies in asia.
>>698189091
cont, plz
> Beta at the time
> She takes my pants off
> Gets on her knees
> I pull my pants back up
> She just straight out leaves
Literally realized 3 years later that she was about to suck my dick
>>698191440
you dumbass
>>698191440
why not stop buying meds and BUY SOME FUCKIN LUBE!!!!!!!!!
>>698192108
Been there. The aggresiveness of some girls is fucking overwhelming sometimes. It happens. Dont sweat it.
>>698191619
HOHOHO this can only end well....
>>698191440
what was the lotion stuff?
>First day of High school.
>No girlfriend atm.
>Last class of the day.
>Sitting in front of black girl with big tits.
>We ask the basics.
>I said "These are boring. Ask the fun ones."
>What about Handcuffs or whipped cream?
>"I haven't done either. But I'm game for both.
>Oh really, Anon?
>Yeah. *winkey face*
>Class is finished. She asks if I would like to go to her house.
>The only room I was introduced to was hers.
Continue?
>>698191780
Take this it's dangerous to go alone.
>>698192512
>continue?
No. Stop being a faggot and demanding attention. Tell your story, or don't. You're not special.
>>698192008
karma anon, karma
>>698192512
Please cont
>>698192008
HAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
diamonds
>>698191169
You're like a perfect human being, you absolutely do not have to feel like a douche
> mom just out of the shower with a towel
> sexy mom butt
> comes into my room
> sad asf for ex gf
> looks at me
> just lets towel drop
ITT: autistic virgins fapping to each other's fantasies
>>698192054
ikr, too out of it to enjoy it.
>>698192764
yeah pretty much but still. what if, ya know
Well, was horny enough to fuck my 7/10 cousin so there's that. Ended up fucking her in every hole.... Actually waiting on her to give me a bj in a few minutes....
>>698192764
you life is a vegetables fantasy
>>698192842
time stamp her head or gtfo
>>698192627
Neither is this comment. I'm not gonna waste my time if there's no interest. Cunt.
>>698192448
It was like body cream, the thing is that it was so old, and those things have chemicals for it to smell good that when they get too old, the chemicals burn your skin, and for the second time, well my dick was barely getting better and that soft lotion still fucked me up
ok here's a story I've never told anyone. EVER.
>be me, 14 or so
>enjoy cross dressing in my basement bedroom
>would steal mom's one piece swimsuit and wear it all the time
>was also into self bondage, but not very exciting obviously
>had a room in basement so we had these like beams on the ceiling to attach things to
>i also have a VCR
>i get an idea
>i need to push the envelope and feel some danger
>i bind myself with cables and a padlock to the ceiling
>the key was in the VCR and when the tape was done, it would auto-eject and the key would fall out
>system tested EXTENSIVELY first because, this shit is dangerous
>rig it up
>forced to wait like 2 hours like that
>inescapable and I can barely reach the VCR with my toes but the key is inside, nothing I can do
>so hot
>tape finishes
>tape ejects
>something goes wrong
>tape ejected ok and pushed the key, but the key didn't fall out of the vcr as planned
>ohshit.jpg
>not panicking yet but definitely scared
>SUPER aroused when I realize I'm in a serious predicament
>getting caught by my family would have been life ruining
>had to do something
>figure that I subconsciously left enough room to pull my wrists out without the key
>nope.jpg
>OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
>start trying to concoct a story if i need to call for help
>there is no story that's going to explain this
>i stretch like I've never stretched before
>can only reach the key with the tip of my toe
>can't get it out
>full on panic mode
>i'm bound to the ceiling with a padlock dressed in women's clothing ffs
>in all my life i've never been more scared or aroused
>one more stretch
>reach the key
>it falls out
>fortunately is reachable with my feet
>put it into my hands like a fucking monkey as originally planned
>freedom
>never do it again
>>698191335
>2 days had gone by
>thought I wasnt going to see this fatty anymore cuz she can sure suck a dick.
At that time I didn't know what it was described as but later on in found out it was called Deepthroat. I had become addicted to it.
>anyways, I was going to the nearby store when all of a sudden I see her posted next to the store.
>found out she lived right next to the store.
>I talked to her for a bit and we agreed to meet up later at night and so she could finish what we (she) started.
>night comes, and guess what, str8 to business. (I love my life!!)
>this time she took her sweet swweeeet time. And I loved every second of it
>she used that tounge in ways I never thought a girl could.
>my knees would give out, so I would try and recline on one of those parked cars. But that mouth was like a vacuum cleaner
>she would deepthroat for a few 5 secs and go back to the head and twist and twirl her tounge from the base and back again to the head.
>just as soon as I almost came, she told me it was late and had to go back home.
>REALLY BITCH!?
>right there and then, I decides that next time I see her, I'll cum inside her magnificent mouth xD
>>698191043
how does it feel that there is no statute of limitations on your felony rape case, and any time that she feels like speaking up, you could be served with an arrest warrant?
>>698192904
Or go fuck your self and accept what this fictional or nonfictional post was meant to be. Don't have a need to prove anything. besides I already shared the entire story along with 20 pics few months ago
>>698191185
Holy shit!!!! I'll make sure to bring a mouth guard if i ever leave my wizard studies.
>>698193039
That's why u need a partner. Even if it is a creepy old lady.
>>698174934
>Came in a 16 year old when i was 20 in my state thats 30 years if caught
I'm glade in Europe you more protected I fucked a 16 year old a few weeks ago Afther getting smashed in the bar, the next morning she tells me her age, and I found out she is the ex ff of an friend of mine
>>698193321
Um........ I'm ok with this........ moar?
>>698193432
yeah well when you're 14 and you live in the middle of nowhere you do what you must
>>698193560
Or fuck an animal. Horse ideally.
i whipped my dick out for harambe during school
>>698174934
When I was 15 I found out about a gay bar around the corner from my house, and I was pissed I was still a virgin and couldn't get laid by a girl, so I went and loitered around outside of the bar until some gay dude cruised by and asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. I didn't even make this dude use a condom, I took his words for it that he didn't have HIV.
In retrospect, I could be on AZT and any number of expensive-as-fuck medications fighting back the AIDS, but everything turned out alright.
>>698192512
you little faggot finish the story
>>698191999
Checked and if you ever do it again you better come back and tell us how. Make threads all day about that shit. Who wouldn't want candy cum?
>>698191924
>Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
>>698193849
bump
>>698191169
your girlfriend is lucky bruh, so stop being a faggot about it
>>698192512
>black girl
No thanks
>>698180311
win
>>698191043
A 26 yr old came inside my daughter when she was 15 and impregnated her.
>>698194036
>>698192512
>black girl
>big tits
probably fucking fat too, please don't continue, you'll bring even more dishonor to your family
>>698194159
HAHAHAHAHA
>>698193917
YYYEEEEESSSSSSS. But can you do it?!
>jerking off thinking about my ex and her nice tits
>text her to ask her to ask her to hook up.
>beta af but she agrees to a date
>cum and feel regret that I just agreed to date a girl who cheated on me in hs
One time when I was nineteen, I was ridiculously horny and wanted to get filled so I went on Craigslist and let two randoms use me as their cum dump. I even drove to them. Turned out it was one of the dudes birthday.
>>698190639
Tasha's brother?
>>698191169
good guy/10
Never lose your integrity anon.
>>698194159
Oh my god
>>698194314
holy fuck
>>698193104
>next night, I see her and once it was dark enough, took her to out secret place...behind the parked cars
>as she takes her sweet little time, I begin to thrust harder and harder.
>she gets a bit mad and tells me to let her do her 'job'
>she continues and I gradually start moving my hips.
>she bites my dick a bit hard
>hurt a bit, but not to a point where I'd like it to stop.
>I apologize and tell her "go on"
>do it again and she bites it again!
This time it hurt, bitch.
>but oh gawd, it still feels good, don't stop!
>as I'm about to cum, I tell her to hold it right there and I empty my load, we'll some what.
She sorta pushed me back cuz she felt it twitch and the warm cum.
After that she started spreading rumors that we were a couple.
Never again, penis, never again.
>>698194313
Wait...... hold up......
....as in a female cum dump?
>>698193469
Im 37 and fucked a 15 yo a month ago
>>698194427
wow those tits are petite.
Got any bush?
>>698194378
That you, old friend?
>>698194624
ass pics?
>>698194515
lol never put ur dick in crazy nigger bitch
>>698194173
Knows what's up
>>698194516
Yup, I'm an idiot female
>>698190639
How do you go about doing that with them?
>>698194523
first off
NICE FUCKIN JOB
2nd up
How??? And how can I get a nice loli like that?
>>698194782
>tits
>gtfo
I'm guessing tits because you admitted to being a cum dumpster
>>698194726
that's me
>>698194624
Impressive.....
...can you shoot her with scissors, blades open and inwards, in her snatch? So rare to find.
>>698194828
i'll fap to your wife 2
>>698194697
Correction: never with a crazy bitch. (Even though she wasn't a nigger) just a wanna-be nigger with her nigger talk.
>>698194782
Tits are overrated. Show me dat sweet poon with ur pencil case contents inside. that would be very...... sexual.
>horny
>curious
>post on craigslist
>summon courage
>meet dude
>suck his dick
>boner deflates so far it's basically inverted
>let him fuck me anyway because I said I would
So much regret.
>>698195154
wannabe-niggers are the worst
>>698187472
sounds fake to me
>>698194782
h-hi
>>698195110
But ur her boss, u say jump, she shoves stake knives in her taco.
FYI she'd love it. ++++++++i'm not saying cut her to ribbons, just have her rest em in there loosely. I'm not saying 10 pairs, more like 2 or 3. No harm will come of her.
>>698195236
>being this gay
dude you got fucked cause you were scared to speak up. cmon
>go over to friends house to smoke weed and play magic the gathering
>his friends little sister (we are 23 she is 20) has a friend over, he didn't tell me about it
>REEEEE
>didn't get a chance to dress nice or shower
>go home, shower, come back
>we all party that night and fall asleep
>she falls asleep on the couch next to me
>take off my pants
>stand over her, jacking off
>put finger in my ass, sniff her feet, blow huge load over her
>she slept thru it and had no idea
dat post-fap shame. felt good tho lel. also nice fap memory
>like 2 days later
>at gf house
>gf asleep, on period, no sex for me
>recently painted her toes pink (she never does this)
sniff her feet (slightly smelly from work)
>come all over them
>she sleeps thru it
>do this every time shes on her period
>start to not mind at all the period week cause of dem feet faps
heavy sleepers are the best. and yes, i am a terrible person
>>698194684
Ignore the other poster, that was my greentext. Not Tasha's brother. Sorry.
>>698194818
You like Johnny Cash, anon? Go listen to One Piece at a Time, but replace the car parts with sex acts.
>>698192916
No one cares, you faggot.
>>698178245
inb4 newfags call you a newfag
I masturbated to MoonMan while high on LSD, Greatest fap in my life
>>698193760
You sound retarded
>>698195601
Johnny Cash was fucking metal.
>>698195567
does she knows that u post theses ?
>>698176200
>>698177134
>>698177134
its from a vid "emotionally overwhelming bloonde" or some shit
>>698194828
kinda big lips but dat bunghole looks delicious
>>698174934
>tried to fist my ass
>enema with shower head on full force
>fap with big balloon full of piss wrapped around my dick
>root beer enema
>shoved handle of a kitchen knife up my peehole
This all happened when I was a teenager. Didn't do that stuff anymore after I got a gf.
>>698195509
*terribly good
U magnificent bastard!
>>698174934
I took home and banged a barfly at last call while drinking all night. I did that more than once, I eventually learned to not go out drinking alone... always have a wing man.
>>698190860
that's a nice weather penis
>>698195890
>>698195916
repost plz
>>698196112
didn't save
>>698194882
>>698195178
That's not how it works newfags.
>>698194280
>date goes well
>too horny and beta to not go
>go back to her place
>starts making out with me and sucks my dick
>tells me I'm the only guy she's fuck who treated her nice
>starts calling me a bitch and kinky shit like that
>getting hard and turned on it by it
>cum in her mouth and she makesout with me while I finger her.
>too horny to care that she snowballed me.
And that's how a got into a femdom relationship
>PIC related her tits
>>698191440
Step one: spit in your hand.
Step two: jack off.
Step three: spit in your hand more when your hand and dick start getting dry.
Step four: appreciate that you've just saved time, money, and your dick by using some natural lube.
>>698193624
how is a horse going to tie me to the ceiling? you're not too bright are you
>>698174934
Femanon here
>did anal with bf
Hurt so bad
>be me
>17
>mom leaves the house
>I'M_HOME_ALONE.JPEG
>start jerking it to some skinamax on the couch in the family room
>dog comes into room, looks at me
cont?
>>698192334
>aggressive
>>698190961
Yes it does if it consumes his thoughts and ruins his life
>>698195672
Shut the fuck up newfag
>>698196523
>start fucking dog
>holding on as it runs away
>so close to cumming
>hear mom scream
>look up, room is empty
>look down, am fucking mom
>who was dog?
>>698196377
She's a hambeast
>>698196395
coconut oil is the shit. cheap too. leave it in a hot room and it turns from a kind of paste into a liquid. works better than KY and doesn't burn if you put shit in your ass with it
>>698190860
crusty panties make me want to vomit how do you guys get off on that shit.
>>698180311
fuuuuu anon post reaction
>>698196395
Who needs to use lube anyway?
>>698196718
8/10
My gf was on the rag. I lubed the bend in the back of her knee and fucked it. Came buckets. Shit was so cash.
had sex with my wife
Sometimes when I'm physically close to girls, I wish I could just sweep them off their feet and kiss them.
Just this last semester, I sat next to this girl who I'd been taking classes with for years.
It wasn't until the last few weeks until I noticed how pretty she was. Shit sucks. I wanted to try to hold her hand, kiss her cheek every time she leaned towards me. Worst part is, I'll never see her again. We probably wouldn't even make a good couple, but I just wish I knew I liked her sooner.
Can anyone else relate?
>>698196718
original author of >>698196523
my sides are falling off. i laughed so hard i cried. ty anon
>>698196983
You monster
Constantly reject girls in my dreams because I'm happily married. Like... I'll be asleep, dreaming im about to have a threesome with 2 hot bitches and suddenly my unconscious mind will say no i cant I'm married. Think I've gotten further than 1st base in like 1 dream since I started dating her I used to get heaps of sex dreams I miss them.
>>698196983
Sicko
>>698196760
I hate my life
>>698187472
>>698189091
things that actually happened, the post
>>698197059
Haha that's happened to me too. I was dreaming about some girl, was about to do some good shit, but pussied out "what if gf finds out"
>>698194782
Did you wish him a happy birthday?
>>698174934
Stuck a shampoo bottle up my pooper
>>698174934
Fucked my wife right in the pussy, got so excited i pulled too far out and missed her pussy on the next thrust.
Rammed my dick full throttle into the space between ass and pussy, she couldn't walk for two days.
>into urethral sounding
>usually sterilise everything beforehand with boiling water
>this time I was so horny I got impatient
>figured isopropyl would be enough
>ended up with uti
>>698187754
seconded
>>698192512
unfortunately, their magical evening together was interrupted when someone shot harambe
>>698197157
My wife has told me clearly on several occasions i have permission in my dreams but that don't count for shit. Haven't had a wet dream in like 10 years.
I usually wake up soon after I turn them down tho so I take my frustration out on my missus.
>>698174934
When I worked near a middle school, I had a habit of banging jail-bait. Hormone filled girls at the start of puberty, a sizable percentage of them are flying around on their vaginas looking for a penis to land on. I dodged going to jail a lot, had to find a different job to avoid temptation.
>>698197275
Lucky you didn't break your penor. happens all the time in porn.
>>698196502
Hillary Clinton's doughnut or GTFO
>>698195509
I just fuck my wife in the ass or mouth during shark week.
>>698197767
what's wrong with her cunt?
>>698191440
>needing lube to fap
>>698197828
She doesn't like it when shes on her period. It's fine though I like ass better.
My ex was very against anal. Once, as I was fucking her from behind, right as I came I slipped my whole thumb Up her ass in one. Loved shooting my load into her while holding onto to her as she tried to escape.
>>698197828
Apparently it has shark teeth during shark week.
>>698174934
name ?
>>698192108
KEK
I wonder how she felt about that
>>698174934
A hottie who I knew had Herpes and Chlamydia cornered me in a bedroom at a party. I caved and banged her. Waiting for my test results was the longest wait ever. Dodged two bullets from one bang.
>>698197990
kek. Nah Neither of us like it.
Messy, feels gritty and she just feels gross during her period. She still gets horny tho so either Bj's or ass for me. She can cum easily from me rubbing her clit while pounding her ass so we are both happy.
>13 years old
>love voyeur and just general out in public stuff
>Get really really horny one night
>wait till about 1am
>leave my house while parents sleep
>completely naked of course
>Jerk off while walking down the street
>two or three cars pass me and honk
>think its the hottest shit ever
>I live in Australia so the night was fairly warm
>continue doing this for a couple nights
>every time I do this I cum buckets
>One night I leave later then usual
>doing my thing walking around playing with myself etc.
>spot girl walking all alone solid 7/10
>really really drunk stumbling all over the place
>consider my options
>I continue to walk towards her
cont?
>>698197570
Yeah, lucky me, but it took a shitton of time for her to be able to relax in bed again.
>>698198097
Rejected.
Girls read all kinds of shit into things when sometimes we are just locking up from inexperience. I fucked up a bunch of times before I finally stopped chasing the "perfect" opportunity and just went for the first chance I had.
>>698198489
Either post the whole thing or don't post it at all you fucking cunt.
>>698196502
I feel you. I was drunk. I cried.
>>698198632
this this this
>17yo at the time (turned 18 2 weeks ago)
>16 yo qt3.14 neighbor keeps asking to hang out
>she says she wants sex
>made it sound like she was joking
>comes over my place
>we fuck (no condom)
>i don't finish
>she goes home crying for whatever reason
>find out she is EXTREMELY religious and she was a virgin
>i fucked up
>we text for a bit and she apologizes for forcing me into it and now letting me put a condom on (true)
>2 weeks later calls me pissed off cause i fucked another chick and she found out
>"congratulations you're a dad" and hangs up
>freaking out
>doesn't text me back for 2 months
>find out from a friend that she's been lying this whole time
>relief
>starts spreading rumors me raping her
>have texts of her admitting that she forced me
>texts me a few days back
>asks to come over
>no thanks
/b/ tell me what to do
>>698190639
are you me? started this shit when i broke up with my gf last year. shit escalated quickly.
>>698198771
>>no thanks
>/b/ tell me what to do
You've already done what you need to do.
Don't put your dick in that crazy again.
>>698196395
step one: have foreskin
step two: get hard
step three: let it go away so wasted load has leaked into foreskin and kept there
step four: use that as lube
works surprisingly well
>>698184064
>motion to rename hambeast to harambeast
>Touch my gf
>"Not today"
>fuck_why_not_now.tif
>sadness
>>698198489
nigger finish your fucking story
>>698196792
A lot of cutfags
>>698198970
very true
what should I say if someone approaches me about it accusing me of rape?
>>698196377
Super hot!!! PLease continue!
>be 16
>skipping school
>decide to go to a nearby park with lots of trees, it's mostly grass with lots of trees around
>there are terraced houses at the very end of the park, you could jump over their garden wall from the park
>basically chill at the back of these houses under the cover of a shit load of trees so nobody can see me
>nobody ever comes this way, so for a while I just lay there playing on my phone, bear in mind this was 2003 so phones were shit, I also listened to my iPod
>Started having a wank (yeah, Britfag here)
>Notice curtains twitching at one of the bedroom windows
>shit.avi
>Put dick away and try look up gingerly
>A hand is waving at me
>WUT.jpg
>Can't see their face
>I gesture that I'm confused
>Window opens and 40-something-year-old brunette says I saw what you were doing
>She's 7.5/10 and I have no idea how the fuck to react, never been caught before
>She says, if you can get over my wall (which has glass on the top to deter burglars) she'll "help me with that"
>nobrainer.exe
>Put school blazer over glass and do a running jump
>The glass wasn't even stuck down properly so it just fell down
>EASY.bmp
>I walk down her garden and she's waiting by her back door
>I walk in the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur
>>698198489
Yea
>>698191121
>Does that make me gay?
About as gay as you touching your own dick. It's fine, man, relax about it already.
>>698199503
Sounds like a 70's porno plot line. The ironic thing is that things like this DO actually happen.
>>698199403
If it's the police, show them the SMSs
If it's not the police, say nothing or they will turn that into victim blaming somehow
>>698200077
Dubs have spoken, but you're 100% right anyway
>>698200077
thanks for the advice
also, check em
>>698200073
The thing is, it's actually a true story but I got bored so I just dinosaur'd. Would you like me to actually continue?
>>698174934
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1701792067
thank me later
>>698200313
Pls do
>>698198632
Jeez chill fam
cont of >>698198489.
>Keep walking towards her
>Stand in front of her on the footpath
>she stops
>Puzzled look on her face
>Im scared shitless
>with a shaky voice I tell her to get on her knees
>she laughs at me
>say it again more aggressively
>She stops laughing and says no
>and tries to walk past me
>this was on an empty dark street at like 3am no one would see
>I stop her again
>grab one of her tits
>she gives me this look I will never forget
>a mix of arousal and fear
>she gives a small awkward giggle
>I grab her other tit and squeeze
>their so soft
>I wanna fuck her there and then
>she knows this
>I move my hand off one of her tits
>start jerking off whlile feeling her tit
>she says no please not here
>I say nothng and keep going
>I almost yell at her Get on your knees
>She does it
>stick my cock in her face (my 5 inch 13 year old cock)
>And move her head towards it
>she tries moving away
>stop her
>Eventually get it in her mouth
>she starts sucking on it
>dick is diamonds
>to this day best blow job I ever got
>lower her shirt so I can see her tits
>notice she is fingering herself
>cum in her mouth
>she swallows
>gets up and fixes her shirt
>says to me in a frustrated tone "happy?"
>I say yes
>and ask for her number
>after alot of convincing she gives it too me
>I say bye and leave
Let a guy suck my cock, then I sucked his and we both fucked each others asses.....
>Still straight tho
>>698200313
If you want yeah, but I can pretty much guess what happenned. If there's terraced houses backing on to a park I guess you live up north? I know what 40-somthing birds from up there are like. Am banging one now myself. Story swap if you want?
>Get a random friend request from.some cute girl.
>Girl asks to video chat.
>fuckit.avi
>I video chat and she tells me to whip out my dick.
>All of a sudden I notice the camera on my phone is filming me.
>ohShit.jpg
>she proceeds to tell me that she had a video of me masturbating and she was going to post it on my Facebook page and tag my friends and mom and dad.If I didn't pay her money to delete the tape.
>blackmail.mpg
>I told her "most of my friends have already seen me naked and my mom and dad don't even get on fb. Run that shit bitch--if anything it will just help out my game.
>Zero fucks given
Moral of the story--don't trust niggers or catfish.
>>698200448 cont.
>so does she
>call her up two days later somehow she remembers me
>says we can meetup once and finish what we started
>The next day after school go to her house (shitty apartment near me)
>she realises how young I am
>says its hot
>I lose my virginity
>We kept doing it on the down low till I was 17
fin
>>698200448
This is either fake or the most alpha 13 year old I've ever seen.
Makes sense you live in Oz
>>698196486
Gotta use a pig.
They'll hog-tie you.
>>698200210
sure.
>>698200363
Thank you.
>>698186233
Dubs says you dindu nuffin
I tried to shove a plunger handle up my ass.
>>698174934
tried to use an electric razor as a vibrator
>>698200363
any idea how to rip the video
>>698191121
There are very very very few things that can make a man gay. Getting your dick sucked by another man is definitely one of them.
>with friends including a grill
>high on molly
>sneak inside closed public pool
>before jumping in I shout It's me dovahkiin... DRAGONBORN!!!
>get thrown out and my firends hate me
>>698201121
how did that go?
>>698200498
I read a very exact same copy of this story I have no clue where I heard it from probs here?
>>698174934
Jerk off in public
>When I was still virgin about 17 years old, I didn't have a girlfriend by that time so I didn't know how the vagina felt like.
>So once I heard that it was similar to the inside of a papaya.
One day I was horny as fuck so I decided to buy a papaya and make on it a little hole, so I could put my dick inside, so I just start the video and then I began to fuck the papaya but it got broked instantly and all the seeds were in my dick and belly and I just fucked up all the floor.
>I didn't like that experience, the inside of the papaya was so cold and I got sticky after that.
>>698201194
he was drunk dumb fagget
>>698200363
Tank you
afterparty in friends house, 4:AM
>be me, one friend, 2 girls (one friend and one fat)
>we decide that woo, let's drink more
>drinky winky
>both girls really dig me because /fit/
>eventually right before we go to sleep, my guy friend is out cold, and other girl goes to bathroom
>fat girl remains asks if she can touch me
>lol, ok, do whatever
>she fucking gropes me like a baboon gropes a fresh banana
>she begs to fuck her
>I am too horny and I decide taht trying to get sex from my girl-friend would be a bad move (I knew her sister etc etc).
>get condoms
>silently fuck her in next room, she gives succ
>I think she was a virgin, there was some blood, def not mensturation blood
>we go back to the room and as we sit down the girl from bathroom energes.
>crisis avoided. Also had sex. go to sleep.
>later regret, as fat girl, while not ugly, it fucking way below my power level
Sucked a guy's dick and let him fuck my butt.
>>698189091
wtf man, update us, i need to know at what point you walked the dinosaur
>>698199503
Fuck you
met a fuckbuddy - very cool, short girl with amazingly musculed/strong body.
>she suggests some light bdsm
>ties me up
>this is new to me
>fucking teases me into oblivion
>feel like a dog, horny af, naked girl dancing in front, giving light touches, letting eat her pussy
>untied me
>I fucked her wildly for a little before a grandiouse orgasm.
So yeah.. being horny made me try bondage and it was sweeeeeet
>be little me
>recently discovered how to fap and generally starting to be horny often
>home alone
>decide I will fantasize up some porn scenario
>eventually end up lying on an ironing board naked
>ironing board is my surfing board, I am stranded at sea
>I am rescued
>girls need to take my cum samples to see if I am still healthy
>fap
lmao, these stupid scenarios were popping in all the time in my head.
Don't make me started when I discovered furries and fapped away 2 years thinking about dragon maidens and lioness lovers
>>698197854
He is circismo
Dont die thread